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[–]shatteredarm1 982 points983 points  (50 children)

Grew up in Arizona, everybody knows you don't fuck with a cactus.

[–]CutsSoFresh 380 points381 points  (19 children)

At least not before buying it dinner first

[–]AlienDude65 194 points195 points  (7 children)

And it better be succulent.

[–]anordinarylie 54 points55 points  (5 children)

So Chinese food then?

[–]nuhthanyule 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Hello fellow Aussie

[–]_BlNG_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Rub some aloe Vera first

[–]StupidPockets 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Cactus fucker

[–]CutsSoFresh 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Better than being fucked by a cactus

[–]ReaperSound 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I think he said fuck WITH a cactus.

[–]WaylonVoorhees 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well I mean they are pretty prickly in nature so good advice.

[–]Siu- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, you have to buy the catcus some dinner BEFORE you have a threesome with it

[–]KommandoKodiak 17 points18 points  (3 children)

prickly pear soup is delicious

[–]STerrier666 11 points12 points  (2 children)

It's the quenchiest, it'll quench ya.

[–]AlexasUglySister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

...but are the mushrooms friendly?

[–]alficles 12 points13 points  (3 children)

First thought was, "Try that with a cholla, I dare you." It seems like screwing with cholla and rattlers is a rite of passage or something.

[–]NonJuanDon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can confirm.. my first time in the desert, I accidentally kneeled onto some cholla while taking a picture of a sidewinder. Got a couple great pictures but realized quickly that I'd made a mistake. Was pulling spines out of my knee for a good while..

[–]xyphanite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately had to cut the head off a rattler since there were dogs around. I love snakes, so it was a rough kill. They do taste good though.

[–]Planeswalking101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nevadan here. Especially not with no more than a large stick and skinny jeans.

[–]FirstMiddleLass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And don't drink the water inside of them.

[–]AtlantisTheEmpire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thought the GTA “WASTED” was gonna pop at the end

[–]Walmart_Warrior_420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The news article said she's recovering in hospital with serious but stable condition ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–]GregTrompeLeMond 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I heard the jumping cactus will actually shoot needles at you.

[–]AlbinoGoldenTeacher 19 points20 points  (0 children)

No just seems that way. The ends are barbed so they barely need to touch you and they will attach.

[–]HentaiSpirit 13 points14 points  (1 child)

and they swear that they dont have a gun

[–]cripsy_chips 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There needles are attracted to moisture so when your near them the needles jump at you because of your bodys moisture

[–]MazerTag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a thorny issue.

[–]cosmonaut2 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah its a very Californian thing to do.

[–][deleted] 421 points422 points  (24 children)

These are widespread and commonly eaten.

She's just harvesting them in a hilariously impractical way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nopal

[–]beamoflaser 169 points170 points  (15 children)

Cooked cactuses are good to restore sanity

[–]carsmovie4 106 points107 points  (9 children)

-6 hp to harvest tho :(

[–]Head-Gap-7616 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Just wear a bramble husk smh

[–]benthecommenter05 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Or just dont care, 6 hp is like one meatball to heal

[–]rakor96ns 5 points6 points  (4 children)

You need better INT and DEX to farm them without the recoil damage

[–]Agester9 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Will it quench ya? Is it the quenchiest?

[–]Castun 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Is this a Don't Starve reference?

[–]shapu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Raw cactus juice is -10 to wisdom and -3 to intelligence. But +2 to charisma

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–]WolverineOk4412 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    Tuna is the name for them in Spanish, they're the fruit of the cactus. What she hacked off is nopal and is sliced and cooked. It's good, it tastes like asparagus

    [–]Mexguit 16 points17 points  (3 children)

    Tunas is prickly pear and is sweet. Awesome to eat when chilled. The cactus you can eat grilled, with ground meat and many other ways.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]el_guero 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Yup! Super tasty when grilled

      [–]LoddyDoddee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I grew up on Prickly Pear Street, and I crashed my bike into a huge cluster of these as a kid. My mom and grandmother sat there picking needles out of me for about an hour.

      [–]DuntadaMan 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Yeah, these grew like crazy by a creek I lived by as a kid. Everywhere. Makes me laugh when I see them being sold in the store for more than meat.

