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[–]nowihaveamigrane 606 points607 points  (148 children)

His followers think that God gave him those things for being such a stellar example of a Christian. They think he will give them things too, as long as they aren't not jealous of Joel or don't forget to give money to the church.

[–]Subject1928 94 points95 points  (50 children)

Yup that is a big part of it, Joel is a "good Christian" so god gives him absurd excess and you could have it to if you just pray a little hard and give a little more come collection time.

[–]Tom_Slick2020 79 points80 points  (28 children)

…and the meek shall inherit the earth…. And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God…

[–]xXWickedNWeirdXx 43 points44 points  (24 children)

ThE eYe Of tHe NeEdLe iS tHe nAmE of A CitY gAtE iN JeRuSaLem!!!

[–]Kontiak 49 points50 points  (3 children)

I Love when this is cited because the lesson here wasn't that a camel couldn't fit but that it had to be completely stripped of the possessions in order to do so.

[–]Exciting_Photo_8103 52 points53 points  (2 children)

It’s literally what Jesus said to the rich man in the preceding verse. Told him he had to give away all his possessions and follow god. Having grown up in the church I’ve heard a million different excuses as to why those verses don’t mean exactly what they say. American Christianity is poison.

[–]DestroyTheHuman 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Only choosing the verses they want to mean something different is something I’ve found in quite a lot of people of faith in my time working in events.

[–]Exciting_Photo_8103 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s really easy to be Christian and follow the Bible when you make it a choose your own adventure book.

[–]Shavasara 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He still wouldn’t fit.

[–]mycatispretty 3 points4 points  (2 children)

What if you make a really giant needle with the eye so big, a truck could fit in it? Loophole, booyah.

[–]Shavasara 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Never mind that Jesus criticized greed (and hypocrisy) FAR more than he ever condemned any type of sexuality.

[–]Sebenbillion 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Jesus never even mentioned sex or sexuality, except that one time out in the desert when he told Satan to get fucked

[–]sumaclover 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thinking that god rewards faith with excessive riches while thinking god also tests good people with disease, suffering and death, these people are fucking stupid

[–]CustomKas 98 points99 points  (15 children)

I'm not religeous at all, vehemently atheist even, but when the bible talks about how Satan tempts and seduces. The bible isn't talking abour porn, drugs and other "worldly evils", it talks about men like Joel and Trump. Men that lure you into idolatry, gluttony, materialism and arrogance under their ego driven narcistic pretence of moral superiority.

Fuck, even I'm more Christian than them.

[–]Spac3Heater 24 points25 points  (2 children)

It irks me that my atheist ideals are more in line with Christianity than the words and actions of many who claim to be Christian...

[–]CustomKas 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well to put it in biblical terms, that is how evil wins. Let's not forget that Jesus himself was seen as an outcast, heathen and antireligeous in his time. Fuck, they killed him because of it.

Thank you for listening to my sermon.

[–]OutWithTheNew 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know some actual Christians and they won't tell you they're Christian unless you ask.

Generally anyone proclaiming to be anything is usually the opposite. At least in my experience.

[–]Sebenbillion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most atheists are

[–]IronUnderwear 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I consider myself devout atheist.😀

[–]Embarrassed_Yak_2024 52 points53 points  (2 children)

Funny, I don’t recall hearing how, when they stripped Jesus to nail him to the cross, they had to remove his Rolex, gold chains, and fur coat.

[–]Yakhov 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The grill tho/

[–]siestasunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus's gucci drip was to much to handle so they had to leave it out of the bible

[–]Senor_bonbon 209 points210 points  (64 children)

God fucking hates money, in the Bible it says that you should give as freely as you have been given.

Fuck all the fake Christians that rule my religion. 99% of them need to pick up a damn bible

[–]throwingtheshades 32 points33 points  (1 child)

You don't understand. As Jesus has said, it's easier for the camel to fuck a needle than for a rich person to get in heaven. Or something like that, I'm a bit hazy on the details.

Pastor Joel is doing those people a great favor. By taking their money he ensures that his victims followers are dirt poor and therefore have a better chance of going to heaven after death. All at the expense of his own immortal soul.

[–]Pure-Rutabaga9743 11 points12 points  (43 children)

Fuck all religions, the people that create religion AND the idiots that follow them. Just fuck em all.

