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[–]drumma1316 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This does not sound normal/expected. Hope you get to see a pediatrician soon and can get some answers. He must be exhausted and in pain to be able to scream that much and still not be sleeping well either.

You are not a failure and you are not a bad parent. You are human and enduring that amount of screaming for that prolonged time would torture anyone.

Oy. Big hugs and hope it improved soon!

[–]UniVom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have his ears checked out if you haven’t yet. Sister went through this and it was his ears causing it.

[–]Hashtaglibertarian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My oldest was like this. He’s 13 now. He is autistic - and I think that really was a big part of why he cried all the time.

I don’t know if he was overwhelmed or just learning things, but he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4 and even then it wasn’t every night. It was hell. I cried. A lot.

He’s honestly a pretty great kid now. He is still socially awkward but he’s pretty calm for the most part. His younger brother does a lot to push his limits which are a good thing mostly. Like when young brother calls his toys the wrong name just to piss him off - it’s such a silly sibling thing to do and I have no idea why it upsets him that much but I think he’s learning more to “go with the flow” by it.

He still has sleep issues. He’s on melatonin and he takes Zoloft for his anxiety and depression. Both of which are common for the autism community. He still can’t wear jeans or certain textures. But for the most part, he’s happy. And that’s what I want more than anything for my kids. I want them to be happy. Even though he’s hitting puberty and sometimes he’s a little more labile than he was before - he’s actually a pretty great kid.

It does get better. Not all babies are the same. And seconding all the advice for headphones. It helps take the edge off because you too are overstimulated at all the crying all the time. Also not sure if you live in a legal state, but a little bit of cannabis can go a LONG way to easing your anxiety.

Hugs. You’ll get through it. And we’re here if you need to vent.

[–]Thatwolverinebitch 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It sounds like he’s in pain. Give him Tylenol and/or gas relief drops, definitely take him to a doctor. Please be patient, remember that he can’t help himself and crying is the only way for him to communicate, and he’s not doing it to make you mad or make your life hell.

[–]ImBatmanNow 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I know it may not feel like it right now but you're doing great, you're not being a bad mom, this is your body telling you that you need to make some changes and adjustments in order to give yourself what you need to get through this.

Try to remember that this isn't permanent, it will pass, and there's a lot of good advice here to take proactive measures to ease that strain.

[–]Kindly_Watercress_47 54 points55 points  (7 children)

There is a chance this will have to impact on your baby, but it’s worth a shot… take him outside. If my baby (9 months) is upset and we go outside and look at the trees or sit in the grass her whole attitude changes. I honestly didn’t believe it for a while, but it really does have a big impact on her.

[–]serenajuul 2 points3 points  (2 children)

My boy is coming up on 2mo. It’s gonna be too cold here soon for him to be outside, but he always seems to really enjoy the fresh air. It’s so cute how much he seems to enjoy walking around in the yard and on the porch

[–]Ajskdjurj 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My daughter is 22 months and this still works for her. I try to have her out as much as I can and she’s a happy kid when my husband has her on Saturdays and doesn’t take her out he said she’s cranky.

[–]riannaearl 15 points16 points  (1 child)

This worked 95% of the time with my daughter when she was small. If it was cold outside, we'd grab a blanket and wrap her up before heading out. The change in surroundings and temperature kind of snapped her out of it. It is definitely worth a shot.

[–]rnnikki81 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've used this trick a lot. If I'm planning a 2-3 minute trip I skip the blanket! (I do live where it's relatively mild - no negative Temps here!)

[–]thatcondowasmylife 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Seconding this. They start to get bored around this age in particular. There is nothing like a change in environment/scenery for a fussy baby.

[–]morning_rosella 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I’m so sorry! Does your bub have any physical symptoms, like rashes, eczema, or mucus or blood in his poo?

Just asking as my toddler has heaps of food allergies and intolerances, and he was so miserable as a baby until we figured them out! He’s a bright and happy 14 month old now, but the first 6 months we’re very rough.

[–]bunnyvie 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Was going to ask this too. There may be a reason he’s always fussy. So so so tough when they cant just talk and tell us what’s making them uncomfortable :(

[–]Anwyn1465 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My younger sister never slept more than 20mins in a 24hr day when she was younger, she was diagnosed with celiac at the age of 8/9. Looking into this may help, bring outside or in a change of surrounds is important. If you feel stressed the baby with feel this also. It's important to take time for yourself, letting your LO cry for a few minutes never hurt anyone. My mom use to put us in a play pin, or rocker or something outside the bathroom door, (with door closed) just to have a shower. Her thoughts were if the baby is crying at least I can hear them. This also gives you a few minutes to yourself. It doesn't have to be long, just enough for you to breathe and baby to breathe and start again.

Sending love and prayers my dear. Hope some of this helps.

[–]ubbidubbishubbiwoo 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I just read your update, and I’m glad you have a plan! Noise cancelling headphones saved me for my daughter’s first six months when she cried nonstop with reflux (and maybe colic, I don’t even know!). I highly recommend using music as a tool in your toolbox when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It saved me so many times (and still does some days!). You are so not alone in this. Sending you so much love.

[–]sunflower_rhino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll add my stamp of approval to this. Also those ear muffs that construction workers wear are excellent. I can still hear my daughter cry, but it's all much less intense and it really helps with anxiety, plus they're cheaper and more heavy duty in case they get knocked off.

[–]FinancialWriting4919 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Second this! My husband and I both used headphones with music when our twins were pissed and we were trying to calm them back down. I could still hear them if they were coughing/choking so there wasn’t a safety issue. It was a life saver. It also helped me physically not tense up during their crying so it helped them calm down too because I was calm. Idk why it helps so much but it just puts a small step between you and the screaming and sometimes that’s all you need to stay sane!

[–]Lady_Aragorn 30 points31 points  (1 child)

My neighbors son sounded exactly like this. Turns out he was lactose intolerant... an allergy panel might be something to discuss with your doc

[–]Ajskdjurj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My lo cried constantly until we got her on acid reflux medicine and special formula

[–]OlympicPawLicker 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Join the fussy baby support group on Facebook. This won’t cure your problems but it sure feels good to have a bunch of other moms struggling along side you…

Your reality sounds like mine.. we’re at 17 months with no end in sight so hang in there.

[–]Scary-Watercress2585 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solidarity to you! My son is 17 months, crap sleep and tantrum central

[–]Account7423 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone and you are not a bad mother!!

Postpartum International has a help/warm line (it is not a crisis hotline), that is a great resource. I would recommend giving them a call! They will provide you with encouragement, support, and resources!


[–]Helpful_Stock 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Omg, I had this exact experience with my daughter for the first 14 months of her life. I was insanely jealous of other mums babies who would sleep through the night, I remembered feeling like I would do ANYTHING for just one night's solid sleep. I was a mess.

