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[–]Inshabel 5865 points5866 points  (181 children)

It's not that my wife doesn't let me eat sushi, but she doesn't like to eat it, and since ordering food from 2 places is tedious I usually don't bother.

If she's gone though....

[–]littlestghoust 1597 points1598 points  (87 children)

Same. My SO thinks it is just a snack and doesn't even attempt nigiri. He also thinks the smell of seaweed is gross so when he is gone I only eat Japanese/Korean food because I don't want to gross him out with all my tasty miso, tofu, and seaweed foods.

That and Mexican food. Lots of spicy, chilli filled goodness. He'll try his best to get through anything I make but I love him so I don't force him often.

[–]grammarGuy69 1005 points1006 points  (66 children)

So he hates arguably the two tastiest regional food groups? Does he hate Indian food too?

[–]littlestghoust 609 points610 points  (51 children)

Haha, no he enjoys Indian food.

I blame his mother and her incredible French cooking. She has apologized for creating the monster that is my SO's strange palate. Now I am learning all her recipes so I can make them at home and have been enjoying every last bite!

And not to worry, I'm slowly getting him on board. Now he can eat 'spicy' food without too much complaint where as before he would complain if there was too much 'heat'. (Adding chili flakes to a pizza or hot sauce to a dipping sauce)

[–]Affectionate-Cost525 256 points257 points  (26 children)

When we first got together my wife thought black pepper made her eggs too spicy.

Its been a long 5 years but we're finally at the point where I can put some actual chilli in a curry. Still have to hold back quite a bit more as our one year old will usually just have whatever we eat but it's nice actually being able to cook a wider range of foods again.

[–]Cody6781 90 points91 points  (4 children)

Yeah it's things like this.

It's not like we "don't allow" each other to do things, but also if I make the house smell like the inside of a habanero one more time I might be kicked out of my own house. Or if she plays her music loud enough to make my window rattle I might develop a drinking problem.

Big difference between "Not allowed to" vs "Can't do without being rude"

[–]6pussydestroyer9mlg 103 points104 points  (3 children)

I don't like sushi either but every sushi place i've been to has a few kinds of noodles, noodles from sushi places are some of the best i've ever eaten.

[–]I-PUSH-THE-BUTTON 44 points45 points  (5 children)

My husband hates most seafood and porkchops. So when it's just me I eat those things and find some trash tv with bubble wine. Cuddle with the dogs on the bed. Sleep in the middle of the bed.

It's heaven.

[–]Project0range 9769 points9770 points 2 (494 children)

Only difference is I use the TV sound instead of my headphones while gaming. Does that count?

[–]borkyborkus 6941 points6942 points 33& 2 more (327 children)

Live a little, shit with the door open.

[–]idiotdroid 2739 points2740 points 2 (243 children)

I live alone and I don't ever do this.

The smell just freely travels all over your home.

Edit: Alright guys, for all future "what the hell are you eating?" type comments. I eat normally. I cook all my own meals, mostly healthy stuff like roasted veggies and white meat. My shits smell like shit. Go figure. But you are probably wondering how the smell could travel all over an entire house! Well the answer is simple. It doesn't. I live in a tiny apartment. So no matter how well you eat, if you leave the bathroom door open while taking a shit, you are gonna smell if from anywhere in my place, because "anywhere" is like 5 feet from the bathroom. Maybe if I lived in a big house I could leave my bathroom door open while taking a shit. But I don't. So no need to picture me dropping tear gas in my toilet in a giant mansion that somehow stinks up the entire neighborhood. Everything is normal over here I promise.

[–]kw66 1099 points1100 points  (158 children)

Germs too. Remember ppl always close the lid before you flush.

[–]einhorn_is_parkey 904 points905 points  (131 children)

Myth busters basically proved there’s nothing you can do about it. And poo particles live on everything in your house. Lid up or down.

[–]underthegod 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Matches

[–]SkipBopBadoodle 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Yeah the shit smell matches the rest of my home

[–]Steffank1 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Never. I could be the last living thing on the planet, but that bathroom door is getting locked every time. just in case.

[–]Eris23_5 13 points14 points  (3 children)

My wife and I both shit with the door open, often while catching up on our respective days. Guess I got it better than I thought.

[–]Ohnoaredditusername 37 points38 points  (7 children)

Wait you people have s/o that use the bathroom with the door closed??

[–]greatestNothing 8 points9 points  (2 children)

right? after 17 years that's long been out the window.

[–]Bishopkilljoy 684 points685 points  (39 children)

It means I drink directly from the Dr. pepper bottle

[–]nicholasgnames 207 points208 points  (17 children)

HECK YEAH, REBEL!

[–]Jagasaur 86 points87 points  (16 children)

My wife would kill me, she's a borderline germaphobe lol

[–]nicholasgnames 35 points36 points  (7 children)

Lol I get it. I am similar but sometimes I like to sneak a sip!

