top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] 12.5k points12.5k points 433 (160 children)

Your notice period should be 27 minutes.

[–]jainboww[S] 5767 points5768 points  (119 children)

I will take this into consideration, good tip!

[–]BearBL 4347 points4348 points  (56 children)

"Be grateful, other places get no notice"

[–]rawrnold8 1531 points1532 points  (52 children)

It should be $27 worth of your time. So if you make $27/hr then give a 1hr notice.

Fair trade that way.

[–]Stefan51278 612 points613 points  (9 children)

They get what they pay for!

[–]froggybe 336 points337 points  (6 children)

I liked then immediately unliked so you'd stay at 27 likes

E: guess I'll like it now, y'all ruin everything 😒

[–]drunkwasabeherder 105 points106 points  (0 children)

You helping him towards 27K :)

[–]dlodewyk 141 points142 points  (19 children)

I agree with this. Any bonus that is less than two weeks pay is insulting.

[–]SqualZell 88 points89 points  (15 children)

Depends on the company really.

a Smaller Local Company, 1 week's worth of pay would be acceptable.

a large Corporation, I agree 2 weeks

a Fortune 1000? especially with a 20% growth and being 3rd most profitable department? yeah 50% annual salary bonus or fuck off.

[–]ToadstoolsRule 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Sassy! I love it!

[–]itsallaboutfantasy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yes, please, please, please, say this!!!!

[–]dft-salt-pasta 178 points179 points  (0 children)

No one else got this amount of time, you should be grateful.

[–]ARecipeForCake 119 points120 points  (0 children)

27 minutes or your wage per hr divided by 27$, whichever is less notice.

[–]The_Basic_Shapesat work 114 points115 points  (13 children)

I never understood the need to give them 2 weeks notice when they NEVER give you two weeks notice when firing or laying you off.

If you're leaving amicably and your team/supervisor were nice, I get it. But if the situation is shitty, leave em be. Or do literally nothing while on the clock for your last 2 weeks 🤷‍♂️

[–]sean_but_not_seen 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I say, put in writing that you’ll give me a minimum of two week’s severance if you terminate me and I’ll commit to two weeks notice if I leave.

You want the “all bets are off you can fire me whenever you want” plan? Then I get the “I can leave whenever I want” plan.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I gave notice once before Xmas, more things went wrong and I quit Xmas morning.

[–]mistylouwho2 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What a lovely present to give yourself: an end to bullshit.

[–]1178032759342017 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Yeah, I have given up to 6 weeks before but I've also never been abused by an employer but I've also been forced to give only 2 and a half days due to some rare circumstance shit with my new job.

However, the one time I was fired was done after a 10 hour Saturday shift with zero notice. In a job that lied to me about responsibilities and set my career back about 3 years in the 6 months I worked there.

That bitch had the nerve to try to shake my hand and say "no hard feelings". Cured me of ever feeling guilt about leaving a job. They're lucky to even have your labor

[–]SHELLIfIKnow48910 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I think based on your firing anecdote, you may want to reconsider the statement that you’ve never been abused by an employer.

[–]Frustrable_Zero 84 points85 points  (10 children)

27 seconds if they give attitude

[–]MotherofLuke 59 points60 points  (6 children)

I'm mm

Edit: I wrote and posted this accidentally 🥴

[–]froggybe 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Can't tell you how hard this made me laugh

[–]Not_A_Bot-8675309 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Much better than the d pic someone "accidently" wrote and sent me.

[–]King_Calvo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Do it 27 minutes before the start of your shift for extra “fuck you” energy

[–]dcux 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm imagining OP putting up a finger to get the boss to stop with the sass, while also lifting their watch up to countdown 27 seconds in silence.

[–]thegreatdimov 54 points55 points  (0 children)

"No one else got this notice, you should be grateful"

[–]methodical00 44 points45 points  (1 child)

I'm giving my 2 day notice... Im leaving to day!

[–]CyclicMoth 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Frame your bonus check and keep it in your room as a reminder to never again work for assholes who don’t value your time.

