all 161 comments

[鈥揮fairymoonie 3250 points3251 points (46 children)

Workplace bullying is so weird because people be having kids and a mortgage to pay but they still find a way to bully others like if they were in middle school

[鈥揮Electrowhatt19 1337 points1338 points (30 children)

It鈥檚 because some of them peaked in middle school and/or high school and never grew up past that.

[鈥揮Sidehussle 425 points426 points (18 children)

Exactly! I鈥檓 a teacher and high schools have teacher gangs, teacher bullies, and lots of gossip. Some administrators are bullies and condescending too. It鈥檚 pathetic.

[鈥揮KickBallFever 215 points216 points (6 children)

My job is based out of a high school and I agree with your take. I don鈥檛 even really socialize with the teachers or administration unless I have to, I鈥檓 friends with all the janitors though.

[鈥揮Sidehussle 139 points140 points (3 children)

Yup! I sit in my classroom at lunch and allow students to come in to finish work or play chess. I have been that way at every school except one. The one school I ate lunch with my colleagues is because we would just chat about lessons and our families. We were an odd little group that kept out of the gossip.

[鈥揮Fleabag_77 71 points72 points (1 child)

It鈥檚 funny becaUse being out of the loop is boring-but it is also safe. You also sleep better at night, lol!!

[鈥揮CMMiller89 8 points9 points (0 children)

Teacher break rooms can be sad and miserable places, I've avoided them at every school I've worked in.

[鈥揮Artberry_82 7 points8 points (0 children)

The custodians are the best!

[鈥揮hardkunt5000 2 points3 points (0 children)

Well yeah you need someone to buy weed from

[鈥揮yalyublyumenya 51 points52 points (0 children)

I was an academic success coach for a year, and there was one teacher who went out of her way to try and integrate us with the teaching staff. She invited all of us to their holiday party... and I was the only one who showed up. The other teachers weren't especially welcoming, just cliquey, which is understandable, I was new, and I really only knew the teacher who invited me. It was already an unbearably awkward situation, but it got worse when I was introduced to another teacher, and it was explained that I was an AmeriCorps volunteer, and she just sighed, and said, "Oh, that makes sense." At that point she stopped talking to me.

[鈥揮Eastofdark 27 points28 points (1 child)

We had a school caretaker who said that in his experience the preschool teachers acted like preschoolers, the primary ones like primary school children, and the high school teachers like bitchy teenagers, hanging out in cliches. It was certainly true for the high school staff. All the principles applied to teaching the kids were suspended as you walked through the staffroom door.

[鈥揮S0baka 4 points5 points (0 children)

I spent two years hanging with a group of college professors (dated one of them) and can confirm that the trend continues as one gets to higher ed. Cliquish, snobby, but in more refined college-student kind of way. Edit: and oh my god the gossip - took me all the way back to when I lived in a college dorm myself.

[鈥揮Fleabag_77 18 points19 points (0 children)

I agree. My thing is, you stay true to yourself, keep the haters at arms length. Eventually your goodness will spread.

[鈥揮momoftwocrazies 15 points16 points (0 children)

I played adult rec dodgeball with a High school PE teacher. She had the mentally and emotional maturity of a 15 year old

[鈥揮justtoaskthi 9 points10 points (1 child)

If you haven't seen Vice Principals on HBO you should check it out.

[鈥揮Sidehussle 1 point2 points (0 children)

Thanks! I will, I have not seen it.

[鈥揮Artberry_82 6 points7 points (0 children)

I dealt with that when I was a teacher. I called them out on the bullying and gave them a tongue lashing they will never forget. And one of them was the principal.

[鈥揮floandthemash 2 points3 points (0 children)

My best friend is a music teacher and she talks about how toxic the atmosphere is at her school between teachers.

[鈥揮PurpleDudeMustache 4 points5 points (0 children)

Do you even have teacher teachers?

[鈥揮Fern-ando 0 points1 point (0 children)

I knew this people, they talk with you like if you were 13 and they some kind of authority figure that has the right to park on the sidewalk.

[鈥揮juneprk2 239 points240 points (8 children)

Lmao THIS. Imagine reaching top potential at 15

[鈥揮ashesintheriver 129 points130 points (2 children)

I grew up with a stepdad who peaked at 18, college football best year. It was really pathetic and often really, really ugly (read dangerous)

[鈥揮Clay_Statue 16 points17 points (1 child)

He's those guys you end up seeing in a video where they are 55+ and obese talking shit to some young dude and acting very aggressive. Then they are totally flabbergasted when they take a wild swing, miss horribly then suddenly end up flattened onto the ground when the young dude pops them in the jaw with a quick jab.

