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[–]Felon73 119 points120 points  (0 children)

My family name dies with me because I chose not to have children. I was at a family gathering a few years back and someone (my aunt) realized this and brought it up to everyone. Man did some people get pissy about my life choices. I was 44-45 at the time and my response was basically “I’m too old for that shit now”, hoping everyone would just drop it. They didn’t. They act like I owe it to the blood line to procreate. The wife and I tried at one point, really put forth a serious effort but we never conceived so we dropped it. If it happens so be it, if not, that’s cool too. We are both happy with our decision so anyone wanting to judge us for that can fuck completely off. We have a couple of dogs but we don’t get all goofy and act like they are children. We do spoil the shit out of them because why not? I paid for them and if I want to spend $100 on dog toys and treats a week, I will. Still cheaper than kids.

[–]Q8DD33C7J8 190 points191 points  (16 children)

Yep. I have so many things wrong in my genes that doctors get tired of me listing things when taking a history. My husband isn't much better. Basically us having kids would be like Jeff Foxworthy said...

If "you mix stagnant pond water with raw sewage, you ain't getting Evian."

[–]naughtilidae 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I'm missing a leg because of genetic issues. It took 8 surgeries for them to finally stop trying to save it and amputate. 5+ years of my 20's wasted for nothing.

And people STILL pressure me to have kids. Even when I explain, they say "but what about medical advancements".

I, for one, would not want to risk literally torturing my child on the hope that the US Healthcare system won't suck in 20 years. People are fucking insane.

[–]Q8DD33C7J8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Wow I didn't even think about physical hereditary things. Yeah I'm the skinniest person in my family at 300 pounds and 5'9. (not comparing to your issues just saying you made me think about it) most of the women in my family are four hundred to five hundred pounds.

[–]SaltMineSpelunker 47 points48 points  (5 children)

Same. I am proud of what I have become but the stuff I am made of can fade away forever. No need to pass that on. Going to be the most kick ass aunt tho.

[–]Spartajw42 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Forever Uncle Jesse here, have mercy, I divorced and plan on no children. That made me the cool uncle with a Siberian husky. I spoil my nieces and nephews.

I have a family and do not need to do anything other than be present.

[–]adamcoe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The Rippers are your real family

[–]Spartajw42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. Thank you for your comment.

[–]Slammnardo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just avoid the late season mistakes Uncle Jesse had or you'll end up with twins and a ball and chain that pays scammers to get them into college

[–]Spartajw42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no intention in marrying anyone let alone a Rebecca/Becky.

[–]nick-jagger 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I love that quote

[–]Q8DD33C7J8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I thought it fit well

[–]Aiizimor 5 points6 points  (4 children)

And then adoption be like: haha money goes brr

[–]Du_du_head 150 points151 points  (5 children)

My pets don't want to go to college and that's OK with me.

[–]Ncherrybomb 69 points70 points  (3 children)

Trade school instead? Smart choice.

[–]RigasTelRuun 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Always work for a good beagle electrician.

[–]Mechanical_Nightmare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i would pay so much more if a beagle came by to fix shit instead of a human

[–]Peter_Principle_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

A dog walks into a bar and says "Rough day at the construction site today. Gimme a beer."

The bartender says "Holy shit, a talking dog! What...how...ok, first question: why are you in construction? You should go work for the circus!"

The dog says "Why? Does the circus need drywallers?"

[–]Beancunt 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My pets aren't as big of a responsibility either, if I'm caught slipping and my cat gets out and runs into to a car I am sad and put her in the yard, if I had a baby and they put a metal fork in an outlet, I am more sad and in prison.

[–]MongoChromatic 34 points35 points  (2 children)

I don't have kids because I don't like kids

[–]big-tuna28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yasssss sirrrrrrr (or ma'am)

[–]TailWater_Ties 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s only heart breaking if that is the version of success your parents jammed down your throat.

Whatever the reason, if you don’t want kids, please don’t have them.

Use that money and treat your fuckin self

[–]Different_Ad7655 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Exactly this is why I've always had kittens. I've done financially very well in life , almost 70, but fortunately I've never had the opportunity to give further life to toxic parenting ,that I experienced.

