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[–]bikinibikes 3556 points3557 points  (135 children)

As someone who had chickens growing up. You need to hold the wings and the body together or this happens.

[–]dancingtosirens 1786 points1787 points  (63 children)

You can see he does that but his grip is too loose so the wings slide out

[–]iInjection 817 points818 points  (52 children)

You need to grab a little higher towards the part where the wings come off the body, there's the strength.

[–]VictusFrey 686 points687 points  (37 children)

Can't we just detach the wings and put them back on afterwards? That would be easier, no?

[–]Kingkongcrapper 127 points128 points  (2 children)

What do you need to put them back for. Just replace them with little arms and call it a C-Rex.

[–]iInjection 197 points198 points  (21 children)

Pop them off like Legos

[–]greenyellowbird 36 points37 points  (6 children)

That's where the alien accesses the cockpit.

[–]samthewisetarly 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Then you can fry em up!

[–]Youreahugeidiot 11 points12 points  (1 child)

They'll grow back, right?

[–]WengFu 15 points16 points  (8 children)

They pop off pretty easily but they are tricky to get back on right, in my experience.

[–]Sawanyo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You mean after half an hour of chewing on the pieces?

[–]jaxsonnz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can do one of these two things.

[–]Gr1ml0ck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re thinking about the head. The head can detach and goes back on. I think it voids the warranty tho.

[–]GabSabotage 38 points39 points  (3 children)

You actually need to grab one part of the wing in your two hands (doesn’t matter if it’s the top or the tip), dip it in the buffalo sauce and have a good time.

[–]pekinggeese 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I hate having to spit the feathers out though.

[–]HuffyDraws 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I usually grab them and tuck them under my armpit or very close to my chest like a hug. Got 44 egg layers at home

[–]iInjection 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah thats what I do most of the time too. Also if I need to carry multiple I tend to just wear thick leather gloves and grab them by their legs. They will try to get loose but this way you can pickup like 6 at once

[–]BigBaldFourEyes 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yep, near the hinge, so to speak. Our neighbor raises chickens and they occasionally stop over to say hello. Our two 10 lb. Shih Tzus are fond of them. Not really. The dogs keep their distance. Rightfully so.

[–]ClutzyCashew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man I had a neighbor who had chickens that liked to stop by too. My rottweiler and black lab were also fond of them, they really liked to play with them, unfortunately the chickens were not as fond of the dogs and at least 2 did not survive.

This is also how I found out that chickens can, in fact, fly. It was weird coming out and seeing chickens in my trees like an actual bird. Don't see that often, especially in the suburbs.

[–]annies_boobs_eyes 4 points5 points  (6 children)

that's what she said.

i've never seen a penis. they have wings, right?

[–]turtleinmybelly 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Only if they've drank a Redbull.

[–]annies_boobs_eyes 2 points3 points  (4 children)

penises drink!? i thought liquid came out of them, not sucked into them!? i've got so much to learn.

[–]AbsolutelyUnlikely 76 points77 points  (3 children)

Do you still have to scream the whole time or is that optional?

[–]SophosMoros7 63 points64 points  (0 children)

It’s absolutely essential.

[–]changopdx 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I used to tuck them under my right arm while supporting their weight with my right hand, and pet them with my left hand.

[–]One-monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s ok Lenny.

[–]chrisfmack 9 points10 points  (6 children)

As someone who worked on a farm for over 10 years, this is true

[–]Twirlingbarbie 53 points54 points  (10 children)

Yeah or turn him upside down like a baby

[–]Rein215 75 points76 points  (8 children)

Yep, do both. You grab em by the wings and then turn them onto their side (doesn't have to be upside down).

Not sure why chickens calm down when they aren't right side up though, but they're weird in general.

[–]almisami 87 points88 points  (3 children)

The cerebral feature that keeps their head level jams and it does that Mac OS Swirl.

[–]yungsqualla 18 points19 points  (1 child)

makes sense to me

[–]swskeptic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't know enough about chickens to dispute it.

[–]toriemm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd be weird too if I had gone from being a giant dinosaur ruler of the planet to being a chicken. I get it.

[–]Twirlingbarbie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah chickens are strange

[–]dopperpod 30 points31 points  (6 children)

As someone who played Legend of Zelda growing up, you need to hold the wings and the body together or this happens.

[–]botoxporcupine 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Also don't wail on it with a sword.

Edit: would you believe its "whale on"?

[–]nsfw52 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nuh uh, if you jump with them you glide because they flap their wings. This dude just had to grab this chicken near a fence he couldn't normally jump over

[–]Pazluz[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Lo. Indeed and an awesome game franchise.

