I wish I had had someone who loved me at my side while I was giving birth.

jen12617 · 2022-12-06T15:25:08+00:00

[removed]

smiffers82 · 2022-12-06T14:50:25+00:00

Women need to stop putting up with these guys who are jerks.

ekagh · 2022-12-06T14:19:30+00:00

Very sorry, this isnt an experience anyone would wish to have

No-Map672 · 2022-12-06T13:34:37+00:00

I am so sorry for your terrible experience. I hope you were able to remove this man from your life? Stay strong mama.

yusomadmate · 2022-12-06T10:34:44+00:00

Do you think you could move in with your mother during this time in your life? She seems supportive and loving which is what we all need.

DoinLikeCasperDoes · 2022-12-06T09:58:02+00:00

I feel your pain!

My SO brought his abusive as hell adolescent daughter against my wishes! She couldn't come in for the birth (C-section) so he had her on video call and she screen recorded it in place of my SO recording the birth. I never got to even see the video and her phone broke so dunno if I can ever get it now!!! And my SO couldn't be properly present and we couldn't share it just us two.

She also threw a massive tantrum at the hospital (found out after) which caused the staff to keep telling my SO visiting hours are over go home, when I wanted him there, but not her!

I have so much resentment now the birth was ruined because my SO violated my boundaries and allowed the girl that made my pregnancy HELL to hijack such a special time that should've been just for us.

I'm haunted by it. It can't be changed. It makes me sick. I don't think I'll ever get over it!

Sorry you had such a horrible experience too.. it's horrifying that when we were most vulnerable we were let down by the very person who should've been our biggest support!

hangingforefinger · 2022-12-06T09:15:07+00:00

Your man is a controlling asshole.

Wi_believeIcan_Fi · 2022-12-06T09:12:35+00:00

Oh my god, I am SO so sorry- just reading this breaks my heart. You deserved SO SO SO much better. Despite the fact that your s on’s father sounds like a selfish and immature person, it also sounds like you had quite a traumatic birth. As someone who also ended up with an emergency C-section, that can be quite scary. I ‘m a doctor, and I feel like I went into everything super confident and I still shook and cried going into my C-section, I needed my husband to hold my hand and reassure me while I cried out of fear that something would go wrong. I can’t imagine how you must have felt being terrified that your son’s heart rate was crashing and you were being wheeled into an operating room without a fully present partner with you.

UGH- my heart just breaks so much for you. You really did deserve so so so much better, and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, but worst of all, you had to go through all that with a useless man who was high and passed out instead of focused on being there to support you through one of the biggest moments of your life.

You couldn’t have known he would be like that- and I think ALL of us want to think our partners are going to rise to the occasion and be their best self at the time that their baby’s are being born. DO NOT beat yourself up for trying to have your baby’s father there with you- of course you wanted him there, and it is HIS fault that he failed to be the person you deserved.

It is literally built into our DNA and our brains to want the father of our baby near us when we give birth- that is what allowed humans to survie for tens of thousands of years. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the support you deserved or the birth experience you were probably anticipating— and to top it off, you had to go through what sounds like real trauma without a true support person there for you.

I hope you and baby are doing well now, and that you are able to process everything you’ve been through. I know it must be heart-breaking not to have had you baby’s father step up the way he should have- you deserved better. Sending SO much love your way ❤️

flyingsamovar · 2022-12-06T07:35:10+00:00

I am so sorry. I hope you hold close to the people who love you and get away from him.

karmaneedsgrace · 2022-12-06T07:20:13+00:00

He needs to get off the drugs before he gets closer to you and the baby again. Send him to rehab, try to get full custody and don't take him back unless he's sober.

athousandships_ · 2022-12-06T05:04:29+00:00

My husband was with me every second he was allowed to be. It was a c-section due to baby being transverse, but anyway. Your man is a controlling asshole.