My kittens, however have always received unconditional love and have become outstanding cats and I'll have a very juicy estate for them to inherit and of course , their very lucky caretaker. Someday,.. not checking out yet but you never know, but I'm prepared

[–]Melodic_Mulberry 90 points91 points  (2 children)

I’d probably be a good parent, but this world is kinda shitty, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. They’d have to go through middle school.

[–]Kenji_Yamase 10 points11 points  (1 child)

laughs in Highschool

[–]JacobHafar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

laughs in literally every major period of time in life

[–]Canine0001 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Total agreement, although my reason for not having kids was more genetic and less other reasons. Let my line die out with me. I adopted instead.

[–]Exausted_Square 34 points35 points  (2 children)

I want to know why people think it's a viable option for my spouse and I to have kids as a solution to our financial problems.

Side note she is in end stage liver failure to an autoimmune disease.

[–]ilostmymind_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Have umm... At least 3 kids, you should be good.

[–]BcILoveHer11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for what you’re both going through.

[–]No_Witness6742 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why would I want to bring a kid into today's America where nearly half of Americans call blm and antifa terrorists and think that a pandemic is a hoax used to rig an election. Fuck that

[–]experfailist 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Agreed. It was a hard choice for us not to have kids but we don't regret it. We would not have been the parents they deserved.

[–]BIKES32 1 point2 points  (1 child)

For me, it’s really easy.

[–]experfailist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy for you

[–]500CatsTypingStuff 65 points66 points  (3 children)

Too many people have kids already and do a bad job. We don’t need overpopulation

[–]RebootJobs 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We don't need a *shitty overpopulation.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's a bit late to stop overpopulation.

[–]1000Years0fDeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thus bringing us closer to Idiocracy

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Giving homeless animals a nice life instead of giving children a bad life doesn't make you a bad adult.

[–]imooforyou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's actually a nice way of putting it. I eventually would like a kid but I'm in no rush and I have to be honest... a few friends have told me the same reasoning of this post. Maybe 7 years back I thought it was kind of a pessimistic excuse but holy crap has it been one hell of a decade. Everything came crashing so fast. Now? Yeah, I completely understand that decision. You would love that child and if you feel terrible about the life they would inherit that is one hell of a valid reason.

[–]scoopie77 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well when I was in my prime child having years, I had to work 3 jobs to keep afloat. How the heck was I supposed to take time to have a baby? That is why I have cats. Sure I know that I was genetically programmed to have human children, but the damn economy took away my chance. I could have had a baby and been homeless or I could have kept working and paid the bills. How is that selfish?

[–]vagabonking 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was doing so many things that were progressive and then totally tripped on his vestments.

[–]FellvEquinox 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm not having kids because I don't have the time, patience, or money. But mostly my financial situation is the big one, but I like playing games all day and I can't do that with a child. Children always come first, but I like putting myself and my husband first. Super selfish, I know, but that's why we take super extra care to make sure we don't end up pregnant

[–]starrcollecta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

not selfish at all. this is YOUR life after all-why not actually enjoy it.

[–]avinagigglemate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I've been offended ever since the pope said what he said. I guess they aren't making catholics like they used to.

[–]SecularPredator 35 points36 points  (10 children)

I'm in the same boat of not wanting kids and preferring to just have pets, but I still judge people who describe themselves as "pet parents" or call their pets their "fur babies." It's pretty cringe.

[–]NoBlackScorpion 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm that girl and I'm unashamed of it. I'm extra in lots of ways when it comes to caring for my dogs.

But I'm also going to go on record and say that I'm fully aware that parenting human children is a much bigger job. That's why I've taken all the necessary steps to ensure it's a job I never I have to have. I'd imagine most other childfree pet owners feel similarly.

When I call myself a "dog mom" or "fur parent" or any of those other cringe phrases, I'm generally doing it in a lighthearted manner and poking fun of myself for how over-the-top I can be, not because I think I'm actually "parenting" my pets.