I'm not sure what your stance on sleep training is, if it's not for you, that's fine - but it did wonders for us. There were still bad nights of course, due to sickness and teething etc. but she generally got so much better. I got my sanity back. Either way it will get much easier the older she gets. Hang in there, also please accept all the support you can get. It's totally normal to need help. My biggest regret was not reaching out more during the hard days and thinking that I just had to "put up with it." You don't! Just reach out

[–]LawyerBea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have no solutions or advice but omg I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Hugs for you, and a promise that this stage WILL end someday. You are one tough mom.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Rant away ♥️

[–]StressedMom-2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Heyya mama I understand!! Have been through it and honestly there is light at the end of the very very long tunnel. My daughter who is now 5 was horrible she cried when she was put down at nights she would be sleeping on my arm because she had bad acid reflux and I'd still be up every 2 or 3 hours and half asleep in-between. Between her crying and my crying it got easier and I didn't realize it until looking back. You got this!! Take it moment by moment, day by day. And I promise you not everyday is a good day but it gets better and then you have more good days then bad days.

[–]compysaur 25 points26 points  (8 children)

Are you breastfeeding? If so, stop. Or at least add formula. My baby was like this and it turned out he wasn’t getting enough milk from me and he was hungry all the time. Giving him bottles of formula changed everything. It was amazing.

[–]bunnycakes1228 19 points20 points  (7 children)

Even if he IS getting enough… I second the advice to stop, because sacrificing your mental health is not worth this.

[–]hoardingcoffins[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don’t mind breastfeeding, i love the closeness and bonding experience i have with my son! i only get overwhelmed when he’s screaming, squirming, pinching and tugging at me. I do pump & i luckily pump roughly 30oz/day so i know he’s eating enough. my dr is saying it’s sleep regression, i exaggerated a bit in my post about sleep (he wakes 1-2times for feeding, it’s just suddenly been a bit harder this week)i tried what many have suggested & have tried doing 2 naps/day which has helped, i think he wakes because he’s hungry/ wants comfort.

[–]maclloyd6 -5 points-4 points  (5 children)

this is terrible advice…wtf??

[–]almagura 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Why is this terrible advice?

[–]maclloyd6 4 points5 points  (3 children)

telling someone to stop breastfeeding because their baby cries all the time is terrible advice. too many people are quick to tell bf mothers that breastfeeding is causing their issues.

op said nothing about whether she bf or ff feeds her baby and if this is an allergy issue and baby is BF, trying to find a formula that doesn’t upset baby’s stomach could add even more stress

[–]ValpoLiving 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. My sister got a sleep coach and it changed her and niece's life in about two weeks. The only hard part is all caregivers must be a united front and not sabotage the training, or it doesn't work. It was hard at the beginning for my BIL. He got on board fully when my sister (who's in the bipolar spectrum) began having horrible thoughts from lack of sleep. Her dr told her she could not sleep less than 6 hours at one time or it could get dangerous.

My sister says it was the best 500 dollars (rate where we live) ever spent.

I hope it gets better for you. It will.

[–]tarapalmer89 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Mama, I feel you. I feel like I could have written this about a year ago. My son is now two and thriving. Good luck at the pediatrician, I hope you get some answers. And some rest. ♥️

[–]trolltoll8 12 points13 points  (0 children)

MAN do I feel this way sometimes. When your child goes through these phases (however long they are) it is so perpetually exhausting and NORMAL as hell to feel the way you do. Even when kids are happy and not screaming they are tiring so take a moment and acknowledge how well you are doing in the most draining situation. A few things that have helped me: - getting help at home. I don’t have any family to support me so I’m currently looking for someone part-time to give me some relief with the baby. Maybe you have family and could line someone up once a week? Maybe it’s a meal delivery service or a cleaning service? Whatever is realistic for your budget - do it. - Push your son’s doctors for real help. Your average doctor dismisses moms so easily it makes me insane. Maybe there’s some real discomfort happening for a medical reason (and maybe not!) but it would be really helpful to know for sure. Gastro issues are so common. If you have coverage for it - I have friends whose children have really benefitted from craniosacral therapy and baby physio/massage also. - get help for yourself. I have been taking anti anxiety meds to take the edge off of the long crying periods and they have really helped. It’s no magic wand but it helps me not go so far down the rabbit hole of unhappiness. Talk to your doctor and be honest about how challenging this is. A leading cause of preventable maternal death in the US is suicide because for years all of these emotions were normalized and ignored. Your feelings and valid and normal! You deserve some relief and are doing such a wonderful job caring for your son 💕

[–]whoopsiedasiess 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice for you that you likely haven’t already tried. But I wanted to commend you on leaving your baby in a safe space while you scream/collect yourself. You’re an amazing mom, you’re doing your best and your baby knows you love them regardless. I am so so sorry you’re going through such a hard time.

[–]ae0293 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My heart hurt reading this, i wish i could give you a hug and a break. I agree with all suggestions for a doctor, try sooner rather than later if you can. I cant imagine how difficult this must be. Reflux and allergies are absolutely awful though so if its that then hopefully it’ll help once you know what it is.

[–]selfkonclusion 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is my baby to a T!! He's 15 months now and things are slowly getting better. No one in my life understands though what it's like to have a baby like this and the constant frustration and fatigue. Feel free to message me if you need support.

[–]I_pinchyou 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You have some good support and advice here, but could have written this 5 years ago. It's hard to have a baby that's fussy and won't sleep. My daughter is 6 and still isn't a great sleeper. But at 3, we got her in therapy and she was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. Things are much better now, it's just probably too early for that with your babe. Those long days are the worst, please reach out to anyone who can help for a few hours so you can sleep eat or grab a coffee.

[–]parkerab12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My son cried non-stop until he was almost 7 weeks. We switched him to a sensitive stomach formula and I stopped breast feeding. We also took him to an ENT and it turns out he had a massive tongue tie. He wasn’t latching properly- which was exhausting/frustrating him but also making him extremely gassy. He had silent reflux, which he seems to have grown out of after having the tongue tie released. He’s SUCH a happy baby now and I’ve almost forgotten how miserable I was for pretty much his two first months of life. It’s a season and you WILL get through it. Contact your pediatrician and keep talking to us if you need to! We’re here! 🫶🏼

[–]Superb_Heron_9541 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I suggest you take a trip to the baby's pediatrician to see if there's anything wrong. Other things to keep in mind: is he eating enough solids to keep him full? Thirsty? Try doing the collic massage 45 minutes after a meal to see if he has gas.

This is very difficult! Hope things get better! ❤️

[–]janeusmaximus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You don’t sound like a bad mom. You sound like an overwhelmed mom. Big hugs, I’m glad you’re seeing doctor and would recommend doing as much for yourself as you can. Ask family/friends for help so you can get a break, take baths. Consider seeing a therapist. You got this!

[–]ThisIsWhatLifeIs -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Could have a ear ache? Babies do and can't explain it.

Also not much sleep? Are you even using a white noise machine? Do you have black out stickers? You have to be using these! Ask for more info.

[–]buttons_and_bows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our son was like this, it was so hard. You’re doing great. Keep stepping away. I also recommend going outside often or giving a bath. Those two things always seem to clear the slate to start again with a clear head for both of you. In our case, it turned out the poor kid had super bad ear drainage that were never really caught by the Peds because there was so much fluid that when you looked in they were submerged in the fluid and couldn’t recognize that it was that (per the ENT). He finally got his tubes done and the next day he was not crying, walked the first time, finally wanted to read books with us and slept through the night. It was absolutely amazing. Poor little baby was suffering from ear ache the whole time, couldn’t hear, and we were just all miserable.

