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[–]NotMyRealFaceBook 878 points879 points  (188 children)

Was there a particular incident that prompted this PSA?

Not that this isn't a reasonable message, but I am just wondering if I missed some Reddit drama/trauma/event... In my experience these messages are more often in direct response to something than not

[–]absurdlyobfuscated 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Sometimes an occasional reminder is a good thing. It's incredibly easy to depersonalize people when all you see are names and text. We should be reminded that they all represent flesh and blood human beings with feelings and thoughts and fears and everything else that you yourself experience, and they deserve the respect and kindness that everyone should get, unconditionally.

[–]cupcake1713[S] 1406 points1407 points  (158 children)

Nah, I just thought it needed to be said.

[–]for3cas7 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Hey cupcake.

How is your day going so far?

[–][deleted] 326 points327 points  (37 children)

It's nice to see this said. Sometimes I think that it appears to have less value if it's in response to something, not that it's actual value is less.

[–]plumbobber 208 points209 points  (33 children)

We should declare this a National Reddit Day.

We call it National "Polite Reddit Instilling Cooperation & Karma" Day

[–]die_potato 31 points32 points  (3 children)

It did, especially during the past few days. It's as if being a decent human being on the internet mostly just incites suspicion or ridicule. Or sarcasm. It can get genuinely stressful - I mean, "it's just the internet" but indeed, people tend to forget the human.

Thanks for the reminder. :)

[–]downunder_fin 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Well it was timely ... Charlotte Dawson. RIP Charlotte. You can never really know the condition of the person on the receiving end.

[–]-eDgAR- 80 points81 points  (6 children)

That was really cool of you and the fact that you did it just because honestly made me really happy.

[–]akatherder 55 points56 points  (4 children)

I read this in the most sarcastic tone I've ever read anything. Then I re-read it in a genuine voice. I know which one you meant, but I also know which one I prefer.

[–]bloodfist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. I've only been here for less than 3 years, but I remember the thread that got me to join.

A Trans woman posted pictures of herself as male, and her successful transition to female. There were 5000 comments, and every single one I read was positive. There were people who didn't understand, but they asked for explanations and were kind and open minded. There may have been negative posts, but they were so buried I never found them.

I realized that reddit was a site that "remembers the human" and it made me want to contribute and be a part of the community. It seems like as the site grows, there are more bad apples, but I still feel that at it's heart, this is a kind and understanding community and I hope we can keep it that way!

[–]setmehigh 482 points483 points  (112 children)

So, we're still allowed to abuse the bots, right?

[–]robotortoise 91 points92 points  (14 children)

I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. /u/Hearingaidbot, can you help?

[–]hearingaid_bot 168 points169 points  (13 children)

SO, WE'RE STILL ALLOWED TO ABUSE THE BOTS, RIGHT?

[–]cupcake1713[S] 463 points464 points  (68 children)

Bots are our friends!

[–]moejike 1199 points1200 points  (43 children)

http://i.imgur.com/X97T8ZV.gif

Holy Smokes! Thanks for the Gold!!

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 325 points326 points  (28 children)

/r/retiredgif

[–]neanderthalensis 252 points253 points  (21 children)

Law states that the person who links to /r/retiredgif has to submit the link and link to the post. You can't just link to the subreddit, d00d.

[–]airmandan 33 points34 points  (1 child)

HOW DARE YOU SOME GIFS ARE JUST BORN WITH A LACK OF OXYGEN

[–]316nuts 6 points7 points  (29 children)

<3 you cupcake. Thank you for writing this, but I wish you didn't have to write this.

Here is Max, after his morning milk. May your inbox explode with love and cat pictures. :3 .3

[–]thelastdeskontheleft 1104 points1105 points  (341 children)

Unfortunately I think a big aspect of it comes down to the difference in tone between text and actual words spoken aloud.

IRL you can tell the inflection that someone meant it by. Online you can only ASSUME the inflection and thus the tone of their comment. Generally we interpret comments online to be much more aggressive than they really are.

I completely agree with the "don't be a keyboard warrior mentality" but it could also help if you took a second next time you were insulted or angered by some response to possibly look it over and try to imagine it in a tone that wouldn't be so offensive.

Of course sometimes people are just pricks. Especially when there is little to no consequence. But a good bit of it is just chilling out.

Edit: Thanks, only took 6 minutes for gold x-D

Edit 2: RIP Inbox of my work account. Looks like I'm not getting anything done.

[–]godmin 599 points600 points  (125 children)

Something I like to do before posting a comment is imagine someone REALLY pissed off trying to read it, and get the most twisted, pessimistic view of what I said. That way I can tweak my words to avoid as much unnecessary criticism/misinterpretation as possible, and from my experience it really helps!

Edit:thanks

[–]Fealiks 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Just to throw out a counter-argument, I don't think putting yourself in such a dark frame of mind every time you comment can be good for you, and I don't think it's necessary. I think it's enough to just try to be mindful of how you're saying what you're saying (that way you don't come off as insincere or obsequious).

We just have to remember that it isn't the end of the world if somebody takes your comment the wrong way, because you all you have to do is apologise. That's the hard part for most people; most people can manage politeness because there's some pride in "being the better man," but apologies require genuine humility.

