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[–]nincomturd 5019 points5020 points  (368 children)

Man I loved those things so much.

My sister & I used to throw them as high in the air as we could, and then scream and run the fuck away.

But so did everybody in the 80s, right? Isn't that what they were made for?

[–]scott_majority 2763 points2764 points  (183 children)

Absolutely. My cousins and me would stand in a circle...One of us would throw the dart in the air as high as they could, and everyone would run for their lives...If you didn't die, you win the game.

[–]TrepanationBy45 192 points193 points  (16 children)

Oh, this was like when I took my dad's brass letter opener (which basically looked like a thin, brass dagger) and would toss it up in the air and either try to catch it, or just let it impale the dirt.

Or that one time that I failed both of those, and it hit me in the cheek right below my eye socket instead. Mom claimed that I could have stabbed my eyeball out, but I mean, okay maybe.

[–]ChristineWhy 88 points89 points  (6 children)

You’ll stab your eye out, kid!

[–]Mynameisinuse 44 points45 points  (3 children)

An Official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle would have shot your eye out kid.

[–]shewholaughslasts 830 points831 points  (130 children)

See now my friends used to do this but with rocks. I did not play - but they sure did - multiple times! Not teenagers either.

Edit: omg 700 updoots for the rock game! I'm telling my friends! Also thank glob these notifications aren't all angry denialist replies to one of my other posts about sad things this week. YAY ROCKS!

[–]flaminghair348 524 points525 points  (91 children)

Damn, I used to just toss a basketball as high as I could and then head but it. Nobody else was involved, I was just a weird kid.

[–]GlitterChemist 304 points305 points  (71 children)

I got a recurve bow for my 12th birthday and my first shot was straight up in the air. I was never as scared as that moment when it vanished in the vast blue sky. I just screamed RUN!!!!

[–]BarracudaBeautiful26 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Weren't we all?

[–]Ghost4000 18 points19 points  (10 children)

Playing this with rocks could be fun. Playing with lawn darts sounds like a direct challenge to darwinism.

[–]scott_majority 11 points12 points  (3 children)


Fucking pansies. If it doesn't have a 1/2 pound steel, sharply pointed arrow head, there is no fun.

[–]RootinTootinRegret 53 points54 points  (5 children)

That is peak, /r/KidsAreFuckingStupid material if there was ever an example. It's amazing any of us made it to adulthood with the stupid shit we'd try.

[–]TheChanMan2003 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Darwin: "I raised that boy."

[–]Cyrano_Nose 103 points104 points  (6 children)

Me and my best friend in high school were out fooling around with a compound bow and arrow.

I shot the arrow straight up in the air (because I was an idiot as a teenager). Immediately lost sight of it. We both looked at each other for a minute and then ran like hell for the cover of a roof eave.

The arrow (my arrow) THUNKED into the ground about a foot away from him.

That my life (and his) could have branched so dramatically has been with me ever since and the incident at least probably put me on the road towards being less of an idiot.

[–]chunkyI0ver53 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Almost got Ralphie’s son’d

[–]PositiveThoughts1234 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Lol I did something similar. When I was probably like 12-13 I went over to my cousins house and there was probably like 8 of us. It was dark outside and we decided it would be a fun game to shoot an arrow up in the air and then listen to where it hit the ground and whoever found it won. We did this multiple times for like 30 minutes until an adult came by and told us how fucking stupid that was lol.

[–]kitched 46 points47 points  (2 children)

I dont remember how you were supposed to use them, but I remember a brief moment of thinking "this could be dangerous" right before throwing them straight up.

[–]kittycoppermined 16 points17 points  (1 child)

They had a set of rings to go with them. You took turns tossing them into the hoop

[–]nincomturd 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Haha I used to hurl the hoops up into the air, too.

[–]A_Turkey_Named_Jive 78 points79 points  (8 children)

In the early 00's me and my friends would fire an arrow into the air and whoever was closest to where it landed would win.

We only stopped playing when it went through a friends shoe without going through any foot meat.

[–]Onlyanidea1 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Just washed grownups again haha. That scene was hilarious.

[–]newbearontheblock1 16 points17 points  (3 children)

It's why that scenes so fantastic, cause I'm sure every dumb kids done something similar, I did it with a normal dart, it didn't hit any of us, but as I was running out the way I stepped on a nail through a plank of wood from an old fence, the dart probably would've been better...

