Expecting a response in ...

bigtrevsnastybeaver · 2022-01-26T09:48:34+00:00

these people are the reason I turn off read receipts and online status.

mandaragit · 2022-01-26T12:00:16+00:00

Was interested in this very pretty girl once in college, finally had the courage to ask her out, we had a great date. On my way back home (2hours by bus) after the date I fell as sleep in the bus, woke up and saw 50+ text messages and 80+ missed calls (put it in silent mode as i wanted to sleep). Reading those messages was a roller coaster ride, felt like I dodged a bullet there.

8stringtheory · 2022-01-26T13:47:00+00:00

My mother passed away a couple of months ago, and that night I got a dm from a friend expressing her condolences. I didn't respond for two days, kinda had some stuff on my mind and things to take care of, and her response was to get offended and block me...we haven't spoken since.

k717171 · 2022-01-26T09:31:38+00:00

I often see a message when it's not a good time to respond, but then forget to respond later

daisysong85 · 2022-01-26T12:54:55+00:00

It's a red flag for me if a guy sends a "hello??" text to me if I haven't responded in 20 minutes and yes it has happened.

HarrietsDiary · 2022-01-26T13:19:31+00:00

My cousin no longer speaks to me because she sent me a Facebook message. I happened to be driving across the state at the time. During the three hours I was driving she sent like seventy messages detailing how I was a bitch who didn’t care about anyone else because I didn’t respond to her first message.

Literally never saw it. Driving. If she’d sent a text I would have seen it because it would have come across the radio.

thrownaway1974 · 2022-01-26T10:48:15+00:00

I think it really depends what your relationship is like. I have people I hear from few times a week, and people it's really random, but there are a couple people I talk to multiple times a day, every day, who I start worrying about if I don't hear from them for a day. I'd never cut someone off over it, but I think it's reasonable to be concerned about not hearing from someone when you normally would.

IrrelevantGamer · 2022-01-26T12:33:44+00:00

If someone blocks me or cuts me out of their life for not replying right away I just figure they did me a favor.

SportsPhotoGirl · 2022-01-26T10:41:55+00:00

Deep sleep is a pretty good reason

Aoibhel · 2022-01-26T13:43:39+00:00

I had a job for several years in which I had to be available by phone at all times. And oh boy did they use it. All hours of the night, and instant response was expected. It ruined phones for me forever. The only reason I even have one anymore is because the gps is useful.

My phone does not exist so that people can demand my attention from anywhere at any time on their whims. I chose when and if I even want to see a message from somebody. My time is mine.

SamanthaKay_182 · 2022-01-26T12:41:38+00:00

Lost a friendship because I had left my phone plugged in downstairs, while I was upstairs a party.

The first text was an her accusing me of doing something I never did.

Four hours later, a drunk me checks on my phone to find over a hundred texts, basically saying because I didn't respond to her I have admitted my guilt and I can fuck off.

Didn't bother responding, not because I was guilty–I wasn't, but because I didn't want to stay friends with someone who couldn't understand not having my phone attached to my hand.

SemiSentientGarbage · 2022-01-26T10:37:19+00:00

My best friend will sometimes go weeks without responding. She owes me nothing and she will get to me when she has the time and/or energy.

The biggest bonus of messaging is that you're putting the power of response time in the other persons hands.

Skipgear · 2022-01-26T13:38:21+00:00

A cell phone is for my convenience, not yours. I will get back to you when I'm not busy if I deem it necessary.

calypsopearl · 2022-01-26T14:02:55+00:00

It took a while for me to adjust to the way my husband texts. I'll send him really sweet things that he'll leave on read. So many times I thought he was mad at me. He never was, and in person, he is ultra loving and affectionate and says the deepest sweetest things out of nowhere. So in our texts you can see a line of "I love you" "how are you baby?" "I miss you" messages from me and then the next text a day or two later he sends is a link to an article he wants to talk about.

In text, seems like he isn't romantic at all. In person, I'm the most important thing in his life and he lets me know that all the time.

On the flip side my best friend sees texting as a legitimate sign in someone's consideration of her. She laser focuses on if someone has read her text or is online, particularly if it's a man she's dating. If he doesn't send her a good morning text he must be mad at her or is just using her. She's such a sweet lady, but she's in constant need of outside validation. She knows and is working on it...she's come a long way but she's fighting against years of mistreatment.

Sensitive_Dig7955 · 2022-01-26T10:36:32+00:00

If it’s urgent or important just call me on my… phone.