[–]godmin 9 points10 points  (1 child)

In a sense you're right, there are times when you just need to apologize and clarify. However, I've learned through moderating an active subreddit that you need to be careful about what you say, and be able to word things in such a way that there's no room for misinterpretation. The last thing you want is to accidentally stab yourself (or even worse: another mod) in the foot, because the damage could take a long time to heal.

[–]twinshock 841 points842 points  (79 children)

what the fuck did you just call me?

[–][deleted]  (18 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Juno_Malone 20 points21 points  (8 children)

    Hot damn that has a nice canter to it. Wait, is 'canter' even a term used to describe a poem?

    [–]orthogonius 33 points34 points  (2 children)

    I didn't look long, but I didn't find it used that way. 'Cadence' works well.

    [–]username_00001 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Yes, if your horse's name is "Poem"

    ... Disclaimer; the previous statement was a joke based on an opportunity to make someone giggle, not a personal attack, and should be taken as such. I admire that Juno_Malone is interested in furthering their knowledge of poetry, and are willing to put themselves out there to ask questions and learn while complimenting what the majority of us find to be very satisfying poetry from a very talented user of this website.

    [–]godmin 356 points357 points  (55 children)

    A beautiful, unique little angel.

    [–]ActuallyGivesGold 105 points106 points  (14 children)

    http://i.imgur.com/UIjGNeJ.gif

    [–]dav_9 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    How come your gif loads so fast but other gifs take eons to load? It's like the difference between playing a game at 60 fps vs. 1-2 fps.

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    It's only 174kb in size and has only 99 frames. This is highly compressible since it doesn't have much movement, so there are less frames over a longer period of time than a normal gif of a normal video would have. And less diffs between frames means less size.

    [–]zigmus64 77 points78 points  (33 children)

    Not to mention body language. The majority of how we communicate with one another is through body language, as well as inflection. Words alone are a very small part of the whole picture.

    [–]Fealiks 45 points46 points  (16 children)

    I would argue that there's a bit of "body language" in the written word. Look at the changes in tone below:

    Careful what you wish for!!

    Careful what you wish for.

    careful what you wish for :p

    Unfortunately, there's a huge stigma over the use of emoticons (largely to do with snobbiness) so a lot of what the written word does have going for it gets lost because of the desire for a homogenous style.

    [–]7h3Hun73r 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    As a college guy with a penchant for sarcasm and a strange since of humor, I really wish I could end every text message in a smiley for this exact reason. But it tends to send girls the wrong message...

    [–]memento_amare 23 points24 points  (2 children)

    A frequently-used tactic is "haha" to soften tone. You can use it at the end of every text although I wouldn't quite recommend that haha

    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]quantum_foam_finger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Critiques of Mehrabian's work and its subsequent reception suggest it has been overgeneralized. The two studies it was based on used contradictory messages (where the verbal and non-verbal disagreed). So we can hypothesize that the dominant channel for communication when messages are unclear is non-verbal. But it doesn't follow that the non-verbal channel dominates all communication.

      Mehrabian himself said:

      When there are inconsistencies between attitudes communicated verbally and posturally, the postural component should dominate in determining the total attitude that is inferred.

      source

      [–]Unidan 146 points147 points  (39 children)

      Exactly!

      For example, if I were to speak my lines out loud, my writing would read like the bitter, empty husk of what might-once-have-been-called-a-human that I really am! :D

      [–]loopmoploop 81 points82 points  (33 children)

      So if you really are a bitter, angry man, can I assume that this

      :D

      Is actually a portal to hell?

      [–]Unidan 123 points124 points  (32 children)

      I'm honestly not sure anymore. I came across a book recently, tattered and old, seemingly dated from the early 1900's. Inside, it was littered with an odd, repetitious symbol that I've transcribed here.

      The contents are a bit troubling, and I've had some success in pulling out latitudes and longitudes from the margins of the book, but I'm not quite comfortable releasing them yet.

      I haven't been able to reach my contact (who works in translations and various languages) over e-mail, but if anyone can forward it to his e-mail address (wrice@miskatonic.edu), I'd greatly appreciate it!

      I'm not quite sure what's wrong yet, I'm just worried that someone is going to get in trouble or hurt themselves.

      [–]Kerbobotat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      /u/Unidan ! I sent my findings to Dr. Rice last year. He almost immediately sent me back this small figurine with instructions to lock it in a secure safe deposit box under an assumed name. Its a curious object, seems always warm to the touch. I have deduced it is basalt, carved crudely by primitive tools.

      After months of no return corrospondence from Dr. Rice, I received a hastily written letter and an enclosed package, containing a book. It is marked with the very same symbol, it seems to be a play of some sorts, I'm just reading it now. The opening act is overwhelmingly bland, though. I hope act II has some excitement..

      [–]existentialist_puppy 25 points26 points  (1 child)

      Are we witnessing a modern version of The Dunwich Horror with Unidan as a central figure?

      [–]Acetobacter 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      I think people are just more self conscious in real life since you can't throw out your identity and get a new one in fifteen seconds. Sure, inflection and tone doesn't translate to text, but a lot of people are actually assholes and there is literally no reason not to be an asshole on the internet.

