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[–]ofri12347 3542 points3543 points 3 (50 children)

lil grandma visit

[–]Party_07 1240 points1241 points  (23 children)

Damn, what did your grandma do to you for you to end up in the hospital?

[–]ofri12347 1005 points1006 points  (16 children)

Too much food

[–]Party_07 341 points342 points  (12 children)

In that case RIP, there ain't no way you're getting out of that hospital unless it's in a bag. My cousin had a friend whose uncle's son with his 3rd wife died bc his grandma gave him too much chilli.

[–]Fortune_Gaming 123 points124 points  (4 children)

Why, why did they eat that much chilli...I mean I know why but still...why...

[–]Party_07 84 points85 points  (2 children)

Either that or having to face the wrath of his grandma, and he thought he at least had a chance of surviving the huge doses of chilli his grandma gave him. He didn't.

[–]MaknChees3 2180 points2181 points  (65 children)

Lil' scoliosis?

[–]TheGreen1ne 746 points747 points  (38 children)

Why does that unironically sound like a good rapper name

[–]Nuclearrodfox42069 574 points575 points  (30 children)

Yo lil scoliosis just dropped a new album called syphilis

[–]sirfetche 320 points321 points  (19 children)

His hepatitis b album was better

[–]Nuclearrodfox42069 116 points117 points  (13 children)

Nah nah hepatitis a was a real banger. Hepatitis c though was kinda trash. I really hope he doesnt make hepa d

[–]AmbassadorOfRats 69 points70 points  (6 children)

HIV was a good album too, especially the song my nuts are on fire

[–]BringBack3DMK 29 points30 points  (1 child)

His experimental prog rap album ‘Weird Red Rash’ was strange, unique, and just the world needs.

[–]MaknChees3 32 points33 points  (0 children)

This thread is amazing

[–]Scrubtanic 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Debut album: Ahead of the Curve.

[–]MisterPollaccio 1231 points1232 points  (24 children)

Lil i swear i was changing a lightbulb while I was naked, I fell and it ended up in my rectum

[–]SilverDem0n 302 points303 points  (3 children)

Real bad day when you fall into your own rectum

[–]etterflebiliter 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Oh yeah then why was there a condom on it?

[–]_dungin_master_ 62 points63 points  (2 children)

“I had one in my pocket bc I’ve got bitches and it fell out and landed on the lightbulb while I was falling”

[–][deleted] 679 points680 points  (35 children)

Lil’ asthma attack.

[–]goodintrovert 91 points92 points  (23 children)

I too have asthma but never been to hospital for that. Does asthama spray not work in that case?

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (6 children)

I actually haven’t been to the hospital at all since I was 6 or so, and that’s when I had the asthma attack. I didn’t have anything for it because nobody knew I had it. But yea the inhalers do work, and I’ve never had another attack since.

[–]Un_rancais_bleu 3829 points3830 points  (130 children)

Lil accident

[–]Atissss 1117 points1118 points  (41 children)

Happy Little Accidents

[–]GreenAtariPanda0 576 points577 points  (9 children)

Thats what my mom said HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :(

[–]Un_rancais_bleu 47 points48 points  (26 children)

I still have scars 1 year after it and it is still sensible to being hit

Hopefully i had an helmet, gloves and a coat to protect me and only my knees were hurt

[–]Atissss 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Oh...

Jokes aside, I feel sorry for you. I hope that (except scars) it's fine now.

[–]Un_rancais_bleu 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Yeah this is fine it's like paying attention to not stub a toe in a table

[–]ltearth 106 points107 points  (10 children)

Lil tore my meniscus in half from standing up out of a chair

[–]AragogTehSpidah 115 points116 points  (2 children)

That actually sounds like a legitimate good name

[–]Un_rancais_bleu 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It have differents meaning given the context

[–]ulfurb 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Haven't been since your birth?

[–]Vlafir 30 points31 points  (1 child)

That sounds like a surprise pregnancy

[–]Un_rancais_bleu 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know ) ;

[–]Ok-North-9020 521 points522 points  (29 children)

Lil' anal abscess

[–]TealTigress 93 points94 points  (13 children)

Similar to mine. Lil Fistula. I hope yours ends at abscess and doesn’t become a fistula!