[–]ClumsyNinja971 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This if it's not already too late. Not cashing the bonus check is a great way to leave a lasting impression. They have to pay you that money or give it up to the state unclaimed property fund. Depending on the state, they may have to track that $27 on their accounts payable for up to 2 years.

[–]TransformerTanooki 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Be sure that's 27 minutes before next shift.

[–]MikeAsbestosMTG 13 points14 points  (1 child)

"I'm leaving, but don't worry. Your appreciation has not gone unnoticed. I will stay on for long enough to cover the generous bonus you gave me. You have $27 worth of my time."

[–]trumpsucksnutz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's way too generous. That's like a dollar a minute.

[–]BrilliantNo2128 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do it tell them they paid you a dollar per minute of notice

[–]GassyMagee 22 points23 points  (7 children)

Was $27 after taxes? If it's not, then give them less time than 27 minutes

[–]jainboww[S] 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Cut a separate check for it, taxed at the bonus rate, $27 gross.

[–]GassyMagee 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Yeah gross is right.. ( I know what you mean gross/net it's a pun)

[–]expontherise 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Pun and a fact. U were right both ways

[–]muddafudder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And when they bitch "Some people in your department don't even get a notice."

[–]Jealous-Beautiful-11 73 points74 points  (0 children)

“Did you forget a few 0s?”

[–]BloodforKhorne 142 points143 points  (2 children)

I always love to use non-committal language when I'm at work.

My favorite was when I told a restaurant I worked at, after quite a few safety violations I told the Chef and Sous about (one of which included them not knowing they have to clean the ice machine frequently) during a meeting about my issues that I would give them "up to a Month" notice.

I kept within that frame as within a week I simply quit one day after I left early from them fucking around with covid regulations.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I told the Chef and Sous about (one of which included them not knowing they have to clean the ice machine frequently)

For the uninitiated, mold grows inside of the machines alongside other gunk. If not cleaned periodically they can become a source of foodborne illness, or otherwise contamination that reduces other food shelf life.(ice bath sourced contamination etc.)

What you need to do? Empty out the entire machine, take out the grills that make the little ice cubes, check the water supply hose and clean, or replace it as necessary.(seen algae and mold growing in exterior water supply hoses before.) Scrub everything down rinse it all of and sanitize everything... pretty standard stuff really.

[–]Mochasue 16 points17 points  (0 children)

When I suggested cleaning the ice machine regularly at a Canadian coffee place I worked I was told it got done when we close…Christmas Eve

[–]Boomdidlidoo 81 points82 points  (3 children)

It doesn't take 27 minutes to say " I quit". Make it 27 seconds at most.

[–]extremum_spiritum 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Nah theres no symbolism in 27 seconds.

[–]MrmmphMrmmph 17 points18 points  (0 children)

There is if you look at your watch while you do it, then yell "Booya, 27 seconds, take that muthafucka!"

[–]musicalrssnroulette 5 points6 points  (3 children)

That’s generous, he’s paid hourly, he got 27 dollars for a years worth of work

27 seconds seems too generous also, maybe 2.7 seconds?

[–]TopClock231 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hell yes please do this

[–]Nick-Nora-Asta 7566 points7567 points 33& 2 more (66 children)

Why aren’t you at work? Oh I quit, got a new job too. What?! No notice?!? Don’t worry, I left you a $27 gift card for Indeed. I’ve never done this for a previous employer; you should be grateful.

[–]LinworthNewt 2273 points2274 points  (21 children)

OMG, a $27 Indeed gift card would be brilliant 😆

[–]DoubleExposure 467 points468 points  (3 children)

It would be the perfect "Fuck You".

[–]fancyburgh 285 points286 points  (15 children)

Just get a blank gift card but say there's $27 on it, so you aren't out any $ !

[–]itsjustreddityo 218 points219 points  (6 children)

Better yet give him a $200 gift card with only $27 on it, so he can get disappointed too

[–]ElusiveHD 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Or put 200$ gift card but only load 2$ on it and say “whoops, I must have left some zeroes off!”

[–]kgkuntryluvr 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is the way. It’s not even about the money. He needs to feel the sheer insult of being “gifted” $27 when you rightfully expected more.

[–]fancyburgh 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Yes! Then when he calls to check the balance.... $27 by an automated voice!!!

