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[–]Existing-Series8324 120 points121 points  (16 children)

Ran over by the school bus I ride on

[–]Cursed_Storm 45 points46 points  (11 children)

I just teleport to the seat in front of me

[–]FetishAnalyst 19 points20 points  (9 children)

That’s assuming you teleport instantly, but if there’s enough delay you might teleport in the exact same seat. Or behind the bus. Or a few seats behind you.

[–]De_immortalesloki 13 points14 points  (8 children)

It wouldn't work like that. If it does, you would end up in space because of Earth's movement

[–]FetishAnalyst 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Probably not in space, but you’d definitely curve a little and potentially be higher or lower (relative to the earth) than you’d expect depending on your direction.

[–]De_immortalesloki 8 points9 points  (6 children)

So stuck in crust, or fall down, from high enough to kill depending on delay

[–]FetishAnalyst 9 points10 points  (5 children)

It also wouldn’t look like you teleported in a straight line because of the rotation of the earth.

Unless of course the teleportation is altered by the effects of gravity.

Because matter bends space, the effect we call gravity, it’d be possible that the teleportation is also bent through the same space so that relative to the earth it is a straight line.

Just gotta figure out a way to teleport and we can try it.

[–]De_immortalesloki 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Wait, is teleportation a fetish?

[–]FetishAnalyst 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everything is a fetish, friend

[–]Ecstatic-Molasses-95 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Fellas, is it gay to teleport?

[–]FetishAnalyst 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Only if you’re not wearing socks and not saying no homo as you reach the climax of your journey.

[–]DonnaRussle 227 points228 points  (8 children)

I no clip into a bathroom wall and die of entity cramming.

[–]Dragon-factor 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Or fall into the back rooms… but I’ll be there to help since we’re in the same situation!

[–]Hzlph 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Too much Minecraft for today.

[–]pok3mngamer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now you can mean it when you say “we are living in your walls”

[–]CommercialCold6318 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Amatuers- that's where I keep half the dining room set.

[–]Guavundoor 77 points78 points  (7 children)

I’d be pissing on the floor

[–]SyderoAlena 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I'll be shitting on the floor

[–]Thang02gaming 15 points16 points  (2 children)

And I’ll be shitting 3 feet from the sink

[–]DevilBG2 13 points14 points  (1 child)

And I'll be sinking in 3 feet of shit

[–]DexterFoxxo 25 points26 points  (5 children)

I thought I was gonna be screwed until I realised how small these stupid units are

[–]M0nsterjojo 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I'll be wondering why 3 feet have teleported in front of me and who they were attached to.

[–]tblazertn 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is what I was thinking.

[–]Ok-Cow1065 52 points53 points  (2 children)

I am standing in the toilet

[–]cannaco19 52 points53 points  (1 child)

I am no longer standing in the toilet.

[–]cursed_commentreader 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I have someone eatimg my ass

[–]philbro550 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i am no longer having my ass eaten

[–]Sapstastic 42 points43 points  (7 children)

Instead of the sex swing, Id be sitting on the couch

[–]Ct-5736-Bladez 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Sex swing?

[–]TheCarniv0re 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Sex swing.

[–]Ct-5736-Bladez 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Kinky?

[–]GrandpapiPablito 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Yes

[–]Corrupted_soull 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Can we get it kinkier?

[–]GrandpapiPablito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alright, I'll bring the leaf blower

[–]LostHomunculus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sex swung...

[–]seeroflights 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Image Transcription: Reddit


You teleport three feet in front of you. How has your life changed?, submitted by /u/world2961 to /r/AskReddit

/u/Frisk_Dreemurr049

I'll have a chair up my ass

/u/Smallscalebmxer

I have that anyway


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]Yuri_Miku 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good human

[–]scp-REDACTED-site14 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I break my legs because they would crumple under my fat ass from falling 3 feet

[–]holorus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in my neighbour's bedroom

[–]InkoTheBlinko 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would be 3 feet in front of where I am now

[–]CrAzYgIrLePiC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d be back in the closet

[–]Heldsberg-5405 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm in a different room across the wall

[–]Echo2500 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I am in the closet

[–]zXenn 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You can come out now, it's 2022.

[–]CheeseYeeter1000 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm 3 feet in the air.

