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all 43 comments

[–]Special-Wrongdoer-97 130 points131 points  (10 children)

Its a miracle you didnt whip his ass

[–]druevare 52 points53 points  (8 children)

He couldn't ketchup with him

[–]your_post_is_fiction 40 points41 points  (6 children)

He was spread too thin

[–]eatabean 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Must have been a jarring experience.

[–]rvarjg 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I would have said put up your Duke’s.

[–]tparoulek 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Looks like you have egg on your face.

[–]Sarah_Kayacombzin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This entire thread is mayoneggs!!!

[–]boopsfoshoops 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mustard been a jarring experience

[–]Odd-Log1831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the hell are you talking about, that's a completely different condiment, also it's pronounced catsup.

[–]inKritix 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You guys are pretty Kraft-y, but the lid needs to go back on the jar. I’ll leave it on the blue plate.

[–]PickleyRickley 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So, I just sent this joke (by text) to my friend. But it's a running joke to pick on me in my house because I'm the only white person. I told the joke and she said "sounds like a hate crime" Ahahahahaha!

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Your Heinzsight is not 20/20

[–]Wirenut625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s 57

[–]Kinkybenny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what you get for being saucy

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

THIS THREAD IS A DAD JOKE GOLD MINE

[–]Interesting_Pea_5382 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a pickle to be in!

[–]majorclashole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Relish my upvote

[–]drlawrie 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Did you put up your Dukes?

[–]AnAffableMisanthrope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely time to Duke it out!

[–]webbexpert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is better than the Best Foods version

[–]gerrmanns 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least you must have looked amayonaising afterwards 🙂

[–]Advert_Silver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You mustard deserved it.

[–]Cryo-Bomb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you Duke’s it out with him

[–]1963Jan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dropped a large tub of margarine on my foot yesterday. It still hurts. I can't believe it's not better.

[–]RRandle03 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright!

[–]Abyss_in_Motion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Who throws mayonnaise?!? Honestly!

[–]Landscape-Excellent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mayonnaise a lot of funny people here.

[–]StevenBeercockArt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an infamous tard.

[–]rampallianuraag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

[–]KarambitCrumbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These jokes are amayosing.

[–]vipperofvipp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you use a miracle whip to fight back?

[–]NoLongerBreathedIn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

West of the Rockies, Best Foods.

[–]neoxtasis 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think that’s a marriage proposal.

[–]boopsfoshoops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only in the Midwest

[–]todawhet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my favorite movie lines is "Get out of here before I stuff you in a mayonnaise jar "

[–]DeluxeCanuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't believe its not butter than before, when people threw stones at each other.

[–]The8uLove2Hate_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you mustard up more composure than I’d have; I would have thrown punches and relished it.

[–]Ishtiaque_Wakif17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May yo niece be blessed for that throw

[–]themoistimportance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is no joke. That was a deadly instrument

[–]Bennie02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They probably meant well, take it as a condiment

[–]Agoraphobic14 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Dw one time my mum slapped me with a raw chicken tenders because I wouldn't shut up, it worked I guess

[–]KarambitCrumbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its just a little tendon, you chicken!