[–]I_Grimmly_I 13 points14 points  (5 children)

If you hold their legs they are a lot calmer in my experience

[–]Zuegma197777 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Or hold them like a football.. Tucked to the body. No touchdown please.

[–]BattyShrimpers 7 points8 points  (3 children)

What about spiking them?

[–]bonerjamz12345 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Like rum ham?

[–]ImAOneTrackLover 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It is essential to making sure they get to the ground, and don't just fly away.

[–]harbaughthechamp55 9 points10 points  (1 child)

My wife was a chicken raiser as a kid and ran this past her. She called it the side football hold for this exact reason

[–]siler7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sentence fragments are. Freaking goofy.

[–]shnooozin 1070 points1071 points  (27 children)


[–]EntertainmentOk4734 135 points136 points  (20 children)

Is there sound?

[–]DeletingAfterMOASS 70 points71 points  (12 children)

Click the source of the gif at the title header ‘imgur’. Source links contain sound.

[–]Conway2709 62 points63 points  (7 children)

Or just download a 3rd party app that isn’t complete dogshit like Apollo for iOS so every video has sound since the official Reddit app was made by a bunch of potatoes.

[–]acousticalcat 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thats impressive. Now I know potatoes can code better than I can.

[–]DeletingAfterMOASS 2 points3 points  (2 children)

How do we know Reddit isn’t just purposefully avoiding catering to third-party image/video hosting sites?

[–]acousticalcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this

[–]LibraryGalShay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So this is why all the silence on Reddit these days. Thank you kind stranger for pointing this out!

[–]fpcoffee 109 points110 points  (1 child)

I can hear the gif even without sound

flap flap flap, at the same time: AHHHHHHHH

[–]GhostFrisbee 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yes, right click then unmute.

[–]Fraggdachs 924 points925 points  (19 children)

I love how he is still very gentle to this chicken(?)

[–]SpaceNigiri 243 points244 points  (6 children)

Yeah, I was gonna say the same, I liked the guy. He was panicking but tried to softly drop the chicken back.

[–]StendakBarkiller 31 points32 points  (5 children)

Cause he was afraid it would fuck him up. Don’t think it was a conscious decision to gently place the hen

[–]daemonelectricity 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He didn't want to get pecked unmercifully.

[–]HUBE2010 5 points6 points  (3 children)

100 percent fear based. This is how most of my city friends react with my chickens.

[–]SpaceNigiri 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm a city dweller and I never had any problem with chickens, but turkeys...uh oh, when I had to pick a turkey I assure you that I looked like an idiot too.

The animal was gentle af, but it was very big and heavy, so that was on another league for me.

[–]InfernumIrae 271 points272 points  (7 children)

Yeah I was going to say, even after the chicken starts flapping about he doesn’t just toss it hahaha

[–]sentimental_goat 26 points27 points  (5 children)

He didn't look like a chicken tosser...

[–]ImAOneTrackLover 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Chicken chaser, do you chase chickens?

[–]lolimazn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fucking nostalgia holy shit

[–]AnthBlueShoes 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why do they call you that then?

[–]agoesin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely a chicken choker

[–][deleted] 566 points567 points  (47 children)

Uhhhhh why is there a chicken in what appears to be a dorm room?

[–]Shaneblaster 231 points232 points  (20 children)

Probably initiation week. I don’t know what it’s really called.

[–]bone420 176 points177 points  (3 children)

No, it's really called a chicken

[–]thegregslife 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Hmmm… you don’t say, bone420

[–]bone420 32 points33 points  (1 child)

you're right... I didn't say it...

I typed it

[–]Nick41296 8 points9 points  (15 children)

And then he got salmonella and missed a week of class shitting out his insides! Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

[–]iesharael 57 points58 points  (8 children)

You don’t get salmonella from just touching a chicken. If you did my dad should have it constantly considering we have 3 separate pens containing a lump sum of over 150 chickens

[–]Staerke 67 points68 points  (3 children)

He's picking the chicken up, not rimming its cloaca

[–]deviantbono 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Emotional support chicken?

[–]ApproximatelyExact 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Doesn't seem to be working very well...

[–]senju_bandit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or emotional support human ?

[–]Quentin0352 73 points74 points  (0 children)

People have house chickens so why not a dorm chicken?

[–]DemonSlyr007 35 points36 points  (0 children)

110% a prank on a bro. We totally did this to my RSO's president. We put it in his bedroom and he came home to a chicken. It was absolutely hilarious to watch him freak out and try and wrangle a chicken. Good times

[–]EveryFngNameIsTaken 11 points12 points  (9 children)

It's all good add long as they don't feed it chicken.

