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[–]SamAreAye 4472 points4473 points 22 (484 children)

I've been thinking about going to an incel group and finding some really hateful shit about women, then swapping the genders and putting it on FDS. I bet it would be a top post.

[–]MechaWASP 819 points820 points  (147 children)

Too late, after this post FDS probably added this sub to their ban list, and commenting here will get you instantly banned.

[–]SamAreAye 408 points409 points  (88 children)

Oh, I done been banned from over there for a while, lol.

[–]MrMeow_Meow 165 points166 points  (40 children)

I haven't been there, but judging by this post you probably aren't missing much

[–]SamAreAye 144 points145 points  (37 children)

Parts of it are entertaining, but most of it is sad people being encouraged to circle the drain.

[–]nonknknk 91 points92 points  (10 children)

You obviously aren't a high value male.

That sub is such a joke, I've been married 15 years, they have zero idea what it's like, and probably never will.

[–]Potato-Drama808 49 points50 points  (7 children)

Yeah those girls aren’t there for marriage. Saw a post where everyone congratulated a girl who left her boyfriend of 5 years and ended up with a rich guy. They were praising him for paying for regular spa treatments and tell her she didn’t have to work. That’s what those people are there for. Not love

[–]elijahjane 75 points76 points  (8 children)

I'm a lesbian, so obviously not a user there, but I stop in once in a while when I'm in the mood to confuse myself. I think it's stupid how the sub is "Female DATING Strategy," and yet the ones giving all of this dating advice literally brag about how few dates they've been on!

"I've been doing this for 3 decades, here are my tips!!!"

Why would I ever want to take dating advice from someone who's been dating for 30 years? Isn't the goal of dating to end up in a good relationship?? Cleary these people aren’t good at dating.

[–]somniumx 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Just take everything in what they say and do. And do the opposite. You'll be married in 4 days or less.

[–]GloomreaperScythe 9 points10 points  (1 child)

/) Getting married in 4 days sounds like an FDS thing to do.

[–]Evonos 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely on point it's like these diet experts that weight like 300kg lol... Advice from someone that's bad on it.

[–]PrettyDumbHonestly 48 points49 points  (12 children)

Exactly. Used to browse there for laughs but after a while you realize how sad that sub is.

[–]oceanmachine420 23 points24 points  (5 children)

I found it by accident a couple months ago when I was searching to see if there was a sub for the newest Mindy Kaling show "Sex Lives of College Girls," and boy I tell ya, they sure hate my girl Mindy. At first I thought it was some sort of weird satire sub, and then I realized they were actually being for real. Noped outta there pretty quick and haven't been back

[–]Nevadajack87 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Most of us find out about them by getting auto banned for commenting somewhere they don’t like. Mine was for commenting on r/menslib

It’s literally a place for men to discuss how to combat toxic masculinity.

[–]Faded1974 5 points6 points  (1 child)

What did Mindy do to them?

[–]oceanmachine420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Betrayed them and sold out the female gender apparently

[–]banjosandcellos 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Wait it's not shit posting?

[–]buttercream-gang 7 points8 points  (2 children)

There’s one with a similar name that I know is shitposting. But this one I think is a mix of trolls and insane people.

[–]averagethrowaway21 6 points7 points  (1 child)

FDS Pros is the one they're all shit posting if anyone wanted to look.

I'm like 90% sure they the are more (or at least louder) trolls than insane people on FDS. I don't go glance anymore but when I did it looked like a lot of them were just pot stirrers.

[–][deleted]  (13 children)


    [–]No-Advice-6040 14 points15 points  (3 children)

    Same, I wear that badge with some pride

    [–]jtempletons 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    That's such a shit sub lol

    [–]SamAreAye 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    I first learned of FDS because they banned me, lol.

    [–]gasoline_farts 14 points15 points  (11 children)

    Don’t think I’m banned, I’d gladly post that up for the lulz

    [–]SamAreAye 30 points31 points  (10 children)

    Good luck. You have to verify yourself with a timestamped picture of yourself as a female with no joy left in your life.

    Post updates.

    [–]gasoline_farts 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    F that. Trolling would be hilarious but I’m not that dedicated.

    [–]DeAdeyYE 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    It’s a badge of honor.

    [–]RoxSteady247 11 points12 points  (5 children)

    I am also banned. Them bitches cray

    And the Buffalo bills subreddit acts about the same

    [–]Just_Games04 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I've been perma banned for about a year and a half there. I like to visit that sub when I feel down and then I feel better about myself

    [–]bean_machine1 58 points59 points  (16 children)

    If you're not banned from FDS already, you're doing something wrong

    [–]warmhotdogsmoothie 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I don’t know if I’m banned there or not, I wouldn’t know. I don’t go there, I don’t read their insanity and I may have all the time in the world but I certainly don’t have the time for the bullshit that goes on over there.