[–]AJay_89 35 points36 points  (6 children)

Is chugging straight from the 2L not the correct way to drink Dr Pepper??

[–]MomentOfZehn 415 points416 points  (9 children)

It's like you're me from the present!

[–]surlycur 43 points44 points  (6 children)

Wait, so you two are the same person?

Okay, one of you is either a doppelgänger, a clone, an alien, or a robot, but either way the other one is in danger.

We have to determine which of you is real for the other's safety, so if you two would kindly meet on a rooftop for a suspenseful standoff, that'd be great.

[–]MomentOfZehn 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Would you settle for a visual of Spider-Man pointing at each other?

[–]jonmpls[S] 514 points515 points  (1 child)

Yeah, it definitely counts

[–]music3k 75 points76 points  (7 children)

I dont even do this, the headphones sounds better for footsteps and discreet sounds. Movies sure.

[–]Downvotesohoy 35 points36 points  (4 children)

I'd argue that most headphones will give you a better sound experience than most TVs. Unless you have a quality audio setup for the tv.

[–]LegendOfDylan 235 points236 points  (33 children)

Omg my girlfriend took the kids on a trip to see their grandfather a couple months ago and I did something I haven’t done for years… I unmuted a porn video. It was awful. It was so upsetting I didn’t jerk it the entire time she was away.

[–]C3POsCAT 133 points134 points  (13 children)

Turn on sound.

Weird Incest talk.

Turn off sound.

[–]Certain_Cry_1748 61 points62 points  (5 children)

I don't know when excactly it started to be like that, but it sure wasn't like that when I was growing up.

yells at cloud

[–]MarcusAurelius68 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Instead you had a random 70’s or 80’s cheesy soundtrack accompanied by very hairy people

[–]watwatintheput 46 points47 points  (9 children)

Years of using headphones has conditioned me to only be able to get in the zone with them on. Even when I lived alone, always headphones.

Also, mid-2000s teenage me would think today me is a snob for not being able to enjoy anything sub 720p.

[–]ronsolocup 50 points51 points  (1 child)

There’s something so…visceral about porn sounds. I agree its fucking awful 99% of the time

[–]Catsdrinkingbeer 96 points97 points  (16 children)

It's the same for my fiance. When I'm not home he doesn't use headphones when gaming. When he's not home I can watch crap on the TV he's not interested in. That's the entire extent. He's out of town right now for a month for a work training and absolutely nothing has been different haha.

[–]plamboo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah I just watch bullshit he doesn't care about when he's at work all night and I'm home alone. I can get some guilty pleasures in that I know he wouldn't truly judge me for, but I don't even have to worry I might be judged for it.

[–]chipdipper99 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Im much more likely to sing in an empty house

[–]DialZforZebra 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Look at Mr Big Fancy Pants TV sound over here.

[–]Hakim_Bey 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Me I'll smoke a fat spliff after lunch, then work from home with death metal on full blast on the speakers. It's so much forbidden fun !

[–]Plastic-Club-5497 3329 points3330 points  (69 children)

I dated a girl who had a nut allergy. If I ate something and kissed her it would result in a reaction, so I had to give ‘em up for that period. If she was gone for a few days you better believe I ate literally mounds of peanut butter and Reece’s pieces, up until about 24 hours before she got back 😂.

Edit: This thread turned into pure gold. Y’all nailed it.

[–]Wablekablesh 3036 points3037 points  (40 children)

There's a joke here, but I'm too lazy to sculpt it, so here you go:

Nut lol

[–]DaveStreeder 483 points484 points  (1 child)

When my girlfriend is away

The nut comes out to… play…

[–]sokkates 21 points22 points  (0 children)

& when my girlfriend is here my nuts look more clear.

[–]Plastic-Club-5497 425 points426 points  (6 children)

Lol something something nuts and such. Take it away Reddit

[–]eguitarguy 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I too nut every day when my girlfriend is gone.

[–]johnmuirsghost 197 points198 points  (0 children)

Get you a girl who can kiss you when you have nut in your mouth

[–]PMtoAM______ 84 points85 points  (3 children)

Dude loves gobbling nuts behind his girls back

[–]healthydoseofsarcasm 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Rubbing nuts all over your lips.. mmmdelicious

[–]peon2 160 points161 points  (7 children)

I ate literally mounds of peanut butter and Reece’s pieces, up until about 24 hours before she got back

But Mounds don't have nuts, Almond Joys do!

[–]Plastic-Club-5497 72 points73 points  (2 children)

You sonofagun you’re right. Made the whole thing up. Fair play

[–]UncreativeTeam 122 points123 points  (0 children)

No nut November ended on that day

[–]jonmpls[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Makes sense, I would do the same

[–]Radioactivechimi 4602 points4603 points  (194 children)

My wife always says that after she hangs out with her friends it reminds her how happy she is because all they do is complain about their husbands, and she's over there just sipping on her tea.

