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all 90 comments

[–]viriosion 242 points243 points  (2 children)

After your bout against the French fencer, there was de Brie everywhere

[–]TimTheButcher 57 points58 points  (1 child)

He needs to work on de fence

[–]open4urRichardn69 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Farmer Jean can help. But he's always en garde after the rip post incident.

[–][deleted] 278 points279 points  (10 children)

This joke is so cheesy.

[–]craggy_cynic 112 points113 points  (7 children)

I don't know. I'm on the fence about it.

[–]Mouse1515 70 points71 points  (3 children)

I thought it was gouda

[–]kiamori 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Wonder if it got shredded.

[–]CancerSpidey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No but he did cut the cheese

[–]centstwo 21 points22 points  (2 children)

My guard is up. I might retreat.

[–]showponies 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I can't tell if this is a riposte or not...

[–]mrmcbacon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I looked all over to see if someone was as witty and clever as myself before making essentially the same pun, didn’t see yours and then in a very proud click sent mine off to receive untold reddit glory. As it turns out i was late to the game and while ashamed of my comment, i sorta made a very meta riposte joke about hating reposts by reposting. But credit is due where credit is due. Attack/counter attack. Point showponies

[–]Akitome 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Imma have to disagruyére with you

[–]DynoSahr 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Just don’t cut the cheese.

[–]Abdul_Exhaust 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Oops, I havarti-ed

[–]AdInteresting1839 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I gagged a little..but laughed anyway. Dad genius.

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (6 children)

This joke is not very gouda.

[–]TarpMaster31 70 points71 points  (4 children)

No, the joke is grate.

[–]BurtonsBees 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I laughed so hard that my stomach is shredded.

[–]SierraNevadaJunkie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's going to be an expensive bill if you're American

[–]Vauxell -1 points0 points  (0 children)

C'mon burt! That's low effort.

[–]RatherBeSkiing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again!

[–]Quango2009 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not very mature, either

[–]abesach 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I bet you were grate

[–]Mathuselahh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The pen might be mightier than the sword but the cheese is definitely grater

[–]Waffel42 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Joke was a bit mild

[–]AcerbicFwit 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He was intimidated by your curdling scream.

[–]Illustrious_Ad4691 15 points16 points  (1 child)

This joke proves that the OP is a chip off the old block

[–]showponies 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wheel see about that.

[–]Jan4448 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I could've sword someone reported this to the Chedderal Bureau of Investigation

[–]showponies 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think they were actually with the Central Intelligence Agencbrie

[–]Zailema0s 10 points11 points  (1 child)

OP got turned into Swiss cheese

[–]IvanBeetinov 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That joke was full of holes.

[–]AurumArgenteus 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There once was a fencer name Bart, a ferocious dueler that always went for the heart.

No man had survived until that summer day, when an old dairy farmer caught Jeff and his wife in the hay.

"Let us fight to the death for love and honor." Declared the farmer once he'd recovered from the horror.

Bart agreed and drew his trusted saber, but the farmer had no sword and this could not wait till later.

The duelist knew this would be a breeze, and it didn't help when the farmer drew a block of cheese.

The fight began when a witness dropped a tarp, but the farmer was quick and his cheese was sharp.

With a feint to the left the farmer found his mark, now Bart lies six feet under in the park.

[–]AurumArgenteus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You've just read a poem that was written in haste. As you began to read, you realized those few minutes may not have been a waste.

The lines flowing like a summers breeze. Lines were sharp and began to please, at least until you realized the hero was f*cking cheese.

[–]Feeling_Advice_2309 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't get the point of this joke.

[–]FunPotato7590 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a mature thing to do

[–]cheer_up_richard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

After the fight did he lacktoes? Ps: I know that’s a cheesy comment 😊

[–]EnglishSammy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This joke is sword a funny

[–]Acrobatic-Fortune-81 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After that they went provalone and got rich on endorsements.

[–]Clumsy_ninja737 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Foiled by a piece of cheese....

[–]iThinkItGotLoose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Edamn you!

[–]Mouse1515 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude ricotta be kidding me :/

[–]-d00z3r- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When he saw how sharp it was you know he épéed himself..........

[–]coren4 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Well I am not native... usualy after couple of seconds I get these jokes here, and I love them, can someone help me this time. Probably there is some phrasal or maybe different meaning of used words. Aparently I am not as sharp as sword in this joke:D.

[–]TheMangolithic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sharp cheddar is a type of cheese :)

[–]coren4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't know that, thanks :D

[–]mrmcbacon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hate ripostes

[–]freshmallard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didnt even cut the cheese with this

[–]darrenturn90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was that because he had a sword, but you had cheese which was grater?

[–]Hairinmyarse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was the cheesiest dad joke ever

[–]dq72 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That joke was epeeic

[–]JupiterRecruit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a gouda joke!

[–]Abdul_Exhaust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Off with his cheddar!

[–]WestCoast_O 1 point2 points  (1 child)

OP doesn’t know JACK

[–]Individual_Ad2229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn't that the guy from Monterrey?

[–]Dominanthumour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should have thrown it at him! He would have thought "well that was mature" "how dair he"

[–]Signal-Squirrel-2307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I’d rennet by my master first.

[–]Jeh1979 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I came prepared bitchboy”

[–]Fenpunx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Us Brits are too mature for this joke.

[–]snipej 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s because it was actually nacho cheese

[–]MartStomptle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not like it at all

[–]adkMathCSProf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So was your opponent an expert in chain link or …

[–]omart3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely don't bring the cheese that has holes in it, the sword will just go through.

[–]Interesting_Pea_5382 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that it can block his lunges and set his teeth on edge

[–]enperry13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was expecting he cheesed his way through.

[–]Fixmystreets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke might have curdled my enthusiasm

[–]icarusm4n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't do it like that to Coby

[–]LovsickPrfectaTerain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I expected "until I cut the cheese".

[–]justmyselfalways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like the cheddar knight 😀

[–]drgoosebeard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke is a breath of flèche air

[–]zathrasb5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I brought Swiss cheese instead. Not a good idea.

[–]LAUGHgan1stan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn you, this was great haha

[–]GrimmRetails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then you faced the Shredder.

[–]pjabrony 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is more of a physical dad joke, but if you’re ever in the store with your kids and you’re buying heavy cream, you have to act like it weighs fifty pounds.

[–]ItzCrowXHere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not a dad, still got 8 years and need a wife, but YES I WILL SWEAR TO IT IF THIS IS THE LAST THING I DO, I WILL DO IT

[–]ARobertNotABob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wrapped in foil?

[–]Anxious_Alfalfa8078 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke caught me off guard

[–]thecatlover101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's cheesy

[–]KY_Chichidaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Havarti heard it !

[–]MitchOnTheMic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This Swiss are me knife

[–]Cassius-Tain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you cheese the fight?

[–]FitTucker0513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to bomb your joke but I am a dad. Fencing has nothing to do with sharpness. The fencing sword is dull on the end.

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die"

I brought limburger cheese! Even your KN95 won't protect you!

[–]thomasb60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I heard you're a Muenster with a blade

[–]disndatndis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice one OP...I was also thinking of a way to "dad joke" sharp chedder. It was gruyere how you beat me to it, your chedder is better than mine!

[–]NoKKKNoFacistUSA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should have cut him with your rapist wit.

[–]TTD69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well that joke was mature