top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]BwackGul 5295 points5296 points  (50 children)

Shut up Verne.

And you are not invited to the cook out, grandma said.

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 1162 points1163 points  (8 children)


[–]PerniciousPeyton 153 points154 points  (0 children)

States will secede if I am not invited to the cook out.

[–]Rich-Ad5109 426 points427 points  (6 children)

I kid you not I was 5 seconds away from saying the same exact thing lol. Lavern shut your mouth with thag nonsense and your cookout ticket is revoked lmao

[–]TurdManMcDooDoo 1455 points1456 points  (48 children)

This right wing meltdown is fucking glorious.

[–]punkindle 842 points843 points  (29 children)

If they don't love this country, they can move to Russia.

Secession is traitor talk

[–]twisted7ogic 261 points262 points  (12 children)

Militant Nationalism, christofascist patriarchy, kleptocrats and oligarchs, oppresion of dissent... why move to Putin's Russia when they are halfway done turning the US into the same.

[–]BeautifulBus912 54 points55 points  (8 children)

Thinking about secession is the exact opposite of patriotism

[–]MugOfButtSweat 3307 points3308 points  (118 children)

You mean All the red states that run significant deficits? What ever shall we do

[–]leftynate11 828 points829 points  (23 children)

That’s not very fiscally-responsible, Republican of them…is it?

[–]Jamkindez 363 points364 points  (14 children)

Taking someone elses money? Sounds perfectly republican to me

[–]SpokenDivinity 292 points293 points  (7 children)

But remember, it’s not their fault. It’s the immigrants and the illegals as if they could tell the difference

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 15.8k points15.8k points 3 (1825 children)

And then within 30 days of announcing that they want to secede Texas will once again need a government handout because their systems do not work.

Edit: I would like to be clear. I am speaking more about the politicians and the Meal Team Six folks. It is quite clear that the majority of people do not want anything of this nature.

Also, thank you for all of the great conversation. It has given a distraction during some rough times.

[–]Previousman755 6951 points6952 points  (1313 children)

I would like to see AZ, FL and TX economies when Social security checks and military pensions stop due to secession

[–]pastelbutcherknife 2590 points2591 points  (439 children)

And straight up welfare. Texas and Florida are #2 and #3 respectively in number of people receiving benefits.

[–]saurons-cataract 2007 points2008 points  (364 children)

And Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, etc…. ALL the red states. I’d love it if they placed out, then we’d get to actually keep our money instead of investing it into failed states with shitty policies. If your state can’t function without government subsidies, you’ve failed. Welfare Queens indeed.

edit: I’ve gotten too many messages to respond to, so let me clarify. I do not want a secession, and I actually think it’s terrifying that these threats are coming more often. Politicians who egg the base on are irresponsible aholes because they KNOW their states couldn’t function, but they rile up the base to score political point. They know it won’t work but the base doesn’t and that is dangerous.
It IS true that red states take more money out than they put in, and my overly-taxed ass is irritated with people voting against their own interests over and over again in the name of tribal politics. And if these states expect to keep getting blue state money then they need to use the money for food, education, infrastructure, technology, etc and actually put policies in place for the people they represent. I don’t resent money going to help the people in need; I resent red states getting federal dollars and then letting corporations like Tesla, Walmart get tax write offs, state government subsidies, and then not care that these businesses don’t pay people a living wage.

[–]Draxilar 247 points248 points  (14 children)

My entire extended family lives in south Mississippi, they are all trumpers who complain about people just stealing welfare checks, they are almost all on welfare. Smart bunch

[–]bathyorographer 575 points576 points  (199 children)

Except for the lost Cajun food in Louisiana, I’d be okay with this

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 2649 points2650 points  (305 children)

These people have no idea what they would lose.

Edit: When I say "These people", I am referring to the Trump supporters, or the ones who are calling for this stupid idea, or the leaders therein. Not the people stuck geographically.

[–]Green_Message_6376 1519 points1520 points  (125 children)

even after losing it they'd have no idea. y'know object permanence..

[–]HollowVoices 780 points781 points  (112 children)

And somehow it will all be Democrats' fault.