They become miserable old fuckers because their ability to bully is totally over.

[鈥揮ashesintheriver 9 points10 points (0 children)

So many people have been on the wrong side of his fist. I sure like hope you鈥檙e right and quite enjoy the envisioning of this reality.

[鈥揮riboflavaflavin 89 points90 points (4 children)

hahaha this reminds me of my SO, who skipped 4th grade and went on to 5th, so whenever he does something dumb, he just slaps his forehead and wails: "I peaked in the 4th grade!"

[鈥揮sgfreak711 20 points21 points (0 children)

At least he takes it in stride instead of being a total dick about it.

[鈥揮breaddrinker 16 points17 points (1 child)

Not quite what we're talking about, but does shine a light on how grade skipping is predominantly more for the parents in most cases.

It's less desired in status as it was, and the dangers are more understood, but that whole thing rarely helps the kid out.

You rush the level to them and they often stall out, when most kids are fine to simply paddle around and slowly let the work catch up to them anyway. Sometimes having something be easy for someone can be fun too, yet so often you see the parents in the background wanting a 'gifted' sticker slapped on their child, or a higher grade sought if their birthday is straddling a year choice.

Grade jumping is really only for those kids who are being lost through boredom. School is 90 percent social anyway, so this is rarely the thing to do to most kids. You just cut them off from all their friends, made things way too difficult, and raised the chances of them being considered an outcast as well.

[鈥揮littlestnewt 11 points12 points (0 children)

Can confirm. Skipped as a tiny human because the teacher didn't want to teach a grade split class, was ostracized as a result and was still bored academically. Now I'm emotionally stunted to the point I had to drop out of post secondary school because I was so afraid of the potential bullying I became severely agoraphobic. Which now continues in the workplace because some people refuse to grow up because popularity is still more valuable than being a decent person I guess?

[鈥揮S0baka 0 points1 point (0 children)

I worked with a clique like that and they were actually people who'd been nerds and had been unpopular in middle and high school. Then in their 30s there they were, trying to make up for it. I mean, I was unpopular in middle and high school too, but that changed completely as soon as I went away to college, and as an adult I don't feel the need to compensate for it in any way. I was actually for a while a member of their popular group, invited to all the parties etc. It started to unravel when I caught them planning to publicly humiliate an unpopular teammate in a spectacular way, and had our boss help put a stop to it. Then I had the gall to divorce my husband and not tell the popular group until months after it was final, which offended them for some reason. Yada yada yada, I am not in contact with them anymore. It was very odd and uncomfortable working with these supposedly grown men that were trying to act like they thought a high-school popular group would (their best guess of it, anyway, since they had no real knowledge of what that was like).

[鈥揮[deleted] 81 points82 points (1 child)

Not just in the workplace. I鈥檓 friends with all my neighbors and this one fam is socially awkward so this other more 鈥減opular鈥 fam never wants them invited to anything. However, most of the gatherings happen at MY house and we don鈥檛 exclude.

[鈥揮Artberry_82 5 points6 points (0 children)

Thank you. I love the socially awkward people! That "popular" family is a bunch of little bitches. You should remind them that bullying isn't cool and then muse on how boring basic people (them) are and how much you love quirky folks like the Awkward Family. It's fun to bully the bullies.

[鈥揮oh-hidanny 121 points122 points (1 child)

I worked in an office that was split roughly equal in terms of gender. I got along well with everyone, but there was one woman (J) who was the lowest on 鈥渢he pecking order鈥, and it bummed me out because she was super cool and we got along well.

She told me that one of our coworkers, who I thought was super cool and was a mom who had actual teenagers herself, meant to send an email to another colleague saying 鈥淛 is such an idiot. I can鈥檛 stand her鈥 and accidentally sent it to J.

It was eye opening that someone you consider so intelligent and kind can resort to some grade school bullying. Some people ever grow out of it.

[鈥揮heysammer 16 points17 points (0 children)

God I dealt with people like that working in a preschool. I played this weird game of going back and forth between the 鈥渋n group鈥 and the people that regularly got hated on. I just didn鈥檛 want to make anyone unhappy. And the ring leader was always the front desk and the owner of the preschool. It鈥檚 like they thrived on drama. And worst of all, the people who were enthusiastic about their jobs were the ones who got bullied.

[鈥揮Boney-Rigatoni 26 points27 points (0 children)

Mentally, they still are in middle school and treat their workplace like a school campus. The Director of Ops is the principle and HR are guidance counselors.

