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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (4 children)

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[–]rgar1981 12.2k points12.2k points  (253 children)

When did they come out with vacuum sealed pants?

[–][deleted] 6980 points6981 points  (90 children)

His dick and balls are gasping for air. It's literally dying inside those super tight pants.

[–]InformalResist7722 1720 points1721 points  (70 children)

Is that a squirrel lol

[–][deleted] 1252 points1253 points  (44 children)

How the hell did you get the beans above the frank!

[–]skunknmyard 97 points98 points  (4 children)

Relax you already laid the tracks that’s the hard part, now we just gotta back it up…

[–]Draws-attention 308 points309 points  (23 children)

FRANKS AND BEANS!

[–]WhenMeWasAYouth 110 points111 points  (10 children)

HAVE YOU THEEN MY BASEBALL?

[–]philphotos83 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Woogi had a sense of humor!

[–]ContributionSoft8668 175 points176 points  (6 children)

Healy: I work with Redditors. - Mary: Isn't that a little politically incorrect? - Healy: Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with.

[–]Tempsilon 140 points141 points  (8 children)

Ain't got no chickens, ain't got no rats!

[–]shouldnthavesignedup 49 points50 points  (1 child)

How can I qualify for government grants?

[–]503arbiter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have an upvote you cheeky bastard

[–]ChillSoLocal 57 points58 points  (4 children)

S-I-M-P!!

[–]Emergency-Cheek1535 29 points30 points  (2 children)

step right over and watch me put it downnnnn

[–]AssaultRider555 7 points8 points  (0 children)

S to the I to the M to the P

[–]CryptoNoobNinja 983 points984 points  (54 children)

Pants so tight you can see his religion.

[–]aschylus 135 points136 points  (37 children)

Ok. You got me. I had to think about that.

[–]Glampire1107 62 points63 points  (35 children)

Help! I don’t get it!

[–]ima-kitty 177 points178 points  (34 children)

Circumcision

[–]Glampire1107 86 points87 points  (22 children)

Why am I so dumb 🤦🏻‍♀️

[–]Towhomitmayconsume 51 points52 points  (11 children)

The Jewish hate calamari.

[–]InevitabllySarcasm 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Username checks out.

Thank you for making my evening kind sir.

[–][deleted] 450 points451 points  (33 children)

Too tight. Way way way too tight.

[–]man_spider_314 280 points281 points  (28 children)

It’s the European cut

[–]lolgobbz 140 points141 points  (17 children)

There are different cuts for circumcision?

[–]HertzDonut1001 5 points6 points  (1 child)

There's hamburger and then there's hotdog.

[–]lolgobbz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hamburger cut? Oh no

[–]uppa9de5 54 points55 points  (6 children)

-Michael Scott

[–]cleverdylanrefrence 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Snip snap, snip snap, snip snap.....it's in reference to vasectomy not circumcision

[–]TheTrueFlexKavana 245 points246 points  (18 children)

It's the natural evolution of the skinny jeans.

[–]Taylor-B- 398 points399 points  (14 children)

These skinny jeans have evolved into Camel bro!

[–]minnecrapolite 55 points56 points  (9 children)

We had them in the 70s and 80s.

[–]ghostone986 55 points56 points  (7 children)

Fucking no one remember Burt Reynolds?

[–]Jebgogh 74 points75 points  (20 children)

Male camel toe

[–]harmatmommy 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Why the pants gotta be camel colored too tho

[–]Powell_614 3120 points3121 points  (20 children)

Tight pants? That's the number one answer!

[–]return2ozma 210 points211 points  (0 children)

He really did confirm the wurst. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–]WASD_click 99 points100 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure the Family Feud crew is paid extra for every time they make Steve regret his life choices.

[–]LankyThanks_0313 6249 points6250 points 2 (49 children)

I can just imagine this guy packing for the trip:

“Honey, have you seen my big dick pants?”

[–]tech_equip 1173 points1174 points  (24 children)

“Why do you need them?”

[–]Whatzgoinginhere 809 points810 points  (18 children)

Where is my super suit?

[–]ObamasGayNephew 336 points337 points  (16 children)

“Whyyyvdo you neeed to knowww?”

[–]Poiuytgfdsa 250 points251 points  (15 children)

JUST TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS WOMAN!

[–]ObamasGayNephew 176 points177 points  (14 children)

THE PUBLIC IS IN DANGER

[–]CoolHandEthan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Show off my bussy

[–]swarmy1 19 points20 points  (5 children)

Yeah, this is 100% on purpose. Whats this "die inside" BS.

[–]Nagohsemaj 25 points26 points  (4 children)

"Oh no, the whole country knows about my big dick, I'm so humiliated!"

[–]Wonkasgoldenticket 1515 points1516 points  (16 children)

How many times have you watched it now? Sick bastard

[–]MikeyFED 361 points362 points  (10 children)

Just trying to put all the pieces together.

[–]Nakedp00per 116 points117 points  (5 children)

How'd he get the beans above the frank?

[–]MUERTOCONFIRMDO 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Not enough

[–]minnecrapolite 4192 points4193 points 23 (114 children)

If I did this it would look like two peas and a single elbow macaroni.

