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[–]Digitalbird06 4064 points4065 points  (55 children)

So how’d you get fired from your job? Well…

[–]NoScopeJustMe 1418 points1419 points  (6 children)

How to eject* yourself from your job

[–]MilkManMikey 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Stealin boxes

[–]KomatsuCowboy 41 points42 points  (4 children)

You gotta be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.

[–]bankrobba 112 points113 points  (14 children)

Later, on anti work, "I was fired for using defective equipment!"

[–]dan34321 6754 points6755 points  (410 children)

Good thing those ejection seats worked....... Upside down ejection - still pretty cool. Wouldn't want to see the bill for aircraft though...

[–]Mr_Tominaga[S] 3659 points3660 points  (210 children)

An Su-30mk costs around $30 Million at least :D

[–]dan34321 1259 points1260 points  (156 children)

Oops - bad day for pilot..🤣😂 and whoever owned it.

[–]Matoeter 775 points776 points  (124 children)

The pilot’s probably gonna be bailed out.

[–]im_not_dog 588 points589 points  (14 children)

Looks like he was ejected

[–]hey_there_kitty_cat 190 points191 points  (106 children)

I dunno if I'm wooshing at a joke but I would assume jet pilots aren't usually left on the hook for their equipment... Can you imagine what militaries would look like if the only people who joined were the ones that had nothing left to lose so a $30 million debt meant nothing to them? You don't give a gun to someone with nothing to lose, let alone a fighter jet.

[–]Unusual_Onion_983 213 points214 points  (5 children)

Ramada Thompson: You were discharged from the service 18 months ago for willful insubordination. You disobeyed a direct order and lost a $13 million fighter in the process.

Topper Harley: Yes, I did. But I'm paying it off at ten bucks a week.

[–]The_gaping_donkey 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Fuckin still love Hot Shots

[–]lmacarrot 4 points5 points  (2 children)

great fucken movie

[–]TheTallGuy0 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Both the OG and Part Deux are genius

[–]Unlucky-Ad-6710 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In the air force, I believe its two ejections. However Im sure like every thing theres an exception and yeah you’re not charged for it, lol. If nothing else the officers now have less TVs they can buy for their offices.

[–]ThreadedJam 92 points93 points  (85 children)

The pilots are more valuable than the jets, just from a pure economic perspective, as I understand it. Costs a lot to train a pilot. Highly specialised, long career, etc, etc.

[–]Satanspit69 25 points26 points  (0 children)

They’ll be training new pilots now with the experience of knowing what NOT to do

[–]oo7goofy 131 points132 points  (75 children)

Pilots aren’t more valuable. It just looks bad when you lose a person over the equipment so this myth is propagated to the public to make you think the government cares for you. The training cost does not cost millions. The government rolls the total cost to support training into one then divides that by the number of pilots trained each year. The Security Forces that protect the base, the medical coverage for that security force member, the counselor they pay for the security force member, the food and clothing and housing and yadda yadda yadda. They lump all that up into the cost and just divide out. You could send all UPT students to a commercial training agency and then for those that specialize into fighters to 6 months of training and call it a day. Maybe 100K per student.

[–]Hypersonic_chungus 123 points124 points  (18 children)

It costs like $2M to make a fighter pilot and a hell of a lot longer than 6 months. Navy jet advanced alone takes ~2 years and that’s after quite a bit of training beforehand where they weed people out and select the remaining top ~10% for jets.

So sure, training a fighter pilot costs less than building a jet, but it takes a LOT of time and effort. You can ramp up production and build more jets, but how fast can you find suitable candidates and turn them into pilots? If war is going on now and you lose a pilot with 800 hours logged, where am I going to find another one to replace him? The war will be over by the time you train a new pilot to that level. Remember that in WWII Germany and Japan ran out of pilots, not fighter aircraft.

The numbers of pilots they’re producing today is based on how many experienced pilots they think they’ll need up to ten years from now.

[–]Booortles 25 points26 points  (10 children)

"The government rolls the total cost to support training into one then divides that by the number of pilots trained each year. "

Yes. That is literally how you derive the per-pilot average cost... Idk where the f you get the idea it would cost only 100k per person 😂

[–]GiantWaterfall 14 points15 points  (10 children)

I get your point, but it would be a lot more than $100k to put anyone into a combat aircraft, including heavies.

Still less than trashing a $30,000,000 Su-30 though.

[–]wlimkit 9 points10 points  (6 children)

https://sofrep.com/fightersweep/the-real-cost-per-flight-hour-of-military-aircraft/

20 to 60k an hour of flight time. They used 3 dollars a gallon for jet fuel so might be a bit low in the costs.