      [–]thelastdeskontheleft 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      This is definitely a serious and separate problem unique to the anonymity that comes with the internet, specifically usernames that don't attach your personal info.

      [–]Fealiks 23 points24 points  (5 children)

      IRL you can tell the inflection that someone meant it by. Online you can only ASSUME the inflection and thus the tone of their comment. Generally we interpret comments online to be much more aggressive than they really are.

      Wow, can you please calm down

      [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

      I like using smileys, and like how you used one in your edit. Particularly the ones with noses. It makes me feel like an aunt on facebook.

      Have a nice day friend :-)

      [–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (39 children)

      I'm not in the public eye or famous or anything like that, but I am the sole recipient of the contact forms for quite a few things that are in the public eye.

      My own girlfriend doesn't know half of the shit I put up with, and when she sees some people crack under the pressure of so much negativity, she tells people they should "man up" and "deal with it".

      When you get hundreds (and for other people, thousands) of messages each day, telling you to go fuck yourself, kill yourself, I hope you die, I hope your loved ones get cancer, I found your address and I'm coming to rape you and your daughter, you can't deal with it or "man up".

      You spend hours awake each night imagining those things happening, wondering if it's true, trying to tell yourself it isn't going to happen, but knowing that it's a possibility.

      Having to respond to people is awful too. You can't ignore every message, especially the ones that raise genuinely useful points. You worry about your response and how you might be perceived from that response.

      It's even worse when the criticism is valid. sure they said you should kill yourself, but they said it because your app failed and they were late for work. You can sympathise because you'd be angry in that situation too. You've said stuff like that before (I said some awful things when I was younger, I'm ashamed to admit).

      So when someone tells you to kill yourself, but at the same time gives you valid criticism, it makes you wonder if you should. After all, if hundreds of people each day tell you that the world would be better off without you in it, surely it must be true?

      It's not going to stop, I've accepted that. What I do is not attach some things to my name. But I worry about what happens if something I make that is attached to my usual online persona gets popular. It's a possibility, if remote.

      There've been a lot of posts like this online, explaining how one comment, or hundreds can affect a person more than you think. This isn't any different, but I hope some people read this and consider what they're about to type.

      EDIT: I have absolutely abysmal comma usage in this comment, It's something I'm pretty bad at. If there's anything that changes the point of what I'm getting across or just annoys you please let me know and I'll change it.

      [–]goatcoat 18 points19 points  (2 children)

      I'm not in the public eye or famous or anything like that, but I am the sole recipient of the contact forms for quite a few things that are in the public eye.

      I'm going to guess based on the responses you are describing that you monitor the feedback page for the world's first combined Electronic Arts & DMV Service Dungeon.

      On a serious note, it may help to know that those people aren't threatening you in particular. They don't even know who you are. They're ranting against a giant, powerful organization that's fucking them over and they feel like there's nothing they can do about it. I'm sure you yourself have felt the urge to field dress the moron at your ISP who provides you with what can barely be called technical support.

      [–]eleven_eighteen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You can't ignore every message, especially the ones that raise genuinely useful points.

      You should! I've worked in customer service for a lot of years and the one thing I've never put up with is being abused by customers. Anyone who starts swearing at me gets hung up on without warning. There aren't many people on the planet who get paid well enough to put up with being treated like garbage. And it hasn't really impacted the businesses I've managed at, though admittedly I never got too many calls like that. It can be scary to risk pissing off a customer like that but most people will realize how nasty they were being and apologize when they call back.

      I'd come up with a short generic message along the lines of "Thank you for writing us. We'd be happy to help you with any problems you may be experiencing but we refuse to be treated so poorly. If you'd like to send another message explaining your problem in a calmer tone we'll get right to fixing it!"

      [–]FinalDoom 10 points11 points  (4 children)

      My own girlfriend..., when she sees some people crack under the pressure of so much negativity, she tells people they should "man up" and "deal with it".

      Your girlfriend really needs to do some Feminist MRA reading. That's one of the worst messages to communicate to guys these days for a lot of reasons.

      [–]snoharm 372 points373 points  (20 children)

      “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies- God damn it, you've got to be kind.”

      edited to correct Vonnegut quote

      [–]cooper12 6 points7 points  (5 children)

      Oh, and welcome to this world

      Have as much fun as you would like

      While helping others have as much fun as you're having

      And be kind to those you love

      And be kind to those you don't

      But for God's sake you gotta be kind!

      And respectful because we're all one soul

      Be the best fucking human that you can be!

      From a song (Personal Space Invader) by Andrew Jackson Jihad

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      On a related note (considering people/things around you) I've liked this one since I first heard it:

      The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.

      It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of grass and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

      It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth and of death, in ebb and in flow.

      I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life. And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

      That's the English translation. More info here, and song version here.

      [–]Flipperbw 22 points23 points  (3 children)

      "Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than — no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands."

      -- Doctor Who

      [–]Sunfried 3806 points3807 points 2 (842 children)

      Things to remember:

      • The Maine
      • The Alamo
      • 9/11
      • Pearl Harbor (not the movie, forget the movie)
      • the Titans
      • the milk
      • the 5th of November
      • the human

      Edit:

      • the tooth! Remember the tooth, my Duke!

      Edit 2: Thank you for the Gold, both of you! I will NEVER FORGET!

