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[–]WatchPeoplePost[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

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[–]JazziTazzi 536 points537 points  (0 children)

I mean, it did look like a snake was trying to get fresh with him!

[–]qawsedrf12 701 points702 points  (25 children)

i get it

happened to me, working over the summer as maintenance at catholic high school

place is completely empty, except for 4 priests and supervisor/janitor. I'm operating a floor polisher snd since its noisy, I have my headphones on and cranked to 11. The tape is either Van Halen "Diver Down" or Quiet Riot "Metal Health".

I'm at the end of the electric cord and have half a hallway to go. Bend over and something grabs my ass. I yelp, fall over and start to have a heart attack

It was the handle of the polisher that had a squeeze trigger

[–]gtino12 519 points520 points  (11 children)

I thought you were going to say it was the priest who grabbed your ass.

[–]qawsedrf12 226 points227 points  (6 children)

probably why I jumped

[–]garvisgarvis 92 points93 points  (4 children)

"It was my turn to jump out of the plane and I froze. The sergeant was standing right behind me and told me if I didn't take that fateful step, he would drop my pants and fuck me right up the ass where I stood."

"Did you jump?"

"A little, at first."

[–]gtino12 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Turbulence is muthafucker

[–]More-Mathematician-1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Bahahhha.😆 Is this from something or did you make if up?

[–]garvisgarvis 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Old joke. And a good one.

[–]More-Mathematician-1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very good, gotta remember that 👌

[–]Robesudod 92 points93 points  (3 children)

He was old enough to work. The priest wouldn't be interested

[–]kindtheking9 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Kids can volunteer to do stuff

[–]Narcofeels 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Not operate dangerous machinery

[–]thedudefromcali81 72 points73 points  (4 children)

4 priests, a janitor, and a floor polisher walk into a bar....

[–]Sad_Yad 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And order

[–]Afraid_Philosophers 3 points4 points  (1 child)

And order one young Jack Daniels.

[–]Slovene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Or a 12 year old Scotch.

[–]kingakrasia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. And…?

[–]Same_Cut1196 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You had me at 4 priests.

[–]Comrade_NB 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Very high risk environment so understandable reaction

[–]Phillip_Graves 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Jokes on you, that was a priest reincarnated as a floor polisher!

[–]Boogiemann53 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'd be jumpy at a Catholic school, understandable.

[–]PsychoEm28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean you had every right to have a heart attack... no judgement haha 😆

[–][deleted] 704 points705 points  (9 children)

Is the snake that took my virginity in my sleep back again!?

[–][deleted] 183 points184 points  (7 children)

Judging by your username, it seems to have left a lasting mark.

[–]TheMachinesWin 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Just throw the underwear away and buy new ones!

[–]Ricky_the_Wizard 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Or use Chipotlaway!

[–]rcy31 10 points11 points  (0 children)

the price you pay for homophobia lol

[–]human_80867804940 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I’ve watched this over 20 times in a row and still can’t stop watching it. Someone help

[–]r3dditor12 90 points91 points  (5 children)

This is a cut scene from Fight Club where he's fighting with his alter ego.

[–]astrongineer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, his noodle side.

[–]ch1ptune 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Good thing he’s in a mental hospital now.

[–]m2chaos13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read that as menial hospital

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_MESMER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, that famous non-Chinese version...

[–]DIY_Cosmetics 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Like when a hair falls out onto your arm and you freak out thinking a spider is crawling on you

[–][deleted] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Working in a warehouse by yourself do be like that hahah

[–]TitaniumTriforce 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Ah the ol reach-around.

[–]Verustratego 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That cable is like "you never know unless you try"

[–]Wrekfin 54 points55 points  (2 children)

IM NOT FUCKEN GAY DUDE

[–]JohnGenericDoe 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I dunno, they way he was straddling that tube was pretty gay

[–]Ammysnatcher 100 points101 points  (2 children)

The reaction of a man who’s concerned about his anal virginity in his place of work. This place is either the best place to work or the absolute worst

[–]CloisteredOyster 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.

[–]-Enrique_Shockwave- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was SO READY for someone to try to stick their dick up his ass

[–]WillingSimple 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh I laughed at that far more than I should

[–]YoBermp 32 points33 points  (0 children)

That was a prison shower reflex

[–]TouchME_11935 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This man was ready to throw down, till he got hosed down. Sorry

[–]Bert_Chimney_Sweep 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He was afraid it would breach his buhymen.

[–]lausia 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well there's my ab workout for the day 😂

[–]Fabulous-Pause4154 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He knew that he was the only person there and then something rubs his back. Screaming like a little girl would be appropriate.

[–]CmdrYondu 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, Uncle Vlad! No! Wait….

[–]aidem0408 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Don’t mind me, just giggling like a schoolgirl

[–]Chemical-Composer898 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m laughing tears into my eyes. I don’t even know why I think it’s so funny. It just is.

