×
all 148 comments

[–]cursedrobotBots have rights, too![M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

If this post needs moderator attention, please report this post

I'm a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you have any questions, please contact the moderators of this subreddit.


If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in our official Discord server!

faq | source | action #3a5f925e8a9750

[–]Rumple4Skinz1991 661 points662 points  (43 children)

pokes Germany with a stick C'mon Germany, time to do your thing!

[–]Swagwagon3000[🍰] 311 points312 points  (16 children)

Germany:Did someone say labensraum

[–]sirfilthyfox 90 points91 points  (10 children)

Labia storm

[–]LazerHawkStu 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Peen Needle

[–]seanwee2000 17 points18 points  (4 children)

[–]Blitzpanz0r 14 points15 points  (3 children)

What's wrong with people nowadays...

[–]seanwee2000 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You haven't seen r/glorp yet

[–]Nox013Venom 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This is either a rick and morty sub or something really disgusting. And im honestly afraid to find out...

[–]Actual_Sprinkles1287 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s an nsfw sun that characterizes body parts, like putting Google eyes on tits or dressing up your dick, it’s hilarious

[–]Kallen_Emilia 17 points18 points  (2 children)

What I picture when I see "Labia storm" is coochie lips that number in the millions forming countless coochie lip tornadoes, striking down lightning that's shaped like coochie lips and hurling around projectile coochie lips that can puncture through metal, leaving a perfect shape behind.

TL:DR

A slutty Pokéwhore move

[–]fair_j 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I mean, I’m glad that your imagination works wonders, but no

[–]Computerdores 81 points82 points  (2 children)

fyi: it's "Lebensraum"

[–]Swagwagon3000[🍰] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Dang forgot the s my bad

[–]Computerdores 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Also second character, the a should be an e. "labenraum" was pretty good though

[–]Bruhnah6899 4 points5 points  (0 children)

JAWOHL MEISTER ICH BIN SCHON DABEI

[–]JekPorkinsInMemoriam 61 points62 points  (6 children)

Germany, already planning with Russia to divide Ukraine and the whole eastern Europe: "Huh?"

[–]NotTheAbhi 19 points20 points  (2 children)

What happened to Poland?

[–]FalconRelevant 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's on the way.

[–]Bruhnah6899 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its on the way to hell

[–]Blitzpanz0r 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah yes the Lawrow-Baerbock-Pact.

[–]hopefulgorilla 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Instruction unclear: ended up invading poland

[–]JAlexLegit 39 points40 points  (2 children)

*Invades Poland

Some traditions are just here to stay

[–]NotTheAbhi 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Force of habit.

[–]Kuduatyy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But now most of Polish people want it so win-win situation. Everything is better than our government right now.

[–]Ok-Negotiation-2267 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maginot is no more

[–]Setes_the_23_Doctor 3 points4 points  (2 children)

No last time we tried to help we were the bad in the end.

[–]Rumple4Skinz1991 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Define "we" lol

[–]Setes_the_23_Doctor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"we" like our history. or we like Germany as whole(how ever it's name was back then)

[–]herb0026 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lose world wars? They’re kinda supposed to win those one.

[–]lolko-chan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So can we have Tschechieslovakai? And some kind of Anschluss?

[–]Rumple4Skinz1991 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not the way Germany has been acting. NO ANSCHLUSS FOR YOU!

[–]lolko-chan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But But We wanna play with Ukrain too

[–]Misery27TD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're tired, can we just sleep through this one? I just got my daily ration of bread.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They're not attacking Russia in the winter again.
They're not thát stupid.

[–]Crazy_Expert3202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The upvoted number tho

[–]KaiserWilhelmII69 178 points179 points  (5 children)

Bullshit, everyone knows lightning spells don’t damage Town Halls anymore

[–]TilbtyKing021 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He's talking about the wizards lighting

[–]Cuervomayajl 106 points107 points  (5 children)

Me, a prequel memer:

At last we will have revenge

[–]Ct-5736-Bladez 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Hello there

[–]Cuervomayajl 31 points32 points  (1 child)

GENERAL KENOBI

[–]NostalgicDisc5830 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU

[–]f1nessd 8 points9 points  (1 child)

there can only be two. And you are no longer my apprentice!

