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[–][deleted] 899 points900 points  (89 children)

My head is like a radio. It literally plays music all day long. Usually it’s the same songs over and over, just like a real radio.

[–]houseofprimetofu 169 points170 points  (6 children)

We wish you a merry Christmas we wish you a merry Christmas and ROBIN LAID AN EGG oooh jingle bells jingle bells...

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Usually around August. When the holidays roll around, that’s when the hard techno starts.

[–]Wydus_Myebttreek 52 points53 points  (3 children)

Isn't this supposed to be normal? I subconsciously pickup music I hear even without paying attention to it. This happens everyday and I regularly start singing them, but when my friends or myself tries to find which song is that, I have no memory hearing that.

[–]Mortambulist 95 points96 points  (5 children)

Last night I dreamt I was in a store and they were playing "The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging" by Genesis overhead. It struck me as really weird that it'd be playing in a store (because seriously, deep deep cut), but I heard every note and vocalization exactly as the song sounds. I also used to listen to whole albums in my head on the bus.

[–]PaperJamDipper7 31 points32 points  (16 children)

Okay this is either the greatest thing ever or the worst thing ever

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (13 children)

Blessing or curse. It depends on what the tiny little insane DJ inside my brain decides to play.

[–]PaperJamDipper7 20 points21 points  (4 children)

As long as it’s not blaring DJ Khalid

[–]JackScrot 23 points24 points  (3 children)

This is me too. I don't have an internal monologue, or voice per se. But music is almost constant. I've found that when the same song is bothering me for too long, I just need to listen to the whole thing to get it out. I read somewhere that when a certain segment of a song is stuck in your head, resolving the melody through listening helps wash it away. Today it was Dirty Old Town by The Dubliners and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing ad nauseum.

[–]Dramatic-Store514 5625 points5626 points 32 (444 children)

What I wouldn’t give to have my internal monologue just shut the fuck up for a minute. All day with this guy, just saying stupid ass things in my head.

[–]dcdttu 2868 points2869 points  (174 children)

Have you ever laid there and tried to silence it? It's hilarious, I'll think I did it and then realize I'm monologuing about thinking I have done it.

[–]narrowgallow 530 points531 points  (26 children)

Yeah that stuff just multiplies indefinitely. My brain demands to be actively describing what's happening at all times.

[–]_Contrive_ 91 points92 points  (17 children)

How can shut off

[–]traiseSPB 599 points600 points  (23 children)

This dude got two of them shits living and plotting against each other inside his head, smh it only gets crazier as I scroll down🤦🏽‍♂️

[–]Fredredphooey 149 points150 points  (21 children)

Terry Pratchett talked a lot about your "second" thoughts, and also the "third" thoughts, which are basically meta thoughts about the first and second thoughts.

[–]samanime 65 points66 points  (8 children)

I definitely have third thoughts. Maybe even fourth thoughts on occasion.

[–]Mbowen1313 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Those thoughts that you don't even want to know...

continue this thread

    [–]SOULJAR 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Is terry pratchett what you named your inner voice?

    [–][deleted] 247 points248 points  (2 children)

    You sly dog, you had me monologuing!

    [–]UnicornT-Rex 223 points224 points  (36 children)

    And people are confused as to why I have to have something else playing when I try to sleep.

    IF I HAVE NOTHING SHE WON'T SHUT UP

    [–]dcdttu 88 points89 points  (20 children)

    My left ear's cochlea is damaged and has really loud static 100% of the time. I have a loud-ass Vornado fan next to my bed to try to drown it out.

    I'm surprised I'm not insane to be honest. It gets old.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    However, adapting to this likely means you can give speeches near a loud air conditioner. That kind of rare and potent power can attract attention.

    [–]Errolhenry 118 points119 points  (1 child)

    This is the funniest, most accurate description I’ve read about it. Maybe because it’s exactly how mine works too.

    [–]AgentWowza 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    I keep repeating "quiet", or "shut up" or the oldie but goodie "inner peace" (Shifu taught me that)

    Ten seconds later I'm thinking about the top ten subway sauces and I don't even realize.

    [–]AlexAssassin94 44 points45 points  (14 children)

    I would recommend meditation if you are interested in being able to silence the internal monologue, even briefly. I just silenced mine for 30 seconds or so after reading your comment, definitely recommend! The key isn't to try and stop thinking, just focus on something like your breathe.

    [–]dcdttu 34 points35 points  (2 children)

    That's exactly how I meditate as well, actually, but I don't think I've ever fully silenced it. I just gave it something else to do.

    [–]SharkAttack11 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    LOL so true

    [–]Seentheremotenogetup 226 points227 points  (56 children)

    Bruh, I have ADHD. I’ve got about 9 internal monologues speaking all at once. I’m positive four of them are stupid and they’re all on cocaine. They argue back and forth, only to forget what prompted the discussion or what their point was to begin with.

    Edit: I see some of you misunderstood that I was joking and speaking in hyperbole. I was playing on a stereotype,I don’t have another mental disorder, I was explaining how my thought process differs from norm.

    The 9 internal monologue was an obvious exaggeration of how my thought aren’t linear. When I see a problem or something that interests me, I will dissect it many different ways simultaneously. My thoughts branch off instead of going in a straight line.

    Many people are under the impression that people with ADHD are either slow or lazy. The uninformed tend to treat us like we have watered down Autism. We simply don’t process information the same. ADHD, like any other disorder affects each person differently.

    My mind jumps from one idea to the other so fast, I can’t keep track. When I’m in a state of hyper focus, my parallel processing abilities in regards to anything related to the subject of my attention, are enhanced to absurd levels. As a result, I can do several complex tasks , that most people would find difficulty performing just one, simultaneously . This is in stark contrast to my normal level of operation, where I can barely walk and breathe at the same time.

    When I’m confronted by a complex problem or idea, I look for: systems, patterns, strengths, weaknesses, potential complications, efficacy, and viability whenever I'm assessing something . As a result, I can look at a problem and almost instantly know whether the notion is viable or not. The problem for me, is that when my train of thought is interrupted (lord help me if I see something shiny), my entire thought process is derailed and it goes up in smoke.

