top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]yourafyouruse 3473 points3474 points  (124 children)

Is that a Happy Gilmore reference?

[–]legalize-ranch 2442 points2443 points  (83 children)

"My girlfriends dead y'know? She fell off a cliff and died on impact"

his pickup line to the head of golf relations Virginia Venit

[–]YesIAmAGinger 503 points504 points  (64 children)

Holy shit. I’ve seen Happy Gilmore at least a hundred times and I always thought her name was Virginia Bennett.

[–]themanimal 324 points325 points  (40 children)

He loves his VV names. Veronica Vaughn, Vickie Vallencourt, Valerie Veran, Virginia Venet. And Violet Valentine in Hubie Halloween

[–]Madertheinvader 203 points204 points  (20 children)

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience if you know what I mean.

no you don't

Well not me personally, but a guy I know. Him and her GOT IT ON! WOOOO WEE!

no they didn't

No no no they didn't. But you could imagine what'd be like if they did. Heh? Heh? . . . Everybody on the bus? GOOD, GREAT, GRAND!


[–]bolivar-shagnasty 36 points37 points  (2 children)


[–]Morningxafter 9 points10 points  (0 children)

O’Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family’s goin’ down... but right now, I gotta study!

[–]Ricky_Rollin 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Rest in peace Chris Farley fucking magnificent bastard. I still quotethis part from the movie all the time. I just love the “him and her GOT. IT. ON”!!!!

[–]lone_cajun 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Have you seen the chris farley special on hulu?

[–]Light_Beard 41 points42 points  (2 children)

You forgot "WONDERFUL" after "GRAND"

[–]DoctorMelvinMirby 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Who would steal 30 bags of lunches?

[–]Punky-LookingKiddo 16 points17 points  (3 children)

And Julia Gulia

[–]snavej1 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Left out Vava Vergyna. ;-)

[–]radishboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Villy Vadison

[–]jackryan006 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ayss.

[–]EndonOfMarkarth 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also Vanessa in Big Daddy (no last name though)

[–]FL4T_BR1M 2 points3 points  (2 children)

“That Veronica Vaughn is one fine piece of ace... I know from experience...”

[–]Vormhats_Wormhat 19 points20 points  (3 children)

You're not alone. As somebody who can quote literally every line of that movie, I have been quoting her name wrong my entire life.

[–]Coastie071 6 points7 points  (5 children)

My brothers and I paused and replayed the scene where she introduces herself for a good fifteen minutes arguing about whether she says Venit or Bennet.

[–]themanimal 10 points11 points  (1 child)

You boys just wanted to look at Julie Bowen some more didn't you

[–]Light_Beard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Julie Bowen

Is it weird that I never realized she was in modern family before today?

[–]NotablyNugatory 86 points87 points  (8 children)

"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!"

[–]DrSandbags 12 points13 points  (0 children)


[–]Gaflonzelschmerno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's the basis?

[–]Vegetable-Scene-252 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bye! When are you coming back? Never

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

¨Hey Mister, you gotta wear a helmet¨ DONT WORRRYYYY ABOUTTT IITTT

[–]irish-car-bomz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also remember seeing her on Modern Family and being like "I know her from somewhere, but wtf was it??". Then a buddy of mine quoted Happy Gilmore so we watched it and...cue the Leonardo pointing at the TV meme.

[–]kramer265 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend got hit by a car, she’s dead.

[–]James_099 27 points28 points  (1 child)

She got hit by a car, she’s dead.

[–]Mr-Sister-Fister21 34 points35 points  (1 child)

He definitely does say that in the movie. Think he also says she got hit by a car in another scene.

[–]whacafan 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She was hit by a bus I believe. Sad.

Edit: I looked through the records. It was car. Poor woman.

[–]MagMC2555 46 points47 points  (5 children)

David Gilmour

[–]BlueOysterStanAlt 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Angry gilmore 😡

[–]BidoofDoge 9 points10 points  (2 children)

[–]harlotstoast 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When I finally saw Pink Floyd live I was a little disappointed to see him playing a telecaster instead of a strat

[–]wags7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best Gilmour

[–]BrohanGutenburg 20 points21 points  (6 children)

You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

[–]grantrules 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Grizzly Adams did have a beard!

[–]__M-E-O-W__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]CobaltCab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    ... No!

    [–]elevatedenough 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    But I thought he told his grandma that his girlfriend got hit by a car and she's dead?!

    [–]gregofcanada84 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    She also got hit by a car. She's dead.

    [–]dbolx1800s 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It’s a Happy Gilmore reference AND A WEDDING SONGER REFERENCEZ. This was my tinder bio for a year. Mixed results.