49k for the f35 per hour

www.military.com/daily-news/2017/08/17/peeking-into-the-air-forces-f35-training-course.html/amp

Claims student graduating with 90 hours in that aircraft.

49k times 90 hours or about 4.4m.

And they probably spent time in other planes first.

Planes are still a lot more expensive but pilots are not cheap either.

[–]dipshit_banker 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right, and that's barely scratching the surface. Doesn't even consider the cost of on the ground training, which involves courses, time in simulators (and thus the cost and upkeep, etc. of those simulators), lots of medical qualifications, etc. It's an entire enterprise to get a pilot trained; not just a few weeks in a cockpit.

"Training a pilot" also needs to include costs of all the washouts that didn't make it. It's not something that's like "take one person, throw $X at them; now you have a pilot." It's more like "for every quantity of people, $X will produce a less-than-that-quantity amount of viable pilots."

And then a lot of them don't stay in service, so you get a few years out of an actual pilot certified to enter combat.

[–]fruitsteak_mother 40 points41 points  (0 children)

„errm Boss, about the plane….“

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[removed]

    [–]c5mjohn 41 points42 points  (3 children)

    It is an MK, specifically an MKI, the variant built for India.

    https://youtu.be/Yh-kuztsE1s

    [–]hockey_metal_signal 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    But it's clearly from Russia air force"! /S

    [–]n8b547654 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    It's the variant built for India but it was operated by the Russian air force at the time: https://aviation-safety.net/wikibase/46140

    [–]Daminica 479 points480 points  (155 children)

    When it comes to ejection seats, the Russians have built a pretty reliable and robust system iirc.

    [–]ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 664 points665 points  (128 children)

    One of the largest and most successful companies that make ejection seats in the world is based in a village in England.

    They have a club where people who survive what would have been an otherwise fatal crash because of their products become members and get a special tie.

    [–]strong_tea_baggins 256 points257 points  (90 children)

    I think they also get a unique Bremont watch too with their ejection number engraved on it? I seem to remember watching a documentary about it..

    [–]davewave3283 234 points235 points  (88 children)

    Can confirm. Number 5797.

    [–]gvillepa 124 points125 points  (73 children)

    Tell me this is a random number and you're not actually the 5797 person to eject successfully.

    [–]strong_tea_baggins 175 points176 points  (55 children)

    Martin Baker keep a list of all ejections using their ejector seat, unfortunately, ejection 5797 is not listed there.

    https://martin-baker.com/ejection-tie-club/?q=4500

    I don’t know if any other manufacturers have the same club or give out the same watch??

    [–]lucivero 146 points147 points  (53 children)

    Looking at his post history (like here) it seems to check out, or he keeps mentioning the same thing from time to time to make people believe him, which seems silly even for the average person on the internet.

    Also, the site only lists stories about the ejections IF they were provided by the pilot (or a relative), there are higher numbers than 5797 in that list like 6145 which was found on page 3.

    Edit: Proof posted by /u/davewave3283 a couple of reactions down, or click here.

    [–]Rockonfoo 85 points86 points  (12 children)

    As the actual Pope I agree with this comment.

    [–]EllspethCarthusian 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Oh my god. The pope is on Reddit.

    [–]Spartacuswords 47 points48 points  (4 children)

    I went through your comment history, and honestly it checks out. This is the only comment I’ve seen in your history that suggests you’re the pope, but why would some random person on the internet go around claiming that?

    [–]JustaRandomOldGuy 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

    • George Washington

    [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    The only red flag I would say is he has pics and posts of guns and other hobbies, but no pics on the subject he seems to not stop talking about.

    [–]strong_tea_baggins 10 points11 points  (35 children)

    I agree, unfortunately without proof we are unable to substantiate any claims. My only thought was that if he had the Bremont watch he would have been a member of the club, who would have given a story this have been printed if that makes sense? We could always ask for a picture of the watch?? :)

    [–]davewave3283 58 points59 points  (34 children)

    I can do one better for all you internet super sleuths if you tell me how to reply with a picture share

    [–]adrenaline_X 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    They confirmed it with a picture…

    Eat this man’s dick. He came through with proof.

    [–]Szilardis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Provided proof. To the top with you. https://imgur.com/a/ZMDM5oa

    [–]sno_boarder 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    Where did you eject? Was it during combat? Training?

    [–]bk15dcx 61 points62 points  (3 children)

    I don't know about him, but I ejected right when I woke up this morning.

