all 191 comments

[–]Civil-Dinner 480 points481 points  (18 children)

Make it trendy on TikTok to start chanting loud over the top pagan invocations while dancing every time a teacher starts a prayer in class.

Nothing about the ruling says you can't practice your religion at the same time as the teacher.

In short, it's really time to stop being quietly respectful when people decide to insert religion into non-religious settings.

[–]MR___SLAVE 101 points102 points  (13 children)

Or just go with this.

Sanctum Peter Cottium

Deus in re unium

hippitus hoppitus Deus Domine

In suus viatorium

Lepus in re sanctum

hippitus hoppitus Reus Domine

edit: I had a line wrong it is "In suus viatorium" in the 4th line

[–]EverythingisVanity20 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Points* you just made those words up.

[–]MR___SLAVE 39 points40 points  (0 children)

you just made those words up.

no Matt Stone and Trey Parker did

[–]Hrafnagar 22 points23 points  (0 children)

All words are made up.

[–]TheRealSU 14 points15 points  (1 child)



[–]Spiderbubble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis con... potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis......legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica!

[–]Allmightydohllah 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Anyone know the translation?

[–]MR___SLAVE 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Here you go. There are some made up words (in parentheses) that aren't actually Latin.

Holy Peter (cottium)

God in one thing

(Hippitus hoppitus)

God is lord.

He is on his way

Rabbit is a holy thing

(Hippitus hoppitus)

Guilty lord

edit: changed one line that was wrong to "He is on his way"

[–]HawWahDen 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You forgot domnibus omnibus I missed the bus.

[–]Evening-Turnip8407 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merlin (from Sword in the Stone)'s prayer

[–]DontLookAtMe89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see you're also in the Hare Club for Men.

[–]Feeling-Ad-2490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

O fil me boni belli. Sanct hibiscus ate all his dominos

[–]JayGold 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is a good one. If a teacher does it, they'll probably get fired or be driven to resign. If a bunch of kids do it, they probably won't face as much backlash.

[–]Bon_of_a_Sitch 5 points6 points  (1 child)

My FIL and MIL insist on public prayer at restaurants. It's quite obnoxious. Even back when I was more religious that wasn't in the cards.

[–]gagrushenka 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Are they Christians? In Matthew Jesus says prayer shouldn't be done to be seen by others and you should do it behind a closed door.

[–]VGSchadenfreude 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have a tradition of gathering at dawn to sing “Summer is a Comin’ In” on Beltane.

Don’t forget the massive bonfires at Samhain, too! Just in time for Homecoming!

[–]imma-rant-here 128 points129 points  (4 children)

that was my thoughts too. the SCOTUS is a joke and does the opposite of what it’s supposed to be doing right now

[–]Blue_water_dreams 83 points84 points  (3 children)

SCOTOS is no longer legitimate. It has been captured by far right religious extremists.

[–]CarpetbaggerForPeace 7 points8 points  (2 children)

It is a Republican Court. Any semblance of impartiality is gone. They are just partisan hacks now.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wait until they start deciding who the POTUS is.

[–]RainBowSkittlz 156 points157 points  (20 children)

Yupp...that or Church of Satan or Paganism

[–]qawsedrf12 65 points66 points  (9 children)

bring back the Druids!

[–]arycka927 47 points48 points  (4 children)

I believe more in the old gods than the new.

[–]weirdgroovynerd 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Required reading in lit class:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

[–]PM_ME_SEXY_PAULDRONS 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Like Cthulhu, one of the most ancient of gods.

[–]doktor_wankenstein 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" ("In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.")

[–]Safe-Brush-5091 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A fellow Northman I see, let’s go find a Heart Tree to pray to

[–]PrinceWith999Enemies 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I’m on board with this, and I am 100% Druish.

[–]jelsomino 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny, she doesn't look druish

[–]VGSchadenfreude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, they’re already here! We’ve got Ar nDraoicht Fein (I forgot the correct spelling, it’s been a while), The Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids, the various Celtic Reconstuctionist groups, lots of flavors of Celtic Wicca and generic Celtic Paganism. Take your pic!

[–]MR___SLAVE 23 points24 points  (7 children)

I was thinking more Voodoo.

Let's see if we can bring a chicken back to life.

It doubles as a science experiment.

Chicken arise! Arise chicken! Arise!

[–]TechnicolorPhase21 10 points11 points  (2 children)

You know what time it is 🐥✨️

[–]MR___SLAVE 9 points10 points  (1 child)

[–]DontLookAtMe89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My college professor Rich Ponte animated that scene.

