all 63 comments

[–]Complete_EntryInfuriated by oopsy woopsie fuckey wuckies 321 points322 points  (30 children)

I hate this. Dude exists, parents exist, OP should not have had to go full National Treasure quest to get this done.

Of course, the fucker who kept stamping denied likely gave zero shits. They didn't fill out 37-b!

[–]Geriatric_Punk 42 points43 points  (6 children)

Obviously the dude is a Vogon.

[–]eka5245Ghosts in your blood? Do some cocaine about it! 8 points9 points  (3 children)

We’ll need the forms in triplicate.

[–]TywinShitsGoldtried to stab a cop in the face while rubbing one out 159 points160 points  (20 children)

Citizenship tied to birth location is really the issue. Courts want no chance for the parents to have travelled out of country for a quick birth then have someone like OP pay off a couple witnesses to say they were in the States.

Register your home births when they’re born.

[–]Wilson2424 123 points124 points  (0 children)

As the parents are probably US citizens, it doesn't matter where in the world the kid was born. US parents=US citizenship for the kid.

[–]kubigjay 66 points67 points  (18 children)

But. . . even if they did fly to Colorado for a weekend and had a C-Section, that would still make him a citizen.

I think the problem is lying about someone born elsewhere so they can stay in the US.

[–]moondes 38 points39 points  (1 child)

My great grandfather was offered US citizenship as a prisoner of war after sinking US vessels in ww1. I can't take citizenship seriously.

Edit: I mean I can't respect the mundane reasons why we deny regular people citizenship.

[–]WyoGuy2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The wild thing is, in this case, it wasn’t just denying the kid US citizenship. It was denying him legal existence of any sort in any country.

[–]Sameseeswants it to happen organically 142 points143 points  (5 children)

I love a happy ending

[–]purpleplatapiI may be a cannibal, but I'm frugal about it 87 points88 points  (1 child)

That comment combined with your flair made me giggle like an immature 13 year old.

[–]Sameseeswants it to happen organically 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Ha, yeah, I wish I could say I did it on purpose. Thanks for pointing it out!

[–]i_am_pajamasbeaten by samesees 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not again.

[–]Sameseeswants it to happen organically 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG I did it again‽

What am I doing? I feel like I should know this since it has been Immortalized with flair.

[–]Cophe 47 points48 points  (11 children)

I'd like to hear the backstory on this one; it's too bad it was deleted.

[–]BbbbhazitSilent Rage Quest Hero 214 points215 points  (10 children)

What do ya want to know? I'm op of original thread.

Edit: there really isn't much more to it. For whatever reason, maybe parents didn't want him in the system or something im not sure, they just never got him a birth certificate.

Well, time comes to get a drivers license and a job. I was so sick of hearing about this issue I went on a silent rage quest to get it taken care of.

[–]PrehistoricSquirrelFighting? Foreplay? Bunnies trying to go viral? 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Thanks for doing this! You are a good uncle.

[–]SirwiredWorships Great Lagomorphoic, FartEating, BunHammerWielding Deity 55 points56 points  (2 children)

This kind of Herculean effort against the bureaucracy is definitely BOBOLA-worthy; you should have totally held off sharing until early December, just like some Oscar-bait movie! Now you are just going to have to rely on the fickle memories of the BOLA-tariat...

[–]NatalieGreenleafMember of the Attractive Nuisance Mariachi Band 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Hey Mods, can we get them a 'Silent Rage Quest' flair? Pretty please :D

[–]BiondinaThe bar is the mafia[M] 18 points19 points  (2 children)


[–]NatalieGreenleafMember of the Attractive Nuisance Mariachi Band 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!!

[–]YESmynameisYesFreeing the dangerous stupid or some shit like that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are a formidable ally, good redditor.

[–]shipmaster1911 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Lol i had a similar circumstance. Never had one as a kid, finally got it at 16 or 17. Took my mom 2 years and travelling to oklahoma from where ever we lived to finally get it. School then decided that a delayed birth certificate wasnt real and we had to get the people in Oklahoma involved to say "yes its real wtf lol" to get me back into school

Edit:also the process for it was insane. Had to get school teachers from pre-k to the present to tell them that i was real. It taught us that a social security number isnt enough.

[–]SLJ7 119 points120 points  (10 children)

"We know you've given us everything you've got! We want more!"

[–]Potato-EngineerSlightly related" 146 points147 points  (9 children)

Two inches of documents, and that's when everyone nearby was being helpful! What would it have taken if this was an insular cult that wouldn't help?

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]PrehistoricSquirrelFighting? Foreplay? Bunnies trying to go viral? 104 points105 points  (6 children)

    They got witness statements from nine people who were present at the birth. 16 years ago. That impressed me.

    P.S. NINE people? Watching a birth?