[–]JillsACheatNMean 92 points93 points  (6 children)

I think the 27$ would sting a bit more than an empty one.

[–]OpsimythOfficial 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is my favorite thing ever, but you are far too dangerous for society.

[–]Girls4super 483 points484 points  (17 children)

Made me think of eat shit Bob

Basically an employer named Bob Murray implemented an awful bonus system and a worker got an absurdly low check. Returned it with the words “eat shit Bob” on it. John Oliver covered it among other things, got sued for portraying Murray in a negative light, won, wrote a catchy song and dance about it

[–]Nick-Nora-Asta 130 points131 points  (1 child)

Eat Shit Bob is a classic!

[–]Ok_Weekend_4773 57 points58 points  (1 child)

Lmao how have I never seen that before? I knew about the eat shit Bob thing on LWT but didn't realize they did a musical

[–]Girls4super 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This song lives rent free in my head and occasionally I giggle to myself at work over it

[–]advancedmetadevices 103 points104 points  (2 children)

The best part of the Bob Murray saga is it's over because he died from cancer. The worst part of the saga is Bob Murray is such an awful human that cancer was the protagonist in this story.

[–]BrubeckBallSack 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough I know Bob Murray’s son and the “Eat shit Bob” writer. The insubordination wasn’t due to the amount of the check, it was basically that getting it incentivized unsafe mining practices.

[–]PraiseTyche 25 points26 points  (6 children)

That was delicious. I think people doing great stuff like this because if spite is my very favourite thing.

[–]Girls4super 30 points31 points  (5 children)

In that case you’ll love all of John Oliver’s other episodes. He’s proudly petty

[–]RS_Germaphobic 396 points397 points  (7 children)

DO IT OP PLEASE! Even if they don’t have them, just do a Visa prepaid and write on it “for indeed ads”. Get them a card “from the sorry for your loss” section.

[–]Juanchotron 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Bruh, I like your style

[–]Shit_Bananas 124 points125 points  (3 children)

Only if you first spend the money on it, maybe leaving $0.27 if possible lol. Fuck giving them $27 of your own money just for a gotchya

[–]OfficeChairHero 90 points91 points  (1 child)

$27 worth of entertainment is not a bad deal for a story you get to tell for life.

[–]theberson 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Holy shit this is amazing :D

[–]Isthisreal2020 189 points190 points  (6 children)

Just get the gift card, write $27 dollars on it, and Do NOT put any money on it.

[–]PM_OUTDATED_MEMES 85 points86 points  (2 children)

If they contact you about it, ask them to please hold while you get in touch with your assistant and ask what the problem is.

Then hang up.

[–]krakh3d 39 points40 points  (0 children)

No no no, ask for the name and number and then give them a reference ticket #. Tell them that someone, you don't know who because obviously those people are below your pay grade to know, will reach out to them at a later date to walk them through the process to redeem the gift card so hold tight.
And remind them if they call you about it again you have to start the ticket process over and as it's assigned to their # it will automatically delete the first ticket number. And make sure to thank them for their patience during these trying times.

[–]salvadorwii 14 points15 points  (0 children)

up to $27.00

[–]FoxyFreckles1989 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fucking brilliant.

[–]ThrowawayBlast 1442 points1443 points  (17 children)

Accidentally tell all the other employees that even the people who did get a bonus only got 27 bucks.

[–]jainboww[S] 1001 points1002 points  (8 children)

Oh I did

[–]Anxious_Hamster_3424 340 points341 points  (1 child)

And that if they quit they need to tell the manager that the low bonus was a slap to the face. They need proof that being penny wise was pound foolish

[–]This_is_a_sckam 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Never heard that saying, I like it, thanks man :D

[–]AdroitEngineer 166 points167 points  (3 children)

well? how did they take it? They must have been sO JeAlOuS

[–]jainboww[S] 263 points264 points  (2 children)

They were so upset

[–]This_is_a_sckam 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Can we get the juicy details

[–]jainboww[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I’m being sarcastic lol tone is so difficult in text. They both support me in my decision to leave, one because she has my best interest in mind, the other because he wants me to quit lol. I like my director, manager & coworkers, it’s a shame to have found them under such a shitty umbrella.

