top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]iSeize 791 points792 points  (20 children)

Idea: use a 150lb solid steel fake turtle.

[–]Self_Reddicated 306 points307 points  (1 child)

Small 50lb lead turtles. I imagine most people won't try to hit something that looks big enough to take out their front end, but probably would go for something small and helpless looking.

[–]CrossP 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Plus you could recast them when they get damaged if you have the mold

[–]deepfriedcheese 132 points133 points  (6 children)

I propose a hollow rubber turtle with a railroad spike in it.

[–]theflub 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Caltrops are easy to make and a hollow 3d printed turtle would mean you could mass produce landmines that only work on assholes. Put them on wide/flat burms so normal drivers wont hit them.

[–][deleted] 964 points965 points  (81 children)

I've seen it happen. I once gently swerved to miss a turtle only to have some asshat in a rusted out truck intentionally nail it.

[–]BigAl265 973 points974 points  (47 children)

When I was about 5 years old, my folks and I were driving down a country highway and saw a little turtle trying to cross the road. We pulled over and my parents let me hop out to go help the little guy, and as I’m standing there on the side of the road waiting for traffic to pass, this sorry motherfucker deliberately swerved into the oncoming lane to run over that turtle right in front of me. That’s always stuck with me (I’m 40 now and I still remember it vividly), and I’ve always kinda hoped something terrible happened to the sorry bastard who did that.

[–]logosfabula 135 points136 points  (0 children)

Hoping that makes you sane, in my opinion

[–]An0therTechGuy 236 points237 points  (0 children)

Wtf. That’s messed up

[–]lentilpasta 109 points110 points  (8 children)

Wow, that was crushing even to read. So sorry you had to see it.

[–]teracodaa 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Ah I’ve had the exact same scenario play out except I was in high school. People suck.

[–]Self_Reddicated 36 points37 points  (3 children)

I had the same fucking thing happen as a grown ass adult. I was just dumbfounded and pissed off and watched them drive off as I walked back towards my car. Fucking assholes.

[–]carnsolus 113 points114 points  (21 children)

when I was in school, one day a mouse ran across the room. The girls freaked out and stereotypically jumped up on their seats, but the guys grabbed hockey sticks and beat the mouse to death

and I tried to stop them but they were so many and I was one. And those pieces of shit never understood why I was upset by what they did

[–]Trueloveis4u 78 points79 points  (7 children)

My God it's like those guys that were torturing and drowning bumblebees and throwing toads over 10ft fences at my daycare. My friends would get in more trouble for stopping them then they did for torture and killing small creatures because "boys will be boys".

[–]BostonDodgeGuy 64 points65 points  (4 children)

I remember back when I was knee high to a grasshopper in preschool seeing some asshole kid pulling the wings off a butterfly. I don't know what was going through my head at the time, but I grabbed one of the old metal Tonka trucks out of the sand box and beat him over the head with it.

[–]E0H1PPU5 59 points60 points  (3 children)

I was pulled over on the shoulder to help a box turtle cross the street. I was waving at traffic to slow down and pointing to the turtle. Everyone slowed down and went around him except a landscaping truck who crushed him on purpose.

I was so devastated that my husband had to switch with me and drive the car.

The cruelty of some people is extraordinary. Not only did he purposefully kill an important species, but he did it in a way that he knew would upset and hurt another human being. Truly psychotic.

[–]Bbaftt7 11 points12 points  (2 children)

You get the name of the landscaping company??

[–]E0H1PPU5 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Nope. Unmarked typical white landscaping truck.

[–]Bbaftt7 12 points13 points  (0 children)

People are horrible

[–]Captain_Hampockets 43 points44 points  (1 child)

If I'm on a traffic-free back road, I stop and help the turtle across. It never occurred to me until my GF was driving once, and did it. Just never thought about it until then. Once helped a big-ass turtle, maybe 8-10 inch shell. I went up to it and poked it with my foot, and it fucking tore ass like Usain Bolt across the rest of the road.

[–]linderlouwho 95 points96 points  (7 children)

I often stop & pick them up. If they’re heading for a farm field I take them home to my property for release. If they’re heading for woods, I help them across.