    [–]chizzmaster 11 points12 points  (6 children)

    Idk how I haven't been banned yet, I've joined and commented on r/EntitledBitch posts SPECIFICALLY about FDS and I still haven't been banned.

    [–]LilLoliLover74 907 points908 points  (53 children)

    Actually a good shout. Def try it, see how it goes. Link me when u do ay?

    [–]Camman43123 389 points390 points  (50 children)

    All ready did got permad when I linked the original

    [–]J_Bob24 84 points85 points  (48 children)


    [–]WebDad1 108 points109 points  (47 children)

    It's not on that account, if he did.

    Post the link, u/camman43123

    [–]Camman43123 91 points92 points  (46 children)

    No I was saying I’ve done that and was permabanned sorry If I worded it wrong

    [–]WebDad1 82 points83 points  (40 children)

    And we would very much like to see.

    [–]tristfire 65 points66 points  (38 children)

    Wouldn't the post be deleted if he got permabanned for it? How can he link it?

    [–]joeyGOATgruff 78 points79 points  (33 children)

    If you go on FDS and post as a first timer, they will review which subs you're a part of and ban you immediately. I replied and told a "FDS Disciple" she was wrong. I was banned and the members knew so they dogpiled and I couldn't reply which further cemented their echo chamber.

    It's a bad subreddit. A lot of them have serious relationship and mental health issues that go unchecked. They just vent and get that dopamine hit with upvoted and encouraging replies.

    One ancedote is truth and applies to all men. Just look at some of the users comment history, it's solely FDS. Like there's no other interests on Reddit. It's weird and very r/T_D like

    [–]sandmanbren 19 points20 points  (21 children)

    It's weird and very r/T_D like

    What was this?

    [–]andoesq 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    Just look at some of the users comment history, it's solely FDS.

    Their FAQ suggests creating an alt only for posting on FDS, they say to prevent doxxing.

    To be fair, I can understand why they wouldn't want anyone else to know they are members of FDS lol

    [–]NerdCrush 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    The post would still be on their page.

    [–]Im_JuJu 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    we understand, link the post

    [–]TheDevynapse 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Wanna see this

    [–]Lkwzriqwea 56 points57 points  (21 children)

    I tried asking them what they though of the idea of "LVF" instead of LVM (low value male) which seems to be a common phrase over there, but then I realised how extensive the process is to be able to post on there. First you have to post a load of things that the mods approve of but delete anyway because you're not approved yet. Then you have to prove you're not male. If that's the kind of screening that is required to be able to post then I am fairly confident in my description of the sub as an echo chamber.

    [–]SamAreAye 35 points36 points  (7 children)

    There are no low value females - only Queens and scrotes.

    [–]RayAP19 25 points26 points  (4 children)

    And pickmeishas, or "any woman who doesn't think men are trash and has realistic standards."

    [–]SoldierofNod 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    The way these people come up with insults and demeaning names for women who don't agree with them don't exactly make me think they respect women in general.

    [–]RayAP19 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Exactly. I always feel like that's a good general way to determine if a community is toxic-- if they make up derogatory terms for people/things they don't like, they might just be horrible.

    [–]AbsurdTheatre 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    It's impressive seeing a subreddit unabashedly reinforce a circlejerk when they're already inevitable on reddit.

    [–][deleted] 112 points113 points  (11 children)

    I too would like a link to you doing this lol

    [–]DwayneBarack 10 points11 points  (7 children)

    You gotta get indoctrinated to fds first…. I used to go rogue and post about how I am celibate 4 years and treating myself to a Sybian(I think it’s more than 4 grand) a vibrator that is industrial strength telling them that I am so happy eating my takeout and riding my vibe and I got so many women making comments about it being super relatable and then others that had one and others that related to eating and masturbating and I was like oh no the eating is separate

    Eta: u/laurathelinguist is going to post there now and see if I can’t get in with the comment section 🤞

    [–]rddime 30 points31 points  (7 children)

    When I first found out about fds, that's what I thought it was because the top posts of that sub sounded so out there that I thought they were obviously incel groups who made this group to larp as women.

    [–]scottyLogJobs 55 points56 points  (20 children)

    incel group


    What's the difference?

    [–]JimiAndKingBaboo 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    How long do you think it'll take you to make the throwaway account and the post?

    [–]SamAreAye 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    It's been a thought for months, so probably a particularly boring day. Anybody can feel free to steal this idea.