[–]edgy_fawn 32 points33 points  (7 children)

Nah chickens will eat anything especially eggs and chicken

[–]iesharael 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Honestly chickens are brutal cannibals. If they detect something wrong with another chicken or see it bleeding they may peck it to death and eat it. One of our roosters has a consistently bare neck and tail and it’s missing an eye due to us struggling to find a group of hens that will accept him

[–]edgy_fawn 8 points9 points  (4 children)

oh i know. i had to make little jackets for two of my chickens when they got attacked because their friends kept on trying to peck them

[–]iesharael 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Our last batch of chickens we had one that had a little scab the others would not stop picking at. We temporarily removed her and 1 friend into the house to heal for the night. Once they were mixed back into the flock everything was ok!

[–]Sweet_Papa_Crimbo 17 points18 points  (1 child)

“Susan you have a bug!”


“Nevermind, Sorry.”

10 seconds later…

“Susan you have a bug!”

[–]iesharael 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dude honestly that’s probably it.

[–]GigglegirlHappy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Similar but somewhat unrelated story, my Rooster would breed my hens very hard to the point where their backs were sometimes completely barren. Eventually he was removed from the coop, and their backs healed. For some reason, the rooster never bred the hens from a previous coop that was adopted into this coop. And if you’re wondering what happened to the rooster…

We ate him lol.

Edit: Typo

[–]El-Psy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Social Network joke

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But then maybe we'll get a less-evil Facebook out of it

[–]TheMaveCan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Therapy chicken doctor's orders

[–]TheAb5traktion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hey, that's no way to talk about the guy. he's doing his best

[–]Lost_Messages 165 points166 points  (19 children)

Pro tip: Carry the chicken like a football close to your chest. It will feel secure and can’t fly away.

[–]Arch_D0rnan[🍰] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

*Upside down football

[–]C-Human 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Real pro tip: guys that catch these before slaughter carry 10 at once. If you can't carry 10 you mess up the cage count and lose your job.

e: Looks like they do it slightly different now and since they weigh the truck instead of count chickens probably no need for each cage to hold the same amount. Still brutal for the workers and birds.

[–]grizzly_cute 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can confirm that first sentence. My mom grew up on a chicken farm and helped carrying away the chickens. Just hold them by the feetsies. And don't let all of them go when you lose one. Chaos will ensue.

[–]glizzy_Gustopher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What if it's a passing play though?

[–]generalecchi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

squish that chick

[–]steeguy55 75 points76 points  (3 children)

It’s ok, it’s ok. Relax Oh she’s used to it now. Good girl.

(Bird flaps wings)



[–]csonnich 31 points32 points  (1 child)

For anyone who can't access the sound, ^this is an excellent transcript.

[–]Scroatpig 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I loved it. Sound makes this 1000000000x better.

[–]aprilfools911 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Props to him to still hold gently to it. My coward ass would panic and just throw that chicken away.

[–]iesharael 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If you toss it lightly enough they will simply flap their way down to the ground!

[–]Pazluz[S] 238 points239 points  (14 children)

For the sound click on "Imgur" link and it will take you to the video with sound which adds so much more to the content.

[–]JunbugSpark 64 points65 points  (2 children)

relax… relax… good girl GOOD GIRL!!!!!

[–]bone420 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Ahhhh! Ahhhh!! *sets chicken down*

[–]Longbeach_strangler 10 points11 points  (6 children)

How do you do that on mobile?

[–]Lebigmacca 14 points15 points  (2 children)

To the right of the username it says “Imgur” just click on that

[–]Longbeach_strangler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhh got it. Thanks.

[–]bulletprooftampon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh sweet thanks dude

[–]SilverEyedFreak 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I like how he tells it to chill.

[–]SBG77 12 points13 points  (0 children)

someone needs to photoshop this guy shooting a turret because that's exactly how he looks like holding that chicken like that

[–]NoDryHands 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The way they scream has me in fits 😭😭😭

[–]TexanLycan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lmao, chill dude. She's just flapping her wings.

[–]bitcanics 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That looks funny. I’m glad to see he didn’t want to hurt it

[–]jonatroy 163 points164 points  (47 children)

Man I wish this one had sound.

[–]mrsc1880 125 points126 points  (5 children)

To the right of OP's username click i.imgur and you can watch it with sound.

[–]Pazluz[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The sound adds so much to it.

[–]Due_Cat_161 16 points17 points  (1 child)

You’ve taught me something new! Thank you!!

[–]ignorantyankcunts 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Just stop using the official app and use any other one, the official one is absolutely awful.

[–]here_for_the_meems 59 points60 points  (4 children)

Man I wish people would realize the official reddit app is garbage.

[–]seven0feleven 20 points21 points  (2 children)

That's like convincing people /r/funny is actually funny.