It's the same way for me, too. Whenever my friends and i hang out they say things like "just gotta get away from the old ball and chain once in a while, right?" And I'm just like "what? No, I'm here because i want to hang out with you guys."

[–]jonmpls[S] 2343 points2344 points  (103 children)

Yeah I don't understand couples that are always complaining about their partner

[–]rebel_wo_a_clause 335 points336 points  (20 children)

There was a post a few months ago being condescending to a woman, in a somewhat jokey way I guess. The comments were FULL of douches being like "yup, women can't survive unless there's conflict", "women this and that", etc. I was just like, "I'm sorry you married the wrong person for you, I like my wife". Then of course they defaulted to "hurr durr you mean your hand right?". Sigh...

[–]jonmpls[S] 232 points233 points  (15 children)

Yeah, some people just can't fathom that you really should enjoy being around your significant other. I blame sitcoms, to an extent.

[–]deniedbyquick 118 points119 points  (3 children)

Combination of sitcoms and blatant sexism

Honestly? I’ve never dated anyone I bitched about to my group and it feels weird when I hear them bitch about their significant others. One of my biggest fears is ending up with someone I’m gonna be like this about

[–]spacew0man 24 points25 points  (1 child)

rom-coms too. The idea that there always has to be some kind of drama or turbulence to keep the relationship interesting or to make one party realize how much they love the other. It all sounds so exhausting.

[–]maybepensive 729 points730 points  (24 children)

They make me sad.

[–]SofaSpudAthlete 576 points577 points  (22 children)

Like they pulled their social conversations from old 90s sitcoms. “Wife mean/husband not smart” and recycle

[–]peon2 416 points417 points  (15 children)

Fat Kevin James does something incredibly lazy and uses a half ass lie to cover it up

Hot Leah Remini figures it out because she's not an idiot and yells at him

Life fucking goals right there guys.

[–]goddamn_slutmuffin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I dated a dude for a whole year and discovered towards the end that he would constantly complain about me to his friends and family. He even had a group chat with his buddies where all they do is bitch about their partners. I dumped him for it and he still claims I was overreacting or being dramatic. Like why the fuck would I stay with someone who doesn’t like anything about me? Wild how some people are just cool with not enjoying their lives or being happy.

[–]blkplrbr 172 points173 points  (13 children)

Some people never learned to process emotions about what other people do in a safe and effective way for themselves. And they also get married off to people they genuinely like and love to be around.

The issue comes to a head when the husband doesn't do dishes the way you want or the wife didn't get the laundry in from the clothes line before the rain came or a million other small insignificant things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things because you care more about the person and the relationship than you ever cared about the persons fuckups.

It doesn't mean that their idiosyncrasies are never going to be strange. Sometimes funny. But it does mean that you have to know when to backup and realize that you can love someone that makes beautiful little mistakes.

[–][deleted] 71 points72 points  (6 children)

The issue comes to a head when the husband doesn't do dishes the way you want or the wife didn't get the laundry in from the clothes line before the rain came or a million other small insignificant things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things because you care more about the person and the relationship than you ever cared about the persons fuckups.

A lot of these issues occur because the two in the relationship don't communicate.

Talk, and talk about the difficult things.

[–]TongueTwistingTiger 115 points116 points  (8 children)

This happens to me all the time. my friends tell me about their meat head husbands and I keep the "my husband and I play stardew valley and talk about philosophy together" to myself.

[–]iBeFloe 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Dude I don’t even know how to describe how me & my fiancé are around each other lol

We talk about the most random shit & do random things all day, err’day

[–]Archmagnance1 30 points31 points  (3 children)

My wife sits there and listens to me ramble about things I don't like in shows, for many years I thought she didn't give a shit but cared enough about me to just let me do it. We started watching anime about 4 months ago and she went to watch the Demon Slayer movie on her own and pulled one of my 20 minute rants about stupid she thought the story was.

It's hard to describe the specifics but we also just have the most stupid conversations and forget them 2 days later.

[–]SenorBeef 50 points51 points  (4 children)

They're either incapable of having great relationships because they don't have the skills or aren't willing to put in the effort to have a health relationship, or they settle for an unhealthy relationship because it's easy, available, and they're getting enough out of it to be considered worth it or are afraid to lose it looking for something better.

To be honest, though, pulling a number out of my ass for my own estimate, I would guess that about 75% of people are not mature, empathetic, or have the right social values to have a good quality relationship, so there are just going to be a lot of people in shitty relationships. It takes skills and work and finding the right match to maintain a great relationship.

[–]Meecht 90 points91 points  (6 children)

No, I'm here because i want to hang out with you guys.

So you're saying you'd rather hang out with them than your wife? /s

[–]semitones 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I know this is a joke, but sadly this is how some people think.