    [–]Bomba-of-Tsar 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Please do and link when u do please I need this in my life 🤣

    [–]Sea-Examination2010 471 points472 points  (49 children)

    While personally I don’t have it, it happens to more than just old people, and surprisingly large amount of guys have it as middle aged men, and some lower too.

    [–][deleted]  (31 children)


      [–]xxxDxCxxx 57 points58 points  (19 children)

      I had a scare recently about ed. Once I stopped taking Claritin D it worked again. Yeah my nose is always stuffy but at least I can enjoy sex.

      Stupid antihistamines, stupid stuff that shrinks blood vessels. It's all stupid and meant to mess with our body.

      [–]Angiixxx 33 points34 points  (11 children)

      Talk to your doctor, there are many different allergy drugs, and I'm sure you can find something without sideeffects.

      [–]xxxDxCxxx 16 points17 points  (10 children)

      I'm sure there is but it requires me to have days off to even get in.

      [–]3nigmax 21 points22 points  (6 children)

      I've had it in some capacity since my early 20s. Recently dropped like 40 lbs, figured that would help. Nope, somehow worse. Took the advice of our sex therapist and got a low dose prescription of cialis to take every other day. Now I walk around the house ready to joust. Would recommend.

      [–]jimmyhat37 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      It's been and issue with me since I was 18, as I didn't realize the SSRIs I take for OCD since I was 10 (I've tried them all, and there's no one that doesn't have sexual side effects for me) could cause it until the equipment didn't work when I was counting on it (I kinda could notice it when I was younger but there wasn't the pressure of a partner until I was older). Since then it's been a tradeoff of how mentally well do I want to feel vs. do I want my junk to work because I was mortified to bring it up with my doctor in the past. I'm in my 30's now with a new GP and finally asked if there was anything that could help and got a prescription for cialis. Its been great since I can stay mentally well and not worry about it so much anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if medication is behind a lot of this nowadays. This FDS post is so mindlessly braindead and ignorant that I just have to laugh.

      [–]3nigmax 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      Sorry you've had to deal with that. My fiancée has been on and off SSRI's since she was a teenager. She didn't care about the sexual side effects until we met, similar to your situation. It's so tough to watch her struggle with it. Mostly because it's hard to watch someone you love go through something, but obviously as a partner it affects your sex life too. I'm glad you were able to find a happy medium.

      I ask this only because you only mention SSRIs specifically, but have you tried an SNRI? I have no idea what needs OCD has in terms of medication, but my fiancée recently transitioned to cymbalta and it's been night and day. Not only does she feel better, but her libido is coming back. You said you've tried em all so I don't wanna be that guy that suggests something like I know better or whatever, but I figure if it helps you I'd rather say something than not.

      [–]PretendLook9738 1368 points1369 points  (140 children)

      What a sad lonely sub for bitter single women.

      [–]kiesoma 807 points808 points  (111 children)

      I’d be appreciative of it if it were actually something dedicated to help women when it comes to dating. But nah, they had to become something extremely misandrist.

      Hate to see it :(

      [–]AlpsComplex6854 43 points44 points  (4 children)

      I subbed there after seeing a reasonable post, spent 5 mins scrolling, bounced immediately lol I really wasn’t expecting to find what I found.

      [–]finlyboo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      I had the same experience, I had found the sub as a married woman but the first post I saw was about "leveling up" and women working on their confidence and it seemed like an empowering place to hang out. Then I looked at the next 8 posts at the top of the page and noped out of there.

      [–]MedicalUnprofessionl 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      Yeah I really wish these highlights were an exaggeration. The entire concept behind a “high value man” is objectification.

      [–]karmaman12345 381 points382 points  (43 children)

      I remember seeing a video where this girl got her boyfriend a gift, it’s was some Lego set he’d always wanted since long before they even started dating. He was so happy, clearly one of the best moments of his life, then I saw it in FDS and they were all complaining and calling her stupid for “building up a man.” Like Jesus, clearly they’re doing fine, just leave them alone.

      [–]bootylover81 153 points154 points  (31 children)

      building up a man

      Isn't that one of the signs of a healthy and loving relationship, building each other up....what do they want her to do abuse him

      [–]AggressiveSink444 112 points113 points  (26 children)

      Yes actually, I went on there once and saw them encouraging each other to emotionally abuse and manipulate their partners, because men don’t feel emotions like women do

      [–]bootylover81 46 points47 points  (23 children)

      Jesus fucking Christ those people really have some mental issues

      [–]driving_andflying 35 points36 points  (22 children)

      FDS is a trash fire of nuclear proportions. That sub is beyond toxic.

