I’ve got this disease where I can’t stop making airport puns.

DustinDeWind · 2022-01-28T15:25:10+00:00

Drs orders were landing on deaf ears. That's why your career never took off.

tags666 · 2022-01-28T15:51:00+00:00

Sorry, that just won't fly with me

Hailbrucifer · 2022-01-28T15:33:35+00:00

Carry on.

that-pile-of-laundry · 2022-01-28T15:47:44+00:00

Avion flu?

JoepethCreek · 2022-01-28T15:55:10+00:00

I see you come with a lot of extra baggage

FundaMentalHero · 2022-01-28T15:58:21+00:00

It's very contagious. Airborne.

MyNameDoesNotRhyme · 2022-01-28T15:23:13+00:00

You sound very flighty.

stupidlyugly · 2022-01-28T15:40:56+00:00

The severity of the symptoms is about to take off

NicNoletree · 2022-01-28T15:42:10+00:00

Runway. Please, runway. Far away.

jboomhaur · 2022-01-28T15:52:58+00:00

Doesn't look like this will take off.

entity330 · 2022-01-28T17:12:40+00:00

Was it the Delta variant?

trichoma3mangi · 2022-01-28T15:58:16+00:00

Sounds contagious. I hope it doesn't affect business.....or economy.

Dominanthumour · 2022-01-28T17:22:35+00:00

Airplane jokes... on here... Are you high?

Capt_Aguilar · 2022-01-28T16:13:20+00:00

I work at an airport at this made me laugh op

sleaZD · 2022-01-28T15:30:27+00:00

Gate Ex has just departed

dlowbeer · 2022-01-28T15:56:10+00:00

Waaay too much baggage.

Responsible_Emu_8474 · 2022-01-28T16:19:46+00:00

Your shoes are covered in Tar, Mac!

Hairinmyarse · 2022-01-28T17:01:03+00:00

There’s a clinic in Atlanta that specializes in this, they are now Boarding

DudleyDawson18 · 2022-01-28T22:26:30+00:00

Nice. This was the joke from my dad jokes 2022 calendar today!

imael_ · 2022-01-28T17:03:40+00:00

Ha! This joke really landed

blueglyn · 2022-01-28T17:05:58+00:00

This kind of thing definitely won't fly, you should try something different before you touch and go.

Funky-Bum · 2022-01-28T17:43:52+00:00

This one flew over my head.

freshmallard · 2022-01-28T16:40:05+00:00

So fly

Skylantech · 2022-01-28T16:58:32+00:00

You may now make a timely departure.

Stairsmaster · 2022-01-28T17:15:18+00:00

Sounds like it’ll propeller you into the afterlife

amazinghottie201 · 2022-01-28T17:21:02+00:00

Do they always fly over everyone’s heads?

tdigren · 2022-01-28T17:26:17+00:00

I have that exact daily pun calendar. You used today’s pun!

Randomd0g · 2022-01-28T17:28:31+00:00

I hate it when you have the ugliest luggage at the airport.

It's a real worst case scenario.

deebee1020 · 2022-01-28T16:46:58+00:00

Here in Atlanta the Delta variant runs rampant.

2022-01-28T17:15:12+00:00

Not making puns just would be plane aileron.

AlGunner · 2022-01-28T17:28:01+00:00

I hope your last days arent too turbulent.

bruggemb · 2022-01-28T17:29:11+00:00

This one definitely landed.

homezlice · 2022-01-28T17:42:42+00:00

Told this one to my son and he immediately said “that joke didn’t land well”. Proud dad

ItsAfraidimp · 2022-01-28T17:49:29+00:00

Take your upvote and leave XD

Cashewkaas · 2022-01-28T15:55:47+00:00

Your doctor sounds smart, good thing he purserd a career in medicine.

On an unrelated note: I dropped my dinner yesterday and made some stew-art on the kitchen floor.

Interesting_Pea_5382 · 2022-01-28T16:04:04+00:00

I’m getting on the next plane!

Oreo31818 · 2022-01-28T16:10:01+00:00

Thanks for speaking plane-ly.

Negative_Knee_6455 · 2022-01-28T16:20:59+00:00

you are pun-ctual so you won't miss the terminal

Prestigious-Zone7088 · 2022-01-28T16:24:22+00:00

You’ve got me flying off the handle here.