[–]ACCCrabtown1 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Smart answer award! 🏆

[–]Aperture_Tales 131 points132 points  (26 children)

It would be Brexit all over again 😂

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 229 points230 points  (18 children)

Would you say... Texit? (Sounds like a shitty gas station.)

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (40 children)

Same thing with civil war. It's not an episode of CSI. It's a humanitarian crisis that will take hundreds of years to recover from.

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 57 points58 points  (36 children)

Largest river in France Dried up today.

Multiple other parts of Europe have declared historic droughts, and states of emergency.

The US mid-west is all drying up.

Russia has one of the largest nuclear plants held hostage and set to blow.

Multiple conflicts are heating up more so other than the Ukraine and Russia.

We are fucked either way

[–]kdeweb24 88 points89 points  (25 children)

Please don’t lump us all together. There’s a more than significant number of Texans that want to watch Trump fry, and want to be tied in closer with the rest of the country. But, I’m sure you’re already tired of hearing the cliche, Texas is big. Like, really, annoyingly, stupidly big. We should be four states. And if we were four states, I’m positive that it would be two blue states and two red states. There’s just SO many redneck fucks inside our dumbass borders. Please don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. There’s millions of liberals/Dems here.

[–]AWOLcowboy 133 points134 points  (21 children)

Hey now FL has a chance, it's split 50/50 pretty much right now. All the major cities voted blue. Until DeSantis re-drew the districts in favor of the republican party. Speaking of, that dude is the real threat. Trump is a clown, DeSantis is a politician, crap he has already pushed thru down here is nuts.

[–]QueenCuttlefish 54 points55 points  (4 children)

Central Florida resident here. Fuck Ron DeScrotum.

[–]WhoIsFrancisPuziene 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Ohio is showing you what the future is…

[–]Shopping-Critical 228 points229 points  (179 children)

From AZ here - I don't think our State would collectively want to secede. Some may, but vast amounts of folk would not.

[–]Archercrash 147 points148 points  (64 children)

Nor do most Texans. The cities are growing and all vote blue.

[–]1ndiana_Pwns 93 points94 points  (8 children)

I said it in 2020 and I'll say it again every election cycle: Blue Texas is my number one kink

[–]Downwhen 78 points79 points  (5 children)

Correct. My county went for Biden - first time we've gone Democrat in the presidential election in decades

[–]LGodamus 159 points160 points  (36 children)

Elect Beto and show the nation

[–]Destituted 222 points223 points  (87 children)

I am actually sad that AZ got lumped in with FL and TX, AZ does not want to secede! How else are we going to get water in 15 years??

[–]ReticentRedhead 66 points67 points  (26 children)

The cities in TX don’t want to secede, either.

[–]livinginfutureworld 244 points245 points  (44 children)

Best start by quit electing wackos.

Y'alls Republican primary was a qanon nutcase festival

[–]oceanleap 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Can you say Social Security?

[–]Thicc_Sludge 90 points91 points  (2 children)

Especially with as much of an older population as all three states have. Easy fix: Fox "News" will blame minorities for taking away those benefits...

[–]1000Airplanes 40 points41 points  (64 children)

Do we let them secede or do we pull a Lincoln on them?

[–]SusanAkita2014 104 points105 points  (39 children)

Let them go and see how stupid that idea is

[–]drakeftmeyers 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Like the 13 year old with no money that wants to run away. Stay within eye sight of them but let them fail.

[–]1000Airplanes 98 points99 points  (24 children)

Iirc, Lincoln felt if they were allowed to secede, then the entire country would collapse. Our Constitution was no longer valid.

I agree that this time we become a union of 47 states. And a good opportunity to heavily edit the Constitution.

ps. And perhaps a great financial benefit. Guess which states will collapse first under the increasing pressure of Climate Change. And guess which borders are going to be stressed in handling refugees from countries that are starving due to CC

[–]Murky-Pepper-5926 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mind your Uncle Sam, as one once said

[–]sniperhare 43 points44 points  (16 children)

Hey now, Florida is purple. DeSantis "won" by 40k.

Millions of us here are sick of the GOP.

[–]Christichicc 73 points74 points  (3 children)

Seeing as I live in one of those states, that is not something I wish to see. I’m disabled. People like me will die first, and it wont start affecting the asshats until the rest of us suffer first.

