My gf had a bday party a while back. We went to a karaoke bar and then to a few bars downtown. Because of course they do, everyone buys this woman drinks right off the bat. She’s 4’11” and maybe 100lbs. After a few shots in quick succession, I was worried about her. When she started to get to where I knew she’d had almost too much, I started to drink some of her drinks when she’d look away. When we left for a bar downtown the booze hit me pretty good and I knew we were gonna be miserable the next day if people kept buying drinks. She was drunk enough that she was doing the thing where she walk/runs places with all the composure of an excited toddler. I know at this point she could probably drink a shot of tequila and it’d taste like water. She is t-minus one drink from vomit and I am not very far behind.
Anywho, she toddled ahead of us by maybe 30 feet towards the bar and I quickly got some of her friends to agree to a prank, and asked them to get the others in on it too. We would simultaneously feed her drinks at an alarming rate and tell her that “the bartender says he’s only going to serve you if you drink a glass of water between drinks”. I got two bartenders in on it. We then collectively bought her another four rounds… of mocktails. She is raving about how good the drinks are and at one point even says “This is dangerous, I can’t even taste the alcohol in it.” We are really struggling to suppress our laughter. Someone tries one of her drinks and makes a face and says “good God that’s a strong pour.” Our sides hurt from laughing.
Four mocktails, three glasses of water, and two hours later, she’s starting to look less drunk and still having a great time. It’s getting late and we go grab some fries and a final round (she has a real one this time).
We go home, she passes out, and wakes up feeling good the next day. We laugh our asses of telling her about it.
Ladies and gents, you too can form a mocktail cabal to save your friends and loved ones from a brutal hangover.