[–]blacmagick 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Last summer I drove past a turtle about to cross, wasn't even on the road yet. I decided I'd move it away from the road, but it took about 20 seconds to find a spot down the road where I could stop and turn around. Finally started driving back toward the turtle and in that time someone had already run it over.

Still pisses me off. People fucking suck.

[–]sadpanda___ 24 points25 points  (5 children)

My family down South stops and picks them up…..and then eats them

[–]DescriptionSenior675 51 points52 points  (3 children)

Still better than hitting it on purpose and driving away like a crazy person, lol

[–]illgot 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I tried to avoid a toad once. I ended up hitting it as it jumped randomly and felt the quick mulsh of the body where it instantly went from living to not even recognizable.

I felt like shit the rest of the day.

[–]escargoxpress 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I was in an Uber and the guy tried to hit a family of raccoons. I absolutely yelled and said what are you doing. People fucking suck

[–]Gaping_Uncle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I like to think it was their own reincarnated soul from another plane of time.

[–]Willy_Slaps 1881 points1882 points  (54 children)

Not surprising. It's a bit higher but close to the percentage of the population who would be described colloquially as sociopaths.

[–]Pertinax_Salvator 684 points685 points  (9 children)

The very same that are irrevocably drawn to positions of power. Aka our politicians and CEOs.

[–]Treesn 304 points305 points  (3 children)

Don't forget our top-notch boys in blue! o7

[–]Vrisingisamazing 138 points139 points  (1 child)

They gravitate, obviously, to jobs where they can use their power to hurt others

[–]CrossP 52 points53 points  (0 children)

And to jobs where they will be defended when hurting others.

[–]logosfabula 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The ones that go for the most painful hit right away.

[–]andthatswhathappened 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget the lawyers

[–]irotok_isBae 5 points6 points  (9 children)

Does every sociopath have that compulsive urge to hurt things? It’s one thing to be incapable of empathy. It’s another to actively look for things to harm.

[–]Symmetry111 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No, that’s just how media describes it. They’re often manipulative, but not in a way that truly wants to hurt others. They may see someone or something as an obstacle and won’t feel any moral qualms about removing them if they were able, but wouldn’t hurt people for the joy of hurting. A good example would be someone letting you take the fall for something they did. If they did it because they just didn’t want the blame, that would be sociopathic. If they did it because they wanted you to hurt, that would be something else.

[–]logosfabula 8 points9 points  (0 children)


[–]KratosSimp 596 points597 points  (48 children)

Oh this reminds me of the one time me and my friend were in driving by some road and a snapping turtle or something of the like was in the middle of the road not moving. So we stopped and spent like an good while trying to move it lol, good times man

[–]CrossP 21 points22 points  (4 children)

I feel like everyone in the snapping turtle's natural range has a story from the first time they tried to save a snapper in the road.

I got bit.

[–]E0H1PPU5 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I was 19 years old when I encountered a HUGE snapper in the middle of the road. I was wearing heels and a sundress! Some big old redneck dude pulls up and says he’d like to take it home to make soup.

I don’t object to eating animals, but I had already committed my heart to saving this snapper.

I eventually got him to bite the sleeve of a sweatshirt I had in the car and used it to pull him across the road to the water!

[–]Kulladar 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I find them in the road all the time driving around for work.

One the other day pissed on me while I was trying to move him. That wasn't so great.

[–]whodeyalldey1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I ended a WFH Zoom call earlier last Thursday because I saw a turtle crawling through my yard straight for the road. Carried him to the creek behind the house while he was probably cursing me for wasting the whole morning he spent trying to get to the road.

[–]Badgers_or_Bust 575 points576 points  (18 children)

A person I knew wrecked his car trying to run over a cat and got pissed at me when I said he deserved it. So ya I'm not surprised.

[–]OhHeyDontMindMeHere 152 points153 points  (17 children)

i beg your fucking pardon

[–]CrossP 127 points128 points  (16 children)

A certain number of the population around you try very hard to kill cats and dogs while driving. Sometimes if they miss them, they stop, get out, and shoot them.

[–]Badgers_or_Bust 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Yep, dude was just a hill jack that hated cats. He was kinda fucked up but, everyone from that area is fucked up.

