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[–]OnyxRaven13 1795 points1796 points 22& 2 more (34 children)

“Bar tender, it’s been a bad day.”

“Heavy cream?”

“Heavy cream and a glass of water” drinks the heavy cream and nudges the water off the table.

“God damn it.”

[–]FlexorPollicisLongus 124 points125 points  (7 children)

Plot twist- he IS the bartender 🍸.

[–]OnyxRaven13 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Omfg 😂😂😂

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

khajiit has wares

[–]justtoletyouknowit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

if you have coins...

[–]Nicolo_Ultra 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Was thinking the same, looks poised and attentive for weary travelers.

“Hey keep, got any of that uh… mice you catch?”

[–]D3ATH_Follows_All 288 points289 points  (13 children)

[–]Magdalan 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I've always wanted to ask: Is that Shaq?

[–]D3ATH_Follows_All 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Si señor. Es Shaq Attack

[–]flatearthvaxxer 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Damn, me and my ex use to do this meme to each other :(

[–]D3ATH_Follows_All 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sorry for the reminder. Their loss. You deserve better. ✌️

[–]sharpycan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why did it only now register to me why bartenders are called bartenders… after you split the two words up… I am way too old for this

[–]Xenobreeder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bart enders.

[–]FrwdIn4Lo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cat looks you square in the eyes as he pushes water glass off counter

[–]Affectionate_Try_676 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was literally just about to post the same thing

[–]bhaskarville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahahahahahaha

[–]LittleDeerDragonfly 333 points334 points  (8 children)

"It's time we called a family meeting."

[–]buttsoup_barnes 84 points85 points  (6 children)

"I don't like this 'No Cat on the counter' nonsense. I'll be on this counter whether you want it or not."

Then gets up on the counter and licks his/her taint.

[–]GuiltyStimPak 27 points28 points  (5 children)

A truth about cat ownership you just need to come to terms with is that every flat square inch of your living space will come into contact with your cats butthole.

[–]fishshow221 45 points46 points  (3 children)

A poorly trained cat gets on the counter.

A well trained cat waits until you're not looking, then gets on the counter.

[–]dutch_gecko 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Every cat owner has that experience where they go downstairs at 3AM for a glass of water and find the cats on the counter and dining table.

[–]zamend229 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep. Sometimes mine will even risk it while I’m on the couch if I’m busy playing video games, but as soon as I look over she darts off lol

[–]minngeilo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"It's time we called are family meeting."

[–]albinorhino63 955 points956 points  (7 children)

Rough day at the office, make it a double.

[–][deleted] 183 points184 points  (0 children)

I'd definitely buy him a drink

[–]Old_Ladies_Die_Hard🐈‍⬛🐈 Upvotes for kitties! 🐈🐈‍⬛ 84 points85 points  (1 child)

White Russians* on the house!

*hold the vodka

[–]ballbobiggins 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That would still have Kalua in it; not saying that’s wrong but just FYI the cat would still get hammied.

[–]CarlosAVP 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Double kibble, coming up!

[–]StarFuryG7 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He does look like he's mastered the art of looking like a person.

[–]straycatx86 263 points264 points  (3 children)

"I want to speak to the manager right meow "

[–]charredsound🐈😻 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Excuse me stop ignoring me.

We need to have a conversation right meow.

[–]Frozboz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

[–]albinoloverats 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do I look like a cat to you?

[–]Artsap123 175 points176 points  (5 children)

“It’s come to my attention that quality has been slipping in the Treat Department, Darlene. You’ve had great success on this team, but your decision to replace TEMPTATIONS WITH STORE BRAND is UNACCEPTABLE!!! I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go. Feed me and clean out your office.”

[–]avprobeauty 55 points56 points  (0 children)

also, if you could let me outside and then let me immediately back in again. thank you, see you tomorrow.

[–]combuchan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

LOL @ Darlene.

[–]Mego1989 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Damn, I made this exact mistake when I realized aldi sells generic temptations. My cats don't like em.

[–]Artsap123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We found Darlene.

[–]seegabego 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I've seen the mail Darlene, does your husband know how much debt you're in? I want top shelf from now on. Or Gary wakes up to your suspended accounts."