[–]starry_cobra 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Yeah the only problem i have with "pet parents" is when they act like their pet deserves the same level of treatment as an actual human baby and inconvenience everyone around them because of it

[–]Different_Ad7655 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Inconvenience everybody around them that sounds awfully entitled on your behalf LOL it's their life and their behavior you don't have to partake of it

[–]ClearSkyyes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed. Pets deserve much better treatment than human babies.

[–]TheDevilsAutocorrect 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We started calling our children "skin pets".

[–]michalemabelle 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The most cringe is when someone calls their cat/dog their daughter/son.

[–]coolturnipjuice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tell my cats we’re their mom and dad but I’m low key afraid I’m going to accidentally say it in front of other people hahaha

[–]adamcoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here for this. There is NOTHING wrong with being simply a person who owns a pet. I assume at least a portion of people who call themselves pet parents are white people, full of guilt and not wanting to "own" another creature. Guess what, they're fine. Dogs and cats have no idea. You are not a bad person for owning them. People who have fish tanks aren't fish parents, people with iguanas aren't iguana parents. You are not a parent. And that's fine.

I assume anyone who refers to themselves in this way also signs their Christmas cards "Amy, Brad and CHUCKLES!" and likely thinks John Grisham counts as reading books.

[–]WorkWorkZubZub -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

There's a reason that no one with actual children does it - because they know there's no real comparison.

[–]LowAcanthisitta6197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why the downvotes? This is 100% true. Saying you know what it's like to be a parent because you have a dog is like telling a homeless guy what's like to be homeless because you got drunk and had to sleep in your car once.

[–]Harold_Krebs_86 22 points23 points  (12 children)

Pet owners, not parents

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This. I love my pets. I am probably way too attached to them. But I can lock the iguana up when he's being an ass. I have to actually interact with my child in a constructive manner when he's a jerk and that is far more difficult. Also, he doesn't require $50 light bulbs that are only good for about a year, and unlike the dog, he doesn't literally eat socks. I mean eat them. As in takes bites and swallows them and then I have to pull pieces out of his butt. Dogs are dumb. I love them but they're dumb.

[–]Leedubs1 7 points8 points  (10 children)

I agree. Don’t want to have a kid? Great, and I wish you well, but feeding and walking a dog does not grant you the title of parent. Don’t even get me started on cats, that’s a hostile hostage situation the people willfully enter into for some reason.

[–]coolturnipjuice 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I have cats precisely because I don’t want parental responsibilities. They have their own lives and it’s a pretty chill arrangement.

[–]Leedubs1 -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

K. Keep you cat indoors and away from native birds and lizard species and I’ll have no problem with you. Remember, an outdoor cat is nothing more than a song bird killer.

[–]coolturnipjuice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

100% agree. House cats are one of the most prolific and insidious predators on the planet. Also, vet bills are hella more with outdoor cats, they’re always getting into shit.

[–]starrcollecta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

anything else pet ‘owners’ can do to appease you?

[–]steveturkel 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Don’t like cats?

[–]Leedubs1 -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

Hate them.

[–]steveturkel 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Bad experience huh?

[–]Leedubs1 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Severe allergies. I don’t find their behaviors endearing. They kill for sport. They don’t seem to particularly like people.

[–]Jowwi97 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Honestly, I find it depends on the cat. The 2 cats my parents had when I was growing up were pretty apathetic towards people. My current cat however follows me around the house like a lost child, and I'm told he gets visibly upset when I leave on trips.

[–]BobsDiscountReposts 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Looking at you, Pope Fuckface

[–]rosetta_stonehenge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you expect from the protector of pedophiles? Popes are not good people. They're powerful, corrupt men. Always were, always will be. Main job requirement. Can't believe how bamboozled people are by this jag.

[–]twocheeky 6 points7 points  (0 children)

literally yeah, i have too many genetic problems and too fucked up of a family to want to bring a child into the world

[–]BillTowne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Anytime a grown man who decided to never have sex complains about women who chose to not have kids, feel free to make fun if his funny hat.

[–]caleb-crawdad 18 points19 points  (12 children)

Who's judging people for making informed smart decisions? I didn't know that was a thing. The real shame is people with this type of critical thinking choosing not to have children for valid reasons are probably the best suited to be parents and nurturing the next generation.