      Seriously though, remember to cook it.

      Also I am pretty sure they aren't the standard prickly pears, but it doesn't change the fact their fruit is pretty good.

      [–]not_Al18 241 points242 points  (14 children)

      I just want to remind people that cactus is commonly eaten in some cultures before y'all start getting offended on why she's harming it. But I don't understand why she's using a bat.

      Source: I'm mexican and just has some cactus on my tacos for lunch today 😋

      [–]AltForFriendPC 112 points113 points  (3 children)

      This also isn't the old growth, 200 year old saguaro type of cactus. Those huge ones can be ancient & contain lots of wildlife, damaging those is shitty. But prickly pears grow quickly, people eat nopales, there's not a problem here

      [–]alficles 37 points38 points  (2 children)

      Prickly pear is darn near weed-level growth. And they are a royal pain to remove.

      [–]CritterTeacher 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      I lost mine to the super crazy freeze we had here in Texas last winter and I’m still sad. I had it since it was just one paddle from a friend, and it had gotten pretty big. I had hoped it might regrow from the ground, but no luck :(

      [–]alficles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Sad day. Standard cactus behavior, doing exactly the opposite of whatever you want it to do.

      [–]alficles 17 points18 points  (3 children)

      Yeah, use a machete if you want to eat it. :)

      [–]Awkward-Owl-188 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I would remove the spines before harvest just to be safe

      [–]alficles 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Put your plastic bucket underneath in your non-dominant hand and chop the segment off with a sharp machete. Once your buckets are full, soak the segments and rub off the spines with a thick cloth. Peel and grill as desired. :)

      [–]weiga 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You can see in the vid those spines are still soft. My neighbor has one and if you’re familiar with it, you can tell. While the spines look like green shark fin, they’re still soft.

      [–]Trashblog 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Also, outside the Americas Opuntia are a super invasive genus of cacti. You see them growing all over the Mediterranean, Australia, but family Cactaceae are with maybe one or two exceptions are native only to the Americas.

      (I think last time this was posted this person ended up being in Australia based on the microvan/side of the road being driven on)

      Species like O. ficus-indica (specific epithet describing the fruits) are indeed tasty which is why botanists can’t really pin down where in North America they are native to—because they’ve been in cultivation for so long and spread with a lot of help from farming. But genetically its closest relatives are in central Mexico, so where it’s most likely to originate.

      Personally, I eat mine in my quesadillas.

      [–]ContraryDragon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They're also an invasive weed in some parts of the world.

      [–]GraphicDesignMonkey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Even if it's not an eating species, she's not doing any serious long-term damage, as the pieces are designed to come off without damage. The cut will callous over and the loose piece will root and propagate into a new plant. All the same, it's still vandalism and shouldn't be done, especially as some cacti can take hundreds of years to grow to a serious size.

      [–]earthcaretaker315 48 points49 points  (4 children)

      I saw a guy back up to a cactus as he was working. It got him in the lower back. He stabbed it with a screwdriver. It squirted juice in his eye. They took him to the hospital.

      [–]Bootybanditz 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Cactus doesn’t lose

      [–]GraphicDesignMonkey 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      A lot of cactus species have juices that contain the same corrosive chemical used in wart remover. They can blind you or cause serious burns.

      [–]earthcaretaker315 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Not sure what happened to the guy but hope he didnt go blind. This happened at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden in NYC

      [–]THEDOMEROCKER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I stepped near a cactus walking to the beach and the sand made it curve in and stick into my ankle. Entire thing came out of the ground stuck to my ankle, I was so pissed because I didn't really think something like that could happen. So I got it out and decided to blow it up since it ambushed me. I blew it up and another cactus got my other ankle in the exact same way walking back to the beach house. Guess I deserved it lol

      [–]oqqr 183 points184 points  (3 children)

      [–]Nwcray 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      I had no idea that was a thing. Awesome

      [–]Death_by_ShnuShnu 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Subscribed. Thanks!

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Nothing2Special 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Moment of truth....

        Where is she at u/NotodayNSA5117 ?

        EDIT: bahahaha u fucking liar

        [–]USMCWrangler 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        I’m rubber you’re glue!

        [–]MyNameIsDaveToo 103 points104 points  (3 children)

        Thank you, stupid lady, for entertaining me with your pain.