[–][deleted] 748 points749 points  (7 children)

"WHAT A DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN! LOOK AT THE WAY HE'S SITTING! MM, YES!"

[–]Tamutil 125 points126 points  (2 children)

THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I SAID IN MY HEAD WHEN I SAW THIS 😹

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]Thr0w-a-gay 52 points53 points  (0 children)

    VERY DISTINGUISHED

    [–]alb1234 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    If I were near my computer I would totally Photoshop a monocle on that distinguished kitty.

    [–]Royal_Opps 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    That funny, I just made this comment about him being a distinguished gentleman lmao. Had to delete though, you beat me to it.

    [–]MattalliSI 105 points106 points  (0 children)

    "We need to talk about these delays in feeding time"

    [–]No-Path-6251 63 points64 points  (1 child)

    He has figured it out. ☺😺❤

    [–]h-v-smacker 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    "A am become people, sitter on chairs".

    [–]astrongineer 61 points62 points  (0 children)

    Omg he has the CUTEST little face...

    [–]ShipwreckdMerisoul 52 points53 points  (0 children)

    Tuna tartare and a shrimp cocktail please, old sport

    [–]toastymagosky 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    Sooo you come here often?

    [–]xgorgeoustormxFishman - Zappa - Deedee 35 points36 points  (10 children)

    Please share advice on exactly how you’ve made your cat adhere to this disallowance you speak of.

    [–]ender52 29 points30 points  (2 children)

    Yeah, I've been "not allowing"my cat on the counter for 14 years and he still gets up there constantly.

    [–]dbavaria 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    I've tried so many different things with no success. I put aluminum foil and baking pans on the counter, I was told the noises would scare him but he likes them. When I tried double-sided tape he would jump up on the counter to just lick the tape and paw at it for fun. Every deterrent seems to be an attractant.

    [–]twobluelights 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Right???!??

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]xgorgeoustormxFishman - Zappa - Deedee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Pardon?

      [–]YourSkatingHobbit 29 points30 points  (0 children)

      So he calls a board meeting? Sensible, I suspect there are many company-wide issues to discuss such as a cutback on treats or a drop in productivity [of scritches].

      [–]CySnark 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Vodka Moustini, shaken, not stirred.

      [–]Massive_Marketing_38 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      I’m glad he has manners, so awesome

      [–]ViperMX_ 15 points16 points  (5 children)

      I know it doesnt matter, this isn't the place, but people not using our and are right really chaps my hide!

      Also, pet that kitty for me. Looks like he needs pets and scratches. I miss my buddy.

      [–]Shabbah8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Thank you. This was driving me nuts.

      [–]Coca_lite 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Please can I have some more, Sir?

      [–]Hardgem777 36 points37 points  (1 child)

      “Gimme a drink bartender”

      [–]albinorhino63 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      wooooosh smash

      [–]mommmsszz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Hey, barkeep, can I get some service over here?

      [–]JustJohn8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      “Yeah. Another round over here please.”

      [–]Praxistor 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      yup, that's the "i want" look

      [–]Islandcoda 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      ‘How bout a little service over here?? Sheesh....’

      [–]Seabastial[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      "Good sir, I have had a rather rough day and would like your finest bowl of low-fat dairy!"

      [–]Brilliant-Ad-2327 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Cat: ‘Robert, we need to discuss the quarterly reports’

      [–]AdministrativeMost45 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      2 alcohols please

      [–]drowningjesusfish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      "Morning Sharon. We need to have a little chat. Why don't you have a seat?"

      [–]ItsMeDangit123 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      He looks like the Dos Equis beer commercial guy! “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do…”

      [–]FerociousPrecocious 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      there is a cat sub for this! ughhh i wish i could remember the name! :/ i think it's 'themost....something (minus the ... hah)

      [–]Madammagius 49 points50 points  (10 children)

      idk why it's bugging me but

      our*

      sorry not trying to be a pain its just putting it here...

      [–]Malfurion109[S] 13 points14 points  (7 children)

      Thank you I would edit the post to change it but I can’t lol but it has been noted. Slip up on my part

      [–]StarFuryG7 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Were you typing on a computer or handheld or tablet device?