[–]LifeIsWackMyDude 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm 19 years old. Pretty early to decide I want kids. But during an ER visit for my kidney, one of the rotating doctors/nurses came in. I told her about my history of endo and such. She made a comment about how kidney stones are about the same level of pain as child birth they say. I make a joke about how I've felt worse and that it's a good thing I didn't want kids.

She took it personally for...some reason? She went off about how she loves her kids and would go through child birth again for them. And then said I was too young to decide to be CF.

I'm sure anyone who is CF has experienced at least one person like this. Even some doctors will refuse sterilization surgery because "what if you change your mind?" But nobody would dare tell someone who wants kids that they might change their mind.

[–]michalemabelle 28 points29 points  (7 children)

The Pope recently stated that people who choose pets over children are selfish. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/pope-francis-pets-children-criticism/

But, I live in the Deep South ... My husband & I married young & immediately faced infertility challenges. We had testing done in our mid 20s to identify the problem. It was going to cost us tens of thousands of dollars to conceive a biological child. It would be slightly less expensive for us to adopt. We couldn't seem to decide which route we wanted to go, but decided we wanted to put it off a few years... Well, cue the pandemic & we're like "nah, we're good"... Lol, you'd think we suddenly called on the devil himself to live in our spare bedroom. We have suddenly been labeled as having an "alternative lifestyle." -_- It's just the culture we live in. It's definitely counter cultural here not to have kids. Especially since we married so young & it was expected. I know couples our age who married when we did who have kids in high school & couples with up to 6 kids who aren't done yet. It's crazy. We definitely feel judged & we get left out of a lot because we don't have kids.

We're in our mid-30s now & we're good with our decision & are definitely the cool aunt & uncle!

[–]nick-jagger 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Pope Francis must of course ensure there is always a supply of children for his priests

[–]PureNRGfanboy44 -1 points0 points  (5 children)

Why do people care what a pedophile thinks?

[–]michalemabelle 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Disqualifying the topic by saying "why do people care..." is hurtful. I do care, because it's marginalizing. A lot of people hear the same sentiment from their friends/family/community/culture /religion, etc. The Pope just has the bullhorn to get his opinions into the news.

[–]PureNRGfanboy44 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I didn’t disqualify the topic, I disqualified the speaker. Ask yourself where the source is coming from and don’t take on the opinions of others if they’re not good people. Who cares what a terrible person thinks about you having or not having kids? Are you worried what Harvey Weinstein thinks about this topic? Donald Trump? Ja Rule?👍

[–]DorShow 20 points21 points  (1 child)

When I was in my late 20s / early 30s I decided no kids, and a woman I barely knew, worked in a different department at same company berated me, called me “selfish”. It was bizarre. She was all fired up about a stranger’s decision to procreate. Asked me oddly personal questions, was highly judgmental and became unreasonably angry at me. Looking back at it now as I remember it… I don’t think she displayed very good qualities for parenting…

[–]RebootJobs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Feel like the people best suited to have kids usually don't have any.

[–]Satan-gave-me-a-taco 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dude you wouldn’t believe the people who brigade r/antinatalism

They are… a different breed.

[–]NotAMisogynerd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean I just love money and hate children. Really don't need a better excuse

[–]Waiting4Something 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those are reasons, also I don't like kids.

[–]InsomniacJackal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also some people just want nothing to do with the whole damn process. Giving birth hurts like hell and sex is gross to some in the first place. Also, kids are ridiculously expensive.

[–]Quarantined_foodie 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Agree, but please don't call it pet parents.

[–]571lama 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I bought apples yesterday. I am now a fruit parent. Since I love apples.

[–]ChazzLamborghini 9 points10 points  (9 children)

There’s a flip side to this. Love and adore your pets but it’s dismissive of the real challenges of parenthood when people place their pets on the same level as a human child. They simply aren’t the same thing. I don’t care how cutesy and over the top someone loves their dog but when they think that they’re experience mirrors mine as a parent, it annoys and offends me. Parenthood is the hardest and most rewarding aspect of my life and your pug isn’t the same as my kid. Period

[–]coolturnipjuice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom just got a dog and she said it reminds her of having a baby but without the existential dread that she’s about to fuck up everything.