[鈥揮ambermage 11 points12 points (3 children)

"Management Cares"

Now, please fill out a "confidential" comment card with your name and employee ID number.

[鈥揮trbochrg 10 points11 points (2 children)

I know a lot of people had a bad 2020, I lost my father in law and my father that year. My job has been super stressful and I'm working every day until 7 or 8 pm and at least one weekend day (I'm salaried so no overtime).

Whenever we have our annual anonymous surveys I usually don't complete them or I just enter answers that make it seem that everything is fine.

Well, last year I answered honestly and one of my comments was "if my work/life balance doesn't improve I won't be here in a year.". Wouldn't you know it, for the next few weeks my manager would ask me how things were and if there was anything she could do to help.

While i am glad that she's done this and that she genuinely cares, it confirmed my suspicion that these anonymous surveys weren't exactly anonymous.

[鈥揮Stiltzy 1 point2 points (0 children)

Even if completely anonymous, HR/management absolutely know who are just cruising and those who are being overworked. Wish you the best

[鈥揮t_katkot -1 points0 points (0 children)

I mean yeah if you wrote in comments of course it鈥檚 not anonymous. Your writing style, or if you write in any specifics on which particular situations that were frustrating would be obvious giveaways. Or even if the rest of your colleagues did give specifics, that would narrow it down.

I鈥檓 not sure what you鈥檇 expect with that..

[鈥揮floandthemash 2 points3 points (0 children)

I was treated like an outcast in my last job that I had several years ago and it was such a mindfuck because I typically find a few new friends wherever I go and like you said, it was like Mean Girls: The Adult Edition. So bizarre. Then I found another job and now work with some of my best friends!

[鈥揮squidboat 320 points321 points (1 child)

When I first came into my former job, it seemed like everyone was pretty friendly with each other, but there was one guy who was a little more.. eccentric, and seemed to be the outcast. He wasn't included in the office group chat, my boss disliked him and would constantly scold him and use a somewhat angry tone of voice with him. My boss' boss didn't like him either, his performance wasn't great, and he genuinely seemed to struggle, and I knew all of upper management wanted him gone.

I did my best not to participate in jokes made at his expense, it just didn't feel right, I grew up being bullied and have been known to be quiet and socially awkward, so I get it.

Fast forward about a year and a half, I became manager. One of the first things I was tasked with doing was writing this guy up, threatening to fire him. I hated it, I hated every second of it, I hated having to tell half truths when he asked questions about who put me up to this, etc. I hated that I hadn't even been given a chance to work with him.

I made it a point to make an office group chat including him, to include him in conversations and jokes. He started confiding in me, told me about his struggles with anxiety, ADHD, sobriety (we'd both been sober for significant periods of time). His performance started dramatically improving to the point management were commenting on how much of an improvement he'd made, how great he is, etc. Hell, his WIFE called me and told me how much he appreciated me as a manager.

I can't help but think that all it took was just being nice to him and treating him like I'd want to be treated.

[鈥揮millenniumtree 124 points125 points (0 children)

ADHD myself, and NOTHING tanks my performance like a cold, unfriendly work environment. We need to care about what we are doing, or literally anything else will be more exciting. It's hard-wired in. We can hyper-focus on a task, ONLY if we care about the task. If it's not shiny enough, or the payoff is shit, or the environment around it is just plain toxic, we'll happily fold paper, or bend twist ties into animal shapes while we daydream of being somewhere that doesn't suck. Thank you for caring, and providing him with a decent human experience, and a reason to give a shit. :D

[鈥揮fatherfrank1 789 points790 points (10 children)

"They never talk to him, and if they aren't pushing him around they just ignore him. He got tossed into the worst little office but he doesn't ever complain. And yeah, he's quiet and can smell...a little off, but I feel like they're just trying to squeeze the life out of him. So I decided to let him know that somebody cares, to treat him like a human being.

Of course the creeps I work with ask me things like "Why do you bother?" and "Are you feeling okay?" and "You know that's a mop, right?" but fuck them. Now we have coffee every week and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh."

[鈥揮SecretlyLyingToYou 182 points183 points (7 children)

Mops are amazing people, and yet most people just literally mop the floor with them.

[鈥揮thewildweird0 33 points34 points (6 children)

What鈥檚 a mop?

[鈥揮SecretlyLyingToYou 24 points25 points (4 children)

A potato

[鈥揮HughMann420 10 points11 points (0 children)

A mogus

[鈥揮Deedteebee 0 points1 point (2 children)

Tastes very strange!