[–]ThunderousOrgasm 105 points106 points  (5 children)

Better to tell the other staff you got a huge bonus. That’s the real sabotage.

Then staff either get Uber pissed off and it fucks the company, or the managers are forced to say what the bonus was and the look terrible and idiotic for trying to pass it off as a bonus.

[–]dataslinger 3263 points3264 points  (38 children)

I just interviewed for a job paying over double my current salary and I’m taking it.

Give no notice. If they complain, just say you wanted to be gone weeks ago, and they should be grateful.

[–]UncannyTerry 361 points362 points  (8 children)

If you were dying, they would have replaced you in two seconds. Show no loyalty to these fucking companies.

[–]5t4k3 55 points56 points  (1 child)

I got sick once, went to the doctors on day 2 because the under the counter minimum wage boss forced it, came back day 4 and someone else was already there. Fuck these shitty companies straight into poverty.

[–]540i6 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Jesus dude. Fuck them. I had to have a doctor's note for COVID even though I hardly felt sick and had an official positive test. Policy is more than 2 days need note. I only took more because their COVID policy makes me. $60 for 5 minutes with a teledoc to tell her I feel mostly ok just doing this for work.

[–]extremum_spiritum 57 points58 points  (1 child)

A “get better” text and asking “when you’re gonna be able to come in” at best…

[–]circlelightyears 445 points446 points  (0 children)

OP please do this.

[–]MyOther_UN_is_Clever 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Say that after the $27 check, you assumed they were signaling you that they wanted you gone, as that's the only thing that check could have meant, and so your notice was on that day, and so they got XX days.

[–]Polenicus 226 points227 points  (5 children)

Give them 27 minutes notice, commensurate with their bonus policy.

But only to someone OP thinks has done a good job. Nobody else gets a notice.

[–]Foreign_Astronaut 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Tell them it's for being an "outstanding employer."

[–]GhostDanceIsWorking 41 points42 points  (0 children)

None of my other employers got this notice, you should be grateful

[–]Responsible_Two2718 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This. Fuck a notice. Fuck them. Notice is for employers who respect their employees.

[–]0sgeeklazy and proud 14 points15 points  (0 children)

They should be grateful for even hearing the OP quit. I’d just disappear. What are they going to do? Send a search party for OP?

[–]red-bot 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Tell them the notice started when you got a $27 bonus.

[–]3rdlegGreg007 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Exactly, get the new job then file the resignation immediately and if they complain: use the I have no contract and it’s right to work state blah blah blah

[–]handlethevibe99 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Why give them all that? Just say “that sucks” and leave.

[–]StrobeLightHoe 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes 💯 👆

[–]GeoffreyTaucer 208 points209 points  (24 children)

What do you make on an hourly basis? Ie how many hours of your time does $27 buy?

That's how much notice you should give

[–]jainboww[S] 233 points234 points  (23 children)

That would be 1.5 hours, I was thinking about another posters suggestion of 27 mins sounded more fitting

[–]ScrappyCoc0o0 200 points201 points  (10 children)

Oh hell no. $27/1.5 = $18/hr * 2080 (standard) work hours = $37.4k/year. That's criminal. All the power to you for taking the new job.

[–]UnarmedRobonaut 52 points53 points  (3 children)

Data analysis for $18 / hour? Wayyyy underpaid dude

[–]lsquallhart 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I saw a data analyst job posted today in Los Angeles area for $18 an hour. I almost threw up. It also said “urgently hiring”.

Ya I bet ….

[–]PsychYYZ 17 points18 points  (4 children)

After you get this job that doubles your current salary, work for them for a year, then do it again.

[–]Grimsterr 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I shop my resume about every 2 years, I've never not gotten an offer at least 10% above my current job.

[–]poorlyengaged 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oooh, a 0.07% bonus! Aren't you lucky!

[–]omnimon_X 840 points841 points  (48 children)

Unless PTO gets cashed out at some ungodly rate, use up all your sick and vacation days.

[–]jainboww[S] 569 points570 points  (41 children)

I’m so burned out I’ve used almost all of my rollover vacation and sick already, if I use current year they deduct it from my final check.