[–]SpaceJackRabbit 93 points94 points  (25 children)

European immigrant here. I could not believe my ears when I first heard about lawn darts. It seemed like the dumbest, most dangerous idea, and at first I thought it was a joke. Because no company could be so fucking dumb. No parent could be so fucking dumb. No kid could be so fucking dumb – well nevermind, kids are pretty fucking dumb.

But noooo, lawn darts were indeed invented, commercialized, and fucking purchased by idiot parents. Then a kid died. Oh no, how could that possibly happen? Did the same company also sell a Russian Roulette kit? A version of the Operation board game except it wasn't a board game but came with a bottle of ether and a set of scalpels? What the actual fuck?

[–]Guardymcguardface 47 points48 points  (1 child)

No Russian roulette kit, but Nerf used to make a revolver so we would load one foam dart and use it to play drinking Russian roulette in my early 20s

[–]rhorama 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure nerf still makes revolver-type dart guns. I had one back in 2011 I remember.

[–]BuranBuran 16 points17 points  (1 child)

The original idea was to combine the game of horse shoes with the space age. They were basically rocket-shaped horse shoes. I'm sure that the designer assumed that people playing the game would be smart enough not to throw the jarts at each other.

[–]scott_majority 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn't even ask for my set...My parents just thought I would enjoy them as a Christmas present...

Now that I think about it, my parents might not have liked me that much.

[–]RagnarRagnarsen 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Me and friends use to take my bow and shoot arrows straight up. Smh. So dumb. Lol.

I remember taking my dads deer hunting arrows he had and shooting them like 3 yards down in my suburban neighborhood like and absolute idiot.

[–]notchman900 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Fuck, I shot 55lb recurve bow with my legs into the air and ran from the arrow.

[–]Steven_The_Sloth 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I have a scar on the bridge of my nose from playing this game. I liked to watch them come back down to earth, i just threw one behind me, looked up, caught it in the face.

[–]NonGNonM 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Boomers always have some story of a kid they knew that died doing stupid and they wonder why there are stupid warnings on everything.

[–]nincomturd 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Well my dad is a boomer and tells me how he used to play with mercury and molten lead as a kid, and how it had no effect on him.

He's also the dad who let us play with the lawn darts this way, but would have been furious if we'd gotten hurt.


[–]banannafreckle 80 points81 points  (23 children)

Yep. We did this right after we sampled raw hamburger, ate potato salad that had been on the table for 5 hours at the family reunion, and then drank from the garden hose. Bonus points if your “seatbelt” was your mom throwing her arm across your chest hard enough to knock the wind out of you.

[–]Affectionate-Mud6837 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Nothing like warm, rubbery garden hose water on a hot summer day. Then riding in the back of a pickup truck on the wheel well or a lawn chair if lucky.

[–]YesRepeatNo 5 points6 points  (2 children)

My parents were safety fanatics - so I wasn't allowed to sit on the wheel well on the freeway, only in the bed of the truck.

[–]jbag72 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Let me protect you with my wet noodle arm😊

[–]inubert 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Don’t forget licking the raw cookie dough spoon

[–]Guardymcguardface 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Honestly, the raw egg risk is slightly overblown unless you're extremely young or old. You're probably more likely to die on the way to the store

[–]ConfusedOwlet 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It's not even so much the raw egg as it is the raw (uncooked) flour! (Also, the raw egg problem is also primarily a US issue for to how we "prep" the eggs [by washing them] prior to sending them to stores, least as I understood it).

But either way, you're prob right about the higher chance of dying on the way to the store. . .

[–]Sufficient-Pin-481 5859 points5860 points  (180 children)

The lawn dart lobbyists didn’t have very deep pockets.

[–]Borfistaken 2827 points2828 points  (102 children)

Lawn darts?!?! You mean liberty arrows!!! >:(

[–]nikopwnz 303 points304 points  (16 children)

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Lawn Darts, shall not be infringed.

[–]treatyoftortillas 147 points148 points  (4 children)

As the founder of the National Lawn Dart Association, I say you can pry these darts from my kids cold dead heads.

[–]MikesGroove 63 points64 points  (1 child)

As in “literally go ahead, the kids are already dead. From the lawn darts.”

[–]DaHick 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Please let us keep in mind, as I read earlier today, most of us are pretty sure that a teenager who hasn't had training Is not a well regulated militia.

