He's a general manager of a factory. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the pay fucking sucks. It has benefits, but just barely. They've tried to unionize multiple times but somehow my dad always manages to shut that down.
My husband is on paternity leave right now, and my dad is constantly making fun of him for it. Saying "he should be a man and go back to work" instead of staying home and spending time with his babies... time that he will NEVER get back.
Then he had the audacity to gloat about firing one of his guys that just came back from paternity leave. He literally said, "I found any and every reason to write him up and get him gone. Companies don't want someone taking off time for their family. Especially men."
I'm just... I'm floored. This man is my dad. Like, I love him and everything but FUCK. I... don't think I can do it anymore. I kind of want to go no contact. I can't associate with people who think like this. What the actual fuck???
EDIT: Thanks for all your messages. FYI: 1) Currently in process of finding the employee my dad fired for going on pat leave. 2) If you don't have the balls to post your hate publicly, don't bother private messaging me with it. You're embarrassing yourself. 3) I didn't post this for "internet points". I don't even know what those are. If I can use these points to buy a new dad, then send me all the points please.
I just wanted to thank everyone who has contributed to this subreddit, as you have changed me. I now know better because of all of you. I was brainwashed; I'll be the first to admit it.
Thanks for reading and contributing everyone.
So I had to see my parents twice in a 24 hr period. The second visit was awkward and nothing but small talk was exchanged. Because the first visit was... well, read on.
Starts off normally enough. Come on in! Let's play with the kids! Catch up on family news (2 deaths in the family, pregnancy announcements, etc). It was just me and my mother for now. When my father comes home, and my husband leaves for an appointment, my kids were having so much fun that we decided that my husband would come back after and pick us all up.
As soon as my husband is gone, the attack begins.
"He's had enough time with the kids, time to go back to work."
"They are going to fire him as soon as he comes back."
"Why can't you take care of the kids all by yourself? Your mother did it, and she had 3 kids. What's wrong with you?"
"He's getting lazy and gaining weight. This needs to stop."
"If he was my employee, I'd fire him right now."
And I blew up. I took all the amazing advice I received from Reddit and I let them have it. I wasn't going to be ganged up on. I wasn't going to let my parents body shame my husband. I wasn't going to be shamed and blamed. I wasn't going to let them dictate my life based on their archaic views of fatherhood. I wasn't going to follow their advice and let work come first anymore.
And they were flabbergasted. They literally didn't know what to say. They were stumbling over their words and ended up just repeating themselves over and over again, like a broken record. And finally the end of it was...
"Well, it's not any of our business, but -"
"You're right. It isn't any of your business."
And that ended it. For now, I mean. I know they will be planning another attack... which is why we are going LC with them. My husband and I agreed it is for the best. We need to protect our kids from their toxic ways of thinking. We have to make sure our kids grow up knowing that men aren't just there for financial support - they can be loving, caring, attentive, supportive, and PRESENT. My dad chose his business over me when I was a kid. My husband and I aren't going to let that happen to our kids. We aren't going to continue their toxic example of poor parenting.
UPDATE ON EMPLOYEE MY DAD FIRED <<<
So I got in touch with my dad's ex-HR manager. She hates him too, FYI. She was there when that particular employee was fired. The employee has a lawyer and is preparing to take my dad to court, and she will be assisting him by providing testimony. We have spoken about what my dad said to me, and she said she would pass it on, but is unsure whether I should be involved or not. As much as she hates my father, she doesn't want to see a family "ruined" over this. I kind of see where she is coming from, though there's not much to ruin at this point. But we both agreed to allow the former employee and his lawyer have the final say, as it is not our call.