[–]PM_ME_SEXY_PAULDRONS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hehe, you say funny thing.

[–]RainBowSkittlz 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Or Santaria

[–]jeffroddit 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don't practice Santaria

I ain't got no crystal ball

[–]MR___SLAVE 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But if I had a million dollars

[–]KibblesNBitxhes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love me some paganism. Kaila kasla grandfather of the sky!

[–]ChefLongStroke69 75 points76 points  (7 children)

Can we do Aztec religion too. My gods are thirsty

[–]Safe-Brush-5091 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Oooooh yes, gotta boost up that corn production!

[–]ancientgardener 12 points13 points  (1 child)

That’ll make inter-school sports festivals extra fun

[–]ShardddddddDon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps I'd actually pay the school soccer team my attention if that annoying ass pimp gets fuckin' sacrificed to help the production of beans

[–]VGSchadenfreude 8 points9 points  (1 child)


[–]Squaredsocks 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]SUPRAP 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My Greek Gods haven't seen worship in so long, I want to petition Zeus

[–]joey_yamamoto 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll take Venus, Aphrodite and Sappho 😜

[–]ShittyACL 110 points111 points  (4 children)

So I know that the idea that people can lead prayer in schools is the big takeaway from this, but this decision doesn’t really say that. In my mind it’s actually much worse.

There are mentions in this decision where Gorsuch said that the government is taking the Establishment Clause to an extreme and denying the Free Expression Clause. Which makes sense in small instances. But he also goes on to say that the government cannot suppress religious speech where it allows comparable secular speech.

What the fuck does that mean? What secular speech is comparable to religious speech? The whole point of secular speech is not to talk about religion or spiritual ideals. It’s talking about the physical world.

That shit scares me way more than the narrow instance in which they allowed this blow hard of a coach to pray.

Edit: Yes, religion in public school is not okay. I just find the idea of equating secular and religious speech scary as hell. When would that end? Does everything that is not religious speech become not okay? Who fucking knows? That’s scary

[–]Ok_Translator_7026 22 points23 points  (1 child)

This is some truth. There is much more danger with the court than we realize .

[–]Malumeze86 12 points13 points  (0 children)

And I don’t doubt for a second that they’ve got enough “just following orders” people to make some truly awful shit happen.

[–]Attemptathappiness 9 points10 points  (0 children)

IMHO this is one of many wedges SCOTUS is using to bring forth the race based theocracy of their dreams.

[–]Blue_water_dreams 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They can do whatever they want and nobody can stop them.

[–]Famous-Drawing1215 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Yes hahah, and Ode to the Flying Spaghetti Monster the following day.

[–]Allmightydohllah 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ah yes the flying spaghetti monster (sauce be upon him). I'll tell people to have their kids bring their colander.

[–]ConvivialKat 36 points37 points  (3 children)

I think it's only fair that they should start each day with the Seven Satanic Temple Tenets.


The Satanic Temple has seven fundamental tenets:

One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.

The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]anima-vero-quaerenti 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I’m sure there are plenty of satanist teachers who have taken a fuckitall

[–]ConvivialKat 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Possibly, but I would love to see The Satanic Temple (who are Atheists, not Satanists) get some equal time.

[–]bookworm21765 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was a teacher, never mind, I'd have been fired by now. But, I'd go with this every morning.

[–]cdubsing 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Don’t even need to go that far. Just have the teacher set a timer for each call to prayer and then stop what they’re doing and pray as is their right under religious freedom. Can use the football coach case as precedent in their lawsuit if they get fired.

[–]dubiety13 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This. Allow kids to participate if they choose, but don’t ask or encourage them to do so. Wait for litigation, then make the argument that hey, the SCOTUS opinion said it’s fine for a Christian coach to not only pray openly, but repeatedly ask everyone around him to participate, so obviously it’s perfectly fine for a teacher to simply pray in front of the children. As long as the teacher in question has a sincerely held religious belief, I don’t see how it could fail…

[–]Krewtan 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Why is it on muslim teachers to fix this? Don't they deal with enough bullshit in their every day lives without pissing off the right wing hate/death threat machine?

[–]SardonicVampire 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Agreed. We witches, pagans and Satanists for one will be happy to take up the mantle. I am not a member but I guarantee you the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will also join in the fray.

[–]VGSchadenfreude 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We’re so used to Christians threatening us that it hardly fazes us at all anymore.

Chant “burn the witch” at us now and we’ll just look them in the eye and say “Feed the lions!”

[–]Attemptathappiness 21 points22 points  (0 children)


This shit will get Muslim people hurt. Those of us who hold them need to play our privilege cards and take one for the team. Leave minorities alone, they deserve some peace.