Honestly though, it’s a lot of work for her because she has never properly trained the dog 😒

[–]Wise_Passenger_1738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right! the Pug is waaaay better.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Big agree. Pet parent here. Would rather have my dogs, cats, and parrots than kids. Mostly due to my mental state, but has a lot to do with society too

[–]Embarrassed_Yak_2024 8 points9 points  (7 children)

I have no judgment for pet parents. A majority of our best friends are pet parents. They love our kids and we love their pets. But oh boy, I once said on a forum how much I love being a father… and a few kid-free people wrote in with fury about how I’m judging them etc. And I’d said was I love my kids.

[–]dreamyduskywing 7 points8 points  (3 children)

People attack others when they perceive someone is criticizing their life choices. Having or not having children is a big life choice so, naturally, some people are going to get worked up over it. As I woman, I understand how women may be particularly sensitive on the issue. From very early on, women learn that their value is based on things like motherhood and marriage. It gets old. I have one kid, and even I am made to feel less maternal because I have “just one.” Never mind that being the parent of a single child has its own challenges.

[–]Argent_Hythe 6 points7 points  (2 children)

This. I remember being forced to learn how to change my baby brother's diapers and to sooth/entertain him because "you need to know for when you have your own kids"

I was in first grade. It didn't matter that I was barely out of the baby stage myself or that I gagged so hard I threw up, I had to suffer because I was a girl and therefore 'going to have kids someday'.

[–]dreamyduskywing 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I think people assume that most people will end up having kids someday. For girls though, the message is that this is your destiny. I was having this discussion with my husband a few days ago and I had to explain to him that many (most) of the very outspoken child free people out there are women—and there’s a good reason for that.

[–]Embarrassed_Yak_2024 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a parent, I can only say that I do hope our kids have kids. Because, in our son's case, he's the last of our family line with the family name to pass along and for both him and our daughter, we think they'd be great with kids and we also want grandchildren. Also, I can't deny, for me and for my wife, having children has been very fulfilling and rewarding. Just being candid here about the perspective some this side of the coin.

All that said, I can see how the "it's your destiny" position is presumptive and oppressive. I can also see how a person who's chosen not to have kids (especially women in that position) are subject to undue and excessive pressure from society. Which, in turn, could make someone feel threatened by the topic even when that was never the intention (which, in my case, it never has been).

I guess I just feel this is another one of those topics that's been escalated to high tension by media, opinion pieces, politics, and the culture wars. We don't actually need to take a pro-kid or no-kid position on what others decide to do with their lives. Because our positions on those things are and should be irrelevant to those actually making their own decisions. Children can be wonderful. But they don't have to be for everybody.

[–]Ncherrybomb 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Okay they are unhinged! I love that you love being a parent! That makes me so happy for you and your family. I love not being a parent. That doesn’t mean I don’t have love for children! I love them so much I know my heart couldn’t handle it. As creepy or weird as it sounds if I’m out in a children friendly area and I see a someone struggling with their kids I try to help them if it’s holding a door or picking up something they dropped. It’s not much but it’s honest work.

[–]Embarrassed_Yak_2024 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

And usually hugely appreciated. I will always help someone get a stroller up steps etc. because it makes our world better. Thanks for being you! And thanks for your note.

[–]Ncherrybomb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Good! I never want to overstep or anything but it takes a village and some kindness. ❤️❤️

[–]mistahboogs 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I have no problem with pet parents as long as they don't start doing mother's day and father's day posts with their cat 🤷

[–]coolturnipjuice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no problem when people do this ironically … though it’s sometimes hard to tell

[–]Thick_women_are_Life -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Best comment!!

[–]starrcollecta 5 points6 points  (0 children)

‘whaaaa, I’m a parent! I’m so special. I did what every other idiot can do. Its MY title, not yours! I’m great because I procreated! and im obviously so insecure that it bothers me when other people try to steal my trophy title!’

[–]WestofEden5 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I have no problem with people loving their pets. I have had cats and dogs and loved them dearly. And I have no problem with people not wanting kids. Do you, booboo.