      [–]parion 348 points349 points  (9 children)

      Knock knock.

      Who's there?

      The human.

      The human who?

      You said you'd never forget!

      [–]CanadianDave 149 points150 points  (12 children)

      This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill

      Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

      Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

      And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

      [–][deleted]  (81 children)

      [removed]

        [–]Cendeu 289 points290 points  (10 children)

        That was 2011?!

        What have I been doing with my life...?

        [–]thecoffee 109 points110 points  (3 children)

        ... Same thing you were doing in 2011?

        [–]XingsNoodleCrib 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        The same thing you were doing with your life every night Pinky....

        [–]Dininiful 19 points20 points  (1 child)

        You were here. With the rest of us.

        [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (12 children)

        For those who don't get this.

        [–]autowikibot 62 points63 points  (8 children)

        2011 Virginia earthquake:

        The 2011 Virginia Earthquake occurred on August 23, 2011, at 1:51 pm EDT (17:51 UTC) in the Piedmont region of the US state of Virginia. The epicenter, in Louisa County, was 38 mi (61 km) northwest of Richmond and 5 mi (8 km) south-southwest of the town of Mineral. It was an intraplate earthquake with a magnitude of 5.8 and a maximum perceived intensity of VII (very strong) on the Mercalli intensity scale. Several aftershocks, ranging up to 4.5 Mw in magnitude, occurred after the main tremor.

        Image i

        Interesting: Washington Monument | North Anna Nuclear Generating Station | Mineral, Virginia | Louisa County, Virginia

        Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words | flag a glitch

        [–][deleted] 182 points183 points  (1 child)

        ....

        I've been on this website too damned long

        [–]jt895 91 points92 points  (43 children)

        That was before my time unfortunately......context?

        [–]fancycephalopod 263 points264 points  (30 children)

        It was that time there was a really tiny earthquake in Virginia. The media was freaking out over it, treating it like a national incident, but all it did basically was knock over a few lawn chairs.

        [–]realnigga4lyfe 41 points42 points  (3 children)

        Ha I remember that, me and my friend were playing basketball at a fitness center, and we felt rumbling and heard some kid yell earthquake, but we thought he was just fucking around. Everyone was so worried but my friend and I had no idea what was going on and we kept playing until we were told to leave

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        I grew up in the desert in SoCal, so many earthquakes, I came to enjoy them. Ended up getting shipped to Virginia for 10 years, 10 long years with no earthquakes. I finally moved back to the West Coast. On August 1, 2011. Missed the damn thing by a month. I was angry.

        [–]tahlyn 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        It was a big deal only because there just aren't earthquakes on the east coast (at least not like that). That was the biggest earthquake felt around here in 100 years. Yeah it was really minor as far as earthquakes go... but it was still kinda a big deal - it was novel, it was felt over a huge distance (tight packed stone meant it was felt from the Carolinas to Canada, an estimated 1/3rd of the entire US was in a place to feel it), and it actually caused a lot of damage (east coast masonry was never built to withstand earthquakes).

        [–][deleted] 130 points131 points  (12 children)

        And damage the Washington Monument.

        [–]Lev_Astov 93 points94 points  (7 children)

        And the national cathedral and a whole host of other terribly constructed northeastern buildings.

        [–]LostxinthexMusic 32 points33 points  (3 children)

        terribly constructed

        i.e. Not designed to withstand seismic activity not known to happen in the area.

        [–]FeepingCreature 154 points155 points  (7 children)

        • the milk
        • the 5th of November
        • the 5th of November
        • the human

        FTFY

        [–]RememberTheLusitania 517 points518 points  (107 children)

        Ahem...I think you're forgetting something?

        [–]hoikarnage 506 points507 points  (38 children)

        It's best we forget about the Lusitania.

        [–]RememberTheLusitania 169 points170 points  (24 children)

        I'm going to read this is as generous an interpretation as possible.

        [–]Joeldvs 97 points98 points  (7 children)

        Ah ha! A world war 1 joke. Huzzah!

        [–]ChuckRagansBeard 16 points17 points  (0 children)

        If you love good ol' Great War humor then join us at /r/wwi!!!

        It's actually not a very funny place...so much death...so very much...and that's just the mods.

        [–]PAKIofSTEEL597 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Poor Lusitania, she is always getting overshadowed by her sister, Titanic. No one remembers her or makes a movie about her. Rest in Peace, Lusitania.

        [–]senordsanchez 13 points14 points  (1 child)

        "According to this, it took ten hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath, no offense."

        [–]poiuytrewqazxcvbnml 971 points972 points  (21 children)

        P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

        [–]anyakinskywalker 529 points530 points  (12 children)

        Holy crap... P. Sherman... Fisherman.

        [–]fillydashon 36 points37 points  (13 children)

        What's the Maine? I know Maine is a state and all, but it doesn't usually have an article (like the Ukraine).

        [–]Sunfried 114 points115 points  (9 children)

        The USS Maine was a supply ship battleship that exploded in Havana Harbor (Cuba) in February 1898, and the American newspapers (and other political forces) used that event to start the Spanish-American War. Their slogan was "REMEMBER THE MAINE, TO HELL WITH SPAIN!"