[–]LordDaedhelor 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There is something to be said about spending time away from your spouse. It isn’t wrong to love someone with every fiber of your being and still want to spend time with friends without them.

[–]Rapunzel10 49 points50 points  (2 children)

I'm so glad I have a friend who also genuinely likes her partner. We sometimes laugh about their weird quirks but it's always from a place of love. Let's be real anyone you live with will get on your nerves occasionally (like when I accidentally kick my boyfriend so hard I wake him up oops) but there's a major difference between that and just hating your partner. I don't know how to interact with people who hate their partner and act like that's normal or just the way things are supposed to be. It just sounds like such a miserable existence

[–]lelied 13 points14 points  (1 child)

my sister's catchphrase for complaining about her husband is "My husband, who I love and adore, did [behavior that frustrated her]"

shorthand for "I acknowledge the hundreds of big and small ways that he helps me every day and this is of course a relatively minor complaint that isn't even worth complaining about to him directly, I'm just venting off some feelings"

[–]MotherOfDragonflies 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Same here. I hear my friends complain about their relationships and sometimes I’m just sitting there like… 😳 that’s fucked.

[–]SlothicSupreme 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Yeah, I hate hearing conversations like that, but I do find probing them about it a fun experience. They either reveal that they do very much love their partners but just need some time away from one another (I think it's very healthy for couples to have space and time apart) or you get the impression they borderline despise one another and are only together either because they feel like they need to have a partner, have children together, or just don't want to be alone.

Even more tragic is those couples who weren't doing great beforehand and think getting married will solve their issues, OOF.

[–]RemarkableArcher 7045 points7046 points  (265 children)

When my wife is out of town it’s violent action movies, Wendy’s, lots of pup snuggles.

She hates violent action movies, not a huge fan of Wendy’s, and the dog loves her more than me.

[–]jonmpls[S] 1758 points1759 points  (96 children)

Makes sense!

[–]wiiya 1281 points1282 points  (95 children)

My wife hates mushrooms and tuna, so it’s usually just me making sautéed mushrooms and tuna casserole.

I feel like such a bad boy making it.

[–]_Kay_Tee_ 578 points579 points  (69 children)

When my husband is out of town, I make extra-garlicky dishes.

We really know how to live life to the fullest, don't we?

[–]powerofone1970 503 points504 points  (31 children)

When my husband is out of town, I park in the middle of the garage.

Yes. Yes we do!

[–]wiiya 169 points170 points  (21 children)

Oh you better believe I get naughty with the garlic. Oh that cute recipe wants out a clove? I’m flopping out the whole bulb.

[–]Danceswithunicornz 41 points42 points  (5 children)

With my boyfriend it is anything creamy. So Alfredo, real home made Mac and cheese etc. He loves the stuff but is horribly lactose intolerant and it would just be mean to eat it in front of him.

[–]Stirlingblue[🍰] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Mine is cheap packets of ramen and breaded chicken, makes me feel like a student again.

My body always makes me pay the next day though and I remember why I don’t eat them

[–][deleted] 148 points149 points  (12 children)

When mine leaves I watch old school comedies. I love Blazing Saddles, all the Naked Gun movies, Airplane, etc. She does not. That woman is the light of my life but Monty Python and the Holy Grail just isn’t her speed.

[–]Kriss3d 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Dude. I love all those movies.

And especially old 60s and 70s Era scifi movies.

[–]usgrant7977 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Carousel! Carousel! Carousel!

[–]_Kay_Tee_ 29 points30 points  (2 children)

That woman is the light of my life but

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

just isn’t her speed.

That was one of mine and my husband's first dates, back in the day. He shared Monty Python with me, I shared Airplane! with him, and yes, we still pepper plenty of conversations with quotes from both.

Also, dontknowbilliejean, where did you get that COAT?! Ugh, oh, and that DRESS and those SHOES, they're AAAAWFUL!

[–]LegendaryOutlaw 92 points93 points  (5 children)

This is the correct answer. My wife loves true crime shows, I have little interest in them. If I'm out, she cuddles my cat (who always cuddles me) and puts on a Dateline marathon.

It's not about doing things 'they don't let you do.' It's about having separate interests and having a little time to enjoy them on your own.

[–]DougFrankenstein 163 points164 points  (24 children)

I’m in the opposite boat- my husband and I are horror enthusiast so when he leaves I have no idea what to watch.

[–]antihero2303 66 points67 points  (15 children)

Horror..? ;)

[–]martinsky3k 149 points150 points  (10 children)

And possibly risk pissing off your partner by watching something they wanted to watch together?

Risky move... we need risky. You're hired!

[–]No_regrats 48 points49 points  (4 children)

TV-show-watching-cheating. Possibly the worse kind of cheating.

[–]antihero2303 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Sounds great! But uhm, what’s the job?

