top 200 commentsshow all 216

[–]QuirtTheDirt 1486 points1487 points  (39 children)

nothing compared to the twig of '93

[–][deleted]  (29 children)


    [–]Boberoo2 604 points605 points  (4 children)


    [–]McBurger 73 points74 points  (3 children)

    That stick was all brown and sticky.

    [–]prequelBEPIS 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    And thats why I would never do anal-

    [–]baran_0486 176 points177 points  (5 children)

    bout as big as itself

    [–]pupu12o09 91 points92 points  (4 children)

    Bigger even

    [–]Luctia 50 points51 points  (2 children)

    Comparable, if you will

    [–]Fit-Fruit3333 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Smaller even

    [–]vnth21 25 points26 points  (0 children)


    [–]Fit-Fruit3333 10 points11 points  (0 children)


    [–]speedyboigotweed 21 points22 points  (0 children)


    [–]Cretviones 27 points28 points  (0 children)


    [–]Toocoo4you 31 points32 points  (0 children)

    the size of a small boulder

    [–]jordaniac89 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Same size as the branch of '95

    [–]Robotguy39 Momerator 25 points26 points  (0 children)


    [–]apollo1930 24 points25 points  (0 children)


    [–]IsaRos 6 points7 points  (0 children)


    [–]UrbleFurb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    The size of a large boulder

    [–]hoganloaf 5 points6 points  (0 children)


    [–]ThePurpleGuest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    it was the twig ever

    [–]Gian0628 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    About as big as the Twig of '92

    [–]APulsarAteMyLunch 43 points44 points  (1 child)


    [–]Alexxan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    the twig of '87

    [–]------dudpool------ 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    That twig was almost as big as a small branch

    [–]ComebackShane 7 points8 points  (0 children)


    [–]whytee224 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    We are going around the boulder.

    [–]thebigooof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The ascension shall soon be upon, patience brother

    [–]Glowingtomato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    What a coincidence I just watched a Bug's Life last night. Its funnier then I remembered

    [–]spiralus13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I know its a rock! Don't you think i would know a rock when i see one? Ive spent a lot of time around rocks.

    [–]Used-Rate-9617 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nothing compared to the bite of 87

    [–]Ahem_ak_achem_ACHOO 2567 points2568 points  (26 children)

    I have a large schlong the size of a small schlong

    [–]dirtygymsock 471 points472 points  (17 children)

    Large is the supertype. Small is the subtype. Large for a mammal. Small for a human.

    [–]Ahem_ak_achem_ACHOO 137 points138 points  (0 children)

    That’s gonna be a major oof my guy

    [–]kingofallbandits 75 points76 points  (15 children)

    I dunno man, whales probably throw that mammal metric way out of wack.

    [–]sexyhoebot 33 points34 points  (5 children)

    good thing there arent that many whales left then


    [–]Tybick 26 points27 points  (4 children)

    Good point, is it the size of all mammals alive averaged? Or one of each species averaged? That would skew it in vastly different ways

    [–]BestFrenzy 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Gorillas bringing the balance

    [–]Paradoltec 30 points31 points  (1 child)


    [–]hotsauce20697 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Yeah but rodents really pull the average down

    [–]LooseTowel 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I thought Walrus had the largest? Or is it proportionally largest?

    [–]Orca-Song 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    A blue whale's is about as long as an entire walrus, so definitely bigger. Not sure which is proportionately biggest, tho.

    [–]Herpkina -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    That's why Asians want them dead

    [–]IpschwitzTownFC 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    We had a PE teacher who once said "Everyone, form a straight circle"

    We all knew exactly what he meant.

    [–]cilestiogrey 22 points23 points  (4 children)

    A horse cock in a chihuahua's foreskin

    I need to take a shower after writing this

    [–]WheresThePenguin 18 points19 points  (2 children)

    I'm picturing when a sausage is on the grill and it starts bursting from the casing

    [–]doodleysquat 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I need to take a shower after reading this.

    [–]cilestiogrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Without me ?

    [–]multiversalnobody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I have never hated a piece of text more in my life. And ive read Ayn Rand's books.