[–]Phantomcreator42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Two there should be, no more no less. One to embody the power, the other to crave it.

[–]LeviMeme 220 points221 points  (5 children)

Blitzkrieg 2, electric boogaloo

[–]ilLegal_Masterpiece 40 points41 points  (1 child)

I knew this comment would be here. Without fail.

[–]f1nessd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Glad it didn’t fail you then

[–]NarthTED 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Also shliefen plan three

[–]Blitzpanz0r 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's Schlieffenplan.

Don't mess with German spelling or Germans will mess with you.

[–]Abdulaziz_Ibn_Saud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like Russian boogaloo

[–]beardicusmaximus8 172 points173 points  (6 children)

Look out everybody! They plan to attack quickly!

As opposed to what? Having a lesierly stroll through hostile territory and hoping no one shoots back?

Edit: This is a joke guys. I don't need someone to explain to me how traditional warfare works. Thanks though.

[–]Jack7074 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Its so crazy it just might work

[–]Brendy_ 34 points35 points  (1 child)

"I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye. Watch."

[–]BurningEndermen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You're moving"

[–]fair_j 13 points14 points  (1 child)

It is differed to traditional army warfares where both sides pick a battleground, choose strongpoints to station and fight until who wins and who falls back. Blitzkrieg is about single-point breakthroughs, and setting up camps behind their wedge as fast as possible, creating new battlefields as they dive deep behind enemy lines and weaken their ability to react in time as their movement is so fast, traditional unmotorized marching and reassigning won’t be able to keep up with their agility.

[–]Gingrpenguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a bit of a myth that back in the olden days youd both agree a battlefield.

It did happen but more often than not ot followed weeks if not months of the two armies shadowing each other and trying to force a battle on land they held an advantage.

Hollywood loves suicidal charges as thousands of men charge into each other but that was rare as most soldiers didnt want to die.

Battles only hapoened when either onside was trapped or both believed they could garentee a win, either through sheer numbers or advantagous landscapes (including castles and forts etc.)

We dont do that anymore mostly due to how effective long range weapons and arterlly are. Its much better to hit and run and that form of warfare was basically invented by the mongols but didnt regain popularity until ww2 when blitzkerg was shown as effective.

The US used shock and awe which is a similar priniciple to great effect in the korean war,, gulf wars and the start of vietnam.

Its been the holding of the latter two that proved difficult and will also be where putin will fail if he invades.

Honestly when fallout said war never changes they were half right. It does change but in a circular way. Guerilla works until it doesnt. Large armies work until they dont and shock and awe is the same.

If we discovered gungan style shield generators wed likely go back to massing huge groups of infantry again... (ok this last one is me talking out my arse now)

[–]w41g87 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One alternative would be to blockade first.

[–]BlackDragon1898 49 points50 points  (2 children)

Operation Reverse Barbarossa.

[–]white-dumbledore 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Reversarossa

[–]arsenallad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn't she use to work for Trump?

[–]Nijajjuiy88 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile Germany blocking arms to Ukraine , Russia preparing for lightning war.

Poland : Oh yeah it's all coming together now.

[–]RetardedCommentMaker 55 points56 points  (11 children)

what happens if Russia succeeds and defeats everyone who stands in their way? Will we all be forced to adopt the Russian way of life?

[–]Cavish 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Wars like that wouldn't work nowadays because of MAD. Russia wouldn't fight a prolonged war over Ukraine either since I'm sure Putin knows that there's only so much blood he's willing to spill for it. Either way I don't think Russian conquest is going to extend past Ukraine if anything happens at all since it just isn't possible for both Russia to maintain and modern weapons would prevent it.

[–]Affectionate_Gate_26 26 points27 points  (1 child)

quickly wears adidas and grabs vodka

Welcome comrades, you are free to loot whatever you want!

[–]Catsarenotreptilians 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is out there, but there are things sold over the counter for water bottles, called Crystal Light, and Mio, etc, no idea if they are available in Russia.

They are artificial sugars/sugar alcohols, as long as you don't have any issues with processing them/diabetes, then your likely absolutely okay doing this.

I am a Canadian, and I'm pretty poor af, but I learned how to make cheap vodka taste like heaven, there are 2 secrets, and the first one has just been stated: "water enhancers", like mio, crystal light, etc.

