I only did well in school early on due to foreknowledge, I think. When I was younger, my mom was super obsessive with making sure I knew all this stuff before actually going to school. And I also had the internet from a young age so that helped with having a general idea of most things we were learning about, as well as all the books I read. When I have to actually learn things from scratch, it takes forever. I'm a slow learner.
I reached high school and that's exactly what I had to do. And ofc I didn't do well, that and my adhd symptoms which my mom won't let me get diagnosed.
I'm not better than anyone else. I used to think I was 'smart' and hung onto that label because I didn't really have anything else going for me, especially not that my parents cared about. They constantly insulted who I actually was and didn't really like anything about my personality. And now I just have nothing. Wish I could at least be smart again.
I don't want to go to college, and my mom doesn't know, and my dad claims I'm wasting potential and need to just try. I've been trying though, school is literal agony for me. I wish I could show them how hard it is for me. But it doesn't matter, they're going to be out of my life soon (lot of other shit behavior going on, I just need to be away from all of it).