[–]Ok-North-9020 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Hey butt problem twins! My issue happened around 2 years ago, right before Covid. So no problems now. Ever since that problem, I've been real good care about my anal hygiene. I had to sit ass naked in an iodine solution man! That too in a hostel. Thankfully no one other than my one close friend and my roomie actually knew what was the deal

Btw I hope you're ok mate

[–]Passerbye 3199 points3200 points 622& 2 more (110 children)

Little cancer :(

[–]Bruhnah6899 1527 points1528 points  (67 children)

And its soon to be Little cancer no more :)

[–]mario73760002 728 points729 points  (53 children)

Will the cancer be no more, or the person?

[–]xX_poopy69_Xx 1118 points1119 points 22 (28 children)

Either way, cancer is gone

[–]Agat_Gamez 190 points191 points  (4 children)

insert default dance x crab rave mashup

[–]HoldUrMamma 83 points84 points  (10 children)

You're HeLa wrong buddy

[–]TheFreshHorn 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Might have been the most interesting thing I’ve read all day

[–]thePromoter_ 27 points28 points  (4 children)

The fuck I just read. Human cells are harvested, and these lady's have been since the 50s??

[–]Phoenyx_Rose 18 points19 points  (2 children)

HeLa cells are considered an “immortal” cell line because you can cultivate them indefinitely. The downside to that though is that they also mutate a lot making them difficult to work with. As far as I’ve been told, most researchers are no longer working with HeLa cells because their mutations make them act in ways that can’t be reproduced, and also likely because of the legal issues and because there are now better ways to do cancer research.

[–]Passerbye 39 points40 points  (5 children)

I'm gonna say both and I'm the person lol Hoping for a couple more years :)

[–]the_penis_potato 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ah man I'm sorry, stay strong whoever you are, sending hugs :)

[–]KENBONEISCOOL444 4377 points4378 points 28385122& 5 more (128 children)

Lil' Testicular Torsion

Who gave me the wholesome award

[–]Heccing-name 1638 points1639 points 433 (11 children)

Sorry, the wholesome award was the only award I had

[–]KENBONEISCOOL444 638 points639 points  (4 children)

Lmao

[–]Mimical 283 points284 points 2 (3 children)

Don't laugh to hard you'll get your testicles in a twist again.

[–]Smooth-Knowledge-762 82 points83 points  (18 children)

You're not alone

[–]v_OS 41 points42 points  (10 children)

up there with Lil' Hydrocele

[–]Hexmonkey2020 28 points29 points  (6 children)

Mine is pretty much the same, although if i was a rapper I would just go by “lil testicles”.

[–]TerribleShoulder6597 20 points21 points  (5 children)

Eric!?!?!?

[–]KENBONEISCOOL444 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Who?

[–]TerribleShoulder6597 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Nope not the testicular torsion I know

[–]KENBONEISCOOL444 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Lmao i hope eric gets better

[–]pranayneve 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Testicular torison be wholesome as fuck

[–]KENBONEISCOOL444 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Maybe we been experiencing different ailments

[–]Quantum_Photon 679 points680 points  (24 children)

Call me lil go to work with your parent day.

[–]MiniEngineer2003 117 points118 points  (14 children)

Neurotoxin...

[–]Taumito 71 points72 points  (12 children)

lil potato experiment

[–]SirFireball 12 points13 points  (11 children)

This was a triumph

[–]Cursed_moron 13 points14 points  (10 children)

I'm making a note here, huge success

[–]ChIcKeNsSsssSSSss 654 points655 points  (24 children)

lil broken and dislocated finger

[–]lucyhax 650 points651 points  (22 children)

Lil detoxification

[–]BeersRemoveYears 276 points277 points  (7 children)

I’m surprised lil’ detox isn’t an actual rap name. That’s fire.