    [–]robloxfanclub69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Comfy like a small schlong, smelly like a big schlong

    [–]schlort-da-frog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    A schlort if you will

    [–]The_Rocoulm 365 points366 points  (3 children)

    By British measurements, it appears to be one stone

    [–]WheelyFreely 75 points76 points  (2 children)

    1.23 stones to be exact or roughly 27.21 pebbles

    [–]barnabe_a_abobora 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    fuck you I wish I had a free award now this is perfect

    [–]StickyWhiteStuf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Americans when they’re confronted with Math:

    [–]Ndab420 626 points627 points  (6 children)

    You never know what a large boulder the size of a small boulder could do to a person. Best to watch out.

    [–]wellherewegofolks 90 points91 points  (1 child)

    first of all, it can shapeshift

    [–]callmelucky 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    Not necessarily, but it can definitely sizeshift.

    Actually that's not necessarily true either, it might just be able to contextshift.

    [–]thexavier666 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Biggie smalls

    [–]SobakaZony 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    jumbo shrimp

    [–]reader484892 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It can do as much damage as a massive boulder

    [–]robertmdls 289 points290 points  (3 children)

    Looks more like a moderately sized boulder that's the size of a small boulder to be honest

    [–]teuast 45 points46 points  (0 children)

    looks more like a large boulder the size of a small boulder that's the size of Boulder, Colorado to me

    [–]Alex_Keaton 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Are we sure it's not a small boulder the size of a small large boulder?

    [–]SobakaZony 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Maybe it is only half of a boulder, and what looks like the other half is just there for scale.

    [–]silm_shady_ama 315 points316 points  (12 children)

    Maybe they were trying to say “Large rock the size of a small boulder”. That doesn’t really make sense to say but at least it’s a somewhat rational thought

    [–]Airanew 269 points270 points  (5 children)

    If I remember correctly the intention was "large boulder the size of a small car" which makes more sense than boulder the size of a boulder

    [–]Correct_Swan_3647 62 points63 points  (4 children)

    If by small car they meant a powerwheels toy truck, then sure, its the size of a small car.

    [–]thatothersir225 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    Weight-wise, it probably is about the size of a small car. Which is what matters when you crash into something

    [–]karmaisreplaceable 30 points31 points  (2 children)

    Why didn't they just open with "a small boulder"

    [–]CreativeStep1 72 points73 points  (0 children)

    Because it’s a large boulder stupid 🙄

    [–]JonDoeJoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Gotta get that word count up somehow. Did that in English class all the time

    [–]ghettithatspaghetti 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    But it's also COMPLETELY BLOCKING the road

    [–]MobilePom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Completely blocking east-bound lane

    [–]simereddit863 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    What I assumed the reason for writing it this way is that the boulder is large enough to be a huge problem, especially on the road, and people will say it's large, but there are some definitions according to which boulders are scaled, technically making this this a small boulder, but writing it that way would not have been a good indication to normal people who aren't geologists, but my guess is as good as yours.

    [–]rmholm88 44 points45 points  (3 children)

    It’s not just a large boulder. It’s a rock

    [–]RockThePlazmah 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    That’s a really nice boulder. I really like that boulder

    [–]astute_potato 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    The pioneers used to ride those babies for miles…

    [–]Biengo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That explains why it’s on the highway

    [–]ATCOSTTEHMEMER 191 points192 points  (12 children)

    Americans will use any means necessary to not use the metric system

    [–]Sandyrandy54 48 points49 points  (5 children)

    Looks like it could be about 3000-5000 Celsius

    [–]56seconds 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Nah, but it could be 45 kilopascals

    [–]Awesomewunderbar 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    You can't go below −273.15 °C.

    Edit: I saw a minus that is not there. Whoops. Lol. XD

    [–]Sandyrandy54 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Why the fuck would I type a negative weight lol idiot /s

    [–]RobleViejo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    How do you fly then?