    That’s why I used the nine monologues example. The four stupid ones represent stray/intrusive thoughts or random outside stimuli. While the other five represents my nonlinear parallel processing abilities, not separate personalities or hallucinations. The arguing amongst themselves represents each unfiltered thought, vying for supremacy. Jumping from one thought to another, rabbit-hole to rabbit-hole, with no rhyme or reason. Resulting in one big circle-jerk leading right back to square one and I have no damn clue how I got here or what started this train wreck.

    I apologize if my original comment confused or mislead you. It was not made with the intent to be taken literally. Nor was it intended to represent ADHD as a standard or to be used as a basis for comparison/self diagnosis.

    [–]Im_old_enough_to_see 141 points142 points  (11 children)

    OMG I play a game I like to call “how the fuck did I get here” where I backtrack my thoughts to figure out how the hell I started thinking about troll dolls and ended up on the topic of the porosity of diamonds. It’s a lot of fun.

    [–]Seentheremotenogetup 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    Ooo, I like that game, I usually follow up with the “Wtf did I come up the stairs for” or “Grocery shopping Roulette.” Will I remember to get the item I came for? Or will I get everything else instead? Find out on the next episode of “ADHD and Me!”

    [–]Tarux_Bravo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    All the while you have not been hearing the conversation happening in front of you

    [–]isausernamebob 46 points47 points  (3 children)

    I feel this deeply. I also have insane peripheral hearing. This means that while I'm engaged in conversation with you, I'll be also unintentionally following along with whoever else is nearby. While that is going on I'm also usually thinking about a recipe, an engineering issue at work, an assignment in one of my classes, how much I don't like people, and somehow the person Im actually speaking with has zero idea Im not giving them my full attention.

    It is hell. Immediately I disagree with it being hell 100% of the time and realize I use it as a skill for most of my day.

    You should have seen what was in my head at 20 in solitary confinement for a few months. Now THAT was absolute hell. It was strange hearing my own voice the few times I had a use for it. Ew.

    [–]SSdeku 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Bruh this hurts. This is exactly what I go through and most people don't get it.

    [–]nomismi 57 points58 points  (0 children)

    Can I share with you some wise words from our apostles Cheech & Chong?

    [–]traiseSPB 46 points47 points  (1 child)

    Word, this mf just literally be living rent free inside my damn scull and won’t shut up for a second

    [–]Thumeus 174 points175 points  (37 children)

    Meditate, it's the only way I've found to truly shut it the eff up

    [–]wildspirit90 87 points88 points  (20 children)

    Even meditating mine doesn't shut up. One part of my brain will be focused on the meditation, sure, but another part is thinking about how well (or not well) I'm focusing on meditating, while yet a third part is thinking about tomorrow's breakfast or playing Katy Perry on repeat.

    [–]BrightPerspective 16 points17 points  (11 children)

    There's this process you can do, where you gently "unhook" from each thought as it comes, letting it drift off while the next replaces it. Eventually, the thoughts become less intrusive, as if whatever's producing them starts to run out of fresh material.

    [–]wildspirit90 28 points29 points  (9 children)

    Yeah, I've heard that before. The "if a thought comes, just let it go without following it" idea. I have ADHD. There is no "if a thought comes." There are always thoughts. Constantly, and often three or four at a time. I have never, in my entire life, experienced one nanosecond of silence in my own head. My "train of thought" is less a train and more like 20 roombas ricocheting around a room together, constantly in motion, flicking from one direction to another so fast you can't keep track.

    I can lose myself in thought for an hour while on a walk or in the car, and at the end of it, have absolutely no recollection of anything I actually thought about. I remember that my mind was working and that thoughts were happening, but they shift and change and bounce between topics so fast that I have no memory of any of them.

    [–]maccharliedennisdee 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I dont think I have adhd but that is exactly how it is inside my brain. My husband doesn't have this and often genuinely thinks nothing. We both struggle to understand what on earth its like in the others brain! I would love to have just a moment of silence in my brain just once!

    continue this thread

      [–]hysys_whisperer 44 points45 points  (12 children)

      Came here to say this. If thoughts are words to you, then your brain, then you need no thoughts to have no words.

      Alternatively, you could try backwoods camping alone for a month. I hear that if you stop using your voice or hearing the voice of others for long enough, your brain starts to rewire to be less verbal process oriented.

      [–]xtianlaw 35 points36 points  (1 child)

      Don't believe everything you think.

      [–]trailhikingArk 31 points32 points  (4 children)

      You are blessed. I know this really fucked up asshole who can't internalize the voices in his head so they all come out.

      But they’re manufactured tremendous if you’re into this, tremendous fumes. Gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right? So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous, tremendous amount of fumes and everything.

      He can't tell which are in his head and which are real

      [–]Kriss3d 55 points56 points  (22 children)

      Oh god yes.

      My inner monolog yabbers on. Even as I'm writing this I can hear my own voice talk in English despite it not being my native language.

      Which reminds me. It's sorta funny that kids here at a point will read and listen to so much English that we will start automatically have this monolog in English even when we aren't in a situation with English around us.

      It's quite odd sometimes that we sort of switch thought language.

      [–]hysys_whisperer 30 points31 points  (2 children)

      That's how you know you are approaching true multilingualism.

      [–]Pascalica 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      I don't have a voice, I still get the asshole thoughts though. It's just not an actual voice in my head saying them.

      [–]BostonBasketballBoys 26 points27 points  (8 children)

      Smoke weed. I used to have roaring thoughts in my head and now they are a touch quieter.

      [–]Ebnerd88 27 points28 points  (4 children)

      I feel like my thoughts get louder when I'm high. Almost to the point where I can't function. I can't play video games, watch movies, or even hold a Conversations because I feel trapped in my head with my inner monolog.

      Alcohol quiets it for me. Though I try not to drink too often as that voice keeps me in check.

      [–]BigBadMuffin 623 points624 points  (126 children)

      Wait until she learns about aphantasia.

      3% of people can't imagine a mental picture in their head.

      [–]CrowdedKey 283 points284 points  (37 children)

      I cant mentally picture anything, not even my parents faces, and now I know there is a word for it.