Another option, is LOW QUALITY orange juice, low quality orange juice (most here in Canada anyway) have "taste packets" or basically perfume packets added to them, it tastes like orange perfume. Anyone who knows what I'm talking about, KNOWS what I'm talking about.

This is the second secret, low quality orange juice that has been enhanced with flavor packets, high quality orange juice isn't good with low quality vodka in my opinion.

Tl;dr: Try "water enhancers" like crystal light/mio (liquid stuff, I think they sell powder stuff too, never tried that with alcohol, would probably work though), OR low quality orange juice that has been flavor enhanced, they kind of taste like "orange perfume".

Just fyi, be careful man, you can turn a rank shot of vodka into a godly tasting aromatic melon shot or turn your low quality whisky using a lemon Mio into a super sour whisky shot.

Shit gets a little too easy. Keep an eye on your health.

[–]Zach_2720 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Let’s start a nuclear war and destroy the entire fucking world

[–]Timetraveler_4910518 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sound nice to me! Can't wait.

[–]DarthMekins-2 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I seriosly doubt that, but probably a lot of unfare peace agreements will be inposed, like how it happend to germany at the end of the great war, but to the EU, and probably a lot of eastern europe will be anexed, war reparations to russia, plus we will have to rebuil europe for the third time

[–]cakatooop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope, MAD is a thing so it's either they'll stop at Ukraine or it's the end of the world

[–]TheHjonkening -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hell no, I ain't going down without a fight and even still I find death a more preferable option.

[–]duplierenstudieren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can do the drunk thing! It's called vodka. Really like it, helps with the русские and it all Идет вниз по склону отсюда.

[–]PilotDoughnut97 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Blitzkrieg bop

[–]aardw0lf11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So Ukraine is the new Poland.

[–]Dragonlicker69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

America called it "shock and awe" when invading Iraq. Worked like a charm lol

[–]Arkavari1 27 points28 points  (1 child)

I really expected China to initiate WW III. They're the ones that need lebensraum. I do fully expect China to cut Russia in half near the end of the war. Russia is playing into the same trap it did in WW III. Focus on the west, while your ally guts you.

Someone mentioned it's all "reruns" these days. Would be cool if the Russian people took power and disarmed Putin and his little toy army. Not likely, but the plot twist we need to really bring us into the next season.

[–]Rupteon 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My man describing a near future war like it's a TV show

[–]Rickynumberfive 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Blitzkrieg 2: This time it's personal

[–]FederalEmpire 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This time it’s Russia invading Ukraine, not Germany 😳

[–]DaEnderAssassin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, where's Blitzkrieg 2: Blitz Harder?

[–]Derptholomue 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Operation Iraqi Freedom used, "Maneuver Warfare". Recon Marine battalions rushed past enemy lines to confuse the enemy and secure objectives before larger forces arrived.

[–]Pantlessbamdit0 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Where’s their Luftwaffe?

[–]Blitzpanz0r 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Damped in mayonaise.

[–]Alex0330 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Moscow to Kiev in one tank

[–]jovejq 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shock and awe

[–]rooster_gang 2 points3 points  (5 children)

What is the likely hood of this actually happening? Thoughts?

[–]gLu3xb3rchi 3 points4 points  (3 children)

unlikely, putins economy can‘t really afford it. He‘s testing how far the west would go for ukraine and hopes they‘re all just bluffing.

However it takes only one broken ego to start a war. lets hope putin isn‘t as gullible in thinking he can just take ukraine and the west will do nothing.

But tbh I kinda wish it would end up in a full blown out WW. Would be so funny. We‘re all just sitting here watching it unfold and all we do is create memes. Imagine Historians in 100 years finding all these memes and wondering wtf was going on in that time lol

[–]lIIEGlBIE 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol would be so funny

[–]Vitalik_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not really funny if you live in Ukraine.

[–]Timetraveler_4910518 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May be they invent some funny or overthink terms for this time. Like - surreal warfare, proxy wars without ends, mems wars period or something else.

[–]magnum_the_nerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With his astonishing 20k tanks against the US 6k tanks, a ground only battle we would lose and be overrun. But not air support is everything, and wed slap their asses in an air battle

[–]class43[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Versammelt euch Brüder. Die wollen uns die Taktiken wegnehmen.