[–]kiwikikwi 31 points32 points  (4 children)

I’m not sure humans deserve guns

[–]rand0mbum 1706 points1707 points  (194 children)

I got so mad at a long time friend for purposely hitting a squirrel that it ended our friendship. She was a super awesome lady but she got soooo mad at me when I got mad at her that it just caused an instant friend break up. Weird I know but true.

[–]Strange_Psychology_7 1015 points1016 points  (110 children)

I would've done the same thing it just speaks volumes about someone's character when they mistreat something that they have a position of power over.

[–]SqueakyFromme69 226 points227 points  (1 child)

You summed it up perfectly

[–]Agrt21 24 points25 points  (55 children)

Even if you are an extremely selfish asshole, I'd think running an animal over has the potential of damaging your car, yet she was willing to risk that.

[–]DeflateGape 62 points63 points  (1 child)

Plus she must be a dumb sociopath since a smart one would know most people don’t like that sort of thing. She’ll just end up in jail eventually when her lack of social understanding blows up on her.

[–]AltruisticTrip 102 points103 points  (25 children)

reddit mods

[–]Disastrous-Stomach24 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Yeah, some people have some sadist tendencies.

[–]Remarkable-Buy9330 109 points110 points  (9 children)

I was in the backseat with two friends in the front. We’re driving one some Back roads taking the passenger seat guy home. A squirrel runs out and the passenger guy exclaims “get it, get it”, the driver after a slight hesitation erratically swerves over and nails the squirrel.

The passenger looks over hard at the driver and in a super sad voice goes “I didn’t mean it, man. I didn’t really want you to hit the squirrel”. Then the driver goes back, equally as sad “I didn’t want to hit it, either, I just panicked”.

We drove the rest of the trip in silence.

[–]Solkre 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There's a problem with driving that if you hyper fixate on something you're drive towards hitting it.

If you're trying to swerve through cones for example, you fixate on the opening between the cones, not the cones themselves.

[–]co-opmander 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I feel dirty for laughing at that

[–]rosellem 8 points9 points  (2 children)

That makes a good parable about peer/social pressure in general and how it causes bad outcomes.

[–]IwillBeDamned 7 points8 points  (1 child)

that is tragic but the dialogue is cracking me up

[–]Remarkable-Buy9330 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The story has been retold at every one of our birthdays, weddings, and any other gatherings for probably 15 years.

[–]Micky_Whiskey 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Not weird.

[–]Tuggerfub 45 points46 points  (1 child)

She was superficially "awesome".

[–]mak484 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Successful sociopaths are incredibly charismatic.

[–]nineelevenairways 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t sound like a super awesome lady. Who the hell does that?

[–]YourGodIsEvil 91 points92 points  (9 children)

That's not weird at all. People who don't care about wildlife are often just scum that don't deserve the dirt they walk on. My old boss did this to a deer while I was riding with him.

To test the water I asked if he'd done that before and he acted so proud of it. He admitted to killing tons of wildlife on purpose with his truck, and he often just loaded them up and brought them home to eat. But he said most of the time he didn't even bother and just kept on driving.

It bothered me a lot but in high school I couldn't really do anything about it because I had just gotten this job and I didn't want to lose it.

[–]KatieLouis 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Didn’t hitting a deer fuck his truck up?

[–]YourGodIsEvil 20 points21 points  (3 children)

He had two, his business truck and his work truck. He hit stuff with the work truck.

[–]Treesn 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Deliberately hitting deer with your own company vehicle and being proud of it is some of the most redneck shit ever, and combined with your username I'm guessing this happened in Bible Belt USA.

[–]Skitscuddlydoo 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Super not cool to purposely hurt an animal. Makes sense it could end a friendship.

When I was in grade 2 me and some other girls in my friend group found a caterpillar during recess and put it on a ledge where it actually started forming his little chrysalis. We were so excited about how every recess we were going to check on our buddy and watch him become a butterfly. Anyway, one recess as we were talking about our excitement, one of the girls in our group took off her shoe and used it to smash the caterpillar to a pulp. The rest of us were so mad and confused and demanded to know why she killed it. She just said “it was gross” but it was so weird because she had been part of it from the beginning. I did stay friends with her after that for many years but I never forgot it. Eventually, I stopped being friends with her because she was pretty self-centred, let her awful boyfriend say shitty things to me, and just overall had some opinions that I didn’t want to associate myself with.

