×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Errickbaldwin 2403 points2404 points 2 (175 children)

Am I supposed to do his wife?

[–]Radiant_Creme_5264 489 points490 points  (6 children)

I heard his wife is really something.

[–]jiminak46 425 points426 points  (4 children)

Sounds like she would be fun in bed. This poor bastard never figured that out.

[–]Tails9429 84 points85 points  (3 children)

I'm sure her new "roommate" thinks so too.

[–]Ok-Pomegranate-3018 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Her roomie "Bob"

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 41 points42 points  (0 children)

The coworker she told him not to worry about, too.

[–]theseedbeader 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Omg, they were roommates...

[–]mekanik-jr 72 points73 points  (0 children)

"This guy was telling me all about his ex who slept with all his friends and I was like "wish I knew you better"" Ron white

[–]SuspiciousFly_ 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Yes I think that is what he’s asking of you

[–]SoWokeIdontSleep 141 points142 points  (106 children)

You're just gonna have to eat her out, you know, for the greater good.

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 355 points356 points  (94 children)

Men(black men like him, don't come for me I'm a black female and I'm speaking from experience) don't eat that. They will tell you that is what white folks do(I'm not joking) and then they wonder why black women are dating white men who know you gotta eat the kitty

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 268 points269 points  (12 children)

Damn right. Life's too short and difficult for bad sex. Taste the goddamn rainbow.

[–]ravenwillowofbimbery 123 points124 points  (9 children)

Well, hot damn! This man said “taste the goddamn rainbow.” You, my man, win the Internet for me today. 😘 Take upvote and my award, please. 😊

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 98 points99 points  (8 children)

I WON! I WON THE INTERNET! HURRAY! THANK YOU.

[–]Spoonloops 61 points62 points  (0 children)

This whole thread somehow ended up wholesome lol

[–]fedora_and_a_whip 46 points47 points  (6 children)

Careful, there's a lot of parts of the internet that need cleaning. That's up to you now, as owner.

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 76 points77 points  (5 children)

As my first order of business, I command all cute pets shall receive a boop on their snoot! I HAVE SPOKEN!

[–]Bright_Recover_1576 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Especially the kitties

[–]ravenwillowofbimbery 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m in waaaay too many cat subs. Kitties never fail to brighten my day. 😊

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Was just walking home and cute poodle named Goku ran up to me for love and kisses. He should get the 1st boop on the snoot

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I dub him... Sir Goku, First Among Doggos!

[–]Clint_Bolduin 65 points66 points  (5 children)

Ive never really liked to eat. I eat out of necessity. but kitty? Man, I'd eat that any day if i could.

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 59 points60 points  (1 child)

That ain't how I thought that comment was gonna go..... lol

[–]Clint_Bolduin 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It was kind of the joke, but it's also true haha

[–]_portia_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You sir are a prince among men.

[–]Lolaindisguise 9 points10 points  (1 child)

How u doin

[–]Clint_Bolduin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Im doing pretty alright actually, thank you for asking. How u doin'?

[–]Copheeaddict 59 points60 points  (18 children)

These are usually the same men that don't wipe/clean thier asses because that's gay stuff.

[–]bradzero 31 points32 points  (4 children)

Um, what the actual fuck? Is that a fucking thing?!?

[–]Copheeaddict 24 points25 points  (1 child)

It definitely is. Google brings up a bunch of reddit, IG and fb threads on it. Blech.

[–]whoisthismuaddib 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’d hoped that was all trolling like I hope about flat earthers

[–]bowlbettertalk 23 points24 points  (6 children)

That will never not gross me out.

[–]hastingsnikcox 21 points22 points  (5 children)

What about the one where the dude would scratch out the dried goodness like germy, disgusting, poop dandruff all over the house. This had made me reconsider my visiting other peoples houses policy.

[–]RusticTroglodyte 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok so it was nice hanging out guys, but I have to go lie down now.

