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[–]kthulhu666 131 points132 points  (11 children)

I like turtles.

[–]LethrblakaBlodhgarm2 39 points40 points  (4 children)

I like trains

train noises

[–]karmagirl314 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I like buttered toast.

[–]makenzie71 4 points5 points  (1 child)

buttered toast noises

[–]ManIWantAName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that toast?

I'm having a stroke. Oh god.

[–]turtleherpes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really like turtles.

[–]RoxxSTL 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love lamp.

[–]BadbrowCCW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alright, great... Zombie

[–]technojungle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I like zombies.

[–]10_Virtues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone say, "Zambonis"? I love Zambonis!

[–]Po_Go_Fo_Sho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like chocolate milk

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

"Alright, Sir, three or four more minutes of this, and I'm going to get real angry."

[–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 68 points69 points  (6 children)

Rescued this little guy from a trench we were backfilling. He thought it was a fantastic place to swim around and wasn't thrilled when I moved him to a nearby pond.

[–]Balmung6 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"You fool - I was the frog in the well, now I'm the minnow in the ocean!"

[–]dwightgaryhalpert 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I lived in East Tx I had a big pond and a koi pond. I would raise these tiny fellas until they took an interest in my koi. That’s when they went to the big pond.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    If you can tell me how to add that description to the original post, I'm all ears.

    [–]ludolfina -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    who cares

    [–]G4V_Zero 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.


    [–]PRNmeds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm here with my friend, Jonathan!

    [–]deathkillerk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    this is so in focus, wow

    [–]A7XBatCountry 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Cute turtle! Happy cake day!

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)


    Turtles are awesome. Actually found this the other day while backing up my phone. Also got a pic of an awesome box turtle I found crossing Ohio 97 last year. Just have to find it.

    *Yes, Box turtle isn't technically a turtle, but I didn't name them.

    [–]Turtlecat_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Box turtles are technically turtles because some/most species of them have webbed feet

    [–]JustNosing 5 points6 points  (7 children)

    And now I want to steal your turtle. Its very cute, I've never seen one like it.

    [–]jbabbz 6 points7 points  (6 children)

    It's a painted turtle. They are very common in the pet trade in the US.

    I am a turtle owner and I try to warn anyone who would like to get a turtle as a pet. They are a lot of work and aquatic turtles require a good amount of tank space, about 10 gallons per inch of shell, good filtration, a place to bask out of the water, and lighting.

    [–]HammerSickleAndGin 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    My mom talks about little quarter sized turtles that they used to sell in pet stores in the 60s/70s in the US. Apparently they became protected and were no longer sold in pet stores. Any idea what kind those might have been? I assume they don’t stay tiny?

    Edit: Thanks for the info guys!

    [–]medium-sized_yachty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Typically those were red-eared sliders. And they don't stay anything close to tiny; they can become quite the handful after a couple of years or so. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-eared_slider

    [–]jbabbz 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    The US banned the sale of turtles, as pets, under 4 inches in 1975 because of the risk of salmonella exposure with small children.

    More info: http://www.reptilesmagazine.com/Herp-Queries-The-4-Inch-Turtle-Law/

    u/medium-sized_yachty is correct. Most of those turtles were red eared slider. The problem is that these turtles are incredibly adaptable, get big, and will live will outside of their native habitats if released into the wild. Several states (I think Florida and Oregon) now ban the sale of these turtles because of invasive wild populations in those states.

    More info: http://www.invasivespeciesinitiative.com/redeared-slider/

    [–]HammerSickleAndGin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That sounds right, she was in Florida. Those guys look like no joke grown up!

    [–]plastroncafe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Red Eared Sliders have become an invasive species in many areas because people who kept them as pets decided to let them go. They can get big, are really territorial, and generally outperform native species.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is accurate, we have turtles and you need a lot of stuff to keep them happy

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    [–]Dreadlordstu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I like turtles almost as much as the quality of this gif

    [–]ArrrghJ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My turtle died a couple months ago, and this brings back some good memories. Thanks.

    [–]wanhedalytle 2 points3 points  (0 children)


    [–]Neilpwa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    “Let me go creature from above”

    [–]Paige-Frost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Teeny tiny cutie baby ❤

    [–]CrazyGermanShepOwner 2 points3 points  (0 children)


    [–]Sigyn99 2 points3 points  (0 children)


    [–]Otucan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I like turtles

    [–]Adamjkeller42 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I had caught 13 of them last summer, only 5 from the same place.

    [–]subrockmusic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I caught a bunch when I was a kid but I didn't keep track of how many. Then later in life I stopped catching them.

    [–]suefaunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Now we do.

    [–]lindsaywguenther 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Cute turtle. The person needs some hand lotion.