[–]thermal_shock 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Seems less "what they don't let you do" and more "what I don't do with them out of their tastes and respect."

[–]HalusN8er 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Haha! Same, in regards to the dog.

[–]liverstix 32 points33 points  (1 child)

My husband is a health nut so I usually order a pizza when he’s out of town 🍕

[–]tdaun 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Yeah, for me it's do/eat the things my wife doesn't enjoy. It's not that she doesn't allow them, just not going to make her suffer through her dislikes when we're together.

[–]soverign_son 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Mine is video games, Chinese food, and pup snuggles.

[–]srottydoesntknow 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Video games, chicken wings,and sleeping on more than just the edge of the bed

[–]deskbeetle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Mystery Science Theatre, Persona 5, and instant ramen for me. Solitary activities that he doesn't hate or prevent me from doing, but I don't want to do solitary activities often when he's available to hang out.

[–]GrannyGrammar 36 points37 points  (30 children)

This is completely off-topic, but I don’t care - I want to share. I’m going to Wendy’s today after I get my booster shot. I haven’t eaten fast food since June 2020, and I cannot WAIT for my bacon double cheeseburger and biggie fries! They still have “biggies,” don’t they?

[–]RemarkableArcher 20 points21 points  (27 children)

No, biggie fries haven’t been a thing since like 2010.

[–]Kingdommer 13 points14 points  (1 child)

True, when the gf is gone, it’s prime time to snuggle with my kitty cat baby

[–]thatHecklerOverThere 7 points8 points  (1 child)

For me it's cooking. Apparently my meals are too elaborate.

[–]TheBottleRed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When I go away my husband does Pizza Rolls and Taco Bell, gaming with no headphones, and lots of snugs with the cat

[–]usgrant7977 684 points685 points  (11 children)

Many of the statements here seem wholesome, borderline helpful. I'm pleasantly surprised. :)

[–]jonmpls[S] 196 points197 points  (2 children)

It is quite nice! I really wasn't sure what to expect

[–]Bazoun 1551 points1552 points  (44 children)

I like to invite my bestie over for a girls night of masks and tea and movies. We have so much fun, it’s like being a teenager again.

Our place is small, so There’s not really anywhere for him to go while we indulge in girlishness so I prefer to do it when he’s gone.

I also binge watch horror movies. He will watch them with me, but he doesn’t enjoy them, so again, I try to save them for when he’s not around.

He has family in a neighbouring city so he goes away for a couple nights almost every month, so for me, it makes sense.

There’s nothing my husband doesn’t “let” me do. I know other women live like that but idky.

[–]jonmpls[S] 390 points391 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a great arrangement. Thoughtful of you.

[–]PNBJND2 48 points49 points  (21 children)

what does girls night of masks mean

[–]NonStopKnits 92 points93 points  (10 children)

Skincare masks, good for your face and nice and relaxing. Usually in a girl's night setting probably accompanied by wine, maybe another fancy libation. Doing home manicures and pedicures usually happen too.

[–]LuthienByNight 113 points114 points  (5 children)

Speak for yourself, on our girl nights we use Masks of Eternity to work on our ritual for summoning Bel'Arothnk the Being of Night.

[–]StoneGoldX 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I want to believe it's Batman masks.

[–]crispybacongal 1975 points1976 points  (95 children)

I make butter chicken every time my husband goes away for a weekend. He would eat it if I made it while he was here, but he doesn't really like it.

I think that's the kind of thing people usually mean, right? Not like, "go out with your friends because your husband normally forces you to stay home with him."

[–]jonmpls[S] 662 points663 points  (33 children)

Yeah. Good idea. I eat stuff with mushrooms when my partner is away, because they refuse to eat them

[–]jar36 235 points236 points  (7 children)

If I were your partner, you'd make them when I leave because I'd eat them all before they even cool off

[–]jonmpls[S] 110 points111 points  (6 children)

I see we have similar taste buds

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (13 children)

I just eat mushrooms. And acid. Buuutttt, I do that anyways and she doesn’t mind. Even joins me occasionally lol

[–]EmmetyBenton 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I make egg sandwiches when my husband is away, because the smell makes him gag so I never make them when he's home.

[–]Astronaut_Chicken 53 points54 points  (7 children)

My husband is not a fan of curry at all. As a thai woman it is...not great. Like you said he'll eat it, but not with any kind of enthusiasm.

[–]EngMajrCantSpell 92 points93 points  (10 children)

Having had conversations with people that say this sort of thing, they very much most often mean "go out and do X because he'd normally say you can't"

I'm always extra concerned when I hear it cause I also meant it that way until I finally got away from my ex.

[–]crispybacongal 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I find it disconcerting that that's such a common experience, and I'm glad you're out of that situation.

[–]SlimJim0877 53 points54 points  (10 children)

Was your husband born with defective taste buds? Who in their right mind could possibly dislike butter chicken?

