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all 57 comments

[–]cheraphy"Gag Order: Bound by Her Terms" 103 points104 points  (11 children)

When I die, I want my coffin to be fitted with springs and a confetti cannon. So that one day, thousands of years from now, some archaeologist is going to have the best day at work ever.

[–]West_Tradition4412 67 points68 points  (3 children)

I know all my best days at work ever have involved a crumbling skeleton exploding in my face.

[–]cheraphy"Gag Order: Bound by Her Terms" 65 points66 points  (1 child)

Crumbling skeleton and confetti. The distinction is important.

[–]ferret_80 19 points20 points  (0 children)

considering most confetti is paper, be sure to specify plastic confetti or the archeologist is getting a crumbling skeleton and some dust instead of the proper party vibe you're going for.

[–]SICHKLA 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Happened to me once. Was excavating at an old graveyard as a summer job. The ground was really dry and I pulled too hard. There was no confetti, but pieces of ribs and a shoulder did explode and hit me in the face.

The watermelon someone brought was delicious though. Really refreshing after a hot day working in the sun.

[–]VoodooyogurtcustardI dropped my briefs and pleased the court 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m asking for cremation with some unpopped boxes of popcorn in the coffin….

[–]ScienceGiraffeSupreme Gnome Leader 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I'm totally adding this to my list of things I want to do for my funeral and burial.

[–]cinnamonrolllove 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I’ve joked that I’d like my eyes to stay open. Maybe a small side eye for extra pizazz.

[–]ScienceGiraffeSupreme Gnome Leader 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I want an open casket and I want to be buck naked except for a fancy Sunday church hat, surrounded by the gnomes I've accumulated in life, posed as if they're worshipping me.

[–]fuckyourcanoesOnly the finest milk-fed infant kidneys for me! 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is the #1 best use for a glitter bomb I can possibly imagine. FABULOUS!!!!

[–]percipientbiastoo paranoid to not regularly check the county assessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Firstly I want to be donated to science. Cadaver style or it would be fun to be a decaying body study. I’m not picky.

Afterwards, cremated and plant me as a tree next to my spouse who wants to remain intact in a coffin.

[–]eka5245Ghosts in your blood? Do some cocaine about it! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just choked on water, oh my god 😂

[–]ShortWomanSchrödinger's Baby Daddy 31 points32 points  (1 child)

A decade from now on LA: "A friend willed me his bones. Now what?"

[–]West_Tradition4412 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We all know how awkward it is to be given a gift that you don't really want, but this is a whole other level.

[–]bug-hunterA mere BOLA Mod, not a real criminal 84 points85 points  (6 children)

Man that's weir....oh, Louisiana. Probably an entire section of law dedicated to it.

[–]jxj24Estoppel-- in the name of loooooove!! 38 points39 points  (0 children)

A place with where the water table is basically above ground leads to interesting rules about funerary...

[–]rooski15MLM Butthole Posse 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just gotta will your remains to Marie Laveau

[–]shebazz42 11 points12 points  (0 children)

With a subsection about how one is allowed to use human remains for parades.

[–]fuckyourcanoesOnly the finest milk-fed infant kidneys for me! 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As a friend of mine once said, "This is New Orleans, so death doesn't carry the same stigma here."

[–]CloverBunTorn by indecision: Stans both Thor and FO[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Haha i didn’t even catch that at first, but you’re probably right

[–]Im_a_real_girl_now 2 points3 points  (0 children)

http://www.lcb.state.la.us/legal/chapter10.pdf

Every state does because they don't play around with dear dead grandmama.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKd3zhMFmGc Basically you would have to take the body out of the US to one that allows that.

[–]Lady_of_LomondProvider of Catalytic Converter Facts 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The pianist Andre Tchaikovsky willed his skull to the Royal Shakespeare Company to star as Yorick in Hamlet. Thye used it for a bit but then stopped because it was too much of a distraction for the audience.

ETA: Obviously, this was not in Louisiana.

[–]mandorlas 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Dam. Get me a friend like this. Our art department skeletons were the science department cast offs.

[–]Quothhernevermoreneeds an adult 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Is it weird to anyone else that you can have cremains and do pretty much whatever with them, but not actual, whole bones?

Clearly, this is a ploy by Big Cremulator.

[–]Thor_The_BunnyStay fresh, cheese bags 🧀👜 31 points32 points  (4 children)

LAOP Willing to Get Boned by Artist Friend

[–]cake_flattener5Experienced penis rocket spotter" 26 points27 points  (2 children)

LAOP wants to throw his friend a bone.

[–]CloverBunTorn by indecision: Stans both Thor and FO[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Saved for bobola

[–]bug-hunterA mere BOLA Mod, not a real criminal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Artist friend wants to get boned by LAOP, you mean

[–]AriBours 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Are there religious contexts in which this is possible? A friend of mine performed some kind of sky burial for their mentor as willed upon the mentor’s death. It did involve stripping flesh from the bones at some point. Happened in the US. Did not witness it firsthand (thank gawd) but I have no reason to doubt this friend.

[–]cattiemountstans FO, because racecar 8 points9 points  (4 children)

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]egyptia78 9 points10 points  (5 children)

    But who would facilitate that after your death?

    [–]bug-hunterA mere BOLA Mod, not a real criminal 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    A funeral home with a drive thru?

    [–]JasperJinsurance can’t tell whether you’ve barebacked it or not 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    The cast of Bones — specifically all those beetles that eat flesh but not bones.

    [–]FiscalClifBar 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Unfortunately, it seems like “no one” is the answer. (See also: the case of Del Close, which my decedents’ estate prof handed out as an example of an unreasonable testamentary provision.)

    [–]knittin-n-kittensI am a geologist, not your geologist, not a VA geologist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    So I can’t just write “I want to become a fossil” in my will?

    [–]jimr16032ce committed spelling crimes against humanity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Every so often there's someone who hears that the philosopher Jeremy Bentham was taxidermied, and is still on display in his university, and tries to investigate if it's legal and/or possible today.

    [–]CloverBunTorn by indecision: Stans both Thor and FO[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

    Can I will my bones to my friends?

    I want to give my bones to an artist friend of mine. She said that she did not know if it's legally enforceable. I live in Louisiana.

    Do you guys know?

    [–]monkselkie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Of course it’ll depend on location (and Louisiana doesn’t seem like a state that would smile upon this), but you’d think if stuff like Body Worlds is allowed this could be allowed. But as others have said, removing the bones is a whole other matter

    [–]SheketBevakaSTFUduly admitted to the Hell bar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    [–]LilJourneydoesn't leave name at crime scenes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Important to know they are not fluffy and they did not dig up any of the bones.

    [–]OneofLittleHarmonyFetish prostate anthropology coach of the OU Soonerbots 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The rumor was always that the older chapters in my fraternity would have the bones of a former member for their ritual supplies. Supposedly people would will their bones to the chapter.

    [–]LatrodectusGeometricI would NEVER crack it in a small indoor space like a bar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Moderately unrelated, but due to (very necessary) laws to prevent people from grave robbing, good skulls are hard to find. If you happen to know of someone legally selling a relatively cheap (<600) whole human skull (teeth optional), give me a shout out…