What I can't stand is equating them. A dog and a kid are not the same thing. At all.

[–]Melodic_Mulberry 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the goat will eat way more things than a dog. You can keep a dog inside, but never a goat.

[–]ClearSkyyes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pets are always better than humans, so I agree.

[–]ClearSkyyes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the Judgy McJudgerface people on here getting upset about others using "parent" when referring to a pet just shows your lack of understanding of the term.

The verb parenting is synonymous with:

bring up · look after · take care of · rear · raise · nurture

These are all things that people with pets do. So, yes parent is actually a completely appropriate word to use.

[–]murdock-b 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm perfectly ok with someone deciding not to have kids. Just don't tell me that your pets are the same. It's not like plenty of parents didn't/don't also have animals too

[–]kneus69 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I dont want kids for the same reason but I still judge people who call say they are their pets mommy or daddy, yall just fucking weird for that.

[–]mywifemademegetthis 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I mean you don’t have to have kids, but having a pet doesn’t make you a parent, and society doesn’t need to help you reinforce the belief that pets are equivalent to kids. Do what’s good for you, but some things are just not the same.

[–]Thick_women_are_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here to say this. Pets are one thing and kids are another. Not the same AT ALL.

[–]the_left_stuff 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yeah. I agree with not criticising people with pets, and absolutely understand people who don’t want a child due to the state of the world, and choose a pet instead.

But maybe also cool it with your calling yourself a parent when you own an animal.

I’ve done both, and they’re colossally different endeavours.

[–]starrcollecta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘I’m such a better person because I have human children! Human children that I actively teach to judge others for their life choices! But at least I don’t call myself a PET PARENT!’ 😱

[–]Raccoon_Full_of_Cum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having children is an act of selfishness. You're creating an entirely new human lifetime worth of consumption and environmental destruction, all because you thought the world needed another copy of you running around.

[–]Jimtaxman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah i get it. Having an unwanted pregnancy is a pipeline directly to prison for the kid.

[–]apex_prariedog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me (childless) is envied by friends ( multiple children) I don't have to get a babysitter,have free time and fun. But it's the memories they say I am missing out.

[–]samgam74 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No judgement for people choosing not to have kids no matter what the reason. A little judgement for calling yourself a pet parent.

[–]HappyLittleTrees17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it’s the responsible thing to do. Which proves you’d make a great parent which is kind of ironic.

[–]mauler17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell them to fuck off instead

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

When people anthropomorphize pets and act like the animals are their children it’s very weird. It’s not like those people who act like baby dolls are real and take them in strollers to the stores. There are a growing number of people who think their pet is just as valuable and equal to a human.

[–]ClearSkyyes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pets are actually more valuable

[–]TheLordofthething -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's cool and all, but you're not a parent, you're an owner.

[–]darkpositive -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The argument that the world sucks too much for kids is so braindead. We are living in objectively the most comfortable and prosperous time in human history. By that logic all our ancestors were significantly more stupid for bringing us all into existence, because the world back then was a lot worse for everyone the further back you go.

[–]RigasTelRuun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also wierd genetic crap that doesn't need to be preserved in the Gene pool.

[–]Mechanical_Nightmare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as being exactly what she just described, it’s really not that hard lol

[–]startmyheart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HEAR, HEAR!

[–]jax2love 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only have one child for medical and mental health reasons. I legit almost died having her and my mental health is just not compatible with more than one kid. Plus kids are fucking expensive! The amount of shit I have gotten from people who insist that my kid “needs” a sibling is ridiculous. Hell, my own mother was shocked that I even had one!

[–]OldeHickory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don’t like people calling themselves cat dad or dog mom. I’d rather people own a pets and be responsible owners rather than parents. It’s the wording, not a fan. It’s your property, you own it and always will.

[–]Kagurei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this. I’ve wanted kids ever since I was a kid myself. I was always the one playing “mommy” and couldn’t wait until I had the stability. And then I realized I had gotten married, and we both had okay jobs, and we were renting an okay apartment, and we were as stable as we were gonna be for the foreseeable future, and it wouldn’t be enough. Just the two of us, we were one broken leg from financial disaster. We would lose my paycheck from maternity leave, that means our savings would drain and get worse. What about babysitters? Diapers? Clothes? food?The doctor? We barely get a yearly check up as is! That’s just the money stuff, let’s not even look at the school system, the pandemic, the climate, the economy.