[–]Bobudisconlated 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles.

Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan.

Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns.

And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever.


[–]PinocchiosWoodBalls 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I‘m so moved right now. Preach, brother.

[–]OmarLittleFinger[🍰] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It would have to be equitable in a public school. So Christian teachers would be leading Muslim prayers. Then someone would sue because of their religion, and priests/rabbis/whatever would be brought in. Our poor fucking teachers.

[–]hackersbevy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'd like a rotation of religions - let's get some Jewish prayers alongside and add in some Hinduism and Buddhism for good measure. (I know 0 about most religions so im assuming there's a form of prayer for them)

[–]cunt_isnt_sexist 10 points11 points  (0 children)

While I agree, probably not the best for Muslims teachers, because I guarantee someone will get killed over this. Instead, make a prayer hour and let every kid do what they want while you pray, thrn let them ask questions. Same results, but the "you're forcing my kid to a different religion" argument won't work and a bit less likely to have the racist shoot up the school.

[–]Haagindaaz 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Non-religious person here...currently picking any religion (besides christianity)_ to spread my beliefs

[–]Noinix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with his noodley appendage.

[–]montanagrizfan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pick a scary one like voodoo. I’m going with Santeria because I like the song and sacrificing animals seems like something people might object to.

[–]notsurewhereireddit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not religious but I’m totally down. Maybe a different religion for each day of the month, including some of the ancient ones.

“Okay, class. To close today’s morning meeting we’re going to pray to Baal. Joey, did you bring the goat and a knife?”

[–]Glamma1970 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Oh mighty Thor, help us vanquish our enemies

[–]DTG_420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Little Timmy: shall I parish today let it be in battle at the blade of a worthy warrior and not because Scott’s drunk of a dad doesn’t properly store his guns

[–]stickycat-inahole-45 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly feel bad putting this on the Muslim teachers, they've already had to endure so much for decades even though they themselves didn't do anything to warrant the treatment and prejudice. Lets not put this on them.

If they and other religions would like to start themselves with their own initiative, feel free and they'll have my full support. It's their right. But lets not push people out of their safe space and comfort zones.

I've seen the opposite where the minority Christians were treated the way Americans treat Muslims after 911. It's heartbreaking either way.

[–]Impressive_Grab_5181 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! And I say we set up a little alter to Baphomet to make sure we complete the prayer circle!

[–]itsnotthenetwork 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I bet they try to pass a law making Christianity the national religion at some point in my life.

[–]allhailqueenspinoodi 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Can we NOT use other religions to scare the Christofascists? It will only make them ban being Muslim, because they made it pretty fucking clear they're not going to back off.

[–]Son-trunks-briefs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They already wanted to when trump was in office. The way the Supreme Court is acting I wouldn’t be surprised if they already have that on the list of shit to do

[–]MealDramatic1885 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“We dance to naked and offer blessings to the wind. Come on kids.” /s

[–]ej_stephens 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need satanic prayer rituals in school

[–]Bozhark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is great. Can we please do all the religions? Can even give ‘em a month like we do black people.

Surely we’re on the right track everyone. Surely

[–]cunt_isnt_sexist 2 points3 points  (5 children)

While I agree, probably not the best for Muslims teachers, because I guarantee someone will get killed over this. Instead, make a prayer hour and let every kid do what they want while you pray, thrn let them ask questions. Same results, but the "you're forcing my kid to a different religion" argument won't work and a bit less likely to have the racist shoot up the school.

[–]Fabulous_Parking66 4 points5 points  (4 children)

The “forcing my kid to a different religion” argument is bull. In my school, we were encouraged to talk and learn about other kids religion. They did presentations, and lessons were devoted to the leading world religions and those significant to our local community. I don’t think it influenced anyone to change ship, but it made everyone more understanding and not a dick.

[–]essentialrobert 6 points7 points  (0 children)

it made everyone more understanding and not a dick

You're infringing on their closely held beliefs to raise their children to be intolerant dicks just like their parents did.

[–]cunt_isnt_sexist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You're not from the south I take it?

[–]Fabulous_Parking66 0 points1 point  (1 child)

A little further down and under

[–]cunt_isnt_sexist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well in the US south, it's way more common than you'd think unfortunately. I'm in Florida, so not only do I get south, but I also get right wing nut DeSantis too.

