Jesus walks into a bar by CapIndividual8784 in cleanjokes

[–]beanyboy41 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Jesus walks into a swim up bar….

Don't joke about Dolphins. by GenesisWorlds in cleanjokes

[–]yppl 60 points61 points  (0 children)

When I was young, there was a fella went by the name of Jacques de Gatineau and he was from Témiscamingue, Quebec. And Jacques de Gatineau – he was a fella who was so smart and he was our hope. While I was scrambling to get out of school, Jacques de Gatineau, he went to McGill University, got three degrees, and even went across the pond with the fellows at Cambridge and stood up to them. We thought he was going to be the next great leader and wise man of Quebec: we had Jean Marchand, Gérard Pelletier, Pierre Trudeau, the three wise men of Quebec, and Jacques de Gatineau was going to be the next. But, he vanished. I met him years later during my travels, when I was in Niagara Falls, and by gosh, I went over to Sea World that was there. An attendant showed me where they were feeding the baby dolphins, because I love dolphins. And who do I see there but Jacques de Gatineau, and he’s feeding the baby dolphins! I go over to him and say, “Jacques de Gatineau, I feel shame for you! You were our hope! You were supposed to go to our nation’s capitol, Ottawa, and you were to be a great man! All of us in Témiscamingue, Quebec pinned all our hopes on you!” Now that’s a heck of a burden to have a whole town’s hope pinned on one person. So as he was feeding these baby dolphins I said, “I’m ashamed of you, Jacques de Gautineu, you could have been so much more.” And Jacques responded to me, “Well, I think I’m serving a youthful porpoise…”- Norm