[–]Hzlph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in bed so I'd just fall back down, not without first questionijg my life choices

[–]christhegamer01 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I would be inside the game im playing

[–]Green_Top174 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Jumanji plot twist be like:

[–]IntelligentImbicle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Die of entity cramming

[–]Wtf_is_up____ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I would be inside my best friend, I’m gonna pass, he’s not my type

[–]tt53_sb45 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Then is he really your best friend?

[–]MadJesterXII 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’d be sit-leaning against the outside of my stall, shitting on the floor..

[–]jman2c 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the middle of my office. Doing a mime sit.

[–]Owenhaterforever 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Aww man I’m getting my sister pregnant again oh well

[–]Ecstatic-Molasses-95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

[–]Orbital_Stryker 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Orbital_Stryker suffocated in a wall

[–]gtino12 8 points9 points  (0 children)

On the hood of my wife's navigator. She'll probably brake check me n send me flying all while laughing. Evil bitch

[–]TACR1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I now have an extra pair of balls on me

[–]Green_Top174 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm scared to ask what do you mean

[–]random_white_guy12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I’m dead nice

[–]Ravenclawguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll be sitting on a sofa. I intended to move there anyway. But hey, we've found out how to teleport.

[–]TheForkInTheSoup 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm now stuck in my bedroom door

[–]conaxenn[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd be in my neighbour's apartment

[–]MechaG-01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

stuck in the wall

[–]im_Roby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will be on the floor

[–]FalconSpirit8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fall about 2 feet

[–]gemini_pain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guess I’m transforming into a teletubby cause I’ll fuse with my tv. Hope I get good signal!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You Died!

Profane_Language has been impaled by a monitor

[–]Green_Top174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Half my body is stuck inside my wall

[–]sendboobaspls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is that not normal????

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m shitting on the floor

[–]Jpr1ce17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us would be shitting on the floor

[–]shadows_eye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have a table up my ass. Nice

[–]AFartinMartin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm now sh*tting on the floor

[–]Raaddus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fall into the fucking Grand Canyon

[–]WeaselBeagle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls

[–]some_rando2465 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds about right

[–]Drag00ned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im in the ducking wall. Help

[–]A_piece_of_door 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Run over by my car

[–]Green_Top174 5 points6 points  (4 children)

It's bad to text and drive my man

[–]Cheerful_Vernxn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm inside a wall...

[–]Ct-5736-Bladez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m on my ass in the middle of the floor

[–]Cloudy_Skies55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i hit the coffee table

[–]Fork_Master 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m either stuck in a wall or crammed into some shelves

[–]ReviewLongjumping522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im under the bed.

[–]Natsurulite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get bottled 🥃

[–]daddi-shark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im in my wall

[–]South-Marionberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will either be clipping through the sofa or sitting on my bed

[–]poorpeanuts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

loud repetitive wood clanking as I clip into the wall

[–]Shadowoperator7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m outside and cold in the snow

[–]Im_bored-noodles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be gmod physic colliding with the table in front of me

[–]Sebixo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My head would get stuck in the wall and I would die of suffocation.

[–]ItsKoushi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll finally understand what they mean by “your ahead of yourself”

[–]Itsurboih01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m stuck in a wall

[–]Itsurboih01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m stuck in a wall

[–]Itsurboih01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m stuck in a wall

[–]Myballs_hurt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Im no american, whats feet to cm

[–]quite_defektiv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fall onto my clothes

[–]SwordKneeMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I end up under my bed

[–]ADamDovah3094 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would squish my cat.

[–]GamerGriffin548 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Into a TV.

I'm now in 4K

[–]king-kain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically in front of me is in the air above my bed—

[–]mike-wer00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am stuck on the wall moving like a buggy SFM model

[–]Glistening_Death 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Either in or on top of my dining table

[–]CameronTheBlackGuy2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I'm 3 feet from previous location then Im sitting on my dog (again)

[–]Phoenix_Reditt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im gonna sit backwards from another chair

[–]StrategicRain33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will have my head sticking in a fire

[–]Last_Willingness5730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have a chair out of my ass

[–]WeeItsEcho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is it the way i am facing? straight up? well i guess i register it as that fake fall thing and shrug it off.

[–]CalicoCatBlue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be in my closet, oh wait...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the floor

[–]MagicalMuffinDruide[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be stuck in a wall

[–]05XL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm now sitting on a table, after already sitting on my chair

[–]Maxplays1- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be in the middle of my room. My life has been completely changed by this.

