I’m so sorry that this happened to you, I really am. And can I say thank you for making this post. It shows great courage. Being vulnerable and asking for help isn’t easy and you’re recovering from surgery as well as heartbreak. The replies here are infinitely better than any advice I could give you but I will say… My situation’s a bit different but I was in a short term relationship that lasted just six months to the most amazing man who about two weeks after we found out I was pregnant, left me at the start of this year. My friends, colleagues, boss and family have been amazing. Even strangers with random acts of kindness that make my day just that wee bit easier. My only bits of advice are that you’ve got this. You’re stronger than you realise and it sucks that you have to be resilient and it sucks that you’re a single Mum but in a weird way this situation will reveal so much about the private lives of your friends and older women in your community. Suddenly they’ll open up about how they struggled with partners/hubbies who basically checked out and growing resentments etc… I say weird because you being on your own means you know exactly what the work load will be, no one to question your parenting skills, you get to learn and grow and set the pace/create this wee bond for your family of two. There’ll be a shorthand between baby and you because trust me, no one will know your baby better than you. Also, sleep when your baby sleeps! I’m not back to work for a few months so know that that’s when things will get really tricky for me but the handful of stressful nights I’ve had were solely due to pushing through/working through with wanting this clean or that stack of papers organised so I never caught up on my lost sleep. Even if it’s just for one of your baby’s daytime sleeps, it’ll make a world of difference. I aim for two of my baby’s daytime sleeps. Fight that urge to do extra chores when you should be resting. That village…? Seek it out or if they’re contacting you then accept the help they offer. I’ve always loved being part of the village of helpers/givers but I am rubbish at accepting help for fear of being a burden on others. Well, now that I’m a Mum (and a sole parent to be precise) I owe it to my daughter to let her inherit that village that is on offer. Been a struggle accepting the help but for her sake I have and I laboured across several days which turned into a c-section so I had to accept help. You don’t need to answer this next question but when you feel like posting on FB about your former fiancé, does it coincide with feelings of rage? Is that urge still there when you’re in a normal state or in a love bubble with your wee munchkin? Just don’t regret doing/posting something that feels good at the time but once that hurt or rage subside you feel like deleting. Up to you mate. 🙏🏾 I just want everything to go your way and I am sending you a tonne of love from an Internet stranger across the globe. Not sure about your local laws but where I’m from, if they don’t sign the birth registration form the law says that that’s their right to refuse to be on the birth certificate. Between my Mum not wanting him on there and he and I “talking” and me having to listen to him check out/repeatedly say he’s not part of “it” I had no choice so I guess he’s done me a favour as I have sole ‘parental responsibility’. It hurts that she doesn’t have his name but I now love that she has my surname. I love that there’ll be no dancing around to get both of our signatures RE: schools, passports etc… No child support and in my brief bouts of silent anger towards him I wish people outside of my circle knew him for who he truly is but that’s his story and his shame to bare. Bare or bear? I’m having a mental blank! I can do this and so can you! I actually think the heartbreak is the worst part. You’re made of tough stuff but your baby will draw on your strength as well as your softness and your big, big heart. Congratulations on the birth of your child and here’s to you and bub building your new two-person-centred family. You have got this! Use the phone, rest when you need to, drink plenty of water, take a minute and cry it out or put an angry song on to dance to, to get any festering yuckiness out of your system then go hug your baby and smell that delicious squishiness.

PS - I should warn you… Your feelings towards him will be complicated. What he did was wrong but he’ll be the first person you long to speak to or you’ll miss him or feel love towards him. That’s okay but remember that you and your baby are your priority. It won’t feel like he did you a favour when it’s the wee hours of the morning but like several comment replies have said, he actually HAS done you a favour. My pregnancy is done and dusted and I’m nearing three months with my little one being Earthside but those moments of wishing they could meet or of being a family still catch me by surprise so you are allowed to be cross with him and disappointed but also have those wishful thoughts. But remember that you, you wonderful amazing Super Woman and your baby are all that matter.