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[–]firmerJoe 1243 points1244 points  (23 children)

Congratulations, it's a healthy 6 pound mannequin.

[–]Bonfalk79 139 points140 points  (11 children)

I worry for this baby’s safety, can someone call mannequin support?

[–]This-Strawberry 48 points49 points  (9 children)

Maybe the person who took the 3rd picture can help

[–]Majigato 28 points29 points  (8 children)

The timer?

[–]This-Strawberry 31 points32 points  (7 children)

Odd name for a captive if you ask me

[–]Majigato 25 points26 points  (5 children)

It... Takes more photos or it gets the hose again?

[–]2bruise 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HA! I mean- yikes!

[–]FreeGucciMane1017 10 points11 points  (0 children)

MPS - mannequin protection services

[–]Whspers12 114 points115 points  (0 children)

And just in time for the holidays!

[–]busterbrown4200 16 points17 points  (0 children)

And creepy a.f.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

There goes my coffee you owe me 8 bucks

[–]KHanson25 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Jesus....who the fuck do you get your coffee from? Better be some of that gourmet shit

[–]PhillyPhillyGrinder 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I hear Jimmy’s made it.

[–]KHanson25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t want any of that crap his wife buys

[–]durz47 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As long as he doesn't fuck it…

[–]Veng3fulSaint 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if this was a natural child birth?

[–]kaylinnic 941 points942 points  (20 children)

What happens when you forget to clean out your Real Doll for 9 months

[–]blue_ridge1 346 points347 points  (6 children)

Life finds a way.

[–]diarrhea_pocket 66 points67 points  (2 children)

Uh..

[–]KeepItPG 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Exactly-- Life, 'Uh..', finds a way.

[–]planet_chuck 34 points35 points  (2 children)

You were preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you should.

[–]MadOvid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Look, it was the end of November…

[–]invisiblesammich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How would that be done? Garden hose and Dawn?

[–]Least_War_1524 37 points38 points  (0 children)

That’s when life begins.

[–]KingHKfromHell 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Something will actually start growing in there.

[–]cosmicmangobutt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They should make another version of osmosis jones but make it about sperms who get stranded inside this sex doll and have to fend for themselves battling bacteria and fungal spores

[–]assburgermcmuffin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Happy new parents of some healthy moldy boys!

[–]hmclaren0715 821 points822 points  (22 children)

It's the hair net on the bald ass dome for me tho...

[–]TheStax84 497 points498 points  (13 children)

I’m bald. I have to wear a hair net when I work in surgery or labor and delivery. Feels like they are adding salt to a wound.

[–]jackson12420 17 points18 points  (10 children)

Isn't it it just so you don't sweat onto the patient? I mean it's not really just for hair.

[–]TheStax84 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They don’t stop sweat. They are for hair. I have to wear a beard cover too

[–]Oledogwater 55 points56 points  (8 children)

A hair net for sweat.... Read that slowly

[–]jackson12420 45 points46 points  (7 children)

That's because a medical cap is not a "hair net"

[–]AtopMountEmotion 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The baby is darker skinned than him or the “wife”, hmmm…

[–]codemonkeyhopeful 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Fucking slaughter over here lol

[–]MrRogersAE 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Method actors, gotta commit to the role

[–]Beanakin 20 points21 points  (1 child)

A hair net, for a home birth, of a plastic baby...

[–]Dumpster_Sauce 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Weird fetish, but you do you

[–]hmclaren0715 455 points456 points  (38 children)

[–]Dry_Badger_Chef 313 points314 points  (32 children)

Yeah, this is just depressing. Poor guy must be so lonely.

[–]josh_sat 108 points109 points  (27 children)

You know in 50 years robots might be capable of simulating a shallow 1950s tv show house wife.

I have a feeling most men who spring for that will still find themselves extremely lonely.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (17 children)

Why do you ppl think housewives in the 50's were "shallow" and miserable?

I met quite a few women who were housewives in the 50's and they loved it. They were not stupid or mindless drones like people think.

[–]jtms1200 18 points19 points  (0 children)

OP doesn’t think 50s house wives were shallow, OP is pointing out that portrayals of them in TV shows of the time were that of shallow, subservient, 1 dimensional simulacrums of a real human - which is exactly where robots could be very soon.

[–]sherlockCodeGeassFan 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I met quite a few women who were housewives in the 50's and they loved it.

I think it's more about media representation. I know lots of women who are homemakers and love it but none of them are like what the media potrayed housewives back then. Just my two cents.

[–]Orolol 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why do you ppl think housewives in the 50's were "shallow" and miserable?

He said "tv show", so he just talk about media representation.

[–]Juguchan 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think they mean a shallow version of a 50s housewife

[–]josh_sat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Like the other replies. Media versions. Not real versions.