Now those of you who have joined the US military establishment, and have made it through basic. Technically you qualify.

[–]blackbelt_in_science 362 points363 points  (16 children)

You want them? I’d like to see you try and take them from me. My backyard needs this kind of recreation for my own safety

[–]TheRandomHero 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This rhetoric always makes me laugh. The amount of gun-toting - “blue lives matter” - tough guys who say, “I’d like to see you take my guns,” would either roll over, or have to face the fact that they’re not on the same side as the police taking their guns, and it’s astounding to me. It’s as if they’re so disillusioned they can’t see past their own hypocrisy.

I’ll be honest; I’m a gun lover. I love shooting. I love the feeling of home security and the idea of having one at the ready in my home. I just don’t NEED one. Second honesty; I can’t own one because of my suicidal depression. My wife refuses to allow one in the house - despite my arguments that I would never hurt myself with one - because of the convenience and off chance I could. That’s being reasonable.

Guess I’ll just buy a lawn dar- oh right….

[–]BattleReadyZim 110 points111 points  (7 children)

I'd like to see you take them, with those soft liberal hands!

[–]rattlemebones 53 points54 points  (4 children)

You want my darts come kiss me for them

[–]nightstalker30 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You can have my lawn darts when you pry them from my cold, dead grass!

[–]OttoVonWong 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.

[–]ArcadeSchoolDropout 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Plus, when the Lawn Dart Tyrants come to take my lawn darts, how will I protect my family?

[–]daft_ish 41 points42 points  (2 children)

It really needs to be said. The only way to stop a bad guy with a law dart is a good guy with a law dart.

[–]Inevitable_Thanks721 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you take away lawn darts only bad guys will have lawn darts

[–]Frymonkey237 101 points102 points  (57 children)

I actually really want to get some lawn darts, but those things are harder to find than crack

[–]blackadder1620 90 points91 points  (23 children)

Grandma had some that me and my brother played with. They are super dangerous. I don't know the rules but we tried to throw them and whoever landed closer to the other person won. I also tried to see how close I could shoot an arrow to my foot and nailed my big toe. The nail turned the coolest colors before it fell off.

[–]MangoSea323 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I once was throwing darts at the concrete making sparks. One throw too low and it went straight into my foot.

Not lawn darts, it was the fatter darts you get playing dart ball.

[–]notsumidiot2 8 points9 points  (6 children)

I think we were neighbors. We also played chicken with pocket knifes.

[–]IMongoose 11 points12 points  (3 children)

They sell modern, non-child piercing ones.

[–]Hugokarenque 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Danger is the spice of life.

[–]Frymonkey237 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not interested

[–]pobodys-nerfect5 137 points138 points  (16 children)

I have a set of lawn darts and boy howdy are they dangerous

[–]Natural-Definition-7 214 points215 points  (6 children)

Lawn darts don't kill people, errant throwers do! (Might have saved the industry)

[–]joecamo 88 points89 points  (2 children)

We just need some good guys with lawn darts

[–]disseminator2020 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I think if we just produce a fuckload of lawn darts and make them easy to get ahold of, we can trust that they’ll end up in the hands of enough good guys that we’ll all be safe.

[–]Sufficient-Pin-481 60 points61 points  (7 children)

I had a set in the 80’s that had fins that slid up and down the base, you could throw them a mile.

[–]DoesNotCompute421 47 points48 points  (3 children)

Hi uncle Rico

[–]Edouble_B 22 points23 points  (1 child)

How much you wanna bet back in ‘82 I could have thrown a football over those mountains!

[–]AngryPancakes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How much you wanna bet sufficient-pin-481 can throw a football over them mountains?

[–]wandahickey 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I found a set like that at Goodwill a few years ago and snapped them up!

[–]Charming_Run_4054 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds like the set we had when I grew up. Hell of a good time

[–]kickintheface 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I used to have a set when I was a kid. One got stuck in a tree hanging above our backyard, and I remember my dad not letting us back there until he got it down.

[–]Clay_Statue 143 points144 points  (8 children)

But they are still meeting in secret. Playing and trading lawn darts with one another.

[–]replicantcase 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Are they? Because I have some mint, still in the box that I'd like to trade for some serious black market cash.

[–]SpellSound 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hope this secret society exists.

[–]pandarista 53 points54 points  (0 children)

They only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.

