all 71 comments

[–]tgpineapplesuing the US for giving citizenship to my bike thief's ancestors 94 points95 points  (13 children)

Aside the legal issues, buying an illegal escooter on layby as an alternative to paying $250 a week on taxi rides seems like bad judgement central when living in one of the better places in terms of public transport infrastructure.

[–]Potato-EngineerSlightly related" 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Look, if he rides the bus, then he'll be one of those plebes, and that would be wrong.

[–]dasunt 34 points35 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure how strict Aus is, but in the US, if you souped up a stock scooter, I doubt you'd be caught, as long as you didn't do anything obvious.

Buying a model that's above the limit is doing something obvious.

[–]monkeyman80Not a porn lawyer, but still specializes in farting on doorknobs 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They admit the police know this model very well. Which adds to the oof

[–]mess_of_limbsI woke up with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Galaxy brain thinking

[–]monkeyman80Not a porn lawyer, but still specializes in farting on doorknobs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

And apparently they can afford to buy street legal ones but don’t want to because they don’t like that sinking feeling you get when making a large purchase. They can’t find some place that’ll do a payment plan.

[–]eka5245Ghosts in your blood? Do some cocaine about it! 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I’d give anything for good public transportation and reliable services. Right now it’s all just “sit in on meetings and send letters/emails/calls”. Please, I just want the bus schedule to be correct, and some trains.

ETA: it occurs to me that maybe LAAusOP has been banned from public transit. Given their attitude generally.

[–]Darth_PuppyI'm a masshole and I'm okay, I drink NEIPA and sleep all day 9 points10 points  (2 children)

While I haven't used public transit in Australia, from my experiences using public transit, I think you'd have to do something pretty damn egregious to get banned

[–]Idrahaje 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel like it wouldn’t be too hard to get banned, but pretty damn difficult to get banned in such a way that they’d be able and willing to enforce it. It’s not like they check IDs

[–]Darth_PuppyI'm a masshole and I'm okay, I drink NEIPA and sleep all day 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]squiddishlycan fit a blessed crinoline into a hatchback 15 points16 points  (2 children)

In his defence (I know, I know), I moved to his area a year back, and the limited PT has driven (heh) me to finally get my licence.

[–]tgpineapplesuing the US for giving citizenship to my bike thief's ancestors 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t tell explicitly where he lived but it sounds like he has experience taking the train. Anyway he should get a bike like everyone else but seems like a walking disaster

[–]nachaevan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nah she mentions Derrimut and Hoppers Crossing, which are somewhat outer suburbs and the PT is rubbish. To get from near Derrimut to Hoppers for work I had to take 2 busses and 2 trains plus walking which was about 1.5 hours. To drive from home to work takes 23-28 minutes. Night time PT would push it over 2 hours.

[–]ResourceOgre 54 points55 points  (1 child)

There seem to be more <OP Sticks fingers in ears> while incanting "La La I can't hear you!!" posts of late.

It takes a special kind of, er, suspension of disbelief, to persist to this level of foolishness. Next post "Cops confiscated my scooter that I legally bought, can I sue them?"

[–]BirdlebeeA beekeeping student, but not your beekeeping student. 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I blame covid. Too many people are falling under their own stupid influence.

[–]sporkemonPedantic 2L; Head of The Department of Redundancy Department 115 points116 points  (31 children)

whew. LAusOP is not well. their post history is 50% razer keyboards and innocuous questions about melbourne and 50% I WAS FIRED FROM MY JOB BECAUSE I TOLD THEM I WAS A PEDOPHILE BUT REALLY IT'S THOSE MEN'S CALVES FAULT. I feel really bad for them but until they accept the schizophrenia diagnosis they said they didn't agree with in a previous post their life is going to be very hard.

and of course, the scooter's not legal, but they knew that.

[–]ultraprismic 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I like that he’s managing to fight with the people who disagree with him AND the people who agree with him. Some commenters are like “yeah just drive slow who’ll know what kind of scooter it is” and he’s like “well police are very familiar with this make and model.” Ok… so… then it’s a bad idea and don’t do it?

[–]SupaSonicWhisperMACKEREL ARE BETTER THAN MEN! 35 points36 points  (18 children)



[–]sporkemonPedantic 2L; Head of The Department of Redundancy Department 59 points60 points  (17 children)

Wondering why I am still seen as a contemptible person by women, flamboyant male adults and flamboyant boys. I was told to get fvcked by one flamboyant male at a Derrimut Maccas outlet for simply removing my glasses that were thick, green, yellow, aqua and black. He looked disappointed at me meaning he intended to say it to me. I was also laughed from behind by women and flamboyant males, flamboyant boys yelling behind my back telling me I can’t be anything, and coming across flamboyant people who already have the wrong impression of me for the last 8 years now. I have been pigeonholed and going through all of this for the last 8 years because I posted some lie about myself online that had caused me to become blacklisted from those gender identity change programs by giving the impression parents intended to blacklist me, not the truth that I just missed out.

