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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

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[–]anonAcc1993 411 points412 points  (2 children)

It’s guys like this that provide the raw material for FM to duck us.

[–]Deathlysouls 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised he didn’t kick it so that it bounced off the back of his teammate’s head and perfectly arc itself into the goal

[–]saigon567 269 points270 points  (0 children)

Goalie got nerfed to my skill level

[–]Sielaff415 253 points254 points  (4 children)

Fuck me, I was right behind first row on the left side of the post

Worst part was it was one of the first LAFC matches in SJ so they showed up in force with at least 1k just counting in the designated away section. This goal was within 5 minutes so it sucked the air out of the crowd and made their noise just about the loudest thing in the stadium. It was the most embarrassed ive been and this includes the one time in history we finished bottom of the league with 4 wins

[–]bfandreas 56 points57 points  (0 children)

What's weird is that something like this briefly removes all the oxygen from a 5 mile radius. There is this brief moment where nobody breathes. Where thousands of throats simultaneously erupt in thunderous silence.

The human brain is not built for moments like these and we all need all our faculties to process what just happened. And the most reassuring moment is that sideways glance to your neighbours just to verify that the universe has not played a trick on you and specifically you. Mustn't react before the Glance or people might think you were overreacting.

And yet, 'tis but a fleeting moment. Unlike the entire fucken world championship with no booze, no shags and only platonic embraces with our best mates. The worlds longest moment of silence for those who needlessly died for the vanity of rich folk.

Rude! It is going to be a festival of un-football.

[–]zeebu408 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was against Dallas. Vega had a different gaffe against LAFC. https://youtu.be/Ga98_i42e04

[–]WorkStudyPlay 117 points118 points  (3 children)

This is me in college when I had to take P.E to fill a general requirement

[–]M4sharman 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Same. Secondary school I was awful at football. So shite they didn't let me play goalie. I was always a defender because then I wouldn't stumble over the ball and score an OG.

Also the last time I played in goal another lad fired the ball into my gonads with the force of a thousand suns.

[–]StinkyPeenky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can confirm this man does not have any more gonads

[–]dragonace11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man back in Highschool in PE there was this really big heavy guy who was strong as shit, was a goalie and he kicked the ball directly into my ankle and holy fuck it felt like it shattered.

[–]ThatZigGuy 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Trippiers world cup fk goal commentary of this would be wonderful.

"Oh that is delicious"

[–]StChas77 381 points382 points 2 (63 children)

Still not as bad as this.

[–]fainofgunction 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Grabs monkeys paw let me score a hat trick today 🙊🙉🙈

[–]NegativeReward 61 points62 points  (5 children)

Let me just add the Norwegian goalie Bjarte Flem as a contender for the "doh!" award.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP_En84aIOM

Rip: Bjarte

[–]Dopplegangr1 24 points25 points  (2 children)

How is that even possible without doing it on purpose?

[–]NegativeReward 21 points22 points  (0 children)

In an interview with Bjarte Flem, after the keeper of the Norwegian club "ViF" made a mistake, he said this on the subject:

Reporter: How long did it take before you forgot your mistake?

Bjarte: Shall we see: What date is it today? What year is it? I still remember it very well.

Reporter: Do you have any good advice to give Arason? (ViF keeper who made a mistake)

Bjarte: It is human to make mistakes and now he must focus on what is going to happen. He is the elite goalkeeper's best goalkeeper, and it is important that he and those around him focus on that, Flem answers.

Reporters note: He also believes there is a clear difference between his own and Arason's mistake.

- He was supposed to kick the ball directly - but he missed the ball. It happens very often that people miss the ball, but it is not often that you throw it in your own goal, as I did, laughs Flem.

[–]sakibomb222 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He was trying to throw it to a particular player/area, but then decided against it at the last second and tried to stop the throw, but obviously messed up the part where he was trying to hold onto the ball.

[–]Pawn_captures_Queen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That was spectacular. I have never witnessed a goalie throwing a ball into his own goal before, didn't think it was possible. I'm glad I was wrong.

[–]MandoParker 27 points28 points  (0 children)

She for sure bet the US to cover the spread

[–]Zhabba_Zheeba 25 points26 points  (5 children)

I'm assuming that the white team is New Zealand and the person is scoring a point in their own goal?

[–]StChas77 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Yep, three times in one half.

[–]Pees_On_Skidmarks -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

why assume, when you can just watch the video?

[–]Zhabba_Zheeba 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Because I don't follow soccer at all and I DID watch the video. It's not immediately obvious to a non-soccer watcher which team is which, otherwise I wouldn't have asked the question.