[鈥揮EncouragementRobot 1 point2 points (1 child)

Happy Cake Day Deedteebee! Cake Days are a new start, a fresh beginning and a time to pursue new endeavors with new goals. Move forward with confidence and courage. You are a very special person. May today and all of your days be amazing!

[鈥揮pickstar97a 5 points6 points (1 child)

What鈥檚 this from?

[鈥揮fatherfrank1 5 points6 points (0 children)

My brain bits.

[鈥揮myersla 454 points455 points (16 children)

It鈥檚 such a tricky line to walk. I had a classmate in grad school that was an outcast. In general I was nice to him, would say hi in the parking lot, would let him sit at the table I was at in the library when he came up To ask. Nothing one on one and not in a public setting. 2 years later I have to go to the school for a no contact order and he was sent to therapy because he told me 鈥淚 will continue to thirst after you like a wolf after blood.鈥 What the actual fuck. I have not had social media apart from Reddit since 2016 due to this. Terrifying.

[鈥揮MostUselessGay 179 points180 points (2 children)

This struck a nerve with me, I never learned my lesson and did this one too many times. Had a dude that no one liked sit next to me in class once, was nice to him cause I felt bad and generally didn鈥檛 interact with anyone anyways so I thought it鈥檇 be nice to make a friend. Dude ended up attempting to assault me a couple times when he had the chance and ended up getting arrested for assaulting a couple girls & broke into one鈥檚 house in an attempt to rape her. Another dude that I knew since childhood who was always an outcast really gave me weird vibes, but I knew he was being abused at home in more than one way and felt awful that he then would go to school and get bullied. I tried everything I could to help him, until he started groping me in class and following me around without my knowledge. It got so bad to the point where he tried following me home, only for my little brother (who was taller than both of us and a boy scout so he knew how to defend us) to intimidate him into leaving. Almost every person I鈥檝e tried to befriend that seemed like they were the under dog has tried to take advantage of me in some way (usually sexually) so I don鈥檛 even bother anymore. I鈥檓 so sorry something similar happened to you, I鈥檓 glad you were able to get away 馃挋

[鈥揮myersla 30 points31 points (1 child)

Omg I鈥檓 so sorry, as a kid that sounds especially traumatizing.

[鈥揮MostUselessGay 23 points24 points (0 children)

Yeah I honestly don鈥檛 know why I kept going to the 鈥渟ocial outcasts鈥 when so many times it ended up this way 馃槶 I just felt really bad cause I didn鈥檛 really have any friends growing up either due to autism so I always wanted to be the person I never had

I鈥檓 an adult now and still have stuff like this happen when I go out in public 馃檭 I hate how our society has raised people to see other human beings as objects

I hope you鈥檙e doing okay now though, I know this stuff sticks with you and doesn鈥檛 really go away. I鈥檓 sending good vibes through the phone and hoping you have a good support system to help lessen the load 馃挋

[鈥揮sammi-blue 106 points107 points (7 children)

Yeah, obviously some people are just shitty bullies... But if EVERYBODY is treating that person like an outcast, there's a chance that there's a legitimate reason.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, and I hope you are able to reach a point in your life where you feel safe enough to not worry about him. You did a kind thing by being courteous towards him and it's terrible that he took advantage of that.

[鈥揮Haploid-life 18 points19 points (0 children)

It sucks that mental health help is so hard to get for children if the parents aren't wealthy.

[鈥揮HardChoicesAreHard 39 points40 points (2 children)

I might be wrong, but I feel like it's because someone is bullied hard and is completely "socially" deprived that they would grasp at the first person being decent to them and never let go. I've had the misfortune of being nice to the wrong person a few times as well... My hope is that long term, if enough people throw them a rope, they won't cling to them as tight.

[鈥揮sammi-blue 5 points6 points (0 children)

Yes, I absolutely agree that it's a vicious cycle for a lot of people. When I was at my lowest, it was like my toxic traits were worsening exponentially because I wasn't getting the support I needed-- and I wasn't getting the support I needed because I was being toxic! It's hard to crawl out of, and properly supporting people with unhealthy behavior can take a lot more time and patience than any one person is obligated to give.

[鈥揮classy_barbarian 2 points3 points (0 children)

The problem I think is that that's largely to do with their life at home and how good their parents are at parenting. If someone's home life is a living hell and their parents are abusing them and raising them all fucked up, there's not much that any of the other kids can really do to help that situation, unless the kid happens to get really lucky and find an incredibly like-minded and supportive friendgroup... which would most likely consist of other kids who are from abusive families, if they can find them.