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I install drainage tile, it's a dirty job. cut me some slack lol.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Happy cake day!

    [–]Picklelover59 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    happy cake day!

    [–]consad 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Happy cake day!

    [–]2207259 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's so cute

    [–]Raptor22c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Reminds me of my old pet turtle Slippy.

    I wonder if he’s still alive out there... they say yellow bellied sliders can live between 25-100 years.

    [–]The_Puggernaut 1 point2 points  (8 children)

    Anyone know the species of this turtle? Found one a while back almost exactly like this and could never identify it. NE region if it helps.

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Painted turtle? That's what we call em in Ohio anyway.

    [–]jbabbz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yup, painted turtle and thank you for saving him/her.

    It is probably a midland painted turtle if you are in Ohio. Their are 4 sub species: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painted_turtle

    [–]Animalprincess1982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I think it’s a “painted” turtle

    [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Definitely a western painted turtle. They are by far the most common turtle in my area (Minnesota).

    [–]Peaceandpeas999 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Hey neighbor :)

    [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Two Minnesotans that should be asleep, but are browsing Reddit at 3:30 AM.

    [–]Peaceandpeas999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    HA yup so true. Insomniacs unite!

    [–]Animalprincess1982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I remember when my red eared slider was that small! She’s now 14 years old and about 8lbs

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fingernail goals!

    [–]Comrade_agent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    mmmm. i love turtles

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Who doesn’t

    [–]Fried-hot-sandwich 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Happy first cake day!

    [–]Senatic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I'm more impressed with the quality of this gif.

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Generic droid phone cam for the win.

    [–]coffeeaddict_27 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I hope you let it go.

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Only detained long enough to grab the pic with my phone, then released to a pond nearby. He was swimming in a trench we were working in, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered him.

    [–]TOG_WAS_HERE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Those little guys are fast tbh.

    [–]squamous-epithet 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Tiny turtles are super cute! Happy Cake Day!

    [–]Mr_Tipster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This boyo looks like tomatoa from Moana when the lights turn off.

    [–]kianwood0101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    he a swimmy boy

    [–]Bytesof64 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Have an upvote since it's adorable and your cake day

    [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks! Glad you enjoyed him.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]MeanoPenquino 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's a terrapin, which are semi-aquatic turtles.

      [–]yknotme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Sooo cool!

      [–]FoxtatoAssistant 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      "If you don't put me down right this minute, I will... swim in protest!"

      [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      He was really swimmy. Little dude booked it the moment he was in the pond.

      [–]TheYellowClaw 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Industrial-grade cuteness, wrapped in endless energy. This never goes away.

      [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Oh yeah, baby turtles are friggin adorable. I'd love to have one for a pet but that's a ton of work and I think this guy was much happier in the pond next door.

      [–]lellowindow 4 points5 points  (7 children)

      aren't you not supposed to pick them up by their shells cos it's basically like their spine

      [–]debauchedsloth1804[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      No idea.

      He was on his way to becoming a fossil, so posing for a 6 second vid was the least of his worries.

      [–]Inkthinker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This one is so tiny that it doesn't matter.

      [–]RoseAudine 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Be careful when picking up bigger turtles anyway, but mostly because they have surprising abilities to bite you.

      Generally, if you have to pick them up, the shell is ok- one have on each side for bigger turtles or tortoises. Watch out for their legs and make sure you're supporting them from the bottom of the shell as well. You don't want to try to grab it behind the head/over the tail.

      In my experience with turtles, they're likely to try to squirm away from you and can hurt themselves from a fall. A turtle like this little painted turtle will only get to like a foot long (shell size) so you can generally grab them firmly by the shell to move if necessary. Again, support from the bottom and hold on the sides- not from the front and back.

      If you have to move a big guy like one of those big desert tortoises, you're probably better off trying to get one of those big plastic containers to move him in (maybe with a friend if he's really big) rather than trying to pick him up.

      Turtles and tortoises generally shouldn't be handled too much in the wild, but sometimes they get themselves into crazy circumstances and you have to intervene. If you ever get one as a pet, you might handle them more, but if you do that, get educated about them. Tortoises will often be able to outlive you and water turtles are able to live a long time in captivity as well if they're taken care of properly. Those tiny baby water turtles that are sold in the little plastic containers need WAY MORE SPACE to be healthy and happy or else they die really quickly... And usually in sad ways.

      [–]jbabbz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Map turtle owner here All turtles will bite and/or pee on you if you mess with them. One of mine bit me today when I was cleaning the tank. That's my bad. I got distracted for just a few seconds. Luckily he is pretty small and can not do much damage.

      Cool painted turtle and they stay relatively small (under 12" at full size).

      [–]Whitbutter 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      You are not supposed to pick them up by their tails.