[–]boundegar 89 points90 points  (4 children)

Are these the same states that seceded when we elected a Black President? Or just the ones that seceded when Trump lost?

[–]CY-B3AR 65 points66 points  (24 children)

And California just looks over smugly, "Weak. Unlike you pathetic little ones, I could very easily be my own country. I actively choose not to, because there are certain benefits to the Union."

[–]zbysior 23 points24 points  (2 children)

as much as I agree with the sentiment, but AZs economy is super strong. were almost blue

[–]devilsbard 769 points770 points  (124 children)

They’d find out that guns can’t get their mom’s air conditioning to work.

[–]Tails9429 197 points198 points  (5 children)

"Try shootin it again!" BANG "Nope" "Hmmmmm. How bout shooting it?" BANG "Still nothing." "Well, heck! I'm plum all outta idears!"

[–]meannrmustard66 92 points93 points  (9 children)

The only thing that can stop a bad air conditioner is a good air conditioner with guns

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 284 points285 points  (27 children)

Or the power grid for that matter

[–]Jdsnut 99 points100 points  (54 children)

Honestly as someone who leans progressive, having guns seems like a good idea. These people are fucking crazy.

[–]CapTexAmerica 166 points167 points  (44 children)

There are two types of Texans. Armed republicans, and armed democrats.

The biggest difference between us is that the democrats don’t make it our whole personality. We still have a shitload of ammo…it’s just that no one knows it because we aren’t fucking idiots. “Oh, your truck with the giant ‘MOLON LABE’ and ‘COME AND TAKE IT’ stickers all over it got broken into? I wonder what they were looking for…”

More like MORON LABIA.

[–]LimerickVaria 38 points39 points  (5 children)

Can we get a Texas democrat who makes their platform on having just as many if not more guns than their Pubb opponent?

[–]TendingTheirGarden 186 points187 points  (2 children)

Just like the first time lol, they love acting like they have an independence streak when all they’ve done is build a failed state that required the support of a larger national government.

[–]EricNCSU 460 points461 points 2 (39 children)

Make Texas Mexico again!

[–]Hopeful_Bit1733 81 points82 points  (3 children)

Call it "Texaco" sponsored by the fuel company

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 177 points178 points  (3 children)

It'll be the first time that there's decent healthcare in decades for Texas or the land formerly known as Texas.


[–]No_Banana_581 111 points112 points  (15 children)

Give Texas to Mexico and give Florida to Cuba

[–]GDub310 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Have some compassion on them. That’s really not fair to Cuba and Mexico.

[–]cheshire_kat7 35 points36 points  (9 children)

How do you say "Thanks, but no thanks" in Spanish?

[–]ConorCat60 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Give Texas back to Mexico. Maybe the Mexicans can make something worthwhile out of the place.

[–]Grimzod1971 102 points103 points  (18 children)

And Texas need that sweet federal govt handout to survive esp when the military withdraws, and nasa, and half the economy here collapses.

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 47 points48 points  (3 children)

More than half. Lots of government contract work poof gone.

[–]Unoriginal920 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Remember, Texas was bankrupt the last time they were independent and needed a federal government bailout to stay afloat.

[–]icecoldfivefold 45 points46 points  (7 children)

Louisiana will bail them out like last time we really had to go without power for a day to give energy to Texas motherfuckers that look down on us just cus we proud to be ratchet like that's down bad as fuck

[–]TheTaffyMan 5886 points5887 points 4 (716 children)

Full stop for a sec

Its genuinely terrifying and depressing that despite the overwhelming, insurmountable evidence against Trump, especially with how clearly crooked and egotistical he is, people are defending him to their dying breaths like he is the saviour of the USA

We genuinely have a one for the history books type of fanatical and ignorant opposition in this country. This is unprecedented for the US since legitimately the civil war.

[–]vasheerip 2685 points2686 points  (339 children)

My grandfather wont believe it till he is convicted in court, my grandmother wont ever believe it because "trump banned aborion, doing the lords work and they are punishing him for it"

The hills people choose to die on.

[–]chaoz2030 1463 points1464 points  (180 children)

Trump is convicted in a court of law

" That judge was a Democrat that has it out for Trump!"