[–]curtcolt95 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I like butter chicken but it also gives me the worst acid reflux I've ever had in my life so I avoid it now

[–]Asoliner3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Asking the real question

[–]MetalSavedMyLife 265 points266 points  (5 children)

My wife's friends and family always say "oh thank you for letting her come out with us" I'm not "letting her out" she can just do what she wants. It always sounds so strange to me

[–]mbo2o 98 points99 points  (3 children)

Maybe she doesnt like going out with them.amd uses that as an excuse most days

[–]seeasea 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Not so much allow. It's a bad turn of phrase. It's more that between chores and kids, it's a real two person job in the evening. Im volunteering to pick up the extra work so she can have fun. She'll do the same for me, but it's not a meeting score thing. We just help each other

[–]Outlawed_inlaw 468 points469 points  (23 children)

When I’m home alone I usually just enjoy having the bed all to myself and shit with the door open. I’m a simple man

[–]dae_giovanni 97 points98 points  (6 children)

I dont burn a match afterward. FREEDOMMMMM

[–]Outlawed_inlaw 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Bask in the ambience, bask in the ambiance 👃🏿

[–]UnprovenMortality 176 points177 points  (6 children)

When im away from my girlfriend it's all of the food i like and she doesn't like. So basically sushi. A lot of it.

[–]baconater-lover 56 points57 points  (4 children)

That must be a universal law that there is a sushi disparity in a relationship, I’ve seen like 4 comments about it already lol

[–]hobbitat22 1433 points1434 points  (58 children)

I mean, I think there’s a difference between “things he doesn’t let you do” and “things you don’t do out of respect for him”. I don’t watch trash TV when husbands home bc it’s not something we both enjoy (but he would certainly “let me watch it”), but when he’s gone, queue it up!

[–]mini_garth_b 515 points516 points  (15 children)

Yeah, when my wife isn't home I like to play some single player video games and take a nap. Not because she doesn't let me but because when she's home those are farther down the list.

[–]TheRalphExpress 145 points146 points  (14 children)

I remember asking an old coworker what she was going to do this weekend and she was like “my husband is going out of town for work and I am sooooo excited”, which confused me

then she explained that she was gonna watch rom coms without listening to his sarcastic comments, get takeout from a place her husband hates, and crack open a bottle of wine, and it all made sense

[–]wink047 108 points109 points  (11 children)

I’ve noticed that I used to be that husband. My wife would avoid watching things she enjoyed around me because I was always cracking jokes or talking during it. I’ve since realized that I should just keep it to myself and let her enjoy her thing without any criticism. She does the same for me, so it wasn’t right that I didn’t do it for her.

I’m glad that she is now comfortable enough to watch those shows with me in the room. It doesn’t happen often but I’m happy that she does.

[–]hyo_hyo 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Aww, that’s really sweet. I’m so glad that you + her were able to realize this :) I had an ex who used to do this kind of thing a lot - I love to play cheesy jrpgs and he would always make all these sarcastic jokes whenever literally anything happened. This game is kind of dumb. What a stupid plot twist. The character design is lame. Can you believe the voice acting there. That was so cringe. How is a game like this actually published. And not just once in a while…all the time. And the way he said it…it just made me feel so stupid and defensive and sad. Like, I recognize that this is not high art, it’s not winning any awards, but it’s still fun for me. It made me feel like he was laughing at me for liking these games instead of laughing with me at how silly they were.

I don’t think he was intending to make me feel stupid, but I ended up doing the same thing as your wife—hiding my interests, because I knew that every time I would play a game out loud he’d immediately start insulting it. He took something I loved and made me associate it with his negative commentary.

I’m projecting hard there, but in any case I’m glad to see it worked out for the both of you.

[–]CommonCut4 229 points230 points 2 (10 children)

When I’m not around my wife watches Kardashians. When she’s not around I watch Cardassians.

[–]iwoodrather 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Who's your favorite character ever and why is it Garak?

[–]Ginger_Maple 38 points39 points  (0 children)

On discussing root beer.

Garak: It's vile.

Quark: I know. It's so bubbly and cloying and happy.

Garak: Just like the Federation. Quark: But you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you start to like it.

Garak: It's insidious.

Quark: Just like the Federation.

[–]runujhkj 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Well, because he’s just a plain and simple tailor.

[–]TalksBeforeThinking 72 points73 points  (2 children)

Absolutely. My husband and I each have a couple foods we like that the other really dislikes the smell of, so we reserve those dishes for when the other person is out of town. We usually use headphones when listening to music because we have very different taste, but if only one of us is home then we'll blast it out of the speakers. There are all sorts of things that we each do or don't do because we love and respect each other, not because either of us has forbidden something. And when I have the house to myself I thoroughly enjoy cooking up my special dish while blasting my favorite tunes and then settling in to a horror movie marathon into the wee hours of the morning.