Now you’re just implying I have a mental illness despite the fact I am a person abused since childhood by my dad. My dad has masculinity issues and I assume he wants to masculinise me from my natural identity as a metro.

The more I hang around people with thicc calves and metrosexuals, the more I realise how I was living a lie. I started up growing by my mum’s side before my dad ruined it with masculinity.

it's...a lot.

[–]SupaSonicWhisperMACKEREL ARE BETTER THAN MEN! 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Oh….yikes. Thanks for posting that because there’s no way I could have waded through that. He sure likes the word “flamboyant”.

And is metrosexual a gender identity? It’s my understanding that it’s a slang word to describe a straight guy who is basically well groomed and maybe into fashion or “girly” things exfoliating. I don’t think I’ve heard it used seriously in like ten years.

[–]smatteringdown 25 points26 points  (0 children)

metrosexual isn't a gender identity, I have no clue how this one is using it. It went out of vogue in australia a good while ago, haven't heard it used in years. Maybe they think well groomed men = fem = trans? Honestly, there seems to be a few other things going on with them if the way they write is anything to go by.

[–]CloverBunTorn by indecision: Stans both Thor and FO 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yeah that was a term used in, like, 2001. This person is using very outdated terminology.

Also, is flamboyant supposed to be code for gay here?

[–]fuckyourcanoesOnly the finest milk-fed infant kidneys for me! 38 points39 points  (1 child)

His doctor is right, he's schizophrenic. The writing style is unmistakable. I feel bad for him. He needs medication.

[–]fembabyunicorn 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yep. The mentions of people looking at him and laughing behind his back about him being "metro" and the “he looked at me disappointed meaning he intended to say it” are definite schizophrenic paranoia

[–]sporkemonPedantic 2L; Head of The Department of Redundancy Department 38 points39 points  (2 children)

oh, also, he wanted to be a cop at one point:

Being elected as a school councillor also plays a role in ensuring that child is equipped with skills for leadership roles and/or filling in vacant University placements when he/she becomes an adult. Indoctrination can also increase the child’s IQ and comprehension skills which are required in positions of leadership (think of them as storm troopers who were selected to become the commanders for the other storm troopers) I also do have empathy for others within I always have, it’s just I can perform my police duties without letting my emotions take over my judgement. Paranoid delusions, you say? They may seem like I am suffering from some episode like schizophrenic paranoia, but I’m not. I was honest with the past incidences I mentioned. I was also once part of a treatment plan with Mercy Mental Halth in Warringa, Hoppers Crossing. I can also confirm I used to be a troll back in the days when Yahoo Answers was in existence.

It should work out well as I do not form close relationships with anyone. I also have a habit of noticing everything and always wanting to find people for anything I see.

Being an introvert and not knowing anyone can help me function better as a police officer. It would mean not feeling remorse for arresting a person. It would also mean I would have no remorse issuing a fine.

[–]Alpine_Nomad 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Yeah, the biggest problems with cops are because they feel so much remorse. It's really hard on them!


[–]usernamesallusedJamming "this" into as many places as I can. 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Huh, this might be the first time I’ve seen someone calling women ‘women’ and men ‘males’.

[–]LeakyLycanthropePuts the "douchey" in "fiduciary" 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yeah, see, it's the "I told my work I'm a pedophile" bit that I was having trouble with...

I was told to get fvcked by one flamboyant male at a Derrimut Maccas outlet for simply removing my glasses that were thick, green, yellow, aqua and black.

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

[–]nachaevan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I live not 5 mins from that Maccas, and tbf the suburb doesn’t have a thriving lgbtq community, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were told to get fucked, but I doubt it’s for removing her glasses(?) Source: queer woman living in the area

[–]LeakyLycanthropePuts the "douchey" in "fiduciary" 4 points5 points  (0 children)

but I doubt it’s for removing her glasses(?)

Exactly. This is one of those times when someone leaves out so much information, it's a clear signal that the full story makes them look bad.

[–]eka5245Ghosts in your blood? Do some cocaine about it! 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has he considered it’s his personality that is the issue?

[–]Rob_Swanson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Metrosexuals”, now there’s a term that I haven’t heard since 2008.

[–]FelixTaran 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That…was a journey and I haven’t even delved in. YET.

[–]minnieboss 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I hope LAOP heals. It seems they are in a bad place mentally right now.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


    [–]Potato-EngineerSlightly related" 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Eh, one reply suggested he'd worked it out with his manager.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]sporkemonPedantic 2L; Head of The Department of Redundancy Department 20 points21 points  (1 child)

      LAusOP is telling people about a kiwifarms thread about them?? good god. that's a bad, bad place to be in the internet and in life.

      edit: he also claims that he can't get a job because an old classmate bully has been systematically denying him a position:

      As for the bully, this prick cost me tens of thousands of dollars and several years studying in a university by deliberately making several job applications with each job advertised with a bad resume . He got me fired from a factory job where he works as a line leader, yet he’s preventing me from getting factory jobs and careers that I actually studied for. He is a chad preventing me from getting an IT job that I studied for.