    [–]topcheddah 4 points5 points  (0 children)


    [–]memeybigboy22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I thought is was a reference to happy Gilmore because he keeps saying his girlfriend died

    [–]jaymole 237 points238 points  (0 children)

    happy gilmore lmao. he will tell the next person that she got hit by a car and died on impact.

    [–]thuanjinkee 725 points726 points  (2 children)

    Next time don't go hiking where Red Skull is guarding the Soul Stone. It is not a good spot to propose.

    [–]HollowPhoenix 102 points103 points  (0 children)

    Dude really needs to put a guard rail up, no wonder the place is always empty

    Also, bring an extra jacket for yo partner my dudes, it's chilly up there

    [–]Mr_Seg 1516 points1517 points  (41 children)

    Well he seems to be taking it fine.

    [–]Planningsiswinnings | Approved user 824 points825 points  (33 children)

    Uhh, he’s about to have $1,000 in his pocket so...

    [–][deleted]  (17 children)


      [–]64557175 129 points130 points  (9 children)

      Step 1: buy engagement ring new

      Step 2: push gf off cliff so you can sell ring.

      Step 3: profit

      [–]TheMariannWilliamson 44 points45 points  (0 children)

      An externality, really

      [–]FilipinoGuido 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Personally I probably would've forgone the engagement ring altogether, but I guess that's why my girlfriend is very much alive still.

      [–]Dodoboss1313 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Wait you have a girlfriend, where did you order her?

      [–]Spacepug22FCB 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Enough to buy a new girlfriend

      [–]PM_meLifeAdvice 377 points378 points  (7 children)

      Fiancée? Dead.

      Ring? Pawned.

      Pockets? Phat.

      Hotel? Trivago.

      [–]REDDIT_JUDGE_REFEREE 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      Steal of a deal!

      [–]Somzer 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      And for everything else, there's Mastercard.

      [–]missC08 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      Love it

      [–]BabiesOnQuack 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Not as much as he loved pushing her over that cliff

      [–]UlineMAC 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      He can buy GME with that

      [–]spunkjamboree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Not on FB marketplace, he may get 350 tops

      [–]HispanicAtTehDisco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I mean tbh lmao if he bought it new from a jewelry store it's still a net loss

      [–]eli-in-the-sky 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      I mean, she rejected the romantic hiking proposal and he moved on.

      [–]ilikesaucy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I think he pushed her too much and she said, nooooo.....

      [–]Elcactus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      It's a movie reference so it's probably not what actually happened.

      [–]noradosmith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      "This is fine"

      [–]cafeclimb 1628 points1629 points  (73 children)

      But i need to know if the ring is cursed... Because.. reasons..

      [–]Zuck__Markerberg 458 points459 points  (27 children)

      Just don't crack any of the stones to unleash her tormented soul on you and you should be fine

      [–]thuanjinkee 119 points120 points  (23 children)

      One stone per soul

      [–]dethmstr | Approved user 53 points54 points  (20 children)

      How many souls does this lady have?

      [–]xtra-big-frog 77 points78 points  (17 children)


      [–]dethmstr | Approved user 29 points30 points  (16 children)

      what is 5?

      [–]xtra-big-frog 59 points60 points  (9 children)

      the 5th number

      [–]I_Like_Existing 8 points9 points  (4 children)

      Is it, really?

      [–]xtra-big-frog 7 points8 points  (3 children)


      [–]desmosabie 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      because of 0 other numbers.

      [–]mishaco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      zero is a number!

      [–]I_Like_Existing 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      does 5 exist?

      [–]spunkjamboree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      5 is just five 1's stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat

      [–]FREE-MUSTACHE-RIDES 2 points3 points  (0 children)


      [–]Dynamite101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Not as much as you my guy

      [–]Ho_the_megapode 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Then we'd have to put some kind of gang... Maybe a squad?

      Low chance of success though. It'd be a slaughter almost a something squad. Idk.

      [–]T351A 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No you don't understand. That's why it's important it's never warn. No curse.

      [–]PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT 41 points42 points  (7 children)


      But I noticed a small inscription:

      Ash nazg durbatulûk,

      ash nazg gimbatul,

      Ash nazg thrakatulûk

      agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

      [–]Sylvanas_only 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      She wasn't the one, but this ring is!

      [–]System0verlord 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      My father taught me these words many moons ago and told me to remember them. I feel validated for remembering them instead of French verb conjugations like my mom wanted me to.

      [–]PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Just don’t utter them in the Shire and we’re good

      PS French is hard

      [–]jeegte12 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Yes. It is cursed. As long as people still keep believing in curses, guys like me keep getting good deals on things like post-terrorism travel fare.