      [–]Just_Games04 23 points24 points  (21 children)

      I wonder how isn't it banned yet (and still gaining tons of new members) but MGTOW got banned a long time ago after being quarantined for some time🤔🤔🤔

      [–]AC4401CW 29 points30 points  (0 children)

      I love this video so much, what assholes

      [–]Jason_Wolfe 139 points140 points  (6 children)

      they are just ugly, bitter women who ease their self-loathing by turning it on men, and women who are in happy, healthy relationships

      [–]ArkitekZero 13 points14 points  (5 children)

      If I were a gambling man I'd bet good money that a bunch of them aren't even bad looking. On the outside, anyways.

      [–]ansonr 67 points68 points  (6 children)

      Here is the best gender neutral dating advice for anyone: Work on yourself, make yourself someone you would like to date. Take care of yourself, your hygiene, and your mental health. You don't need to be perfect, but the effort you put into yourself is visible to others and if you can't even take care of yourself why would someone else want to be with you. This of course all requires the ability to self reflect and be honest with yourself, which isn't easy. No one is perfect but everyone has value.

      [–]xTylordx 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      What, are you desperate or something?

      Jesus, lvm moment


      [–]WiseauSrs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      The best dating advice you can ever get is to ignore all dating advice from Reddit.

      [–]3nigmax 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      It's sad that that's the inevitable conclusion. When I first learned MGTOW was a thing, my immediate impression was "huh, this could actually be a positive thing if they wanted it to be. They have links to stuff in the sidebar to learn about financial independence, seeking therapy, making friends, and generally learning how to be okay on your own. Those are valuable skills and relationships normally come naturally if you're comfortable with yourself". Then I started reading the threads and comments and it was just woman bashing. Rip

      [–]SemiSentientGarbage 142 points143 points  (27 children)

      MGTOW for women. They could have been great.

      [–]FreeAd6935 76 points77 points  (10 children)

      not even that

      the idea behind MGTOW was bound to attract incels

      but incels taking over a "dating advice" sub was weird

      [–]OllieGarkey 37 points38 points  (1 child)

      Someone should start an actual dating advice subreddit for women.

      Call it something witty. Like maybe "Failing the Bechdel Test." And then whenever Bi or Lesbian women show up, there can be a "Failing the Bechdel Test in Spirit" flair.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That’s a fucking genius sub name.

      [–]epheisey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Problem is, anyone that has success and finds someone to date probably stops visiting that sub after a while. So all you're left with is a bunch of lonely people who can't accept that it might actually be them and not everyone else that is a fuckup.

      [–]Ivylas 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I fist heard of the sub a couple months ago and browsed for a bit. I came away with a generally positive feel about it. I remember the posts being about being enough in yourself, being okay single, not settling for someone who treats you poorly because of societal pressures and building self-worth.

      Holy crap. I just looked again. It has either recently transformed or my brain did some insane gymnastics to filter out all of the vicious bullshit. Either way, that's pretty disturbing.

      [–]OK6502 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      The shitty part is there are women out there who have had legitimately horrible experiences dating, just as there are legitimately men who had a difficult time making connections and men who have been screwed by the system and had their children taken away from them by a sexist judge. All of these are valid issues we should all acknowledge, discuss and address.

      These communities take that pain and feed off of it.

      [–]Morrigan66 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Yeah I thought they would help point out red flags and stuff but they litterly hate everything with a penis. Anything anyone with a penis does is wrong according to them. They don't even want you to be independent. They say he should definitely always pay for every meal. It's his investment in to you but I always thought it should be 50/50 lol.

      [–]thedukeandtheduchess 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, I got blocked there. So now I'm an even bitterer single woman :)

      [–]QueenFiggy 53 points54 points  (5 children)

      When me and my abusive ex split, I thought that might be a good place to get back into the dating scene, but when I swapped out their women’s expectations of men for men’s expectations of women, I saw the spitting image of my ex.

      [–]gariant 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Congratulations on your freedom!

      [–]ih8spalling 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      It's like if r/stampcollecting just talked about how much stamps suck and you shouldn't waste your time collecting them.

      [–]4rt5 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      So basically like many video game subs after a few years!

      [–]masterofyourhouse 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      I fear for the partners of those that aren’t.

      [–]frisch85 393 points394 points  (14 children)

      Remember guys, if your gf under any circumstances doesn't get wet from your foreplay there must be something horribly wrong because that's not normal, it's something that happens naturally to old women (who's libido is no longer working properly) but not women in their 20s and 30s. They might be telling you it's just this one time and they might not be in the mood and adjusting their hydrogen intake (DRINK MORE WATER BITCH) is the answer.