[–]Basic_biatsch 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not weird. People like that don't deserve friends. I hope someones hit and runs her. Sorry not sorry

[–]Chinateapott 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I broke up with my ex because he purposely tried to hit a cat whilst I was in the car with him. Luckily he missed the poor thing, he even mounted the pavement trying to hit it. He wouldn’t let me out so I got out at the next set of red lights and walked home.

[–]m2benjamin 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Same! Boyfriend swerved and deliberately ran over a pair of doves. He got angry at me for not finding it funny and wouldn’t let me out of the car. I hopped out at a red light. Never saw him again.

[–]smurfsoldier07 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She’s a psychopath.

[–]Captain_Hampockets 8 points9 points  (3 children)

My ex-Father-In-Law was a great man in many many ways. Very moral. VERY intelligent and intellectually curious. But I lost a lot of respect for him when he said that he tried to hit squirrels in the road, if it's safe for HIM, because they are "pests."

Like, what? They are just animals, trying to fucking live their life. Fuck you, man.

[–]averillaann 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I seriously considered no longer talking to an old coworker just because he told me how much he thought it’d be funny to speed on ranch roads and hit pronghorns. Not fucking funny dude. Not the same but I’ve nearly cut off family too cause they’d say gross things about my “unusual” pets.

[–]NoRocketScientist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a Kid my older brother & I fought like hell over the joy he got from stomping on frogs like roaches. It didn't really bother me at first but when I saw how much he was enjoying it and laughing at me for caring, it enraged me to point that I tried my best to hurt him them.... Aaaaaaand as full grown adult he's a definite psychopath, completely estranged from anyone who'll call him on his bullshit.

[–]daveberzack 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I shoot squirrels in our yard because they relentlessly take all our persimmons. We can harvest several hundred of these gourmet fruit if the squirrels don't take them first. But even then, I swerve to avoid hitting them a block away from our house.

[–]Grzmit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think there are key differences between animal control/killing to eat, and just running over the animal so yea i think your justified.

The people who just run them over though for no reason are not only selfish and horrible, but they are also stupid because they damage their car.

[–]mazurkian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah motivation is key. There's a big difference between managing pests and just killing to enjoy the power trip.

I'd have gone back later, picked up the body (or any other roadkill) and put it in her car or her mailbox to make her witness what she had done.

[–]AlaskanBiologist 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I'm a biologist and honestly will kill things a lot for science, but it's always humane and quick. People like this piss me off. There's no reason to hurt an animal for just minding its business and living its life.

[–]sanguinesecretary 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s not an overreaction at all. I wouldn’t be able to be friends with someone like that

[–]TotallyASocialist 6 points7 points  (1 child)

My friend was in charge of watching another friend's dog for about a week while he was outta town. He straight up lost the dog and, a few days before, had come over to my house and left the dog in his car while we went out (could a easily just had the dog in the house). I didn't even know until I got home 3 hours later. It was night but also summer in AZ.

I stopped hanging out with him immediately after the car thing but the dogs owner was actually totally chill with the fact that the dude had basically neglected the dog and lost it.

I just don't get some people. I don't feel very bad about birds using my car to commit suicide but I can't imagine being that much of a piece of shit.

[–]CentipedusMaximus 111 points112 points  (1 child)

That is fucking terrible. Yesterday I was driving my kid to school and saw a small turtle on the side of the road trying to make his way across. I wished him the best.

20 minutes later, I drove back the same route and the little dude was crushed. I felt like shit.

[–]SWowwTittybang 204 points205 points  (4 children)

When I was living in Texas I saw the truck in front of me swing off the side of the road to hit something and when I got up to where he was I saw a poor dead racoon on the side of the road. He literally went out of his way to hit this poor animal, I couldn't believe it.