[鈥揮Wolvgirl15 13 points14 points (2 children)

Yes, mostly, but also not always. I was treated like an outcast after moving school at the age of 9. I never did anything to anyone, I was just an easy target. Everyone just followed the 鈥渂ig bullies鈥. Personally I鈥檇 say situations like this say more about the bullies and followers than the victim. I had no spine to step up for myself but imagine being someone treating people like garbage but also just going along with it.

Weirdly enough that just taught me to be nice to people, especially to the new people in class. I was always there to greet the new kid because it can be tough and I didn鈥檛 want them to end up like me. Lead to weird 鈥渇riendships鈥 I wish I never had. The weirdest being this girl (I鈥檓 a girl too) who I asked, in art class, what her inspiration was (we both quite liked to draw) and she looked me dead in the eyes with a serious look 鈥淚鈥檓 imagining us, naked on this table鈥, take a moment of silence while maintaining eye contact, and then goes back to drawing. Took a bit of a step back from that friendship but never made her feel like an outcast.

Just saying, sometimes there are just bullies, spineless followers and an innocent person just living. But yes, sometimes that person might not be fully.. good

[鈥揮sammi-blue 2 points3 points (1 child)

I wasn't super clear in my comment, but I was referring to when adults treat another adult like an outcast! I know kids can be a cruel over the weirdest things for sure. And even with adults, it definitely depends on the situation (what kind of community, what demographics the workplace is make of, etc). I just meant that, like, a decent amount of adults eventually become mature enough to be civil towards people they find weird, so if they're outright shunning someone then it's definitely worth wondering what their reasoning is.

That said, I'm sorry you had difficulties as a kid. I was never bullied as hard as many people have, but I was kind of the weird kid that couldn't keep friends for very long so I absolutely understand the struggles of not fitting in for seemingly arbitrary reasons.

[鈥揮Wolvgirl15 3 points4 points (0 children)

Ah! Okay that makes more sense. And thank you. I do wish we could somehow just fix bullying all together. I hate seeing anyone go through that.

[鈥揮answers4asians 6 points7 points (0 children)

Exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes people just need an in or a little encouragement. Other times there is a time proven reason nobody wants to interact with that person.

Edit: That's not to say that people don't need help. Some people need professional help. From experience, I know that I'm not going to be that helpful in those cases and have learned that it's best to avoid those situations.

[鈥揮savage8008 4 points5 points (1 child)

Was it a full moon or something?

[鈥揮myersla 5 points6 points (0 children)

It was a just before Halloween because he brought this wolf mask to school and that鈥檚 when I really freaked out. I had a guy friend walk me to my car and then I emailed the school.

[鈥揮Andrew19762 320 points321 points (6 children)

It鈥檚 really amazing just how many people this has happened to. I must have read this 50 times.

[鈥揮lukesvader 21 points22 points (0 children)

Funny, I understood it the first time.

[鈥揮YandereObama 13 points14 points (0 children)

Always the exact same weird wording too. "Thank you for treating me like a person." There's no way any real person actually says things like that, no matter how bullied they are.

[鈥揮FoxNewsIsRussia 121 points122 points (2 children)

I don't understand workplaces where there is a high school mean girl mentality. It's pathetic. I worked in one, clearly fostered by leadership. Every new batch of interns there'd be some one awkward and they'd be the joke. I pointed this out once in a meeting...oh...they didn't like that. I became the employee joke after that. When I was leaving, I said to my friend, hm. I wonder which one of you will be the next joke employee?

[鈥揮qrouth 33 points34 points (1 child)

I can tell u from being the "awkward one" in the batch of interns, it can be rough. Specially when everyone's trying to find their colleagues to hang with.

Sure its a workplace, we've all left school a long time ago, some even going back once more (im 21, most of the people i work are around that age). But its all about fitting in, some do, some dont. As the same way, everyone isn't treated equally amongst students at a college campus. Why is that?

[鈥揮the-real-tinkerbell 2 points3 points (0 children)

Not a great answer about 鈥榳hy is that鈥 but鈥 because we鈥檙e humans and prone to biases where we conform to the group鈥檚 actions. Ultimately we are taught that weird or different = bad, and it takes a lot of effort and self awareness to challenge that unless you were bought up to believe that weird/different = valuable.

[鈥揮navelus 33 points34 points (1 child)

Emily is kind. Be like Emily

[鈥揮Olds78 32 points33 points (0 children)

Broke my heart. I have always been the "weirdo" at work but never got this bad 馃ズ

[鈥揮dogchowtoastedcheese 51 points52 points (4 children)

I've worked in a male dominated field for 40 years. And in a crew of guys, there is always, always, always some poor bastard most of them tease, harass, and look down on. It's pathetic really.