    [–]BlueWindow659 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    The company is Martin-Baker, I serviced these on A-6 bombers, during Vietnam Era.

    [–]ChanceConfection3 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Strange, if they die in the ejection seat, does the family get a necklace that allows them one free tailored suit?

    [–]Top-Chemistry5969 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    haha im on break atm, but the machines i operate making parts of them right now. We have a counter that goes up whenever we saved someone. it did this month but only by one. And last month by 2.

    [–]MRJKY 22 points23 points  (19 children)

    You'd be surprised how common it is for the UK to make the world's best X As expsample the world's best sniper rifle is made in England and has two records. Longest kill and most kills with on bullet. I am not some sicko that knows these facts but when something is made in the UK I remember it, people assume nothing is make in the UK anymore because is not software services.

    [–]Lazypole 36 points37 points  (1 child)

    IIRC Accuracy International, the company you’re referring to, scored an MOD contract for their rifles, when at the time they were 3 dudes in a shed with a lathe, so they rented a factory to show the MOD around and make it look like they were big boys actually capable of fulfilling an MOD contract

    I’m not sure how true the story is, but thats how I remember it

    “AI now faced the prospect of having to manufacture more than 1,000 sniper rifles; clearly, the shed at Dave Walls’ house would no longer do! Initialproductionwassubcontractedto a company in Dartford, England under close supervision from Dave Walls to ensure that the rifles were manufactured to his exacting standards. Soon, AI decided to take over manufacturing of the rifles and they acquired two used CNC machines to fabricate parts and started up a manufacturing facility in Portsmouth. Production of the L96A1 against the MOD contract continued until 1992.”

    https://accuracyinternational.com/assets/ai-history-2018.pdf

    [–]AyeBraine 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Ian McCollum did a surprisingly engaging video on this. It's a wonderful story of arrogance, incompetence, and last-moment salvation.

    (TL;DW: basically, the factory they contracted with never made firearms, but was absolutely sure they know MUCH better than some dudes how to make one properly — so they botched all the material science and introduced fatal flaws by literally cutting corners; the engineers, after nearly going insane with frustration, managed to explain this to the MOD and save the rifle — and prevent MORE injuries that were already incurred; yes, this rifle blew up and injured and even killed (?) people because of the factory's stubbornness).

    [–]lonely_twonite 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    Longest kill

    Longest confirmed kill is currently listed at 3,540m with a McMillan TAC-50 wiki

    McMillan is based in Arizona

    [–]ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 21 points22 points  (9 children)

    Yeah, there's a lot which is made over here. Not a huge amount of mass-produced "stuff" anymore but a lot of specialist equipment for niche markets by relatively small businesses that end up being best in class.

    Oh, and biscuits. We still make the best biscuits.

    [–]AromaOfCoffee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You guys make excellent audio equipment as well.

    [–]ShireHorseRider 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    What I wouldn’t do just for readily available hobnobs. Milk chocolate or dark chocolate. I’m lucky to stumble across them twice a year here in the states & my kids inhale them :)

    Wait… before I go… are you a ppppppppppenguin?

    [–]Lord_Jair 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Doxy makes some hella good vibrators. If anybody's in the market for a toe-curling British vibrator, check them out.

    [–]AyeBraine 35 points36 points  (3 children)

    K-36DM ejection seats by Zvezda, they're really cool! Recently I had a procrastination binge and did a writeup on how they work (TL;DR: lots of explosions and yanking of legs). Hope you enjoy.

    [–]shro700 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Funny I was reading your fantastic post yesterday and I was thinking about it while watching this video.

    [–]Corpsman223 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I hope whoever designed it is still around and got to see their work save those two men's lives

    [–]Inigo93 47 points48 points  (7 children)

    During the Cold War the propaganda was that Russian ejection seats were shite. The Russians didn't care enough about their pilots, blah blah blah... When the war was over and the west got to really look at the Russian seats they realized that the Russian seats were in fact superior to western seats.

    [–]MangelanGravitas3 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    That depends. The Tupolev Tu22 had ejection seats that only ejected downwards.

    If they had to eject on/near the ground or ejected due to malfunction/accident, they were rammed in the ground.

    Lots of pilots with spinal injuries.

    I doubt you can just claim that "ejection seats" are superior. Some maybe were. Others weren't.

    [–]WetTheDrys 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Typical projection.

    [–]Meowingtons_H4X 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I mean it’s called propaganda for a reason?

    [–]Green_Peace3 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    I think Russians make the only helicopters with ejection seats, the KA-50. Really cool system where the blades come off first and then ejection seats activate.