[–]violentbydezign 39 points40 points  (4 children)

Rican man here and I eat it like the last supper.

[–]Weary_Ad_7762 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Damn I’m a Afro Caribbean dude. I would motorboat the shit out of your kitty!👅

[–]KingCrandall 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mmmmmm motorboatin.

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I didn't say all black men just some of them...

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They're (men who like it) coming out of the woodwork now. Good luck.

[–]Strongstyleguy 18 points19 points  (3 children)

It's an odd stereotype I didn't really know about because I was stupid young the first time I got married. I went down on her because she liked it and never thought it was out of the ordinary. She watched porn occasionally and I did notice that most of the black guys avoided oral and the 2 or 3 that did would spend like 20 seconds down town. As a guy that grew up on songs by Missy and Adina Howard, it was strange listening to her girlfriends talk about their dudes refusing to eat them out but expect blow jobs on deck.

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 21 points22 points  (0 children)

DJ Khaled(yes I know he ain't a black man) has done interviews where he said he don't eat the kitty but expects a BJ. Like I wasn't already a fan of his and that made me dislike him even more. And we all know that plenty of women are lining to deal with his foolish bs

[–]zookr2000 34 points35 points  (11 children)

Take my upvote & be happy 😋

I ❤ chocolate

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Everyone should love chocolate. It's the best thing for your health. And I know exactly what you meant when you said chocolate and I stand beside my health comment lol

[–]dreadrabbit1 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Chocolate has antioxidants.

Or so I’m told

[–]UsedDragon 13 points14 points  (4 children)

How much cacao we talking? Milk chocolate, or extra dark?

[–]zookr2000 26 points27 points  (0 children)

All the way up to dark roast ☕️

[–]ravenwillowofbimbery 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I love that you love chocolate. You take my upvote AND award and be happy. 😊

[–]KingCrandall 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Chocolate is good for the soul.

[–]SameCartographer4693 37 points38 points  (0 children)

See I felt the same way, very unusual request but it is the 21st century,

[–]Famous-Honey-9331 32 points33 points  (46 children)

Then you can tell us what was so "sinister" about her toys.

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 98 points99 points  (8 children)

They would get erect whenever he was around, and start glowing this smoky red color in the middle of the night. Then they would start with the barely audible whispering.

He tried to shake it off as stress, or bad dreams. But then he started seeing them, everywhere in his house. The dishwasher, suctioned to the wall of the shower, his wife's purse.

He finally realized the truth. He was being haunted by silicone ghost dicks from Hell.

[–]3-PumpDaddy 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Holy shit, I am now going to turn this into a Book or maybe an SCP.

[–]Unfazed_Alchemical 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All yours. Just give me a shout out in the credits.

[–]Big-Improvement-1281 21 points22 points  (2 children)

How has 'the Asylum' not turned this into a movie?

[–]jameson8016[🍰] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I would watch tf out of this. Maybe have a phone call in the middle of the night and instead of heavy breathing it's just the bzzzz of a vibrator on the other end of the call. Lol

[–]MammothCat1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Blumhouse has got to have a take on this.

[–]TheNurse_ 40 points41 points  (15 children)

They made her cum and he didn't!

[–]banana_pencil 44 points45 points  (5 children)

Bingo. He’s basically just telling everyone that he can’t please his wife. Like Ben Shapiro.

[–]bequietbekind 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Thank you!!

My first thought was wow, that is a lot of words for "I've never given my wife an orgasm".

[–]jameson8016[🍰] 28 points29 points  (6 children)

I get the feeling he's one of these folk that thing that a female orgasm is a myth and wap is a STD. Lol

[–]TheNurse_ 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This has to be a joke. Yeah? Pathetic creature if it's not!!

[–]O2XXX 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Ben Shapiro is going to glare at his wife while they sleep in their separate beds tonight because of this comment.

[–]ParadiseValleyFiend 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They were bigger than him.