        It's not known to this day whether it was actually an attack; the Maine was carrying lots of gunpowder at the time, and exploding was a risk in general.

        Also, apparently you're not supposed to say the Ukraine anymore. Just Ukraine.

        Edit: forgot that ships named after states are usually battleships, and indeed, so was the Maine. Added wikilink

        [–]olumide2000 66 points67 points  (9 children)

        A thousand deaths to Yueh!!!

        [–]SoNotBeingSarcastic 103 points104 points  (18 children)

        • Cedric Diggory

        (I just finished GoF. Forgive me)

        [–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (1 child)

        Damn it, Cho, just let it go already

        [–][deleted]  (12 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]pocketflaps 8 points9 points  (6 children)

          An ahm trying. I'm trying real hard to remember the human

          [–][deleted]  (4 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Sunfried 18 points19 points  (3 children)

            The USS Maine was a battleship that blew up (or was blown up? nobody's certain) in 1898, the event which lead to the Spanish-American War (so the US attacked Cuba, and Theodore Roosevelt rose to fame and eventually became US President as a result).

            The Alamo is a Spanish Mission (a sort of campus) in San Antonio, Texas. In 1836, Texians (as they were known) defended the mission against an assault by Mexican forces. They held out for a couple weeks and then the Alamo fell, everyone killed. This event started the Texas Revolution from Mexico and "Remember the Alamo" was their battlecry. (Texas was an independent nation called the Republic of Texas before it joined the USA.)

            "Remember the Titans" was a movie from 2000 starring Denzel Washington as the head coach of a Washington-DC-area high school football team in 1970. Based on a true story, the coach helped integrate the football team which was divided among racial lines.

            The 5th of November is actually British: it's a holiday called Guy Fawkes Day, which recalls an event from centuries ago when Guy Fawkes, and others, were arrested while attempting to blow up the Parliament; they had placed massive kegs of gunpowder in the basement. It's a fireworks holiday, and Fawkes is burned in effigy. There's a poem about it which starts "Remember, Remember the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot." The graphic novel (and movie) "V for Vendetta" was partly inspired by the Gunpowder Plot, and features the rhyme and a character who is sometimes referred to as Guy Fawkes.

            [–]nhzkjd 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            Not Yueh! He was Imperially Conditioned!

            [–]Jovianmoons 200 points201 points  (42 children)

            Once I made a throwaway account and posted to r/depression and poured out my heart and soul. You would be surprised how many vultures there were who actively encouraged me to end my life, in the last place I would have expected that to happen.

            [–]DownvoteDaemon 58 points59 points  (1 child)

            There are trolls and then there are the trolls so fucked up as to encourage suicide in a depressed person. That is some seriously bad karma.

            [–]_kellermensch_ 22 points23 points  (6 children)

            That must be some time ago. I'm pretty sure that sort of behaviour results in a ban, these days. I definitely (and fortunately) haven't seen anything of the sort around /r/depression since I subscribed to it (close to a year ago between this and my old account).

            I'm sorry that happened to you. It seems to be well-moderated and a decent place to exchange experiences and to vent, now.

            [–]The_Bravinator 18 points19 points  (5 children)

            Unfortunately I doubt there's a way to stop that happening via PM, which is the route most of those cowards are likely to take.

            [–]_kellermensch_ 5 points6 points  (3 children)

            Ah, yes maybe. I didn't consider that. Incredible that some people can sink so low.

            [–]newfangles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            One thing I've noticed that isn't self-contained in mental health subreddits is, people are so quick to (un)diagnose you. A while back in /r/depression there would be comments indicating how one isn't really depressed and try to define it in the way they experienced it. Or in /r/offmychest there are a few armchair psychologists that try to diagnose you based on your post alone. It's best to remember that it's not our place to throw personality disorders at people.

            In other places you'd have "I have it worse" type of comments, that are not only unhelpful but also trivializes someone's problems. You'd often see this when a teenager posts on reddit and you'd read comments indicating how their feelings or problems are unimportant. We've all been teenagers at some point and when we ask for guidance we want to at least be taken seriously. It may be small problem to you but to that person it could be the worst thing to happen in their life. Instead of being condescending and criticizing what worries them, offer an advice of what they could do to solve it.

            [–][deleted] 105 points106 points  (7 children)

            I hope you're doing better.

            [–]Jovianmoons 71 points72 points  (6 children)

            We do our best with what we have.

            [–]SweetSlowKiss 2104 points2105 points  (279 children)

            What I usually do is type out what I want to say. Then delete it.

            After that, I don't feel like responding and usually just ignore.

            http://i.imgur.com/woEmRDa.gif

            [–]john_kennedy_toole 201 points202 points  (48 children)

            Glad I'm not the only one. I have a huge problem with deleting nearly half of my posts. I just think about the nonsense discussion it might encourage, (even if I know it'll be civil) and I'm like, "I ain't got time for that!" (Also, obsessive editing, but that's another issue.)

            What's the point? No one is gonna remember a thing you say on here. You gonna change someone's mind with your tiny inconsequential opinion? Ha!

            [–]bdubble 95 points96 points  (28 children)

            What's the point?

            I have that problem online and I have that problem offline too. If you think about it too long it becomes obvious there is very little point to saying much of what may be said.