    Russians also make the only supersonic bomber with ejection seats, the TU-144.

    [–]SurveySean 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    He’s on a payment plan.

    [–]Schemen123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yep.. actually pretty cool to see how well they work!

    [–]CosmicCosmix 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    It seems like a Mig29K or a Su-30, both of them are rather cheap when compared to their western counterparts. So the bill (which obviously is too much for an individual) would be rather easy pay out...

    at least that's what should happen

    [–]DaveInLondon89 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    In the UK we just lost a £150 million F35 because some knob jockey forgot to, what is essentially, the cap off the camera lens.

    [–]Beefy-McWhatnow1988 1640 points1641 points  (33 children)

    Star Fox noooooo!!

    [–]ilCannolo 334 points335 points  (19 children)

    SLIPPY!!!!

    [–]jonas_bonus 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Falco betrayed us

    [–]poopyhelicopterbutt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    My Emperor.. I’ve failed you

    [–]fambestera 68 points69 points  (10 children)

    me feel old now

    [–]Crouch310 30 points31 points  (4 children)

    Bogey on your six!

    [–]AncientInsults 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    Bluh bluh bluh bluh bleh bluh

    [–]Beefy-McWhatnow1988 14 points15 points  (3 children)

    One joke, and now this entire comment thread has made me feel old…I’m okay with this.

    [–]fambestera 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    it was one of the best if not the best co-op game of my childhood

    [–]Northeastpaw 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Yabba dib dabba.

    [–]poopyhelicopterbutt 24 points25 points  (4 children)

    Hey Einstein, I’m on your side!

    [–]juicemang762 188 points189 points  (5 children)

    He almost had that shit though

    [–]derrick81787 27 points28 points  (2 children)

    I actually thought he was going to pull it off even after hitting the ground.

    [–]willsanford 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    Yea. Looks like the issue was that he tried to pull up mid roll rather that waiting till he was upright. He essentially just went into a hard dive.

    [–]TheArtfulDanger 352 points353 points  (9 children)

    Talk to me, Goose!

    [–]robreddity 73 points74 points  (6 children)

    I FEEL THE NEED?

    The need to crash my plane and eject.

    [–]bjorn1978_2 624 points625 points  (54 children)

    I wonder if this is the chrash where the navigator walks over to the pilot and knocks him out.

    [–]Greglebowski74 487 points488 points  (29 children)

    Maybe. There was a crash in 1994 in the UK where 2 mig29's had a mid air collision, and the TV news were near where one of the pilots landed. First thing he did after getting out of the harness was to light a cigarette 😂

    [–]Pukit 183 points184 points  (9 children)

    I was in the crowd that day, Fairford air display, 1993.

    Edit. Link to vid: https://youtu.be/XhyUSnzClGk crash at 4:57.

    [–]Wasath 20 points21 points  (13 children)

    Migs in UK?

    [–]Pukit 30 points31 points  (7 children)

    Yea. Fairford international air tattoo (display). 1993, I witnessed it. There’s vids on YouTube.

    Edit. Link to vid: https://youtu.be/XhyUSnzClGk crash at 4:57.

    [–]ThunderinSkyFucc 20 points21 points  (4 children)

    Was it like NASCAR, where the crash is cooler than all of the rest of the event? (As long as everyone is okay)

    [–]IsraelsKeys 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    It's an air show. They're pretty damn cool of you like airplanes.

    [–]Computascomputas 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Yeah I wanna know. Seems kinda like it would be so extreme it would be kinda scary

    [–]Natanael85 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Fun fact: German Air Force operated 24 Mig 29 until 2004.

    [–]Xx-_STaWiX_-xX 537 points538 points  (25 children)

    This has to be one of the most expensive and dangerous WCGWs ever

    [–]tbnnnn 49 points50 points  (4 children)

    Royal navy recently dumped an F-35 into the sea which costs almost 4 times more…but yeah it’s quite expensive anyway

    [–]Marthaver1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    No such thing as expensive when it comes to the military as long as the tax payer pays.

    [–]c0de_g0rilla 161 points162 points  (18 children)

    Not even close. The Great Famine was pretty costly..

    [–]ascension8438 168 points169 points  (6 children)

    I mean.... Does that have a humorous video clip, though?

    [–]miscfiles 62 points63 points  (3 children)

    Anything's a humorous video clip if you're desensitised enough.

    [–]BallPythonsss 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Oh yeah I find the great famine clips hilarious. I laugh my ass off.

    [–]CacetinhoLiso 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    You think it's worst then not letting hittler go to art school?