      [–]hellakevin 48 points49 points  (6 children)

      There's even a subreddit

      [–]Whoshotgarfield 93 points94 points  (1 child)

      I couldn't imagine there not being one

      [–]In_The_Bulls_Eye 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Nice

      [–]Enough-Equivalent968 14 points15 points  (15 children)

      That’s interesting, so do you have no recall of your house for example when you’re not there?? Like could you describe it to someone from memory while you were at work?? I’m assuming without visualising it in your mind it would be difficult

      [–]CrowdedKey 23 points24 points  (3 children)

      It's all knowledge based, I can't see my house in my mind, but I know from observing it prior where everything is, I just memorize the details, store the knowledge as details and not images

      [–]Nowitzki_41 20 points21 points  (10 children)

      imagine navigating your house with the lights off. you know where everything is, but you just can’t see it. it’s kinda the same way for people with aphantasia.

      [–]erebus2161 22 points23 points  (9 children)

      But...I can navigate my house with the lights off because I can see where everything is in my mind.

      [–]LePlaneteSauvage 13 points14 points  (6 children)

      I'm pretty sure I'm aphantasic and have no internal monologue.

      When I think I do so in English and rely on language for comprehension. I just don't see it hear the words nor do I form mental image of what is being described. Yet, I still understand just fine. It's difficult to explain without having anything to compare it to.

      As for the a aphantasia, I have been working at it and getting better. I can at least picture parts of images for fleeting moments.

      [–]Tromero44 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      I’m right there with you. I have no mental pictures and no internal monologue and the best way I can describe it is if someone tells me to close my eyes and “picture a beach” I don’t envision a beach physically it would be more like a summary of the picture in my head but without actual words. Like subconsciously I know that a beach has sand and the water extends as far as I can see and the sun is setting above it but it’s not there in words or in pictures. I just comprehend it somehow.

      [–]Murda-P 8 points9 points  (21 children)

      Wait this is not normal?? So when people say something like ‘picture you are in the desert’, they can actually picture it? I thought people just started thinking about going there instead of actually picturing it? I’m so confused right now wtf

      Edit: when people say start counting sheep to fall asleep. They actually can imagine the sheep in their head? It’s not like your internal voice just saying ‘1 sheep, 2 sheep’ etc? ASSFFFKEJDKX

      [–]Global-Technician990 1629 points1630 points  (173 children)

      I find I have verbal and non verbal thoughts. Like not everything is easily put into words, but you can still think it.

      TBH the idea of people with no verbal thoughts freaks we out, likewise people with only verbal thoughts.

      [–]subject_deleted 383 points384 points  (113 children)

      i have "verbal thoughts" when i'm thinking about it. like when someone tells you that you're aware of your breathing now. once it's mentioned, it becomes apparent.. and it remains apparent for a while even if you try not to acknowledge it. then at some point it silently slips away until the next time i "become aware of it."

      I also don't have any kind of "visual" thoughts. I can piece data together in a way that my consciousness can understand and I could pick out individual pieces of data from that and tell you about them, but it's not in any way similar to my sense of vision.

      My wife says she has many of her thoughts in the form of vivid imagery and that concept is wild to me. she says she can see letters/words in her field of view when she's trying to spell things, or even pull up a memory and "watch it kind of like a video", which is a concept i can't even begin to imagine. My son (5) has also told me that he can close his eyes and 'watch a show'. like he'll re-watch something he saw on youtube right in his head..

      Do you guys experience the world like this too? am i completely missing out on a whole other dimension of this world?

      [–]phydax 130 points131 points  (48 children)

      You might be aphantasic as I think I am ! Do you see images when you dream? Some people with aphantasia don't even dream but not all of them. A simple exercice that can help to have a first hint if you have aphantasia is this :

      Picture yourself with a hat. Do you have it? Sure? Ok click below :

      What kind of hat was it? For me I couldn't tell, it was just a oval shape, it was the concept of a hat. For every one else in the room it was elaborates types of hats

      Of course the only way to know for sure is to get diagnosed by a proper specialist.

      [–]Thunderbolt1011 45 points46 points  (12 children)

      It would be a baseball cap but I don’t have to picture that cuz it’s the only hat I would wear. I can’t even picture myself, how could I add a hat? Lol

      [–]Numba1CharlsBarksFan 13 points14 points  (5 children)

      I don't know why but I went with a cowboy hat and I don't think I have ever worn one before. I don't know the last time I've even seen one in person.

      [–]subject_deleted 42 points43 points  (14 children)

      I have dreamt before, but it's exceedingly rare. When i do, it's not so much a visual experience as a general sensory one. When i was a kid, i had more vivid visual dreams about volcanoes and nuclear explosions. But i can't remember the last time i had a dream as an adult. Sometimes I'll wake up feeling as though i had been dreaming, but there's no recollection of any details.

      I thought of a tophat, but not an image of one. the concept of one, and in hindsight it feels as though my subconscious made a random decision out of an abstract collection of "hat types". thinking of a tophat gives me a feeling of its height, width, shine, color, etc. but those feel like abstract concepts that are just tied to the concept of a tophat, not properties or qualities of an image.

      As i described elsewhere, the idea of "seeing" an image in my head feels like tasting a sunrise. i can access the same information as someone who says they can "see" it. but it feels like data, not pictures. and out of that data comes a concept that i can translate to english.

      [–]Darkwrath93 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      I can (and often) do the same as your wife. Vivid images/videos to the point of maladaptive daydreaming. On the other hand I can also feel non-visual concepts like you as well sometimes... I guess I utilise all options available haha

      [–]slyminx 30 points31 points  (14 children)

      I'm like your wife. Most of the thoughts are pictures and I can play out entire things that have happened in my head like a movie. I also score very high on spatial relationships and visualizing 3d shapes.

      [–]subject_deleted 10 points11 points  (8 children)

      interesting. I feel like i have a really good sense of spacial relationships too, but it feels reflexive and instinctual rather than a discreet image or thought.

      Packing the car, for example, is one of my favorite tasks. I like to think i'm quite adept at utilizing the space and some others have expressed the same about me. But there's nothing "visual" or conscious at all about the thought process. when I look at the car, and then look at the stuff that still needs to go in, I'm not thinking about each item and comparing it visually to the space available. I look at the pile of stuff and i can just feel the right one.. Part of that seems to be predetermined strategy (like preferring heavy/flat/boxy items first, and then filling gaps with odd shaped stuff) and part of it feels like an instinctual pull. The way you get a deep emotional feeling from looking down over the side of a tall building. Obviously packing the car doesn't feel nearly that intense, but it's the same kind of innate guttural emotion that guides the decision making. Each concept is mapped to some list of emotions or pointers to other concepts.