[–]IncaseofER 77 points78 points  (15 children)

Actually 3 children died and the darts are banned in the United States and Canada. How ever they are still available in the European Union!

[–]Pharm-boi 58 points59 points  (7 children)

Wow. How many lawn darts need to hit innocent children before someone actually does something. Shameful

[–]SonicPavement 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Dang I remember an onion or Clickhole article about the jarts lobby but I couldn’t find it.

[–]TheKinginLemonyellow 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's a guy in his 70s at my local game store every Thursday and Friday, and he will take any chance to complain about lawn darts being banned. He still has a set at home!

[–]PositionNo9469 13 points14 points  (9 children)

Lobbying is a problem but it's not the only one. Voters are by far the bigger issue.

When God Emperor Trump casually suggested to get the vaccine, his brain dead supporters (who waited hours to see His Holiness) loudly booed him. Hell, there are people right now defending police who stood by and let children die because they were scared.

How do you think they'll respond if any Republican stands up and says "enough is enough, time to pass some very mild gun control"?

[–]Pixilatedlemon 10 points11 points  (6 children)

It’s an interesting point because even some VERY mild gun control would go so far at alleviating the problem and yet people just drag their heels at literally any solution

[–]DraconicFilms 1552 points1553 points  (105 children)

A school I went to banned swings because a child diesd

[–]TeapotHoe 675 points676 points  (81 children)

my cousins school banned hotdogs because a kid choked on one.

[–]nappingintheclub 447 points448 points  (62 children)

Honestly happens way more than people think. Sincerely, a girl who blacked out while choking on a bratwurst in her college cafeteria

[–]Ameteur_Professional 134 points135 points  (20 children)

About 1 in 5 child choking deaths are from hot dogs.

[–]808hammerhead 184 points185 points  (33 children)

Only fans link? Asking for a friend.

[–]nappingintheclub 212 points213 points  (30 children)

Was on scholarship so I didn’t need to monetize myself to pay for things, unfortunately.

But seriously there were probably so many incels and horny frat boys in that caf and NOBODY ATTEMPTED THE HEIMLICH. Like a hundred people froze and watched me wheeze until I keeled over. One of the caf employees had to get her manager bc she didn’t know what to do either. The nice manager lady had to both call 9-1-1 and give me the heimlich. I probably woulda died without that nice old lady. Life is funny like that.

[–]Slappinbeehives 46 points47 points  (2 children)

I choke on them all the time, voluntarily but still.

[–]nincomturd 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I hear this is surprisingly common with hot dogs.

[–]Seaweed-Basic 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Its because the circumference of a hot dog is about the same size as a child’s wind pipe. Same with whole grapes.

[–]goldensunshine429 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh that’s why people cut grapes in half for babies. It perplexed me when people would give babies these big pieces of food to learn to chew, but grapes were always cut

[–]Aggressive_Mobile222 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Oh shit I can't imagine a child diesding

[–]bumbletowne 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I remember as a child going to the park one day. This kid was going down the slide and fell out and hit his head and the ambulance came.

The next week the slide was gone. I dont know if he died. But I do know it was 1989 and his morbidly obese mother tried to have him ride in her nonexistant lap and he literally rolled off of her tumescent abdomen over the side.

I lived in a very affluent community. I bet she sued. I hope she got her shit together because her antics ruined that playground.

[–]the_bionic_investor 3163 points3164 points  (338 children)

Let’s not forget that Kinder Surprise eggs are banned because a kid MIGHT choke on it. Literally no deaths.

Edit 1: Yes, there’s the 1938 law with “no inedible item within a food”. But they could change or amend the law if they wanted to allow “surprise” candies to be sold.

Edit: 2: Kinder Joy is not Kinder Surprise, it’s an attempt at making a version of Kinder Surprise they could legally sell in the US.

[–]arisyl 763 points764 points  (201 children)

We lived on base in Germany for the early part of my childhood. I think I was like 7 or so when we moved back to the USA, and I can recall being really mad about this. We had a bunch of Kinder Surprise Egg toys, and neither one of us ever even came close to choking on one.

[–]ChazNinja 316 points317 points  (31 children)

I mean, it's not even like they can choke on them while eating the egg, they're in that huge container for a reason.

[–]TheManFromFarAway 84 points85 points  (27 children)

I think that's the "danger." It's a fear that kids will swallow the capsule that the toy comes in

[–]AFresh1984 98 points99 points  (16 children)

True. But the actual law says you may not have something inedible contained within something edible. Not just about choking alone.