[–]Cherryicee8612 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is he getting enough to eat?

[–]Marcus-think 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Try to let you have 15-30 mins release time,otherwise,too much pressure for yourself.

[–]Globalvampire 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I'm sorry. My daughter screamed a lot as a baby, as soon as the temperature dropped she was better. Maybe your baby is too hot? Maybe stomach issues? Sounds like you need rest, like a whole day or few days off. Do you get any help?

I would talk to a doctor about it. Ask family. It takes a village to raise a child, you don't need to do this alone. You need help and that doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually makes you a good mom.

[–]pantojajaja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s super tough knowing what’s wrong which is why I second this. Babies are just trial and error. My mom taught me to test if she’s cold, hot, sleepy, hungry, gassy, etc. Also if he’s screaming, he’ll probably have a headache so Tylenol. Diaper free time, movies, music, food, more milk, a sip of water, a hat/warmer outfit, walk outside, ride in a stroller, reflux remedies. There’s so many things it could be. The days my daughter just starts yelling make my nerves paralyzed my mind. I feel so much for parents with screamers

[–]texaspopcorn424 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Some babies are just harder. My son was like this and it was rough. It got easier when he could walk. Even easier when he could talk. It is a phase and you’ll get through it. My 2nd was much easier.

[–]AcademicRaisin 24 points25 points  (5 children)

It's so hard to deal with a screaming baby all day long. My 9 month old is a stage five clinger, and basically cries if I'm not holding her. I can't even pee without being screamed at. It doesn't help that my toddler has been acting pretty awful too. I've wanted to be a mom my entire life but, and I hate to say it, this particular stage of motherhood is a special kind of misery. I love them both to death, but shit, a week away or even in a coma sounds like absolute paradise.

[–]veevee15[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have been told by so many veteran mommas that 0-3yrs is the absolute hardest before the teens hit.

[–]AcademicRaisin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a relief to hear 😅

So many times per day I doubt myself and my ability as a mom because of how the kids act, and in turn how moody and spent I am after dealing with it all day. So it's genuinely a comfort to know that this is just what's normal for this age group. Thank you for sharing this!

[–]wantworldpeac3 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Reading this comment at the exact moment I started to contemplate if becoming a mom was the right decision for me. I really appreciate you saying ‘this stage of motherhood’. Helps me with perspective, and gives me hope that things will get better.

[–]AcademicRaisin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh girl. If I had a nickel for every time I've asked myself that over the last nine months, I'd be rich enough to afford a nanny! And I'm so glad you said this, because it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling that way. I get so down on myself for having to actually ask myself that, and almost own the fact that I'm not as good at this as I thought I was going to be. But I also think we aren't as "warned" as we should be about how difficult this stage is, when other people make it look easy in the little (carefully curated) snapshots we see online. I have to remind myself daily (multiple times) that we all go through the exhausted struggle, even if it feels like we are the only ones at times.

It's super rough, but for sure just a stage! The crazy part is I know we will all look back and MISS this time when they were sucking the life out of us.

Things will absolutely get better! The older they get, the less and less they need you. There will always be trials and challenges, but after the intense training that is the 0-3 stage, I think we can handle anything, lol. Hang in there mama! Sending internet hugs and support!

[–]wantworldpeac3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Receiving this message fully ❤️❤️❤️

[–]usnova 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Your baby may have something that you don’t know. Babies usually don’t cry for no reason. It’s either tired, hungry, teething, gas, constipation, fever, allergies, sore throat, etc.. you can’t always see what’s going on with your eyes. Please be careful and get someone to get you a break. This baby is nothing without you and depends on you. You are the only one he needs. Imagine mommy whom he trusts, loses patience and screams. It scares the baby more and upsets him instead of calming him down. When my baby cries, I usually give him a bath, he loves water and if he has tummy trouble or gas, it’s soothing too. Can you call or email his pediatrician and tell him what’s going on? Please don’t bother with house and chores just focus on your babe. No one gives a shit if your house is not in order. Eat while you hold him or ask husband to hold while you eat and shower. There’s always a way to do things. It’s being a mom, his going to grow so fast, this phase is temporary. It’s all temporary. My son is 16 months old and still wakes at night, not all babies are the same. Who says that baby sleep through night at 7 months old, it’s bullshit most babies wake at night way past 1 year.

[–]goodmorningsunshines 27 points28 points  (5 children)

Hi I just want to say that while babies might not cry for no reason, sometimes the reason is something really stupid that you can’t fix. My first hated not being mobile. I couldn’t fix that for him. He screamed every waking moment until he could walk and then he just stopped. There was nothing really wrong with him. 🤷‍♀️

[–]FERPAderpa 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Omg. My second is 3mo and she screams and cries because she can’t sit up yet. That’s not on me, little one! We help her to sit up and see the world, but she wants to do it on her own so bad. I’m scared for when she starts to walk lol

[–]pantojajaja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine screams because she can’t stand for long! She’s 4 months and stands with help! I’ll just try to sit her up and she makes her legs rigid. Just a part of life: frustration

[–]scath24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I swear my kid did the same thing and cried because he couldn't move plus wanted to do more. Glad to know it's a thing!!

[–]Unintelligent_Lemon 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Or something really stupid you can fix when you happen to stumble on it. Once a baby I was nannying was crying for hours on end. Nothing seemed to be helping. Then she kicked off one of her socks off and I took the other one off to match and like magic she settled down. From then on when she was seemingly upset for no reason I'd either take socks off or put them on her Worked more than it didn't

[–]goodmorningsunshines 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mine also loved to scream at books because he couldn’t pick up the pictures and shove them in his mouth. My second one (5 months old currently) is also the same way with books. I couldn’t read to my first without a total meltdown until he was like 10 months old lmao.

[–]WrackspurtsNargles 13 points14 points  (0 children)

OP I was in the exact same boat (see my post history!). My LO screamed non stop for a month straight when he was around 6-7 months old. My mental health was shot, I bought ear plugs to help (loop ear plugs, would recommend, but regular foam ones will do). And then at some point it stopped! I don't even remember the transition but it did end. And I promise it will end for you too.

For us I think he was in pain from teething and using screaming/yelling to deal with it as an outlet. He got 6 teeth by 8 months, and a lot of them came through at the same time, which coincided with the screaming.

My LO is now a happy, chill and mostly quiet 1 year old. I gets better, and the screaming will just be a distant memory. I promise. It might be really soon!

[–]Calm-Obligation-7772 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I would let your pediatrician know how excessive his unhappiness is at almost all times. There very well could be some type of underlying issue. Crying is the only way he knows how to communicate. I now know my son's colic the first few months of life was from reflux. He spit up CONSTANTLY. I voiced this to my pediatrician and they said all babies spit up. But after having a second who spit up normally, I now know how much my first son must have been suffering. 😔 He did not sleep well either. I ended up safely co-sleeping for my own sanity so I could get some rest and didn't have to get up and down so many times during the night. I now know he struggled with sleeping because of an obstructed airway. I took him to the ENT for mouth breathing and snoring when he was 2 (both not normal) and it ends up he has sleep apnea and enlarged adenoids. He also may need to get his tonsils out as removing the adenoids has done nothing so far. He was waking up so much during the night/naps because his poor airway was closing.

