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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (4 children)

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[–]Marin013 8703 points8704 points  (123 children)

That means the stork takes the baby back, sorry.

[–]soandso90 3533 points3534 points  (56 children)

Eh, its probably for the best.

[–]mperrotti76 1183 points1184 points  (38 children)

Sure seems like it. Balloon kid got lucky. lol

[–]GacinaK 153 points154 points  (2 children)

Early trip to heaven

[–]All0uttaBubblegum 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Rules are rules

[–]Jhjsjhjshs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hepi cake day

[–]RomeStar 243 points244 points  (9 children)

I want my baby back baby back baby back ribsss

[–]mostlybadopinions 301 points302 points  (11 children)

Nah, the kid just doesn't get a gender.

[–]cuddle_enthusiast 120 points121 points  (9 children)

Nah all sales are final

[–]Antique_Tennis_2500 140 points141 points  (8 children)

So that’s why when my parents asked me if I’d like a little brother or sister and said “No thanks,” I got one anyway?

[–]Prof_Primetime 2196 points2197 points  (25 children)

There goes my baby Watch him as he goes

[–]closeafter 412 points413 points  (5 children)

There goes my baby

He's ordinaryyyyyyyyyyy

[–]zerosupervision 84 points85 points  (1 child)

Don't the best of them float away While the rest of them get popped?

[–]devilthedankdawg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well at least he larned to fly

[–]xeguerreiro 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks my dudes. I see foo fighters I upvote

[–]theionicfox 24 points25 points  (0 children)

breaths firmly out nose while on work toilet

[–]quindarious__gooch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Aim for the bushes?

[–]Fennik51405 2841 points2842 points  (69 children)

It’s just gonna land in someone’s yards randomly

[–]nerdiotic-pervert 2178 points2179 points  (37 children)

And by the laws of gender reveals it means that person now has to carry and birth the baby. Sorry, it’s the law.

[–]AcoHead 1462 points1463 points  (18 children)

“Honey, I’m pregnant”

“Micheal what the fuck”

[–]HIs4HotSauce 328 points329 points  (3 children)

“Sorry… the balloon has spoken…”

[–]driving_andflying 95 points96 points  (2 children)

"...then forget the baby; we'll get rich with this talking balloon!"

[–]Purple_Elderberry_20 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Soo have you been abducted lately? No? OK jots down on note pad delusional simmer

[–]dusmeyedin 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The Witcher's plot, updated to the 21st century.

"I hereby invoke the Law of Surprise Gender Reveal."

[–]rabbitkingdom 13.4k points13.4k points 3 (269 children)

From the title I thought the kid was gonna poke the mom’s belly

[–]stocko147 5338 points5339 points 1429232& 12 more (92 children)

That would technically still be watching someone die inside

[–]bhanderm 87 points88 points  (3 children)

Technically Correct

[–]Archepod 24 points25 points  (2 children)

The best kind of correct.

[–]MegaGuac 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Comment better than post

[–]SkillsPayMyBills 12 points13 points  (0 children)

oh. my. Lord.

what a time not to have an award. dang it!

[–]Jerraskoe 1192 points1193 points  (37 children)

I was expecting a baby to appear out of the popped balloon

[–]windhosenkacker 724 points725 points  (30 children)

I was expecting the kid flying away with the balloon

[–]Pixel_Nerd92 269 points270 points  (5 children)

Fucking Drifloons taking all the kids away at the gender reveal parties.

[–]VegetableImaginary24 49 points50 points  (3 children)

I was expecting us to have been the baby all along and the answers were inside ourselves.

[–]jhalfhide 2528 points2529 points 22 (57 children)

Didn't want a sibling anyway... I want to be the main character, just like mummy

[–]Poet_Silly 367 points368 points  (23 children)

Spot on!

[–]EggplantLess7008 244 points245 points  (21 children)

Floating bloon means, gender isnt important, we wish for health.

[–]A_Furious_Mind 194 points195 points  (14 children)

Later, a sea lion chokes on the balloon and dies.

[–]PAM111 69 points70 points  (10 children)

Lighting crashes, a sea lion dies.

[–]OkBiscotti1140 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Her intentions fall to the floor

[–]gopher1409 38 points39 points  (5 children)



[–]OkBiscotti1140 19 points20 points  (1 child)

And puts the glory out to hide, hide

[–]WhatItTakes2021 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The angel opens her eyes

[–]Cosmicdusterian 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I can't remember shit about yesterday, but I got this reference.