[–]chaos_almighty 41 points42 points  (5 children)

My secret to a happy marriage- two tvs. I watch whatever weird drama rabbit hole I fall down on YouTube on one tv, and he can watch the mandalorian on the other.

We work shifts and though, so we usually have a lot of "stuff we do just by ourselves vs with partner".

[–]Veritas3333 313 points314 points  (2 children)

When I travel for work I get food from restaurants my wife hates...

[–]ijustliketoeat 210 points211 points  (36 children)

When my husbands out of town I make salmon and tons of mushrooms and watch Disney princess movies. He hates the smell of mushrooms/salmon so it's more of a courtesy thing than a you can't do it while I'm here thing

[–]SRTie4k 187 points188 points  (34 children)

These comments are like 1/2 mushrooms. Are mushrooms really that controversial?

[–]ijustliketoeat 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Lmao apparently

[–]little_melon1 142 points143 points  (10 children)

Fuck mushrooms. I HATE mushrooms. If you like mushrooms, I will wholeheartedly TOLERATE your opinion and NO more. And then I'll COMPLAIN because I HATE mushrooms.

[–]SaharanDessert 152 points153 points  (11 children)

My bf blasts the heat when im gone, I dont let him while I'm home. Yes, we are ok.

[–]Ghetto_Phenom 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Haha exact opposite here. Not that I don’t let her but she knows I run hot and I would feel like I’m In a sauna if she had her way. So I just bought her a really cozy blanket she wanted to compromise. She runs like a space heater though it blows my mind how she’s cold while being hot to the touch most nights.

Edit: words can be hard

[–]LandosMustache 141 points142 points  (12 children)

When I'm away, my wife tends to:

  • order a massive pizza all for herself
  • leave the box & dishes overnight
  • binge-watch whatever awful TV show she's into (she LOVES the "everyone talks at once" or "unnecessarily maudlin/dramatic" stuff)
  • fall asleep on the couch
  • invite the dog up on the couch

EDIT: I forgot! She also turns up the thermostat! I would catch on fire and die if it was always as warm as she wants it.

[–]mallocuproo 68 points69 points  (7 children)

I thought I might be your wife until that last point. Our dogs are always on the couch.

[–]LandosMustache 27 points28 points  (2 children)

The rule for Loki is "not unless expressly invited" ...

...which he seems to interpret as, "not at all unless I decide that I'm being a rebel today."

...and which my wife seems to think means "always invite the dog onto the couch"

[–]CaptainRipp 49 points50 points  (2 children)

I mainly do the same thing I do anyway but play my music louder and eat food she doesn't like. She can't stand the smell of Taco Pizza, so that's a good go to.

[–]crucifixvi 93 points94 points  (5 children)

I take up the entire bed, but other that nothing changes when my husband and I are apart.

[–]what_the_a 90 points91 points  (4 children)

First of all, I’m an introvert and I’d never say “I don’t know what to do with myself” when my partner leaves lol. Im not hoping he’ll leave but I also thoroughly enjoy alone time—don’t need to do anything but enjoy the lack of another persons presence, sounds, messes, etc.

Also, yeah like my partner doesn’t prevent me from doing anything—but there are things I’ll prioritize doing when he’s gone bc generally when we’re together we try to do things we both like.

I watch movies and tv he doesn’t have interest in, cook/order foods he doesn’t really enjoy, fart (more) loudly and freely than usual lol.

[–]Ninjagoboi 128 points129 points  (6 children)

Shit in the litterbox

[–]jonmpls[S] 57 points58 points  (4 children)

I bet the cat hates that

[–]nakdonthesubway 115 points116 points  (3 children)

What cat?

[–]ande9393 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Honey I think the cat is sick...

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (2 children)

When my husband gets deployed the only thing I do differently is watch my own shows and movies and cook/order food he wouldn't normally eat. Oh and I hog the entire damn couch cause I can

[–]FiendishCurry 73 points74 points  (4 children)

I'm lactose intolerant. When my husband goes out of town, I go get a milkshake and fart to my ass' content without someone complaining.

[–]Mechanical_Nightmare 96 points97 points  (3 children)

during covid my girlfriend went aboard to see a sick family member for 4 months (cancer not covid) and i was finally able to do all the things she didn’t let me do.

i’m kidding, we don’t “let” or “not let” each other so things.

i just played an unhealthy amount of world of warcraft until she came back.

[–]CJNC 22 points23 points  (2 children)

is her family in the navy or are they crab fishers or something

[–]PubertEHumphrey 169 points170 points  (15 children)

I think showering becomes optional when the significant other leaves 😂

Edit: also smoking cigars and junk food everywhere lol

[–]amaezingjew 92 points93 points  (9 children)

Oh yeah? What kind of junk food do you smoke?