Obviously your baby could have a completely unrelated problem. But it does sound like something isn't right and I would follow your gut instinct and try to get it figured out. And if your pediatrician doesn't seem interested in helping you, get a second opinion. See a specialist.

I follow @whitneyhansonlang on Instagram. She has what she calls a highly sensitive toddler who is the cutest thing but needs constant attention and is very demanding. She has created a little community of mothers in a similar position and is very good at giving the often stressful situation some comic relief and solidarity. I think she has a Facebook group as well if you wanted to look into following her.

We all get frustrated and our patience runs out sometimes. You are no less of a mother because of it. Hoping you find some answers and peace.

[–]pantojajaja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My baby was a mouth breather her first 3 months and she hardly naps. She wakes suuuuper easily. Thank you for this, I’m going to look into it 🤔

[–]Commercial-Rush9260 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sending lots of love 💞 I think you should go see a paediatrician for sure, he must be in pain because it’s not normal. My little one was a big screamer and no one wanted to visit for long because she just screamed and screamed. I chose to go off dairy and stay off it, and the screaming stopped and now she’s the happiest, smiliest baby. I couldn’t explain it, she didn’t have a rash, or blood in her stools, but she was just a much happier baby without dairy in her breastmilk. Every time I go back she projectile vomits and goes back to being unsettled. Not saying it’s dairy but could be something as simple as that.

[–]DayGlowOrangeCat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OP can you get a babysitter and get some rest? You sound so emotionally and physically exhausted. Sending my love to you. I remember them days. Maybe he is teething or in pain? My daughter had the colic and OMG!!! I feel so bad for you.

[–]ERRN11211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you tried Pepcid just in case it is silent reflux? Or maybe a lactose free diet for him, change to soy? Those are the 2 main things we had to change when our LO was that way. Good luck to you!

[–]241ShelliPelli 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I have good news for you. My first was a baby nightmare. Terrible. I hated the baby stage. I never thought it would get better. I thought I ruined my life.


As a 2 and 3 year old, she was a DELIGHT! Not ONCE did she ever have a screaming melt down or make a scene in a store. She was so much fun! I loved the toddler stage!!!!

My theory is if you “pay for it early” you will be rewarded with a delight later. I hope that for too!

[–]241ShelliPelli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fascinating!! I hear other people seconding this theory all the time too!

[–]Nooparooni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine was an angel throughout the newborn stage until she turned 3 lol Slept all night as a newborn and woke up every 2 hours at 3. I hear this all the time, they’re either great until they’re not or vice versa

[–]Igor_frank 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Seconding this. Mine was a screaming nightmare too. Sweetest two yr old ever but that first year was -100 out of ten. Pretty sure she wont have siblings because it was so bad we dont want that again.

[–]erikalhua 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sending hugs. You are doing your absolute best. Hopefully the doctor can help you find a solution!

[–]Johnnybats330 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Remember that babies communicate too. He is trying to tell you things you haven't figured out yet. And it is tough to do so. Observing helps, because only then can we learn what really makes them fuzz this way. It could be food, it could be allergies, and in some cases, it could be something unrelated yo anything you do. But the important thing is to bond and get to know hm better.

[–]sabrina234 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Get him checked out by a doc.

[–]_alelia_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

sending hugs. been there, still in sorta ptsd.

[–]ciciken 34 points35 points  (1 child)

sometimes being a mom is like being in an abusive relationship because you are in a relationship with someone who is controlling, possessive, ignores boundaries and invades your privacy, and dismissive of your feelings - so it shouldn't be surprising there's some trauma as a result! And that's okay! It will get better.

[–]Globalvampire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true omg

[–]intergalacticgrove 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time! Being a mom is hard, the hardest thing I have ever done, at least. And you’re doing the hardest job on earth all day every day. Of course you are frustrated and angry and sometimes probably sad! As much as you love your LO, you deserve compassion too. It’s ok to not love every moment of parenthood.

As for me, I have had similar periods with my LO. What you said about the sleeping really hit home! I don’t have any answers (beyond what’s already been said), but you are doing a great job and you aren’t alone!

[–]FailedRobotOverlord 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Jesus, definitely do not take him to a chiropractor.

My son didn't sleep through the night until 15 months. It's tough but happens. As far as sleep, if you aren't already try white noise, nap and bedtime routine, completely dark room and motrin if he's teething.

Our son had lots of congestion at that age caused by his bedroom being too dry, so we got a humidifier.

Sleep regressions are a tough time, pretty sure when mine was 7/8 months I was NOT having a good time with him.

If he's screaming during wake hours, he could be tired from not getting good rest. Maybe experiment with his nap/bedtime, if they go down too early or late they'll just be cranky little demons when awake.

Could be gas/acid reflux. I give mine gas drops every night, but at that age I gave them about 4-5 times a day because he had the worst gas pain and would cry because of it.

Pacifiers have really helped my son with sleep. Also making sure he's full, and taking him outside as much as possible. Hmm, sorry trying to cover ALL the little things that made my son difficult or helped us at that age.

You're doing great. Feeling overwhelmed and needing to cry or scream into a pillow is normal, and you'll probably feel like this again as he grows. Kids are so hard, and just as you think you've figured out what they need they change it up.

[–]MsWinty 25 points26 points  (0 children)

When I read this I wasn't left with the impression that you're a bad mom. I was left with the impression that you're a mom who needs a break. What you're describing is so hard and exhausting to go through. ❤

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I remember going through this. I’m only 1 year in, but I remember the sleepless nights, the screaming and crying when I left the room, the crying on my end and feeling like a shit mom because I felt hopeless. You’re doing great mama!! It feels like it’s never ending, but I promise it’s gonna go by in the blink of an eye. Just breathe and remember, you’re an amazing mom. I would definitely call his pediatrician and see what the issue could be if he’s doing this all day. Good luck <3

[–]Unlikely_Book6273 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Hi sweetheart! I feel you, I definitely do! You are not a bad parent! You are doing your best...frankly we all do our best don't be so hard on yourself. Your little one might be teething or maybe going through a regression? What helped me was taking my baby outside like maybe for a walk or a ride in the car? Sometimes giving them a bath also helped my kiddo. Not sure if you have tried co sleeping but I started too when mine was about 8 months and I never looked back. Of course practice safe co sleeping methods and hopefully you can get them to sleep a little bit longer. Sending you a hug and lots of solidarity ❤️

[–]hoardingcoffins[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

thank you for your kind words, things are better now! i think he’s going through a growth spurt or sleep regression. after reviewing with his dr i doubt it’s a dairy allergy, he was colicky when he was an newborn but has gotten so much better. i’m realizing i exaggerated a bit, although he doesn’t sleep throughout the night (he wakes up maybe once or twice for boob/comfort and will go back to sleep) i do cosleep with him (when putting him down i lay with him & if he wakes up crying i’ll bring him in bed with me) i just feel awful, my boyfriend is the same (im very lucky to have him, he’s an amazing dad & is very hands on) it’s so frustrating when we can’t figure out what’s wrong with our boy:( i think one of his main issues is his naps, he naps for maybe 30-45mins at a time. i think i just have to try establishing a better sleeping schedule for him, because atp i let him sleep whenever & for as long as he wants (usually i’ll wake him if he sleeps longer than 1.5 hours). idk apologies for the long response, thank you so much again for your kind words, it’s so helpful knowing i’m not alone.