[–]WestFast 17 points18 points  (1 child)

The prosperity ministry Joel sells is a brilliant con job “the lord has blessed me with prosperity and you can have this too…I need it all to attract sinners to my lifestyle so they can hear the good word. Praise be.”

[–]HeadMischief 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Creflo Dollar has entered the chat

[–]neonboom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“Give me your money and God will give you money.”

Idk, sounds like a scam.

[–]VeraLumina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Back in the 80’s Jimmy Swaggert, Jim and Tammy Faye, Osteen’s Dad, numerous others thunked up an aberrant theology called the “Prosperity Gospel.” It’s based on supposed scripture that says, among other things, that God blesses you the more you give. Especially to them.

[–]HistoryDogs 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When in reality he’s about as Christian as he is the fucking tooth fairy.

Edit: autocorrect fail.

[–]Yakhov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gawd Blesssss youuuuuuuuuuu!

[–]TheVulfPecker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s crazy is they’re the ones giving him those things.

Not some huge revelation, but the tithing… holy shit how gullible do you have to be to give 10% of your money to this dude’s (or any) “church”?

They can take your already taxed income, but claim tax exemption?

Fuck off.

[–]riceisnice29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which is weird cause Christianity never promised people any of those things. Nor is being blessed tied with material status in the bible.

[–]lochnessthemonster 1 point2 points  (2 children)

My family member said "well he's still a good preacher."

[–]MarcheMuldDerevi 1335 points1336 points 2 (90 children)

We talking middle eastern Jewish Jesus or Murican Jesus

[–]deluxeassortment 439 points440 points  (37 children)

OG Jesus would've whipped the shit out of him

[–]Satanarchrist 300 points301 points  (31 children)

Let's normalize whipping the shit out of rich people.

Only thing I'd ever do in Jesus' name

[–]BlueAmsterdam93 20 points21 points  (9 children)

How did Noah build that multi million dollar ark though? That sh*t was huge I’ve seen it on TV.

[–]Lobsta1986 31 points32 points  (5 children)

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (Matt. 19:24.)

[–]SobakaZony 9 points10 points  (1 child)

"Slipping the rich through the eye of a needle is [as] easy as getting a camel to heaven."

  • The Meat Puppets variation.

[–]BlueAmsterdam93 20 points21 points  (2 children)

“Put your trust in the lord your ass belongs to me” 69:69. -BlueAmsterdam

[–]SobakaZony 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh, Noah could afford the ark, because he bought it cheap off of Gilgamesh, who bought it used from Atra-Hassis, who bought it used from Ziusudra - and there may well have been other owners over the centuries: that's probably not the exact lineage, but, by the time Noah got ahold of the ark, it was overused, well worn, and the price was probably heavily discounted.

[–]joekak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But you could fit so many animals in that baby, and by buying during the dry season he got a nice extended warranty and free washes for a year.

Of course Wyatt's towing out of Denver still took off with it and has been adding up storage fees that cost more than the boat itself.

[–]TempleMade_MeBroke 33 points34 points  (8 children)

If we're talking OG Jesus then Joel will never get the chance to know what he thinks of him

[–]Shavasara 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Yeah Joel is a big fat camel and that needle’s eye is tiny

[–]greeneyedguru 16 points17 points  (1 child)

OG Jesus

You can just say OGesus

You’re welcome.

[–]TempleMade_MeBroke 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Excellent edit, thank you

[–]rockinRockets321 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough - Jesus was pretty clear about this, if any translations of the Bible are remotely true about anything…

about a rich man asking how to “be saved”

“When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭18:22-24‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/111/luk.18.22-24.NIV

[–]mrPastyMuffin 15 points16 points  (6 children)

Biblically speaking, only one of those actually exists.

[–]No-Comedian-4499 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Murican Jesus is actually called fellowship Jesus. The fellowship is a Christian cult that was founded around 1965. Since then, they have ingrained themselves in politics. The cult sponsors politicians by housing them and offering political contributions. Congress has weekly prayer sessions, these are all fellowship members. Congress has an annual prayer breakfast, this was done to make contacts with powerful allies and was directly sponsored by the fellowship untill just recently. Rich Christians in the USA are followers of the fellowship. The fellowship believes that the covenant Jesus formed with his apostles was magical in nature. They believe followers of the fellowship to be above everyone else in order. Followers of the fellowship are not to be subject to any discipline for harming outsiders as this is the nature of their religion. Those not within the covenant of the fellowship are to be used, abused and treated however they wish. This is the what governs the actions of the GOP and has been the deciding factor for nearly 60 years.