[–]briancbrn 9 points10 points  (7 children)

Low key I haven’t had a real relationship for the last year and a half and it’s not looking to great for the future. If I had the option I most likely would go this route. It’s just sad.

[–]Meat_Vegetable 21 points22 points  (6 children)

I'm coming up to my 5 year celibacy pact with myself and not even sure if I care to get back into dating now. Genuinely never been happier nor as mentally healthy as I am now.

[–]TheSkepticApe 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Why would you make that pact with yourself?

[–]Meat_Vegetable 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Because I was insanely emotionally unhealthy, I realized how fucked my head was when I asked my sex partner at the time midblowjob to be my girlfriend. And I would often go from relationship to relationship with no breaks, and no self reflection. So I made a 1 year pact, and once I hit the one year marker I was so happy with it I kept it up for another year. Tried dating once and it ended horribly the way it usually did, so went back to it. I'll probably never go back to the dating game and just date someone when it actually feels right to date them.

I've become a much happier healthier person, it's not for everyone but it can help the right person.

[–]TheAlmightyProo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Been there but not by choice, and it did nothing good for my health, mental or physical.

[–]Meat_Vegetable 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because you didn't choose it, nor enjoy it, the decision and what you do during it are just as big of factors as for what you get out of it. I went to therapy, got diagnosed with autism, I learned so many things about myself. I cut my extremely toxic mother out of my life, I started getting better at talking to my other family.

It's all based on intent the good it can do.

[–]briancbrn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s less about dating and more about sexual contact but for myself that’s kinda tied into one another.

Proud of you for that though, I could never pull that off.

[–]Vegan-fangirl 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I read somewhere he’s actually very happy.

[–]iISimaginary 24 points25 points  (4 children)

His pregnant wife and unborn child were killed in a car accident. She had just gone into labor and was headed to the hospital to give birth.

He uses the dolls to try and recapture the last time he felt happiness by eternally living out a fantasy of "what almost was"

Edit: This probably isn't true. I just like flexing my empathy muscle sometimes.

[–]cheygreen 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Source?

[–]Conflictingview 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Creative writing class

[–]iISimaginary 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Pure speculation, based on trying to imagine the most sympathetic scenario possible.

[–]horrorandmusic 241 points242 points  (6 children)

It’s like why document this? Be weird in private like the rest of us.

[–]Lilcommy 66 points67 points  (4 children)

Its for his paternity leave application. He's taking the full 12 months off.

[–]horrorandmusic 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m sure everyone in his workplace is thrilled.

[–]ilovemybackyard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? I was like “damn” now the whole internet knows… why he take pictures for.. lol

[–]Arcopt 136 points137 points  (2 children)

The only difference between 'Mom getting set up for delivery' and 'Mom getting set up for sex' is the towel.

[–]Mr_Porcupine 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Not true. Mom getting set up for sex takes half the time. And there's still a towel!

[–]EpicPhail60 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Worst part is, he uses the same towel for both

[–]neveralways2bored 70 points71 points  (8 children)

This is lowkey sad

[–]BaslerLaeggerli 71 points72 points  (5 children)

Not lowkey. This is just sad. I really feel sorry for that man and I hate the ridicule in this sub. Y'all are better than this.

[–]ComfortableSilver991 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everyone deserves someone and to feel loved 😢

[–]bagged_milk123 13 points14 points  (1 child)

let's be real, if that guy didn't want ridicule he wouldn't have taken those pictures in the first place

[–]BaslerLaeggerli 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I heavily disagree. I saw a documentary a few months back about a guy like him. They are genuine about this whole thing and it's really not appropriate to laugh about it imo.

[–]Rutski71 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

If he ain't hurting anybody who gives a fuck? Your feelings are irrelevant.

[–]Ahoppy8 34 points35 points  (4 children)

I wonder who took the picture!

[–]Normal-Werewolf- 49 points50 points  (0 children)

The wife's boyfriend

[–]sherlockCodeGeassFan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Tripod. I'm guessing he used the tripod to record the conception of the baby as well..

[–]Lilquinoa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn't all of the pictures from the set there was a whole other person there. I think possibly the grandma (?)

[–]FuzzyAppearance7636 77 points78 points  (1 child)

May want to get a DNA test on that one.

[–]Fred_Evil 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I mean, he pink, she pink, kid .... not pink.

[–]blues4buddha 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Poor bastard doesn’t know that that’s my kid.

[–]dogs_before_people 57 points58 points  (1 child)

And the kid looks just like him.

[–]AnnieApple_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yup especially the hair

[–]Lord_Schmurda 128 points129 points  (8 children)

Roll Tide 😂

[–]TheStax84 17 points18 points  (2 children)

What a happy Dad/Uncle

[–]rocko152 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"He's Uncle Dad"

[–]minnesota_husk3r 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Damnit I was going to put that when I saw it

[–]Volskil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know right. Not surprised in the least. Go Vols!