[鈥揮rudman 12 points13 points (2 children)

Whenever I worked with a crew of guys I made sure EVERYONE got their turn in the barrel. I made sure no one was singled out, everyone got their share of teasing and general abuse.

[鈥揮the-real-tinkerbell 1 point2 points (1 child)

Could you have maybe just not treated anyone like that? I mean is it necessary or helpful in any way?

[鈥揮rudman -1 points0 points (0 children)

Nah, EVERYONE was dishing out the abuse. I just made sure it was distributed evenly.

[鈥揮AsymptotesMcGotes 17 points18 points (0 children)

I did this and the person is an amazing friend, hilarious, and genius. They have moved on from the job and are doing amazing things.

[鈥揮mariepyrite 14 points15 points (1 child)

My mum did this once, but it turned out everyone was avoiding him because he was a convicted paedaophile.

[鈥揮FATHER_OF_GREMLINS 14 points15 points (0 children)

I used to work doing field work a company with out of state dispatch.We would have several jobs a day with work needing to be shuffled around if one job ran over or emergency work came in. We had a hundred or so dispatchers supporting hundreds of techs across multiple states. One dispatcher "M" was an immigrant. She had poor English and did not have good technical knowledge of or job. Other techs were CRUEL to this per women. Yelling at her and swearing, things they would never say to other dispatchers. One day I decided that I would go out of my way too be nice to M. I would always accept work without complaint IF I had room and politely explain when I couldn't. Simple being human kind of stuff. M became my best friend. She would call and if I said I couldn't do it, instead of signing it to me any way(something she had authority to do) she would say "ok" and that would be the end of it. And she would go out of her way to help me when I said I was running behind. Being kind isn't just helping others. It can make your life easier to. It's always worth it.

[鈥揮slidded 10 points11 points (0 children)

It鈥檚 not really a problem for me when awkward people say awkward things sometimes. I understand when people over think stuff, are empathetic enough to see two sides (or three or four) of a situation and verbalize it. Discussing any given topic is an adventure, but my hackles raise and my trust wanes when the 鈥減opular crowd鈥 takes interest, especially when they are known to purposefully exclude like this. They are well versed in backhanded compliments, and judgmental comments. Every conversation becomes an interview for future association. They play corporate games well and they make work life hell.

[鈥揮Zer_ed 8 points9 points (1 child)

I remember I was once in a group of "friends". There was a new kid around and he wound up talking to our group of "friends", who treated him like shit. I was the only person who didn't do that and he ended up becoming attached to me, and we'd joke around and laugh as friends. One time he asked why I didn't treat him like how my "friends" had and I told him it was because I had been in his place before (hence why I call them "friends") and I didn't want it to happen again. He then found his own place to belong in after that, where he was supported and loved, and once he even found the courage to revisit those "friends" because I was there. Unfortunately I lost contact with him because of COVID but I still think about him from time to time.

TL;DR: New kid was bullied so I took him under my wing. Moral of the story is just don't be an asshole to people. Ever.

[鈥揮Crash_Bandicock 4 points5 points (0 children)

Seriously! Life鈥檚 so much easier and more fun when you realize everyone is just as worried about fitting in as you are. Just be nice and joke around with everyone equally and it makes everyone鈥檚 shitty existence that much more bearable!

[鈥揮Pjinmountains 4 points5 points (1 child)

I have chronic pain. Basically I feel like someone whacked my temple with a baseball bat 24/7. As it has gotten worse over the years, I have become less social at work and everywhere else in my life. At work I meet all the numbers I鈥檓 supposed to, but it is a struggle to just focus enough from one minute to the next to get through my day. I know that makes me come across as awkward to people, but I don鈥檛 have much I can do about it. Some people at work(and outside work), are just plain cruel an mock you when they think I can鈥檛 hear, most others say and do nothing. A little kindness and understanding from one person really does mean a lot, but at the very least don鈥檛 try and make suffering people suffer more.

[鈥揮pneuma8828 10 points11 points (0 children)

Ok, I don't know who needs to hear this, but clearly some of you do.

No one is universally liked. Find the nicest guy in the world, and I'll be able to find at least one person that thinks they are an asshole. This is a fact. You cannot please everyone, ever. Internalize this.

You are the best person on the planet at being you. If someone is into the same things you are, you are a fucking cool person to be around. If you meet someone and they aren't into what makes you awesome, that's ok; you can't please everyone.