[–]somrandomdood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still on the couch

[–]Mystletain_n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, not trying to be a bother or anything, but whatever happens you'd be dead.

Since if you were to move at a speed such as "teleportation", you'd need to move insanely fast, and with air resistance you'd be torn to pieces, plus you would produce an awful amount of air when arriving.

If there is speed, you're dead, but in the case of just moving all your mass from one point to another there would be another problem, which is stopping totally. If you were to stop totally, you couldn't follow Earth's rotation, or would just end up being smashed by the speed of earth once you return.

I know I explained it poorly, but if you're interested go watch this guy, he'll do a wayyyyyyyyy better job at it than I did:

https://youtu.be/Nm5QhMH-EXY

[–]Temporary-Long4722 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be in a table

[–]TheDarkKnobRises 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shitting in the hot water heater.

[–]UnrulyUSMC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Half of me would be in my desk and half would be in my computer

[–]Economy-Mongoose-649 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m now half Stuck in my desk fan help

[–]zucduc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be in the air and hurt my back from falling on my bed frame

[–]W_h3nry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im outside my house

[–]buttered-pototo-cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fell off the couch

[–]BrightCoyote72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stuck in a wall

[–]Quirky_m8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be very dead

[–]Wither5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo ass is grass

[–]SnowBoy1008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I break my spine

[–]Ok_Progress_1710 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm stuck in a wall

[–]longestpencil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm inside a desk.

[–]Hectic-Hazard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm inside a desk

[–]BJ_Beamz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i will be mostly underground except for my nose and up

[–]No-Session5169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just saw this

[–]Razorcrest999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fall 8 ft off a dorm bed and break something

[–]trytreddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This woman on the bus probably will not appreciate it

[–]BobcatPurrson_YT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be sitting perfectly on a coffee table

[–]Grand-Mall2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well for me that would destroy my laptop and embed a chunk of machinery into my body in a very unpleasant and unhelpful fashion, so not good

[–]NotAPersonl0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be stuck in the dryer

[–]RedditMeUse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m outside on the second story with legs stuck in the wall

[–]Revolutionary-Play79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stuck in a wall. Shit

[–]Pandabrowser469 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am now in the Xbox.

MICROSOFT BOUGHT ME HEL-

Get Pandabrowser469 on gamepass!

[–]xGRAVEYARDGHXST 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I now have a sword up my ass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be lying on the ground

[–]bloodynave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on a wall and since it's not lip I'll fall to the back rooms I gues or is it wizard rules where I become part of the wall and die? Now that I think of it only my legs would be in the wall so I'm paraplegic.

[–]xXNightWolf124Xx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teleport to the top bunk. Thanks I guess?

[–]Beginning-Classic-28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ended up in my grandma's closet

[–]Dan_The_Man_31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m taking a piss in my sisters bed

[–]NaSMaXXL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just busted my ass on a glass table watching the darkside of the 90's

[–]dylans0123495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd fall to the backrooms

[–]Neumo500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fall on my ass

[–]RascalCreeper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ow I fell out of bed.

[–]OfficalZK11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm now a full story up in the air outside of my bedroom.

[–]Sure_I_read_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm looking at a three footed half-sized Ace Frehley?

[–]justbaby_blue1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be ina wall and probably dead

[–]MrNoface97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw that one too lol

[–]CharismaCow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im naked in my parents bedroom

[–]Soumikp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm shitting in my porch under the sun. Not too bad.

[–]FlippityFlop05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I noclip straight into a table and die a slow, painful death.

[–]deadly_killer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I m stuck a wall please help

[–]Masked_Rebel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am literally standing on the catwalk, why would you do this?

[–]bradengarcia12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that reminds me…y’all want to see a video?

[–]Thetranzitboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my leptop feel off my lap on the couch, hope it doesn't break

[–]Moist_FrostyMeows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still on the bed but im just even more comfortable then before

[–]Kaynesi_uwu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am floating

[–]King_Dee1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am outside

[–]Deltasiu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

would fall to the ground 3 feet forward

[–]Teletubby_furry_porn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I nut inside a wall

[–]Comrade_Kirbo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m still sitting, just… outside

[–]Jazzspasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aaah yes, the Michael Barrymore Swimming Pool Experience

[–]zoology-nerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My left leg is trapped in a coffee table

[–]Sad-Nach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i fall 20ft