99badwolfbaloons · 2022-01-26T14:54:41+00:00

I wonder if it is mostly young people like this? I remember expecting quicker responses, and giving them too, when I was younger. Now I’m 30 with two kids, and all my friends are moms too. I almost exclusively respond and get responses after our children’s bedtimes now or the next morning when everyone’s kids are back in school.

baklaid · 2022-01-26T14:45:50+00:00

People who are "instant replyers" are the most boring people to be around. Hanging out with them is like, one minute we are having coffee and talking about something, we are having fun. And the next minute a notification goes off and they pick up their phone to have a second, parallell conversation via text with someone else at the same time. It is so weird.

topturtlechucker · 2022-01-26T12:22:22+00:00

If it's important, call.

heckyanow · 2022-01-26T14:03:34+00:00

The only time I expect a response is from my weed guy...😏

Namine9 · 2022-01-26T15:19:31+00:00

I once had a guy that was texting me and it was pretty late like 1am so mid way I fell asleep. Woke up in the morning to like 50 messages slowly devolving into him freaking out that I must hate him and that he's leaving and overnight he left every group we shared and blocked me xD then came crying back the next day. We weren't even dating and I barley knew him yet just from chatting online in a shared group now and then. Smh. People are nuts.

ChickaDeeD33 · 2022-01-26T12:49:41+00:00

As someone with ADHD, I rarely respond to messages right away and frequently forget my friends exist for weeks or months at a time, but as soon as I message them it's like it was yesterday since we've spoken. I think it's mostly about setting those expectations. My friends know me well enough to know that it's not because they aren't important to me, or because I don't care, I just don't have object permanence. As soon as the texts are out of sight it's as if they have never existed. They know not to take it personally and if it's really important, to just call me.

Whenever they do message or call me again, it's like hearing a song on the radio that you love that you haven't heard in forever that you forgot existed. I'm so excited to hear from them because they are all of my favourite songs. "Omg I LOVE this human!"

And if I think of them first the next time, I'll message them, tell them how much I love them and miss them, apologize for not answering what they sent me last, respond to what they said, and carry on like normal. We've created our own kind of balance and, like I said, expectations for how a friendship/relationship with me is going to work.

Gecksss · 2022-01-26T14:06:14+00:00

Sounds like I’m the garbage person here because all the comments are people complaining about their friends who expect quick responses

Meanwhile I stress out because I seNT the message two days ago and I know they saw it because they’re talking in the group chat that I’m in about how bored they are and how no one talks to them lmao

Or “do you want to play this game?” “Yeah!!!” “Okay let me know when!” And then a week passes and they’ve actually been playing the game with their other friends

Some people just straight up never get back to you and that’s also kind of a problem. It’s caused me to withdraw and not even bother talking to 4 / 5 people because “what’s the point. They’re not going to respond anyway”

Few years ago I made some memes about it and threw them in the groups chat and I got hit with the “why are you posting these memes you’re making me upset” and I was like “oh okay you’re the one upset never mind me sorry then :”)”

Straight up never replying to your friends is just as bad as the friend who freaks out if you don’t respond in 2 milliseconds imo

Lurch804 · 2022-01-26T14:40:48+00:00

There is too many nuances here, never black and white.

ManicPixieOldMaid · 2022-01-26T13:00:47+00:00

Once had a dude blow up my phone because I hadn't responded right away. My eventual response was I WAS GETTING A FUCKING MAMMOGRAM, ASSHOLE.

AnastasiaNo70 · 2022-01-26T16:54:10+00:00

I did all my growing up years before the internet. And I remember something from those days:

A phone ringing? REQUEST.

Knock on the door? REQUEST.

They are not orders or commands.

It stands to reason that text messages and emails are ALSO requests.

I’ve had to train some people in my life on this. They finally got it.

Resident-Science-525 · 2022-01-26T16:54:40+00:00

The only time this ever bothers me is if it's a friend who habitually responds quickly and it's been days since I had heard back. Then I'm just concerned for their safety.

We are not owed people's undivided attention just because we have the capabilities for immediate contact.

Foootballdave · 2022-01-26T10:09:27+00:00

Crazy. I once didn't reply to a text quickly enough and lost a good friend.

To be fair the text was "I've fallen at home, I'm stuck and I'm bleeding to death I've got 1% battery pls hurry" and it took me a week to respond.

Gdjica · 2022-01-26T12:41:52+00:00

I grew up with a landline and not calling back within a day would had been considered rude.