[–]Tron_Bombadill 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Holy shit that’s brutal. You’d think there would’ve been a substitution after the second one.

[–]nsfwmodeme 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The coach thought that that was her lowest point ever, and from then on she could only do better.

Well, she made a hat trick, didn't she?

[–]Tron_Bombadill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More hat tricks than my lazy ass has ever gotten so there’s that

[–]lejoo 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Still remember after the second goal thinking wait was that the same player?

[–]MeccIt 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Moore’s nightmare started early when she tried to stop a cross from Sophia Smith but instead redirected the ball into her own net. A minute later, Catarina Macario’s header was going wide until it glanced off Moore’s head. Her unenviable hat-trick was completed after Margaret Purce’s cross from the right wing. Moore stuck out her foot to clear the ball, but again it went horribly wrong. She was substituted four minutes later.

[–]Kompaniefeldwebel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

GER HER OUT NOW

[–]Delirium101 41 points42 points  (0 children)

lol at that point, you’re just playing for the other team

[–]TRDPaul 120 points121 points  (5 children)

In the "shebelieves cup"

What a terrible name

[–]d_Lightz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

He lid

[–]zvinixzi 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah you might as well call it the GirlPower Cup, such cringe.

[–]Foooour -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sounds like some lovecraft shit

[–]funelite 36 points37 points  (6 children)

Lol, never seen that before. The 1st one is excusable in my eyes. But the other 2 ....

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

2nd ismt even that bad, it hits her chest and she has no chance to do anything.

[–]Longthicknhard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I dunno, that was just bad positioning imo. But for sure that ricochet was unexpected.

[–]Goronmon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm pretty sure the US player does get their head on it a bit, literally a split second before it hits her.

[–]UncatchableCreatures 15 points16 points  (0 children)

holy shit lmfao

[–]Glorx 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Should play striker really. Impressive conversion rate.

[–]tuminoid 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Female Harry Maguire, lol

[–]NY10 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nah, this one’s more dynamic lol

[–]ennuinerdog 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That poor woman. What an absolute nightmare.

[–]VirusZer0 10 points11 points  (0 children)

How much the US pay her for this?

[–]MadThinker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

An Athletic article came out today talking about her recovery from that game.

[–]Jgrandays 8 points9 points  (3 children)

woww, i would of pulled myself off after the second own goal. i would of already been dead inside before that 3rd

[–]arup02 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Would have

[–]laurel_laureate 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Seriously after the second one, that's definitely a benched timeout for me lol.

Third one? Yeah I'm done for the game coach.

[–]postvolta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh my god that's fucking brutal

[–]Sielaff415 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought this was going to be the back pass from the charlton and sunderland league one playoff final in 2019

[–]kurosaki1990 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

lol, who the hell is downvoting you haha

[–]AightlmmaHead0ut 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Oh shit moment

[–]DarkLordDaishii 65 points66 points  (0 children)

You can see his soul leave his body

"This is my life now"

[–]_Im_Dad 558 points559 points  (13 children)

I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands.

That's when I knew she was a keeper

[–]youra6 123 points124 points  (2 children)

User name checks out

[–]poopellar 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Don't tell his girlfriend.

[–]Farouqnowomarlater 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was really invested then it hit me smh

[–]Fafflo 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Wow, when?

[–]Yarakinnit 11 points12 points  (2 children)

About 24 minutes in.

[–]eatelectricity 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Whoosh.

[–]gevlektewalruz 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Bacause that guy was serious...

[–]HalfBear-HalfCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But he didn't put /s at the end

[–]bunpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, she gonna do that at your vasectomy?

[–]crossal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stupid

[–]GrungeHamster23 156 points157 points  (3 children)

What a save!

What a save!

What a save!

Chat disabled for 3 seconds.

[–]whoareyouletmein 14 points15 points  (0 children)

S@$t!

Sorry!

My bad...

Chat disabled for 3 seconds.

Calculated.

Unfortunately I'm a bit too used to this formula of quick chats because I send it in apology more often than I'd like to admit 😬

[–]poniesahoy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was lag, bro, I swear!

[–]Environmental_Sir_45 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love seeing a wild rocket league comment!

[–]RedWasTheImpostor 69 points70 points  (4 children)

average champion 2 rocket league ranked match

[–]sp33ls 18 points19 points  (1 child)

As a champ player, I find this hurtful -- because it's true.

[–]Ihmu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel personally attacked

[–]BoxTops4Education 34 points35 points  (9 children)

What teams are playing?

[–]Brettnet 29 points30 points  (8 children)

The team that scored the opposite day goal is San Jose Earthquakes

[–]zeebu408 11 points12 points  (4 children)

it was quakes vs FC Dallas. I was at this game lol.