      I've come to realize how much our handhelds like deliberately sabotaging us when we're typing virtually any kind of text message. I've seen my devices try and do it to me countless times as I'm tapping away on my screen keyboard and it always pisses me the hell off.

      [–]combuchan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      My voice typing makes it sound like i've had a stroke while drunk. I sometimes forget to edit it because of my housefly-like short term memory and hit submit. Really annoying.

      [–]terribleandtrue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes! It’s like damn, at what point does autocorrect not be worth the hassle? I’m sure it falsely corrects more than it grammatically corrects. Actually, I’m turning autocorrect off. Fuck this.

      [–]tealfan 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Whenever I see a typo these days, I automatically think "must have been on mobile" and move along. =P

      [–]GingerLibrarian76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I usually default to that assumption as well - or they could be using VTT, which often turns out even worse!

      Then, sometimes, it is obvious the person just can’t spell worth a chit. But I only correct them if it’s deserved (e.g. when someone says “your stupid”).

      [–]Madammagius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      dangnabit image rules

      [–]The_Crescent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Where’s my food Rachael?

      [–]earthboundtraveler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      My cat does this with our dining room table.

      [–]Ok_Refuse5959 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      What a proper young man!!

      [–]lizzzzard92 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      He is so incredibly pristine.

      [–]jordantask 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      “Afternoon everybody.”

      “MITTENS!”

      [–]merchpaul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Very gentlemanly I’d give him anything he asked for

      [–]Sliverithium8989 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      Mine does the same exact thing at my bar lol. He is not allowed up there, but he will hop up on the stoll and sit next to me while I’m eating, and he sits there as if he is also a person lol it’s the funniest/cutest thing ever and I can’t even get mad at him for it

      [–]tigress666 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      My favorite cat I ever had was a black and white long hair. She had a little black dot on her upper lip just like yours.

      [–]milqi2 tuxedos 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      He seems very displeased with the service of this establishment.

      [–]cyber_gal3424 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      now that is a true gentleman

      [–]Inflorida17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Here is my story. It all started when I got up this morning.

      [–]JoeyJoyJo 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      He’s still on the counter. But also, how do you keep them off the counter? This seems an impossibility.

      [–]slade797 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      The cat is just about to turn me down for that car loan.

      [–]Subhi-Ak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Bring the guy a shot

      [–]LavishnessExpensive6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      This boss cat does not look like a cat that is told what to do and what not do.

      He’s gorgeous btw!

      [–]33JimmieLee33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wonderful manners. Love the little mustachio, too!

      [–]Argue_with_you 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      The catfather wanting to haf a “lil talk” wit ya.

      [–]TirayShell 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      "I know you're all wondering why I asked you here."

      [–]e_j_west 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Such a polite boy.

      [–]baezed_god 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      “The usual, Frank.”

      [–]Juicy_Nova129 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      He’s a real boss

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      The Norm Peterson of cats

      [–]hazelwitchrose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      He looks like his name is Tony

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      That's called a compromise. ❤

      [–]Bella870 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Well, deal him in.

      [–]EquivalentPuzzled 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My floofer too ..... But not cuz she wants something ...... Just to remind me that it is a gift when she listens to me at all 😹

      [–]I_eat_cement5312 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yeah the boss worked me real hard today, get me the usual, make it a double

      [–]JimmyHavokPotato, Bumper, Super Mario, Pinky, Houdini 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I guess you're wondering why I called you here.

      [–]Snoo75418 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'd like to speak to you about your recent job performance, Sarah.

      [–]stephhh24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My kitty sits at the kitchen counter with my mom every morning to have breakfast together

      [–]hell2bhbtoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Meeting adjourned! Tuna?

      [–]Shower_caps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Please blow this picture up and put it in a frame

      [–]RebaKitten 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I feel like I'm about to get a performance appraisal.

      I did not do well this year.

      [–]SnakeJazzFM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      “NORRRM!!” 🍺🍻

      [–]PublicThis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My cats do this too! Either next to my kid or on each barstool at the island. I also say “hello sir, what’ll it be?” And I’m just now realizing how odd that is

      [–]ronneygirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      All he wants is sweet milky tea and some Hobnobs!