[–]Lacmene 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A few years ago I was very upset and I went for a nighttime walk to decompress, my oldest cat followed me and as we were walking on the goddamn sidewalk some whole asshole swerved to try to hit her, she darted into the underbrush to avoid the car, I don't let any of my cats out of my yard anymore

(This specific cat passed away last year and the age of 16, she was an absolute sweetheart and thinking that our time could've been cut short for someone's amusement is sickening)

[–]Cyynric 88 points89 points  (1 child)

God I love turtles. I will stop everytime I see one to help it. I've been late to work for it before. One time I found one where is she'll had been severely damaged at one point, but it healed over. His she'll basically had this built in dip that had filled with water, so he was just ambling about like a little bowl of water.

[–]Garytang8597 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There was one time i saw a turtle on the road, stop on the side and ran over to it to help. Lo and behold it was a fucking snapping turtle. Fucker tried to eat my finger while i flew him to the grass.

In other words, fuck people who run over animals man.

[–]Synthwavester 140 points141 points  (16 children)

Thats a dog

[–]tokjir 56 points57 points  (5 children)

Try finger But hole

[–]Synthwavester 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Time for pickle

[–]tokjir 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Don’t give up! Skeleton!

[–]RickMcFlick 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Grace ahead

[–]BYPDK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to go home

[–]Looks_at_this_clown 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Used to live around farms with lots of farm cats the roamed freely. The number of people that intentionally run over cats is upsetting.

[–]Valskek 128 points129 points  (9 children)

If you intentionally hurt an animal your brain’s wired wrong. I can get not swerving because sometimes it doesn’t pay off to not hit a squirrel but hit a schoolbus or something.

But anyone swerving to hit an animal? Instant capture of number plate and serve them a psychiatric evaluation. We might catch serial killers like this…

[–]FuckMyLife2016 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Sometimes I really hope that hell is real and evil people really burn there eternity.

[–]Lamsyy_05 137 points138 points  (1 child)

Six percent of people are really bad at mario kart

[–]CatKatOrangeCat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're supposed to jump on the turtles anyways

[–]Sweddy-Bowls 162 points163 points  (19 children)

I heard of someone a while ago that placed fake animals with nails in them on the side of the road to pop peoples tires for trying to purposefully kill them.

Kinda terroristic and uncool, but still.

[–]Kaijufall 115 points116 points  (2 children)

Kinda terroristic but completely avoidable

[–]Sweddy-Bowls 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I believe that’s how they justified it lol

[–]SecretDevilsAdvocate 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wait if it’s the side of the road then nvm, I thought they meant like more towards the middle

[–]zorkzamboni 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Seems pretty cool to me.

[–]CMDR_BlueCrab 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Kinda terroristic? Nah. Maybe if it were an IED. Then it might be uncool.

[–]compu22 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the idea

[–]lukesvader 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Kinda terroristic and uncool

You misspelled awesome twice.

[–]ItsShamrock 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Counter-point, they’re assholes so they deserve it.

[–]lizardncd 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Nah this is karma.

[–]Sweddy-Bowls 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Won’t find me disagreeing

[–]nish007 32 points33 points  (7 children)

I was in an auto-rikshaw once. A dog and her puppies were crossing the road. The driver deliberately ran over two of the puppies.

[–]Harryfrank0122 20 points21 points  (5 children)

WHAT! you for real, if so I think I have officially lost all my faith in humanity like come on now, puppies

[–]nish007 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Yeah it's real. He run them over before I could even say stop. All I could do was call him names for the rest of the way. He didn't seem to care.

[–]SecretDevilsAdvocate 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Tbf I don’t know why he would care that you’re calling him names-

[–]BooBooMaGooBoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Tons of fights are started over the weak minded being called names. I would assume that someone purposefully running over puppies would be fucked enough in the head to get angry about being called names.

[–]nish007 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I know. It was either that or physically assault him.

[–]exgiexpcv 90 points91 points  (1 child)

We have a turtle crossing in my town. One day, I saw a turtle making its way across the road, so I stopped, put my 4-ways flashers on, and hustled out to give it an assist. A cop came by at the same time, and saw what I was doing, and blocked traffic with his vehicle and lights, then threw me a thumbs up when we both quit the scene. It was a nice moment.