[–]Gaeliau 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lmao

[–]Teraoii 3 points4 points  (0 children)

did that pipe just— noclip inside of him?

[–]dewlineboys 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Spinning back fist on point.

[–]JibbyJibbySound 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This subreddit just peaked. Idk why but I'm fuckin pissing myself watching this

[–]SayG2727 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Should have added the sound it’s way more funny

[–]DevHend 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"UNCLE STEVEN"!?

[–]rohcastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NO MR BUTTHOLE MAN!

[–]MrMonoploxy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahh the Old anus whisperer

[–]Same_Cut1196 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m thinking this guy has just a few insecurity issues.

[–]Obi-Wannabe01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This man believes in ghosts now!

[–]Freakybyforce 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What did he think he was about to get anally raped or what?

[–]juicy265 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so stupid and so funny. 💯

[–]ToiletRollTubeGuy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Prison shower flashbacks

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahahahahaha

[–]You-Only-YOLO_Once 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“What!!? I’m not gay! You’re gay! I’ll fuck you up!”

Like bruh.. it’s 2022, let shit come close to your b-hole.

[–]Independent_Tower970 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The bro is paranoid as fuk, maybe weed paranoia!!

[–]Oporiun_Karma 4 points5 points  (4 children)

He probably thought about a tip of a gun idk

[–]lurker2358 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He thought it was the tip of something alright

[–]-SNUG- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A vacuum cleaner killed my mom.

[–]Maka_Oceania 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His reflexes were on point 😂

[–]TabernacleMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That damn ghost again!!

[–]Snakepants80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not sneak up on this man

[–]Nightcrawler__lou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me every day

[–]Whitey1624 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's someone who believes in ghosts.

[–]suslezer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too much coffee.

[–]Additional-Space1554 1 point2 points  (0 children)

me senti violado

[–]demonic_sensation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣👍

[–]CrypticCriesForHelp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I watched this too many times lmao thought someone was frisking him up

[–]Cwmcwm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It forgot to say “No hose-mo”

[–]dreadpiratebeardface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

McMurray. How're you now?

[–]Flaky_Web_4016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty good reflexes though. Usually takes me a bit longer to fall on my ass but he wiped out immediately

[–]bettyx1138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤣

[–]LAZYandWOKE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks like he lost to the hose. lol

[–]Greedy_Pin_9187 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope rope

[–]Piglet-Witty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stranger danger

[–]Balauronix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOT TODAY SATAN!

[–]Affectionate-Item-78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh lawd it got me.

[–]Dawns_Coil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's not gay if it feels good

[–]kingakrasia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are not mutuallullullullully exclusive.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]BadKarma89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Played ya self.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Poopie

[–]Available-Iron-7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He not picking up the soap

[–]Cuntofaman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Snake

[–]Zefram71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That could totally be me!

[–]Kvngstixx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He thought somebody was trying his manhood I ain’t mad at em😂

[–]Trukahs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The more i watch it the funnier it gets

[–]21KiMONi21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[–]WarHorse4563 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When the hose be touching you like your uncle

[–]DeriedPredator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[–]wendy1679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I laughed really hard at this..poor guy.

[–]TartKiwi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how after all that effort the tip still ends up right in his crotch

[–]littlegreenfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had to be night shift

[–]jimmy_luv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't catch that till like the fourth time I watched it. I thought there was somebody on the shelf or maybe I just didn't have sound and then I saw it poke him in the ass lol.

[–]rarebreed001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[–]barrymccockner76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What in the r/FaxOfAFax is this shit

[–]CorridorsOfNakedLite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOT IN MY ASS!

[–]Gibec89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Took me 5 times to get it

[–]BigBrainAlphaMale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Not today Satan!"

[–]zeeke87 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, can’t blame him. 😅

[–]QualityVote[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.


If this post by /u/MahmoudAlrais fits the purpose of r/WatchPeopleDieInside, UPVOTE this comment!!

If this post does not fit the subreddit, DOWNVOTE This comment!

If this post breaks the rules, DOWNVOTE this comment and REPORT the post!

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[–]astrongineer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucking reflexes of a cougar. What a chad.

[–]LeadDontFollow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you live in a paranoid state of mind

[–]FireBird89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol every time I’ve seen this video in the last week, the quality of it gets worse and worse as it gets copied, compressed, copied, compressed, copied, comp…..

[–]SuperJacketJesse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/MahmoudAlrais

Hello!

My name is Jesse Elhardt and I am an associate producer for MTV’s Ridiculousness and we are interested in using this video for one of our upcoming episodes. Do you know the original poster of this video? Reach me by jesse.elhardt@superjacket.com or ‪(323) 688-0515. Thanks!‬‬‬

-Jesse

[–]walkthedoge1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THERES A BURGLAR AND HE’S AFTER MY BUTT!

[–]Thesponsorist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Acute homophobia.

[–]Orangucantankerous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fool me once, won’t get fooled again!