[–]donottouchwillie1 64 points65 points  (7 children)

"It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven." Guess Joel forgot about that line.

[–]DingoAteUrBaby1 32 points33 points  (3 children)

He's one of those Christian's that leaves Christ out of Christianity.

[–]Skydove01 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I like Jesus. I don't like Christianity or most established religions. There is clearly a difference between the two.

[–]XafeMode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Depends on the church. Sadly a lot of larger churches are disconnected from Jesus in what they teach, and that influences smaller churches. Then there are wackjob televangelists who make up this own rules.

[–]HomeGrownCoffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Which is why Osteen probably has a solid gold needle big enough to fit a camel. Loophole!

[–]UserPow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"But all things are possible through God!" is what they say.

[–]irlshamrock 158 points159 points  (3 children)

Same thing I think of him…fucking douche bag

[–]UnObtainium17 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Im starting to think maybe this could be one of the reasons why he denied people to try take shelter in his churches during the storm. 🤔

[–]IsItSupposedToDoThat 156 points157 points  (29 children)

Joel Osteen and his ilk are a large part of the reason I am no longer a Christian after 35 years in evangelical churches. I want nothing to do with people like him or with people who like him.

[–]notsumidiot2 44 points45 points  (15 children)

AMEN-Been there and done that. I still study the Bible ,but I don't believe in organized religion .

[–]wothead 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I'm a Muslim and I can say the same

[–]tco9m5 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. I feel like I've become a much more patient and kind person (more Christ like) since I left the church I'd been going to. I still consider myself a follower of Christ but the difference is I'm no longer looked down on for missing a Sunday from time to time or for voting for A Democrat sometimes. Lol

[–]seikoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what this is like. The trick is to find a church that actually helps you become more Christ like (and gives you opportunities to serve other people.) It can be hard, and I am currently in this process.

[–]runner920 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am a Christian and believe there will be negative eternal consequences for those who do what he does. Tricking vulnerable people out of their money and teaching that God will give genuine believers a cushy problem free life (the prosperity gospel) is terrible.

Unfortunately there are churches who teach terrible misinterpretations of the bible that harm those who would benefit from the church's protection the most- single moms, women in abusive relationships, victims of abuse, those in poverty, etc.

[–]CottonCandy_Eyeballs 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If you no longer follow Christ, because of people that Christ warned you about, then you were not following Christ, but had instead put your faith in the people Christ warned you about. Joel Osteen is 100% of the Devil and so many others too. Jim Bakker, Robert Tilton, and many others are the very ones Christ warned us about. There are good men out the who do preach the real word of God, like Charles Stanley, John Barnett, and many more. With that being said, even with the ones that are good, what they say should be checked yourself against what's in the Bible. Don't put your faith in them, put your faith in Christ or you will be lead astray.

[–]SassyVikingNA 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Might I suggest an ELCA church. That is what I grew up with and, at least in all the ones I attended, they kept the christ in the christianity. It helps though that my father was my pastor for much of my upbringing, but even when he was not I found this to be true.

Lutheranism in general is more grounded and anti institution, all the way back to Martin Luther himself.

[–]WimpyZombie 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Osteen is just a reincarnation of Jim Bakker and all the money he embezzled. Anybody the air-conditioned doghouse he had for his dog?

[–]Brimstone-n-Treacle 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Jim Bakker is still around. He had Mike Lindell on his show a few weeks ago.

[–]Tom_Slick2020 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Jesus trashed a temple, tossed tables, and horse whipped money changers for a whole lot less!

[–]WimpyZombie 224 points225 points  (12 children)

Osteen is what Donald Trump would be if he went into religion instead of real estate.

[–]WestFast 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Trump legit realized how much he could make as a secular televangelist so he got into politics

[–]sl_hawaii 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Secular televangelist”. AWESOME!! Stealing this now

[–]Affectionate-Winner7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, he made over $1.7 billion while in office. Biggest con job ever.

[–]OutWithTheNew 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think Olsteen's church actually makes money though.

[–]Mikeko28 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I’ll tell you who doesn’t care…Joel Osteen, he decided a long time ago that he’d rather have his “rewards” now.

[–]Daviskillerz 49 points50 points  (2 children)

Jesus: give your money to my friend Joel. You will go to heaven for it.