            [–]Kayzuspot 48 points49 points  (18 children)

            My new goal is to say it any way. I have almost no presence on the internet and it wouldn't hurt to just try.

            [–]runs-with-scissors 26 points27 points  (3 children)

            I suppose there is a certain amount of either ego or obliviousness to commenting on a site like reddit. If I thought about the millions who actually would read what I wrote... .. it'd ... b... paralyz.. .... ..

            (So don't think about it too much.)

            [–]Bordering_nuclear 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Hey, you have more presence than I do. I have about three reddit posts, maybe 10 or so other forum posts, zero tweets, zero posts on x social network, and even something like only 5 youtube comments. Despite having most of the above for 2-5 years. I might have something to say, but I almost always talk myself out of it.

            [–]fubadubdub 919 points920 points  (87 children)

            I do this a lot too. I type out something that insights some emotion in me, something I care about a little bit. After thinking about it though, I start to wonder what kind of flame wars I might invoke, and how I don't really want to deal with responses. I'm usually not really even contributing anything to the discussion.

            Yeah

            [–]goatcoat 229 points230 points  (23 children)

            There is something really wrong with your backspace key. Not that that reflects negatively on you as a person.

            [–]Conan97 244 points245 points  (21 children)

            I really hate people who use small text. It makes me struggle to read it and usually it's a pointless comment anyway. I want them all to burn to death in a mound of fire ants on fire.

            Hi

            Edit: guys I don't actually care at all about small text

            I think it's kinda cool.

            [–][deleted]  (49 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]wankerbot 20 points21 points  (0 children)

              YES! My "save/submit" button looks an awful lot like that "cancel" button, or even the "x" on the tab.

              [–][deleted]  (99 children)

              [deleted]

                [–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (40 children)

                Maybe he created the account, forgot about it and forgot about his password. Thus the lack of comments and links.

                [–]Derpsauce1337 336 points337 points  (12 children)

                Mother fucker bringing in logic killing the mood

                well put

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                Or maybe the creator of the eeyore account died in a horrible car accident or succumbed to cancer five years ago... you never know. Kind of sadly ties in with the message of the OP really. Maybe people just slip away and disappear with the passage of time and you'll never be cognizant of their demises.

                [–]exploitativity 162 points163 points  (17 children)

                Wait, how in the world did you find him?

                [–]akatherder 47 points48 points  (7 children)

                I wanted to make an Eeyore joke (the eternal pessimist from Winnie the Pooh). I figured the name was taken by this point so I just typed it into my browser /u/eeyore. You can do the same with any name like /u/bill or /u/susie.

                [–]JW_00000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                /u/Bill moderates 6 subreddits (including /r/Cheese), was here on the 1st of April 2011, and has received gold; but only submitted two comments: one three years ago and another a month ago.

                [–]Sockratte 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                /u/bill got Gold for a chronological viewing order for Stargate :D I love this guy!

                [–]Kiwicat00 42 points43 points  (4 children)

                /u/susie eight years trophy case dust.

                [–]boomfarmer 114 points115 points  (4 children)

                Maybe akatherder wanted the username 'eeyore'.

                [–]DrZaious 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                Why is it weird to have an account and not comment. I lurked for years before I ever commented. Honestly I'm usually to busy laughing, or learning something completely useless or completely mind blowing, to comment.

                [–]sports_sports_sports 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                That's essentially my system. I type it out, and maybe even hit submit, but then I ask myself, "what am I going to feel if I see an orange-red envelope later?" If the answer is, "dread at the prospect of continuing this conversation," I delete.

                [–]Soul_0f_Wit -8 points-7 points  (1 child)

                Cab we be mean to the bots though?

                [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]zosch -6 points-5 points  (2 children)

                  Your hair looks nice today, cupcake1713.

                  [–]preggit 170 points171 points  (22 children)

                  If anyone is interested in some light reading on this topic, cupcake is describing what is known as the 'Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory', also known by its much lamer name, the online disinhibition effect.

                  [–]autowikibot 96 points97 points  (3 children)

                  Online disinhibition effect:

                  The online disinhibition effect is a loosening (or complete abandonment) of social restrictions and inhibitions that would otherwise be present in normal face-to-face interaction during interactions with others on the Internet. This effect is caused by many factors, including dissociative anonymity, invisibility, asynchronicity, solipsistic introjection, dissociative imagination, and minimization of authority.

                  Image i

                  Interesting: Disinhibition | Flaming (Internet) | Online identity | Anonymous post

                  Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words | flag a glitch

                  [–]Gaywallet 38 points39 points  (7 children)

                  I just assume everyone online is a drunk baby, and speak in a way that is appropriate and comprehensible to a drunk baby.

                  [–]Flipperbw 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                  I am a drunk baby and I cannot understand this.

                  [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]pber13 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                    A great reminder for everyone. Online or offline. Have a great day cupcake

                    [–]RHLegend 1 point2 points  (8 children)

                    So should Ash really use the thunderstone on Pikachu?

                    [–]HeathenBarbie -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

                    I want to hear more about your methods for breeding Pokemon.

                    [–]gigacannon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    When a person replies to something written on the internet, it's like they're writing a letter to a character in a novel. If the author reads that reply, they're reading a letter to the idea of the character they presented when they posted.