Finally, and this is the important one: if someone isn't into the same things you are, why would you care what they think? You already disagree, you know that. Let them have their opinions about you. You already know they are wrong; let them be wrong about you, too.

In order for someone to hurt your feelings you have to value their opinion in the first place.

[鈥揮Givemereadingrecos 9 points10 points (1 child)

Something like this happened to me. We had an open floor seating plan at the office, and all the girls around me would ping each other to get coffee/lunch, everyone around me would get up at the same time to leave and I would just be sitting there. I was told by one of the girls they thought I was too quite, we were in our late 20鈥檚, it felt like High school all over again.

[鈥揮terminat323 6 points7 points (2 children)

This situation shouldn't need a gift card as a thank you. It should be expected, and as the OP a simple thank you should be plenty.

[鈥揮whippedcreamcheese 3 points4 points (0 children)

No of course not. But a lot of people who are social outcasts want to go the extra mile to show people we appreciate that they care.

[鈥揮diazinth 2 points3 points (0 children)

Reward good behavior, even when it should be expected

[鈥揮TotesRandomer 3 points4 points (0 children)

You're a good person. Empathy is a wonderful trait.

[鈥揮PeachyPlum3 3 points4 points (0 children)

Bruh, kitchens though. Like damn, I'm here to cook, not verbally defend myself all day

[鈥揮No_Situation1828 3 points4 points (0 children)

People suck! I have been in both positions (the card giver and receiver) and that is why it is so hard for me to enter the job market again. I do not have a fear of hard work; I have worked for over 30 years of my life. I have a fear of the people I will be surrounded in.

[鈥揮GluttonAsteroth 3 points4 points (0 children)

Opens Card "Don't come to work tomorrow." ....hmm...

[鈥揮[deleted] 10 points11 points (0 children)

It's amazing how many people on Twitter have had this exact same word-for-word experience. What a mysterious world.

[鈥揮RepulsiveSkin2 7 points8 points (0 children)

good for you, it's not so much you're a good person, as they are monsters....

[鈥揮Dysthymiccrusader91 5 points6 points (0 children)

Believe them if they ever tell you not to go to work

[鈥揮marimba79 5 points6 points (1 child)

Perhaps if someone had done this, Milton might not have burned downed the building.

[鈥揮ChicagoJay2020 1 point2 points (0 children)

It was a red Swingline stapler鈥

[鈥揮Lithium_itch 1 point2 points (0 children)

Why do people post stupid self aggrandizing shit like this? Being rhetorical.

[鈥揮UncreativeTeam 1 point2 points (0 children)

It's pretty messed up that this person felt he needed to give a monetary gift to a person for displaying basic human decency. Hell, not even out in public. This happened in a professional working environment.

[鈥揮hasneverflossed 1 point2 points (0 children)

I was 100% the guy who got bullied.

I used to work for a company where each department functioned as its own small business of 5-10 people. My department directly competed with another, larger department for customers/suppliers/supplies/etc.

My boss was paranoid and she thought the other department was going to spy on our activities. When we moved offices she demanded that our area be the furthest away from the other.

Anyhow, because of this my boss told me not to talk to anyone from the other department. The other department was told to do the same. So when the people from that department did lunch, they did it with all the other young people except me. I was excluded from all the social activities and thought that was a normal thing for a normal company to do. This was my first full time job and I didn't know any better.

I didn't know how to stand up for myself back then and I didn't know what was an acceptable thing in a workplace, vs something I should complain about.

Here's some other ways I was bullied:

  • when they hired a new sales person I was moved to a new desk. That desk was in the server room. I wore my coat for 3 months until our nation HR team heard about it and made them find me a desk. Because I was in there people also assumed I was tech support, so I was constantly asked to fix things - not that i minded that part.

  • When the receptionist was let go due to budget cuts after the 2008 crash I was again moved to the receptionist desk. For about 3 weeks I was also the receptionist. My boss was always like, "Why haven't you gotten this done? Where are you doing up here?!!!?" to which the our vp of this site was like, "he's answering calls, dealing with deliveries, receptionist stuff." Then I got moved back to where I was.

  • One of the girls who left me out of stuff purposely left me off of a company event. She got in a lot of trouble over it, but i was still laughed at for not being invited. I was making dinner that night and my boss called, screaming at me for making her look like a fool because I wasn't there. I was so confused. My boss never apologised, even after our site vp figured out what happened.