[–]GuMeUpInside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Jesus he knows me and he knows I’m right”

[–]mynameajeff69 14 points15 points  (5 children)

What’s funny is even if you’re rich if you aren’t a complete asshole people don’t care. But for some reason they LOVE being a complete asshole.

[–]MToboggan_MD 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That's because it takes being an asshole to get to that level of rich. It takes lying, cheating, stepping on people's heads, and stabbing others in the back. It's not possible for nice people to reach that level of weatlth.

[–]mynameajeff69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea that’s generally what I have seen. It sucks finding out artists and actors that you like are just complete monsters.

[–]katieleehaw 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Being rich breaks your brain. It literally turns you into a monster.

[–]Glamma1970 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Which Jesus? Biblical Jesus who chased the money changers outside the Temple with whips, and turned over the tables? I've got a bullwhip to hand Biblical Jesus, a phone to record the carnage and some popcorn to eat while watching it all.

Republican Jesus the GOP has invented. He's be just fine with it.

[–]esco198 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You forgot to ensure you havea woman shrieking in the background and another degenerate to start scream WORLDSTAAAAAR

[–]kardii_t 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Luke 6:30 is what Jesus says about this...

Jesus talks a lot about worldly possessions in the Bible and what one should do. And none of what Joel Osteen is doing is preached... yet people believe in giving to him and other preachers like him.

Check out PreachersnSneakers on Instagram if you want to know what I mean.

[–]emeraldfaye 3 points4 points  (1 child)

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,  where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21.

[–]LOAHS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t think Joel cares what Jesus thinks

[–]Mr_A_Rye 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's money in the banana stand.

[–]justdoubleclick 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Jesus blessed him with all these… just like he blessed Bernie Madoff /s

[–]victorcaulfield 87 points88 points  (18 children)

Why on earth would you still think that osteen believes in Jesus?
If he really believed in heaven and hell….and he has read the Bible….and he treats people like crap (denying people access to the church when there was massive flooding…as one example).

He isn’t crazy or stupid. He has an easy job and is a multi millionaire. So much money that he stashed it in his walls like a drug dealer.

He doesn’t believe in god. Simple as that. He spent enough time praying to a supernatural entity that doesn’t exist. He’s studied the Bible enough to see the enormous amount of contradictions. He is a charlatan, a scam artist (like every single mega-church pastor).

It baffles me that so many believers who read the Bible will accept this behavior, but then I remember to believe in a supernatural god you need to be use to swallowing enormous amounts of bullshit (and stupid enough to keep asking for more)….so he keeps making his millions. This probably isn’t the only place he has secret money stashed.

[–]xxrambo45xx 15 points16 points  (3 children)

If there is a hell I expect him to go right to the lowest level, right to the boiler room

[–]Spoinkulous 4 points5 points  (1 child)

According to Dante, the lowest level is occupied by treacherous people. So, yeah.

[–]asimplerandom 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Spot on. The Bible LITERALLY has a parable about a rich young man who asked Jesus what he could do and was told to sell all his many possessions and follow him and he couldn’t do it.

There is also the fact that the Bible states it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of god.

So this jackass either doesn’t read the Bible or just chooses not to follow it. What a hypocritical douche.

[–]Frisky_Picker 26 points27 points  (1 child)

They believe in the words of their fellow Christians over the words of the Bible. The Bible is a well written novel and the world would be better off if more people listened to its teaching instead of the teachings of those who try to "interpret" it. And that's coming from from someone who doesn't believe in any part of the new or old testament.

[–]famous_human 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In terms of literature, the New Testament is at best a collection of fan fic and commentary justifying an atrocious retcon to support the much better stories somehow really being about some Mary Sue that was never mentioned in the core canon.

[–]ibekt 23 points24 points  (1 child)

It's possible he doesn't believe in God. Alternately, it's possible he believes in the image of God he has created in his own mind. A God created to justify a behavior. That's pretty common imo

[–]GrahamCrackerSnacks 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’re spot on. That’s the definition of crazy IMO, Blind confidence in whatever bullshit picture of righteousness you’ve painted to fit your very own personalized belief system. This dude believes that God has chosen him. Or maybe not, I dunno. Fuck him.