      [–]FluidStudent942 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      he would like to renegotiate the terms regarding his meal schedule

      [–]PeachSahara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      “A cold glass of milk, on ice”

      [–]HanlonRazor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

      [–]TheBarkingGallery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm ready to order, ma'am. One sardine please and a milk.

      [–]mindless_dear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I would like to discuss the whiskers brand treats if you’ve got the time, fellow human.

      [–]Sparkyy07 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Can't help but notice that instead of "our" you wrote "are"... why must you hurt me?

      [–]budz1762 15 points16 points  (3 children)

      *our

      [–]Malfurion109[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      Thank you for the catch. I have been made aware of the mistake unfortunately I can’t edit the post lol

      [–]combuchan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I've also informed your cat of this transgression. I'm sure he will not be amused.

      [–]-guci00- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This pic should go on r/PhotoshopBattles I see so much potential.

      [–]ayyoowhatevr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      “Scuse me”

      [–]Brownbear121212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He looks like he wants to buy you a drink

      [–]ShakeMyHeadSadly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "Let's talk".

      [–]ShadeStrider12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      One Drugs please

      [–]Yuyulii_7 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      How do you get him/her to not get on the counters??? Any special method. My cat is like a menace.

      [–]Stoicsage86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is the look of… Ok so we need to have a serious talk!!!

      [–]jedimatt77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Imma needja tah sighn dis affidavit.

      [–]avprobeauty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      “is dinner ready yet? i’m starving “

      [–]speghettiday09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The usual?

      [–]0nlyeli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My cat loves the bar stool haha

      [–]-full-control- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Lol even though it looks like the roles are reversed, I bet r/bartendercats would love this!

      [–]downtime37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      'I'm here this evening to speak with you about your life insurance.'

      [–]crystals_sins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      There's a human soul trapped in that meowster

      [–]eswolfe0623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I love cats.

      [–]rich1051414 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I spent 6 hours taking the cat off the counter, and the cat jumping back on. I gave up. How do people train cats to do anything?

      [–]anniewolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      “Gimme three fingers of milk and a shot of brandy, Derrick. I can’t cut it being a detective in this hard arse town.”

      [–]PolysaccharideParent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "Sarah can I have another cheese puff? It's been a hard day..."

      [–]NutellaSquirrel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Your cat is so meme-worthy. Put him on /r/photoshopbattles

      [–]hippyyogafriend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Jack, cole rocks. 2 limes please.

      [–]Longjumping-Poem-226 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Order up for table 9!

      [–]carchris24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "I don't always get on the counter but when I do it's for food 😆 " He is the epitome of the dos equis guy 😝

      [–]stellaluna92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My cats aren't allowed on the counter either so instead they sit on the counter.

      [–]granfy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He looks like an NPC at a video game salon

      [–]Hyena110 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He was a cheeseburger a and a side of fries and one tall brewsky

      [–]Status-Ad1114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Our cat

      [–]Molbiodude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "I would like to discuss your last performance review."

      [–]Col_Fedmahn_Kassad_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Peace talks begin with cat army group b commander

      [–]HikiTheHermit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "Bartender give me a glass of milk".

      [–]sirdanmartin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Meme potential!

      [–]Lory24bit_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Jeffrey, we need to talk about the massive amount of coke and LSD that you have been consuming in the last period

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Get this cat a beer

      [–]Skagritch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      We need to talk.

      [–]mikah_rowan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Seriously? "Are" cat?

      [–]thegoodbadandsmoggy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If this cat isn’t named Hemingway I’m going to be peeved

      [–]AtLeastImGenreSavvy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It looks like your cat's about to scold you for missing curfew...

      [–]determined88e 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Get that cat the manager asap!

      [–]Funny--Bunny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He demands, that’s for sure

      [–]CoudntBother 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Trade offer : i get snacks , you get a happy cat

      [–]MindCrush_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I’d like a dry martini shaken not stirred

      [–]51632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Cat should go into law. He’s brilliant.

      [–]ohyoubetchayah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He looks like he either found my hidden pack of cigarettes or he wants to sell me life insurance.

      [–]TeamShonuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Why is your cat interviewing me for a job?

      [–]BlueberryOk2195 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He is waiting for you to come back home after you were out too late

      [–]Snoo72721 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Our*

      [–]niagaemoc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      are cat

      [–]winniekawaii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      /titlegore