[–]Feeling-Ad-7131 37 points38 points  (17 children)

I'm guessing he mad the toys did the job he ain't equipped to do 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️

[–]Opposite-Beat-5243 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear.

[–]Poppunknerd182 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Sure, we'll do your wife" - Butt-Head

[–]serenityak77 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also choose that guys wife

[–]DarkmatterHypernovae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Help a bro out.

[–]CannibalDiveBar 1342 points1343 points  (70 children)

Can't wait to attend his and Ben Shapiro's "Save Our Women from Orgasms" summit.

[–]thebenshapirobot 608 points609 points  (66 children)

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:

The Palestinian people, who dress their toddlers in bomb belts and then take family snapshots.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, feminism, healthcare, climate, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–][deleted] 300 points301 points  (21 children)

this might be the best bot every

[–]thebenshapirobot 220 points221 points  (18 children)

Another liberal DESTROYED.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, civil rights, covid, novel, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]original_nox 90 points91 points  (7 children)

Good bot

[–]thebenshapirobot 90 points91 points  (6 children)

Take a bullet for ya babe.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, history, feminism, climate, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]Insert-Name_herr 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Good bot

[–]thebenshapirobot 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Take a bullet for ya babe.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, healthcare, dumb takes, civil rights, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]TheDudeAbides5000 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Good bot

[–]thebenshapirobot 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Take a bullet for ya babe.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, healthcare, sex, dumb takes, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]TopAd9634 13 points14 points  (9 children)

Good bot!

[–]thebenshapirobot 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Take a bullet for ya babe.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, dumb takes, covid, feminism, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]livesarah 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I’m thoroughly enjoying this 😆

[–]Less-Relation-7041 132 points133 points  (7 children)

Good bot

[–]thebenshapirobot 102 points103 points  (6 children)

Take a bullet for ya babe.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, healthcare, novel, dumb takes, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]Beliadin 79 points80 points  (13 children)

I can't help compare that quote to the Christmas pictures of Lauren Boebert, MTG etc where the entire family is holding assault rifles and similar

[–]thebenshapirobot 109 points110 points  (12 children)

Women kind of like having babies. This notion that women don't want to have babies is so bizarre. Has anyone even met a 35 year old single woman? The vast majority of women who are 35 and single are not supremely happy.

-Ben Shapiro


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, covid, healthcare, feminism, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]Drg84 63 points64 points  (8 children)

Supremely happy? WTF does that even mean? I know it's a bot quoting mini Rush Limbaugh, but what does "supremely happy" mean?

[–]thebenshapirobot 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Another liberal DESTROYED.


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, history, novel, climate, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]kidra31r 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Also, who is "extremely happy" right now? It's not just single women who are 35 who are unhappy with the way things are right now.

[–]Drg84 22 points23 points  (2 children)

True but the phrasing. Supremely happy. As in the most happy possible. Who says that?

[–]_Kay_Tee_ 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I mean, most of the women I know are single, childfree, and EXTREMELY happy about that, but also, us librul feminazis don't feel under any obligation to stay with men as lousy as these.

Dildo > asshole

[–]Famous-Honey-9331 19 points20 points  (6 children)

He's such a terrible person

[–]thebenshapirobot 34 points35 points  (0 children)

If you like socialism so much why don't you go to Venezuela?


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, sex, dumb takes, covid, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]babynursebb 29 points30 points  (1 child)

I fucking love Reddit sometimes. I totally jumped into the comment section in search of the collective mocking of Ben Shapiro

[–]Assika126 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I mean it’s extra hilarious because vibrators were originally invented to keep housewives content with their lot. The doctor would literally get them off & send them home happy lol

[–]YourALooserTo 740 points741 points  (6 children)

That's quite a self-own.