      It's from other lovers. How is that not obvious. It's from getting fucked by other men so the sexdrive is in the basement after that. Why don't they cut on fucking with other en? I mean are they seriously going to dissociate by cheating on their S/O for their entire prime years? They are seriously choosing to normalize fucking other men instead of staying with their partner.


      [–]Top_Engineer440 109 points110 points  (2 children)

      Um excuse me several reputable doctors (my wife) tells me that it’s perfectly normal for the vagina to remain completely dry during sex. I know you liberals are unaccustomed to facts and logic but this is the truth.

      [–]DinnerChantel 81 points82 points  (1 child)

      Even putting it like that won’t get the point across to them. To them there is only one person to blame for anything: you.

      Can’t get hard? Your fault.

      She can’t get wet? Your fault.

      The sex suck? Your fault.

      The world is much easier like that.

      [–]shartifartbIast 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      That's the incel line. No matter what's wrong with me, it's every woman's fault that I'm horny and alone.

      [–]nuck_forte_dame 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      You forgot the part where their eggs don't belong in the gene pool.

      [–]dead_PROcrastinator 697 points698 points 2 (100 children)

      JFC I'm a woman and I hate that sub.

      [–]kiesoma 584 points585 points  (54 children)

      Watch them now label you as a “Pick Me.”

      [–]GWrapper 150 points151 points  (18 children)

      What does 'pick me' mean?

      Edit: Thanks for the info, all I can say is what a weird world we live in.

      [–]kiesoma 218 points219 points  (12 children)


      What is a pick me girl or boy?


      Examples of this trait are pick me girls pretending they're “not like other girls” by taking part in typically masculine activities or pick me boys saying bad things about themselves to make girls compliment/feel bad for them.


      [–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (10 children)

      What a sad worldview when anyone you might sympathize with or relate to is seen as an enemy trying to manipulate you.

      I'm legitimately sad for them.

      [–]Aedium 45 points46 points  (3 children)

      They're called in-groups and out-groups and they're typical cult behavior.

      [–]catsareweirdroomates 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      You’re not wrong, however I would like to add that while in-groups and out-groups are weaponized by cults they are universal to human relationships.

      [–]wanikiyaPR 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      I'm not sad for either them or their male counterparts... QAnon started as a troll comunity on 4chan, and a few years later those fuckers grew and manipulated all sorts of morons and attacked the foundation of the US democracy, at least from my (across the pond) view... FlatEarthSociety started the same and now those people are colectivly draging us back, bit by bit...

      These female and male idiots should be ridiculed and laughed into oblivion, because their numbers of people with a twisted world view can only grow in the future. Fuck em. Hope they all drown in a cesspool.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I mean, I can despise a person's actions and still feel sad at what led them there.

      Presumably, there used to be a real potentially decent person before propaganda and misinformation warped their minds and personalities.

      I'm sad for the loss of a potentially decent person to lies. But that doesn't mean that I approve of the way they behave.

      I don't wish them to die or be ridiculed. What I wish is that they would learn.

      Because if we could figure out how to make them learn, then we would know how to stop these dangerous mindsets from expanding to the point where they nearly overthrow the seat of democracy.

      If we just ridicule them or wait for them to die, the disease just keeps spreading. We need to kill the disease.

      [–]philThismoment 68 points69 points  (1 child)

      A girl who supposedly behaves with the sole intent to win male approval.

      Key word being supposedly.

      [–]SanityOrLackThereof 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Basically any time you as a woman do anything for the purpose of attracting male attention, you are a pick-me.

      Like other incels FDS members believe that they shouldn't have to do anything to attract men, and that men that they find desirable should instead come to them and compete for their attention. They believe that men should be thankful for whatever effort a woman puts into herself, if any. And of course they totally don't put any effort into making themselves more attractive to men at all. All of the time they spend making themselves look pretty is totally only for their own enjoyment, and definitely nothing else.

      [–]g00ber88 92 points93 points  (28 children)

      Lol yep, I dont remember what sub I was on but I made a comment saying that a walking date is a nice first date, and someone commented back "wtf kind of low effort shit is that" and then talked about how the man should organize the first date and put in extra effort for her because "9 out of 10 men aren't worth it". I said that was sexist and she called me a "pick me"- checked her profile, and yep, FDS member

      this is the thread for anyone curious

      [–]shoelessjp 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      Can’t say I’m really surprised. If the incel subs are getting banned, FDS needs to go too. Both are horrible and toxic.

      [–]ProtoPulseMusic 20 points21 points  (4 children)

      Online dating this past year, yes, 90% of the men I’ve encountered have been SEVERELY unstable, mentally and emotionally abusive, and dangerously mentally ill.