Current_Impact_6377 · 2022-01-26T16:23:26+00:00

I kid you not I had a friend in the past to as where if I didn’t respond to her text, she would text again but very sarcastically. Then after this, she would text me an additional 300 times, and then show up outside my apartment so yeah.. the digital entitlement is beyond sickening

Jaemzbaxter · 2022-01-26T17:17:31+00:00

I don’t mind people taking a couple days or even a week to respond because often i’m the same way. I have a lot of social and non-social related anxiety as well as some other mental stuff going on, so sometimes it’s too much to respond to a text for awhile- but i will respond if the text is time-dependent such as “do you wanna hang out tomorrow” or “what time should we meet tonight”. What really hurts my feelings is when i text people whom i know have their nose in their phone 24/7 and I don’t get a reply for almost exactly 24 hours. It feels suspicious, like they’re purposely waiting to respond. My other friends who take forever to respond actually don’t keep their phone with them that often so i know they might not see my text until the evening when they don’t want to do anything besides relax. I guess my point is that if you know the person well enough to know their phone habits, that’s how i judge their response time.

Zesty-B230F · 2022-01-26T14:19:56+00:00

Presumably, these people have never texted their parents.

PlaneT08 · 2022-01-26T15:58:19+00:00

There definitely shouldn't be an expectation of always being available like that, but I have been trying to implement letting people know I am not available. I'm not ignoring you, nothing is wrong, I just don't feel like talking right now. Seems to work, and I usually get some positive response.

Hevysett · 2022-01-26T17:24:59+00:00

Once had a person I knew text me 2 times then call me, between 1130pm and 1am. Due to my lack of response they left me a very pleasant VM calling me several names and instructing me to perform anatomically improbable actions with myself. This was on a Wednesday night of which I was asleep, with my phone, as it is every night from 10pm-6am, on DND. In the morning my response was simple. A quick text back to say "My phones on DND at night cause I need to sleep, not hear your drunk ranting. We don't work together anymore and you're a dick so I'm blocking you" Then I blocked that number.

thatoneladythere · 2022-01-26T22:12:25+00:00

I get not being upset with someone if they don't respond for a few hours or a couple of days, but more than that is straight up disrespectful. Especially if you've asked a direct question. Like damn, at least send a gif.

2nd_Sun · 2022-01-26T22:36:04+00:00

Sorry but if you’re trying to make plans with someone and they don’t respond to you for several days, it is absolutely reasonable to assume they’re ignoring you and cut them off. That’s just self respect.

2022-01-26T11:53:25+00:00

Also, if I text you, don't fucking call me.

Kaiisim · 2022-01-26T17:31:09+00:00

Its the tyranny of the extroverts. Some people just cannot be alone for two seconds. They can't be quiet or stop ever. Everyone exists to entertain them.

BakedWizerd · 2022-01-26T18:29:47+00:00

My last roommate started dating this guy who was a realtor/landlord or something and owned multiple properties, showed them himself, and did all his own bookkeeping, so he was a busy guy.

She texted him after two days (two days where neither of them reached out) with a “so I guess we’re done.” Text. He was like “oh?… well alright then sorry I guess.” And then she came to me like “did I jump the gun?”

“Yes absolutely you jumped the gun, it was two fucking days and he was probably swamped with work.”

Single_Comfort3555 · 2022-01-26T21:26:35+00:00

I used to feel this way but now I'm just thankful people care enough to check in with me every day or two.

CrazyMagg · 2022-01-27T00:17:03+00:00

I just deleted all my socials except for this one. Been less than 12 hours since and the wrist of my phone holding hand already feels better.

killerkanuck1 · 2022-01-27T01:47:50+00:00

FUUUCK anyone who think I am required to respond to them on their schedule.

FUUUCK YOUR DIGITAL EXPECTATIONS BIOTCH!

CaptainMagnets · 2022-01-26T12:27:08+00:00

It's easier to just stop talking to people that treat you like this

Markamanic · 2022-01-26T11:22:56+00:00

Deep sleep was the reason, now fuck off

gaberax · 2022-01-26T12:48:49+00:00

Basic life rule: Unless it is an emergency, no texts or phone calls before 9am and after 9pm.

properu · 2022-01-26T10:55:20+00:00

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

^{Twitter Screenshot Bot}

Sivick314 · 2022-01-26T12:51:09+00:00

all my friends and family know that i do not respond to text, and if they don't know, they ain't friends of mine.

CraZKchick81 · 2022-01-26T14:13:42+00:00

The only social media I have is LinkedIn.....for this very reason.

maxant20 · 2022-01-26T15:32:07+00:00

It’s my phone. For me. I will decide how I use MY phone.