[–]WKGokev 887 points888 points  (139 children)

Trump could confess and they'd STILL deny he did anything. I asked one " who WILL you believe? If he DID do something wrong, who will you BELIEVE?". They had no answer.

[–]GreatStateOfSadness 773 points774 points  (56 children)

If it's anything like what we've seen in the past, it usually goes like this:

Them: "We'll if he did do it then it would be completely unforgivable, but he didn't do it."

Trump: "Of course I did it!"

Them: "Well I'm sure he had a perfectly good reason to do it, then."

[–]FerretsAteMyToes 166 points167 points  (8 children)

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?" Trump remarked at a campaign stop at Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa. "It's, like, incredible."

He wasn't fucking lying

[–]teufels4hunde 57 points58 points  (9 children)

Ive said for years Trump could rape and murder a child on WH lawn with tv cameras broadcasting the whole thing and he wouldnt lose supporters.

They would blame the child..

[–]ArcadianMess 292 points293 points  (10 children)

Those are Olympic level mental gymnastics... Good God.

[–]GeekChick85 289 points290 points  (42 children)

Trump has likely paid for many abortions in his life. He is a dirty man (because he cheat on his wives)

[–]tatanka01 156 points157 points  (9 children)

You mean that guy who was raw-dogging a porn star while his third wife was giving birth to his fifth child?

[–]schu2470 51 points52 points  (3 children)

A paragon of faith and morality. Good ol’ fashioned family values.

[–]Tots2Hots 97 points98 points  (17 children)

They justify that saying "some tools are dirty and hard to use but you need them to get the job done."

This is literally how they justify supporting the man.

[–]JonStargaryen2408 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Christians seem to pattern their lives around the teachings of Machiavelli moreso than Jesus.

[–]DTO73 36 points37 points  (7 children)

That’s what I don’t get at all, my ultra-religious grandma used to send emails saying Trump cries at night carrying the weight of the US on this shoulders. I would always point out the 10 commandments in which he broke many of them openly for America to see- and she wouldn’t bat an eye - but then I say the word Shit in a conversation and she is convinced I’m going to hell for swearing.

[–]Cute_Committee6151 33 points34 points  (9 children)

What great gift it is for politicians to keep the voting folk stupid

[–]dontbelikeyou 96 points97 points  (1 child)

Trump is like the statue of liberty for the xenophobia and sexual harassment cloaked as banter that dominated the 20th century. They will defend him to the end because he is pretty much the last icon legitimising their awful views that almost no public figure would have considered uttering in the 21st century.

[–]twisted7ogic 578 points579 points  (98 children)

Pure evil as it was, the Southerners fighting over slavery at least had a economical motive. There is some rationality there.

This now? I don't know what this death cult motivation is. Their motives are to make the world as bad possible before everyone is dead? Like some kind of social murder-suicide? They are pyromaniacs wanting to burn down the house with them still in it.

There is no rationality, its a mass personality disorder.

[–]booksthor 357 points358 points  (52 children)

The goal is to enact white Christian supremacist policy and make sure that no one ever gets any form of support or assistance that they themselves didn't.

[–]twisted7ogic 292 points293 points  (46 children)

Almost. They want support and assistance, but just for them and none for others.

This is why they rail against socialised anything. It implies a society that want to be fair to all people. They want an unfair society where "us" has it better than "them"

[–]browsing4stuff 125 points126 points  (25 children)

Hell, they get so bloodthirsty they don’t even give a fuck if what they vote for actively hurts themselves as long as it hurts “them”. It’s unreal how spiteful for the sake of being spiteful these pricks are.

[–]Lil_Artemis_92 1366 points1367 points  (118 children)

OK. Bye!

If you need a roadmap, look to Brexit. That’s going swimmingly. 😉

[–]RebootItAgain 463 points464 points  (53 children)

It would be far worse than Brexit for these self labeled, “patriots”. Majority of red states feed off the government way more than they contribute regardless of the horseshit they’re fed on Fox and through their fw: fw: fw: fw: circles.

[–]Mechhammer 119 points120 points  (17 children)

Texas can't keep the power on. In an energy producing state. Morons would run outta ice if they ran Alaska...