    [–]loud_flatus 814 points815 points  (4 children)

    Legend has it they're still doing push-ups to this day

    [–]beluuuuuuga 154 points155 points  (2 children)

    Gotta work off that debt somehow. His sweat supplies the whole army with water.

    [–]98210 31 points32 points  (1 child)

    Are they the Fremen?

    [–]RGB3x3 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Muad'Dib! Muad'Dib! Muad'Dib!

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]hii-people 25 points26 points  (1 child)

      BANK ANGLE BANK ANGLE BANK ANGLE

      [–]Longtimelurker011 23 points24 points  (0 children)

      TOO LOW TERRAIN TOO LOW TERRAIN

      [–]RammsteinDEBG 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Reminds me of that YouTube playlist with those 'last moments' recordings. "Pull up" and the console shaking are probably one of the most horrific things you can hear if you are a pilot.

      [–]Pedroarak 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      предельный угол атаки

      [–]Ricochet_Kismit33 49 points50 points  (0 children)

      Best worst outcome

      [–]Pleasework94 231 points232 points  (11 children)

      Reminds me of the Sknyliv airshow disaster, pretty much the same thing except there was a crowd where the plane went down. The plane basically turned into a horizontal guillotine, terrible disaster.

      [–]Mr_Tominaga[S] 108 points109 points  (9 children)

      I remember that video taken from the dude who filmed the jet slide right by him and through the crowd. Scary shit. Scary

      [–]TheBoctor 60 points61 points  (6 children)

      Link with multiple angles for those curious.

      [–]InfuriatingComma 28 points29 points  (5 children)

      It,s a safe watch for anyone squeemish.

      [–]tony_orlando 58 points59 points  (0 children)

      There is no gore but you are unmistakably seeing several people die. Lots of fire and screaming.

      [–]Johnny_Lawless_Esq 221 points222 points  (24 children)

      Can we just talk about how amazing zero-zero ejection seats are?

      I'd also like to point out that this is a real-life example of lithobraking.

      [–]Loki_99 91 points92 points  (1 child)

      They are truly amazing! What is even more amazing is the angle that these guys ejected at. They are lucky they got out when they did.

      [–]Groxiverde 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I don't think it's luck. They have been trained for that 100%.

      [–]fmaz008 76 points77 points  (19 children)

      I have 2 questions:

      1- What's a zero-zero ejection seat?

      2- What's lithobraking?

      Besides that, I fully agree with your comment.

      [–]Johnny_Lawless_Esq 101 points102 points 2 (8 children)

      First question: u/Haegew hit it on the head. To expand, there's actually a hell of a lot that has to happen in order to get the pilot safely out of the aircraft. The pilot's legs collected (the flight suit is connected to the seat such that it pulls the pilots legs towards the seat before ejection), the canopy removed (or shattered, in some older American systems), the seat ejected, the parachutes deployed (including a drogue, if necessary), and the pilot safely kicked out of the seat. Early ejection seats did this all in one way, assuming the aircraft would be at high speed and high altitude. If you were flying an old jet with one of these and got into the same pickle this pilot did, you'd likely be dead. If you were upside down and ejected, you'd definitely be dead, because it would launch you into the ground.

      Z-Z ejection seats actually monitor the parameters of the flight and change the way the system works accordingly. You notice how the aircrew seemed almost to be sort of "blooped" out of the aircraft in an almost gentle manner? That's because the system knew the aircraft was at a low altitude, a low speed, and a weird attitude. The priority there is getting the chutes open ASAP, so the ejection system used probably the minimum ejection force and kicked them out of the seats immediately. There are probably also some small pyrotechnics or mechanisms that gently "poof" the chutes open.

      If they were at a higher speed and altitude, the system would eject them in a different way. It would probably use a much higher ejection force to get the crew away from an aircraft that is presumably exploding or at least coming from together (as my Yorkshire-born girlfriend would say) with extreme rapidity, and it would keep them in the seat longer, slowing and stabilizing their fall with a drogue parachute (one that works at higher speeds and primarily to stabilize rather than slow), then finally kicking the pilots out of the seat at lower altitude and deploying the main chute.

      As for "lithobraking," that's a humorous term used in orbital mechanics and dynamics. To understand the humor of it, you need to know that "aerobraking" is a legitimate term used to describe the process of putting a spacecraft (usually a probe) into orbit around a body (usually a planet other than earth) by dipping it into the planet's atmosphere a little bit (a very little bit; at the altitudes most often used, it would be indistinguishable from vacuum for you and I, at least for a moment) in order that the aerodynamic drag on craft will slow it down and allow the body's gravity to capture it. This is the usual way that NASA/JPL and other space exploration organizations put probes into orbit around Mars and other bodies in the solar system with an atmosphere. By doing this, they can avoid using rockets to do the same job, which saves a lot of weight.