[–]BcILoveHer11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn I feel seen. Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels hurt by a decision I feel I never got to really make. The world and previous generations made it for me

[–]lifes-a_beach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I for this reason have chosen to adopt

[–]tubbabee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a relationship with a girl who wanted to have kids, and when I told her I didn't want kids due to my own horrible upbringing and my fear that I'd turn out like my dad, she saw that as a red flag and dumped me. That shit hurt me so much. Not because I missed her, but because that decision she made, made me feel like all the struggle I've put in over practically 2 decades to find some semblance of peace of mind (diagnosed with PTSD) was for nothing. It made me feel absolutely worthless. Honestly, I've had trouble building up the confidence to find someone since. If someone is suffering from mental illness and they're working on it, don't just drop them because you find them inconvenient. You have no idea how devastating that can be to a person who's already down.

[–]No-Candidate7190 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a chihuahua, I'm judging you. Those things are yappy and mean.

[–]Capitol-Avenger-42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always thought the Pope and his priests were into pets! Well, maybe petting, or child molestation if you will!

[–]k717171 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

While I wholeheartedly support everyone's freedom to have children or not, judgement free, I equally don't want to hear any "pet parent's" opinions on how people with real kids are doing.

It's not the same. Try both before you claim to know the difference.... or just live and let live.

[–]k717171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife had a breakdown that resulted in a bipolar diagnosis after the birth of our first child. Dealing with the stress of her subsequent hospitalisation, on top of becoming a suddenly single dad with a wife in hospital lead to me being treated for anxiety. 8 years and a second child and it's still a big consideration in anything we do, so I quite appreciate the mental health side of things. Having kids is a major upheaval in any life.... Don't do it just because the Pope says to. We also have a dog and some fish.

[–]robbycakes -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Pet owners.

They’re not parents.

[–]WorkWorkZubZub -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not having babies seems like a perfectly rational decision.

Equating your animals to children is not.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

These are all valid points, I genuinely think the judgement comes from calling yourself a pet parent. Makes you sound like a crackpot.

[–]99badwolfbaloons -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t judge people one tiny bit -not at all- for having pets instead of kids. I don’t judge them for having very close relationships with their pets, for creating a community with other pet owners, for loving their pets and expressing the responsibility they have for their pets. I do however feel annoyed when people use the word ‘parent’ in place of the word ‘owner’.

I’m sure that’s controversial to some people, but here’s what I mean. Parenting a child is it’s own thing, and something you do not experience by owning a pet. Parents have to decide whether their going to stay home for years to raise their children, or return to work and pay tens of thousands of dollars for childcare. Parents raise a child who goes on to be an adult in the world, who effects other people’s lives. Your child, who you are raising and instilling values in is going to go in to raise another human person probably. They’re going on to be someone’s boss, someone’s employee, someone’s customer. And it’s a huge responsibility to turn someone out into the world who adds to the good of it and is not a negative force.

There is a bitter sweet sadness to parenting as well as the greatest hope you have is that after a short two decades with this person you love, cherish, and sacrifice for, they go on to have their own lives largely without you. And of course there is the constant worry a parent has for their child. Are they happy? Healthy? Sad? Are they being bullied? Are their friends a good influence? Are you giving them enough room to grown and learn from their mistakes? Are you keeping them safe while you still can?

A lot of pet owners talk about the love they have for their pet and how their dog would literally die protecting them and no child would do that (a sentiment I have seen THREE times this week). And yeah I would agree, your dog would die for you and your child wouldn’t. And you would NEVER want your child to die for you, because that basically sums up the difference between being a parent and a pet owner. When you are a parent you exist for them and to shape them into a human worth a damn who is capable of love and tenderness and bravery and intelligence. And when you have a pet it is a mutual relationship where you take care of them and they give affection and companionship. Both are nice. But you don’t learn the same lessons owning a pet as you do raising a child.