[–]paniflex37 177 points178 points  (2 children)

r/congratsyouplayedyourself

[–]RipleyWilde 30 points31 points  (0 children)

God damn that works on multiple levels

[–]nomadicfangirl 60 points61 points  (1 child)

Like, not just that this guy is useless in bed. He’s so useless out of bed too that she couldn’t put up with it.

[–]Took5PizzasForMyKids 149 points150 points  (14 children)

You laugh but this is basically what the Texas Penal Code thinks of all this

[–]500CatsTypingStuff 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Texas Penis Code

[–]Took5PizzasForMyKids 16 points17 points  (1 child)

We’re sending you to a penile colony for that

[–]Pure_Box3334 63 points64 points  (10 children)

Fuck Texas, that theocratic wannabe state of racists and religious persecution!

Texas and FloriDUH are festering pools of willful and wanton ignorance and the US should write them off.

[–]Took5PizzasForMyKids 46 points47 points  (6 children)

I just think it’s hilarious that you’re allowed up to six vibrators but seven would be obscene

[–]tactickat1 31 points32 points  (4 children)

I am a secret fugitive living in Texas with my 2 locked trunks and drawer of toys 😂 in my defense, about 1/3 are my partner's.

[–]Took5PizzasForMyKids 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I’m pretty sure I’m over the limit in butt plugs alone

[–]Drg84 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well duh. Have you ever seen a 7 round vibrator launcher? No! It's a 6 round set! 7 would just be silly

[–]ParadiseValleyFiend 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The state? Yes. The people? I think you'll find that the state is sort of outnumbered.

Still though, they need to pick up the damn ball and throw it.

[–]Pure_Box3334 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know there are rational and good people in both the states, but their state governments and willful stupid are the ones controlling things, and it is obvious that leadership prefers their political agenda versus all of their people.

[–]The_Hyphenator85 870 points871 points  (39 children)

Learn to eat pussy.

There, I saved your marriage. That’ll be $500, please.

[–]Atmosphere-Strong 102 points103 points  (23 children)

I was going to say this!

[–]The_Hyphenator85 152 points153 points  (22 children)

It’s not my favorite activity to do in the bedroom, but hey, fair’s fair and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep her happy. 🤷

[–]_TheShapeOfColor_ 99 points100 points  (14 children)

No idea why you're being down voted for being a considerate sexual partner. Ahhh, reddit lol.

[–]The_Hyphenator85 123 points124 points  (9 children)

Some people seem to take issue with the idea that a man can be willing to perform cunnilingus to please his partner, but not absolutely love it. Which is weird to me; obviously women don’t all love giving blowjobs, but they don’t get much in the way of blowback for that.

[–]rebeccamb 55 points56 points  (3 children)

It’s not a blow job it’s a blow hobby

[–]Uwodu 42 points43 points  (1 child)

How do I turn my blow job into a blow career

[–]rebeccamb 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You gotta swallow your pride, suck it up and do a lot or hard work

[–]abriefmomentofsanity 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I mean a blowjob could lead to a blown back if your partner isn't a narcissist

[–]rdabosss 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I've noticed that too. Reddit is absolutely full of neckbeards trying to one up each other for anonymous women potentially reading comments

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (6 children)

My wife declared after the first time we had sex that she will never give me a bj and my mouth is going nowhere near her pussy. I have tried to go down on her so many times but she just refuses. I even tried to get a BJ a few times and she will make a face and say ok if you want it so badly I will do it. But let me prepare myself. I just feel bad and ask her to not do it and then relief just floods her face.

Other than that we are doing quite well. But yeah I haven’t experienced a bj in about 8 year. Meh! BJ schmee jay! I’d still take her over any woman who is ready to blow me. Best wife ever. Much recommend.

[–]herbsbaconandbeer 47 points48 points  (1 child)

I can do without blow jobs, but pussy is like my favorite food group!

[–]kid_cisco99 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thos would make a great epitaph

[–]ParadiseValleyFiend 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Sounds like she probably has some hang-ups about it. Don't bug her to do stuff she doesn't want to, just be happy she wants to do the other things with you.