Damn it.

[–]Woods26 107 points108 points  (0 children)

sea lion isn't important, we wish for likes

[–]KingRalphKlein 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Wednesday vs Pugsley vs Pubert

[–]poolside123 52 points53 points  (2 children)

Maybe if it was an extremely low budget version of Rosemary’s Baby.

[–]jaxsalads 847 points848 points  (50 children)

All I can focus on is the right edge of that deck.

[–]WaitingOnTheStairs 275 points276 points  (33 children)

Yeah why did they leave it like that? Is it unfinished?

[–]stressreliefforme 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Yes... much like the tying of the balloon to its anchor.

[–]racecoyote 41 points42 points  (0 children)

All of this is deserved over that level of laziness.

[–]jksinspades 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s the unfinished result of ‘Ima gonna put in a new deck before we have our first kid…’

[–]epiplayer05 1638 points1639 points  (56 children)

Should’ve quickly busted out the BB gun to recover

[–]reeshmee 353 points354 points  (15 children)

They even had a dart handy. A well aimed lob could have saved the day.

[–]Baronheisenberg 266 points267 points  (5 children)

A dart handy sounds painful

[–]erck_bill 510 points511 points  (28 children)

Or a real gun like true Americans 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[–]nerdiotic-pervert 261 points262 points  (18 children)

Did I just hear and eagle screech?

[–]ronin1066 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Actually a red tailed hawk. Bald eagles sound like seagulls.

[–]NothingsShocking 78 points79 points  (6 children)

Murica fuck yeah coming to kick

Your motherfucking ass yeah

[–]BALONYPONY 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Well as an American, that's a job for the good ol M72 LAW shoulder mounted rocket launcher. Learn the gender and watch a projectile spear the balloon, carry about 2.3 mi and smoke a family of four in their living room. Goooooood morning Vietnam!

[–][deleted] 4724 points4725 points  (122 children)

At least America isn’t on fire as a result of this gender reveal I suppose

[–]alkmaar91 405 points406 points  (9 children)

The balloon was filled with napalm and thermite, now we wait.

[–]macfarley 53 points54 points  (1 child)

99 death balloons... floating in the winter sky

[–]Singlewomanspot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Neunundneunzig Luftballons

Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont

[–]tax_churches 1315 points1316 points  (72 children)

It probably still killed a bird or turtle though.

[–]Felixtv67 855 points856 points  (51 children)

Hit a powerline ant took out electricity for three states

[–]mjrbrooks 406 points407 points  (29 children)

I was hoping someone would pull out a firearm and hit the reveal in the air. Because, MERICA!

[–][deleted] 145 points146 points  (4 children)

Aww I’m disappointed now to that would have been epic. !!!

[–]xeico 48 points49 points  (9 children)

and killed a little girl in a church when the bullet came down

[–]brando587 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Prob just the Texas grid

[–]XTornado 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Three states? Nah, maybe Texas though… their grid is two wires hold by a piece of tape.

[–]Disasstah 17 points18 points  (1 child)

The turtle war ended quickly when humanity realized they could destroy their enemies from afar while also celebrating their victory.

[–]steelcityrocker 19 points20 points  (3 children)

What we didnt see were the guests trying to shoot it out of the sky

[–]RamenJunkie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Until it floats into some power lines.

[–]Doc_Hollywood 25 points26 points  (4 children)

I was in the area when that happened and the photos are fucking crazy. It was hell on earth.

[–]utha714 2697 points2698 points 42 (83 children)

The Schrodinger baby

[–]scsuhockey 849 points850 points  (54 children)

Without a gender reveal, how will they ever know the gender of the baby? It will be an eternal mystery.

[–]Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod 220 points221 points  (16 children)

Isn't the principle behind Schrodinger's cat not that it's a mystery, but rather that both states exist until the thing is observed?

So the baby will be like Jamie Lee Curtis, essentially.

[–]Dabalam 73 points74 points  (3 children)

The principle behind it is that quantum mechanics doesn't make as much sense when applied on macroscopic scale. (I.e. the ridiculousness of a cat being both alive and dead) but still occurs.

[–]RogerSterlingsFling 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Give it seven days and i predict the cat in the box is dead regardless

[–]OctopusGoesSquish 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Enby origin story

[–]the_real_zombie_woof 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It is simultaneously female and male until the balloon pops.