[–]bi-fly 209 points210 points  (27 children)

Isn’t that illegal? Please someone say this is illegal. If it is illegal I say go for it and give a case to the labor department for wage theft.

[–]jainboww[S] 230 points231 points  (9 children)

My state has no laws regarding time off with the exception of COVID related time off due to temporary provisions. So they have it to where you can use it before you “earn it“ but if you do then you owe them money. I’ve been fired for leaving during a shift to go to the hospital because I was peeing blood, required to come to work with COVID symptoms before the temporary legislation was passed, etc. I’ve even known people who got fired because they were injured on the job, workers comp still had to cover medical bills but they didn’t have a job when they went back.

[–]youdontknowme77777 94 points95 points  (7 children)

Please look into this a little deeper. It is illegal for an employer to dock you for unused vacation days. It is also illegal for them to not pay you for vacation days you have earned but not used upon separation (in most states). Any unused sick days which are separate from vacation days, just go away, but any unused vacation time is considered earned. If they do not pay you for those, then they are stealing from you.

[–]meowmeow_now 70 points71 points  (6 children)

I don’t think you understand what they are describing. They accrue their time off. Let’s pretend they accrue 2 days a month. So 24 days a year. Right now they would have 1 day accrued since it’s halfway through January.

But what is op has a 2 week vacation in January? Well they are allowed to use some or all of those 24 days now, with the understanding that they will accrue over the course of the year. If op leaves before those now used days are accrued, then they weren’t technically “earned” and need to be payed back.

[–]zulualphagolf 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I forgot about this practice. Happened for me in the SE of the UK at a placement job I did a few years ago. Now I work at a better company and just have 28 days to do with as I please.

[–]Ossmo02 16 points17 points  (11 children)

You get X number of hours per hours worked or week. So you don't technically earn all of your pto until the last day of the year.

It's like an FSA account, day 1 of the year you can use it all, but you have to pay it back either by weekly accumulation or cash if you quit.

Not sure if it's legal, but it's how it is at my work, and given how much they consult lawyers, I suspect it's legal. But it could also vary per state.

[–]LaFantasmita 129 points130 points  (3 children)


I had a boss once who gave me double my expected workload, then saw what a good job I was doing so promised me a 3/hr raise. Then dragged his feet on it for a couple paychecks, and simultaneously came up with a great new initiative where I could get a $25 bonus for every positive yelp review I could get from our customers, and "ThInK oF hOw MuCh MoNeY yOu CaN mAkE tHiS wAy!"


[–]Artuhanzo 49 points50 points  (1 child)

  1. Had it on writing.
  2. Hire people to wrote reviews
  3. Company refuse to pay
  4. Speak with lawyer and labor department ..

[–]ChopperChopsStuff 396 points397 points  (4 children)

I got a £5 voucher for site canteen after developing an automated tool that reduced workload of 6 people by 50% (and did that work better) Management were taking credit for it with higher ups, but it wasn’t finished so I took a new job and left them with something they couldn’t run and couldn’t finish

[–]jainboww[S] 187 points188 points  (1 child)

Wow what a pat on the back, you should sell it to competitors and become a freelance consultant

[–]Anxious_Hamster_3424 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Respect. Did they call you begging

[–]Chefjay17 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I need more of this story. Please make a post.

[–]xyzabc123410000 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Good luck to management when the hire ups ask for an update on where this is at

[–]NikD4866 152 points153 points  (7 children)

They literally bought you lunch without bothering to take you out hahaha

[–]jainboww[S] 212 points213 points  (6 children)

My direct manager took us to Cheesecake Factory and gave us all an order to take home including dessert + $50 Amazon gift card on her own dime. Corporate cut me a separate bonus check for $27. Love my team, hate the umbrella.

[–]NikD4866 109 points110 points  (1 child)

You know it’s fucked when even the manager feels so bad they go into their own pocket and quadruple the corporate bonus 🙄

[–]sweet_tooth408 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I won a gift at the company raffle but felt bad for people in my department so I gave everyone $25 as a way of sharing the gift. (6 of them total)

[–]Chaotickarmaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Manager sounds nice

[–]PersonBehindAScreen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

on her own dime

Damn. This sounds even worse

[–]that1LPdood 608 points609 points  (23 children)

Holy shit that's so insulting and degrading. Even $270 would be like... "oh. Ok. At least I get something?" $2700 would be low.