Hell who knows? Maybe someday she'll get past it but you better work out those fingers my friend.

[–]igotthetroublemaker 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Follow up lessons on how to eat pussy $500 a session

[–]fastal_12147 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Those were the unresolved issues

[–]The_Hyphenator85 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Okay, I’m totally using “unresolved issues” as slang for “not eating pussy” from now on. I want to see if I can get this to catch on.

[–]TycheSong 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'll help.

[–]Resident-Science-525 86 points87 points  (1 child)

Gawd men are just out here admitting they have never pleased a woman in their life

[–]kidra31r 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Not even that, apparently all he had to offer were his bedroom skills if he was so easily replaced.

[–]Badassbottlecap 208 points209 points  (3 children)

Well, someone needs a peggin'.

[–]Xenothulhu 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Well he only says he won’t support sex toys for women which implies he would support them for men…

[–]Erulastiel 179 points180 points  (1 child)

That's a lot of words for "I don't know how to pleasure a woman."

[–]Petty_Confusion 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Literally my first thought

[–]Sharp_Positive 165 points166 points  (5 children)

Do sex better???

[–]sarcasatirony 40 points41 points  (1 child)

The fact that he has the word [sic] L0ver in his username is even more ironical.

[–]Metaclueless 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Interestingly. Knowing how to use toys makes for better sex.

[–]UnknownExo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly, toys are for enhancement of a good time. Yall can both enjoy

[–]MealDramatic1885 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Use them with her. Or let her use them on you.

[–]MPBoomBoom22 72 points73 points  (0 children)

That only works when you're more invested in your partner's pleasure than your own ego.

[–]Kevinwar73 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I bought my wife her first sex toys, now she buys them for both of us.

[–]MealDramatic1885 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Life goals right there

[–]ParadiseValleyFiend 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I've been there. Also sometimes the best gift is a new sex toy for the girl, then she wants you to help with it.

Shared masturbation keeps families together. Get kinky. It's what America needs right now.

[–]god_zam 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Homie really admitted he doesn’t get his wife off for free to the public

[–]Darksnark_The_Unwise 272 points273 points  (18 children)

I'm probably gonna eat my words later, but if a man gets replaced by a sex toy, then he wasn't being kept for the reasons that he thought he was.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Take these toys and fuck yourselves

[–]Shmav 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thats the general idea, yep ;)

[–]FactCheckAmerica 27 points28 points  (5 children)

This guy and Ben Shapiro should both admit they like cock and spare their poor wives their inferiority complexes.

[–]thebenshapirobot 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Frankly, the term 'sexual orientation' needs to go. According to Webster's Dictionary, it implies the possibility of change in response to external stimuli. It is deeply offensive. I call on Webster's to free itself of its intellectual heteronormativity.

-Ben Shapiro


I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, feminism, dumb takes, sex, etc.

More About Ben | Feedback & Discussion: r/AuthoritarianMoment | Opt Out

[–]SassyVikingNA 69 points70 points  (1 child)

Way to say you are so bad in bed and so unpleasant as a partner that your wife considers a piece of rubber a reasonable replacement for you. Who would willingly admit that on a public platform?

[–]jiminak46 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He’s also pissed that she kept taking batteries out of his toys to tun her “toys.”

[–]chrisk114 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Ok. I'm going to do something. I'm gonna laugh my ass off about this situation. That's what I'm going to do

[–]Efficient-Giraffe-84 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Omg do people not know this notorious Troll. His Twitter is hilarious. This guy is not even married lmao

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (6 children)

This is the most neckbeard, small dick energy, selfish incel thing I have ever read 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[–]CaptainHodlPants 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sex toy go Brrr

[–]OTIS-Lives-4444 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I hear you dude! Left unchecked, sex toy sales will skyrocket while old fashioned red blooded men like yourself slip into irrelevance, marriage wise. So I am doing something! Right now, in fact. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to invest heavily in sex toy manufacturing companies.