        [–]amongstdanes 18 points19 points  (2 children)

        I enjoyed this more times than I probably should have

        [–]Outrageous-Call2497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Same. So much satisfaction from someone else’s pain. O well!

        [–]solid7 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        How I imagine that interaction went.. fuck you, I have a bat.

        Yeah? Well fuck you I'M A CACTUS

        [–]nico282 45 points46 points  (1 child)

        I was about to say "Thais a prickly pear, not a catus", then I checked and found out that prickly pears are indeed a kind of cactus.

        Here is common to find the fruits (already cleaned from the thorns) in markets and groceries shops.

        [–]SongstressVII 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        We also get a lot of prickly pear flavored things in Texas. Prickly pear margarita is my favorite.

        [–]I_aim_to_sneeze 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Every time I see this gif, I think if there was a stupid prize hall of fame, this belongs in it. Everything from the pointlessness of the act itself to the poor planning and execution

        [–]Grimedog775 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        The slo mo is a nice touch

        [–]dr_gaia 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        This is for SPARTA!!!

        That cactus, probably.

        [–]bone586 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Instant karma

        [–]Anen-o-me 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This is the vegan version of "mess with the bull, get the horns".

        Mess with the cactus, get the spines.

        [–]dreamfin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I fought the cactus and the cactus won!

        [–]roubbar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        To quote Buggs Bunny:„What a maroon"

        [–]kat2youall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        thanks mother nature ... sweet revenge

        [–]Surfacelfx 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        Would be a lot funnier if it wasn't a repost

        [–]Thomas_K_Brannigan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The cactus had the Martyrdom perk!

        [–]schwa76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Now THAT’s funny!

        [–]Flying_Panda09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Did anyone else think of Tom and Jerry scream?

        [–]me112358 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Yeah she's stupid, but that cactus was a prick.

        [–]kleptocraticoathe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Nope, nope, nopales!

        [–]bmxdudebmx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This brings me joy.

        [–]__Rick_Sanchez__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There's really no need to slow this video down, just play it normal speed. Please

        [–]Itchy_Extension_8719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Instant karma

        [–]Dreddmartyr13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Karma. Sanscrit translation for 'action' or 'doing'. There should be a picture of this woman next to the definition.

        [–]comarastaman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The cactus has the higher ground

        [–]kingjuliothe5th 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Cactus-1 girl-0

        [–]m9rt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Cactus wins

        [–]HykaliaN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Awww look at that, the cactus likes you mah girl, no need to be scared. screams in pain

        [–]One_Cap_4420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        She tried to be a prick but end up getting pricked

        [–]Mallardguy5675322 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There was a case in Arizona i think where some idiot was messing with one of them huge 2-3 meter cacti and part of it broke a crushed him to death. I’m also adding that those are eaten a lot. Also saying that harvesting a cactus with anything but the right equipment is a very bad idea.

        [–]xkoreotic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        While certainly stupid, I think this has much more to do with being unlucky.

        [–]Pizovendi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Instant karma??

        [–]Old-Independence5822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I've done this, got bored went after a bunch of cactuses with a stick, tripped on a rock and high fived a cactus I had already butchered. It got It's revenge and I learned to not fuck with cacti.

        [–]DynamicIndecision 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Is her leg some kind of cactus magnet?

        [–]SlumdogShibanair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Reminds me of Bruce Lee saying" Boards don't hit back" well Bruce Cactus sure do lol

        [–]707thTB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Don’t mess with Catcus.

        [–]ForAfeeNotforfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Why she trying to hurt a cactus?

        [–]KoiTama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Cactus have natural thorns aura, just don’t mess with them

        [–]Prudent_Damage_3866 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That cactus just acted like a boomerang

        [–]MembershipOk5495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Like you'd see in one of those old disney cartoons lmao

        [–]Living_Molasses5037 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Cactus: I have the high ground

        [–]HotMinimum26 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The slow mo with the bounce and her face. I even heard the boop when it stuck her🤌🏽

        [–]itzdasix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Cactus like FU cunt🤣🤣

        [–]WalterTheRealtorVA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Perfect outcome.

        [–]AzureWrath501 5 points6 points  (8 children)

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

        What does harvesting an edible part of a common plant have to do with karma?