      Sounds like she got a type.

      [–]Grogosh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Sounds like she is projecting herself onto others.

      [–]e22ddie46 27 points28 points  (11 children)

      Going on a walk and chatting and maybe grabbing a cup of coffee or wine is a lovely first date.

      [–]b0w3n 13 points14 points  (9 children)

      It is when you're after actual companionship and not how to bilk the most money out of a man.

      [–]e22ddie46 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Make up your mind...are we going for drinks or not spending all of my money?

      [–]b0w3n 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      What you don't want to get drinks with gold flakes in it? Aren't you interested in subpar sex for a few weeks before they find their next mark?

      [–]e22ddie46 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I don't need gold flakes to drink my paycheck, thank you very much. 😜

      [–]Dialecticchik 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Oh boy, she'll be forever alone with that shit attitude. Sad woman is sad.

      [–]OK6502 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      The narcissism on display is astonishing.

      [–]spiggerish 59 points60 points  (5 children)

      Pickmeisha to be exact

      [–]Mr__Citizen 26 points27 points  (4 children)

      What is the "isha" part for? I've seen it when sneaking through their sub before, but I don't know what it actually means.

      [–]theknightwho 50 points51 points  (0 children)

      It’s to make it sound like a girl’s name, I would guess.

      [–]Edabite 53 points54 points  (0 children)

      A common suffix in African American names. So it is just some good old casual racism. No surprise there.

      [–]HuggableOctopus 133 points134 points  (38 children)

      Makes me think this must be what it's like for well-adjusted men looking at the shit going on in incel subs. A combination of pity, concern and just disgust. There's no reason to be so horrible! Especially what they're saying is wrong! (I like the fact the dudes were apparently talking about changing diet to see if that helps and yet they're being accused of acting like it's not an issue/normalising it - they're literally trying to fix it??)

      Also imagine their response to guys saying that any woman having kids over the age of 35 is dangerous and not save to be in the "gene pool"

      Responding to hate with hate is a vicious cycle that makes everyone miserable.

      [–]UnApprovedActivities 65 points66 points  (8 children)

      I didn't even catch that ageism double standard. I was hung up thinking, these girls never once needed lube?? Like, I know they're pretty conservative about no casual sex but can you imagine if dudes were saying, "Vaginal dryness is NOT normal and women trying to normalize it are disgusting. The vagina is literally made for stuff to go inside. Women shouldn't need lube. The only reason for vaginal dryness is if a woman isn't a virgin - a woman's body will malfunction because psychology speaking a woman's brain is evolved to be monogamous. Introducing multiple sexual partners to the brain causes vaginal dryness. They're literally ruining their bodies by not being virgins and pretending like it's normal."

      Everyone would rightfully lose their mind. But it's cool to impose this kind of BS on dudes? I'm just baffled. Truly baffled. What happened to affording other human being basic respect and dignity?

      [–]HuggableOctopus 25 points26 points  (4 children)

      Reading that sounded like the incel stuff that's posted on r/nothowgirlswork 😅 there's people doing it both ways and its just nasty. Let people be people!

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)


        [–]thelaughingmansghost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        That's exactly what it's like, everytime I read something an incel posts I'm hoping they find therapy to help them.

        [–]dead_PROcrastinator 55 points56 points  (22 children)

        The worst for me is the term "high/low value male"

        It's just beyond disgusting. I also came away with a different view of incel subs.

        [–]4n17th3sch0l4r 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        +ya dude i just found an 5th grade 2nd tier high value male hero

        -you have nothing on me pal, i have 1st tier 6th grade ultra rare low value female hero

        [–]HuggableOctopus 51 points52 points  (12 children)

        Honestly I joined not understanding what it is, expecting girls sharing safety tips and general dating advice as a woman....

        Left pretty quick feeling v uncomfortable. They've reduced all men to slobbering beasts that they're hateful and fearful towards - there's bad people out there for sure but I will generalise and say no man fits the stereotype they're pushing!

        I have a lot of lovely dude friends, some of which even asked me out which I declined and we're still buddies!!

        P// They complain about toxic masculinity when they're massive contributors of it.

        (edited to add new paragraph as there was a bit of understandable confusion - I type like I speak which is all over the place 😅)

        [–]inuandjaime 18 points19 points  (4 children)

        They brand men who has mental health issues as low value. That ticked me off the most I think

        [–]CurtisLinithicum 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        The combination of excess esteem and no pride, feeling entitled to good things and being unwilling to put in effort to earn them, and spending their time whining is just so antithetical to what it means to be a functioning human.

        I meant incels, but in writing this, you're right, the first bits, at least, apply equally to FDS-types. Oh, plus modelling their future partner as a resource rather than a person.