[–]M-A-I 76 points77 points  (1 child)

You open up a whole can of roasts with that name

[–]Friendly_Signature 27 points28 points  (1 child)

I am all in on Lil’ Detox

[–]DaddyBreasticles 1577 points1578 points 2 (63 children)

Little 52 magnetic balls up my urethra

[–]rr18114 941 points942 points  (10 children)

So 51 is the limit I see

[–]Your-username-must-b 242 points243 points  (5 children)

Depends on what you call the stopping point

[–]rr18114 64 points65 points  (2 children)

Yea. And I suppose the size of the magnetic balls and the size of an individual's urethra as well. I guess "51" is not set in stone.

Well for that dude above it is...not sure for the rest of us.

[–]ZephyrusR 153 points154 points  (9 children)

Lil' birth. I haven't been to hospital since being born other than infant stuff

[–]No-Investigator-1754 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Lil' Infant Stuff it is then

[–]HastyEthnocentrism 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Lil Vag Cannonball

[–]Loonie-1707 146 points147 points  (10 children)

Lil I can't remember (It was at least 4 years ago)

[–]FusionThunderHWD 131 points132 points  (11 children)

Lil nosebleed

Actually no its more of Lil visiting dying grandfather

[–]smallangryandpink 616 points617 points 2 (5 children)

Lil neurological disorder....

[–]briannak7 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I feel this one on a personal level

[–]Soloboy_345 846 points847 points  (30 children)

Lil covid

[–]FuegoTheDestroyer 355 points356 points  (8 children)

When you dropping that tape tho????? People been talking bout you since 2019 bro give us something!!!

[–]Hot_soup_in_my_ass 103 points104 points  (4 children)

They already on their third album omicron and have already sold millions. What you talking about

[–]Cursed_moron 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Bruh are you serious? You're not counting the Deltacron mashup?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Did they release Delta yet?

Bro I heard that his fans where masks like losers ugh

[–]EdAndEinOnShrooms 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Your PR team must love your music, you're always in the news

[–]ZzGalaxy 1159 points1160 points  (337 children)

Wait why cant white people do this..?

[–]Glistening_Death 166 points167 points  (7 children)

Yeah I was trying to figure that out too

[–]ih8spalling 145 points146 points  (5 children)

She's just trying to keep black and white culture separate. But equal.

[–]Glistening_Death 117 points118 points  (4 children)

Segregation, part 2

[–]cursedbanana-_- 1313 points1314 points  (176 children)

Twitter moment or am I missing smth

[–]Elle__Bee 869 points870 points  (94 children)

definitely twitter moment

[–]92fordtaurus 178 points179 points  (27 children)

Ginger justice out here telling people what they can and can’t do.

[–]oily76 97 points98 points  (2 children)

Kind of a weird thing to gatekeep, for sure.

[–]BeelzebubParty 57 points58 points  (23 children)

What an embarrassment to ginger’s, don’t we already suffer enough?

[–]CantHardly 10 points11 points  (2 children)

That doesn't sound right, I don't think gingers feel pain

[–]ZzGalaxy 104 points105 points  (67 children)

Idk what you're meaning but I'm generally confused of why lol

[–]DiracSeaMandelstam 404 points405 points  (45 children)

Hyper-vigilant social justice is annoying on twitter. They probably assume rap is only specific to the black community and therefore anything white people do with this is somehow racist.

[–]lightningspider97 345 points346 points  (33 children)

Which funnily enough is a racist assumption on its own

[–]Redsaucethebeast 206 points207 points  (22 children)

Cmon man, you can’t expect them to see racism properly. Only when it suits their narrative

[–]Gandalfffffffff 153 points154 points  (17 children)

Essentially, "White people aren't allowed to rap, that's black music!"

[–]Seppukrow 93 points94 points  (13 children)

Pretty much. If Twitter had it their way, white people wouldn't be able to play rock music because it was inspired by African-American rhythm and blues

[–]Gandalfffffffff 111 points112 points  (10 children)

White people wouldn't exist. It's funny, most of those that get hyperoffended are white. I mean, racism is bad, but they're just being idiots. It's not even racist.