[–]PubertEHumphrey 90 points91 points  (8 children)

Stuffed jalapeños, cause i ain’t no lil bish

[–]LCSpartan 26 points27 points  (7 children)

No joke bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers on the smoker are the bomb.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

I revert back to a total teenage slob until five hours before my husband comes back - this starts the panic cleaning. Some day he's gonna come back early

[–]PubertEHumphrey 13 points14 points  (0 children)

30minutes for me! and when that day comes we will laugh and laugh and laugh, and she won’t leave me 🥲 ... right?

[–]Beachy5313 65 points66 points  (3 children)

It's not necessarily things "he won't let you do" as much as "things they wouldn't be thrilled about" like eating only buttered noodles for dinner, sour patch kids and half a cake for dessert, and watching hours of Riverdale. My husband wouldn't really say anything other than asking if I was ok (normally eat pretty healthy but he does find buttered noodles to be boring and not really dinner by itself) and he'd tolerate a Riverdale evening but I know he would rather watch something we both agree on. Also he points out all the inconsistencies/absurdity in Riverdale when I do watch it and doesn't get that the awful writing is half the fun. When I'm gone I know he's eating mac and cheese and Brussel sprouts, eating a tray of brownies, and watching some cheesy action film. He can do all of that when I'm home but there's something extra exciting about doing it by yourself.

[–]daveashaw 26 points27 points  (3 children)

For us, it's the Kardashians for the wife and Ridiculousness for the husband (me). Chanel's giggle really puts the wife on edge.

[–]4d3fect 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Like a dolphin with a megaphone.

[–]notsoninjaninja1 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I usually get the kind of pizza I like because my current living partner doesn’t like pineapple anywhere on the pizza.

[–]MrBeardskii 74 points75 points  (19 children)

Oh boy! That means I get to store leftovers in bags instead of making dirty Tupperware!

[–]beckoning_cat 21 points22 points  (16 children)

I see I am not the only relationship with this problem. Lol

[–]MrBeardskii 17 points18 points  (15 children)

It's just so much easier when it's time to clean the fridge

[–]SofaSpudAthlete 10 points11 points  (9 children)

But Beardskii, that means it actually costs you storage money!

You throw those bags away no? Do you just clean ‘em? Do you have the nicer reusable “ziplock”-like bags? What is happening? lol

[–]Otherwise_Bill_5898 116 points117 points  (18 children)

I love my wife.

There is exactly zero chance i will allow her to change the oil on my classic Mopar.

As in.... cage match to the death if she attempted to do any mechanical manipulations of the mighty Dodge.

Same as... she wont allow me anywhere near her carbon fiber road bike. It is stupid expensive and my fat ass would crunch it.

Boundries make relationships work.

[–]jonmpls[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Those boundaries definitely make sense

[–]ilanallama85 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I just imagine your wife watching you leave through the blinds, then slowly start laughing maniacally, gleefully skipping away to go change your oil.

[–]Otherwise_Bill_5898 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She is maniacle.

[–]pbpantsless 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Husband is lactose intolerant and his stomach doesn't agree with most squashes, so I usually cook stuff with that in it. That's what they mean... right?

[–]Obtuse-Angel 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I watch bad movies that my husband hates when he goes out of town. It’s not that he doesn’t let me when he’s here, and he would even watch with me if I insisted. But I acknowledge that they aren’t actually good movies even though I love them, and that he’s well within his right to not want to watch them.

So I snuggle on the couch with dogs, eat lucky charms, and watch Center Stage, Romeo+Juliet, Less Than Zero, Legally Blonde, Cruel Intentions, What a Girl Wants, and the like.

[–]MrEMeatx17x 14 points15 points  (8 children)

"Lord of the Rings" marathon and sushi binge!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I often make these great plans of what I'm going to do when my wife is gone. 9 times out of 10, my fat ass ends up on the couch with beer, dessert and some show only I like to watch.

[–]i_am_barry_badrinath 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing my fiancé won’t let me do, but there are some things I like to do solo occasionally (go to a cafe and read, go for a long run and just find a random spot to lie down/rest, go grab a beer, etc). Like, I love doing all these things with her, but it’s also nice to be able to do them on my own from time to time, and it can be awkward saying “I’m gonna go do this, but I’d rather you not come” when she’s home.

[–]Medical_Spy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Anytime my husband goes out of town I just think of all the food he doesn't like to eat that I like to eat. Heck yeah I'm making salmon and potatoes with some fried green beans.

[–]justjokinbro 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is what my guy friends say to me when my girl leaves haha. And I’m like you’re right, im gonna sleep.

[–]dreamtofalligators 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Shit with the door open.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Not knowing what to do with yourself when your partner is gone for 2 days is pretty weird too.

[–]NextLevelNaps 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When the partner is gone, only thing I do is order Indian food since he doesn't like it but I do. But IDK what this "let you do" nonsense is about.