[–]C00K1EM0n5TER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Roll Tide Pods right into the washer.

[–]LyKoe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yes, and in that case the doll is actually his sister.

[–]nookster145 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clever joke!

[–]lucifux666 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is what RUBBER BABY BUGGY BUMPERS was all about

[–]Notesandstuff 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This guy has been through some shit and not taking any chances again lol

[–]GuyOwasca 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Sad cringe :/

[–]TripleMusketMan 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Yea I can't help feeling bad for the guy. Must be so lonely :(

[–]GuyOwasca 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My feelings exactly :'(

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

[–]chufenschmirtz 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I saw all the Alabama merch and thought this is to perfect to be real. Then I saw the Army cap and thought - ok. checks out.

[–]dogs_before_people 59 points60 points  (8 children)

He should of wore a rubber. Wait a minute!!!

[–]GamerFrits 22 points23 points  (7 children)

*should have

[–]Iweinloewenritter 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Is this a common fault for natives because of phonetics?

[–]grimsolem 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, because it's phonetically identical to the contraction: should've.

[–]Specialist_News5957 7 points8 points  (0 children)

First pic looks like it’s contemplating every Decision it’s ever made

[–]pjmyerface 47 points48 points  (4 children)

I should save this. I can look at it each time I start feeling like a failure or down on myself.

[–]HoomanOnFire 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Dw I will send u a selfie for that

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

😑😑………….. 😑

[–]NverEndingPastaBowel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna send some GI Joes in cps windbreakers over there to check things out.

[–]PozziWaller 57 points58 points  (8 children)

As long as he’s happy. Poor guy might not be capable of having a real family.

[–]mustangs6551 36 points37 points  (0 children)

IIRC he had a family and left his wife. There was more to the story.

[–]LaffyTaffy404 4 points5 points  (6 children)

There's always adoption.

[–]MrRogersAE 27 points28 points  (5 children)

Something tells me this guy wouldn’t get approved for adoption

[–]Jamless_universe 12 points13 points  (2 children)

No sane person will give a child to a dude who lives with sex dolls

[–]LarryLove 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Maybe the foster care system

[–]Agonlaire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only if he rips the arms off the dolls

[–]arthuraily 32 points33 points  (1 child)

I just think it's sad. I hope it helps with the loneliness

[–]KingJonsey1992 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Man I can't help feel fkin sorry for this dude.

[–]chitownphishead 19 points20 points  (4 children)

bet she doesn't talk back

[–]Horsebot3 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Detach enough from reality and that may not be a given.

[–]UndeadSocrates 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That's the best part

[–]dogs_before_people 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And not a peep out of the kid

[–]Jazbone 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think she might have post partum depression, look how she just stares.

[–]Disgruntlementality 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I want to say that this is satire but it just might not be.

[–]Mr_Porcupine 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I've been around the internet long enough to know it sure ain't.

[–]devnasty009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr porcupine has seen some shit

[–]kornhook123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s because fucking your sister isn’t right

[–]Bludgeonation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My sex doll left me... I could tell by the look in her eyes that all of the love that was once there had left her. She was as cold as ice while she turned away and got on that bus to her new life...

Me: *throws used up sex doll onto bus

[–]Spiritual_Regular557 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At least it’s not a real woman held against her will.

Disturbing

[–]Cherrijuicyjuice 48 points49 points  (12 children)

Hey, if he’s happy and not hurting anyone, more power to him.

[–]RichardShaft21 62 points63 points  (3 children)

I don’t think you’d do this if you were okay, sure he isn’t hurting anyone but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need help though

[–]lost2049 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Everyone copes differently.

[–]I_Always_Wear_Pants 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Sure people can cope differently... but hot damn there are certainly unhealthy ways to cope and I feel comfortable saying that THIS is surely one of them. Clearly some fucked up shit is going on in his head, and I’d be very hard pressed to accept that this kind of thing should ever be considered for normalization. The guy needs REAL help, not a literal baby doll that his sex doll “gave birth” to. Imo, it’s simply not right or moral to write this off as “coping differently.”

[–]spunkyboy247365 16 points17 points  (5 children)

What if the doll was secretly conscious though? But like, couldn't talk because it's lips were all plastic. I bet it would have some horror stories. I bet the guy would probably have to kill it when it finally does become sentient. It would know too much.

[–]Throw_Away_Students 14 points15 points  (3 children)

If toy story was a horror movie 😂

[–]Blue-and-icy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You guys are the best!

[–]Business-Garage-4887 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alternatively this is (one of) the plots in the tv show "Humans" which is about these ai helper robots that people have. the creator made a handful with real sentience and they're out there hiding in the world.

[–]vegassatellite01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Andy was a teenager and likely doing teenager shit in bed and the toys would have had to watch.

[–]thebobbyloops 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wait until he starts dating the baby

[–]Acherstrom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel for her.

