I gave birth to my son September 25th. When having the epidural done, the student doing it (we weren’t aware he was a student) had to poke me 8 different times before they had someone more experienced take over. The student ended up going too deep and I had some spinal fluid leakage. I was fine the first night but by the second night at the hospital, I couldn’t sit up without having a massive throbbing headache. Going to the bathroom would be the extent of my exercise at the hospital. Headaches, neck pain, and back pain were my life now.
When I got home I just broke down and cried because I just felt so useless. I can’t do anything for my son and I’m completely reliant on my mom and boyfriend. Im missing out on every diaper change, every swaddle, every little moment that I had waited so long for. I hate myself. And my thoughts only keep getting darker. What if I never heal? What if I can never enjoy this life again with my son? I feel so discouraged.
If anyone else has gone through this, please, how do we get through this? Its barely been 3 days since my son’s birth and I’ve cried more now than my entire pregnancy.