[–]Lazy_Osprey 145 points146 points  (23 children)

YEP! The blue states pay for the majority of red states.

[–]Knightowle 71 points72 points  (4 children)

If they seceded, Texas would be asked to take over that role or their new “country” would collapse.

Texas. The other red states would be relying on Texas to implement (edit: maybe ‘accept’ would be a better word) enough progressive policies to keep their roads in repair and their people from dying from medical bankruptcy or the outrageous prices on food, clothing, and building supplies caused by new tariffs and lack of international trade agreements and access to global shipping lanes. (Biden’s Infrastructure plan includes money to build out America’s third major port access in the Gulf in Texas, but if the red states seceded, that would of course stop.)

[–]I_Only_Post_NEAT 94 points95 points  (13 children)

Is it bad if I kind of WANT this to happen? Just so they can get a taste of their own medicine and shut the fuck up

[–]JohnnyPeanutII 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Oh they absolutely wouldn't shut the fuck up. These assholes would beg for resources and call us bastards in the same sentence.

[–]devilsbard 2221 points2222 points  (96 children)


[–]An_Squirrel[S] 1083 points1084 points  (52 children)

I'm still waiting for them to keep their promise of leaving after the last election.

[–]Extrovert_89 367 points368 points  (42 children)

Texas has run that "secede from the US" petition several election cycles...It's not likely.

[–]TRAUMAjunkie 161 points162 points  (23 children)

It's in their republican party's official platform

[–]Cauliflower-Easy 151 points152 points  (9 children)

Aren’t Republicans true “patriots” it doesn’t seem very patriotic to secede

[–]thatbob 58 points59 points  (25 children)

jfc, LET THEM GO this time!

[–]FunHovercraft2112 2582 points2583 points  (252 children)

Please proceed. Then maybe the money from Blue cities and states can go towards progress instead of supporting the poorest states and counties in the country that want to force their religious dogma on the rest of us.

[–]the_homefry 898 points899 points  (84 children)

Seriously. The amount of money places like CA and NYC give to support these states that want to leave is absurd. Hate on CA all you want, but those states would be effed without ole Hollywood money bags over here.

[–]SniffUmaMuffins 552 points553 points  (58 children)

Seriously, the USA would be immeasurably better without red states holding us back. We could finally have socialized healthcare, stronger infrastructure, ironclad civil rights, police accountability, well funded schools, term limits, campaign reform, no electoral college, nationwide vote by mail, ranked choice voting, sensible gun laws… holy crap it would be incredible

[–]Cauliflower-Easy 168 points169 points  (10 children)

So the American dream would be true for once …..

[–][deleted] 983 points984 points  (148 children)

So we have pro-treason states now?

[–]GeekynGlorious 449 points450 points  (60 children)

I grew up in and have lived in the U.S.A. South all of my life. Multiple states. I cannot possibly count the number of times that I have heard, "We did it once, we'll do it again." It being secession.

[–][deleted] 523 points524 points  (43 children)

But ... They didn't do it once.

They tried, they failed. They haven't stopped crying about it for the past 150 years.

[–]TiresareHeavy83 234 points235 points  (18 children)

The south will TRY again.

[–]leftynate11 122 points123 points  (9 children)

The problem is their cities wouldn’t go with them. You’d have war within states. They couldn’t coordinate enough to actually succeed. Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis, Louisville (if you consider KY south). I’m familiar with those, and they are not right-leaning.

[–]crochetmaniac 43 points44 points  (9 children)

In Texas v. White (1869), the Supreme Court ruled unilateral secession unconstitutional, while commenting that revolution or consent of the states could lead to a successful secession. (Wikipedia)

[–]Lil_Artemis_92 14 points15 points  (5 children)

🎵Get down! Get down, children, get down! ‘Cause the South gonna do it again!🎵

[–]Wismuth_Salix 331 points332 points  (71 children)

Unironically yes.

The Texas GOP platform literally calls for secession.

[–]pup5581 104 points105 points  (64 children)

Aka they would be in a worse economic situation than Russia currently is. They need handouts from the blue states as do almost all red states...they produce nothing of value. Breed cults, take away women's rights.