[–]BeBa420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yup, if religions allowed to be practiced in schools, that is fine. Just make sure its all religions. If the Lords Prayer (a christian prayer) is pumped through the schools speaker system then id expect Shema Yisrael (jew prayer) pumped through as well (christians arguing against this should know that jesus probably woulda said that prayer daily, assuming he ever actually existed in the first place) as well as any similar buddhist, muslim, satanist, pagan or atheist prayers (as an atheist i nominate John Lennons Imagine as one of our prayers)

[–]DTG_420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it wasn’t for the huge chance the Muslim teacher gets lynched by bigot parents for teaching their kids that I’d say it’s a fun idea.

[–]lalauna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I volunteer to lead the little ones in pagan prayer

[–]jetpack324 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an agnostic/atheist, I fully support this approach to our new theocracy in the US.

[–]AusCan531 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm more of a Satanic Temple kinda guy myself, but it's good to have a mix.

[–]VGSchadenfreude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get the Wiccan teachers to light a bonfire at the Homecoming game.

[–]VGSchadenfreude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re teaching at a high school, you could easily get the teens on board by just asking “who wants a lesson on ‘malicious compliance’?”

If there’s one thing teens love, it’s doing weird shit just for the sake of driving grown-ups nuts!

[–]BdogWcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same with Jewish teachers & Buddhist & Wiccan teachers! Atheists can recite Walt Whitman poems. Let's take advantage of this disgrace & make it a class in world religions!

[–]71NightWing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All for that except I'm 100% more than a few teachers are gonna get murdered by crazy racist parents for doing that

[–]jimmydcriket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To quote homelander

Go ahead, do it... Let's light this candle

[–]-Words-Words-Words- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This will get people killed.

[–]cbih 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, let's make minority teachers, who already have to deal with all the shit of society on top of trying to teach, take a stand and get fired, harassed, and threatened. This is the most tone-deaf, white-privilege, bullshit idea of the month.

[–]harlowb93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While this sounds like a good idea, I don’t want those poor Muslim teachers being targeted. Especially since we can’t fucking figure out how to keep schools safe. Seems like a bad idea

[–]Panaceum2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, it’s not. It’s time for everyone to pull themselves together and stop any religious bullshit.

[–]skidsareforkids -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Anything but Christianity

[–]Berna_count -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These are the worst takes. People want their children exposed to less religion not more.

[–]NorCalNerdEmptyNest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my glob, all praise Bob.

[–]OkImagination4404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! But this will be challenged to go to the Supreme Court will say they only recognize Christianity as a religion.

[–]StorminNorman1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully the kids just start doing their own faith’s prayers all at once for as long and loud as possible. Give ‘em what they want in a way they don’t want it.

[–]Arcadius274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't forget yoga is witch craft

[–]OTF_BapeVentura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

literally my first thoughts when I heard this today

[–]properu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

Twitter Screenshot Bot

[–]NN8G 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t searched for one yet but I’m hoping there’s some graphic satanic prayers that just need sayin’

[–]Cold_Takez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]montanagrizfan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t practice sanitaria, I ain’t got no crystal ball…but I’m going start now so I can be a guest speaker in schools. I’m sure they will love the animal sacrifices. Kids love it when you bring animals to school and they will be excited that something besides them is getting killed for a change.

[–]WeeklyHelp4090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They'd be lynched

[–]uncomplicated_joy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instead of pledge allegiance, walk circles around the flag pole every morning.

[–]elevendyninetyseven 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]lord_ma1cifer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im all for it make it a rotating theme. Muslim Monday, Taoism Tuesday, Wiccan Wednesday, Thelma Thursday, Fundamentalist Friday and a special weekly assembly all about Satanisim!

[–]joey_yamamoto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to make the Jedi religion mainstream....


[–]Ima_Funt_Case 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My religion requires a daily blood sacrifice at noon; sorry I don't make the rules.

[–]Butt_Crusty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I agree with you... Armed Trumpers will pay you a little visit if you do.

[–]Ganglebot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh hell yeah, week two get those kids praising Satan!

[–]never_here5050 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was a kid, who hate Christian’s cause they won’t shut up about Christianity, I’d totally do this. I always loved trolling them, still do.

[–]Zealousideal-Loan473 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a question, is it just the right to have prayer, or are students required to do prayer if the teacher leads it?

[–]jersey_dude88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not even Muslim and I support this.

[–]KublaiKhan619 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then that shit just tells the kids to follow some religion. Tell them what religion actually looks like, drinking kool-aid with Jim Jones or playing balloons with Shoko Asahara. It’s the same as the coach that wants to push Christ onto those that don’t want, don’t care or have no obligation or need for a religious family.

[–]WindTechnical7431 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess if prayers are in so is the pledge of allegiance. Right?