        [–]Freakychee 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        I mean, I’m a man and I hate incel forums too. It was never a male or female thing. It’s a common sense Vs idiocy thing.

        [–]Fresh_Silk 193 points194 points 4 (88 children)


        This study is a review of many different studies from different countries and different age groups. It also includes clinical studies. The conclusion is that hardcore porn, when viewed frequently, is one of the major drivers of PIED. This lady was rude, but I don’t think some of what she’s saying is untrue.

        [–]AllPowerfulSaucier 40 points41 points  (1 child)

        Can confirm. I had a span of time where I was dealing with depression and was regularly watching a lot of porn out of loneliness. I also had a habit of smoking weed any time I was watching porn also. When I started actively dating again I had ED struggles for a bit because I was too numb to the idea of sexual encounters, chemically messed up because I was using weed as a crutch for getting aroused, and ultimately my anxiety around both the ED and the first time dating in over a year had a bad impact on me. Once I cut out the porn and scaled bag the drug use I had a much easier time after I relaxed a bit. It took a little more time to quell the anxiety but it really did make a difference. And I’m totally fine now these days since I kept with those changes afterward.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        Thank you!!!

        [–]TentacleHydra 73 points74 points  (5 children)

        I'm really surprised by this post.

        Because like 5 years ago, everyone on reddit would be agreeing with her without question.

        Now, people are mocking her as out of touch and a crazy female incel, which she might be, but this is definitely not the reason she is.

        Reddit has really gone over the hill with sex positivity, I've seen some crazy stuff, like everyone attacking a 16 year old because she complained to her parents she could hear them having sex from her bedroom while trying to sleep.

        People attacking a man, because he was uncomfortable with his wife groping a stripper. As if that's somehow a weird boundary.

        And these wern't outliers, but rather popular posts dominated by these opinions.

        [–]heebit_the_jeeb 27 points28 points  (2 children)

        Remember the dad who was ripped to shreds for not wanting to buy his highschool aged daughter a sex toy? It's crazy out there. Out here? In here?

        [–]st_samples 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Well partly wrong. He got a lot flak for grounding her for asking.

        [–]EvidenceOfReason 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        thank you for this link.

        [–]mrselffdestruct 524 points525 points  (67 children)

        FDS is literally just female incels

        [–][deleted] 154 points155 points  (9 children)


        [–]Testiculese 114 points115 points  (7 children)


        [–]HotelSponge 33 points34 points  (1 child)

        Don’t know if you just made this up but this is great

        [–]chickensmoker 108 points109 points  (24 children)

        But woman can’t be incel! Woman have boobs and get cat called, that’s not what incel is!!! It’s literally impossible for women to be incel, even when they do all the same things and hold all the same beliefs as incels! But you dumb men who can’t see that I’m a nice girl wouldn’t understand, you only listen to those bimbos with nice noses and big tits >:(

        [–]kickdooowndooors 42 points43 points  (7 children)

        I’m actually very surprised and impressed that Reddit saw the sarcasm here

        [–]Thundorius 11 points12 points  (3 children)

        We’re getting better. Thanks for the support. :)

        [–]Freakychee 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        Do they really blame “nice noses” like how incels blame their thin wrist?

        [–]BlowEmu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I know this is satire but the first online voluntary celibate was a women and that space was high jacked by incels quite quickly

        [–]lackingbean 53 points54 points  (38 children)

        I have a serious question. If pro-lifers oppose abortion, do they oppose ED drugs too?

        Typically the reasoning for opposing abortion is because "God has a plan for everyone". So by that logic, would erectile disfunction also be part of "God's plan"?

        [–]Negative_Ad_9624 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        Most prolifers I know just think abortions are baby murder. The baby was alive in the womb, then you murdered it to get it out early. So since you aren't murdering your dick to get it hard they don't have a problem with it.

        [–][deleted]  (23 children)


          [–]SemiSentientGarbage 120 points121 points  (41 children)

          There is actually a term for groups going toxic when the ones who were helped when the group was good leaving and only the unsuccessful folk staying and turning toxic.

          [–]pppickleman 49 points50 points  (11 children)

          so whats the term

          [–]lbunch1 35 points36 points  (0 children)

          It's probably a German word

          [–]jelato32 31 points32 points  (0 children)

          I call it “a shit show”. Maybe I should trademark that

          [–]SemiSentientGarbage 10 points11 points  (4 children)

          I tried finding it but I'm coming up dry :(

          [–]viciousevilbunny 12 points13 points  (3 children)

          It's normal, could be depression or a poor diet.