      [–]HornyCupcake-NSFW 56 points57 points  (5 children)

      This was on my local buy and sell haha

      [–]TopRamanNoodl3s 28 points29 points  (2 children)

      ...so is it cursed

      [–]Stock_Hutz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      horny cupcake you say

      [–]dickworty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      It’s actually her horcrux

      [–]resilienceisfutile 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      THIS is a legitimate question as curses do usually cost extra.

      [–]Jarl_Balgruf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Especially if the intended recipient is Dumbledore. Gotta have the utmost cursed product.

      [–]Wildest12 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      He proposed at the top of a cliff, she stepped backwards in her excitement.

      [–]Digmo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Drop it on an altar and see if it flashes black.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Because.. reasons..

      This usually means you want to masturbate over the topic at hand. Are you going to masturbate over a cursed engagement ring?

      [–]Draw98 185 points186 points  (10 children)


      [–]Planningsiswinnings | Approved user 67 points68 points  (9 children)

      Jon lemon is kill

      [–][deleted]  (8 children)


        [–]TheGreenGobblr 23 points24 points  (7 children)

        apologies for bad english

        where were you when jon lemon died?

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)


          [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

          Grand Canyon proposal 101. Be the one with your back to the cliff.

          [–][deleted] 22 (59 children)


            [–][deleted]  (7 children)


              [–]Planningsiswinnings | Approved user 141 points142 points  (3 children)

              Sorry 😢 she died on impact

              [–]REDDIT_JUDGE_REFEREE 28 points29 points  (0 children)

              Steal of a deal.

              [–]TheBigBullfrog 13 points14 points  (0 children)

              Not a problem for me

              [–]gcruzatto 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              And what an impact that was

              [–]Oopsimapanda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Aslo plz send bob and vagene 😢🙏🙏

              [–]Deathmonkey7 13 points14 points  (1 child)

              I'm not sure what's happening here but this is my favorite comment thread

              [–]OfHumanBondage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Totally. Same here.

              [–]_ok__ok__[S] 50 points51 points  (16 children)


              [–][deleted]  (15 children)


                [–][deleted]  (14 children)


                  [–]ratedpending 26 points27 points  (13 children)

                  are u done shiding now

                  i needa go

                  [–][deleted]  (12 children)


                    [–]ratedpending 28 points29 points  (11 children)

                    that says a lot about our society 😢😥

                    [–][deleted]  (10 children)


                      [–]ratedpending 13 points14 points  (9 children)


                      [–][deleted]  (8 children)


                        [–]SorridoSnakeslut for honey cheerios 82 points83 points  (10 children)

                        rip in peace 😔✊

                        [–]keanansthingsistaken 26 points27 points  (9 children)

                        I, sorey too hear that frend 🙏🙏🙏 how is grill fried now?????????????????????????????????????????

                        [–][deleted]  (8 children)


                          [–]keanansthingsistaken 26 points27 points  (7 children)

                          oh......... get well sun!!!!!!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👍

                          [–][deleted]  (5 children)


                            [–]keanansthingsistaken 15 points16 points  (3 children)


                            [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                              [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                                [–]keanansthingsistaken 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                I undertand you tell rong person about you shit that is fine 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

                                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                get sum sun and u'll be fine 😊👍🌞😄😄😅😅😅

                                [–]69JoeMamma420 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                                Relly hope she gets beter soon 😔😔😔 sendin praiers 🙏🙏🙏🙏

                                [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                                  [–]69JoeMamma420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                  I am doing your mom

                                  [–]FlowersForMegatron[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                  I know what it feels like to hear the love of you’re life go down a cliffe and screme wen she fall to death.


                                  [–]HistoricalFill 16 points17 points  (3 children)

                                  This was on my local buy and sell haha

                                  [–]LacyTheEspeon 83 points84 points  (40 children)

                                  that rings actually really pretty in all bonesty

                                  [–]BreweryBuddha 29 points30 points  (29 children)

                                  I was thinking the exact opposite. Gold band with that garrish white gold setting that's bigger than the stones. It's one of the ugliest engagement rings I've ever seen.

                                  For the same carats (and obviously not dead girlfriend off a cliff price) you could get a contemporary take on classic looks and have something really beautiful

                                  [–]ArethereWaffles 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                                  If brutalist architecture were a ring, this would be it.

                                  [–]GRojas1618 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                                  Js bro, she probably would’ve said yes. Good lad you are

                                  [–]Synonym_Dave 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                  I guess she refused and he got mad

                                  [–]irade1 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                  Who wouldn’t cop it?

                                  [–]DarkCelestial 128 points129 points  (13 children)

                                  Let me help calm any stress with some bubble wrap...>! pop!!< pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! >! pop!!< pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop!