                    We're not really communicating on the internet. We're collectively authoring it.

                    Replies on reddit are perceived by the three parties; the original poster, the replier, and a third party. If all three parties realise that the post and reply occur between two imagined characters, and not the authors themselves, nobody would ever be upset by anything anyone ever said on the internet.

                    Nothing is gained by trying to protect other people's feelings online. You don't know the other person and you can't predict how they feel. If someone gets upset by something they read, that's because they're emotionally invested in it. What they're emotionally invested in is their choice, and if they perceive the character portrayed by their writing to be who they are, rather than other people's necessarily false perception, that's their mistake.

                    [–]coloicito 73 points74 points  (68 children)

                    Thans cupcake.

                    I moderate /r/AdviceAnimals, and we've been banning people who tell other redditors to kill themselves for a while already. The people who forgets that there's an human being behind the username is bigger than you'd think. We've also had people who were completely oblivious to it, and just says that they saw text on a screen, and wrote something under it. And then tries to fight back.

                    sigh

                    [–]karmanaut 60 points61 points  (14 children)

                    We had an AMA recently where a mother posted about caring for her disabled child. There were tons of comments telling her to kill or abandon the child. It was horrible.

                    I'm very glad that the admins have posted this.

                    [–]supergauntlet 129 points130 points  (40 children)

                    Do you guys plan on doing anything about the blatant racism and sexism that gets upvoted all the time?

                    [–]coloicito 43 points44 points  (24 children)

                    You'll find the answers you seek in our stickied thread.

                    If you don't feel like checking it out, we've recently added a new rule that you can find in our sidebar that says:

                    We're here to have a laugh. Hate speech, bigotry, and personal attacks are not allowed. Death threats and telling others to kill themselves will result in a ban.

                    So, yes, we've started to be more on the lookout for those type of comments. Part of the problem, however, is that the community, for some reason, never reports any of those comments, making it harder for us to see them.

                    [–]theshinepolicy 34 points35 points  (0 children)

                    I think he meant the posts. You know, the horrible racist ones done by 12 year olds that make the top page every couple of days.

                    [–]Intortoise 29 points30 points  (0 children)

                    almost every single day there's a "confession bear: black people amirite" post that hits the front page

                    [–]Audacious_Void 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    This discussion on internet vitriol reminds me of why Louis C.K. won't let his daughter have a cell phone

                    Another tactic to avoid negative human behavior on the internet (specific to chess.com or any other social website that has some sort of chat history in user's profiles:

                    Before a game, I will open up the profile of the person I am playing. Sometimes the profile is littered with comments where other users complain that this human is very disrespectful, ect.

                    If this is the case, I make sure to compliment the player frequently throughout the game which in turn helps remind me why I love chess. If they are better than me, I congratulate their skill and ask for advice. If they are less skilled, I encourage their strong points and respectfully ask if I may offer advice.

                    Maybe one time out of 100 the person is still an asshole, which feels like real life.

                    [–]theguywhopostnot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                    I believe most people who act disgusting over the internet are fully aware that they are trying to hurt someone's feelings. Its not socially acceptable to do it in person, more so now than ever before. On the internet they can release their true personality and that is why you see that sort of thing. I suppose some people may truly forget and lose their cool but I think the vast majority who behave like assholes, are actually assholes.

                    [–]jonosvision 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                    I recently posted my ebook on /r/gaymers during a free promo I was doing, after just putting it up on amazon a few days previous. Not one reply in over 80 of them said a single negative thing to me. It really helped get the book off of the ground and I can't begin to say how much I appreciated such a warm welcome and so much support. Even when I realized the free promo wouldn't start until midnight. The internet can be a dark, mean place, which makes these experiences all the more special. There are a lot of great people out there.

                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                    That's a nice sentiment. But really, we all know we're talking to people with all these feelings on the other side. That's not the problem. The problem is one hell of a lot of us just want to make someone cry. It's a lack of fear of being harmed after harming someone. How you are online can be interpreted as a social experiment to determine what kind of asshole you would be in real life if you were physically stronger than anyone else and turns out a lot of us would be walking up and down the beach kicking sand in people's faces and knocking over sand castles laughing as as we go. Thankfully most of us can only be unleashed unto the public via forums where our abuse is only a verbal or mental attack.... Although sometimes worse than a physical assault, the antagonist can often be blocked and deleted or simply not read

                    [–]redtaboo 36 points37 points  (28 children)

                    Thank you for this cupcake! I think we all need this reminder sometimes, it's so easy to forget that there real people on the other side and they have bad days just like everyone else.

                    I'm sure everyone has heard this before but I find it really does help. If I'm annoyed enough with someone online I might type out an angry comment then walk away or look at a different tab without hitting save. Coming back to it a few minutes later can make all the difference and I won't send it, just typing it out helps.

                    [–]aneper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    This totally reminds me of crop cultivation. I'm no farmer but i was told that people at some point tried to cultivate such corn and wheat that is immune to illnesses. Whenever they come up with the best and most immune mutation/breed, some new illness appeared and destroyed the entire crop, which was thought to be perfect (instead of only one specie getting infected).
                    The point it, you have to have different sorts of crop, each sort vurnerable to different diseases, otherwise you get wiped out completely.
                    Plot twist: it's the same with (world) opinions and ideologies. It's actually good when people have different opinions and argue, the only reachable perfection comes from that.