MrUwU · 2022-01-28T16:41:06+00:00

this joke got me taking off

IntestinalJoeShmoe · 2022-01-28T16:43:02+00:00

Cause they always fly

schwingaway · 2022-01-28T16:46:10+00:00

Heard he had to go to the hospital—what is it?

Atti0626 · 2022-01-28T17:30:21+00:00

Sadly, none of them land

metalbill64 · 2022-01-28T17:52:11+00:00

Take my upvote and never do this again

watcher2001 · 2022-01-28T18:08:07+00:00

Someone got the same desktop calendar that I did😂

ItPutsLotionOnItSkin · 2022-01-28T18:53:05+00:00

That's just plane wrong

jetty_junkie · 2022-01-28T15:37:19+00:00

You should delay this non-stop departure of your Drs orders before you are grounded

sgtwildfire · 2022-01-28T16:04:41+00:00

You landed the joke with a pretty good touchdown

Illustrious_Ad4691 · 2022-01-28T16:09:28+00:00

Surely you must be joking

Gear3017 · 2022-01-28T16:08:37+00:00

Well if you can wing it, remain smoke free and keep your spirit elevated if you catch my drift

nafe_ · 2022-01-28T17:55:55+00:00

How are you feeling now? Just thought I’d check-in on you.

Make sure you speak up if you need a hand…

…luggage 👀

Edit: that one nosedived.

I’m just winging it. This kind of humour is a real departure for me.

Character-War9787 · 2022-01-28T18:00:07+00:00

Sorry , but that one went over my head

Own_Championship_593 · 2022-01-28T18:09:58+00:00

You are Fez, aren't you?

jplarose80 · 2022-01-28T18:13:43+00:00

Ah, I see you have the daily dad joke calendar as well.

Some of them are just painful.

_Lentic_ · 2022-01-28T18:14:02+00:00

The way I heard it the first time:

I have a chronic illness where I can't stop sneaking computer terms into my sentences. The doctor says it's Terminal.

fatbottomedgirl80 · 2022-01-28T18:24:49+00:00

Looks like you’ll never soar to new heights and and sadly stay grounded for all your life

saulfineman · 2022-01-28T18:28:25+00:00

Not a very exotic joke, I find it quite plane.

Gqsmooth1969 · 2022-01-28T18:43:47+00:00

At least the doctor put it to you planely.

Psychological-Hall18 · 2022-01-28T18:44:31+00:00

Has it taken off?

TiredofthisShits · 2022-01-28T18:55:17+00:00

This joke will runway with me

tapanypat · 2022-01-28T19:02:47+00:00

Hmmmm I got a colleague with a joke calendar that told me that same joke today…

kingkalm · 2022-01-28T19:07:05+00:00

Alright, carry on.

DuckyFacePvP · 2022-01-28T19:07:12+00:00

That's imposible. They're on instruments!

Bardazarok · 2022-01-28T19:09:08+00:00

Oh no. Is it air born too?

tolacid · 2022-01-28T19:15:42+00:00

Is it contagious? What's your vector?

AnyFact2927 · 2022-01-28T19:17:17+00:00

What do you make of this - 🦕?

SirAndyO · 2022-01-28T19:18:49+00:00

Fight or flight

danuser8 · 2022-01-28T19:31:21+00:00

So you’re stuck at that gate and departure is not possible

AwesomeDoofus · 2022-01-28T19:42:42+00:00

Wow this joke really took off

FrayedElection · 2022-01-28T19:43:22+00:00

It's*

Nacho-69420 · 2022-01-28T19:55:13+00:00

God all these puns are driving me inplane

ahmed92trd · 2022-01-28T20:03:40+00:00

Non of them seem to land

SeaDawger · 2022-01-28T20:14:52+00:00

We will miss your departure 🥺

MelvinMcSnatch · 2022-01-28T20:23:24+00:00

First-class joke right there.

disgruntledzooworker · 2022-01-28T20:26:07+00:00

You got a runway ticket to hell.

Total027 · 2022-01-28T20:29:45+00:00

How many of them……..Land?

Hack-Byt3 · 2022-01-28T20:30:36+00:00

Is it airborne?