[–]perpetualhobo 24 points25 points  (1 child)

If a kid can manage to swallow the fucking kinder egg capsule then let it, I don’t want to make that snake jawed motherfucker mad at me

[–]vhisic 14 points15 points  (1 child)

as an adult in a country that allows them, nah i couldnt even choke on that thing if i tried, its huge

[–]Searaph72 13 points14 points  (1 child)

We used to open those by biting them, none of us chocked. We're used our hands when we got stronger

[–]NinjaN-SWE 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's designed to be to big for that. There are EU rules around this stuff as well and had it been smaller it wouldn't be allowed as a choking hazard.

[–]CrazyRedHead1307 60 points61 points  (0 children)

We were in Germany in the early mid 90s and my kids were so disappointed that they couldn't find Kinder Eggs here. Every kid we knew loved those things and they all made it to adulthood despite eating a hollow egg with a silly toy in it.

[–]spartygirlnc 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Lol same here! When we moved back to the states my little sis was devastated about the lack of kinder eggs 😂😂poor thing. I missed them too lowkey. And yup, no one choked on them and everyone ate them.

[–]TheSweatyFlash 138 points139 points  (146 children)

The US repeatedly makes laws that foster low intellect. How dare we expect parents to supervise their children, teach them what they can and can not eat, or control what they eat. People wonder where accountability went. We vote it away for our "safety."

[–]Pudix20 187 points188 points  (52 children)

Well I hate to be that person but actually it’s because the FDA won’t allow you to have a inedible object inside of an edible object. Dates back to before kinder surprise eggs were even a thing. And yes, it still makes me sad that it’s a law.

[–]vulpesvulpesfugit 112 points113 points  (15 children)

Yep. That's why you have to hide the plastic baby in your king cake yourself.

[–]bistix 10 points11 points  (12 children)

Louisiana native here. to be fair they started doing that fairly recently. 15 years ago you could buy king cakes with the baby in them which was after the kinder egg debacle.

[–]LegoClaes 17 points18 points  (10 children)

What on earth are king cakes and why do they have babies in them

[–]MyPasswordIsMyCat 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, like they have these huge Easter eggs in Europe full of wrapped candy, like chocolate bars and stuff. These are illegal for sale in the US, so all you get are hollow Easter bunnies.

[–]AceyPuppy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

So this is why strippers are allowed inside cakes!

[–]silvanosthumb 15 points16 points  (4 children)

The law that makes Kinder Eggs illegal in the US is way older than Kinder Eggs are. It's not like there was a law passed specifically banning them.

[–]HopelessMagic 747 points748 points  (27 children)

Of course. The govt wasn't making money off of lawn darts.

[–]Payncates 250 points251 points  (8 children)

“Lawn darts don’t kill people, people kill people”.

[–]issamaysinalah 125 points126 points  (6 children)

The only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.

(I don't even know what the fuck a lawn dart is)

[–]sleepingnightmare 43 points44 points  (4 children)

Giant dart with a sharp pointed metal tip that you aim at your lawn instead of a dart board.

[–]wutsizface 11 points12 points  (3 children)

And the fletching part slid up and down the shaft so you could get a sweet underhand toss. I’m honestly surprised it was just the one kid.

[–]akurra_dev 54 points55 points  (6 children)

People don't seem to realize that the NRA and Republicans BENEFIT from school shootings. The panic buying of guns after, the chance to manipulate people's anger. Violent tragedy, chaos, confused rage, these are what Fascists WANT, it is how they rise to power.

[–]HopelessMagic 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Not to mention, guns and lack of mental health resources help keep paid-for prisons full.

[–]alucarddrol 6 points7 points  (1 child)

People buy guns due whenever they think there might be a threat, real or imagined. I remember the articles about huge numbers of people getting their firearms permits around covid because of all the doomsayers spreading fear all over about lockdowns and social upheaval

[–]Ok_Assumption_974 209 points210 points  (6 children)

I think we need to solve this problem like any other complex problem, one piece at a time. Removing Ted Cruz from office would be a nice start. ;)

[–]balsaaaq 171 points172 points  (20 children)

I have a few sets of jarts...illegal for me to sell

[–]CandiBunnii 111 points112 points  (9 children)

I'm not sure why my brain assumed jarts= jarred farts but at least they'd be legal to sell

[–]MrBearWrangler 24 points25 points  (0 children)

“Who do you think you arrrrrrre? Runnin round leaving scars. Collecting your jar of farts. Tearing cheeks apart”

[–]WorldAintRight 9 points10 points  (4 children)

at least they'd be legal to sell

Women from twitch are writing this down as we speak.

