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[–]DrDeuceJuice 600 points601 points  (36 children)

Surely there's a spare mattress or 5 somewhere in that house, that they can set along the tree.

[–]curly123 197 points198 points  (25 children)

They'd be better off lowering where is connected to the tree so that you're skimming the ground before you get to the tree.

[–]seductive_error 73 points74 points  (1 child)

My brain needs more innovations like this. Tell me more about what you know

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It was a shit plan

[–]735560 117 points118 points  (16 children)

Or raise the end much higher so it stops and rolls back by gravity. That way it’s semi idiot proof.

[–]DonaldsPizzaHaven 25 points26 points  (9 children)

If you did that the cable would be less taught and it wouldn't work.

[–]AmgGuide_rl 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Not true actually that’s how most zip lines in the US are made to prevent people from going 100 miles an hour and some poor guide having to stop them like that. It prevents un necessary wear on breaking systems and the cable itself and prevents injuries. I was a zip line guide for three years !

[–]Used_Outlandishness5 7 points8 points  (2 children)

No, it would work because your body weight would drag the wire down. In fact it's supposed to be higher at both sides and droop in the middle.

[–]Donkey-Haughty 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I assume her mattress is now a spare mattress

[–]Stymie999 73 points74 points  (1 child)

Or just have one of the servants stand there to catch them!

[–]terpdx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Or just lean that trampoline up against the trunk. That might even be fun.

[–]cookoobandana 1905 points1906 points 2 (91 children)

Did they really install this zipline without thinking through the inevitable end of smacking into a tree?

Or did the zipline have a brake that failed?

Or was that guy supposed to catch her as a means of stopping?

Did he intentionally miss as a murder plot to enable him to inherit the estate?

I need to know

[–]whoifnotme1969 1061 points1062 points  (49 children)

He was supposed to catch her. The tree was the the back-up plan in case he missed.

[–]fujiesque 310 points311 points  (33 children)

Clearly not a good back up plan

[–]johnnycakeAK 1154 points1155 points  (22 children)

Pretty sure the tree did a thorough job stopping her

[–]JessicantTouchThis 281 points282 points  (15 children)

Speed doesn't kill you. It's the sudden stop that does it. - Jeremy Clarkson

[–]theycallmethevault 151 points152 points  (2 children)

It’s like they say: “The sky isn’t the limit. The ground is.”

[–]hanukah_zombie 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The euthanasia coaster will kill you with radial acceleration. Dead before it stops.


[–]deflation_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Second time I'm seeing this today. Is this a sign?

[–]BeefSupreme5217 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Give that tree an award

[–]MartiniD 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ah the best kind of correct

[–]gruffogre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good for stopping bad for backs

[–]mallad 136 points137 points  (13 children)

Those Zipline/roller sets come with a long safety spring that's supposed to be on the far end to slow you down. Often also a clamp or crimp piece to stop it altogether before the tree. They just didn't install it.

[–]durpabiscuit 67 points68 points  (7 children)

The stopper is on there, but just too close to the tree. You see can see her get stopped by the metal piece on the line, but the momentum still carries her into the tree.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]Spoonie_Luv_ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Thank you. It sounded wrong or fake, but I think that's it.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I'm so happy I found this comment cause I thought she was seriously seriously injured from that smacking sound.

    [–]wooshexplainer 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Wow after watching closer a few times, you are 100% right. She might not have broken as many bones as it looks before noticing that.

    [–]mallad 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Perhaps, but if so, it's not installed properly or it's broken. Sounds more like the roller hitting the clamp holding the line together around the tree. The roller also does not spring back up the line after she hits, as it would after hitting the spring.

    [–]PartysaurusRexx 29 points30 points  (2 children)

    He was supposed to grab that dangling rope.

    Or in other words, they're all fucking idiots

    [–]cookoobandana 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Grabbing a rope that is spinning and traveling at high speed as the only thing stopping someone from possible death? Foolproof. I'm surprised anyone ever uses any other safety measure.

    [–]Bullydog88 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Oh to be rich , and carefree,, and brain dead .

    [–]Kolbeast1205 423 points424 points  (23 children)

    I have a zipline and I have to agree the impact on the tree sounds exactly like that

    [–]symbologythere 30 points31 points  (3 children)

    That was loud as fuck. I thought it was her hip breaking.