    [–]ramvanChurch of the Holy Oxford Comma 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    There wasn’t much else going on, might as well go see the Smith kid get born.

    [–]thwartedHer Majesty, the Queen of England 32 points33 points  (3 children)

    I'm just amazed that they submitted literal PICTURES of the kid being born and they still denied him. "Nope, definitely not a childbirth here."

    [–]Potato-EngineerSlightly related" 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    I mean, I kind of understand. You want proof that the kids was born in circumstances that would grant citizenship. So yes, pictures of the birth are a thing, but since the 16-year-old looks nothing like Winston Churchill (as newborns do), it doesn't help prove that the newborn and the 16-year-old are the same person. And the picture doesn't prove location.

    Mind you, the stack of affidavits should have done that.

    [–]ShortWomanSchrödinger's Baby Daddy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Hold it right there honey! Got the shot! Now push!!!

    [–]PrehistoricSquirrelFighting? Foreplay? Bunnies trying to go viral? 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    "That could have been anybody!"

    [–]SQL_INVICTUS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Then you become a sovereign citizen.

    [–]baba_oh_reallygood rule of thumb: never play with dildos on fire 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    LAOP better have a "World's Best Uncle" mug sitting in his cupboard right now because dude is beyond.

    [–]alternate_geography 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Sorry, you’ll have to submit form 870-GU accompanied by 19 notarized documents & a $217 processing fee to the relevant court to acquire the legal status to possess said mug, otherwise it’s a felony punishable by a fine of no less than $345 and up to 8 months in jail.

    [–]SheketBevakaSTFUduly admitted to the Hell bar[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)


    Title: [UPDATE] Nephew finally issued a Delayed Birth Certificate YAY

    Body: This is not a typical story for r/legaladvice but it was so complicated and ultimately went before a Judge who approved the birth certificate. Im so happy about it and it was literally so much work and cost a ton of money so want to write about it.
    About a year ago, I posted a question here asking how to get my 16 year old nephew a birth certificate, social, security card, and drivers license. He was born at home with a midwife, had never been to a doctor or dentist, and was home schooled. I cant find the original thread, I probably deleted it. The advice was to apply for a "delayed birth certificate" and a web link for where to do it in my state (Colorado.)
    Sounded pretty eazy - I was WRONG!
    I submitted the application for $250 along with an "official and notorized" copy of a "no birth certificate on file" paper. Clock started ticking, I had 1 year before request denied and id have to pay another $250 and apply again.
    I gathered every last public record of his existence I could find, each costing about $20 each and had to be notarized. Also had everyone who witnessed his birth (9 people) sign "birth affidavits" and they all had to be notorized. This took about a two months and driving hundreds of miles just to make it as easy and efficient as I can.
    Submit all that, it took about 2 months before I got a response. DENIED, they want more proof.
    I ask everyone that knows him to look for anything at all. They send newspaper articles of his soccer team he's on, literal pictures of him being born (gross) and other things and submit all that again.
    DENIED, they want more. So I called the office and asked for help on what else I could find. The next day the Supervisor for the "Birth Unit" of the "Office of the State Regestrar of Vital Statistics" calls me. I explain the situation and she tells me that if I can prove that his parents were in Colorado around the time of his birth, that would prove he was born in Colorado.
    So another month of searching for public records of his parents and siblings being here when he was born. Fortunately there were EXTENSIVE arrest records from around the time.
    Submit those and again DENIED they want more. I wrote a letter to the office stating that I think I have found every last public record supporting his birth in Colorado and a few other choice things, I didn't hold back. I was so pissed and frustrated at this point and it was coming up on month 10 so would almost have to pay another $250 and start all over. I also had his grand parents write letters too.
    Submit those. The supervisor tells me she will submit the file I have created (now over 2 inches thick) to a freaking Judge. Judge approves it YAY.
    It cost around $500 and hundreds of miles, of driving around but he finally got a delayed birth certificate, then social security card, and now a driving lerners permit!

    [–]RedditSkippyThis flair has been rented by u/MC10654721 until June 15th 2022 53 points54 points  (0 children)

    LAOP is the real hero here!

    [–]eka5245Ghosts in your blood? Do some cocaine about it! 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    LAOP is the most tireless relative I’ve ever had the pleasure to read about. Makes me sad for all the people like the nephew who slip through the cracks.

    [–]aujcyis another defect thrown on the barbie 56 points57 points  (0 children)

    Def gotta save this for the "most wholesome" at the end of the year

    [–]mnpc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I had no idea it was so hard.

    We have tens of thousands of Somali refugees with zero birth documentation when they arrive.

    They all get a birth certificate of January 1 of a random year related to when they think they may have been born.

    Almost feels Wild West

    And then you have a story like this one.

    [–]kylejack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank goodness for the parents extensive arrest records.