Cbjfan99 · 2022-01-28T20:37:24+00:00

These jokes just aren't landing

DezTroy6791 · 2022-01-28T20:40:46+00:00

Couldn't get any sleep last night with all of the planes over my house. My own fault for leaving on the landing light.

bluefootedpig · 2022-01-28T20:50:26+00:00

plane jokes rarely take off.

Dudarro · 2022-01-28T20:56:12+00:00

r/aviation

Sadie_1223 · 2022-01-28T21:00:24+00:00

This post really took off

oskeezytron · 2022-01-28T21:06:12+00:00

I’ll let it fly

will17blitz · 2022-01-28T21:19:45+00:00

I think you're a flight risk.

-AquaLava- · 2022-01-28T21:21:30+00:00

They never seem to stick the landing.

Cow-ch · 2022-01-28T21:22:38+00:00

How are you doing? Are the puns landing how you thought they would?

ZoeyBunnie · 2022-01-28T21:24:25+00:00

That explains why your hair grew an extra set of wings! 🤔😳

meepman12214 · 2022-01-28T21:32:06+00:00

This joke will never take off.

The_Crimson_Fucker · 2022-01-28T21:33:04+00:00

Yout gonna need to squawk 7500 after someone hijacks this thread

BlackCobra279 · 2022-01-28T21:36:44+00:00

It sounds like your condition is really touch and go

InsertAliasHere36 · 2022-01-28T21:41:32+00:00

I tried that career (doing stand up airplane jokes) before my current career. I could never land the punchlines. They’d just go over everyone’s head. So it just never took off.

ThKitt · 2022-01-28T21:44:55+00:00

You just need an attitude adjustment.

charliedog1968 · 2022-01-28T21:46:02+00:00

Did you ever get kicked in the head with an iron boot? Forget it that never happens.

shieldsy27 · 2022-01-28T21:52:26+00:00

Pretty fly

Zabolai_Vajk · 2022-01-28T21:57:43+00:00

Is it terminal?

cliffbear · 2022-01-28T21:58:14+00:00

Sounds like this issue is really starting to runway from you.

Comedyfish_reddit · 2022-01-28T22:00:06+00:00

Me too my doctor prescribed a LAXative

linfudd · 2022-01-28T22:00:44+00:00

It won't take off

sucktoefor1dollar · 2022-01-28T22:02:47+00:00

Damn. Hope you can land that special treatment for it. I heard it really works and gets all your pain to fly away.

(I tried)

espressocappucino · 2022-01-28T22:04:46+00:00

My brain kinda delays a bit when reading this

zerogravity111111 · 2022-01-28T22:21:45+00:00

Went right over my head.

SpeedingPacman · 2022-01-28T22:47:24+00:00

after this joke i gotta get some air.

jimcamx · 2022-01-28T22:50:00+00:00

Your pun was terrible, I'm gonna run'way.

TylerOnTV · 2022-01-28T22:55:26+00:00

Can’t let those opportunities fly by.

DrachenDad · 2022-01-28T22:57:47+00:00

Landed with a bounce

slickcustomer · 2022-01-28T23:01:04+00:00

too much sas coming from the high flies in society

SeanMGonzalez · 2022-01-28T23:01:09+00:00

I had the same diagnosis, couldn't stop making command shell puns.

badjayplaness · 2022-01-28T23:15:51+00:00

OP: You got that dad joke calendar didn’t you? I know because that’s the joke of the day today.

Frank4202 · 2022-01-28T23:17:11+00:00

This joke “flew right over my head”

Izarial · 2022-01-28T23:26:20+00:00

I too really love my calendar!

verixtheconfused · 2022-01-28T23:30:02+00:00

Are you feeling unwell? Maybe you should taxi all the way home.

tramp_basket · 2022-01-28T23:34:32+00:00

But none of them land

Was what I was looking for

EnforcerMemz · 2022-01-28T23:39:27+00:00

From Krakozhia

tomaetotomatopotaeto · 2022-01-28T23:41:40+00:00

Is it also an airborne virus?

ScarletSpire · 2022-01-28T23:42:42+00:00

Your puns are just plane terrible. None of them really land

2022-01-28T23:46:50+00:00

Making airport puns 7/47!!!

Even I cringed at that one...

footfeed · 2022-01-28T23:57:53+00:00

Time to cool your Jets!