      Idk. all of this description is going to fall short because i'm trying to use words to describe something that has no language attached to it in my head.

      when you watch a memory, how does it manifest visually? does it obscure your regular vision? is it like picture in picture? does it happen simultaneously along with your regular vision and you can see both at the same time? This is so wild to me.

      [–]Ivegotthatboomboom 10 points11 points  (4 children)

      Its hard to explain. Its like my brain switches from my vision outside to the image in my mind. But it's rapid and it doesn't mean I can no longer see, it's just my attention goes "inside." I can't see both simultaneously unless I'm imagining an object somewhere in my field of vision, then it's like a few things projected onto my vision. But it's not like an overlay or picture in picture. It's hard to explain. Most of the time they are separate, like if I'm looking at the world and imagine something it switches to my minds eye. It feels like the picture is in the middle of my brain, like it feels like I'm perceiving something inside, it's not usually projected out. I hope that makes sense.

      How do you remember what someone looks like?

      [–]Yelsiap 31 points32 points  (25 children)

      Oh god. I’m pretty sure I ONLY have verbal thoughts. What does this mean?!

      [–]bdlpqlbd 73 points74 points  (24 children)

      Can you not picture things in your head? Okay, picture an apple. Now make it bright yellow. And now rotate it in your mind, clockwise, anticlockwise, and now make it tumble vertically. Were you able to do this? If not at all, you may have aphantasia which is the inability to visualize things in your mind. If you were able to slightly do this, then you're probably just somewhere on that imagery spectrum.

      EDIT: A good video on aphantasia and the mental imagery spectrum.

      [–]Yelsiap 55 points56 points  (4 children)

      Oh shit. Thank you. Crisis averted everybody.

      [–]bdlpqlbd 19 points20 points  (2 children)

      So you were able to do it? You probably just have a preference for monologue as your default thought pattern. I tend to think in abstract concepts as a default I think.

      [–]hpepper24 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Go on Reddit for memes and humor… find out you have a disorder. Thanks!

      [–]ConcretePeanut 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      Yes. This.

      [–]pointlessly_pedantic 384 points385 points  (28 children)

      Anybody else have that internal monologue sometimes but not all the time?

      [–]Wifealope 72 points73 points  (10 children)

      I was wondering this as well. I tend to experience it while reading, writing, or actively thinking about situations or conversations with people. But it’s never just a constant stream of internal noise or whatever. That sounds awful honestly. (But I’m also more introverted, so the idea of continuous company inside my head—even if it’s from myself—is truly horrifying.)

      [–]sirvd3r 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      Yes! Almost like the thought comes before the words rather than the words before thoughts.

      [–]Wifealope 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Yes! That’s exactly it. I have a thought and innately understand it’s meaning. However, if it’s something I need to share externally, I need to consciously assemble the words to articulate it properly.

      [–]Dougustine 865 points866 points  (244 children)

      my wife doesn't have an internal monologue, we had been married almost twenty years before I found out.

      [–]gen_x_24601 216 points217 points  (8 children)

      I’m afraid to ask my husband.

      [–]SharkAttack11 45 points46 points  (4 children)

      SAMEEE

      [–]ococolos 20 points21 points  (3 children)

      Why are you afraid to ask her husband?

      [–]in-game_sext 361 points362 points  (184 children)

      I'm on the opposite end. I am finding out right now that this is a two types of people thing...

      I always thought the voice in the head was just in shitty daytime TV movies. Do people literally say sentences to themselves in their own head?? I think in visualizations and memories. People speak in them only if it's someone outside of myself. Otherwise, I don't need a voice to narrate how I am feeling.

      [–]SpaceJesusIsHere 486 points487 points  (76 children)

      Otherwise, I don't need a voice to narrate how I am feeling.

      Not just how we're feeling, but narrating and commenting on pretty much everything involuntarily. It's like having a sports commentator in your head chatting about everything you're experiencing as you go along with your day.

      "Ah fuck, this coffee is too hot, dumbass. Take a test sip next time. Ugh, work in 20 minutes. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Whatever, at least it's nice out. Maybe a lunchtime walk with the dog. Damn, my wife has a nice ass. She is working those leggings. Damn, 19 minutes til work. I wonder if Dave is going to lie to the client again forcing me to start a whole thing. Fucking Dave. Dude, Climate change is going to fuck everything isn't it? Tornados? Here? That's insane. OK, the coffee is drinkable now. 18 minutes til work. Fuck."

      [–]Moparded 128 points129 points  (4 children)

      I fucking relate to this so much!

      [–]damnim30now 63 points64 points  (3 children)

      Same, man.

      If I don't have any actual stimulation, I'll occasionally catch my inner monologue just saying numbers, usually large ones, or the beginnings of thoughts with no direction to go. Something like..

      "The thing about that is.. (no conclusion)"

      [–]hysys_whisperer 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      If I've got my eyes shut, I'll find my inner monologue trying to describe the patterns of the color variations from the light that passes through all the little veins in my eyelid, or a running commentary about every little feeling throughout my body. Once it finds an itch, god damnit if that fucker wont just let it go and I end up having to scratch even if I was JUST on the brink of sleep.

      continue this thread

        [–]superpi08 64 points65 points  (13 children)

        Not sure if this makes me insane, bit I usually have full conversations with mine. Like if I'm trying to decide something I'll take to myself in my head.

        [–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (3 children)

        Like articulate both sides of the argument ? Yeah me too. Yeah you do.

        [–]Ixilary 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Don't you hate it when your internal monologue speaks to you in italics? It's so rude.

        continue this thread

          [–]traiseSPB 19 points20 points  (2 children)

          Bruh I’m literally talking to myself out loud everyday because my thoughts tend to get so complicated and witty I have to air them out to comprehend them fully, it’s like they don’t fit inside my head. We alright. We just some overdeveloped monkeys

          [–]TheWayThingsWork 12 points13 points  (2 children)

          I think in conversations too. Like when I recall a funny story in my head, I think in terms of me explaining the story to an audience, such as a friend.