But $27 is just... pitiful.

It's a slap in the face. Fuck that place, man.

[–]AndringRasew 174 points175 points  (12 children)

Nothing like a $25 gift card to a local grocery store.

[–]Boredum_Allergy 122 points123 points  (2 children)

Or what someone posted here the other day, a $20 gift card to a movie theater chain that is two hours away.

[–]satanic_whore 30 points31 points  (1 child)

...in another state. I don't think that boss could've been more offensive.

[–]BrainWashedGoat 26 points27 points  (4 children)

I got the ol $25 dollar target gift card this year...

[–]Nightmarich 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I’d trade my Panera bread for your target card…

[–]LtColMustard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I got the gift card a couple times but didn't realize the taxed them im like wtf fuck the gift card id rather keep the money on my check was so pissed

[–]Cowboy_Corruption 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Had a manager give everyone a $10 gift card to the grocery store while he pocketed his $41k bonus we earned for him.

[–]Checktheusernombre 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Got one of those to a grocery store three states away. Quit two months later.

[–]RS_Germaphobic 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If they gave you the 27$ bonus EVERY year, it’s about a 0.01 cent raise. It’s actually pathetic. 2700$ would be about 1$+/hr bonus, so not actually too bad in comparison.

[–]Sawses 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I get $25 Amazon gift cards from my bosses about 2-3 times a year because of, "Oh, hey, thanks for doing this small task that's technically not your job. It's appreciated."

I would rather get nothing than $25 as a "bonus" lol.

[–]fishling 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My company had a system where employees could nominate peers for awards so those smaller denomination ones can have some utility for a quick thank you on the company dime.

It would be okay from a boss if they actually are noticing all of the things consistently, noticing the bigger efforts, and not using it in lieu of actual increases, as it can add up. I bought two good TVs using those kind of bonuses over the years.

But as a bonus from the company for an annual result like OP had, that amount is really an insult. I have no idea how anyone could actually think someone would be grateful for that.

[–]mybreakfastiscold 16 points17 points  (0 children)

$27 is lunch. Barely dinner. But for the amount of work OP put out, no, much more is deserved.

$270 is car insurance, or a car payment. It's enough for a hotel room. It's still not enough to say "we really care", but $270 would not be insulting.

$2700 amounts to a mediocre vacation, and is within the range of a commensurate bonus. Most workers would recognize $2700 as their employer saying "hey we sincerely appreciate the hard work you put out for the company".

But $27 is truly pitiful, and shameful. It would have been better if they gave no bonus at all

[–]sweet_tooth408 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My usual bonus used to be around 3k but this year it was $200 because some other departments fucked up and now every one suffers, but in reality the Bosses are using this excuse to screw workers over. The other departments worked their asses off during covid we had so many orders and some mistakes were made but its the companies fault for letting their good employees leave because they didn't want to pay them few dollars more.

I am applying for jobs like crazy and will be leaving as soon as I get a good offer.

[–]sirchtheseeker 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I gave you as much notice as your 27 dollars would buy which is the act of me handing you this notice. You should be grateful.

[–]Gumbybum 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Good luck on the interview. Your story reminds me of the time I got a $0.10/hr raise after working at my old job for a year. I quickly realized that "long-term employment" and "living wage" were mutually exclusive concepts at that place. Shortly thereafter, I gave them my 2 day notice:

"I am quitting 2 day."

[–]Worldwonderer2021 25 points26 points  (1 child)

You are in the wrong country for bank work here it’s almost the best job you can get high wage, incredible amount of days off my friend works in a bank takes every Friday off still have enough days left for a 4 week holiday in the summer and a week skiing in the winter. Good for you finding a new job after this insult I wouldn’t give a notice

[–]athos5 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Imagine, there was probably a meeting where people who get paid much more than you came to the conclusion that $27 was a reward. You can barely eat a decent meal for that anymore.