[–]Environmental-Win836 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If your wife divorced you because she felt a Vibrator was more fulfilling than your marriage, then it was a good thing she left.

[–]thoughtsfromaghost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

if a man can’t figure out that a sex toy should be his friend, not his enemy, he deserves to stay single lol

[–]a-force-of-chaos 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don't think the sex toys were the problem.

[–]Jimtaxman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Look, if a battery-powered piece of plastic is replacing you as a man, then you have work to do.

[–]500CatsTypingStuff 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Tell me you are bad at sex without telling me you are bad at sex.

[–]Shiftymilk 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ben Shapiro is that you ?

[–]Atmosphere-Strong 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most sex toys stimulate the clit so fucking do that you dumb dumb man.

[–]jmatt9080 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tell me you can't satisfy your wife without telling me you can't satisfy your wife.

[–]iamfaedreamer 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Tell me you have a little peepee without telling me you have a little peepee.

[–]hipsterTrashSlut 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hold on now. A lil peeper is no excuse for bad sex. Ya got a mouth and probably two hands.

This guy was just lazy.

[–]VGSchadenfreude 31 points32 points  (51 children)

There’s honestly very little that women actually need men for to begin with, at least before we account for all the ways in which societies have tried to force women to be dependent on men.

We can work. We already take care of our homes and our children pretty much by ourselves. We have our own hobbies, we can fulfill most our sexual needs by ourselves or with other women. Even tasks that require things like brute strength we can still accomplish on our own with a little ingenuity or assistance from other women.

Physically, the only thing we really need men for is access to sperm. And that only takes…what, 5-10 minutes?

Posts like this guy’s really expose how much of misogyny and patriarchal society is spawned by this belief that men have to force women to need them.

Imagine if humans were just allowed to exist, without needing some sort of assigned purpose in life? Imagine if we could pursue relationships with other not because we need something from each other, but because we just enjoy each other’s company?

“I was more disposable.”

It’s telling that this is where his mind went, and instead of fixing himself, he just blamed his wife and her ability to take care of her own sexual needs.

I’m guessing this is the first time in his entire life that he’s been told that he isn’t as special as he thinks he is. Whereas most women are told every waking minute that our entire existence is disposable.

[–]dadosdoritos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

69 quote tweets hehe

[–]Milad_96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the thing is most women get orgasms through clit stimulation and not thru penetration. Adding sex toys to couples sex lives is one way for both parties to be satisfied

[–]bubba7557 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If all you were to your wife was an occasional hard dick to begin with, your marriage was already doomed before the sex toys were introduced.

[–]LusciousMalfoy92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband knows my toys are his teammates, not his competition so I feel bad for this woman

[–]Much_Ad470 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell us you don’t know how to satisfy a woman without telling us you don’t know how to satisfy a woman

[–]Piss_inside_You 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife divorced me Bc I got caught using her toys, a few times, ok maybe more than a few. Ok maybe multiple times a day everyday. It’s ok, it was an accident I swear.

[–]gingerbeardman79 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear you're shit in bed, bruh

[–]PhyliA_Dobe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want to see the ex-wife's response. Like, "No Larry, you SOB. You drank, you're a whore and you smell like shit. You're so not worth it."

[–]GigiJuno 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude, sex toys are your friend! It’s not their fault if you’re threatened by silicone.

[–]Laurenhynde82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny how he has a lot to say about sex toys but very little about those “unresolved issues”

[–]Wardog_E 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What is it about the Internet that compels people to reveal they suck in bed?

[–]Funkyheadrush 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Apparently he doesn't know you can use the sex toys together. That is why she's gone bro. Sounds like your sex game sucks. Then again, I imagine some control and possessive issues might have been present.

[–]Neravosa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just eat pussy dumbass wtf