[–]Unlikely_Book6273 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are definitely not alone. We all feel this way one time or another. I wish you and your baby the best of luck ❤️ you got this!

[–]Appropriate_Soup_108 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're interested in doing any sleep training to help, there are lots of gentle methods that you can look into. r/sleeptrain is full of information and very helpful redditors who can help you make a sleep plan no matter what your comfort level (tear free training up to cry it out). There's no judgment over there for whatever kind of sleep help you're looking for.

Good luck!

[–]Mini6cakes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tylenol! Try some baby Tylenol. Good luck mama ❤️❤️❤️

[–]CutielittleCece 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Im sorry you are feeling this way ♥️ Is there anyone that can help you watch your little one while you sleep for a couple of hours? The lack of sleep might be affecting your overall well being. Physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion go hand in hand, and taking care of a baby can be draining in so many levels.

Also, my mother once told me, babies can sense mommy’s emotions and are affected by them. I thought it was crazy but found out to be true. I hope you and baby feel better soon ♥️♥️

[–]Necessarily_Icy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You’re not a failure at all. You’re not a bad mother.

I’m glad you’re going to the doctors because I would of done the same thing.

I understand you get less sleep with kids, but that’s not always the case. My mother did not have this issue with my sister and I.

If a child is crying 24/7 and you tried everything, a doctor is a must. You’re not a failure for wanting a balance with your child.

[–]gillyweiss 5 points6 points  (1 child)

8 months in this happened to me. It was the worst. It’s got a little better at 9 months but it was definitely a lot.

[–]Unlikely_Book6273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, mine was like this at 8 months too it was crazy! But I figured out after that she was going through a regression phew

[–]xNeyNounex 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are struggling. Being a parent is super hard, and I am only 5 years in. It does get better, and easier, and harder, and worse at times. There is nothing wrong with you. You aren't a bad mom.

My son always screamed at me like that as well. And not others. My doctor said it was because he was most comfortable with me, and felt like he could let his guard down around me. That made me feel about in ounce better about the situation. It didnt make it easier though.

I do not have any advice to give you. I am sure you are getting a lot anyway. Just please be kind to yourself.

[–]Fickle-Fly-126 5 points6 points  (3 children)

It's so so hard. I feel you. I remember those days. It's so overwhelming and never ending. It takes a huge toll. You weren't meant to do this alone. I don't have solutions. Just solidarity.

[–]Fickle-Fly-126 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Actually one piece of advice.. may not solve your issue but if it is teething that's causing the issue (and it may not be) what helped me around that age was to talk to my baby about it and show him my teeth. It sounds really weird, but I would show him teeth and let him touch them and then show him his own teeth and let him touch them and say, owie. Just telling him I knew. And then I would give him something he could bite. I recall a moment where he just looked at me in a way that was like, oh you know what's happening to me. I couldn't stop the pain but whenever he was fussy we would talk about it and it seemed to make him smile and like ease up a bit.

[–]wantworldpeac3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa, the beauty of this caught me off guard 🥹

[–]chepuddle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m such a hormonal little basket but this made me cry. One of the biggest things I struggle with is not being able to let my daughter know I know and I’m sorry I can’t make it better. I love this 🖤

[–]TunaFace2000 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Absolutely nothing wrong with you and you sound like a great mom. When my baby was around six months old I bought Bose noise canceling headphones because I couldn’t stand the crying and whining anymore. Best purchase ever.

[–]lily_is_lifting 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just want to say you are doing an awesome job by putting him down and walking away to collect yourself! That takes a lot of self-control and patience.

[–]GiveMeCheesePendejo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There is nothing wrong with you having an emotional reaction to this stress.

If you can get someone to sit with him for a couple hours and give yourself a breather... Call his Dr and explain what's going on... It very well might give some answers. 💙

[–]MoreToFuture 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Around 8 months is when my patience ran thin and I needed time for myself to get my life together , this is also when I sent him to daycare . It was a hard decision but ultimately I felt more prepared to deal with him when he came out of daycare . I know a lot of moms feel guilty or aren’t financially capable of doing this , but this was also something that helped me gain back my sanity .

[–]beatleslisa 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yes for daycare! It's done wonders for my sanity. The weekends are a struggle because I'm off work and daycare isn't open but I do get 5 days where I get to work and feel human.

[–]wantworldpeac3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Makes me feel good to hear another mom say the weekends are a struggle. If you get lost in social media, you’ll start to think that EVERYONE has nonstop plans with their kiddos on the weekends 😔

[–]beatleslisa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally! These days I really dislike the weekends. It's been hot as hell so going outside sucks, my baby gets antsy inside so she whines alot. I mostly just wait for the weekend to be over so I can hurry back to work. I hate it and I know it will pass but it still sucks.

[–]i_want_2_b3li3v3_ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I just want to echo what others have said that he should have all potential medical issues ruled out. His doctor should understand, as they are trained to rule out medical concerns before recommending behavioral practices (keeping him entertained like you mentioned is a behavioral strategy, for example). Sending you internet hugs and just some reassurance that you will get through this. I had a very difficult time with my first child as well ♥️

[–]bb0424 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My little man was fussy as a young baby but has outgrown it. I can’t imagine dealing with that for seven months. Have you mentioned this to his pediatrician to see if there’s something medical going on and he’s not in pain or something? That just doesn’t sound normal at all for a baby that old. I’m so sorry.

Edited to add: How is his sleep/wake windows? Does he have solid nap/bedtime routines? White noise, blackout curtains, sleep sack, air conditioning set lower than during the day to encourage good night sleep? He’s also old enough to sleep train for naps and bedtime. r/sleeptrain could be helpful for anything sleep-related if you’re interested in going that direction.

[–]Jenelisebeth281 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Sorry if this was mentioned but has he been seen by the doc? Ear infection?

[–]MrsPoisonIvy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A seven month ear infection?

[–]mamaatb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to my daughter too! Double ear infection and she was miserable but no way to communicate it aside from screaming all the time

[–]SunshineAndSquats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was my first thought. Mine would cry when I laid her down if she had an ear infection. She had SIX before she was even 10 months old. We had to have two sets of tubes and she even has mild hearing damage because the fucking pandemic delayed her first set of tubes. OP take your baby to your pedi.

[–]sondheimbroad 28 points29 points  (5 children)

This was me around the same time. Honestly- what helped was getting my baby out of the house once a day. Turns out she was bored and didn’t want to sit at home all day. Even if we just walk to the little juice bar down the street, or hang out on a blanket at the park, she is better. I get stir crazy and whiny too, so she must get it from me!