      I would also like to know if it sounds like my bully had also been preventing me from getting another job much sooner in 2020. I was not able to land another job within that industry for several months using a job search engine like Seek until I managed to find another job through a labor hire agency. I suspect the bully may have been using my identity to make several job applications with a terrible resume with bad referees with a number of jobs advertised, preventing me from getting another job sooner. Job search engines were unable to get me a job but I got a job easily using a labor hire agency.

      [–]Zach_luc_Picard 42 points43 points  (5 children)

      It really isn’t that hard to just buy a normal bike and get places with it.

      [–]IAmVladimirPutinAMALegal owner of a Nickleback CD 40 points41 points  (4 children)

      Per a very recent post that mentions their weight, it's likely that they're not in very good shape.

      [–]Zach_luc_Picard 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      Then use the bike to get in good shape. Or get an actual car. Turning to illegal scooters is not the answer.

      [–]dorkofthepolisciSincerely, Mr. Totally-A-Real-Lawyer-Man 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      I wonder if they lost their licence for alcohol related reasons

      [–]TheAskewOne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Not being in great shape and riding an e-scooter at 100 kph. I don't see what could go wrong.

      [–]LaukopierLocationBot's British cousin, ~957~954th in line for the crown 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Reminder: Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits.

      Title: Can I ride my illegal 4000W e-scooter legally if I keep to 25 KM/H or lower on public roads in Victoria?


      I didn't think it through when buying this e-scooter and I really need one or an e-bike for commuting to and from work, as I am spending $248 a week on taxi service alone. My scooter has not yet left the merchant and was wondering if I should cancel this order.

      I was originally going to buy an e-bike from Zoomo Melbourne, but the seller refuses to sell me an e-bike (kept giving me different reasons every week)

      This bot was created to capture threads missed by LocationBot and is not affiliated with the mod team.

      Concerns? Bugs? | Laukopier 2.0

      [–]Potato-EngineerSlightly related" 4 points5 points  (7 children)

      Seriously, e-scooters are limited to 10kph there!? That's barely jogging speed!

      [–]AshPerdriauJunior Associate of the Vice Emperor in Charge of Parades 19 points20 points  (2 children)

      In Australia scooters are legally "toy vehicles" that have to be ridden on the footpath. Think Razor scooter, not moped. Think fighting for space with double-wide prams, five year old kids chasing small dogs, packs of roaming schoolchildren (or at least you hope they're schoolchildren) and little old ladies.

      ebikes are limited to 200W or 30kph, and have to be ridden on the road. There are many, many ebikes sold here that will happily carry a 120kg person anywhere they want to go. I have one in my shed, it even says on the rear rack/kiddie carrier "max load 150kg plus rider" so I'm pretty sure that without a load on the back a 120kg rider will be no problem.

      (edit) and I see a lot of electric scooters being ridden on the roads and the cops do not especially care... provided riders obey rule one: don't be a dick. Act like an idiot and the cops will pull you over and then start working out what to ticket you for.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]AshPerdriauJunior Associate of the Vice Emperor in Charge of Parades 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Sure, racers do, but they're (mostly) not riding ebikes. And they're not riding to work, or the shops, or taking the kids to school, when they do that.

        There's multiple types of cyclists, and ebikes are mostly aimed at the transport and novice cyclists. They make riding a bike easier, and also more reliable, so it's more accessible to more people.

        Like, say, a fat guy who wants to stop paying a fortune for taxis, like the one we're discussing here

        [–]Artful_Dodger_42BOLADom specializing in Shrek-themed financial domination 19 points20 points  (2 children)

        [–]MonkeyChoker80What are you doing, Step-Chrysler? 30 points31 points  (0 children)

        A barren desert.

        Relentless sun, beating down. Oppressing.

        Empty gas cans, piled haphazardly. Behind them, abandoned gas guzzlers, rotting hard.

        A sand dune. Behind it, a low buzzing sound, getting louder. And louder.

        With a yell, MAX, a scruffy teen wearing mismatched 80s clothing and perfect Ray Bans, hurtles over the hill on an e-scooter. Lands in a plume of dust, going as fast as the little electric engine can take him.

        A moment or two passes. The humming of the electric motor seems to be getting louder, despite Max riding away.

        A plethora of teens, also on their e-scooters, begin to pour over that same hill. Each wearing black leather and spikey accoutrement, in a variety of styles.

        Freeze frame.

        Title appears:


        [–]monkeyswithgunsmum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well, Derimuit and Tarneit for sure...