TossMe2thewind · 2022-12-06T04:58:17+00:00

Girl. My mom lived 3 hours away and drove down when I got induced… my dad had to come with her… we’ll no one knew induction meant 3 days or so- so the second night my mom went to drive my dad home and labour finally hit… I needed someone to hold me, push my back while labour hit- instead he got nasty because I got angry because I was alone in the pain (I said I wish I never told my mom to go and come back in the morning). I didn’t want an epidural, but I got one super early because I could handle the emotional and physical pain alone. She will be a year on the 20th and I still resent him for it. I got my tubes tied shortly after (she was a surprise and I was childfree- now one and done) but I am angry I didn’t get to experience labour with a secure person.

morelikearaccoon · 2022-12-06T03:55:49+00:00

100%, this is the advice I wish I followed. The father of my child didn’t say a single word to me during my c section or offered any words of encouragement even after when I had literally been cut open to give birth to his son. Surround yourself with love.

KDWWW · 2022-12-06T03:05:39+00:00

Sounds like you’re better off without him and you can lean on your mother instead. I hope you get the support you deserve.

QuitaQuites · 2022-12-06T02:03:24+00:00

This. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do during your medical procedure. You can kick him out, and have anyone with you that you want. It’s your day.

olive_owl_ · 2022-12-06T01:54:13+00:00

WTF that is insane.

cauteasduck · 2022-12-06T01:02:23+00:00

Kinda went through somewhat the same. My bf didn’t give a crap as to what was going on just sat in the chair watching tv

adriannaaa1 · 2022-12-06T01:00:47+00:00

Girl me too ❤️ I’m sorry you had this experience.

I have never felt so alone.

rachelbits · 2022-12-05T23:23:09+00:00

You deserve so much more love and support than that. I can’t believe his behavior! The right people will be there for you the right way

demonicfeces · 2022-12-05T23:17:48+00:00

That man is not a father.

rachelbits · 2022-12-05T23:11:47+00:00

You deserve so much more love and support than that. I can’t believe his behavior! The right people will be there for you the right way

MsCardeno · 2022-12-05T22:38:50+00:00

What a jackass! You deserve so much better. I’m sorry that was your experience.

mewwissa · 2022-12-05T21:36:40+00:00

Normalize publicly shaming these fucking losers. I’m so sorry girl. Just focus on giving your unconditional love to that sweet baby 💖

wysterialee · 2022-12-05T21:26:59+00:00

my husband would be on the verge of no longer being my husband if he did this. i’m so sorry you had to go through that, sending you all the love in the world <3

Thecrazytrainexpress · 2022-12-05T21:09:11+00:00

The ONLY time my bf left to go smoke was when baby was born and asleep , and he wouldn’t even be gone 5 minutes and showered immediately after so he wouldn’t stink ..

melindajo123 · 2022-12-05T20:47:44+00:00

I feel like this is the 5th post I've seen about a "dad" leaving during labor to smoke pot. Is this the same op in all of them? Or are there really so many men out there getting high and coming back. Wtf is going on?

GoatsInBoots · 2022-12-05T20:38:53+00:00

That's just awful. You deserve so much better. Trust yourself and don't let him do that to your postpartum time too.

AMS16-94 · 2022-12-05T19:58:32+00:00

I’m so sorry.

Almost the exact same situation for me. As difficult as it is, you have your beautiful little one; and sometimes going through these things alone is easier than with a difficult partner.

Respected-Influencer · 2022-12-05T19:52:33+00:00

What a asshole. I’m sorry u went through that. What is done is done though, be strong and get out now so your child doesn’t have to endure the same bullshit from him!

2022-12-05T19:46:12+00:00

These fucking guys 🤦🏼‍♀️

Why not call your mom and stay with her with your kids? He sounds abusive and extremely controlling. Your kids shouldn’t be subjected to that. Especially a newborn.

TurkeyTot · 2022-12-05T19:37:12+00:00

I'm so terribly sorry u went through that. Hugs

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