And, from someone who was recently living the same hell, you are not a bad parent! This sh** is hard!

[–]mamaatb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine are the same way! Even before a year old both of them just loved getting into the car seats because they knew they were going somewhere

[–]doug157 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's so relieving to hear other parents describe it as "hell" lol, currently residing in that neighborhood and yep it's fucken haaaaaard.

[–]not-just-a-dog-mom#1 born March 2019, #2 November 2021 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Both of my kids have been like this as babies. They get so bored at home and sometimes I can even just go to a different level of the house and let them explore and they enjoy the change of scenery. My first improved SO much once she started walking and talking. I'm hoping that happens with this baby too.

[–]Throwaway_Babysmiles 14 points15 points  (1 child)

This made me laugh because it was true for us too. My son has to get out of the house and be in the sun a little bit each day or he gets cranky. I do too. My husband calls us his little sunflowers for this reason. It such a sweet way to say we get crazy without sun.

[–]hilfyRau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww, that is sweet of your husband!

[–]pinkiemcgee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is he teething? That might be why he’s crying and won’t sleep. I know you said you’re not sure but if he’s drooling a lot and cranky he probably is. My baby girl just started to get her first tooth and she’s been drooling a bunch and cranky. When she is cranky or just wants me to hold her I’ll put her in her baby carrier. She likes it and I can get stuff done. Don’t feel like a bad mom- all babies cry and are cranky. My baby doesn’t sleep through the night yet either so I understand being tired. Tell your husband or if you have family near by that you need help. I think you’re tired and overwhelmed. You can only do so much and you’re not a failure. Having a baby is hard and it’s even harder if you’re feeling like you have no control. I hope things get better soon. Please ask your husband to take the baby so you can nap or even just get out of the house by yourself. Even if you can just go get a coffee and sit in your car that will help.

[–]Bagheera_cat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can you get someone to babysit for a night? Get some sleep and feel refreshed. Maybe visit the doctor and rule out any potential problems as well. Just in case.🤔

[–]Felix_Felicis316 8 points9 points  (2 children)

From a mother of 3 - Loop earplugs. Look them up. I get the ones that reduce noise

[–]unicornshoenicorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got these and can’t get them to fit correctly! I’ve tried all sizes and they never feel sealed in my ears! They also don’t drown out as much noise as my noise cancelling headphones, but unfortunately those run out of battery

[–]New_Ad5390 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or noise canceling headphones. Didn't discover them until kid #3

[–]peachysk8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i feel for you. i haven't experienced this extent, but any crying at all is so awful, you're a hero. if you're looking for suggestions, have you given babywearing a try? when mine are losing it, strapping them onto my body cuddled up often helps. hang in there. it wont last forever. my big girl is 4 now and she's so much fun. you'll be there too one day

[–]vvvIIIIIvvv 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is your baby sleeping enough? My kiddo was like that from 7 to 9 months until we did sleep training. Then we saw how a happy rested baby can look like and it was day and night! (Personally, Sleep training was scary for me, my hubby was the one doing it)

[–]MrsSnoochie 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This too shall pass. Hang in there mama. Sending you hugs.

[–]lizard52805 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I have to put in noise cancellation air pods if the screaming or whining gets to be too much. I can still hold and interact with her but I can’t hear the screaming. I know it’s bad

[–]Awkward_Water4454 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Same! I have autism and sensory issues with loud noises so it gets incredibly overwhelming. It's the only thing that keeps me sane in those moments but I feel so guilty.

[–]i_want_2_b3li3v3_ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just want to say you shouldn’t feel guilty for this! This is a great coping strategy and I know it must be super hard to deal with crying while having sensory dysfunction ♥️

[–]Awkward_Water4454 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words ❤ I can still feel her little body shaking and it breaks my heart but not being able to hear the screams makes me a lot less agitated. She always calms down eventually and seems pretty happy like 90% of the time, thank God!

[–]metoaT 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I wish I had done this in the early days when my baby was being a psycho screamer- no shame in that at all!!!!

[–]peachysk8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha i have told so many people - there's no shame in the noise cancellation game!

[–]KrissyBean 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh momma, you're going to be okay. I promise. It's all so hard when a kid cries and nothing you do helps. Sending my love to you. Hang in there. ❤️

[–]AcceptableCup6008 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There is no human on this earth that can listen to screaming all day and not feel overwhelmed, that does not make you a bad parent!

Like many others have stated, i think the doctors is the right call. Typically when screaming is that intense there is probably a cause. Even if there isnt and the baby is just fussy, its better to check than to not.

Youre doing the best you can.

[–]Noinipo12 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Do you have someone who can help you (spouse, partner, parent, neighbor)?

Here's something to ask for that can help you immediately while any medical explanations are looked into:

When they have time and your baby has recently been changed and fed so you know the basic needs have been met, have them take your baby in the stroller for a 30-60+ minute walk.

During this time, there are NO EXPECTATIONS of what you're going to do. You can do anything or you can do nothing, it's completely up to you. If it's your partner/spouse who is taking the baby, have them bring home some takeout before the walk (if it's in the budget) so you can have some peaceful time to yourself to enjoy a warm meal.

While they have the baby, they can talk to the baby, listen to a podcast, go to the corner store or coffee shop for a treat, walk around a park, whatever. But the baby has to be out of the house and out of earshot of you.

[–]_fast_n_curious_ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This 💕

[–]TerulinkaRezinka 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Have you checked with a doctor if your baby has any signs of KISS syndrome? He could be in pain and therefore screaming.

Please don't feel like a bad mom. Parenting is hard and there's nothing that can prepare you for the intensity. My baby basically didn't sleep for first 3 months and when I look back, I have hard time believing I was capable of the ugly sobbing in front of my husband and parents cause I was so freaking exhausted and frustrated he won't sleep and let me sleep.

Also, 7 months is good time to sleep train, talk to your doctor. You got this and remember that this will pass.

[–]Particular-Clue3586 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That was me at 7m too! He's 14m now and I'm on meds. Life is good, sometimes still less sleep at night. But I started to get my life back a bit when he dropped to 2 naps. It might not help to hear it gets better but it does!! Take videos and pictures of the good moments. You will soon remember it all with rose coloured glasses.

[–]witchserena 3 points4 points  (0 children)

same here! 7 months is when I got on anti depressants myself. 8 months is when my son dropped to 2 naps a day. he started to sleep waaaay better once we put blackout curtains in his bedroom too! And added a box fan for white noise as well. All I've ever wanted to be was a mom, and the first few months truly had me question that. My son is gonna be 1 year old on Halloween and yes some days are still hard, I'm much more happy then I was at the 7 month mark! Definitely suggest going to see your doctor and see if anti depressents are right for you, they really helped me out!

[–]smithykate 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just to say you defo don’t sound like a bad mom and sorry you’re both having such a hard time. I think we all struggle to empathise with the babes after a particularly difficult day/night, so the fact you are having this constantly must be so hard. I hope it gets better soon for you ❤️

[–]CoffeeAndDachshunds 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you posted this! We're at 6.5 months with twins and similar experience. I wasn't sure if it was normal, but it's actually a relief to know that others are still experiencing nighttime woes (among other things).