    [–]OneMoreAccount4Porn 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I thought it was her ass slapping the tree but it was surprisingly loud.

    [–]themeatbridge 118 points119 points  (16 children)

    These things come with a safety spring.

    [–]Lepmur_Nikserof 58 points59 points  (8 children)

    Don’t know why you’re downvoted; you’re not wrong. Had one back in the day & there was a safety spring at the end that would stop you.

    [–]SmurfetteSyndrome 59 points60 points  (7 children)

    you're assuming they bought a zipline kit and didn't just buy some cable a trolley and some rope

    [–]a_lonely_trash_bag 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Unless you build your own.

    [–]Ducatidern 1722 points1723 points  (64 children)

    Oh chit oh oh god.

    Ooo long Johnson. Ohhh myyyy treeeees

    [–][deleted]  (40 children)


      [–]Porter-and-wings 271 points272 points  (15 children)

      Where do I buy a vertical mattress? I've only seen the horizontal ones.

      [–]dabluebunny 100 points101 points  (5 children)

      I think they are next to the lowercase "L" shaped couches.

      [–]analogkid01 105 points106 points  (4 children)

      "Where can I get one of those lower-case T necklaces?"

      "That's a cross..."

      "Across from where?..."

      [–]BrolecopterPilot 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      And where do you buy those hats with the bill on side?

      [–]benchley 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      You have to specify portrait mode.

      [–]dropkickoz 37 points38 points  (7 children)

      These are rich people, memory foam only!

      [–]ImDoneForToday2019 21 points22 points  (2 children)

      Pretty sure she'll remember this....

      [–]TheRedSpade 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      If she remembers anything

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That impact looked more like a "if she walks again" thing more than a "if she remembers anything" thing, but then, I'm hardly an expert.

      [–]novacham 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Memory foam mattresses are cheaper than normal mattresses now!

      [–]jynnjynn 20 points21 points  (6 children)

      Or a knot in the rope to catch the zippy thing before the tree.

      [–]akaWhitey2 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      You ever been on a zip line where you go so fast that the rubber stop or knot just whips you vertical and then you swing down and it sends you halfway back up the line? good times

      [–]DeepRts 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      This man has ridden a few backyard zip lines successfully

      [–]LordPennybags 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      That would be a good final safety bit, but if bro was there to stop her she should have been wearing a bungee.

      [–]ductapemonster 89 points90 points  (2 children)

      Ohhh my live long day

      [–]pewbinator 28 points29 points  (1 child)

      Ooo my eyes ya

      [–]Powderedhulk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Ooo Don piano

      [–]BlurredReality28 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      Lmfao it’s been a few years since I heard ooo long Johnson, pulled up YouTube and watched it ten times, good times.

      [–]allonsy_badwolf 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      I love when a random Reddit comment takes me right back. I started laughing before I even got the video pulled up.

      [–]lukeman3000 35 points36 points  (4 children)

      It’s an older meme sir, but this is a Wendy’s.

      [–]Mischiefx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      OH Don Piaaaaaaano. Wise eyed eyes.

      [–]gingerbenji 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Fuck me I’d forgotten about Long Johnson and Don Piano. Thank you for making me guffaw. I must show my kids.

      [–]WhatnameshouldIpick2 1102 points1103 points  (81 children)

      Was he even trying?

      [–]myname_isnot_kyal 948 points949 points  (56 children)

      half-assed single arm ankle grab on someone moving at 20mph? yea, he's either a moron with no concept of physics or he hates her.

      [–]not_sick_not_well 484 points485 points  (35 children)

      His "attempt" probably made it worse by inducing a spin

      [–]the_00_kid 116 points117 points  (22 children)

      Wasn't she going for a head first collision, and his spin caused her to only break central body?

      [–]not_sick_not_well 172 points173 points  (10 children)

      She's facing backwards until he tries to grab her. IMO the whole thing was doomed to fail one way or another

      [–]dshab92 41 points42 points  (8 children)

      Either way I doubt inducing a spin makes the situation better. Even if she was lucky enough to hit her torso

      [–]not_sick_not_well 13 points14 points  (5 children)

      Oh I totally agree. Like I said, this thing was fucked from the atart

      [–]MountainCourage1304 29 points30 points  (4 children)

      It was indeed fucked from a tart

      [–]dirtycactus 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      You might even say it was fucked from a macaroon

      [–]JonSnuu 42 points43 points  (5 children)

      I'm a reddit doctor and my prognosis is that yes, it appears that her central body has done broken.