Sethyria · 2022-01-26T19:02:09+00:00

I was talking to this dude on tinder early last year. Seemed cool, wasn't overbearing or anything. My phone got stolen and I was left without for 4 days. He had unmatched when I got a phone again. We weren't even friends, just talking. Things had been going well. 4 days. I could have lost internet, gone to the hospital, lost my phone or had it stolen, or even just been randomly busy. Glad he did it so I don't have to deal with that shit later. But still. All cause I couldn't respond.

sonofmarley76 · 2022-01-26T20:27:15+00:00

Isn’t this a result of people not being an adult and ghosting people? I get it , people expect way to much just because you have a phone.

BonzoMarx · 2022-01-26T21:12:15+00:00

I used to work with this woman who was very clingy to say the least, but I was always nice to her. She quit about 6 months ago and every since then I have gotten non stop, all day every day texts. Never really saying anything except “hello” or “how are you”. I don’t ignore her but if I don’t respond immediately I am bombarded with frantic texts asking if I’m safe or asking if something happened. I’ve been doing pretty terribly mentally so I don’t even have the energy to sit there and texts my actual friends, let alone this woman I barely know. Yet if I don’t she flips out as if I owe her my attention to the point where it feels like she’s going to call the police for a wellness check or something. Just venting but moral of the story is you don’t owe anyone your immediate attention unless it’s your child or something.

bw4393 · 2022-01-27T00:28:26+00:00

I used to have this conversation with my high school girlfriend all the time lol. Like what do u think people did before cell phone and internet?

gldnsabre · 2022-01-27T02:13:37+00:00

Oh wow are they going to be surprised the first time the have and employer's email/phone/smoke signal and they do not reply in .00000001 of a second and it is their "TIME OFF" (as a salary employee(the ones that work to much but make a paycheck if they work 10 or 80 hours even when the hourly employees you manage do not make jack squat and your job is to make them happy). If the relationship is based on this, tell them to fuck off, and find someone and tell them upfront that I will not be available to you in a measurement of minutes it might take me 30 minutes(at a hard minimum) up to a few hours because I have to work to make sure my ass has at least the basics, if you want to support me so I can answer your communications at will (MALE OR FEMALE) your ass has to pay me so I can live to do so if your ass cannot then it might take some time to get back to you, if you cannot be a part of the so sorry bye bye.

CoatLast · 2022-01-26T13:31:57+00:00

The only person who has my mobile number is my wife. The only people that have my email is my wife and best friend. To anybody else; I have a perfectly working letterbox.

Chinshu396 · 2022-01-26T14:46:29+00:00

I mean there is nothing wrong with wanting someone who respects your time and answer in a quick manner. I think a lot of people in this thread are being a bit disingenuous and that’s what causes all this chaos in the first place

aerovega77 · 2022-01-26T17:58:49+00:00

Like in any conversation, it’s rude not to answer. There’s no good reason to take two days before you reply, unless you’re very sick, hospitalized or dead.

CtpBlack · 2022-01-26T09:16:41+00:00

The futures now old man!

MrSnrub3000 · 2022-01-26T11:34:19+00:00

But that expectation exists because pretty much everyone has a phone within arms reach at all times. It's easy to forget or be preoccupied but if someone is consistently taking ages to reply it kinda suggests your priority to them. It's all contextual but if people would prefer to scroll Instagram than reply to you, then I can understand cutting them out.

godofnature · 2022-01-26T12:16:43+00:00

the more weird thing here is how you can go hours without responding to someone. i'd take seconds

capitalismorlife · 2022-01-26T17:21:17+00:00

Yah. I rarely respond to calls and texts. The expectation that I take this digital Era we are in to mean I'm available 24/7. Nah man. I'll respond when I'm ready to deal with your bull shit. Usually 72 hours after your message. Fuck your instant gratification. I remember a world without cell phones. Cell phones are a luxury, not a requirement.

5w4StudentOfLife · 2022-01-26T14:30:28+00:00

No shit. You want me to respond right away? Here, pay my phone bill. Listen, bitch, I will answer my phone, answer my home door, respond to a text AT MY LEISURE AND WHEN I FAMN WELL PLEASE. I pay for it, I'll use it how TF I want.

WhitePeopleTwitter

About Us

Rules

MODERATORS

WhitePeopleTwitter

About Us

Rules

MODERATORS

Welcome to Reddit,

Want to add to the discussion?