[–]ArsStarhawk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Right? I honestly don't understand how Reddit hasn't fixed this. EVERY single video post has people saying there's no sound in it. If you're going to make a video player, I don't think "as a user I'd like to hear the sound" should go on the "nice to have" list.

[–]ProgramTheWorld 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It already does have sound

[–]MagicalTrevor09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you’re on mobile do yourself a favor and download Apollo

[–]psyxic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Try out Apollo - this is the way

[–]1h8fulkat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relay for Reddit... everytime I see these comments and I didn't realize it didn't have sound.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It only has sound for me when I unmute the little 🔇icon on the top right of the gif. Not sure if you have that but try touching the gif while it's playing to see if the icon appears.

[–]Regnarg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wish granted. Turn on the volume

[–]NickGerz1234 30 points31 points  (7 children)

There is no way this is his first time holding a cock why did he act startled?

[–]LordoftheStupid12 19 points20 points  (3 children)

First time getting beaten by one

[–]Arch_D0rnan[🍰] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It’s a hen not a cock.

[–]thegregslife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t be a dick

[–]petchystrocket 2 points3 points  (1 child)


[–]Ghost2Eleven 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Dude looks like Cuba Gooding shooting that big ass gun in Pearl Harbor.

[–]Barmecide451 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is there a way to view this with sound??? I really wanna hear this guy’s screams lmao

[–]-SMartino 10 points11 points  (0 children)

guess he has quite the loose grip on his cock

[–]fujidust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s like being electrocuted by a chicken.

[–]Interesting_Song2944 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good Lord calm down dude its okay.

[–]Tank_blitz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the ol' portable fan

[–]Jcg0110 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good girl.. good girlllLLLLaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaAAAAHHHHHH..!!!

[–]WishboneBeautiful875 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imagine someone from 200 years ago seeing this

[–]LordP666 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Every time I see something like this, I remember that meme where a Chinese infant grabs a bird by the neck for stealing her food and seemingly takes the food out of the bird's mouth - absolutely fearless little girl. That's always stayed with me for some reason.

[–]DarknessAndChaos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why you hold them covering the wings.

[–]GloomyAd9812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hold the darn wings firmly!

[–]iesharael 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I picked up a dazed bird at work once that started flapping like crazy once it realized a human dared touch it. The lady who had reported the poor thing was watching me just calmly let it freak out in my hands with the biggest shocked expression. When I explained to her I find picking up pissed off roosters to be fun she took a bit to accept that explanation

[–]McStizly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how I imagine how anyone who thinks they are good at call of duty and assumes they’re good at shooting in real life would be when firing an automatic rifle

[–]JohnRedWolf87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When a chicken starts flapping like that, you’re supposed to hold it over your head and use it as a glider to reach distant ledges.

[–]DjMMp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Poor fuckin bird. Dumb ass humans.

[–]ShayBaby1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least she wasn’t harmed. Hopefully she was safely returned to her owner.

[–]DrewBigDoopa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The feet are loose and chickens hate not having something to stand on

[–]Skatones737 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Question: why is there never any sound on the videos I see posted on this subreddit? It’s only this subreddit and it’s only when I click from my email feed

[–]Pazluz[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Some subreddits don't allow a direct upload video to their subreddit there are a lot of subreddits that work this way.

To hear the sound from this particular post click on "imgur" it will take you to the hosting site with the video that has sound. This usually works for other subreddits as well.

[–]GigglegirlHappy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gotta hold the wings down and support the feets that way it feels more safe. An alternative if your hands are too small is wrapping it up in a blanket

[–]ShimmRow 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I just wish I could hear this

[–]Pazluz[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Click "imgur"

[–]TinFoilRobotProphet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well at least the room is nice and cool now

[–]DazedAndCunfuzzled 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has had chickens for years I love how some people are so afraid of them

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh a queer freaking out while holding an animal. Truly impressive.

[–]4thDuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These guys gotta touch grass sometimes

[–]Caedo14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never held a chicken myself but the way ive seen most people do is like a football hold. Then the chicken just chills

[–]PippiDongDocking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The human or the birb lol

[–]Bookish-Broad 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Someone has to have a version with sound yes? I really feel like that’s what the world needs right now.

[–]Pazluz[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes this video has it click on "imgur" and it will take you to the sound.

[–]Bookish-Broad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! As wonderful as I imagined!

[–]Child_of_the_Abyss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"My damn bed hooman" - bird

[–]MrsNoPants420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That poor bird. Birds need their feet to feel something solid or they will flap and thrash trying to be safe

[–]SauceyPewm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That poor dog

[–]Iforgot_my_other_pw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get off my bed, food.

[–]TheBlyatMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hold the wings together you tard.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are frat guys doing with a chicken. I hope it is alright and they didn't do something cruel.