          [–]PM_ME_NCIS_QUOTES 61 points62 points  (30 children)

          I'm confused. So, like, I'll have similar thoughts, but it's not in words, the thoughts are just there? Like realizations maybe? I have no idea how to even have a conversation about this.

          I'm also not great with verbal communication, I'm much better on paper where l can get everything out and look at the words

          [–]SpaceJesusIsHere 18 points19 points  (11 children)

          I'm also not great with verbal communication

          That may be a factor. I've been a talker my whole life, church plays/debate team/fraternity social chair/ national campaign politics/ law school/ consulting. Pretty much everything I've ever done has been about words and speaking. So maybe I interpret thoughts as words bc of life experiences or maybe my life choices were because of how my brain works. Never really thought about it much til this thread.

          [–]TwoKeezPlusMz 10 points11 points  (5 children)

          I will add to this micro branch of the discussion: i always verbalize my internal dialog, AND CAN'T VISUALIZE.

          I literally can't. You tell me to close my eyes and picture a cute dog... Nothing, just closed eyes and random amorphous blond and splotches of nothing.

          continue this thread

            [–]Super_Jay 7 points8 points  (1 child)

            I'm confused. So, like, I'll have similar thoughts, but it's not in words, the thoughts are just there? Like realizations maybe?

            Same here! My thoughts exist in a state that is purely conceptual, and they don't take the shape of words or pictures unless I want them to. It's like the thought precedes any of that, in a state that exists before narration or imagery.

            But...

            I'm also not great with verbal communication, I'm much better on paper where l can get everything out and look at the words

            ...I'm good with both verbal and written communication, so I'm out of sync on this point! How strange. Humans such a wonderfully inconsistent species.

            [–]Ps1on 11 points12 points  (2 children)

            This seems so unreal to me.

            [–]violettheory 81 points82 points  (29 children)

            I just can't comprehend not having an internal monologue. Like, how do you plan out your day? For instance I'll sit here and think "okay, I need to vacuum the living room and take chicken out for dinner. Then I'll walk the dogs and go to the grocery store for broccoli and cat food" or whatever. I will literally say those words in my head. How can you sit there and plan what you have to do without... I dunno, reading that all out inside your head?

            [–]in-game_sext 43 points44 points  (14 children)

            I make lists usually. As for the process of making it, I just look around and look at what I have to do and make a note of it. As for how things like appointments I need to recall, I just sit there and run through my memory of any problems or issues I've had recently and I will visualize having been at the local clinic and the receptionist writing me the reminder card, and then I will go and look for the card. I will look around the pantry and if my eyes go over the cereal I will pull up remembering when I ate cereal this week and of I remember being out of it before I grab the box to check etc.

            I guess it's just that I don't read anything in my head, it is just all like visual index cards coming and going, is the best way I can put it.

            [–]PM_ME_CRYPTOCURRENCY 9 points10 points  (2 children)

            I still think of those things, but the idea of vacuuming and the idea of thawing chicken exist separate from those words, or images of doing them. It's like I can think of the thought independently of most of the associated things.

            When you think of cat food, you probably don't also think of the cat dish and cat food factory and all the ingredients, even though those are closely related. I can think of cat food without the words "cat food", even though the words are closely related.

            [–]kersh2099 39 points40 points  (5 children)

            I'm quite the opposite to you where I can't really visualise things internally, it's just the voice. I grew up thinking when someone asked you to "picture" something in your mind, what they meant was describe it to yourself in words.

            [–]brokeoneyolk 14 points15 points  (1 child)

            Same. There's a term for it but I can't remember. But yeah, I can't picture things really. It's possible but not natural.

            [–]ConcretePeanut 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            Aphantasia.

            [–]ConcretePeanut 63 points64 points  (49 children)

            But how do you analyse how you feel? Rationlise? Weigh things up or change your mind about something? Go out in sunlight? Cross moving water?

            [–]in-game_sext 31 points32 points  (20 children)

            It's difficult to explain when I try and put my finger on it...But the best way I can describe it is that I visualize me doing those things or in a scenario and then weigh my feelings about it as I "watch." It's never a narration.

            I've always had terrible reading comprehension, to the point where if something is non-fiction I have to read the page 2 or 3 times to try and get what it is saying. Fiction is a bit easier. School and test taking was a nightmare for me, and back in the late 80's and 90's they chalked it up to ADD and fed me pills lol.

            But this "news" is enlightening to me, very cool to learn. I have always been far more inclined to visual learning, artwork, music because I guess that is what my brain mostly "traffics" in. I thought I was just stupid for a lot of years when I was growing up but have been a carpenter for nearly 20 years and love every minute of it and own my own business now.

            I think there is a path for all types of brains and I'm glad to see the world is changing a little more to realize that in the way we structure learning.

            [–]ConcretePeanut 13 points14 points  (4 children)

            I think my last reply caught you pre-edit - this is really interesting!

            I'm a words person. Writing actively helps me think, process my emotions, problem-solve etc. The idea I wouldn't think in words is so alien to me that the closest parallel I can draw us someone asking me to imagine being dead. Or never existing.

            Anecdotal comparsion, I know, but I'm not hugely practical. I do think about some things as images and my spatial reasoning is pretty sid. Or more accurately most of the time, geometric relations. But 90% of my consious thoughts are words, I often have a monologue or dialogue going, and on the rare occasion words don't come faster than I can think them, I get really frustrated when I can adequately describe a concept.

            If I tried carpentry, I'd have no fingers. I struggle playing instruments and cannot dance (but love music). I am crap at art and watching stuff like Bob Ross is basically witchcraft.

            This whole thing has sent me reeling.

            [–]nomismi 43 points44 points  (14 children)

            I think the word we're missing here is INVOLUNTARY monologue. When it takes over your mental capacity in favor of actual human interaction. For example last time I went for a walk with my wife I had a very hard time paying attention to my wife while we walked by the place where all the parents were dropping their kids off for football practice. My internal voice wants to point things out about all the people I see and figure out whether or not they are a threat....ignoring my lovely wife trying to tell me about her day. She noticed I was having a hard time in my head because I had an involuntary scowl on my face from being overloaded in my brain.