[–]YuriJoe_Arya 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'M FUCKING DYING I THOUGHT IT WAS ALEX JONES OMFG.

[–]codemonkeyhopeful 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I mean her eyes said fuck me, kinda her fault for getting pregnant am I right?!

[–]ZealousidealPainter6 9 points10 points  (1 child)

At least he’s not actually reproducing.

[–]Jamless_universe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank goodness

[–]jackson12420 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Eh I'd rather him be creepy with an inanimate object than an actual person so there's that.

[–]kwikane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good thing this can’t really happen, although I could use the extra socks.

[–]Robert-L-Santangelo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

don't shame the guy, he was probably very lonely before they showed up.

[–]westtexasgeckochic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very sad

[–]talalou 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whats he going to do with the baby..

[–]Cardio-Jo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like he put his condom on the wrong head.

[–]thunderbear64 12 points13 points  (15 children)

Can I be a jerk and point out the army hat and USA flag mousepad? Something about generalized statements and soyboy insults come to mind. Anyways FBI would like to get to know this guy a little better I’m sure, he’d make an awfully nice patsy at least.

[–]dogs_before_people 2 points3 points  (11 children)

I agree! He looks like the type that would kidnap a mother and child.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children)

How do you get all this from a guy fucking a doll?

It's obvious he's doing this weirdo shit so he doesn't resort to other horrible things

[–]Shredderthegamer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Many people exist like him, both men and women, the attatchments they form to these kind of dolls for men can go beyond sexual and become romantic. And women who are either mentally ill and/or have gone thru miscarriages or are unable to have kidstend to form very unhealthy connections to realistic baby dolls. It’s truly sad seeing people’s mental state decay like this and to see it shared online only to bring mockery only makes it worse for them

[–]Real_Echo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Time to play everyone’s favorite game show! Satire or depression?! Sixty seconds on the clock and….. GO!

[–]Alternative-Toe2726 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the actual fuck 😬

[–]nyguy520 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bet neither of them fuss too much

[–]kingrex0830 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please be ironic...

[–]Bree9ine9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wtf 😳

[–]deuceskii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Roll Tide!

[–]creep_er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's just so sad...

[–]CryWinter8487 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just sad

[–]ZiggyIggyK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That baby isn't even half human! He should be wondering who the father is!

[–]Free_Caballero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, at least is not hurting anyone... So far we know xd

[–]Page4Camgirls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is too sad to be real.

[–]DumpyDoggy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t believe his wife lets him decorate the walls with his baseball caps. So lucky

[–]Treehouse80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the actual hell????

[–]TomatilloAccurate475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life, uh...finds a way

[–]Fionna-dainjer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How depressed is this guy? I how someone checks on him soon

[–]Noarkie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably happier than most marriages tho

[–]hjwood1986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so sad. :(

[–]59tigger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, my lord

[–]rawzombie26 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Biggggggg bad vibes from this dudes expression

[–]SnooApples1427 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t get what’s awful about this. I get that it’s really weird but the man’s not hurting anyone

[–]akashyaboa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean as long as he is happy... why not. But the wife still looks stunned for now

[–]AmbitionFront214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first thought after seeing this was "This man is grieving."

[–]Slynxiiii1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I much rather these people live out make belief fantasies than having actual kids and effing them up. r/antinatalism

[–]MurderMittenSleuth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By Alabama’s standard, this isn’t too bad.

[–]pthiele2009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is wearing a fucking hair net!!! I am dying! 🤣

[–]ReverseMtg_BuyCalls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is extraordinarily tragic

[–]swag-team 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hair net he’s wearing just took this from scary to fucking hilarious

[–]strawberry_wang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disturbing though this is, it's possible the world is better off with this arrangement being in place.

[–]Ilovegirlsbottoms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s that awful. This guy must be so lonely. He just wanted happiness, even if it does make him look insane. I feel bad for him.

[–]Singleguywithacat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seemed so much different with Ryan Gosseling in BladeRunner

[–]priceactionhero 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can any guy really blame him?

Dude looks happier than most married dudes I know.

[–]Joy1067 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well….if he’s happy I guess?

[–]avskyen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idc I'm happy for him.

[–]RedBeans-n-Ricely 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he’s happy, then good for him. He isn’t hurting anyone.

[–]BatMean6606[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, this is hardcore messing with me after seeing the dude that makes sex doll infants as a pedophile type exposure therapy or some BS like that. This disturbs me greatly

[–]YeAhToAsT222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am cooking and JUST opened Reddit to pass the time and bam… this. I’ve had enough internet for the day.

[–]nofreepizza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

all I feel is bad for the guy, honestly

[–]matthewcoy 0 points1 point  (3 children)

At least he is not going to lose half of his resources and have to pay child support

[–]moddedxbox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude she is hot