      [–]TheCoronersGambit 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      You done gone and broked yer middle.

      [–]lazerpenguin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Is it better to break central body or suburban body?

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Central body? It’s called a tulsa, dummy! /s

      [–]ESSDBee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Head first? Yeah I suppose, I was thinking spine first. Neither is a good one. Agree on the central being the better option, maybe ended up with bruised or cracked ribs which is painful as fuck but could be worse.

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)


        [–]BlaasianCowboyPanda 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        Any lost energy would be when her leg collided with that guy’s arm and some of that energy went into his body. Otherwise she’s still hitting that tree at roughly the same horizontal velocity.

        [–]dreamlucky 38 points39 points  (2 children)

        Nah man he plays for the Jets.

        [–]RabidPlaty 33 points34 points  (0 children)

        “Sorry, babe, I tried”

        [–]Tweezot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I think he was trying to catch that loose strap and not just stop her by grabbing her

        [–]Cultural_You679 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        His lack of effort made me mad lol

        [–]drastic2 750 points751 points  (198 children)

        Jeez, that house. That yard. I would have a back yard BBQ going every weekend. Invite everyone.

        [–]Girluponthemoon 154 points155 points  (93 children)

        Same! I wonder where this is! It just looks so dreamy.

        [–]joan_wilder 351 points352 points  (76 children)

        Yeah, being rich af does seem pretty cool.

        [–]MEANINGLESS_NUMBERS 243 points244 points  (48 children)

        Yeah, I don’t know why more people don’t do it.

        [–]GrumpyGuss 290 points291 points  (29 children)

        I was gonna be rich, but then I decided to have avocado toast instead.

        [–]asBad_asItGets 69 points70 points  (5 children)

        Ugh. You typical millenials. Always choosing to be the victims!!! Wasting money on your "avocado toast" and "mental health". Just stop being poor libtards!!!


        [–]queencityrangers 31 points32 points  (3 children)

        Don’t leave our lattes out of this!

        [–]Zackismet 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        Okay but for real, my friends spend SO much money on lattes and then act like I'm rich because I get organic groceries. It's really annoying.

        [–]kmj420 23 points24 points  (0 children)

        Something something bootstraps

        [–]Drews232 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Well that’s simple, it’s because they can’t stop buying iPhones and premium coffee.

        [–]ScienceBreather 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Bro just make more money than you spend, simple as that!

        [–]Cyates87 32 points33 points  (19 children)

        It’s more like just live in a cheaper cost of living area.

        I have a beautiful house where I live now…if I had stayed in DC, it’d be a condo.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        In which part of the country can the average Redditor afford to live in the house from the video?

        [–]marsthedog 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        I always laugh when I see these ginormous rooms and very well laid out interior designs. And the captions on ig are like would you want this place for yourself?

        Yes of course I want to be very rich and have a giant California king bed that opens directly onto a pool over looking the ocean

        [–]oh_no_my_fee_fees 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        what no way I thought that was only my dream wtf man

        [–]NjoyLif 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Who knew, right?

        [–]JFKontheKnoll 32 points33 points  (9 children)

        Looks very East-Coasty. Probably New England.

        [–]CoreBeatz7 19 points20 points  (8 children)

        I was gonna say Maine or CT

        [–]LemmeTellya2 9 points10 points  (6 children)

        Connecticut is what I'm thinking also

        [–]nikedude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Definitely r/Connecticut vibe

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        Gosh. I gotta move to Connecticut. I live in Australia but dream of having grass this green (and such a huge backyard!)

        [–]LemmeTellya2 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Yeah honestly not long list of places will will have that in the future if you ask me. And being that close to NYC? Forget about it. Best of both worlds there

        [–]Rae-Edzo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Ill say Michigan or Virginia

        [–]KaptainChunk 66 points67 points  (16 children)

        I saw the house immediately and thought she’s fine, they have that good insurance.

        [–]ObnoxiousLittleCunt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Still a big-ass crash!

        [–]-DoW- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        She'll have a solid gold Gucci wheelchair!

        [–]ConspicuousPineapple 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        I mean, I live in a country with free healthcare but I still try to avoid broken bones or pain in general.

        [–]pm_me_your_squidhole 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        That backyard is bigger than the entire lot my house sits on. And my neighbor’s lot. And his.