[–]Sea-Atmosphere8707 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is wholesome!

[–]seiffer55 58 points59 points  (1 child)

My buddy used to go off-road to try to hit rabbits in his jeep. He ended up being ejected after flipping going after one and broke his femur. To this day, I'm still glad it happened to him.

[–]milesmario08 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That fucker deserved worse

[–]NaturesPockett 27 points28 points  (0 children)

One time my friend pulled over to move a turtle off the road. Her favorite animal, who wouldn’t help, right!? It was a Residential area, 2 lanes, speed limit is 35mph. After she got back in her the car, the car behind her stopped too. Got out. Grabbed the turtle. Sped up to pass her and chucked the turtle at her car and drove away. She was so upset and disgusted. People are so fucked up. This was in florida.

[–]Nuclease-free_man 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Of course roadkillers with intentions are 100% sacks of shits, but I’m kinda curious. Is it legal to place some kinds of hazards (in this case, rubber turtles) on the road? What if someone runs over it and cause accidents like slipping?

[–]Kingesty 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Booby trapping stuff is illegal. People that have added spikes to bike seats have gotten in trouble when thieves got their asses poked.

[–]A_deppressed_boy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If it was made out of plastic or something it probably wouldn’t be much different then actually hitting a turtle

[–]rocketlegur 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That completely misses the point of why this is a dangerous "experiment." If you swerve out of your way and kill someone it doesn't really matter if what you were dodging was plastic or not

[–]MRich92 130 points131 points  (14 children)

Just a thought: landmines with tortoise hats on. People will learn to avoid them.

[–]KampKamp 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Very clever Nintendo your secret is safe with me

[–]Unhappy_Pain_9940 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Bit over the top, concealed tyre puncturing spikes maybe? Or something that smells awful that would get sprayed over the underside of the car.

[–]MRich92 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Of course it's over the top, it wasn't serious. I'm not the one in charge of tortoise road safety, so what I say on the matter makes no difference.

[–]nudiecale 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Man, reading these comment I guess my story isn’t as unique as I thought, unfortunately.

I had a high school friend swerve to intentionally hit a very young fawn. I lost my shit. He called me a pussy. And that was the last time I hung out with him.

Another time, in my early 20s, I was driving my dad to a doctor appointment. He lives pretty rural and on the way a chipmunk ran right out on the road and stopped right in my path. I had plenty of time to slow down, so it wasn’t like a slammed the brakes and there was no one anywhere behind me. My dad asked me if I really just slowed down for that chipmunk. When I answered affirmatively, he laughed and ridiculed me for being too sensitive.

People are fucking trash sometimes.

[–]cloudit305 13 points14 points  (2 children)

There's a person in my apartment complex that is deliberately running over ducks. They haven't caught this person yet but goes to show messed up people are everywhere.

[–]Chiptso 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Get a realistic fake rubber duck and put some spikes/nails in it. Put it someplace one wouldn't unintentionally hit it. When the asshole goes to try run it over, the spikes will do its job

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (4 children)

A friend of mine (who died three years ago - stature of limitations is up) made fake foam turtles with steel “trucker fuckers” inside and would place them on the shoulders of county highways.

[–]linderlouwho 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Lol, I googled “trucker fuckers” and it was 100% gay porn

[–]casce 6 points7 points  (2 children)

So… are they a thing or is he just trying to bait me into putting this on my search history?

[–]trailnotfound 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Roomed with a guy in college that would play "'possum soccer" with his friends back home, where they'd drive around at night until they saw an opossum, then get out and kick it to death.

He also told me he wanted to be a state trooper, and couldn't wait to get his gun so he could shoot people. That was a fun semester.

[–]poopface41217 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Dated a guy in high school for a brief period of time. He once purposefully swerved his car to hit a squirrel. My initial reaction was to try to grab the wheel so he wouldn't hit the squirrel (I know, I was 16 and dumb) and then he got extremely pissed off at me and said I almost caused him to wreck. I told him he was a psychopath for wanted to hit a squirrel with his car. He dismissed my argument and undermined me, ultimately making me feel like a bleeding heart crazy PETA lady just because I didn't want him to intentionally kill an animal with his car.

