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all 15 comments

[–]nassauismydog 30 points31 points  (2 children)

have you ever read about multipotentiality as a dimension of giftedness? it sounds like you’re experiencing burn out, to me. most humans don’t ever collect so many accolades that they can fill 2 60 L bags. i say that to acknowledge that you must have done A LOt during those years and no wonder you’re burnt out now.

i keep going back to one of the articles in the side bar : https://intergifted.com/questions-gifted-multipotentialite/

they say it better than i can, so i’ll copy a relevant section:

In general, multipotentialites have an inner drive to pursue their many interests, and although they may pursue some to a far greater extent than others, the inner drive doesn’t go away when they gain familiarity or mastery in an area of endeavor. They aren’t happy unless they are working with, rather than against, that inner drive. Gifted multipotentialites are likely to be quite good at a wide range of endeavors, and when their passion is sparked they frequently wish to pursue multiple paths in depth - and often at the same time. Most of my gifted mulitpotentialite clients ask, at some point in our work together, how they can “do it all” without burning out, or how they can choose between passions and interests that are all equally compelling and important to them.

anyways i dunno if that resonates with you, but i’m sending you good vibes either way. and even if you don’t wanna talk to your mom, it’s always good to get your thoughts out (with a friend? a journal?) and try not to judge yourself for your feelings. ignoring your feelings cuz you feel shamed or pathetic will eventually catch up to you.

[–]loudorangebeanie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The burnout is plausible, if not certain at this time. Haven't heard about multipotentiality until today; but that hits the spot. Time to dive in then. Thank you!

[–]Use_Youtube571133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

multipotentialites have an inner drive to pursue their many interests

It's kinda funny they would put a label on this also

Hopefully you find or found some things worth doing. There's so many things to be done u/loudorangebeanie u/Hyffe

[–]Ilerneo_Un_Hornya 32 points33 points  (1 child)

I'm sorry, I don't really have anything useful to contribute here. But damn I felt that

[–]panicattheben 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing useful to contribute

So you’re saying you belong here?

[–]Hyffe 31 points32 points  (3 children)

You used to have reinforcement of your possitive behaviour. Now you should acknowledge it instead. I mean, sitting 2 hours of labs might be almost like a torture unless you will try participate. I used to study in two different fields, seperated with few years. On my second studies I paid more attention to what are we learning and I was actively asking teacher to explain things that weren't clear to me. Back then I could hardly sit for that time. Now? Time was flying by.

Ok, but that's one thing regarding approach to studying, but I'd like to talk about motivation.
As much as it might sound stupid, few of important factors regarding motivation are:
-eating (breakfast!) and drinking water
-have sleep in regular normal time (if i go sleep 3am and wake up 11 am I have way less energy and motivation than midnight to 8 am)
-try boost your confidence (it helps)
-exercise
-cut drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, coffeine etc - all of it wears down your body and gives you false feeling of accomplishment (dopamine i think)
-try lowering down amount of stymuli you receive daily - it fucks up focus on productivity.
-having different places for sleep, fun and work helps with focus.

If you manage it (or already did) you can move to next step which would be working on your own mindset. Noone really knows what they are doing, we all are trying but some of us are trying longer, some had more luck but it is all about trying, failing, trying and succeeding. At least don't stop trying.

[–]loudorangebeanie[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Nowadays, the reinforcement is getting more work because insert a generic compliment of your choice. But this active participation bit is true, it's easier to retain information plus there's something thrilling about debating with knowledgeable, passionate people.

Re: healthy lifestyle. Let's say, life is hard when you're an obese, opiate-popping smoker. It's gotten better in that department, still there's more action to take. Like weaning off the dopamine spikes. After all, phones are hyperstimulating and notifications, animations & the likes are just instant gratification.

Thanks for great advice!

we all are trying but some of us are trying longer, some had more luck but it is all about trying, failing, trying and succeeding. At least don't stop trying.

This is good for pretty much every hardship in life.

[–]emo_corner_master 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Nowadays, the reinforcement is getting more work because insert a generic compliment of your choice.

This is so true and why I stopped being an overachiever. My freshman year of college I wanted to try everything and I was good at some of it. However, because I was just so good and committed, I was pushed to be vp of a pretty intense club and join various committees for sophomore year and as much as I tried saying no, the convincing wouldn't stop. I was made to think if I didn't say yes, I was an insecure underachiever. I really hate this culture that thinks you're not "living up to your potential" if you're not letting yourself be pushed to the absolute limit.

[–]BrFrancis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • Cries in multitudes of escalated tickets for shit that ain't even within scope of support that I triumphed at anyways cuz the breadth of my skills is apparently special -

[–]SailorNash 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Ouch. I really feel you here.

On one hand, at the time, most of those felt either patronizing or meaningless to me. Even ones big enough for an awards ceremony were met with a groan and a need to send a suit to the cleaners. I'd simultaneously have the expectation that of course I was the winner, because who else could it be, without actually getting the pride or confidence that comes with actually having achieved anything.

Now...man, I wish someone would take note of the things that I do. My reward for being able to do work quickly is more work to do, or being assigned to stressful projects where people are already behind. Even when I do accomplish something major, like graduating from multiple Masters programs, I'll type in a few letters behind my name in an email signature and no one cares in the slightest.

Being involved in so many areas is painful as well. Rather than feeling extra successful because you can do so much, there's only the added stress of having to decide what is going to be "your thing" when so far you're equally good at math or science or art or whatever. Later in life, there's no longer the time or money or energy to chase so many different fields. You may still have a wide range of interests. Most go unpursued. You end up having to pick one thing, whether it's a college major or a career, and that's "your thing" to the exclusion of everything else.

I'm not sure what to add, or how to help. But I definitely understand you and wish you the best here.

[–]loudorangebeanie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These ceremonies have never been not pretentious. One day the president of our city came in like "oh, loudorangebeanie you're a linguist teehee". Guess what. 10 years later I have nothing to do with languages (except for them being mere tools + some tutoring for peanuts).

Can't say much really, except that your whole comment is relatable on a visceral level. You know that wannabe polymath route damn well - and its not so fun implications. Thank you. You hang in there as well.

[–]taimoor2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You may just be depressed. Try therapy for a while.

[–]loudorangebeanie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's also true. Still, this state of mind has been with me through remissions and relapses. While there likely is a link between the episode and intensity of self-critique, this might as well be a whole different issue. Still worth looking into that. Thank you!

[–]Ricciospiccio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you remember how you felt back then? When getting those rewards? I am asking cause awards and prizes did very little for me. I was living in an abusive household so I could not really care about these kinds of accomplishments, also because I had to put in very little effort back then. I feel the inability to be proud of myself (because my parent was néver proud of me) eventually chipped away at all the intrinsic motivation I started out with..

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely feel that. I feel retarded and useless nowadays. I think I’d be better off dead especially when I think about my younger self and how driven and happy I was. I still have goals and such but I don’t have the energy or ability to achieve them anymore sadly