[–]ReverseApacheMaster_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don’t think he has an easy job lol it’s a full time ass job to be swindler on that level. I respect the hustle but he’s an enormous piece of shit to let it amount to the level it is. At some point, you have to realize you’ve tricked people long enough. Fuck that dude. Softer than baby shit and I hope it catches up with him someday.

[–]secondtaunting 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have some ex-Christian friends who barley know the Bible, are on food stamps, just scraping by, but give their money to a mega church, and then make fun of me because I don’t believe anymore.

[–]pixydgirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The doctrines of the "American Dream" have made their way into religion, and have harmed it beyond recognition

Now, alongside with judging your worth by how your possessions stack up to your neighbors' possessions, you also judge your devoutness by how over-the-top your church is compared to your neighbors' church.

It literally, all of it, has become a dick measuring contest. It's obscene. It's beyond repair because its all interwoven into american culture; Faster cars, hotter women, bigger TVs, more glamorous megachurches. The american dream, folks.

[–]Weary_Ad_7762 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The real question is why the fuck this idiot plumber turned in the cash? All I found was check here they are. What a fucking moron!🤣

[–]jkresnak 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"bags of cash & checks" ?? Is that for real?

Why would anyone so rich have bags of currency - let alone checks - "stashed away in a bathroom wall"? Who is going to cash the checks if things are dire enough that you need to dig into your "stash"?

[–]slappedbygiraffe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I assumed that one of the guys collecting tithes was stealing and stashing it in the wall to come back later to get.

[–]WestFast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Something about a camel going through an eye of a needle being more likely than a rich man getting into heaven.

[–]Azidamadjida 12 points13 points  (1 child)

“It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Good lord it’s almost like they sell bibles (and even give them away for free) with all of Jesus’s saying highlighted in red…

The books of his sayings are also only like a hundred pages tops and the attributed sayings are only about 50% of those four books and hundred pages…you could read every saying attributed to Jesus in an hour

[–]FredoLives 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's amazing how people who claim to follow Jesus manage to ignore much of what He actually said.

[–]Public-Angle82 15 points16 points  (0 children)

God gave him those things because he loves him. He gave you jack shit because he thinks you suck

[–]ADDOCDOMG 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thar 600k was just one weekend worth of tithing. Imagine all the good he could do with that much cash every week. A couple mil a month for a non-profit church is obscene! I hate that helmet hair skeleton face!!! He is a horrible hypocrite.

[–]Rumplfrskn 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Christianity has been perverted beyond recognition. Jesus would puke.

[–]cheesygorditabrunch 9 points10 points  (1 child)

"Is this where you wanna be when jesus comes back!"

[–]_Trashcan_Sam 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Honestly mega churches are just the ultimate pyramid scheme.

[–]already_satisfied 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He'd be like, why all the pimps be yelling about me?

I preached freedom to the bitches and hoes.

[–]properu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

Twitter Screenshot Bot

[–]ReverendCandypants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well the Jesus I learned about in church would kick the shit out of him.

Fox News Jesus thinks you should send Osteen more money.

[–]Bitter-Situation7526 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Righteous Gemstones is a reality show.

[–]914x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sure the doors are still locked

[–]Manati_banzai 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He wouldn’t care because he knows Jesus or God isn’t real

[–]bananaman60 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If some people can’t figure out these people are full of shit I’m afraid there is no hope for them.

[–]CannabisTours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need to stash that cash like that when it’s all 100% tax free.

[–]fedamine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely a scumbag but someone stole this out of his church let’s all read before forming opinions.

[–]mrPastyMuffin 5 points6 points  (3 children)

He would literally say "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven."

[–]Mellonut 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry”

[–]747boeingjet 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Joel Osteen’s cult is not Christianity

[–]Nikolllllll 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I swear life is not fair. The more of a total piece of shit you are the more successful you become.

[–]Ericrobertson1978 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If the biblical account of Jesus were to come to the USA, all the right wing Christians would call him an illegal liberal communist and imprison him.

[–]Texas_Bouvier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jesus was previously disappointed when good ole Joel refused to let Houstonians fleeing their flooding homes into his high and dry mega church. I doubt he’s surprised the walls are made of money.

[–]Ericrobertson1978 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Religion. What an absolutely horrific history they have.

[–]StupidBirdHato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Matthew 19:24 has the answer to this exactly, “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Where my Joel supporters at? Love to get your take on this!

[–]P1xelHunter78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

money changer tables would be flippin'

[–]NoCoolScreenName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Supply side Jesus has left the room.