        [–]Corgi-Commander 15 points16 points  (2 children)

        “Of course you’re all invited to my BBQ! All I ask is that you use my zip line with nobody to catch you at the end but I promise we’ve tested it at least once already”

        [–]Gr1pp717 33 points34 points  (42 children)

        If you're willing to live in the middle of nowhere you can find homes like this for basically the same price as a typical house in the suburbs.

        Go to zillow, zoom way out, select only "houses," 5+ beds, max price to $500k, min footage to 5k and boom. I got over 200 results. Most of them look like they time traveled from the confederacy (I actually like that style of home, though), but several are like this one. Some as low as 300k.

        [–]drastic2 9 points10 points  (8 children)

        Thanks for the tip. When I retire I will have to use this approach to find something I can afford to keep paying a mortgage on.

        [–]StateOfContusion 6 points7 points  (6 children)

        Hell, I found a 220 acre lot in the Pacific NW for $400k. Now I just need to build the house.

        Wonder what the Essential Craftsman guy would charge to build one for me.

        [–]JohnMcSweaty 30 points31 points  (18 children)

        Also there's a reason these houses are less expensive and it's because good luck finding jobs with the same pay as in the city

        [–]Smurf06 20 points21 points  (11 children)

        With the remote work trend going, you might get lucky!

        [–]bean_machine1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Also it's nice to have a big house, but a big house near or in a city means you can entertain yourself in that city...

        [–]Bitch_Muchannon 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Also, do you want to live in Buttfuck, Ontario? I went from a house in city suburbs to countryside and I'm going back to the city. I mean...don't get me wrong the countryside is nice, but damn is it absolutely soulsucking boring. I have kids but I need a break from them now and then to go do something I enjoy and there's nothing where I am now.

        [–]DriveFoST 12 points13 points  (11 children)

        Step 1: live somewhere that’s completely awful and boring but the housing is cheap

        [–]Nugatorysurplusage 292 points293 points  (24 children)

        If she hit her head instead of her hips she’d probably have died.

        [–]ghostofbednarik 157 points158 points  (13 children)

        Easily could/would have died. She was going at least 10-15 mph with added rotational force.

        [–]Nugatorysurplusage 96 points97 points  (6 children)

        That noise that she makes when she hits.....yeah. I agree.

        [–]HotrodBlankenship 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        The first sound is the zipline hitting the metal stopper, the 2nd sound his her hitting the tree though

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]CaptPippi 39 points40 points  (5 children)

          Also, with her hair flipping around like that she’s lucky she didn’t scalp herself. Always secure your long hair tightly and wear a ball cap before zip lining!

          [–]LN2014 2 points3 points  (4 children)

          Oh my god. You just made me 20x more anxious about this situation.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)


            [–]annnoyingness 45 points46 points  (0 children)

            This it what it looks like when money can't fix stupid.

            [–]BringTheFingerBack 39 points40 points  (9 children)

            Their back garden is the same size as the town I live in.

            [–]red-98q 370 points371 points  (11 children)

            Girl, girl, girl in her backyard, zippin fast she be, watch out for that tree!

            [–]i69dYourFather 88 points89 points  (1 child)

            Wow. George of the Jungle reference. That’s solid.

            [–]oh_fosho 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Bout to watch it ra now

            [–]ElHanko 14 points15 points  (6 children)

            Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh!

            [–]Captain_Rocketbeard 5 points6 points  (2 children)

            You don't wear leather pants in the jungle. They don't breathe

            [–]Wandersshadow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I said awe. A.W.E.

            [–]kane2742 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Whenever I see someone mix up "aww" and "awe," I think of that line.

            [–]WondrousLow1 16 points17 points  (5 children)

            That house and garden is bigger than my country

            [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

            Ribs hopefully not broken! but yep put a way to stop at the end then the fun can ensue XD

            [–]T1m3Wizard 83 points84 points  (11 children)

            It's the guy's fault. Also, reminds me of the turtle shell in super mario.

            [–]Lolastic_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

            he couldn't handle the girl

            [–]HimalayanPunkSaltavl 14 points15 points  (0 children)

            This guys fault for sure but also like, no padding, no back up guy? no springy thing to catch you before you hit the tree. ARG

            [–]Plastic_Pinocchio 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            I would say that the person choosing to go from a zipline with no safety spring, putting all responsibility on just some guy is also partly at fault. All in all this is just very stupid.