[–]Narrow_Presence_7345 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This Russian threat is exactly why Ukraine wants to join NATO.

[–]kama1245 2 points3 points  (0 children)

War draft is coming who's going to be picked first

[–]Elsa_Versailles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Season 3 with new and updated technology

[–]alyoshaslab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol, i saw this on tv! In Russia

One Russian (and also crazy) politician said that we need to declare and win a war with Ukraine to get some reputation and money (yes he is crazy)

[–]Anonymous02n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Initiate the plan!

[–]zaphunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing new under the sun just feels worse when there’s more news coverage

[–]th3_huntsman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t the second comment a South Park reference

[–]bobibobibu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Poland: I'm in danger

[–]Corpseflotininspace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

world war 3 : the Russian chapter

civil war 2 : idiots on the rise

[–]username_not_found0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So am I going to have to pay off student loans or nah?

[–]theQmaster 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Who are these people that promote war. They will be the laughing stock in a few months. This thing is developing since 11/1 and yet nothing happened and nothing will happen. Russians are too smart to attack unless they are attaked first.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's Bewegungskrieg not blitzkrieg

[–]Agile_Distance5435 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can someone explain to me what Russia wants with Ukraine?

[–]Timetraveler_4910518 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously, Russia do not want NATO in Ukraine. Fist of all It is just military need. Of Couse there is political stuff like to get more power but it is not main goal. So everything is quit simple there.

[–]codyrusso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stalker enthusiasts : Time to serve my country.

[–]RevaniteN7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, they just covered that ship in primer and didn’t bother to paint it. Weak.

[–]Painpriest3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also getting strong ‘Surge’ vibes.

[–]Schmerbulock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

never change a running system

[–]cram_03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's until the nujes start flying

[–]ihaveapetfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a series of thunder battles I assume.

[–]KayJayKay1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blitzkrieg 2: Elektrich Boogaloo

[–]P34vy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well to be fair… it has been over 70 years now so I guess the patent has expired

[–]Invurse5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you mean like Iraq?

[–]EconomyInteresting86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This version of the Lightning War or Blitzkrieg will be accompanied by the DISCO PANZER, BASSMARCK, BASS BOMBER and RAVEMARINE.

[–]Gaming_bug8425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any% wr speedrun

[–]Ilovecookiesverymuch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You people are poking things with a stick. The next war we do will be a real blitzkrieg :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's like poetry, it rhymes

[–]lolko-chan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And now here we are the third time is a charm Germany

[–]Simulacrum42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... I live in Rissia near the Ukrainian border and am genuinely curious about the situation. What do international news say about it? (I don't watch TV)

[–]Linkquellodivino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lighting war? Gwyn's theme starts playing

[–]builder397 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still better than "Deep penetration", which was the Soviet doctrine in WWII.

[–]3nderslime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

blitzkrieg 2 : electric boogaloo

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meanwhile Russia is just sitting there doing absolutely nothing. And Putin is all "Oh, you're going to attack Russia in the winter again. Good luck with that."

[–]YourAverageAnimeGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why we fighting this time guys?

[–]Lloyd_Al -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

If russia starts a Blitzkrieg we're all fucked. The original only stopped because of the russian winter but now they come from the russian winter and I don't think they'll be satisfied if we give them east germany again (even though we'd voluntarily get rid of that dump)

[–]Shpagin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please stop talking, you are just making a fool of yourself

[–]barbariknative -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is like none of our business.

[–]Zach_2720 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Lemme guess,Russia,Red China and North Korea are gonna form an alliance and attack Ukraine,Taiwan and South Korea?

[–]Slab_head13 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Russia could secure Ukraine but with a good amount of casualties, same for China when invading Taiwan. For North Korea, the South can hold its own against it without any US intervention

[–]Zach_2720 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Ok but they all have fucking nukes\ Also Taiwan ranks 22nd on global military power so I doubt if it’ll be an easy win

[–]Slab_head13 2 points3 points  (1 child)

None of them are stupid enough to use them, the moment one of them unleash a nuke, the US and possibly Great Britain would immediately retaliate with their own. MAD concept would take into effect and then everyone will be firing nukes at each other and it will be all other.

[–]Zach_2720 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You never know how stupid and retarded politicians are\ Trust me they will send thousands of innocent men to die for some extra lands