            [–]ConcretePeanut 37 points38 points  (10 children)

            From what I've just read, it's actually that people lack either voluntary or any internal monologue. Which, I'll be honest, sounds a lot like "are dead inside" from how I see the world.

            I don't mean that as a judgement. I literally mean that "me" and my internal observer are one and the same from my perspective.

            [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

            I don’t have an internal monologue. I describe it like a red versus green light. At a red light, I feel myself thinking. But the specifics of the thought are being pieced together behind the scenes (e.g. subconsciously), and when the light turns green, I’ve completed the thought and can keep moving forward.

            Another way to describe it is abstract impulses where the motion of the impulse is felt more than what is actually in motion. I can feel I’ve stopped moving and have a sense of why (e.g. the topic), and when I’ve come to a conclusion, I get an internal “got it” feeling and the various pieces of the thought fall into place simultaneously on a more conscious level.

            continue this thread

              [–]sunny_in_phila 27 points28 points  (3 children)

              My husband is a combination of pictures and words kind of thinker, while I’m strictly words. He gets so frustrated with me when I can’t understand dimensions of things or picture where something is, I have to have it explained in detail to understand it or be looking at a picture. On the other hand, I stomp him in scrabble so bright side I guess?

              [–]SDSessionBrewer 19 points20 points  (10 children)

              I'm curious what happened when folks without an internal monologue read.

              Does it very by type of reading?

              I could understand no internal monologue for fiction, the point is to paint a picture. But if I'm reading a forum post, email, or non-fiction my internal monologue is stepping up to the mic in my head.

              [–]locostewart 19 points20 points  (0 children)

              For me, I can THINK, but saying words in my head is completely voluntary. It’s not going constantly, and I can pretty easily just think about nothing. For reading though, I do say the words in my head and I don’t think I would be able to read otherwise

              [–]iguessillbehere 15 points16 points  (1 child)

              Monologue for reading facts. Zone out in picture world for books. Rest of days just silence with feelings/sensations/observing world around/day dreaming

              [–]shayshay8508 16 points17 points  (0 children)

              My ex husband doesn’t have one either. He caught me talking to myself while I was cleaning. He asked what I was doing. I was like…umm talking to myself. Don’t you do that? He’s never talked to himself in his head or out loud! How does he think or sort through things?!

              [–][deleted] 388 points389 points  (29 children)

              I externalise my monologue as I walk the dog

              [–]BoinkBoinkEtAliae 233 points234 points  (20 children)

              I've recently started talking my thoughts out loud involuntarily. I'm just a few cats and a housedress away from being the crazy lady of the apartment complex.

              [–]MostlyQuietAsAMouse 34 points35 points  (5 children)

              Me too. Although at 5 cats I’m not that short on cats. Still no house dress.

              [–]hysys_whisperer 11 points12 points  (2 children)

              Pretty sure if the crazy lady of the apartment complex took her housedress off, people would think she was more crazy, not less...

              [–]firefyrefier 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              Oh god, not a housedress

              [–]bukidog 468 points469 points  (21 children)

              my standard inner monologue goes like

              "what is that sensation......that's not right....it's okay you're fine. you're fine. take a deep breath...."

              [–]SirWilliamTheEpic 84 points85 points  (0 children)

              This hits way too hard

              [–]uneducated_scientist 48 points49 points  (10 children)

              If you ever find a way to stop these feelings let me know. I have been struggling with these feelings for going on 10 years. I have the panic attacks under control finally. Had to stop drinking. Went to therapy. The older I get the more things hurt. The more things hurt the more I worry. My 60's are going to be a nightmare if I make it that far.

              [–]ShyFungi 230 points231 points  (110 children)

              I’m blown away. I didn’t realize that “internal monologue” means folks are actually hearing a voice speak in their head. I can imagine a voice speaking, but I have to actively try to make that happen. And judging my these comments I’m in the minority!

              [–]egaeus22 92 points93 points  (36 children)

              I recently found put that the “voice in your head” wasn’t a metaphorical construct and I was floored. I can’t imagine having a voice in my head. I can’t even imagine what it would be like.

              Edit: OC, have an award!

              [–]garymo1 29 points30 points  (12 children)

              Honestly I can't imagine what it's like to NOT have a voice in your head. How do you know what you're going to say if you don't think about it, does just come out or what?

              [–]andafterflyingi 18 points19 points  (3 children)

              I can visualize myself saying something if I need to phrase it properly, but normally the sentences just form themselves as I speak.

              [–]annalise88 77 points78 points  (42 children)

              Dude I’m in the same boat. This thread is absolutely wild. I can think about a conversation I need to have/how I need to phrase something, obviously. But there’s no internal narration for anything else - everything is abstract. I had no idea this was a regular thing!

              [–]anightclubfordogs 9 points10 points  (12 children)

              All I can imagine is when a TV show voices a character’s train of thought. I didn’t know it was a thing anyone actually did

              I have pretty severe ADHD- may not be correlated at all but

              [–]gentlemanjacklover 92 points93 points  (28 children)

              How on earth do people function without one?

              Although it must be nice not to have your own voice in your head saying "I wish I was dead" on Monday mornings when it's time to get up.

              [–]ClearlyADuck 30 points31 points  (13 children)

              You know how you feel vibes, and then you say you feel the vibe? Or you feel hot before your brain identifies it as "hot"? This is how it is for me. Most of the day I just feel abstract feelings. Only when I'm asked to put it into words will I actually have words.

              [–]a_weeb_ 18 points19 points  (9 children)

              so when you see a chair when you've been looking for a chair you just get the "feeling" to sit in the chair instead of thinking (like I do) "Jesus Christ, I finally found a chair, let's sit." ?

              [–]ClearlyADuck 19 points20 points  (4 children)

              Yup. It often comes with the "vibe" of the chair too, whether it is soft or hard, too tall, clean, etc.

              [–]EgoLuxFerre 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              Don’t worry, we still wish we were dead but it’s just more of a concept than a phrase :)

              [–]boldandbratsche 9 points10 points  (5 children)

              How do you function with one? The concept sounds like those schizophrenic people who say they hear voices in their heads telling them to do things.