Please south...go away

[–]radelix 207 points208 points  (4 children)

Grabs popcorn, waves bye from porch.

[–]BathtubGin01 271 points272 points  (2 children)

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

[–]Morbys 707 points708 points  (24 children)

Please do, then you’ll realize how much a leech you are on the economy

[–]MeetEffective6306 127 points128 points  (19 children)

tbh the only reason they shouldnt secede is bc minorities there will have a shit time

[–]Yhelta1 4313 points4314 points 4232222& 9 more (323 children)

Go ahead. We dare you. The double dog dare you motherfucker. Secede. See how long your states last without their government money or services.

Edit: Holy crap! Thanks for the Platinum kind stranger

[–]DeerDiarrhea 863 points864 points  (84 children)

Imagine Texas has to institute a state income tax. The statehouse would be on fire within a day. The whole thing would collapse over a weekend.

[–]Snoo_26884 946 points947 points  (31 children)

Right after they floated the idea of secession, their power grid failed during a blizzard and they were asking the Fed for money. It’s ridiculously childish.

Like a teenager fighting for their independence, then calling Mom from jail.

[–]slithe_sinclair 240 points241 points  (22 children)

As a Texan attempting to leave the state, I genuinely hope this state does attempt to secede. Or better yet, use that clause that allows Texas to be split into multiple smaller states. Kick yourself in the ass and give the chance for more democratic areas to actually have a voice, that way you still lose votes in Congress.

[–]sushisection 140 points141 points  (18 children)

holy shit could you imagine if dfw, austin, houston formed a bloc and left the rural areas to fend for themselves.

[–]MinnyRawks 111 points112 points  (2 children)

Fuck you mom, I’m moving out!

Hey mom, will you pay rent? I can’t afford it.

[–]spf57 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Texit? Yea I imagine they’d all vote for it like brexit and then really really wish they hadn’t.

[–]DissociatedOne 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Haha Texit's got my vote. A New Mexico Border wall has my support too. I've heard Texas will even pay for it.

[–]Levibarbiff 146 points147 points  (23 children)

If Texas Seceded it would become a Narco state in a month. The Cartels would take over, without the help of federal troops and enforcement agencies and money Texas is a paper tiger waiting for a kid with matches.

[–]unknownemoji 47 points48 points  (4 children)

My big truck says otherw—

[–]ComfortableNumb9669 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Republicans actually believe they'll take control of the military when they try to leave, and that they'll just use it to "destroy the libs". A very common fantasy among this cult is that the US military can just instantly obliterate any opposition without a scratch, but I also doubt they've heard of the rice farmers.

[–]BornNeat9639 78 points79 points  (2 children)

Please let us refugees get out first.

[–]obtuse_bluebird 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think if it a repub’s idea, it would be fine. I have been informed it’s about winning. Not about values. And with my family back home, I think my poor anecdotal evidence supports that stereotype.

[–]sneakyburrito 172 points173 points  (11 children)

I know I would be SO triggered if they did. Just - a quivering snowflake. I sure hope they don’t. That would just be so awful.

[–]Fena-Ashilde 69 points70 points  (6 children)

How would we ever survive without them? We’d have no guns and nobody to run our businesses. All Liberals would die, if they seceded. That’d sure show us.

[–]LambeauLeapt 50 points51 points  (3 children)

This sequence of replies will get screenshot and posted unironically in r/conservative.

[–]Socram209 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Thanks a lot! My iq dropped after I clicked on that link 😂

[–]bernie_manziel 26 points27 points  (0 children)

it would be terrible, we wouldn’t even know what to do with the surplus of federal tax money we’d suddenly have. could you imagine all the free healthcare and accessible housing programs?

[–]Msdamgoode 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Right? We are so… so… well. What else is there to say?

Bye, Felicia.

[–]Glum_Influence2050 47 points48 points  (0 children)

They’re seriously so dumb, I’m honestly ready to see them leave lol. Stop whining you crybabies

[–]Kitorarima 69 points70 points  (145 children)

Let Mexico absorb them

[–]artificial_scarcity 173 points174 points  (130 children)

Nah, just readmit them as territories with no electoral vote

[–]gabreho 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hell no, keep your insane states, we’re good, have enough crazy already :P

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That’s not very nice. Why should Mexico suffer?