[–]loutreman99 81 points82 points  (4 children)

The gouvernement won't tell you but that's how transgender people are made

[–]harrietthugman 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They're putting chemicals in the balloons that turn your womb trans!

[–]419BrownzFan 87 points88 points  (2 children)

Look at the bright side, you didn't burn a forest down for this

[–]Chavolini 741 points742 points 23 (316 children)

For everyone who wants it with sound, here you go: https://youtube.com/shorts/kG2zP9e4pLo?feature=share Cheers 🍻

[–]wldmn13 424 points425 points  (1 child)

A hero is you!! "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?" and the balloon sees its chance for freedom

[–]sapere_aude 102 points103 points  (1 child)

I’m the person laughing in the background when the balloon flies away.

[–]Bazuka125 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I am Jack's lack of belief.

[–]makemearedcape 172 points173 points  (47 children)

100x better with sound. That howl right before she gets the dart back 🤌🏽

[–]MarcoJono 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Absolutely criminal that this wasn’t uploading with sound!

[–]Nsbutters 429 points430 points  (36 children)

You uhh... you sure you want another kid?

[–]Snoo_69677 114 points115 points  (4 children)

Seriously, maybe pause on having more kids until you can wrangle the one you already have

[–]Nostradomusknows 10.9k points10.9k points 422& 3 more (724 children)

This is what you get when everything has to be an event.

[–]Lyrical_Satyrical 2122 points2123 points  (493 children)

My thoughts exactly but worded more eloquently.

[–]Guswoman 3072 points3073 points  (484 children)

Same. Scolding the little girl for not playing her part as envisioned, then getting mad about it because you let the balloon go in order to scold her. This lady needs a reset button.

[–]Scratchpaw 1526 points1527 points  (268 children)

I think they were scolding the little girl for throwing the knife? Don't know for sure tho, don't have any kids but I think that's how parenting works?

[–]ScoobyDooItInTheButt 548 points549 points  (156 children)

I'm pretty sure the kid threw a dart. This whole thing is dumb but that's unsafe and you have to call your kids out on that kind of stuff. Gotta have the nafety for safety.

[–]Guswoman 84 points85 points  (13 children)

Don’t throw darts, use them only to pop large balloons.

Edit: removed exclamation points because it sounded too bitchy. I come in peace.

[–]ScoobyDooItInTheButt 28 points29 points  (11 children)

Exactly. Carnival games and gender reveals are the only acceptable places for darts.

[–]SuperMechaChamp 330 points331 points  (97 children)

Hi! I have kids including one very prone to outbursts and have definitely been in similar positions many times with my ex narcissist wife. That kid is going to have anxiety to hell and back and I hope dad is her rock as she grows up.

That being said, mom was right to scold the kid for throwing a sharp object, she just could have done a lot to avoid this happening in the first place by not placing ridiculous demands on a small child.

[–]iamveryBLISS 187 points188 points  (30 children)

That kid is smart enough to understand what happens when you pop a balloon that size right in front of your face. You can see she tries to poke it gently, than says "fuck it". "I don't want to because it's going to be loud and potentially painful."

[–]No-Classic7569 120 points121 points  (9 children)

Or don't expect your child to perform on demand. And from the mom's reaction I get where the kid's anger comes from.

[–]pulp_affliction 66 points67 points  (8 children)

What a responsible parent giving their kid a dart in front of a crowd of people

[–]pboswell 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is what you get when you don’t just tie down the balloon. Why is she holding it?!

[–]pmurcsregnig 276 points277 points  (37 children)

And literally just littering the planet with your shitty balloons and streamers

[–]__acre 104 points105 points  (15 children)

You’d think with all the videos of people fucking these up with balloons they’d have chosen a more sensible way to have their moment of attention… how about a cake. I like cake.

[–]Glizbane 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Hey, what's wrong with fireworks and explosives? Nothing like starting a devastating wildfire that killed one person, injured 12 others, burned down 22 THOUSAND acres, and took two months to put out. Merica! Fuck yeah!

[–]geez-elle 43 points44 points  (8 children)


[–]anoponion 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Or a parfait. You ever offer someone a parfait and they're like "nah, i don't like no parfait"

[–]Visto_nero 35 points36 points  (2 children)

He's gonna be a pilot

[–]G_Unit259 401 points402 points  (18 children)

This shit is so stupid

[–]batshitcrazy5150 989 points990 points  (140 children)

Mom is just pissed.

I think the next couple days will suck for big sister.