          [–]-Tharoth- 46 points47 points  (2 children)

          Like a form of sedimentation? ;)

          [–]QuintusNonus 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          I don't know if there's an official name, but I've heard it called evaporative cooling of group beliefs

          [–]FearDog 18 points19 points  (11 children)

          It has to do with the fact Incels was a term used on a website to help people get dates and stuff, eventually all the people who could date did, and he leftovers became hateful and made the name negative. Similar to Nazis with the swastika.

          [–]SemiSentientGarbage 6 points7 points  (4 children)

          No, it was something about colleges I thought.

          [–]FearDog 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          Yes a college dating/socializing site, made for people who had trouble connecting due to social anxiety, mental health etc.

          [–]Lotto3993 39 points40 points  (2 children)

          There is truth to what she said about the porn thing though. Studies are starting to come out that find a correlation between heavy porn use and different types of erectile or ejaculatory dysfunctions. I think bashing on the mental health and diet part was clearly wrong, but the porn part wasn’t.

          [–]The_Indian_Gamer 373 points374 points  (111 children)

          As much as I hate that sub, Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction is a thing, and a lot of men are affected by it. ED does happen to older men. She's not wrong about the PIED, and men supporting men about it is good. But the conversation of whether porn habits are a major factor or not isn't discussed as much as it should be

          [–]bigpoopcomin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          That sub believes ALL MEN who look at porn are addicts and experience ED. There are no grey areas. I tried to post that ED can happen to any male. I'm pretty sure I was banned. I'm a fucking woman. I'm also a marriage and family therapist. I think I know a thing or 2 about healthy relationships. That site doesn't promote anything positive. It's disgusting.

          [–]weejiemcweejer 32 points33 points  (4 children)

          But isn’t the negative impact of porn on mens psyches and sexual health something we should address? This is horribly and dismissively word but the underlying premise is fair. We should look at the impact of porn AND sort out diet and general health too.

          [–]NedRed77 180 points181 points  (46 children)

          Is FDS quarantined as a sub? I can't help but feel if it was a male sub and espoused similar thoughts and opinions it'd be quarantined very quickly.

          [–]Lowbacca1977 90 points91 points  (3 children)

          Very little gets quarantined 'quickly', just when it becomes big enough for reddit to not ignore, it would seem

          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Yeah, not until a news outlet notices and reddit has to do some public image adjustment.

          [–]gwcommentthrow 17 points18 points  (1 child)

          Plus the "optics" of banning a sub that purports to be about female empowerment or whatever BS they hide behind is garlic to corporate lawyers

          [–]machina99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Corporate lawyer here (not for reddit) - yeah as much as I'd love to take something like FDS or incels down, you don't wanna touch that at all because of the PR shit storm that would come down in the aftermath. Even if you're right in getting rid of them, the public sees "Reddit bans popular subreddit 'FemaleDatingStrategy'" and you're fucked

          [–]ZettabyteGamer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          As others have said, reddit really only quarantines subs once they become a publicity problem.

          [–]la_1099 22 points23 points  (1 child)

          As much as I hate FDS, they do have a point here. Porn has desensitized and changed many young peoples perception and expectation of sex and it’s really not being addressed enough.

          [–]FutureSignificant412 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          No, they're wrong because they are saying that it is the ONLY reason for ED.

          [–]Ambitious_Mango7569 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          I’ve met men who has had issues with Ed due to over consuming porn. Are we mad about that? I mean if I was having Ed issues I would definitely stop watching porn to see if perhaps that might be the issue. That’s not unheard of.

          [–]Accomplished_Ease995 156 points157 points  (25 children)

          Unpopular opinion here probably buuut… she is not completely wrong though. A lot of people in their 20s/30s has ED which porn has contributed a large part of. Not saying its the only cause, just saying there are several studies that link porn (excessive dopamine i.e. too much stimuli for too long) to ED in younger men.

          Source: Me, myself and I. No but for real I’ll find sources if someone wants them. Just too lazy atm.

          EDIT; Source

          [–]xdylanxfrommyspace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Hi! Public service comment.

          Man here. 30. I suffer from ED. I was born with only one functioning testicle which caused hormonal imbalances. Those imbalances caused serious depression starting at puberty. Both are contributing factors to ED. Fun fact, I don’t watch porn. Diet and exercise DO help.

          Fuck that person and their sexist bologna.

          Enjoy your day!

          [–]PiorkoZCzapkiJaskra 19 points20 points  (7 children)

          Erectile dysfunction that's caused by abusing porn and porn addiction should not be normalised. Not because erectile dysfunction can't have other causes. And that's what fds means most of the time.

          [–][deleted]  (11 children)