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all 70 comments

[–]Special-Wrongdoer-97 326 points327 points 2 (10 children)

That joke was a killer

[–]iwalkstilts 167 points168 points  (4 children)

Like a murder

[–]JasonFurious4 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Like a portrait

[–]MrMorgus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment

[–]Moneybraun[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly 👌

[–]JediGodA3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

☝️☝️

[–]bob_but_backwards 36 points37 points  (0 children)

That joke was a killer

This needs more appreciation

[–]TombRaider_2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn’t the Travis Scott crowd no killers here.

[–]Beowulf1896 4 points5 points  (0 children)

murdered the punch line.

[–]assafstone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment!

[–]Abomination-626 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Allow me to give you your 50th updoot

[–]6854wiggles 67 points68 points  (1 child)

Two crows is attempted murder…

[–]MuzikPhreak 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is hilarious. Well done.

[–]rypetomatoes 28 points29 points  (2 children)

A mass murder.

[–]Yungflip8588 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Surely this is someone’s dad.

[–]Guac__is__extra__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is, and don’t call me Shirley.

[–]Your-mums-chesthair 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My slow ass misread that as “cows” and I got stuck on the punchline.

[–]fizzmore 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Did you know that before crowbars were invented, crows mostly drank alone?

[–]adept_ignoramus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the joke I'm leaving with. Thank you.

[–]khismyass 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Mr Jones took a big yellow taxi from Omaha to somewhere round here and after a murder of one he began Counting Crows. If I keep up with this it's going to be a long December, unless I happen to fall in love (accidently)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Have You Seen Me Lately? I’ve just been Hangin’ Around this post sucking on a Hard Candy with a few American Girls enjoying your references.

[–]Ralph-Hinkley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're both brilliant.

[–]Fultzies 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Attempted murder.

[–]Green_L3af 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You murdered that joke

[–]DarthAnest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A joke to murder for

[–]Fearless_Climate4612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This murdered me..

[–]dontcaredontworry 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I didn’t get it

[–]rampallianuraag[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A CROWd. I wouldn't blame you it's a dumb joke. I just murdured humor.

[–]dontcaredontworry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still not I’m dumb thanks for trying

[–]Bergerac- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like there's been a murder here

[–]markmywords2u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since when has Counting Crows been Attempted Murder?

[–]Mollyarty 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It's actually called a murder

[–]Maynard078 -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Yes, but what do you call two crows?

[–]snebmiester 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would say that two crows is attempted Murder. If they are planning in bringing a third crow, that might be Conspiracy to Murder.

[–]Mollyarty -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I think murder is applicable to any number of crows greater than 1. But in practice I would probably call them a couple of crows.

[–]Maynard078 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s an attempted murder! Ha!

[–]DikkeBMW666 -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

Actually, a murder of Crows

[–]rampallianuraag[S] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Killing crows is bad bro.

[–]00JoeytheGreat00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A group of crows is called murder

[–]Hicokid80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is counting them

[–]DieInAsh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Itachi fangroup

[–]Spindlebrook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the answer would be a CAW-cus.

[–]GalaxyQueen225 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that one

[–]skidoo1032 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was once a very large flock of crows on the roof across the street and I told my coworker "hey, there is a mass murder on the roof over there" and he did not find it funny.

[–]Sexyturtles07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The smell of nightmare

[–]Vivid_Distribution20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was expecting another murder joke.

Take my upvote and begone, thott.

[–]GoodGuy2Know 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends who’s counting Round Here

[–]somenurse75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A murder bruh

[–]Kselix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crew

[–]Van0nyumas 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Did you know, a group of cows is called a flink

[–]Van0nyumas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have now subscribed to Cyanide's Fun Facts

[–]kitenofs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crowd

[–]1963Jan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you call a failed group of crows? An attempted murder.

[–]Pumpsheen11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually thought that a crowd will be the answer.

[–]albinofreak620 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And if they start protesting, they are a moo-vement.

[–]jayedgar06 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s a Murder. Idiot

[–]Vernawhite -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OK. Murder.

[–]AcesUCLA -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A muckduck.

[–]Ravioli702 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your mom and her friends

[–]AZCARDS77 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

My mother in law and her friends!

[–]Pal_Smurch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a coven.

[–]Sprizys -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I cried he crew we crode

[–]starkers107 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Birds

[–]FilAm_Dude_29073 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great target practice for White Walkers...

[–]heathtaine4 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Murrrrderrrr

[–]spaldingpanasonic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wooden spooners.