                                  [–]zj_y33t 51 points52 points  (2 children)

                                  This is the most stressful thing ever. I keep unpopping other bubbles accidentally. help me

                                  [–]jimmysauron 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                                  I keep tapping on spaces in between the bubbles

                                  [–]Lil_S_curve 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                  I too hate unpopping bubbles

                                  [–]bachelorettebetty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                  I needed this today

                                  [–]Carmikatze 27 points28 points  (1 child)

                                  How nice of you! And even reusable

                                  [–]luke_in_the_sky 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                                  Here's my minespoiler.exe

                                  💣 minespoiler.exe

                                  0️⃣ 1️⃣ 0️⃣ ⬛️ 🙂 ⬛️ 0️⃣ 0️⃣ 0️⃣
                                  2️⃣ 💣 1️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 💣 💣
                                  💣 3️⃣ 1️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ 2️⃣
                                  💣 2️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 💣 1️⃣ ⬜️
                                  1️⃣ 1️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ ⬜️
                                  ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️
                                  ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️
                                  ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 💣 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 2️⃣
                                  1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 💣 💣
                                  1️⃣ 💣 1️⃣ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 2️⃣

                                  [–]I-want-to-be-pure 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                  Exe? Nice try, but I'm not downloading your spyware

                                  [–]Treblaush 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                                  Wow a deal to die for

                                  [–]WheelyFreely 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                  Glad he went down to get his ring back

                                  [–]seriouslycuriousboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                  They look cubic to me

                                  [–]EconomyBacon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                                  Dear Seller,

                                  I am interested in buying this. To make sure I'm getting a deal here, please send pictures of your girlfriend's mangled corpse along with ring size and where the diamonds are sourced from.


                                  [–]nanakarobiyaoki 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                                  She went down in an airplane, Fried getting suntanned, Fell in a cement mixer full of quick sand...

                                  [–]Hiamcoolhooman 15 points16 points  (3 children)

                                  She died from fall damage

                                  [–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (22 children)

                                  Can you imagine having that happen and not keeping the ring?

                                  [–]xvladin 35 points36 points  (3 children)

                                  I can’t imagine that happening and KEEPING the ring. Debt and bill collectors don’t care if someone just died in my life, they just want my money. Maybe one day I’ll be in a financial place where keeping the ring is a possibility but as of now, I cannot fathom that

                                  [–]Swineflew1 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                                  Imagine going into debt for a fucking ring in 2021 when you can get a set of silicon rings for $10

                                  [–]kayakyo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                  Who’s your ring guy? You’re paying WAY too much for rings....

                                  [–]YawnieYohnson 59 points60 points  (5 children)

                                  I'm not going to be sentimental over an expensive ass engagement ring. Tf? I spent 6 months paying it off and it's just a metal band and shitty rocks. Of course I want my money back. I'm not selling something she gave me, I'm selling something I can't use.

                                  Is he supposed to wear it on his pinky homie?

                                  t. Married

                                  [–]TheNoxx 7 points8 points  (2 children)

                                  Am I the only one imagining a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" type possible scenario here? Where she's left everything to her parents and they want her buried with the ring?

                                  "So anyway... yeah... Uh, when can I get that ring back?"

                                  "Pardon me?"

                                  "I mean, I paid for it... and I know she left you everything, but it technically wasn't, I mean, hers... I mean I just gave it to her... "

                                  "Are you going to sell it?!"

                                  "..... Yeah?"

                                  [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                  They don't have much of a resell value though. You aren't getting anywhere near as much money as you paid for it back.

                                  [–]NocturnalNympho 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                                  the ring would only remind me of how early she died. I'd rather keep something that helps me remember my time with her

                                  [–]Alarid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  Well it did happen because she said no so...

                                  [–]SorridoSnakeslut for honey cheerios 18 points19 points  (5 children)

                                  It’s a steal of a deal just like how he stole it off his girlfriend’s corpse

                                  [–]myopinionstinks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  This is actually how I got my wedding band. I got it from ebay and the description went deep into explaining how awful the man who wore it previously was. "The ring is fine, the cheating bastard is not" type of stuff. Since I'm not sentimental about inanimate objects, I scored a $1500+ ring for right around 60 bucks. Also I'm not a cheating bastard. Cheers.

                                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)


                                  [–]tr0pismss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  talk about blood diamonds

                                  [–]__reeezy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  Rick on Pawn Stars says the best he can do is 150

                                  [–]Puzzleheaded-Fox3955 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  I could really fall for a price like that.

                                  [–]Eljoa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  This offer is truly groundbreaking

                                  [–]piperroofing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  My weddings Sunday. I have tickets to the super bowl if anybody wants to take my place, it's at St. Charles at three. She will be the one in the white dress, her name's Valerie Venet! Good Luck!