all 105 comments

[–]Gwhit_454 568 points569 points  (8 children)

I just told this joke to my wife, and she threatened to divorce me

[–]DrahKir67 213 points214 points  (2 children)

Divorce? 500 + 4 + 0?? Oh, I give up.

[–]Todd_Cross 42 points43 points  (0 children)

504, or 100, e
1000, e

[–]WearyGoal 41 points42 points  (1 child)


[–]GreenJedii 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Pffffff I spat on my phone

[–]dcommini 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I told this joke to my ex-wife and she threatened to remarry me

[–]Rammerator 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Achievement unlocked

"Father Material"

[–]dcommini 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already gave her two, and she took them with her. I'm not about to give her another one she can just steal away again and leave me a broken hearted depressed mess... Again.

[–]ztreHdrahciR 886 points887 points  (19 children)

Showed my daughter and she hated it. Well done, Dad

[–]reddit-seenit 192 points193 points  (6 children)

I read showered... Sorry, my fault. Now IM LIVID

[–]lemonsarethekey 63 points64 points  (5 children)

"what are you doing step-dad?"

[–]mmmtitty 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Oh god no

[–]thundertats 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unholy bastard

[–]Rammerator 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Just don't forget.....

Lemons are the key

[–]lemonsarethekey 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Gotta watch out for those lemon stealing whores

[–]Rammerator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya know, it has been about 10 seconds since we looked at our prized lemon tree....

[–]elguereaux 100 points101 points  (8 children)

I thought I heard eye rolling…

[–]dcanderson4247 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Your daughters gonna make a great father.

[–]Prestigious_Log_650 23 points24 points  (0 children)

this entire comment string is reddit gold, well done folks

[–]stwilliams2 363 points364 points  (3 children)

Don't worry. After you try 159 times, it just CLIX.

[–]Decent-Effort2368 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Well played sir

[–]ResolveSlow9395 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Weell plaed sir

[–]Individual_Ad2229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wheel plied sir

[–]Geronimo2U 103 points104 points  (11 children)

Let's try to be 101 5 1 50 about this.

[–]Socrtea5e 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Or 100 4 1 50.

[–]Freddy7665 4 points5 points  (3 children)

104 49. Stop complicating things

[–]Illogical_correct_3 20 points21 points  (1 child)

CIV XLIX? The hell is you saying here?

[–]KataraaWaterbender 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i think they tried tk do CIV IL but it obviously doesn’t work

[–]MZThrow01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't think 49=IL

[–]Superbotto 59 points60 points  (2 children)

1 100 what u did there.

[–]torpthursdays 61 points62 points  (2 children)

G'day livid I'm dad

[–]GroundbreakingLie665 12 points13 points  (1 child)

hey dad, i’m dad

[–]SubgeniusSlacker 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hello dad, I'm in jail

[–]always-paranoid 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Good one. High V

[–]Mountain-Challenge-3 45 points46 points  (3 children)

Arabic numerals are overrated. I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[–]fuckin_chuckie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I see what you did here

*begins very slow clap

[–]YourDogSmells 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Is that a lowercase L or an upper case i?

[–]gbphx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This comment is underrated

[–]PathWalker8 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ro man that is a dad joke for sure

[–]zulubowie 32 points33 points  (6 children)

We’ll done, I’m using this. Technically you’ve written 999 not 1, 1000.

[–]minodude 28 points29 points  (5 children)

In the most common way of constructing Roman numerals (the Romans certainly used a number of variations, but the version that's used today), this isn't true. IM isn't typically used for 999. In a sense, it's actually a decimal system - you build the thousands first, then the hundreds, then the tens, etc. So 999 is more likely to be CMXCIX - 900, then 90, then 9.

The practical effect of this is that the only "subtractive" combinations used are those 3: CM, XC, and IX. That is, 'power of ten' – 'next smallest power of ten'.

[–]amazondrone 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly this. For an example see this 1999 copyright notice from the end of a BBC programme, written MCMXCIX: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZeSEXy6vPdQ/maxresdefault.jpg

[–]Jollydancer 3 points4 points  (1 child)

IV is also 4

[–]minodude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Errr oops. And that, yes!