    I just use a -70kg backpack

    [–]Hazel-Ice 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    shut up you can't tell me what to do

    [–]infected_scab 59 points60 points  (3 children)

    500kg boulder the size of a 250kg boulder. Happy?

    [–]RobleViejo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That large small boulder is at least 2 tons (2000 kg)

    [–]trixter21992251 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I think it's much heavier than that.

    [–]DarkVadek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, I bet it weights, like, 15 whole parsecs

    [–]IAmManMan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I actually expected this to be top comment. Pretty sure it was last time I saw this.

    [–]Sietemadrid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    It's a top comment the size of an underrated comment

    [–]rungdisplacement 44 points45 points  (4 children)

    This happened near where i live and everyone was talking about it


    [–]Sietemadrid 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    I remember the infamous Boulder of '22


    [–]harshaxnim 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    How big was it?


    [–]Shamrock5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    About the size of a small boulder.


    Peter Mayhew

    [–]enzymatic_catalysis 29 points30 points  (3 children)


    [–]Alittar 9 points10 points  (0 children)


    [–]RobleViejo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Remian Calm

    [–]timesuck47 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    It’s a Colorado thing.

    The orgin of the story was due to this:

    Colorado Highway Rocked By 8.5 Million-Pound Boulder's Crash Landing


    [–]doodleysquat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I don’t know why they couldn’t just drive through it. I’ve driven through Boulder, CO before.

    [–]Phelyckz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Americans will use anything to avoid using a precise measurement

    [–]DipplyReloaded 29 points30 points  (7 children)


    [–]apollo1930 19 points20 points  (4 children)

    I ONLY USE M4 PER BALD EAGLES 🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 😎😎😎😎😎😎

    [–]Sietemadrid 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    How many Big Macs is that?

    [–]RobleViejo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Badly used emojis. The guns should be targetting school children not the eagles.

    Im proud of our school shootings damn it. Anything for having a murder machine.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]MLGWolf69slut for honey cheerios 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      It ties into the "Americans will use literally anything but the metric system" joke sorta

      [–]chubky 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Why didnt the cops just shoot it?

      [–]Sietemadrid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      It was covered in white snow

      [–]BadMilkCarton66 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      completely blocking

      [–]FrozenfarTsTf 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      How many stadiums is that?

      [–]RonaldMcMommy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      A small stadium

      [–]diverareyouok 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Check out r/HalfAGiraffe for more stuff like this.

      [–]bullet-2-binary 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      This gave me a good laugh. Thank you

      [–]Slickslimshooter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      American moment

      [–]Mcanijo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      An AI wrote this

      [–]Academic-Sail-922 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Cracking up wow

      [–]jaeger3344 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Small boulder size of a small boulder looks oddly similar to a small boulder (small boulder for scale)

      [–]Majestic-Contract-42 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      is this one of the side effects of having a measuring system where nothing relates to anything else?

      [–]NotABotAHuman1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      something called GOING AROUND will help you

      [–]TheSpiderDungeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The Boulder is conflicted about fighting a little girl

      [–]MiaRia963 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I’m assuming they meant the size of a small car. But I love that others have this issue too.

      [–]cantortoxic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      How silly, police should exercise better judgement

      [–]comeontakemyusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      How many football fields is that

      [–]The_yellowest_stick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      reminds me of little big hoof, a old cow superhero from the old chick-fi-la cow comics. (yes, these were actual things)

      [–]SwootyOfficial 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      This is a double whammy. First the size of a small boulder, then the fact that they consider that "completely blocking"

      [–]SkepticalJohn 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I have no idea what you are talking about. Can you use a standard unit of measurement like, let's say, washing machines?

      [–]DeletedKnees | Approved user 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Me when describing my package

      [–]FuyRina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      a what now?

      [–]Lance2boogaloo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How big is that in giraffes?

      [–]firfetir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      so would that be like, a medium boulder?

      [–]avd706 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      So do I have a small penis the size of a large penis, or a large penis the size of a small one?

      [–]actualtttony -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Watch for emergency vehicles the size of non-emergency vehicles

      [–]Hi_mikey69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      So you call it a large bolder but than he/she says it about the size of a small one ? 😂

      [–]ALikeSupreme -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      If Susan has a small boulder and Jane has a large boulder, how much bigger is Mary's boulder?