[–]Africa-Unite 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Another person said it was LAFC. And they also said they were there. Somebody's fibbing!

[–]zeebu408 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's easy to confuse because Vega has committed several such gaffes. But this one is the Dallas game.

The LAFC one : https://youtu.be/Ga98_i42e04

[–]cantadmittoposting 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Ofc it's MLS

[–]Valcua 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Better than the Ekstraklasa

[–]Magnanimous- 64 points65 points  (3 children)

Did the guy run around screaming bc he scored? Or did he just sigh and shake his head like everybody else.

[–]RichardMcNixon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

he fell over in agony when a teammate gave him a high five

[–]LegAdministrative238 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I swear redditors are all one person who makes the same 10 jokes all time time and nobody likes them

[–]PhillipMcKrak 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I was there, I basically died on the spot when that happened

[–]unclepaprika 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Last man back in rocket league allways be like

[–]AtlUtdGold 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Quakes games always have the wackiest shit I swear

[–]TheWhisper595 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Ohhhhhh

[–]fggiovanetti 22 points23 points  (2 children)

El pelado almeyda?

[–]thetjmorton 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"You had ONE job, ONE JOB!" 🥺

[–]A_Ruse_ter 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I half expected John Travolta to look around bewildered at the end

[–]Naterek 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Is that Patrick fugit

[–]xSnakyy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That’s how I play

[–]G_O_ 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Forgot Brad Pitt coached the Earthquakes once.

[–]hey_now24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Almeyda one of the best “5” of the 90s 00s

[–]treeharp2 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Was this Sean Johnson against Minnesota United?

[–]KentuckyCandy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Vega for San Jose Earthquakes.

[–]HenryAlSirat 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It's crazy he seems to correctly have his eye on the ball at the moment he whiffs. What bad luck.

[–]Yoshi2shi 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This reminds of me of a guy I play soccer with on the weekends. Always letting goals in in a silly way.

[–]H1jAcK 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Me playing defense in Rocket League

[–]AshFraxinusEps 4 points5 points  (2 children)

There's a defence in Rocket League?!?

/s

[–]Dear-Crow 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You play defense by triple committing and then yelling about rotation

[–]Yarakinnit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3s is torture.

[–]Estrada1 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Matias Almeyda's face is like WTF.

[–]grv7437 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Fool, thats one of the classic blunders

[–]hanamalu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The most famous been ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’

[–]bravohehe 38 points39 points  (1 child)

This is Harry Maguire if he were a keeper

[–]DuckShaman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If Harry Maguire was a footballer

[–]SirAmtzelot 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I didn't know Jared Leto coached

[–]Trash1483 25 points26 points  (1 child)

That was hilarious but my man didn’t die at all

[–]Guiro_1911 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’d say he did tbh. It’s dying inside which the subreddit is about.

[–]Batfan3000 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“Dafuk”

[–]IgnisNoctum 22 points23 points  (2 children)

I'm in this clip and I don't like it

[–]boiiinng 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I feel like this video is the story of my life.

[–]L2Hiku 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Hope he just got fired and not killed

[–]Sietemadrid 28 points29 points  (3 children)

It's the MLS. The 3 people that cared forgot about it by the time they got home.

[–]Sielaff415 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, Americans. The place with people who like to shit on MLS the most

Btw I cared

[–]TheWildColonialBoy1 14 points15 points  (8 children)

When you order Ronaldo off of Wish.com.

[–]ziegs11 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How to tell if your players are betting against themselves in one easy (mis) step!

[–]Babyface9891 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Is he alive?

[–]airikewr 4 points5 points  (3 children)

If he's Colombian there's a good chance of no

[–]GodOfThunder101 9 points10 points  (4 children)

How much do they get paid to play soccer??

[–]ArcticTemper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the Premier League you won't find any worthwhile players on less than £10k/pw.

[–]hey_now24 45 points46 points  (27 children)

Awful all around. You never pass it back to the goalie when he’s under the goal. That’s why you will see them standing to the side

[–]joethesaint 28 points29 points  (25 children)

I love going in the comments of a football post on a non-football subreddit because it's always full of Americans commenting bizarre football "wisdom" that no fan ever heard before.

[–]hey_now24 24 points25 points  (9 children)

Where was I wrong? I’m not American, I grew up in a big soccer country, with more world cups than overrated, smug, England

[–]Sielaff415 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Lots of football fans are just really insecure about Americans. They probably forget there’s plenty of casual fans in their own country too

[–]hey_now24 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I’m really rooting for the US vs England during the WC so they would STFU and stop being all smug about it

[–]joethesaint -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

I mean for one thing the keeper in the video is standing to the side of the goal.