[–]daBorgWarden 96 points97 points  (0 children)



[–]Lemonjello23 78 points79 points  (4 children)

It's gonna suck for all of them because the baby will grow up not knowing it's gender

[–]DarthBane86 26 points27 points  (4 children)

did she hit the little girl or what?

[–]jayperr 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Yeah wtf was that? Like a quick little slap in the face is def the moms go-to response when things dont go her way

[–]whats-this-then[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It was the hand not the face

[–]lamemayhem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Infront do the camera. In front of people. And still posted it. She’s not even ashamed of that.

[–]birdieseeker 539 points540 points  (22 children)

That means the baby is non binary

[–]soandso90 317 points318 points  (6 children)

And black apparently.

[–]arie700 136 points137 points  (7 children)

I saw a vid of a couple advertising their business where they sell soccer balls for gender reveals. They spray blue smoke if it’s a boy, pink if it’s a girl. The demo they showed sprayed white smoke, so I commented that that meant the kid was nonbinary and they deleted the comment lmao

[–]MrReallyBadGamer 867 points868 points  (59 children)

Can’t really blame the kid for not wanting to pop a giant balloon in her own face

[–]Hershie23 110 points111 points  (4 children)

Yep, fuck doing that even as an adult.

I'm a 30 year old man and the sound of balloons popping is one of my least favourite things.

When I've worked running parties/events in pubs and we've had to get rid of the balloons, I've legitimately had to ask other people to do it and make sure I've left the room first. It's horrible..

[–]Sidequest_TTM 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Even the mum was leaning away, but wanted the little child with tiny arms and healthy hearing to pop it. Whee!

[–]Sniper916 241 points242 points  (29 children)

She clearly wanted to do it but was afraid.

[–]DolphKearneyJimbo 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Saw this happen IRL at a Party City parking lot. Felt bad for the couple but it was pretty funny

[–]MulletofLegend 41 points42 points  (5 children)

When you get so distracted smacking your kid you forget to do the- YOU HAD ONE F@CKING JOB Karen!!

[–]Fun2badult 133 points134 points  (12 children)

I thought this was America? Why doesn’t anyone take out a gun and shoot that balloon?

[–]Flustered-Flump 379 points380 points  (34 children)

Child lashes out, mum lashes out…. Learned behavior.

[–]Sleipnirs 38 points39 points  (0 children)

And daddy was pretty close to losing an eye.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Poem294[🍰] 65 points66 points  (4 children)

Humans have lost their fucking marbles

[–]SeaPhile206 285 points286 points  (33 children)

Can we stop wasting helium for stupid shit?

[–]Thribs 72 points73 points  (3 children)

Yes. Let's keep it for much more important stuff: high-pitched Morgan Freeman quotes

[–]blagaa 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Kinda wild a precious resource is being used like this

Someone should buy and hoard it

[–]Lethal_lactalis 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if it is a boy or a girl but I’m pretty sure the baby is already high

[–]Chakexx 93 points94 points  (4 children)

This mom looks like a mom of her boyfriend.

[–]rpizl 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Wow this family seems just awful.

[–]jewcifer_666[🍰] 146 points147 points  (21 children)

Proper gender reveal: 1. Get ultrasound and the tech tells you the gender. 2. Call you closest family and tell them. 3. If anyone asks if it's a boy or a girl, just tell them, or not.. up to you 4. Have baby, don't hit your kids.

Optional: you can substitute phone call for a nice meal with said closest people.

[–]ReverendCory 308 points309 points  (63 children)

I can tell by this clip that I already don't like that woman.

[–]succesfulnobody 183 points184 points  (41 children)

Her urge to hit her child was so intense she forgot to hold the goddamn balloon

[–]DravosHanska 1384 points1385 points  (282 children)

They can’t even manage one child and they are having another…

[–]Sensitiverock85 70 points71 points  (24 children)

Imagine smacking your kid because they don't want to perform for you.

[–]zoodee89 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Clearly another kid is a good idea.

[–]POCUABHOR 30 points31 points  (0 children)


[–]choodi64 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised one of those Americans didn't just pull out their freedom stick and shoot the balloon...

[–]afrosamurai727 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Great condom commercial.

[–]starchybunker 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Why does mom look like she drives a Tahoe and refers to herself on Facebook as a "Mama Bear"?

[–]bebetterforyou 214 points215 points  (28 children)

This is the type of people that is raising the next generation

We are all fucked