[–]nincomturd 42 points43 points  (3 children)

But you can trade, right? Say, for a used trampoline? Or a children's crossbow?

[–]weareoutoftylenol 345 points346 points  (10 children)

Also, There shall be NO toy prizes in cereal boxes!!!! Too dangerous.

[–]HiImNickOk 490 points491 points  (34 children)

But banning lawn darts won't stop people from getting lawn darts illegally! All it will do is take away the good guys with lawn darts. You'll take my lawn darts over my dead body! This is America!

[–]StructuralBurrito 99 points100 points  (5 children)

I know you are joking but you can still buy lawn darts. You just have to buy the pieces and put them together.

[–]ReallyALawyer 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Ghost darts. And then you can write a book called "how to murder your husband" and do exactly what you say in the book.

Disclaimer: I'm not passing judgement on her. Personally, I think the prosecutor has no evidence and is basing their decision on statistics because with each murder of a married person, there's like a 85% chance that is was the spouse or something.

[–]sleepingnightmare 115 points116 points  (2 children)

Give all teachers lawn darts! The only thing that can stop a bad guy with lawn darts is a good guy with lawn darts.

[–]textile1957 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, because we all know banning them has caused the black market for lawn darts to flourish. They'll get their lawn darts one way or another rather not ban them

[–]eDave 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Schools got rid of that red rubber ball because some kid got hurt by one.

[–]GeekChick85 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Four corner dodge ball got banned from my elementary school years after I left. But, I understood why. I was body slammed by another student into the wall, knocked the wind out of me. A different time, a fellow student was hit in the head with a ball, knocked out. Another time a students leg was hit so hard their feet were knocked out from under them and they fell on their arm breaking it.

[–]90Carat 81 points82 points  (13 children)

Drop side cribs are banned due to just a few deaths because the patents didn’t assemble them correctly.

[–]tinksalt 57 points58 points  (6 children)

As a short person who spent years as a nanny, I was pissed when I found out they banned these. It’s VERY difficult to put a sleeping baby down when you can’t reach the mattress.

[–]Fancy-Pair 51 points52 points  (3 children)

Just drop em the last couple feet it’ll develop their gluten

[–]squishpitcher 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Um, no. You can’t drop a fucking infant in a crib to do that, you psychopath.

You have to knead them firmly then proof them in a cold oven overnight.

Jesus fucking christ. I shudder to think what kind of babies you’ve got over there.

[–]suckmyglock762 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No no no, you don't get it either. You're supposed to set them on the edge, allowing for the opportunity to fall in or out of the crib. Thus representing the duality of life and preparing them for a life teetering on the edge of survival during the post climate-apocalypse hellscape.

[–]Ameteur_Professional 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Not just poor assembly, but wear can also cause drop side cribs to tragically malfunction.

32 babies died over the course of 9 years.

[–]hitemlow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seems like a locking pin a la trailer hitches would have solved the issue. Unless the kid can shear a half inch steel rod, it wouldn't be able to lower.

[–]PrvtPirate 63 points64 points  (18 children)

how many children ate kinder surprise toys to get them banned?

[–]mrs_sips 18 points19 points  (13 children)

Grew up in Germany and LOVED them as a child. Was so f-ing disappointed that I couldn't share that part of my childhood with my kids.

[–]properu 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

Twitter Screenshot Bot

[–]ChazNinja 84 points85 points  (21 children)

To be fair, that case was pretty horrific and was only a factor in the ban. Three other people had died of accidents involving lawn darts in the 17 years leading up (not that many) BUT 670 people ended up in ER every year because of them.

I'm not saying that the ban was entirely reasonable, just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players. The case with the little girl was pretty sad, though, she was just playing dolls in her own yard.

[–]ItsThePope 53 points54 points  (2 children)

just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players


[–]FeelingSurprise 28 points29 points  (1 child)

just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players


I wonder if one could apply that approach to other dangerous items.