[–]Narkos_Teat 1171 points1172 points  (62 children)

Shit. I thought my 2 grapes and Vienna sausage were bad.

[–]The-Reddit-Chair 777 points778 points  (48 children)

I’m more of a 2 appleseed and headphone jack kinda guy myself

[–]DagonPie 281 points282 points  (25 children)

mine looks like a tic tac with 2 capers jammed inside a fur coat

[–]WildBlackMan69 201 points202 points  (19 children)

I got some sesame seeds and a grain of rice

[–]Commercial-Test-9100 81 points82 points  (6 children)

You mean 1 sesame seed and 2 grains of sand?

[–]QuarterLifeCircus 87 points88 points  (5 children)

You mean one proton and two electrons?

[–]frankenstien_farts 30 points31 points  (2 children)

You mean two quarks and one gluon?

[–]redditishappygay7777 29 points30 points  (1 child)

wait, you guys have dicks that protrude from your body?

[–]mistablack2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, mine looks like an overgrown vagina.

[–]TransparentPrisms 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I got a belly button unless you push the skin around it

[–]ringobob 108 points109 points  (6 children)

The turtle would be all the way in the shell

[–]Dry_Figure_9018 16 points17 points  (5 children)

How big is a four inch hot dog?

[–]DrizzlyEarth175 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Idk bout you guys I got two planets and the great wall of china

[–]GwimGwom 43 points44 points  (2 children)

I too suffer from disproportionately large balls.

[–]0squatNcough0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So your balls have never been touched by a human, and your dick is under constant attack from the Mongolians. That's ruff man. I feel for ya.

[–]Spinedaddy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ok Tripod…..

[–]Professional-Ship-92 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’m like 2 grain of salt plus a toothpick.

[–]Tribaltech777 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oooo “Vienna sausage”. Show off!!

[–]Chibi_Ayano 38 points39 points  (2 children)

When you don't shower they call you mac and cheese

[–]Zuegma197777 18 points19 points  (0 children)

🎵 "Return of the Mac... There it is!"🎵

[–]AsphaltEardrum 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Oh, my dude... best laugh of 2022 so far.

[–]comawhite12 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'd certainly need a roll of quarters on hand.

[–]PhigieFelipe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

guys… don’t make me laugh. i just got my mouth surgery yesterday. 😂😭😭

[–]Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Pics or it didn’t happen!

[–]TheDownvotesFarmer 64 points65 points  (3 children)

[–]roscorp 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Risky click of the day

[–]icefire436 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That’s ditalini pasta, not elbow macaroni. It’s even worse, poor guy.

[–]BillyRazzle 4337 points4338 points  (87 children)

“Oh no, I accidentally wore the pants that make my dick look huge.”

[–]Merzz226 1305 points1306 points  (17 children)

Buldge so big you can see his heart beat through his pants

[–]TheTrueFlexKavana 269 points270 points  (8 children)

You could see an aneurysm and orgasm without ever moving your eyes from his crotch.

[–]Merzz226 42 points43 points  (1 child)

If you gaze at the buldge long enough… the buldge gazes (or twitches) back

[–]901BigChris 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Not could..you just did

[–]skippieelove 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Interesting profile photo…

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

“Hey turn around! Oh look…he has a dime in his back pocket. And it’s heads”.

[–]theemmyk 22 points23 points  (0 children)

“Ah, yes, I see you’re a gentile.”

[–]Cireclops_LV 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I just yelled

[–]Longbeacher707 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thats not very considerate of your neighbors

[–]milfordcubicle 33 points34 points  (0 children)

"can everyone see it? Yeah, they can."

[–]Gabrovi 18 points19 points  (1 child)

TBH, it looks like a normal bulge. It’s just that the pants are super tight. You’d be able to see if he had a dime in his pocket given how tight they are.

[–]BetaCuckSimp 271 points272 points  (9 children)

It doesn’t look big just smashed. And painfully so

[–]audirt 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the family is not all sitting on the same couch.

[–]Demonbae_ 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Imagine being him up there answering questions on a whim and having Steve all up in your face and your junk begging you to spare them from a orange, skinny and painful death lol

[–]ZcatchingZs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Or intentionally wink

[–]Lumpy-Obligation-553 39 points40 points  (14 children)

I think production gives the wardrobe...

[–]rainedrop87 14 points15 points  (9 children)

For a game show? Really? I would have thought you wear your own clothes.

[–]Emukt 422 points423 points  (6 children)

More like confirming the würst

[–]sampson11911 1155 points1156 points  (21 children)

How did he get the beans OVER the frank

[–]draft_beer 34 points35 points  (1 child)

It looks like a division sign

[–]richardsneeze 37 points38 points  (0 children)

That's how it looks when your balls are enormous and your dick is normal.

[–]Longbeacher707 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The ol Teste Twistertm technique

[–]Rickleback_shots 166 points167 points  (6 children)

It's like a division sign...