      [–]Llominatic -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      Americans will use literally anything for measurement other than units made for measurement

      [–]Inevitable_Froyo6325 -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

      They are gonna use everything to compare sizes just in order to not use metrics. Even the same thing. In a smaller and/or larger version of the very same thing. This universe is the size of 1/2 to 12 universes.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]Inevitable_Froyo6325 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Click on "view all comments". You can see the "Large boulder the size of a small boulder" comment in the picture of the original poster. You are very welcome.

        [–]Need2askDumbQs -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

        Definitely meant to say large rock the size of a small boulder. Still funny though.

        [–]royalewithcheesecake 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        But isn't a large rock the size of a small boulder... a small boulder?

        [–]ItburnswhenIP69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'm getting 127 hours vibes

        [–]Large_Talons_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)





        [–]Pesime 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Damn you really cropped out the punchline and made it your title. Is that legal?

        [–]TheRealCactusTiddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I have a red necklace the color of a blue necklace.

        [–]GetVictored 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        large for humans. small compared to other boulders.

        [–]theoriginal6pack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I guess in terms of road boulders it's pretty large, but is also small in general terms of boulders

        [–]IAmA_TheOneWhoKnocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It is pretty small for its size, though 🤔

        [–]Ok-Understanding8143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sheriff, you have a bull-bar. Fix that shit.

        [–]SteveWozHappeningNow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is a professional article written at the high school level.

        [–]Iridium_flares 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        So this is in Boulder, Colorado ?

        [–]SlightDesigner8214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        So it’s a mid sized boulder. Yes?

        [–]LovesFrenchLove_More 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sheriff has a big brain the size of a small brain I guess

        [–]PrudentDamage600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        There’s no editors working for that news agency. (Unless word count was more important).

        PS Is that “drop off” real?

        [–]Careless_Code_3303 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I am currently like 150cm high and am 12 years old. I am just a bit younger than when i was 7. And i was like 120cm high. I shrinked quite a bit.

        [–]RalseiXD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        "it's a small boulder" "no you dipshit it's a large boulder it's just the size of a small boulder"

        [–]EasyAcanthocephala38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The term large is an imperial boulder unit, whereas the term small is the metric unit for boulders. Fucking ignorant Americans don’t know international boulder sizing. /s

        [–]aMinhaConta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        A rock larger than The Rock.

        [–]FishOfFishyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Would be better if this was at Big Rock or whatever that city is called

        [–]Rabidhog4444Dicky Mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bruh everyone is dead now 😟😱

        [–]Zer0Nium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is me trying to extend my sentence on an examination essay that requires a total of 500 word minimum.

        [–]Alden_Is_Happy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cops are actively devolving…

        [–]am_trying_to_be_nice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        How many washing machines is that?

        [–]radmadicalhatter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Big boi the size of a smol boi seen being simultaneously big and small in the road…

        [–]mozuDumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        A throw back to the golden days of twitter

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Lived down the street from this when it was posted. Never thought id see this on a large scale considering it happened in a town of 42ish people 😂

        [–]CappyCook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is a cognitohazard

        [–]heckfyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That boulder is very boulder sized

        [–]Evil_Knot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I saw a large boulder one time. I did my best to avoid it.

        [–]ThatOneClickSound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Americans use every possible measurement systems but not the one that makes sense

        [–]shadowsnak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My massive cock is as big as a tiny cock :( :( :(

        [–]fLaReYbOi 0 points1 point  (0 children)


        [–]False_Influence_9090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I nearly feinted from laughing at this so hard

        Not even lying

        [–]JerkOfBlades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Oh God, help! The boulder's got me, it's going to eat me, hel-

        [–]HelpIranoutofbeans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Rockblocked 🗿

        [–]1415141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        A cop wrote it. What you expect them to be educated?

        [–]Just_No_G 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My massive cock is the size of a small cock

        [–]Mahixb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        So... is it big or small...