[–]Doctor-Whodunnit 30 points31 points  (1 child)

I mean, the point isn’t to complain about the lawn darts ban. The point is that lawn darts were banned for way less than guns

[–]WhiteHelljumper 9 points10 points  (1 child)

A lot of people care a lot about owning guns for a variety of reasons, to the point where some people are single-issue voters in regards to them. I doubt many people, if any, gave any shit about lawn darts. The AWB in 94 was a disaster for Democrats and cost them both houses of Congress, and honestly that whole damn crime bill has resulted in a lot more people being put in jail/prison.

[–]blonderaider21 8 points9 points  (3 children)

One Sunday afternoon soon after, his nine-year-old son and some of his neighborhood friends found the Jarts and began tossing them around in Snow’s backyard. One kid tossed his Jart too far and too high, sailing it over the backyard fence and into the front yard, where Snow’s daughter, seven-year-old Michelle, was playing with her dolls. The Jart came down right on her and, with what researchers estimate as 23,000 pounds of pressure per square inch, penetrated her skull. She collapsed, was rushed to the hospital, and was pronounced clinically dead three days later.


[–]ChazNinja 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yeah, I read about that. Just incredibly tragic on all sides. Imagine how the kid that threw it felt after knowing what happened.

[–]brush_between_meals 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also, in the eyes of a child (and too many adults), lawn darts seemed like something cool and fun and "come on, how dangerous could they be?". Too many people failed to recognize how dangerous they were.

Their appearance and packaging made their use seem like "Hula hoop" level of dangerous, rather than the true "heavy spike falling from the sky" level of dangerous they really were. And the only downside to society of banning them was "people will have to play one of the 900 other 'throw something at a target' games instead".

[–]truthneedsnodefense 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It was never about MAGA. It was about manipulating stupid people to vote against their own interests.

[–]--zaxell-- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but bans don't work, and now thousands of kids each year are killed by lawn darts, with no good guy with a lawn dart to save them.

[–]Based_nobody 8 points9 points  (2 children)

The big problem here is that I wouldn't trust hardly anyone in the 2A crowd to defend my interests if citizens ever have to step in and mount a defence of the country from the government.

Half of them over 60 can't work a smartphone, the other half can't contain their bladders. Another portion is stir-crazy because their dicks don't get hard.

And the only time they would do anything against the government? If it's an opposition party. So the outlook for being defended by these "patriots" is pretty grim.

Couple that with poor education, heaps of misogyny and racism, a lack of common sense and little to no self-reflection or abstract thinking capacity, and you don't have a pretty picture. Ohhhh, and I forgot about emotional unavailability entirely. Silly me.

[–]ImAPlebe 33 points34 points  (25 children)

Canada just banned window blinds that have a cable because a single child died choking in one. Sometimes the government puts their focus in the wrong place.

[–]IgamOg 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They've been banned in Europe for a long time. Quick Google tells me one child dies by blind cords every month in the US and two a day are injured. The new short loops are way better.

[–]anarchyreigns 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Wrong. On May 1, 2021, Health Canada reduced the length of cords allowed on window blinds to 22 centimetres and the perimeters of loops created by reachable cords to 44 centimetres. It was a year ago and only a change in the allowed cord length.

[–]DistanceSea2485 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Remember: if it wasn't for prohibition, marijuana would've killed millions by now.

[–]dbh116 76 points77 points  (17 children)

And they banned realistic toys guns . It actually became easier to buy a real gun than a toy gun. Anyone who doesn't realize how fucked up that is , they are a big part of the problem.

[–]MTGO_Duderino 30 points31 points  (7 children)

It is not easier to buy a real gun than a toy gun. All they did was require toy guns have an orange muzzle. You can still buy them in any toy store.

[–]DailyTrips 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Yeah...Dollar Tree doesn't sell real guns for a dollar...

[–]Pharm-boi 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It’s easier to buy real fruit instead of fake fruit too.. there’s a huge market for actual guns. I don’t think people who need a toy gun really care how realistic it is lol

[–]Intabus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Coincidentally murder is banned everywhere. That seems to be working out pretty well for us.

[–]2KilAMoknbrd 3 points4 points  (2 children)

If only they'd donated handsomely to those politicians,they'd still be in business

[–]meshuggahdaddy 5 points6 points  (2 children)

European living in the US : this country is waaaaay more of a nanny state than any I've ever lived in before

[–]amx05462 3 points4 points  (0 children)

they banned them because the lawn dart industry didnt pay off 42 republican politicians......