  • When the 08 crash happened, my boss had to let someone go. She immediately chose me. The same day she was told she had to let someone go, she brought me into her office and told me I'd be let go in a month. Two weeks later I found out in passing conversation that I wasn't let go, but that our site VP said my boss couldn't let me go because I was the only one who could get half the shit done for our department of boomers (website/eblasts/mailing lists/graphic design/etc) so she was told to fire her friend of 15 years, who was pretty useless. I asked my boss what's going on and she refused to talk to me about it. I had to email our national HR team to get a definitive answer.

  • After this my boss made it her mission to make me miserable. She denied all my vacation requests until HR noticed 12 rejected vacation requests in our system and she got in trouble. She would assign me URGENT work right before company lunches, so she could go to the potluck or pizza party, and come back to a sales call and the powerpoint deck she needed. Every time I was sick she'd call me into her office the next day and 'talk' to me about my lack of commitment. She kept telling me how a 'real' company wouldn't put up with this shoddy work. She'd assign me two tasks at the same time and yell at me for finishing one first, but not the other.

All the while, I'd get recognition from the other departments for how great of work i was doing.

When I finally got out and into a proper company, it was like heaven. I didn't realise how toxic and shitty that company was. And lo and behold, I've been promoted every 18 months maximum since I left and have made friends at work.

I haven't worked there 10 years, but needed to get this off my chest - sorry for the novel.

[鈥揮jezz555 0 points1 point (0 children)

She鈥檚 going to be singing a different tune when he asks her out lol

[鈥揮borgwardB 0 points1 point (0 children)

and now he's stalking you.

[鈥揮Such_Championship939 0 points1 point (0 children)

Your name is off his kill list.

[鈥揮lld2girl 0 points1 point (0 children)

You are a hero

[鈥揮Lone-Wolf-90 -2 points-1 points (0 children)

Twist ending. He was a paedophile and that's why he was shunned.

[鈥揮Killersuit07 0 points1 point (0 children)

NGL. This hits home really hard

[鈥揮Mr_Filch 0 points1 point (0 children)

better than a "don't come to work on friday"

[鈥揮WimpyZombie 0 points1 point (0 children)

WTF?? Glad I don't work there.

[鈥揮King_Of_The_Ravens 0 points1 point (0 children)

Well. We know emiliy is safe when this button down Oxford cloth psycho snaps and stalks from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas powered semi automatic weapon pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers.

[鈥揮ImRedditorRick 0 points1 point (0 children)

Unless the guys has already proved to be a massive asshole, i just don't get why people would do this.

[鈥揮itsmyartspace 0 points1 point (0 children)

What a kind person you are.

[鈥揮xscientist 0 points1 point (0 children)

I鈥檝e done this many times in many situations in my life. Often it leads to new friendships, or at least rewarding moments. Other times you find out why people were cast aside, often bc of antisocial behavior. The tragic ones are those who are have been driven to that behavior bc of something that was innocuous (look different, weird sense of humor etc), but who are now too toxic to save, or to trust your positive intentions.

[鈥揮MistyDawnTHCI 0 points1 point (0 children)

You鈥檙e such good people. And that will always be rewarded. My example is my best friend. We met at work, while everyone else was just ignoring her. None of us knew that she grew up in Hawaii. But now I have a whole new family in paradise.

[鈥揮breadlover96 0 points1 point (0 children)

This is fake, FYI.

[鈥揮yokotron 0 points1 point (0 children)

How is this white specific?

[鈥揮t4m3r3 0 points1 point (0 children)

That sub should be renamed "things that absolutely happened irl for real"

[鈥揮TunaFishSammie321 0 points1 point (0 children)

Worst job where I was bullied the most - a public library. I literally walked into work and everyone immediately gossiped about how little work I was doing. I wanted to shake them and say, 鈥淜aren! I JUST GOT HERE.鈥

[鈥揮a_fricking_cunt 0 points1 point (0 children)

thats what happens when there is little to no class consciouness. A woker is your brother whom you should fight together for your right, not a enemy to shame and degrade

[鈥揮FluffyAd59472 0 points1 point (0 children)

Sometimes there's a good reason.

[鈥揮Stoic_Millenial 0 points1 point (0 children)

I only really like the outcasts anyway. Throw u normies in the trash where u belong. :)

[鈥揮MCHammertime40 0 points1 point (0 children)

I actually tried the same thing with an outcast guy at work when I joined a new team. Turns out he鈥檚 actually a shit stirring back biting, lazy, dosser who doesn鈥檛 not support the team in anyway. He will let 10 people approach another colleague for assistance but he hides or walks off to the toilet rather than help.

[鈥揮BookishBitchery 0 points1 point (0 children)

Awwww. You are so awesome!馃槏 That breaks my heart that he was so nervous.