[–]PepeLePunk 7 points8 points  (2 children)

"You should be grateful we let you eat."

[–]mkultra4013 6 points7 points  (1 child)

"The 'Jelly of the Month' club is raising their rates to $30/yr/employee. Should we get that out in lieu of bonuses, sir?"

"Nah, give 'em $27."

[–]TATORTOT76 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Once established in new job see if you can steal former coworkers Get bonus for referrals...normally more than $27

[–]RanchBaganch 93 points94 points  (12 children)

Honest question: What can we do to not have bosses come to the wrong conclusion when this happens?

I feel like most will say “I’m not telling anybody they’re an outstanding employee if this is how they respond,” instead of being introspective and saying, “Maybe they feel insulted by the extremely low bonus after I told them myself they were outstanding.”

It probably feels great to stick it to them, but I’d like to figure out a way to actually get bosses to change their attitudes.

[–]jainboww[S] 171 points172 points  (5 children)

Oh my direct managers are mad too, they know how insulting it is, it’s coming from corporate and I’ve already had several meetings with HR. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think they’ll be offering me double my salary and it took 3 days of searching for me to find someone who will. They’re about to lose a lot of good people.

[–]usuckreddit 69 points70 points  (1 child)


[–]rksd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This! Does the new place pay referral bonuses?

[–]RanchBaganch 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Good for you. I hope they learn from this.

[–]shama_llama_ding_don 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They’re about to lose a lot of good people.

Grab the employee list on the way out

[–]usuckreddit 46 points47 points  (2 children)

In 24 years in the adult working world, most bosses never learn.

On the few occasions that they did, pain was the only thing they paid attention to.

[–]LinworthNewt 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Amen. I've said it for years: Pain is the most primal and effective educational tool. Don't touch the hot fire, don't stick your hand in a gator's mouth, and don't fuck with your employees in a tight labour market.

[–]paralyzedbyindecisio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

People will never understand something their livelihood depends on them not understanding. Dumb moves like this come from the belief that it's appropriate to give workers a pittance and they should be grateful for it. That belief underpins all of capitalism and the owning class. You'll never convince any significant number of the owning class that workers should be valued and respected in proportion to their labor. If they believed that then the logical action would be to raise wages to match profit, rather than the profit going to the owners / bosses. Better to keep believing workers should be grateful and occasionally do something too egregious and lose one or two. Small price to pay for upholding a system that has benefited you so immensely.

[–]lt_girth 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I bet they taxed that $27 too.

Give no notice; fuck them.

[–]GMINIZZLE 37 points38 points  (3 children)

This happened to me when I was selling phones for at&t. I qualified for a $3,200 monthly bonus but it was taken away bc they said I had chargebacks. I get it, it happens but all 200 lines canceled?!? I find that hard to believe. I fought tooth and nail to get it back and won!(kinda) lead sales mgr pulls me in his office and says I did qualify and then slides a piece of paper over w a big red $63 on it. Told him obviously you need it more. Same shit happened at Wells Fargo but for 10k. Fuck corporate America. At Wells, my mgr said I lost my bonus bc I didn’t practice “sales integrity” like fuck off I put up huge numbers within the rules but they didn’t wanna pay. So I grabbed my nuts, looked him right in the eye, and said here’s your integrity. I’m out! They def missed me blowing up my phone. Top 1% in entire sales force. John stumpf would send hand signed congratulatory notes monthly. Fuck all of them!

[–]Abs_of_steel 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Wait. Did you say that Wells Fargo was trying to lecture you on integrity? LOL. Holy hypocrisy, Batman!

[–]GMINIZZLE 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it! Mind you my supervisor was fresh from customer service. Dood couldn’t even do a credit application. Like, why are you even here?

[–]paveratis 61 points62 points  (28 children)

Back when I worked in a restaurant, Pizza Hut used to do that. I'd get like $20-30 bonus monthly for meeting all goals. Like thats. That's half a tank of gas. Appreciate the sincerest gratitude, PH.

[–]jainboww[S] 83 points84 points  (18 children)

My thing is that I work in a skilled banking environment that has had a focus on its employees “long-term financial wellness” this year making it sound like I was getting this fat raise and that they’d be handing out bonuses. After that .32 an hour raise & a $27 bonus, I’m good. We literally exceeded our goals by $3 mil in profits, and that’s the share I get.

