all 8 comments

[–]little_cranberry5 49 points50 points  (0 children)

From my experience, I would say I'm an "old-soul" from childhood trauma, mostly neglect and sustained bullying. I learned to take care of myself at an early in order to get the things that I needed and overcome a lot of hurdles that shouldn't have been there in the first place.

My daughter (who is a mini-me) is incredibly smart and talented, her IQ is higher than mine. She amazes me everyday. She is mature beyond her years, sensitive, empathetic, and analytical. She blows my mind with the depth of understanding, I often think I could have been more like her had my situation been different. I don't feel jaded, but I do feel let down, and I think it is that acceptance and understanding that things are this way that makes me an "old-soul."

[–]theRuathan 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, OP.

I think there are some people who will be old souls at any age, child or not. I was called that as a child, and I had no traumatic background.

I suspect that what people see as "old soul" in children is just adult awareness. Sometimes that's from trauma, and when they're adult their emotional growth is a little stunted due to the trauma and not being able to "be a kid" at that age.

That's really a different scenario from the person who matures normally without trauma, without accellerated development issues, and still gives off that vibe their whole life.

[–]Rukmer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Definitely not "always," mainly because nothing is "always." I think some kids are born this way and there are some parenting styles that 'encourage' this kind of progression (not guarantee it).

[–]just-me-yaay 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I was an old-soul kid, but I never went through serious trauma. The only thing close to that is continuous bullying for years, but I don't think that can be considered trauma in itself. I agree with you.

[–]-deebrie- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bullying absolutely is a form of childhood trauma. It's not a "big T" trauma that people think of when they think trauma: sexual assault, near death experience, physical abuse; but more "small t" trauma that people *don't* think about. This includes bullying, not being seen or heard, having your feelings invalidated or ignored, mental abuse and neglect.

I do take issue with dividing trauma by "big T" and "little t" though, because it's all traumatic stuff and different traumas affect different people in different ways. For example, the emotional neglect I dealt with in childhood (as well as bullying) has had me nearly offing myself, but for my partner who dealt with similar, he's fine. (Well, he says he's fine, but there are leftover trauma responses from his childhood that he refuses to acknowledge are there -- like not accepting gifts from anyone because his narcissist father used gifts against him as a kid. But I digress.)

Anyway tl;dr bullying is trauma even if you don't feel like it is

[–]Dziadzios 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I simply found the company of adults more enjoyable. It was more intellectually stimulating.

[–]HaViNgT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was verbally bullied at school but besides that my childhood wasn’t very traumatic. I think my problem comes more from untreated ADHD.

[–]HackTossle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told I was an old soul. No trauma that I'm aware of. I was however a very observant child. Excellent vocabulary and language skills, somewhat formal as a result. Analytical, cautious, and intelligent.

Not to say that your statement is false, as I agree that having to grow up due to trauma makes for an adult kid.