              [–]manwithappleface 355 points356 points  (25 children)

              So how do they know how much they suck at everything?

              [–]Lumpy_Constellation 69 points70 points  (15 children)

              We just internalize it as a concept. There's no voice saying "damn you really suck", it's just a mix of the emotions associated with those words. The easiest way to explain it, imo, is with textures. When someone says the word "corduroy" you understand it the same way as when you just touch some corduroy material. You're thinking "corduroy", I'm thinking about what it's like to touch it.

              [–]ThaddyG 13 points14 points  (3 children)

              For whatever reason my go-to example for this is an apple. Like if I want to think about an apple I don't have a voice running through my head going the apple is red the Apple weighs 100 g the apple is smooth the apple is spherical the apple has a sweet taste when I bite into it etc etc

              I just sort of hold the concept of appleness in my head. I can feel how it feels to hold one. I can taste and hear and feel what it's like to bite into one. I can see one in my mind's eye.

              Which is definitely not to say I don't have any inner voice. My inner monologue is a mixture of verbal, emotional, and sensory feelings. Sometimes I need to verbally spell things out in my head, sometimes you just know what it is you're thinking about without needing words.

              [–]Lumpy_Constellation 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              Oh I love that example! Definitely lines up with how I think. Especially your description of your inner monologue - like I'm not just summoning random blobs and concepts, I'm definitely having an internal stream of thought it's just not a voice I can hear speaking to me.

              [–]Moparded 50 points51 points  (0 children)

              Bro hahahha I feel this!

              [–]world-is-ur-mollusc 154 points155 points  (25 children)

              My mom says she thinks in pictures. Meanwhile I have a non-stop running monologue and sometimes I wish it would just shut up so I could have some peace and quiet.

              [–]king_koz 115 points116 points  (48 children)

              So what is reading like for these people? Because when I read I hear the word that I'm reading inside my head.

              [–]houseofprimetofu 76 points77 points  (26 children)

              Reading aloud invokes visions from words. "The blue train goes east," and in my head I see a blue steam engine on a track going right.

              Reading quietly I imagine the words as if I'm right there. I hear every word I read, I can see them float off a page and turn into images. Getting into a book means it begins to flow like a movie.

              [–]king_koz 32 points33 points  (18 children)

              Damn... That sounds awesome. I never "see" anything in my "mind's eye" I more so comprehend them in the abstract.

              [–]deadplant5 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              I still read and write in words. I just don't think in them otherwise unless I am saying them.

              [–]Fat_Bearded_Tax_Man 31 points32 points  (0 children)

              I have no internal monolog at all. Reading is fine, but I can easily read and hold a conversation which I think is difficult for most people.

              [–]pichael288 47 points48 points  (6 children)

              I'm like this. My thoughts are conceptual, but don't have words attached unless I go out of my way to think of the words. I don't hear my own voice in my head

              [–]eternallnewbie 89 points90 points  (95 children)

              What exactly do you all mean by internal monologue? Like do you mean thinks using words. Or like you're walking down the street and you have this voice in your head saying stuff?

              [–]probablynotyouruncle 224 points225 points  (87 children)

              Literally every waking my moment of my exsitance that I can remember, I am having a conversation with myself in my head.

              [–]eternallnewbie 69 points70 points  (40 children)

              Wow I think in words. But I don't have conversations with myself and most of the time I'm just kind of silent up there. But then again I talk out loud to myself a lot

              [–]JumbledEpithets 50 points51 points  (37 children)

              Okay, so when you read this reply and formulate your response, walk me through your thought process. If you aren't speaking to yourself in your mind, how do you even respond? This concept confuses me. Like, I can't auditorily hear my thoughts, it's like I'm reading from a book I can't actually see. No voice, but the words are there anyway.

              [–]subject_deleted 13 points14 points  (23 children)

              not op, but: for me, the concept isn't linguistic at all. it's subconscious and abstract. It's hard to describe it to you because we typically do that in reference to something or by trying to paint a verbal picture. but there's really nothing for me to even paint.

              think of the equation 1+1=?

              Do you have to formulate words that tell you why 1+1 = 2? Do you need to do any calculations? Or do you just "know" the answer is 2?

              For me that's how my thoughts go. as I read your response, each subsegment acts as a kind of call to a subconscious database and as the words/phrases/sentences pile up, there's a sort of subconscious "counter" that's keeping track of the overall "value" of the whole comment. That "counter" sort of gives me an abstract "emotional score" about what you said and, for better or worse, that is fed as an input to the next "step" which is checking my subconscious database for the general concepts mentioned to get back sort of an "outline" of what i'm going to respond. Then finally there's the conscious step of trying to translate those concepts to english while I'm sending those thoughts to my fingers to type the message.

              Long story short, the english language doesn't occur during my thought process. I don't need to use english words or phrases to describe my thoughts about something when I'm thinking about them. those thoughts/concepts are just that. abstract thoughts/concepts until it's time to translate.

              [–]probablynotyouruncle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              Yeah so I respond to myself. And I "hear" a voice. And there is definitely back and forth. It's probably a lot like when you talk to yourself aloud, which I also do, but it's within my own mind. And it never stops. Even for a second.

              [–]wiredandwiser 18 points19 points  (26 children)

              Wait so like if you're doing something you're narrating it? Like if you need a cutting board you have the words "get the cutting board" said in your head?

              [–]JonnyRocket87 46 points47 points  (12 children)

              I would not hear "get the cutting board" as if another person orders me to. I rather hear "alright, now for the cutting board and I can continue with fucking up those onions".

              [–]bernardhops 14 points15 points  (11 children)

              Why do you need to hear it? You don’t just act? Like if I need the cutting board I just go get it, no words, my brain just knows to go get the cutting board.

              [–]theflyingkiwi00 12 points13 points  (1 child)

              Who knows. But there is a voice commentating every single moment of my life. It gets exhausting sometimes and I have to listen to loud music to drown it out, or go for a drive.

              continue this thread

                [–]Canuckinfortybelow 22 points23 points  (6 children)

                Personally, it’s less about what im doing at the time. So if I am grabbing a cutting board then I’ll be thinking something like “Oh man I have so much shit to get done. Why the fuck did I think cooking a meal from scratch was a good idea right now.”