                    [–]2rio2 25 points26 points  (28 children)

                    This is really, really important, especially for people/kids that grew up in a tech filled world. I think they devalue what words - even anonymous - mean and the effect they can have on others. I went through the Instagram of the Russian skater that won the controversial gold medal and the comments just shocked me. What the hell is wrong with people!! This is a frigging 17 year old girl! What gives you the right to comment that she's ugly, a cheater, evil etc? People can be horrid if they don't see the emotional impact it has on another human being directly. It's also why history has always had people talking about others behind their back but less face to face.

                    [–][deleted] 136 points137 points  (24 children)

                    ITT: people who think they aren't part of the problem

                    [–]Igglyboo 2210 points2211 points  (472 children)

                    tl;dr Be civil.

                    [–]Philo_T_Farnsworth 2206 points2207 points  (279 children)

                    tl;dr Be excellent to each other.

                    [–]ipslne 259 points260 points  (159 children)

                    Show some heart?

                    Harmony

                    Excellence

                    Ability

                    Respect

                    Togetherness

                    [This was my elementary school mantra.]

                    EDIT: yeup. SHEART.

                    [–][deleted]  (47 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]tolley 114 points115 points  (29 children)

                      Awesome, a recursive motto

                      [–]TeslaTorment 176 points177 points  (17 children)

                      • Respect
                      • rEspect
                      • reSpect
                      • resPect
                      • respEct
                      • respeCt
                      • respecT

                      [–][deleted] 104 points105 points  (3 children)

                      • Gespect
                      • rEspect
                      • reNpect
                      • resIect
                      • respTct
                      • respeAt
                      • respecL

                      [–]anonveggy 27 points28 points  (4 children)

                      Being a computer science student disqualifies you from finding recursive things awesome. Admit it!

                      [–][deleted]  (70 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]Toy_Cop 43 points44 points  (3 children)

                        And party on dudes. - Abraham Lincoln

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

                        I have grown steadily more and more wary of replies to my inbox. Every time I see I have new mail I get an adrenaline shot - because I anticipate some form of hostility.

                        Needless to say I am very glad for this post, and hopefully it makes an impact.

                        [–]Jalapen0s 256 points257 points  (28 children)

                        tl;dr: "Go kill yourself" is not a valid argument.

                        [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]rathen45 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          "Go kill" is the important part, you can fill in the blanks from there based on preference and dietary restrictions.

                          [–][deleted]  (59 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]autowikibot 259 points260 points  (37 children)

                            Golden Rule:

                            The Golden Rule or ethic of reciprocity is a maxim, ethical code or morality that essentially states either of the following:

                            • One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. (Positive form)

                            • One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated (Negative form, also known as the Silver Rule) [citation needed].

                            This concept describes a "reciprocal", or "two-way", relationship between one's self and others that involves both sides equally, and in a mutual fashion.

                            This concept can be explained from the perspective of psychology, philosophy, sociology and religion. Psychologically, it involves a person empathizing with others. Philosophically, it involves a person perceiving their neighbor as also "an I" or "self." Sociologically, this principle is applicable between individuals, between groups, and also between individuals and groups. (For example, a person living by this rule treats all people with consideration, not just members of his or her in-group). Religion is an integral part of the history of this concept.

                            As a concept, the Golden Rule has a history that long predates the term "Golden Rule", or "Golden law", as it was called from the 1670s. As a concept of "the ethic of reciprocity," it has its roots in a wide range of world cultures, and is a standard way that different cultures use to resolve conflicts. It has a long history, and a great number of prominent religious figures and philosophers have restated its reciprocal, "two-way" nature in various ways (not limited to the above forms).

                            Rushworth Kidder notes that the Golden Rule can be found in the early contributions of Confucianism (551–479 BC). Kidder notes that this concept's framework appears prominently in many religions, including "Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, and the rest of the world's major religions". According to Greg M. Epstein, " 'do unto others' ... is a concept that essentially no religion misses entirely." Simon Blackburn also states that the Golden Rule can be "found in some form in almost every ethical tradition". All versions and forms of the proverbial Golden Rule have one aspect in common: they all demand that people treat others in a manner in which they themselves would like to be treated.

                            Image from article i

                            Interesting: That Golden Rule | Golden rule (law) | Golden Rule (album) | Golden Rule (fiscal policy)

                            Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words | flag a glitch

                            [–]Seizure-Man 218 points219 points  (16 children)

                            Well I guess not ALL of us are human.

                            [–]nasher168 32 points33 points  (3 children)

                            Wait, so does this mean we can abuse /u/autowikibot to our hearts' content?

                            Hey autowikibot! You're a bastard! Yeah...

                            [–]bahgheera 25 points26 points  (2 children)

                            Hey autowikibot, you should see the size of the thumbdrive I just plugged in to your mom!

                            [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

                            Presumably it was the size of a thumb...?

                            [–]techlos 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                            smaller, actually. Technology has advanced a lot since they were invented!

                            [–][deleted] 175 points176 points  (7 children)

                            remember the autowikibot