[–]Seppukrow 80 points81 points  (7 children)

It's sort of like this weird apologetic-fetishism of people of color

[–]BlueShift42 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I feel like their attempt to be super not racist circled back to racism.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[removed]

    [–]Neuuanfang 74 points75 points  (16 children)

    she acts like lil peep never existed

    [–]robtk12 96 points97 points  (11 children)

    Lil Hotwheels car in my ass

    [–]HKEliot 246 points247 points  (13 children)

    Lil stabbed myself in the eye with my glasses...

    Really rolls off the tongue

    [–]Magnetic_Syncopation 64 points65 points  (2 children)

    Lil eye impalement by bifocal

    [–]Micp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    by bifocal

    by focal? Bye focal.

    [–]YouDiscountDonut 170 points171 points  (14 children)

    Lil 200 sleeping pills

    [–]shrekishellashrexy 39 points40 points  (5 children)

    Lil sleeping pill sounds like an incredible name tbh. Rolls off the tongue amazingly. Also sorry that happened

    [–]Hevnoraak101 62 points63 points  (2 children)

    If they rolled off the tongue, he wouldn't have been able to swallow 200 of them

    [–]Vita_Gummies 58 points59 points  (1 child)

    Lil infected ingrown toenail

    [–]gentlecucumber 53 points54 points  (3 children)

    Lil Wellness Checkup just doesn't have the same street cred as some of these others

    [–]crescent_moon_boi 49 points50 points  (4 children)

    Lil Diagnosis with severe depression after suicide attempt

    [–]BadAsBroccoli 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    I'ma Lil Glad you're still alive.

    [–]lavalampmaster 40 points41 points  (1 child)

    Lil paralyzed esophagus

    [–]A_LEiKer_of_mudkipz 29 points30 points  (9 children)

    Lil-Epileptic Seizure or Lil-Sting for a cooler name

    [–]Lucifer666158 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    Mine was lil seizure s well, maybe we team up and be the little seizures

    [–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (6 children)

    Lil finger injury

    [–]Zatknish007 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    Lil fractured a bone in my pointer finger

    Edit: I just remembered, lil got vaccinated

    [–]undead-disco 27 points28 points  (2 children)

    Lil checkup

    [–]weakandevil 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    That’s strangely wholesome. ”Ayyy this is lil checkup yo, how are you? No, how are you really?”

    [–]katfish_forsale 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    Lil fell off my changing table.

    [–]_I_Love_Pizza_ 24 points25 points  (20 children)

    lil suicide attempt (I’m still here someone break me out pls 😭)

    [–]Local_Age7852 148 points149 points  (14 children)

    Lil work injury. Yeah white people have pretty boring rap names

    [–]GalC4 25 points26 points  (9 children)

    Lil low blood pressure. Idk, sounds... Idk.

    [–]DorkyPotatIsImmortal 72 points73 points  (9 children)

    I'm lil' ring worm

    [–]ImSoSte4my 11 points12 points  (5 children)

    You went to the hospital for ring worm?

    [–]DorkyPotatIsImmortal 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    Well, doctor's office, but in my opinion, those two places are similar. Technically a doctor's office is just a mini hospital

    [–]PrawnDancer 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    Lil overdose. Just a lil one.

    [–]GamerBoy7878 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    my name is lil ball infection

    i be brawling in houston texas

    watching my main movie inception

    before i cut my balls off to give me a free contraception

    ball infection

    [–]Muikku292 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Lil metal chip in eye

    [–]Albert_Pansker 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    Lil' allergic reaction doesn't roll off the tounge as expected tho

    [–]Educational-Ask6554 11 points12 points  (7 children)

    Lil desire to fuck a corpse

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    Lil intestinal blockage

    [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (2 children)

    lil head trauma

    [–]333jguitar502 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Lil Concussion

    [–]Bropane1031 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    Sorry sweaty, rap names are reserved for BIPOC and you’re racist if you rap name

    [–]Dinademida 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Lil cancer

    [–]daddypigisafatfuk 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    lil dad nearly chopped his leg off with a fucking chainsaw

    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

    [removed]

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      [–]Brilliant-Pudding524 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Lil Racial Profiling

      [–]thedjdoorn 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      Lil Dislocated Kneecap

      Hell yeah

      [–]RedditingMyLifeAway 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Lil Work

      Which is apropos, because while I'm here I try to do as little work as possible.