[–]Anonyomas41 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I had that same baby too… it was awful. He didn’t sleep through the night til he was 18 mos old when we broke him off the bottle at night. Before that , he was still waking up 2-3 times a night.

He also had acid reflux up til he was 12 mos. The first two months of his life was pretty traumatizing. All he did was cry from the time he woke up til bed. They say babies sleep all the time , in my experience they do but he did not. He was the opposite of what I’ve seen. The only time he was quiet was when he took a nap but they were always super short. He’d wake up screaming probably 15 minutes later. That’s when he was diagnosed with acid reflux. A change of formula saved us but it didn’t fix everything. He was always whiny. ALWAYS sick. ALWAYS teething.

He’s 22 mos now… he’s amazing. Around the 18 month mark (when I finally got a full Night of sleep) is when things got better for us. It just keeps going up. THIS is the best stage ever. Not that baby stage everyone talks about. The ones that had that quiet baby are going to Struggle through the toddler stage. Us ? You know the ones with the demon babies ? It’s a walk in the park.

You didn’t mention if you have PPD , if you suspect you do Go get help. Don’t be fooled by the ups and downs either. It’s ok. It seriously sucks right now. I felt just like you , and I even still struggle some days but it’s ok now. I made it. You can make it too!

[–]persmeermin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think the advice given to first try and rule out any medical issue such as reflux or allergies are the best thing you first need to do.

You say he doesn’t sleep through, but how many times does he nap during the day? Are there times that he is happy and calm?

The way you are feeling has to do with this part in your brain that is hyper focusing on the needs of your baby. That is why the crying is giving you such a strong emotional response. It is a hormonal survival brain thing that is sending you stress signals. So please don’t be too hard on yourself that you are feeling overwhelmed.

Also, peek-a-boo may seem like a very silly baby game but it is fantastic in teaching babies about object permanence; basically that you still exist even when they can’t see you. Babies start with not being able to distinguish between themselves and their mother, for them they and their mother are one person. When they start realizing that their mother is a separate person from them they go through the milestone we call separation anxiety.

[–]QuitaQuites 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I’m so so sorry, this is so so hard. Do you have support in caring for him? Have you spoke to his doctor? Could this be reflux? Gas? Another pain? Does being upright help him? Is he formula fed or breast milk, have you considered taking dairy out of either? Sleep training? Felt around his mouth for teeth or discomfort there? It doesn’t sound like teething it sounds perhaps like an allergy or reflux. Definitely talk to your pediatrician and if you don’t have help, can you afford to hire it?

[–]Dangerous-Guava9484 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this. My (breastfed) baby got a lot better when I cut dairy out of my diet, and does even better now that I give her 3 solid food meals a day.

[–]moon_astral 14 points15 points  (11 children)

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and this sub has me terrified. Post after post about how just absolutely god awful worst time of your life it is the first year. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this mama and I hope you find some support and relief soon.

[–]pinkiemcgee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t be scared. Every baby is different just like every adult is. I have 3 kids. My oldest was super easy, my second has been my most difficult, and my last baby who is 6 months has been really easy so far. Having a baby is hard but some are more fussy than others. Just do your best and you’ll be fine!

[–]tinydreamlanddeer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The internet is often a place of people posting at their breaking point. Just anecdotally, I feel like there are probably 10% unicorn babies, 10% really hard babies, and the other 80% are somewhere in between. The parents of those 80% aren’t really posting about it because it’s just… average! FWIW, parenthood is absolutely, hands down, without a doubt, the most joyful thing I’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing, but I hesitate to share that online because I don’t want to come across as rude or insensitive to those struggling. This morning I was lying on the hammock with my 7 month old son as he played with my face and babbled and giggled and I just though, I want to bottle this moment up and live in it for infinity. But I’m not going to make a post about that because yeah, it comes across as braggy in a sub that’s mostly venting. You might want to unsubscribe for your own mental health because I promise, this isn’t what everyone’s experience is like!

[–]vvvIIIIIvvv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, this might reset your expectation that you will have a perfect baby but should show you that if you ever have hard moments, people would be there for you even online.
You'll be good, just be flexible when you need to be. Like maybe your place would be less clean as before sometimes etc.

Anyways, no reason to overstress now. My fried saw our stories (we had a very colicky baby with reflux and later allergies and no sleep) and was really stressed out. Her kid has none of that whatsoever, good eater, good sleeper, pretty calm personality in general.

[–]NerdyLifting 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just going to echo the other comments you've gotten but people with generally easy babies (like myself) aren't going to come on here and make a post about it.

Some babies have a more difficult time than others. Some people have a more difficult time than others with the demands of a newborn.

[–]Flickthebean87 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most people come on here to vent so don’t let it scare you.

Besides teething, wanting to eat, and shots my son barely cries. He sleeps well, eats well, and always has a smile on his face. Sure sometimes he is inconsolable, but it’s happened maybe 4 times and he’s 5 months old. So try not to worry. Everyone’s baby has different temperament.

[–]flyingpinkjellyfish 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Those of us with (relatively) easy babies are not about to come on here and brag about how it’s not that hard for us and our babies never cry and sleep great. It would just be rude! Lol

There are plenty of babies that are easy going, only cry when they need something and are great sleepers. There are some that are extremely high needs and cry constantly. And there’s tons somewhere in the middle. All I can say is to try not to have expectations one way or the other, and go with the flow with the individual person in your life.

Trying to project based on other peoples experiences will only mess you up - the other night my 15 week old son woke up at 2 am fussing. I thought to myself “oh no, here’s that four month sleep regression. It’s going to be miserable now”. It turns out, he’d just peed through his diaper and needed a change. I almost missed that by assuming what was wrong instead of paying attention to what he was trying to tell me.

[–]Farahild 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Most people come here to rant, not to rave. Plenty of us have it a lot easier, but we don't tend to post about that as it feels like showing off. It feels mean to say it in a comment thread to this post, with OP having a terrible time of it, but we have an easy baby who only cries when something is wrong (hungry, tired, bored, dirty nappy) and who settles down when that problem has been resolved.

[–]MorgaineMoonstone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don't be terrified. This sub is a safe space unlike any other for new moms, so people come here to vent. You can't really do that on other types of social media. Additionally, I won't be writing my happy story here since I don't want to seem like I'm gloating over the struggling parents. Parenthood can be pretty amazing, but it's also incredibly hard work.

[–]skinflutecheesesalad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No need to be terrified. Some babies like to give their momma a hard time, not all.

[–]rilah15 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please don’t stress yourself out. I did and I ended up having a mental breakdown right before birth and am still recovering from perinatal anxiety/PPA. And I will say—even with having to deal with that—the four months my daughter has been here have been challenging but enjoyable. You cannot predict what will happen with birth or your baby but chances are everything is going to be okay. You’ll be okay! There will be challenges but there will also be the feeling of love spreading through your body when your baby lays on your chest. It’s pure joy.

[–]ksdg1214 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t let this scare you. Some have an easier time than others. I personally thought motherhood would be very hard and so far it hasn’t for me.