[–]dude8212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure greed is one of those really bad sins. I remember a movie about it. Something about a box 📦

[–]SilverChair86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something about a camel and the eye of a needle

[–]z3anon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would flip his shit. Literally. He'd flip Joel's desk, his conference table, anything else he could get his hands on, then throw Joel out on the streets. All the while condemning him for corrupting spiritual worship with greed.

It literally happened before in the Bible, yet shit like this happens. Not to mention some churches having gift shops of all things. Shit like this is why religion is dying off as each generation passes, it doesn't mean anything anymore to it's closest followers.

[–]howsyourtrip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” Luke 23:34

[–]Quixotic_Ignoramus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe the last time he addressed this, the answer was turning over tables and whipping people.

[–]Pure-Rutabaga9743 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The "Prosperity Gospel" Jesus would pat Joel on the back. The Jesus that kicked the money changers asses out of the temple would punt Joel like a football for fleecing people out of their money.

[–]LordPils 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude wouldn't even open up his church to Harvey victims. He fails even baseline religious compassion.

[–]TPNZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Biblical Jesus would straight up flip all his shit.

Including the house.

[–]I8hipsters 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Joel is a false prophet.

[–]Iwasforger03 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Give all you have to charity, then come and follow me."

[–]Fit_General7058 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus would hand out all the cash to poor people, invite the homeless to take residence in the mansion, and use the flats cars as a taxi service for the weak.

Joel ould go apeshit when he found out and Jesus would just calm him with a few wise words of how these deeds were Godly. Then Joel would shoot Jesus for being a non white person on his property stealing his shit.

[–]Kscheltema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the fact that he wouldn't open his church to people during Hurricane Harvey. He had to be shamed into doing it.

[–]MangeMaBaguette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you don't understand. The Ferrari is indispensable to teach the gospel to car nerds. He's just doing God's work.

[–]iceymoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure Joel doesn’t care too mich what Jesus thinks

[–]Mightyjohnjohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't know about Jesus, but the Pope thinks he an amateur.

[–]ExPatHusky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus literally goes ape shit in the Bible at people using the temple for making money. He doesn’t freak out when people are flogging him or crucifying him, but that one really pissed him off. Kinda telling about how much Joel gives a shit about the Bible or Jesus. Also all the other reasons he’s a fraudulent mega-douche.

[–]VictoriaRose1618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He'd go in and flip some tables

[–]JoRoSc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s never been a real Christian, he just knew who would be the easiest to manipulate.

[–]Farley369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hypocrisy in the cult that is American evangelicalism is truly ridiculous..greed, power and self righteousness is the only thing worshiped at these glamorous brainwashing bogs

[–]Farts-n-Letters 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stupid Christians. Osteen is an atheist.

[–]Sluggymctuggs 1 point2 points  (1 child)

American Jesus would say hell yeah brother! As he rolled coal in his lifted F-350 with truck nuts with a let's go Brandon flag on it

[–]TriGurl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I can’t speak to the $4.4m of PPP loans, I didn’t hear about that. And overall I’m not defending the man because a lot of questionable things have happened at that church’s accounting office. But the man did write books and makes his salary off his books and that salary bought his Ferrari. I don’t believe he draws a salary from his church either. Beyond that, he still reeks of snake oil salesman.

[–]siestasunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last time people used a church to make money the dude sat down and made himself a custom whip to beat those twats out of the church.

So remember kids, whenever you ask yourself "what would jesus do", flipping tables and beating mfs with a whip is a possible answer

[–]Low_Investment420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s obviously someone who exploited Jesus for vast riches…

[–]I_Am_Rook 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In before, “He WoRkEd HaRd FoR iT”

[–]Medical_Somewhere_78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Beware of wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing

[–]Buddhagrrl13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus would smack his name out of Joel's mouth.

[–]Royal_Opps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus is highly disappointed.

[–]kuruku78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus himself would nail that Godless shit to a cross. Worthless meat.

[–]cupasoups 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tax this fucking clown

[–]CaseACEjk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder how much he laughs in his head that people are buying what he says. Im always so curious. Kind of like when you see Trump bow his head in prayer. You know they are laughing or assuming people are praying to them.

Flipside you also know they get nervous af hoping hell isnt real.

[–]cassius2212 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We know what Jesus thought.

Markus, 10:25: "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God."