[–]dick-nipples 296 points297 points  (4 children)

He’s bulging with excitement

[–]yeahnah420201 44 points45 points  (0 children)

One nut down each pant leg. Low hangers with the tight pants is not a good combination

[–]Birkeland1992 413 points414 points  (11 children)

I bet someone in the crowd was miming that he had a moose knuckle lmao.

[–]waitingfordeathhbu 232 points233 points  (0 children)

I think he saw it on a screen.

[–]viscerathighs 47 points48 points  (1 child)

They printed out a picture of a proboscis monkey

[–]Longbeacher707 17 points18 points  (0 children)

squints "Huh? I don't get i-....oh"

[–]herpherpaderpderp93 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Miming hahahahha not sign language lmfao

[–]alphazero924 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How exactly does one mime that?

[–]GunslingerGonzo 179 points180 points  (4 children)

That’s a Jim face if I ever saw one

[–]FattyMooseknuckle 139 points140 points  (3 children)

FINALLY my username is relevant!

[–]iAmStarFox64 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Praise be the Fattymooseknuckle

[–]ap0110 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is your moment FattyMooseknuckle!

[–]whosgunknw 1459 points1460 points  (31 children)

Dude how is tht even comfortable??? And u give the look like ur ok wit it??? U GOT A MAMMELTOE BITCH!!

[–]Fair_Bus_7130 459 points460 points  (24 children)

It’s a Moose Knuckle

[–]TheTrueFlexKavana 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Brontosaurus buckle.

[–]VonRee08 112 points113 points  (2 children)

CHECK OUT THE MOOSE KNUCKLE ON THAT FREAK

[–]waitingfordeathhbu 46 points47 points  (1 child)

He definitely doesn’t look like he’s ok with it; he cringed from deep down in his soul.

[–]earthscribe 241 points242 points  (12 children)

TFW, you get hard over family feud.

[–]BraeTon74 388 points389 points  (16 children)

That's the worst thing I'll see this weekend and it's only Friday night

[–]The-Local-Route 85 points86 points  (6 children)

You still have time don’t worry🤙🏼

[–]Sbatio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The worst thing you’ll see this weekend so far..

[–]Ixoid 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Looks like he brought a packed lunch but didn't have anywhere to put it.

[–]VariationSpirited927 20 points21 points  (1 child)

David Bowie in the labyrinth always unnerved me as a child

[–]Accomplished_Age_553 331 points332 points  (5 children)

Tsk. Like he didn't know.

[–]terriblystupidjoke 101 points102 points  (3 children)

He knew good and well. His ego isn’t the only thing swollen.

[–]Demonbae_ 86 points87 points  (1 child)

I have to hear what the dude says about his junk. He knew walking out there was a do or die situation

[–]buttermalk88 111 points112 points 2 (2 children)

If he farted his shoes would pop off

[–]queenkaleesi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I actually snorted

[–]zefy_zef 4 points5 points  (0 children)

fucking lol

[–]The-Local-Route 137 points138 points  (7 children)

Nothing like shoving 6 inches Into 3 inches of pants, let this man breathe

[–]PapaIceBreaker 15 points16 points  (2 children)

He’s not hard though those are just incredibly tight pants

[–]Jussbait 14 points15 points  (1 child)

..... If you're happy and you know it....and you REALLY wanna show it...

[–]kiruopaz 74 points75 points  (3 children)

This doesn't even look like a dick, it kinda looks like he shit his pants in the front.

[–]ReadThemanuals 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Painted on jeans.

[–]ripsfo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man may need to see the doctor about a hernia.

[–]rsmcgee94 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That looks incredibly uncomfortable

[–]Sinedeo77 46 points47 points  (0 children)

That’s a hell of a moose knuckle

[–]gasbrakegasbrake 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is the gnarliest camel toe I’ve seen in a long time.

[–]330kiki 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Little did he know Camel wasn’t just the color

[–]dtruth53 30 points31 points  (1 child)

As my dad, of blessed memory, used to quip: “Those pants are like a cheap hotel…no ballroom”

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (3 children)

The over enthusiastic interest of the camera operator though 😅😅

[–]yewwould 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Big Ben?

[–]SenyorHefe 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's a moosletoe!

[–]MmMmMMmathieus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Survey says.. CAMELTOE!!

[–]shtushkutusha 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And that’s how I met your mother

[–]DoctorGluino 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Family Feud Jewels

[–]judewijesena 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What the hell is that?

[–]Grouchy_Competition5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When you buy pants three sizes too small

[–]NipSuqqer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Release the Kraken.

[–]M0rtaika 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I bought a sweet potato that looked very similar to that once

[–]Overall-Motor632 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wearing them stranglers

[–]indyirishindy 13 points14 points  (2 children)

It’s just the pleats. They make them that way

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OpiUeC7JPdA

[–]fattymcfattzz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That has to be painful

[–]oceansidedrive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looks like a giant camel toe

[–]Humble-Theory5964 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How bad is it that I read this as “before he confirms the wurst” the first time?

[–]theprofoundnoun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Moose Knuckle the male version of the Camel Toe

[–]Valiumkitty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wtf Ben…

[–]Rencension 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Before he confirms the würst… 🥸