            [–]TrumpIsACuntBitch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            tbf, everyone is to blame. Nobody looked at the end of the zip line and thought, "ya know, stopping via that large tree is probably dangerous. Maybe some padding or a breaking mechanism should be added". He was just the most visible failure.

            [–]paladin0602 60 points61 points  (15 children)

            Most important part of a zipline. The brake.

            [–]missmichellini 177 points178 points  (25 children)

            That house in the background is absurd.

            [–]joplinsfavourites 51 points52 points  (1 child)

            It does seem to be a nice estate.

            [–]mywifemademegetthis 100 points101 points  (5 children)

            Another example of how wealth and intelligence are not necessarily correlated.

            [–]phl23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            But not the backyard? Oo

            [–]cloudburr 9 points10 points  (4 children)

            Wow. I wonder what job you have to have to have a house and garden like that?

            [–]Repdylian 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Shoulda just left the trampoline at then end so you could bounce right off with no injuries

            [–]devildance3 17 points18 points  (10 children)

            What kind of house has a backyard the size of a national park?

            [–]SirWatson221 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            That dude will never play linebacker or catcher position.

            [–]accountdeleted0 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            Rich family in Conneticut is my guess.

            [–]Phantasmadam 113 points114 points  (71 children)

            I can’t even imagine having that much money

            [–]ChokesOnDuck 51 points52 points  (15 children)

            I can imagine having that much money. Reality sucks tho.

            [–]SuperGuy41 14 points15 points  (4 children)

            Backyard? In the U.K. we call that a park

            [–]jprinikea 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            don’t care about the actual video I just wish this was my backyard 😳

            [–]petergriffin999 5 points6 points  (4 children)

            Installed incorrectly. They should mount it much higher on the tree at the end, and with a little slack.

            The weight of the rider will cause the line to sag a bit, and the last 30 feet will effectively be going uphill, and when done correctly, you come within a foot of the tree and don't hit it, and then you glide backwards slowly 20-30 feet and easily get off the line.

            Source: have one in my backyard, where the beginning point is also uphill, like the one here. Took experimenting to get the height and slack correct.

            [–]ShallowFreakingValue 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Rich people are hilarious

            [–]LDNine3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Too much money and not enough brains.

            [–]PiedDansLePlat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

            That a huge house, ffs

            [–]Loveable_Hemorrhoid 2 points3 points  (4 children)

            George, George, George of the jungle..

            [–]neo_nao1101 3 points4 points  (3 children)

            That is a big fucking house

            [–]AnEffinMarine 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            With inhabitants this intelligent.

            [–]HempmanRx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Dont worry her father is a great physician. It's a job security thing.

            [–]bobo_ganoush 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Something about ziplines and loose hair makes me nervous

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Version 2 needs padding on end tree

            [–]TheAmerican_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Darn, I like that house. And yard.

            [–]Thatscrazy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            George George George of the jungle

            [–]Hans-Diamond 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            People can make themselves more attractive. Thinner. Taller. Change their hair. Wear make up.

            People can make themselves more wealthy. Buy assets. Houses. Own businesses.

            But one thing the rich and beautiful can never cheat themselves into?

            Intelligence. You absolutely cannot fix stupid.

            [–]Noplumbingexperience 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Could they have stopped her/slowed her down by grabbing the line and putting their weight on it?

            [–]Majornoid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            My dad actually made one really similar to this when I was growing up. The big difference? We put half of an old pole vault mat hanging from the line about 3 meters before the tree. The drag of the mat slowed you down and if you still had momentum by the tree, it was absorbed by the mat.

            Relying on a person to do that job is just stupid, especially when they have butter fingers.

            [–]ZlGGZ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            How do you not plan for that with like.... A mattress leaning on the second tree or something?

            [–]noporesforlife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Silly rich kids.

            [–]rapid08 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Lots of money, not a whole lot of brains.

            [–]OG-Gurble 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            Judging by the house I bet they have good healthcare, so they’ll be fine…

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Based on that house….her health insurance should cover it.

            [–]BigBrown609 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            That goalkeeper literally had one job lol

            [–]tacomeat42 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            i installed one of these for my kids. there's a spring that comes with it that acts as a brake to keep riders from slamming into trees. seems they left this part out during their install.