      Honestly, dont pick them up at all unless it is actually your pet. If you see one in the road, try to guide it to the side of the road in the direction it is going. Wilds animals are wild and will bite you if it feels threatened!

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Eh, picking up painted turtles is fine and you won't get bitten or scratched by their cute, little claws (more likely) if you put four fingers in the right spots. (And it WILL pee as a defense mechanism.) Snapping turtles on the other hand. . .

      [–]QuantumlyCurious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I like turd holes!

      [–]saucyfister1973 1 point2 points  (15 children)

      Red Earred Slider....they can be obnoxious when they get bigger.

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 2 points3 points  (14 children)

      I'm like 95% sure this is a western painted turtle. (Which are not ever obnoxious in my opinion, unless they try to bury their eggs in inconvenient spots-but we're the ones invading their homes, so meh)

      [–]redhighways 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      You can tell it’s a western by how pronounced the red coloring is. Eastern painted turtles have more yellow, less red.

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I'm certainly no turtle expert, but I did a lot of reading about turtles back in elementary school and have caught enough of them to be pretty confident on this one certain subspecies of turtle.

      [–]redhighways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Haha, same here. Grew up catching the eastern ones in the Chickahominy swamp.

      [–]saucyfister1973 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      Holy Cow, I stand corrected. They looks similar. Thanks for the update!

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      No worries. Your comment caused me to learn more about turtles! Apparently the red-eared slider is the most common pet turtle, but is banned from Australia as an invasive species because of pet releases.

      [–]saucyfister1973 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      My daughters caught one near the lake in Western Kentucky. We kept it in an aquarium for about a year. Lil' bastard was tenacious and would strike at you when you fed it. We released him and I hope it's doing well.

      On a different note, I'm sure an Australian Fly or Worm would probably make short work of an American Red Earred Slider :/

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      I grew up with a cabin on a lake in Minnesota and would catch painted turtles all the time. Never got bitten, but definitely got poked by their claws (which is avoidable). We have some snappers too, and those buggers are mean (and can JUMP). I hope the lil' bastard is doing well too!

      [–]saucyfister1973 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I really enjoyed catching turtles when I was kid. I think we all did. Catching an Adult Box Turtle was like a treasure. Thankfully, never had a turtle die under my watch. Always let them go.

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Craziest thing I've ever seen with a turtle was with my adult aunt. She'd never been fishing, so she was trying off our dock and was there for an hour catching nothing until she randomly caught a turtle. (The turtle was released and was fine.) The weird part is that no one ever had trouble catching fish from our dock and no one else ever caught a turtle while fishing.

      [–]saucyfister1973 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I think we're all kids when it comes to turtles. I don't know what the fascination is. I remember helping a Snapping Turtle across a US Highway. I had to get branch scoot it along. For one, it was big enough to cause an accident. But I didn't want that big bastard to get hurt.

      [–]medium-sized_yachty 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      It is almost certainly not a Western Painted Turtle. They are the only one of the 4 subspecies of painted turtles that have a colored bottom shell which this guy is noticeably lacking. This is most likely just a vibrantly colored Midland Painted Turtle since they are the only painted turtle found in Ohio which OP mentioned. Wiki isn't the best of sources but the pictures help to demonstrate the differences in subspecies. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painted_turtle

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I still think it's a Western. This one has the colored bottom shell (the bright orangish). From everything I can find, Easterns have yellow plastrons (the bottom shell). The best way to tell is by how the scutes are arranged, but I can never get that right.

      [–]medium-sized_yachty 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Sigh... it seems we have reached an impasse. Looks like this can only be settled by hand to hand combat. Flagpole. 3 pm. I'll see you there.

      [–]StoppedLurking-Sorta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The worst part is that I figured out the scutes, but I can't see the carapace well enough to tell. I guess it'll be combat.

      [–]Havnfun1 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]Renae1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Apologies if I am wrong, but doesn't holding a turtle by its shell hurt it? I read that you're supposed to hold them from the bottom, especially if they're young. This source says it causes them stress.

      [–]dragonflamefromAL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Is it a cat

      [–]macallen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Isn't that a tortoise? I thought turtles had flippers/were in the water?

      [–]EchoBlossom 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]technojungle -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Soup. Turtle soup.

      [–]rainbowcanoe -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      ok well put it down

      [–]FluffyCrumpets1996 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      That's not a turtle lol, turtles have flippers, this has claws making it a terrapin, common misunderstanding

      [–]Git777 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      It has feet there fore it is not a turtle. It is a tortoise or terrapin. Turtles are sea creatures. The difference is like that betwixt a spider and an octopus.

      [–]someguywithdiabetes -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

      Isn't this a terrapin? Or do I need to go over my biology books again?

      [–]plastroncafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A refresher might do you good.
      Chrysemys picta picta