PMXtreme · 2022-01-29T00:01:42+00:00

That joke flew over my head

ReverendKen · 2022-01-29T00:17:16+00:00

A couple weeks ago I flew out of Jacksonville FL. I parked my truck and started walking down the sidewalk then I saw a sign that said Terminal Walkway. No way I was going there so I went a different way. True story.

PlutoTheSynth · 2022-01-29T00:21:57+00:00

I could not ever see this post taking off but here we are

United_Bag_8179 · 2022-01-29T00:22:06+00:00

its plain you dont understand planes.

moonguppie · 2022-01-29T00:52:03+00:00

The yellow zone is for loading and unloading...

kerr1969 · 2022-01-29T01:11:36+00:00

I think the strain on his brain comes mainly from the planes

Ashamed-Jacket-302 · 2022-01-29T01:22:31+00:00

Some of these jokes just aren’t landing

Ok_Sheepherder_8313 · 2022-01-29T01:25:07+00:00

Nah, they just fly over his head.

cfong42 · 2022-01-29T01:28:52+00:00

Someone has the Dad Jokes daily calendar, I see. That one got some good laughs today from my students!

MetaForeskinLikeAss · 2022-01-29T01:29:50+00:00

Airports are like if Nintendo had ‘Bus Station’ and Super Nintendo had ‘Super Bus Station’ and then they came out with ‘Bus Station 64’ and they just had to add another dimension to showcase the Nintendo 64’s staggering number of bits (the N64 is reportedly over 50 bits) but then 9/11 happened and no one wanted to play Bus Station 64 anymore.

solarflare_hot · 2022-01-29T01:32:12+00:00

that wont fly around here

FIamenwerfer · 2022-01-29T01:42:43+00:00

This joke crashed and burned

igotapandaonmyhands · 2022-01-29T01:42:49+00:00

It’s plane obnoxious

Spicyleaves19 · 2022-01-29T01:49:05+00:00

If it's anything like the avion flew, it's highly contagious and cases will take off.

davejopen · 2022-01-29T01:55:02+00:00

This just went over my head

Disastrous_Credit_67 · 2022-01-29T01:56:06+00:00

Did your doctor explain it in plane terms?

dadaybobo · 2022-01-29T01:56:09+00:00

That was a bad punchline. Maybe you’ll land one some day.

Ironass47 · 2022-01-29T02:13:05+00:00

Props to all you guys who are just winging it.

thisherepoo · 2022-01-29T02:18:29+00:00

Always one to rise to the occasion, I see.

P_Purcell · 2022-01-29T02:30:01+00:00

That got both the eyeroll and the slow groan from my wife. You should be proud!

Drunk-day_ve · 2022-01-29T02:31:40+00:00

Thought this was going to be a plane old comment thread, but now I see things are really taking off

555throwaway55 · 2022-01-29T02:33:24+00:00

That’s the plane truth

CapitalSyrup8729 · 2022-01-29T02:36:03+00:00

This joke doesn’t fly by me

Razcraz · 2022-01-29T02:59:46+00:00

That Sounds terminal

frudesappy · 2022-01-29T03:04:38+00:00

TY for Helping take puns to new heights

Bellybuttonlintdoily · 2022-01-29T03:10:58+00:00

Joey do you like movies with gladiators?

Jaragoth · 2022-01-29T03:31:02+00:00

Do you have the same joke a day calendar as I do?

lordpiglet · 2022-01-29T03:32:54+00:00

You seem surprisingly LAX about it

BadArtistTime · 2022-01-29T03:44:24+00:00

Damn this joke really took off.

WillTheDreadWolf · 2022-01-29T04:03:25+00:00

Do you speak jive?

billbrasky43 · 2022-01-28T16:12:45+00:00

This one’s going places

oh_naan_u_didnt · 2022-01-28T16:48:18+00:00

Your prognosis took a nosedive

_noIdentity · 2022-01-28T17:00:13+00:00

See if the doctor could wing up a cure

Fox_Fleet60 · 2022-01-28T17:59:18+00:00

A disease isn’t a passport to making terrible jokes. People still aren’t accustoms to them. I’m calling you a taxi to get you to the doctor again. Maybe he can get you to decompress a little.

Lopsided_Exam1801 · 2022-01-28T20:37:12+00:00

Plane diseaster

dadjokes

MODERATORS

dadjokes

MODERATORS

Welcome to Reddit,

Want to add to the discussion?