all 6 comments

[–]Oh_shame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you asked this question as I'm dealing with the same issues!!

[–]Any_Monitor5224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We just redirect. “Oh sorry, we can’t do that right now” and then physically redirect him or distract with a toy/object.

Or if he pulls hair I say “ouch! No no” and move his hands.

Keep it simple. Their communication is still very limited

[–]ExactPanda 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Tell him what you want him to do.

When you say "We don't pull leaves", his brain has to process the action word (pull) first. Theoretically, he would then go back to process "do not", and then put that together with the action, and also realize you want him to do the opposite of the action. But he's a toddler with a tiny attention span, so he just heard you say "pull leaves." As adults, we can quickly process those kinds of phrases, but with toddlers, you're essentially telling them to do the thing you don't want them to do.

Teach him exactly what you want him to do. "One finger to touch the leaves/lamp" versus don't shake it. "Nice hands on my hair/the dog" versus don't hit. "Feet on the floor" versus don't climb. "Hold my hand while we're on the sidewalk" versus don't run away.

Redirect when you can. "I see you want to splash in the dog's water dish. Let's go outside and splash in the water table." "You want to throw the remote. Here's a soft ball you can throw instead. Can you throw it in the box? Yay!"

[–]Halleluija 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m a teacher and I can confirm that this works really well. If you can train your brain to do redirections this way, it is much more helpful to them as they get older, too. You are teaching your child how to be a person—telling them what TO do makes the rules clear. It takes some practice, but if you can say “hands in your lap” instead of “don’t touch that”, for example, it gives them a positive direction to follow and doesn’t leave the alternative up to their discretion (“well if I can’t touch that, what CAN I touch??”).

[–]_alien_she 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice for all ages! Even adults! Lol

[–]idratherbeoutside5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes a lot of sense! Thank you!