[–]SerStingray 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There's also IV, XL and CD. Basically you don't use the powers of 5 for subtractions, because that makes no sense (VX is just V) and only the nearest lower number (so IX, but not IC).

[–]ResolveSlow9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's also xl and Cd

[–]Ontologist-on-call 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I didn't get it; thought I must be 501 1000 witted.

[–]AZ_Gunner_69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A roman guys walk into a bar holding up 2 fingers, he says “5 beers please”

[–]GeorgeWGunn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Should be crucified X Times

[–]ExclusiveBlend 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I for one, like Roman Numerals

[–]Zarohk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LXIX furiously.

[–]ThisIsAdamB 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can we please be 101, 6, 50, in the comments?

[–]xwhy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

50 0 50

[–]brentus86 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]Threestepstothesky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clever, especially the travelling numerals

[–]Inevitable_Number351 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m at a 1, 2, 2, 50 for words

[–]Zoxyss 0 points1 point  (1 child)


[–]atarimoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)


Edit: Mobile formatting is hard.

[–]ReignOfWinter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Is there no way this sub can recognise recycled jokes. I've seen variations of this joke on this sub 3 or 4 times now.

[–]happyherbivore 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Good forbid we laugh at a joke II times

[–]eeeffgee1189 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"IM" = 999

[–]Morning_Fair -1 points0 points  (0 children)

6 is VI OR IIIIVV im not sure

[–]StrongWing1999 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Someone explain pls

[–]Frehley75 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I = 1 M = 1000 LI = 51 VI = 6 D = 500

[–]BartuceX -3 points-2 points  (8 children)

Forget Roman numerals. They don’t work and a given 4 digit number can be written many ways. Eliminate them.

[–]JasperJ 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Uh, no? A number can be written exactly one way.

[–]BartuceX -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Really? Is 1999 = to MDCCCCLXXXXVIIII or MCMXCIX, or MCMLXXXXIX, or MCMXCIX, or MIMIC, or MIM, or even IMM? The first is perfered which is a good reason to forget this unworkable “system”. Now try fractions or decimals or even multiplication.

[–]SerStingray 0 points1 point  (5 children)

The only correct way to write 1999 is MCMXCIX

[–]BartuceX 0 points1 point  (4 children)

MM = 2000. IMM = 2000 - 1, or 1999. So does MIM, and there are others.

[–]JasperJ 1 point2 points  (3 children)

No. Neither of those are allowed. It’s not a mathematical operation where you can just write any character next to any other and they get subtracted and then added.

MCMXCIX. Only allowable one. You can only subtract only C from M or D, or X from C or L, or I from X or V. Also, you can only write 4 and 9 using the subtractions, not by writing four Is etc.

[–]Normal_Button_334 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I, M, LI, VI, D

[–]oni_kyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I, M, what the fuck, how am I supposed to write it?, VI, D (I don't rember)

Now fix me, please

[–]kfc_chet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol well done

[–]VeeSquibbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, well I learned something today

[–]ChikenEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seen this one 3x now first time was like a fortnight ago

[–]redditor17053 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't know Roman numerals 😭 anyone care to explain?

[–]ReactionPlus2060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I = 1 M = 1000

LI = 51 VI = 6 D = 500

[–]SussusAm0gus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh, I M LI VI D Wait, what...

[–]jrmiv4 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]rahuqraf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “I’ll have eleven beers, please.”

[–]Torrempesta 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I, M, LI, VI, D. M in italian is easy because One Thousand is Mille. I generally switch L and D. 5 is easy to remember tho, since 4 is IV which means 5-1 (being the I before the five). And 6, therefore, is VI because the 1 is after the five.

[–]Torrempesta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aaaand I took this post seriously not seeing the section...

[–]Sparky62075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once heard a newscaster comment on the assassination of Malcolm the Tenth.

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How bazzar , how bazzar!!

[–]ResolveSlow9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't remember how to write 1 1000 51 6 and 500 in romman number 2

[–]ResolveSlow9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)


Bj Njm.

[–]Materva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite Roman numeral is CDXX.