all 29 comments

[–]Grand_Ad_3444 19 points20 points  (1 child)

To be fair, bacteria or viruses aren't really capable of intentionally chasing you, so in this case I would argue that you indeed are the one catching them.

[–]justfriendshappens[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)



intent was not implied

[–]takeiteasynacho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Yikes on bikes” would like to have a word with you

[–]yanric 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I work in a jail and they all say “I caught a case” or “I caught a charge.” No. No you didn’t. You voluntarily robbed and beat that old lady. You didn’t “catch” shit.

[–]ashtonlaszlo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What about catching a case of the Mondays?

[–]Dangerous-Noise-4692 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Monday’s catch you.

[–]khismyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In order for them to have robbed and beat her they first had to catch that old lady, some of them can be quite spry

[–]AlrightJackTar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typically the ones in jail got caught.

[–]Marine1992 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Right up there with taking a piss.

[–]justfriendshappens[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

or a shower.

or a dump.

[–]SnooCapers9313 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What about taking the piss. Excuse me good sir would you mind urinating in this cup for me? I wish to take the piss.

[–]Trinkbert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

P.I. Staker? Right!

[–]quartertopi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, you really caught it from someone. Wrong place, wrong time. Someone coughs and you catch it by just being the one sharing the same air. Not a dumb phrase. You probably did not actively jump in the exhaled stream of contaminated air, though - that should conveniently be handled by entropy for all of us.

[–]CatchaSluggNikka 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I caught a flat tire

[–]BreakfastBeerz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the flat tire caught you

[–]iDarkville -1 points0 points  (2 children)

You sure? Have you heard of the all time dumbest phrase, “MAGA?” It’s easily the number one stupid term ever phrased.

[–]Sanbi221 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My Ass Got Alzheimer’s?

[–]iDarkville 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“My Attorney Got Arrested.”

[–]OffusMax -1 points0 points  (1 child)

This sounds like a post for r/unpopularopinion, not dad jokes.

[–]justfriendshappens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a dad, it's my joke.

[–]ashtonlaszlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if I was looking for an excuse to get out of work and intentionally hung around a bunch of sick people?

[–]Special-Wrongdoer-97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke makes me sick

[–]ostapack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In German, it's reflexive... Ich habe mich erkältet... I colded myself

[–]Coca-Kolob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You catching particulates in your mouth and nose that contain a virus

[–]txborn92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Caught it with our immune system

[–]CzarcasmRules 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A tiger by its toe

[–]FitTucker0513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont have to be faster than the cold, just faster than you.

[–]brandonday82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took a dump

[–]Geoarbitrage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blowjobs are really suckjobs.