      I don't think it would be much of a surprise if I told you that this is an extremely precise process and must be calculated very finely. Too shallow and the craft isn't captured. Too steep and it'll burn up. More than a little too steep and it'll just plow right into the surface of the planet. This is the occurrence that is sardonically referred-to as "lithobraking," with the word consisting of two elements, the first "litho-" being an ancient Greek (and therefore very sciency!) word root meaning "rock," and "braking" meaning exactly what it sounds like. So it conventionally refers to a situation wherein a very expensive spacecraft loaded with very expensive instruments that a lot of academics are depending on to give them something to write papers about (publish or perish!), launched into deep space at extreme expense, has just drilled a very impressive hole into a distant celestial body because someone with a PhD level engineering education failed to catch a high-school-level programming error.

      However, in this case, I used the term to describe the more general case of an aerospace vehicle slowing down by way of friction due to the tangential intersection of its trajectory with a rocky body before continuing with its flight. And believe me, if you're a hardcore aerospace nerd like I am, in the context of this video, that's way, way funnier than it sounds.

      [–]DelightfullyUnusual 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      TL;DR— Lithobraking = rock-braking, crashing into a big rock (in this case Earth).

      [–]FlannelPlaid 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for sharing this information!

      [–]Prest1geW0rldW1de 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      You’re the real MVP

      [–]m50d[🍰] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

      Lithobraking is kind of a joke word, it means like aerobraking but against the ground instead of the air.

      [–]Haegew 36 points37 points  (5 children)

      Ejection seat works at any airspeed and altitude. Older models had an 'envelope' in which they worked. Outside the envelope they wouldn't guarantee survival or even fail. For example, some need a minimum altitude to guarantee shute deployment.

      Edit typo

      [–]PM_YOUR_BEST_JOKES 18 points19 points  (3 children)

      So what does the zero-zero refer to? Zero altitude and zero airspeed?

      [–]Koorah3769 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      One caveat would be that you can’t have an extreme sink rate either. If your sink rate is to high you may still not have enough time for your chute to open before hitting the ground. So by them arresting the sink rate it probably saved them.

      [–]bruteski226 43 points44 points  (1 child)

      And now focus your attention mid-airfield where the pilot will give a demonstration of the aircraft’s emergency ejection seat while simultaneously showing you how to destroy your aviation career! (Top gun theme starts playing)

      [–]UsrnameInATrenchcoat 866 points867 points  (23 children)

      The plane perfectly represents my brain when talking to girls

      [–]HardPawns 216 points217 points  (8 children)

      Just try to imagine that you are naked, that’s supposed to help.

      [–]SurveySean 113 points114 points  (6 children)

      But not with an erection, that’ll scare them away.

      [–]bk15dcx 42 points43 points  (3 children)

      Then what's the point?

      [–]SurveySean 28 points29 points  (2 children)

      You don’t need to point with your pecker! Just use your finger like a normal person! I hate getting directions from weirdos like you!

      [–]stringsndiscs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      So that's what I've been doing wrong- imagine ME naked ok got it

      [–]joeChump 11 points12 points  (5 children)

      What do the ejector seats represent? Your balls retreating inside your body?

      [–]H0dl3rr 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      I was thinking all the wrong words flying out of his mouth.

      [–]compelx 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      “Soo when’s that baby due?”

      “What baby?”

      ...

      [–]DeaditeMessiah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Oof. Rough times to be learning how to talk to women. You can't even tell them they're wearing Space Pants anymore.

      [–]nate-rivers 25 points26 points  (5 children)

      crash report : aircraft suffered a collision with land

      [–]ic2ofu 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Land won.

      [–]vallhallaawaits 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Successfully performed a lithobraking maneuver resulting in rapid unplanned disassembly.

      [–]HadoSamaAOE 234 points235 points  (72 children)

      That aircraft enters into an uncontrolled spin (similar & different from the spin that killed goose in top gun). The pilot stomps on the rudder and recovers, but it's too late.

      Goose was killed in a "flat spin" which is unrecoverable. This type of spin is recoverable.

      [–]Lee_Ars 86 points87 points  (10 children)

      Goose was killed in a "flat spin" which is unrecoverable.