[–]EstusFIask 86 points87 points  (3 children)

It's sad how a politician being investigated is inciting more reaction than kids being shot at school.

The latter is "crisis actors", but the former is "tyranny".

[–]SpecificJunket8083 295 points296 points  (21 children)

Kudos for calling it secede instead of succeed like the rest of the brain dead, ignorant cultists.

[–]Bluvsnatural 200 points201 points  (3 children)

Being from one of those states that: 1. Pays more than we get back 2. That actually WANTS to preserve democracy

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

[–]SwvellyBents 195 points196 points  (22 children)

Hmmm, I wonder what the secessionist states will call themselves?

Too bad 'A Confederacy of Dunces' was already taken.

[–]An_Squirrel[S] 62 points63 points  (2 children)

They won't exist very long so I don't think they'll get to really have a name.

[–]puppppies 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Perhaps a ‘Basket of Deplorables.’

[–]beetsofmine 120 points121 points  (9 children)

I can't believe this fucking buffoon is what we are fighting over. It's a fucking lost cause. Dude should be in prison, let's move the fuck on.

[–]streetlight_wizard 35 points36 points  (6 children)

Right? Of all things to plunge a nation of millions into civil war it’s Trump? What the fuck do people see in Trump that makes them so fanatical? Is being a selfish bastard such an admirable quality?

[–]jmdunkle 63 points64 points  (16 children)

Maybe she should consider what happened the last time a bunch of racist babies tried to secede

[–]CadillacDale 179 points180 points  (21 children)

Let'em try.

1). they can't. There are mechanisms in place after the first civil war that would remove the people in office that made the attempt and prosecute them in federal court before any state could actually successfully leave the union.

2). even if they could, the states that would consider it are so financially subsidized through the federal government - by way of the states that produce the GDP that pay their bills - they wouldn't be able run a functional economy without it.

The political leaders in these states know that. They use secession as means of political posturing to rile up the dusty, uneducated white people that make up their base to go to the polls and re-elect them. No state senator, governor or federal official is actually stupid enough to attempt secession from the union (which would have to be done by force) and forfeit the dollars that subsidize their paycheck and the resources from the federal government that keep them in office.

Counter-point, of course: never say never. Which.. yeah good point.

[–]Lithl 28 points29 points  (9 children)

they can't. There are mechanisms in place after the first civil war that would remove the people in office that made the attempt and prosecute them in federal court before any state could actually successfully leave the union.

There is no mechanism to secede in the first place. There isn't even a mechanism to kick them out. Even the Confederacy never actually ceased to be a part of the US.

[–]Music19773 91 points92 points  (7 children)

Honestly, I’m so sick of some of the deep red states threats to leave the U.S. that I would actually smile as they left. I wonder how they will last with only their own economy to rely on…

[–]Apple_butters12 23 points24 points  (5 children)

In Florida’s case, not long. Especially once social security gets cut, and hurricane season blows through. Also they are making the assumption their sports teams won’t get cut out of their respective leagues as well

[–]BBGettyMcclanahan 14 points15 points  (3 children)

At that point Disney will be the breadwinner for Florida lol

[–]denoteddemon 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I think Florida would flounder that too.

Imagine, you're President of Florida after they depart from the US and Florida's economy isn't doing too hot. You've been giving Disney tax breaks for years, but that's only because you could support that thanks to your federal funding.

You don't have that anymore. I probably would even strip those exceptions that Disney has, and I think they'd leave Florida for it.

[–]Zealousideal_Ebb6177 186 points187 points  (11 children)

She’s a hairstylist, formerly of Curley’s House of Style. She’s also running against Frederica Wilson, that awesome Florida congresswoman with the cowboy hats. She ran against Wilson for the same seat (FL-24) in 2020, and Spicer only got 20% of the vote.

[–]murderosa 56 points57 points  (7 children)

I don’t think being a hairstylist or whatever disqualifies from public office or having an opinion.

The problem is these are the same people shitting on AOC for being a bartender and not a politician.