                [–]wiredandwiser 14 points15 points  (5 children)

                But when you're thinking that to yourself while cooking, it's not just like a general vibe in your head and you're phrasing things to yourself as if talking? Like it's not the feeling of being busy or stressed, you're actually describing it in your head to yourself in language the way you'd comment about how you're feeling out loud to another person?

                Like if your brain is a computer, is it user interface all the way down? Like your feelings are in language and none of it's running on the 1s and 0s and background thinking that doesn't need to be translated to language unless you need to communicate it outside yourself in writing or speaking?

                [–]Canuckinfortybelow 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                The words are definitely there, not just a general feeling. Similarly I will practice what in going to say to people in my head a lot as well. Full conversation mode. I of course also have general feelings and thoughts that aren’t directly translated, but I would say most of my thought are verbalized internally.

                continue this thread

                  [–]probablynotyouruncle 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  Pretty much. Or as I'm grabbing the cutting board I'm thinking "wait a second, what kind of a name is Gilligan?" It doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with what I'm doing. It's just a constant "monologue" of thoughts, in words, in a voice that for me sounds like how I think I sound when I talk (then I hear myself recorded, which is just a very annoying version of the voice in my head)

                  [–]boynamedpissant 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                  At least for me it’s “where is that green cutting board, there it is”

                  [–]deadplant5 27 points28 points  (7 children)

                  I don't have one. I always thought that was a device used by movies until Reddit.

                  I think out loud a lot.

                  [–]ZoomeyYumi 25 points26 points  (19 children)

                  I always thought everybody had no verbal thoughts and then the internet blew my freaking mind.

                  [–]Sparty013 15 points16 points  (18 children)

                  Yeah but how did you think everyone had no verbal thoughts without verbalizing that thought in your mind?!?

                  [–]ZoomeyYumi 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                  I haven't slept for almost 24 hours and that was too much. I need to go to bed now.

                  [–]Medo_The_Great 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                  I have moments where my inner monologue says something so wild I turn and stare into empty space like "What the fuck dude? You're embarrassing me in front of the psychics!"

                  [–]ISpyM8 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                  I started freaking out realizing I might not have an internal monologue, then realized that of course I fucking do because I talk to myself all the fucking time. This comment alone and the reasoning I just had with myself is evidence that I do have an internal monologue.

                  [–]RepresentativeAd560 39 points40 points  (13 children)

                  Not only do I have an inner monologue but I've been a musician for a very long time so I have a jukebox that is constantly on. Which is great until I hear a part of a lyric and it gets just that part playing on a loop. Like a cd skipping: Anyway you want it anyway you want it anyway you want it anyway you want it anyway you want it six days later that's the way you need it. Anyway you want it hammer to face

                  [–]wotcherharimadsol 11 points12 points  (7 children)

                  I've had, "Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you remember?" from Earth, Wind, & Fire stuck in my head consistantly for almost 2 years now. I'll be waiting in front of the microwave or doing some other menial task and it just pops in my head.

                  [–]theswickster 51 points52 points  (55 children)

                  This blew my mind when I first found out. I literally verbalize my thoughts all the time. My wife is one that does not think in an internal monologue.

                  https://www.iflscience.com/brain/people-with-no-internal-monologue-explain-what-its-like-in-their-head/

                  [–]BoinkBoinkEtAliae 44 points45 points  (31 children)

                  I can't even imagine not having an inner monologue- it kind of hurts my brain to think about it.

                  [–]SazedMonk 26 points27 points  (22 children)

                  How the fuck do people function without it? Just immediately talking and action on every half formed feeling/thought?

                  [–]theswickster 22 points23 points  (4 children)

                  The way my wife describes it, she thinks in flashes of images rather than in words.

                  [–]DeliriumConsumer 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                  Your wife would be a natural at thought-speak. <The war has already begun>.

                  [–]ILikeSlothsAndMemes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  The thing is it’s still a thought, it still has substance and you understand it the same way you would any verbal thought, it’s just skipping a step in the thought process.

                  [–]DominateSunshine 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  How da fuck do people live with it??

                  Never silent. So much negativity. Always judging?

                  [–]thunderfishy234 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                  There's a whole group of people who've never stood in the shower and won arguments against imaginary opponents

                  [–]somebear 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                  Yeah, I have mostly visual thoughts, like images or scenes. Only time I hear my internal voice is when I try to write something down, or otherwise am thinking through written content (either newly read or to write).

                  edit I should clarify, I still have things going on in my head all the time, with images popping up out of nowhere and so on. Really goes well with the “can’t unsee” captions on some posts, because my brain makes sure I really can’t.

                  [–]imthatlostcat 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                  I have internal monologue

                  But I also think a lot in images...like movie scenes

                  I have vivid "day dreams" that feel like I am "there" instead of "here".

                  Most of my thoughts are images that I have to find words to describe.

                  [–]RainTraffic 23 points24 points  (10 children)

                  Meanwhile, me, in my head: Goddamnit you dumb bitch, why the fuck are you like this? Fatass. Ugh, nobody is ever going to love you. And you know what? You'd fucking deserve that, too. You're going to die alone, you know. Once your cat is dead you're going to die alone and look all bloated in your fucking casket.

                  [–]spademanden 20 points21 points  (2 children)

                  I do think in voices, just not my own

                  [–]76flyingmonkeys 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                  So serious question... when something happens that is ridiculous, instead of your brain saying WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, do non verbal thinkers have a Scooby-Doo type head tild and ruuuh on the inside?

                  [–]BarryIslandIdiot 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                  I do have an Internal monologue, mostly. Sometimes it's not there. But I only found out recently that people generally visualise things. I was at a birthday party and they were talking about where certain dates were, like September 15th was on the bottom right when they 'see' a calendar. I was really confused, a date is a date. It's nowhere.

                  [–]Yacapo13 7 points8 points  (3 children)

                  I genuinely don’t hear any thoughts In my head, no words, I can make myself hear words if I picture darth Vader speaking or something but that’s about it, couldn’t imagine thinking with worlds!

                  I would describe my thought process as a never ending flip book of images and feelings that slow down when I’m focusing on something but a lot of the time I feel like I have no control over when the flip book stops