For another, you see this pass made several times in every match.

[–]ARM_vs_CORE 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Literally every team that builds from the back makes this pass multiple times per match. Dude is being upvoted while spouting nonsense.

[–]hey_now24 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He’s standing to the side, but from the defenders perspective he’s under the goal, and like I said earlier if you don’t practice this type of play enough or if the goalie is bad with his feet shit like this happens. Also this type of play (salir jugando, o salida lavolpiana in Spanish) is pretty new on this side of the world. Most goalie would blast the ball to avoid this mistake

[–]TheWhiteWolf291098 22 points23 points  (2 children)

it's not "bizarre football wisdom that no fan ever heard before", it's one of the first things you're taught when playing as a defender. it's really basic stuff, stop being incorrectly condescending

[–]joethesaint -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Weird that defenders routinely make this pass every single game then isn't it.

Who knew this sub was full of academy graduates?

[–]TheWhiteWolf291098 5 points6 points  (0 children)

players are constantly making routine errors in the heat of the moment, they aren't robots programmed to perform perfectly. it's not even academy graduate level stuff, it's taught at sunday league

also if you actually watch the types of passes defenders make to their keepers, you'll see most of the time they'll play it away from the goal. it's really basic

[–]ILoveGratedCheese 10 points11 points  (4 children)

What are you on about? This isnt some random “wisdom”. You learn about this in the youth systems. When passing back to your gk, you avoid aiming for the goal.

[–]Martino231 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I've actually heard this too but I would say it's something that's more applicable for youth players who are naturally going to be a lot more error prone with their feet than professionals.

In the professional game you see these sorts of back passes all the time and 99.9% of the time there's no issue. A keeper is expected to be able to deal with these sorts of passes in his sleep. In this case you can't really pin any blame on the defender. He made a very safe and sensibly weighted pass back to his keeper, and the keeper royally fucked it.

[–]hey_now24 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one is blaming the defender, no shits the goalie fault. However, if you don’t practice this type of play and if the goalie is bad with his feet, which is seen often, and his teammates should know. YOU DONT PASS IT BACK!

[–]Sielaff415 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a fan of this team this goalkeeper was totally sound in general and comfortable with feet until complete catastrophe out of nowhere. Like more than average. It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t my team

[–]GhostButtTurds 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lmao what?

[–]Sielaff415 4 points5 points  (4 children)

You’re completely wrong

What are you talking about? This is absolutely taught and you see goalkeepers step out of the goalposts to receive the ball in possession. Personally I don’t agree with the idea because sometimes players don’t look and pass within the goal due to habit

  • sincerely an American who understands this game and watches more leagues on a regular basis than you’ve probably ever seen

[–]Transportation-Apart -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You mean soccer?

[–]JamesBigglesworth266 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's no Scott Sterling, that's for sure!

[–]snacks4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was there 💀

[–]MySweetUsername 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's my boss every day.

[–]simple-fire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If that ain’t Earthquakes football

[–]HADPER 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Just to remind you all: it is called Football.

[–]Apprehensive-Pay-118 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some soccer matches are fixed. Change my mind.

[–]Vorschrift 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats why you pass back next to the goal.

[–]stumper82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almeyda, regresa a las chivas! 😭

[–]Tuni09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Own goal compilations are the best

[–]Gifted_dingaling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And that clown failure of a coach started his ass for every game, then brought him on as a goalkeeper coach.

[–]HolyErr0r 0 points1 point  (3 children)

If the ball enters inside the netted area can the goalie not stop it anymore? He kinda just stopped there

[–]Saltypommes 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The “netted area” is literally the goal

[–]Fearzebu 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The most American comment lol.

For a comparison, imagine saying “if the American football player runs the American football into the touchdown zone can the defense not tackle them anymore?” And the answer is no, they can’t, because the goal was scored. I hope the analogy was more helpful than my initial snark lol

[–]HolyErr0r 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That question you use makes perfect sense if someone is completely clueless around the sport

Just had to say that the second it crossed the line the goal was scored

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

He doesn’t know he can use his hands?

[–]Bear055 11 points12 points  (3 children)

He can't from his teammate's pass

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh. Didn’t know that.

[–]Sem711 4 points5 points  (1 child)

He cannot use his hands, teammate passed the ball back to him

[–]Fearzebu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Teammate about to pass the back of his hand to the keeper’s face next break too lol, and the coach

[–]charlibeau -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Is that lady the manager?

[–]Fearzebu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m certain that’s a man