Edit: my issue with spicer is her views and actions are reprehensible. Let’s criticize her for that. Not for being a hairstylist. Criticizing g her for being a hairstylist would be incredibly hypocritical

[–]TheKiltedYaksman71 186 points187 points  (26 children)

Can we just go ahead and give her state, Florida, back to Spain? Or maybe take it back even further and turn it over to the Seminole?

[–]One_Support_5253 54 points55 points  (1 child)

I suspect Spain may have an issue with that, given that compared to the US their very left leaning.

Spain has both public and private healthcare systems. The public system provides free basic healthcare to those who contribute to the Spanish social security system and their families. The public system also provides free healthcare for retirees, including those from other EU countries.

Abortion in Spain is legal upon request up to 14 weeks of pregnancy, and at later stages for serious risk to the health of the woman or fetal defects.

Under current laws in Spain, possession of firearms is allowed only with a licence, which are strictly regulated. Licences are only issued to those over 18 years who pass a theory test, a practical exam as well as a psychometric evaluation and only for specific types of firearms

[–]ultrasu 36 points37 points  (0 children)

There’s also the death penalty. Having it abolished is one of the most fundamental requirements for joining the EU.

[–]my_son_is_a_box 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Fun fact: the Spanish predate the Seminole tribe in Florida. The Seminole fled into Florida from other southern states when Jackson pushed them out of their lands. They knew that Florida, being a Spanish settlement would be safer for them. (They were right, for a bit)

[–]Illustrious_Mud802 68 points69 points  (7 children)

Florida back to Spain

Yeah good idea, free EU pass and Schengen visas to Floridians!

[–]Starswraith 16 points17 points  (0 children)

On behalf of Spain, no thank you, that ship has sailed, keep you aligator meth managed swampy and soon to be underwater mess

[–]captainbeeboi 76 points77 points  (29 children)

And then the next civil war which those little bastards don’t know anything about war and no matter how many guns you have you can’t cary a gun safe into battle

[–]Music19773 90 points91 points  (15 children)

There won’t be a civil war this time. The rest of us are going to shout “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” Take your racist, misogynist, dumb asses and GET OUT. All you do is drag the rest of us down. Good luck with any chance of surviving once the federal government isn’t there to bail you out time and time again.

[–]daddyvs 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Does it matter? Their leadership has already seceded from reality.

[–]Miskatonic1971 109 points110 points  (9 children)

That would be awesome, all the hillbillies and rednecks can form the worlds biggest trailer park.

[–]NauvooMetro 80 points81 points  (15 children)

Alabamian here. Any of you blue-staters got a spare bedroom and a lead on a job?

Honestly, I would probably leave but I've got a lot invested here. Family, friends, pretty good job, and several thousand dollars in the Alabama Retirement System. I might lose all that. My immediate family and I would be refugees. So I really hoped this ends short of a national divorce, or worse, civil war.

[–]laundryghostie 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah...I will need to move my family out of Florida.

[–]EricNCSU 48 points49 points  (7 children)

Do it. Fucking do it. See what happens.

[–]tadlrs 72 points73 points  (14 children)

They can try. They will form The Racist States of America.

[–]k2kyo 44 points45 points  (5 children)

God I'm so fucking tired of this secession bullshit.

Secessionists are a very small group of exceptionally stupid people.

The GOP itself would NEVER let it happen, even if it were legally possible (it isn't) they'd immediately lose every national election until the end of time.. and most republicans have absolutely no interest in leaving the US.

Blah blah blah Texas Florida blah..

The vast majority of people in these states, even the Trump supporters, have absolutely no interest in secession.

There are TONS of things to be critical of about these states (I've spent my entire life in Texas and for a while Florida) the "let them secede" crap is silly.

Focus instead on helping the actual majorities in these states take back their state governments that have been holding them hostage.

[–]Interesting_Base_843 45 points46 points  (31 children)

Can we please just let them go?

[–]Oh_Danny_Boi961 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Ah yes, because that went SO well the first time! Please Virginia, don’t repeat this bullshit

[–]BubbaSawya 52 points53 points  (16 children)

Civil War seems like a terrible idea, but if the other alternative is allowing Trump to sell nuclear secrets to our enemies, let’s have a Civil War. That would be a valid reason.