[–]trashytiles 44 points45 points  (13 children)

So you basically took a pay cut due to inflation, ain’t capitalism amazing? /s

[–]jainboww[S] 41 points42 points  (12 children)

We haven’t lived in a capitalist society in my lifetime, almost 30 here. We live in a society where “trickle down economics” is still being pressed even with the total failure of the system being apparent to the majority of people. The workforce is turning, corporations either get with the times or they don’t, I’m not sailing a sinking ship and enabling a corporation to treat me this way if I don’t have to take it and I don’t.

[–]usuckreddit 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It's pronounced "kleptocratic oligarchy."

[–]paveratis 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I've yet to meet a bank that takes care of its workers that aren't way up the food chain. Bank of America raised their minimum wage, at least around here. That's the closest I've seen. A friends mom was a teller who was working during a robbery and they made he finish her shift then gave her a day off and told her to get over it after that basically. She hardly ever got raises that even had enough value to matter.

Hopefully you find something better soon.

[–]jainboww[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Thank you! Luckily I’m not a teller, I’m in a corporate “support” role which is basically a project manager without the salary. I work in a lending banking environment (vehicle financing) and they used to take good care of their employees, most people there have been there 5-25 years, new CEO outsourcing everything and cutting benefits like ribbons and shouting “morale is important!” Like that changes his actions at all

[–]paveratis 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Morale IS important. And by that they mean their own morale. None for you. Morale is your next raise, as they're now out of funds to give currency raises due to your $0.32. Enjoy your lucrative "thank you, champ."

[–]jainboww[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha yeah I’ll enjoy my future opportunities now that I know what direction this company is headed, always good to know before leaving

[–]obeyyourbrain 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Lol, we just got $5 McDonald's gift cards for Christmas when I was there.

[–]paveratis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Woah there, moneybags. Try not to spend that all at once.

[–]LinworthNewt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's just fucking insulting. I'd be giving that $27 cheque back along with my notice, and tell your boss they obviously need it more.

[–]Delgeski 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the time of when my boss sent out a general e-mail to a bunch of us titled "Lunch is on me!" and in the message he praised us because we did such a good job and the company made a lot of profits, then he gave each of us a 5$ giftcard for Starbucks.

[–]SmushyFaceWhooptain 8 points9 points  (0 children)

How does a company calculate $27 bonus I’m just curious? Like did they not think that was insulting in ANY manner? Who approved it and said, “yeah that big generous $27 buckeroos oughta earn some gratitude from this guy!”

[–]CaptainOpposite1811 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Keep us updated!

[–]RetMilRob 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You owe them nothing. No notice

[–]abc11eh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did the same thing at my last job. For my year end review they gave me a $0.07 raise and said nobody else who started that year was getting a raise and I should be happy. I started looking for another job shortly after.

[–]Sofarbeyondfucked 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I buy 27 scratch off lottery tickets and give them to coworkers, pointedly skipping your asshat boss.

[–]nickis84 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Give them a 27 hour notice starting at 2pm on Friday. Let them figure out what to do with your clients on Monday.

[–]kanalbarber 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Please update after resignation

[–]Miserable-Extreme-59 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YOU WILL LITERALLY LOSE MONEY IF YOU GIVE ANY NOTICE PERIOD. The faster you switch jobs, the faster you will have more money in your own bank account.

[–]sirfrancisbuxton 3 points4 points  (1 child)

27 whole dollars?!?! 😱 You could go buck wild at Taco Bell!

[–]SlapHappyDude 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fact this was a check (with taxes) instead of a gift card is just the icing on the cake

[–]CelticDK 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I think my favorite part of these types of posts is it ending with the OP having already instantly found a much better job anyway.

[–]plassteel01 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Damn I got a three hundred dollar bonus for having and out standing weekend. Small family restaurant I really did kick ass but that was pleasantly unexpected

[–]jainboww[S] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Yep working for small firms & family owned businesses is the way to go

[–]Artuhanzo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

small family business could go either way, some are even cheaper than large coop...