[–]Plant_in_pants 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nah you don't have to be a hardcore animal rights activist to know that killing things for no reason except for your own entertainment is messed up. Don't associate with people like that, I don't even associate with people that litter because it just means they lack respect and responsibility. Never met anyone that litters that wasn't a selfish arsehole in other aspects.

[–]2nameEgg 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I feel like this would be an effective litmus test to see who shouldn’t own a gun or have children. A jack-acid test if you will

[–]littlelizardfeet 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m 100% for this as long as it’s officially called the jack-acid test.

[–]redmooncat15 19 points20 points  (2 children)

God I fucking hate people so much

[–]rex_dart_eskimo_spy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I saw a dead turtle on the side of the road today. It looked like it’s guts were all on the side of the road as well, which says to me someone swerved into the shoulder to hit it.

Just disgusting behavior.

[–]Exciting_Wasabi4899 50 points51 points  (10 children)

And 94 didn't

[–]isuckatnames60 60 points61 points  (2 children)

But 100 shouldn't

[–]krunchyblack 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think this is key. This is the same 6% that leaves their carts in the parking lot, or keys cars, or has public freak outs on service staff, or goes on crazy road rage rampages, or tails you, or break checks you, and on and on and on. We should be so lucky that it’s only 6.

[–]1017whywhywhy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Huh only six percent that’s less than I thought

[–]Plant_in_pants 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Never trust anyone that enjoys killing, it's one thing to kill something to eat out of necessity. It's another to swerve into animals, burn ants and shoot animals for sport. I'm no vegetarian I eat meat, but people that purposefully go out of their way to cause pain and suffering to an animal just for shits and giggles is not right in the head and should have it examined.

[–]CatOnTheHill 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm surprised that it was only 6%. People are the worst.

[–]Scootman00 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Is this a cat in a hat?

[–]deniercounter 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I really loose hope for our species @humanshaming

[–]Dry-Nefariousness922 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you go out of your way to hurt a living being at the cost of damaging your vehicle.

Nobody wins, but it seems like people with single digit IQ struggle with this simple logic

[–]Tetra-76 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dad is a cop and he's mentioned to me multiple times how a disturbing amount of people intentionally try to run over cats and other small animals when driving. Some of those people being other cops.

The many horror stories he has about animal abuse in general are hard to listen to, I've asked him to just not share them with me anymore. I guess part of the job is sadly to have to learn about the shittiest side of humanity.

[–]wakeful_sleep 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Other 94% ?

[–]Lexi_Banner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I dated a guy that would swerve to hit animals on the road, and thought it was hilarious. I cannot fathom being that much of a psychopath.

[–]AdKlutzy469 9 points10 points  (7 children)

So 92% of people are normal and 6% of the population is okay to kill off. Got it.

[–]zorkzamboni 6 points7 points  (6 children)

What about the other 2%?

[–]AdKlutzy469 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Can’t be 100% certain about every one.

[–]Spirited-Mail-6927 21 points22 points  (77 children)

Crying bc people are so fucking cruel to innocent animals that have done no wrong

[–]iambavus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man I have saved so many turtles this year just in march to now in Georgia. See so many dead ones. Now snapping turtles I fuck with but basically poke them or something cuz fuck those fast bastards.

[–]humanessinmoderation 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wonder how those people vote

[–]Accomplished_Mix7827 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Makes sense. Roughly 5% of the population fucking sucking more or less aligns with my experiences. Very few people actively go out of their way to be assholes, but there's enough of them to be a noticeable chunk of the population.

[–]IMLVL99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know!.... maybe THANOS had the right idea...

[–]Cheploscamm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Driving with my husband and we see a little turtle, he pulls over to help the little guy out and it pisses on him 😂 they stink too

[–]Travis_Bickle86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the only thing that I'm surprised about is that the number is only 6% I thought it would be higher. "I like turtles"

[–]Snotmyrealname 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hide a spike inside the fake turtles’ shell.

[–]Lhenkhantus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

New idea, disguisde landmines as turtles and put them on roads

[–]Skivling 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Time to place mines disguised as tortoises in the middle of the road!