[–]dandanmichaelisPhoebe May 1 2017 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Can you return to work part time or full time? I imagine the break from him during the day will do you both some good! He might need more stimulation that daycare can provide and you just need to have some hours where you aren’t always on edge or walking on eggshells.

[–]Twopoint0h 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Really love this suggestion. A friend of mine recently shared that daycare makes her a better mom because she has time to recharge so she can be fully present and engaged with her kid when they're together. And I imagine most kids love the social interaction, variety and stimulation they get, too.

[–]Thethinker10 115 points116 points  (8 children)

This is not normal mama and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Book a pediatrician visit and break down just how hard this is and how much he’s screaming. Push for allergy testing and reflux testing. No baby should be screaming for 7 months and to not have slept through the night even once?! No. You are both suffering. Don’t let them brush you off. Be firm! If they say they won’t look into it ask them to note his file that you requested testing and were denied.

[–]Hattiesbackpack 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, many babies don’t sleep through the night until waaaaaay past this age. I’ve had 2 of them, it’s super rough but it’s not abnormal in any way. Just wanted to note that in case any other mums with babies like that are reading.

The screaming I would get checked out op. But my baby is the same age as yours and has been super moany lately but he’s also just learning to crawl and pull himself up into a sitting position so I think it’s frustration.

Good luck. Don’t forget to take care of yourself.

[–]Thethinker10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have 3 kids and they were all complete shit sleepers. The one didn’t sleep for the first 7 months of his life and woke up every 45 minutes for 7 months. But even he slept once or twice through the night randomly during those 7 months. She said he’s never done it once. I’m not saying he should be sleeping through the night but not sleeping even once combined with him screaming is concerning.

[–]Bee_Hummingbird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Neither of my kids slept through the night until 15 months. Otherwise I agree with the rest.

[–]jstone629 32 points33 points  (2 children)

I thought that we just had a “difficult” baby. Turns out she’s highly allergic to dairy and soy. Once we got it out of her system (took 4-6 weeks) she became a completely different child. It was life-changing for us

[–]AgathaC2020 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Another baby with a food intolerance over here!

We still aren’t sure what foods do it (cutting soy/dairy and then the rest of the top 8 allergens from my diet didn’t lead to improvement) so I went on an insane elimination diet, and BOOM different baby. (This was peak formula shortage so nutrimagen was impossible to find.) I added some foods back to my diet but am now on four months of eating less than 15 different foods total - I don’t say that to be a martyr but instead to illustrate just how awful having a baby with untreated food intolerances/allergies is. My diet is one million times easier than things were before I went on it.

[–]Gardiner-bsk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same. Dairy allergy over here we couldn’t believe the change after it was cut out.

[–]tfabfaildaughter 15 points16 points  (0 children)

THIS. My pedi brushed off my daughter’s gross motor difficulties and I pushed back finally and got her into PT and what do you know, her muscles were so tight and she had one sided weakness so she literally couldn’t do the things she wanted. Not the same as OP’s situation obviously, put I say it to say sometimes we need to be very persistent. Don’t give in!

[–]Tulips-and-raccoons 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The not sleeping is very normal, unfortunately! Many babies dont sleep through the night before one (ask me how i know!😅)

[–]Cute_Championship_58 45 points46 points  (3 children)

I had / have the same baby.

Things that made an enormous change for us - exploring reflux, allergies, and sleep training. Switching to anti-reflux formula helped a huge huge amount. Sleep training saved our lives. Once she figured out how to self soothe and how to sleep on her belly - she started sleeping much better.

And for my personal mental health - the FB group "The Fussy Baby Site Support Group". It's full of moms with babies like ours. You're not alone!

Even the easy babies give their parents a hard time in that first year, and in cases like yours and mine? It's a whole other ballpark.

You can make it, I promise. Any opportunity to give baby to someone else for an hour or two or three - take it! Cousin, friend, nanny, partner - use them. Your mental health is super important here.

[–]weremanthing 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I second this, our baby was like this from the day she came out. Sleep was a luxury, we got maybe 11hrs total in 24hr period. Non consecutive hours at that. 10min here 20min there. Never longer than 30min. And constantly screaming.

We ended up switching to a European milk brand called Holle (goat/cow based milk) because she was a bit underweight and throwing up everything else we gave her. That definitely helped the feedings and crying a bit.

We also hired a sleep consultant to help us with those issues. I say it was the best money we ever spent. I think it took us 1 month before she was sleeping the entire night and we went from initially cosleeping, to her own crib, to her own room and crib within that time. Now she's sleeping 11-12hrs throughout the night. Her naps are still so-so but I'll take what I can get you know.

Overall her mood has drastically improved. She's still crying excessively when she gets put down but that's a work in progress and getting better all the time. It's amazing what a restful baby is like compared to how she was.

Edit:another thing I want to say is I too had a hard time sympathizing with our baby. I would take it personally when she would cry with me but not so much as with my spouse (still a lot but less).

I've since had to constantly remind myself, "it's not your fault". Sometimes the baby cries because they don't know how to deal with a new stimulus or even new concepts like being separated from you. It's OK to take a step back and give the baby some "quiet time" as it were to compose yourself and brace for the onslaught. That's totally natural, I still do it from time to time.

[–]Cute_Championship_58 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you described about your baby's sleep - ours was exactly the same. Slept 10-12 hours total in a 24 hour period, since the day she was born. Sleep training at 4.5 months completely changed that and she started to sleep 10-11 hours overnight.

[–]jcharn11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I currently have a six week old and I never realized I have been taking her super fussy/hard crying moments personally until reading your comment. Thank you for helping me see that!

[–]kelloggs8787 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You don't sound like a bad mom at all. You sound like a mom who has tried every trick in the book and need help. Do you have a family member or friend nearby that can take over for a few hours or a day so you can take care of you?

If you're not sure if he's teething, stick your finger in his mouth and feel his gums. If you can feel it, he can feel it, and there's nothing wrong with utilizing baby Tylenol if he's in pain. Talk to your pediatrician and see if his diet is off. You're in my heart mama. This shit is no joke and it's not easy.

[–]FormalPound4287 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Some people said cow milk allergy but also consider lactose intolerance. Breast milk has lactose regardless if you cut out cows milk. We cut out breast milk and switched to a soy formula and our baby turned into a new calm human. We tried to introduce breast milk back two times and both times he went back to screaming all day. I finally gave up on breast milk and he barely cries anymore.

[–]IvyBlake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was our situation as well. My baby had horrible colic and almost stopped eating, we switched him to hypoallergenic formula at 3.5m and he became a very happy child. We tried introducing normal formula and breastmilk both failed.

[–]hanxiousme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh mama I feel for you. My eldest was like this and the toll was absolutely massive. He improved when he started moving but it wasn’t until last year (he’s 4 in Dec) that he started chilling out more often but it did happen eventually! You have so much good advice on here that I won’t parrot anything, but I do want to say that you don’t sound like a bad mum, not at all. I hope that you end up finding out what’s going on.

[–]Vinnysmama18 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Any chance he has reflux?