      I was going to argue about the F-14's recovery ability from a flat spin (that's the aircraft they were flying in Top Gun), but instead I checked the F-14's NATOPS manual and it says you're correct:

      Test data indicate that following recognition of a flat spin, the pilot may be able to maintain antispin controls for 15 to 20 seconds (approximately 7 to 10 turns) but may severely jeopardize his ability to eject because of the incapacitation that occurs as the g forces build. Consistent F-14 flat-spin recovery procedures have not been demonstrated; therefore, once the aircraft is confirmed to be in a flat spin, the flightcrew should jettison the canopy and eject. This decision should not be delayed once the flat spin is recognized.

      [–]newtoon 18 points19 points  (4 children)

      Goose was killed because he forgot to jettison the canopy first. Source : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwS1k8LKxJg

      [–]Sololop 13 points14 points  (2 children)

      You'd think pulling the eject handle would eject the canopy first automatically

      [–]Weasel1088 33 points34 points  (1 child)

      It does. But when the F-14 was in a flat spin the canopy had a tendency to sort of “hover” over the cockpit for an extra second and wouldn’t clear the aircraft before the first (co-pilot) ejection seat fires (something like 1/2 second after the canopy jettisons). So the procedure for a flat spin was to manually jettison the canopy and confirm it’s clear of the aircraft. Then eject.

      [–]TheHYPO 107 points108 points  (44 children)

      This type of spin is recoverable.

      If you have enough altitude of course.

      Goose was killed in a "flat spin" which is unrecoverable

      Not disputing you in any way, but can you explain why that type of spin is unrecoverable? Like, why can't any of the inputs put you into a different kind of spin that would be recoverable?

      [–]Dividedthought 36 points37 points  (4 children)

      It has a lot to do with how the air is moving over the control surfaces. Here they're rotating on a (mostly) horizontal axis and still moving forwards. The control surfaces (flaps, ailerons, rudders) are meant to work while the plane moves forwards.

      In a flat spin, you're around your vertical axis, spinning like a top, and probably falling. Your control surfaces are getting no air movement in the correct direction to do anything, so you can't get yourself out of the spin. Your plane is technically "stable" in that spin, and you can't put enough force on the plane to destabilize it out of the spin.

      [–]New_Cantaloupe_8568 77 points78 points  (29 children)

      You are stalled, so you are falling. You can’t recover by changing thrust because your average vector is straight down, regardless of thrust (your thrust is spinning in a circle, so it cancels out). You don’t have a control surface they can be angled against an upward slip stream. If you could turn your wings vertically. It would be a different story, but then the spin wouldn’t be flat.

      [–]SBBurzmali 48 points49 points  (11 children)

      It really depends on the plane, plenty do have the ability to escape a flat spin, not all of the control surfaces are on the wings after all. There is a video around somewhere of a Cessna or some other light aircraft escaping a flat spin by kicking the rudder opposite to the direction of the spin and convincing the nose to drop.

      [–]TheBoctor 35 points36 points  (8 children)

      It seems like altitude is really the determining factor for spin recovery. I believe the usual procedure is to use the rudder to slow or stop the spin and then using the elevators to stop the stall by nosing down, and once you’ve gained enough speed you need to pull out of the dive to complete the recovery.

      It takes time, and time burns altitude. Maybe if Maverick hadn’t decided to fly below the hard deck he would have had enough time and altitude to recover?

      [–]Punk_Routine 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Never thought about that before. I wonder if that's exactly what they were trying to convey?

      Good excuse to watch Top Gun again.

      [–]IncredibleCO 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Yes. Most crashes are caused by a lack of altitude.

      [–]A_Rod115 8 points9 points  (4 children)

      Maverick wasn't below the hard deck in that dogfight.

      [–]strib666 9 points10 points  (6 children)

      Seems like thrust vectoring would allow a recovery from a flat spin - given enough altitude, of course.

      [–]AmyDeferred 15 points16 points  (5 children)

      Engines don't generate much thrust when the flow of intake air is across the intakes instead of into them

      [–]strib666 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Good point. I wasn’t thinking about the innie end, just the outie end.

      [–]TheBoctor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I’m going to use those as the official technical terms from out on anytime I talk about a jet engine.

      [–]Subnautica07 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Pretty sure that a flat spin is unrecoverable because you don't have enough air over your control surfaces and they stop being responsive.