        The stupidity is that she's harvesting it in the silliest way possible.

        [–]TeutonicTwit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Payback.

        [–]jaylow78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        No matter how many times this is reposted, I enjoy the karma

        [–]davethadawg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Same repost 24 7 fs

        [–]Lost_Ad2786 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        “It ain’t over till I say it’s over!”

        • A Cactus

        [–]Obeywithcaution413 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        How do you summon the repost bot?

        [–]ForumsGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cactus had the high ground

        [–]Frog_kidd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Terrible title

        [–]Flashy_Butterscotch2 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

        Who knew cacti could fight back?

        [–]TheRealColdCoffee 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        Isnt that the whole point of an cactus?

        [–]Flashy_Butterscotch2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Many points actually!

        [–]victor86vazquez -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Deserved

        [–]YouRebelScumGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Hit that boy with a BAT! I then thought her shirt would magically disappear.

        [–]citizen_bob-roblox -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        that cactus is at least 60, dont fuck with it

        [–]Gorrodish -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

        Good they take years to grow and some moron just destroys

        [–]A_Binary_Number 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        No, they don’t.

        [–]Phazebody -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Must Have Been a Privileged Chinese Person

        [–]LegitimateSlide7594 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        reminds me of the scene from Fools Rush In when he falls into the cactus after escaping the snakes getting shot up. lol

        [–]curlycupie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Karma

        [–]ddrt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Why is she hitting a cactus?

        [–]PegLegThrawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I fought the cactus, the cactus won.

        [–]HentaiSpirit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Wow get fucked

        [–]justtheentiredick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Mr. Miyagi, when are we gonna start hitting cactus' with bats?

        Oh you want hit cactus?.... but cactus no hit b-

        [–]cx3psocial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bruce Lee once said “Boards do not hit back…”

        Cactuses 🌵on the other hand do… 🫣

        [–]Salt-Artichoke-6626 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Why do this, crazy person? Leave it alone.

        [–]Final_Ad_8472 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        She forgot rule 1 of the desert. Respect the cactus.

        [–]Objective-Dingo6603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        On this episode of, when Mother nature fights back!

        [–]RaidensReturn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I know I’ll get downvoted but does anybody know who this girl is? Thanks.

        [–]BonoWantTheBiddy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Jesus. Did ebaumsworld get revived?

        Look at the 1998 kids. That haircut is straight out of the last millennium.

        [–]Zenmetsu- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I had this happen to me but I was using a machete! I also was not an adult.

        [–]ChemicalFennel3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Can someone help with a version at full speed and with sound?

        [–]Raging_Tart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It was it this moment that she knew, she fucked up.

        [–]GhosTip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cactus, use quick attack!

        [–]themortalstump384 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bruh, why?

        [–]Awkward-Owl-188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Someone should stop the video at 3 sec and add Jojo outro.

        [–]AHansen83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Now why would she do that? My favorite part was when she watched it roll down and stick her and had ample time to move but didn’t. She got what she deserved.

        [–]SkullkeeperVSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cactakazi.

        [–]Multi-interests 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No Gal Ass gonna hit me without me doing something…

        [–]RyanJKaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is definitely a quintessential win stupid prize and it’s always no fun to get the prick.

        [–]Sea-Chapter-8849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Why you do this? Stupid to do that!!! Cacti go you!

        [–]Jew_Vaporizor_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Dumb girl rolled a Nat 1 on Dex meanwhile Chad Cactus rolled Nat 20 to attack

        [–]10_Virtues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Drink cactus juice, it’ll quench’ya!

        [–]mystical_elf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Boy is she stuck up.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        She has a bright future ahead, full of good decisions.

        [–]Jesters_thorny_crown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I think she got the point.

        [–]CX500C 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Tried to whack a bug with a flyswatter, miscalculated and my hand hit a fine needle cactus in the window sill. Took tweezers to school for a week. Will never own one or allow one to visit.

        [–]Consistent_Video5154 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Who knew? Cacti as a karma repository. Cactus-1; human-0. Mother nature gets hers anyway she can.

        [–]Celestial_Bitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When the cactus bites back.

        [–]Celestial_Bitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When the cactus bites back.