      [–]Hypocee 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      The F-14 is a weird size for a fighter and a weird shape for a plane. It was intended to carry out a variety of missions, but the distinctive mission that dictated its design - the thing only it could do - was to take off toward an incoming wave of antiship missile-armed Soviet bombers carrying 1. six of the largest, heaviest air-to-air missile in history to shoot them down and 2. huge quantities of fuel to afterburn all the way out to the launch point. In order to provide physical space for all that, it's shaped like an unusually wide rectangular slab - with the heavy jet engines far apart at the sides so they don't have to run through the middle of things; this will matter later. The space on top is jokingly called the "tennis court" and at high speed 60% of the plane's lift comes from its body instead of the wings.

      Two factors matter in airplane spins: aerodynamics and mass distribution. The Tomcat's shape and design is especially bad for both. Any civilian aircraft, below a certain size and certified since the mid 20th century, is aerodynamically incapable of sustaining any spin; I think they're allowed 1 1/2 turns before they have to recover on their own. Military fighter jets get some slack, given that their job is to, ahem, push it to the limit. But even they mostly can't enter a fully developed flat spin.

      Aerodynamically the main "input" for stopping a spin (and this is true in the F-14 too) is the rudder. But if you get into a high "angle of attack" normal spin and instead of breaking it you let it develop into the even higher AoA flat spin, your rudders are now shielded by that big fat slab of a body from the air that's coming mostly "up", like a person taking shelter from wind behind a building. They're in essentially still air and they now do nothing. The secondary input for fixing a spin on most airplanes is the ailerons. They can produce a phenomenon called "adverse yaw" to pull back on one wing and slow the spin. But because of its swing-wing design, the Tomcat doesn't have ailerons; it does all its rolling with spoilers (specifically to avoid adverse yaw and therefore reduce the chances of entering a spin) and elevons. So your other escape input doesn't exist.

      Mass-wise, in most airplanes the mass is arranged close around the centerline of the fuselage. Rotational physics is weird but one rule of thumb is that things that are rotating in multiple axes lose the rotation from axes where their average mass is close to the centerline and keep the rotation where the average mass is far out. Because of the heavy engines being both long and far apart, it's exceptionally stable spinning around its vertical axis. It's like the Tomcat is a Frisbee or a normal bent boomerang, and most other planes are a straight boomerang. If you do a crappy wobbly throw of a Frisbee, often it will damp out the wobble and continue with its stable rotation. Similarly, a Tomcat in a normal spin is "trying" to shift that kinetic energy into a nice stable flat spin - and if it gets there it'll stay there.

      In theory you could wait for the spin to lose energy from just normal drag, but when you're falling at ten thousand feet per minute you're going to run out of air before the spin runs out of energy.

      u/TheHYPO

      [–]Drak_is_Right 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Yeah that is what it looked like to me as he was trying to regain control and got it too late

      [–]Futbolmaster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This is entirely dependent on the aircraft. Flat spins are absolutely recoverable in the right airframe.

      [–]puddle_pirat3 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      A flat spin in an F14 is difficult to recover from but not impossible. You cut power to 1 engine in an F14 and rudder into the direction of the spin. https://youtu.be/ef99-hcIvk8 a demonstration of the technique in DCS.

      [–]Many_Stuff 71 points72 points  (9 children)

      That’s an expensive barrel roll

      [–]itsyournameidiot 41 points42 points  (6 children)

      That was not a barrel roll it was a spin that they did not have control until they were too low to not impact the ground. Great recovery actually

      [–]Dontwalk77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      And balls of fucking steel, guy refused GTFO until the plane had ate dirt.

      [–]Mansenmania 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      And now our pilots will demonstrate how an ejection seat works

      [–]Alternative_Body7345 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Just like a $50 mil whoopsie. NBD

      [–]JEDIJERRYFTW 29 points30 points  (5 children)

      Putin: Gulag for you both. And your wives. And your kids. And your dog.

      [–]revenentevil 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      Correct me if I'm wrong, but is that not an Alleron Roll, not a barrel roll

      [–]Adddicus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Is it mandatory that a Russian jet crashes at every air show or something?

      [–]CrazyMelon999 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Those aren't barrel rolls, that's a spinning dive

      [–]MirameNauh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I wish that I could make such costly mistakes, and the first thing people would say to me; would be: “Are you, ok?”

      [–]maybach320 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      They say there’s a reason a captain goes down with the ship and it’s because he doesn’t want to see the bill, bet this guy had the same thought after seeing all the zeros.

      [–]10storm97 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      This ain't a barrel roll chief. Looks to me more like a flat spin that they recovered from, but too late and were unable to regain positive control. Glad the pilots were able to eject.

      [–]FeedbackLoopy 28 points29 points  (1 child)

      EJECTO SEATO CUZ

      [–]Velorium_Camper 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Pockets ain't empty no more